第108章

WhenIarrivedatSenegallia，atthreestagesfromAncona，myvetturinoaskedme，justasIwasgoingtobed，whetherIwouldallowhimtoaccommodateaJewwhowasgoingtoAnconainthechaise。

MyfirstimpulsemademeanswersharplythatIwantednooneinmychaise，muchlessaJew。

Thevetturinowentout，butavoicesaidwithinme，"Youmusttakethis’

poorIsraelite；"andinspiteofmyrepugnanceIcalledbackthemanandsignifiedmyassent。

"Thenyoumustmakeupyourmindtostartatanearlierhour，foritisFridayto—morrow，andyouknowtheJewsarenotallowedtotravelaftersunset。"

"IshallnotstartamomentearlierthanIintended，butyoucanmakeyourhorsestravelasquicklyasyoulike。"

Hegavemenoanswer，andwentout。ThenextmorningIfoundmyJew，anhonest—lookingfellow，inthecarriage。ThefirstthingheaskedmewaswhyIdidnotlikeJews。

"Becauseyourreligionteachesyoutohatemenofallotherreligions，especiallyChristians，andyouthinkyouhavedoneameritoriousactionwhenyouhavedeceivedus。Youdonotlookuponusasbrothers。Youareusurious，unmerciful，ourenemies，andsoIdonotlikeyou。"

"Youaremistaken，sir。Comewithmetooursynagoguethisevening，andyouwillhearusprayforallChristians，beginningwithourLordthePope。"

Icouldnothelpburstingintoaroaroflaughter。

"True，"Ireplied，"buttheprayercomesfromthemouthonly，andnotfromtheheart。IfyoudonotimmediatelyconfessthattheJewswouldnotprayfortheChristiansiftheywerethemasters，Iwillflingyououtofthechaise。"

OfcourseIdidnotcarryoutthisthreat，butIcompletedhisconfusionbyquotinginHebrewthepassagesintheOldTestament，wheretheJewsarebiddentodoallpossibleharmtotheGentiles，whomtheyweretocurseeveryday。

Afterthisthepoormansaidnomore。WhenweweregoingtotakeourdinnerIaskedhimtositbesideme，buthesaidhisreligionwouldnotallowhimtodoso，andthathewouldonlyeateggs，fruit，andsomefoiegrassausagehehadinhispocket。Heonlydrankwaterbecausehewasnotsurethatthewinewasunadulterated。

"Youstupidfellow，"Iexclaimed，"howcanyoueverbecertainofthepurityofwineunlessyouhavemadeityourself？"

WhenwewereonourwayagainhesaidthatifIlikedtocomeandstaywithhim，andtocontentmyselfwithsuchdishesasGodhadnotforbidden，hewouldmakememorecomfortablethanifIwenttotheinn，andatacheaperrate。

"ThenyouletlodgingstoChristians？"

"Idon’tletlodgingstoanybody，butIwillmakeanexceptioninyourcasetodisabuseyouofsomeofyourmistakennotions。Iwillonlyaskyousixpaulsaday，andgiveyoutwogoodmealswithoutwine。"

"Thenyoumustgivemefishandwine，Ipayingforthemasextras。"

"Certainly；IhaveaChristiancook，andmywifepaysagooddealofattentiontothecooking。"

"Youcangivemethefoiegraseveryday，ifyouwilleatitwithme。"

"Iknowwhatyouthink，butyoushallbesatisfied。"

IgotdownattheJew’shouse，wonderingatmyselfasIdidso。However，IknewthatifIdidnotlikemyaccommodationIcouldleavethenextday。

Hiswifeandchildrenwerewaitingforhim，andgavehimajoyfulwelcomeinhonouroftheSabbath。AllservileworkwasforbiddenonthisdayholytotheLord；andalloverthehouse，andinthefaceofallthefamily，Iobservedakindoffestalair。

Iwaswelcomedlikeabrother，andIrepliedasbestIcould；butawordfromMardocheus（sohewascalled）changedtheirpolitenessoffeelingintoapolitenessofinterest。

Mardocheusshewedmetworoomsformetochoosetheonewhichsuitedme，butlikingthembothIsaidIwouldtakethetwoforanotherpauladay，withwhicharrangementhewaswellenoughpleased。

Mardocheustoldhiswifewhatwehadsettled，andsheinstructedtheChristianservanttocookmysupperforme。

Ihadmyeffectstakenupstairs，andthenwentwithMardocheustothesynagogue。

DuringtheshortservicetheJewspaidnoattentiontomeortoseveralotherChristianswhowerepresent。TheJewsgotothesynagoguetopray，andinthisrespectIthinktheirconductworthyofimitationbytheChristians。

OnleavingthesynagogueIwentbymyselftotheExchange，thinkingoverthehappytimewhichwouldneverreturn。

ItwasinAnconathatIhadbeguntoenjoylife；andwhenIthoughtitover，itwasquiteashocktofindthatthiswasthirtyyearsago，forthirtyyearsisalongperiodinaman’slife。AndyetIfeltquitehappy，inspiteofthetenthlustrumsonearathandforme。

WhatadifferenceIfoundbetweenmyyouthandmymiddleage！Icouldscarcelyrecognizemyself。Iwasthenhappy，butnowunhappy；thenalltheworldwasbeforeme，andthefutureseemedagorgeousdream，andnowIwasobligedtoconfessthatmylifehadbeenallinvain。Imightlivetwentyyearsmore，butIfeltthatthehappytimewaspassedaway，andthefutureseemedalldreary。

Ireckonedupmyforty—sevenyears，andsawfortuneflyaway。Thisinitselfwasenoughtosaddenme，forwithoutthefavoursoftheficklegoddesslifewasnotworthliving，formeatallevents。

Myobject，then，wastoreturntomycountry；itwasasifIstruggledtoundoallthatIhaddone。AllIcouldhopeforwastosoftenthehardshipsoftheslowbutcertainpassagetothegrave。

Thesearethethoughtsofdecliningyearsandnotofyouth。Theyoungmanlooksonlytothepresent，believesthattheskywillalwayssmileuponhim，andlaughsatphilosophyasitvainlypreachesofoldage，misery，repentance，and，worstofall，abhorreddeath。

Suchweremythoughtstwenty—sixyearsago；whatmusttheybenow，whenI

amallalone，poor，despised，andimpotent。TheywouldkillmeifIdidnotresolutelysubduethem，forwhetherforgoodorillmyheartisstillyoung。Ofwhatusearedesireswhenonecannolongersatisfythem？I

writetokillennui，andItakeapleasureinwriting。WhetherIwritesenseornonsense，whatmatters？Iamamused，andthatisenough。

’Maloscriptordelirus，inersquevideri，Dummeadelectentmalameveldeniquefallunt，Quamsapere。’

WhenIcamebackIfoundMardocheusatsupperwithhisnumerousfamily，composedofelevenortwelveindividuals，andincludinghismother——anoldwomanofninety，wholookedverywell。InoticedanotherJewofmiddleage；hewasthehusbandofhiseldestdaughter，whodidnotstrikemeaspretty；buttheyoungerdaughter，whowasdestinedforaJewofPesaro，whomshehadneverseen，engagedallmyattention。Iremarkedtoherthatifshehadnotseenherfuturehusbandshecouldnotbeinlovewithhim，whereuponsherepliedinaseriousvoicethatitwasnotnecessarytobeinlovebeforeonemarried。Theoldwomanpraisedthegirlforthissentiment，andsaidshehadnotbeeninlovewithherhusbandtillthefirstchildwasborn。

IshallcalltheprettyJewessLeah，asIhavegoodreasonsfornotusingherrealname。

WhiletheywereenjoyingtheirmealIsatdownbesideherandtriedtomakemyselfasagreeableaspossible，butshewouldnotevenlookatme。

Mysupperwasexcellent，andmybedverycomfortable。

ThenextdaymylandlordtoldmethatIcouldgivemylinentothemaid，andthatLeahcouldgetitupforme。

ItoldhimIhadrelishedmysupper，butthatIshouldlikethefoiegraseverydayasIhadadispensation。

"Youshallhavesometo—morrow，butLeahistheonlyoneofuswhoeatsit。"

"ThenLeahmusttakeitwithme，andyoucantellherthatIshallgivehersomeCypruswinewhichisperfectlypure。"

Ihadnowine，butIwentforitthesamemorningtotheVenetianconsul，givinghimM。Dandolo’sletter。

TheconsulwasaVenetianoftheoldleaven。Hehadheardmyname，andseemeddelightedtomakemyacquaintance。Hewasakindofclownwithoutthepaint，fondofajoke，aregulargourmand，andamanofgreatexperience。HesoldmesomeScopoloandoldCyprusMuscat，buthebegantoexclaimwhenheheardwhereIwaslodging，andhowIhadcomethere。

"Heisrich，"hesaid，"butheisalsoagreatusurer，andifyouborrowmoneyofhimhewillmakeyourepentit。"

AfterinformingtheconsulthatIshouldnotleavetilltheendofthemonth，Iwenthometodinner，whichprovedexcellent。

ThenextdayIgaveoutmylinentothemaid，andLeahcametoaskmehowIlikedmylacegotup。

IfLeahhadexaminedmemorecloselyshewouldhaveseenthatthesightofhermagnificentbreast，unprotectedbyanykerchief，hadhadaremarkableeffectonme。

ItoldherthatIleftitalltoher，andthatshecoulddowhatshelikedwiththelinen。

"Thenitwillallcomeundermyhandsifyouareinnohurrytogo。"

"Youcanmakemestayaslongasyoulike，"saidI；butsheseemednottohearthisdeclaration。

"Everythingisquiteright，"Icontinued，"exceptthechocolate；Ilikeitwellfrothed。"

"ThenIwillmakeitforyoumyself。"

"ThenIwillgiveoutadoublequantity，andwewilltakeittogether。"

"Idon’tlikechocolate。"

"Iamsorrytohearthat；butyoulikefoiegras？"

"Yes，Ido；andfromwhatfathertellsmeIamgoingtotakesomewithyouto—day。"

"Ishallbedelighted。"

"Isupposeyouareafraidofbeingpoisoned？"

"Notatall；Ionlywishwecoulddietogether。"

Shepretendednottounderstand，andleftmeburningwithdesire。IfeltthatImusteitherobtainpossessionofherortellherfathernottosendherintomyroomanymore。

TheTurinJewesshadgivenmesomevaluablehintsastotheconductofamourswithJewishgirls。

MytheorywasthatLeahwouldbemoreeasilywonthanshe，foratAnconatherewasmuchmorelibertythanatTurin。

Thiswasarake’sreasoning，butevenrakesaremistakensometimes。

Thedinnerthatwasservedtomewasverygood，thoughcookedintheJewishstyle，andLeahbroughtinthefoiegrasandsatdownoppositetomewithamuslinkerchiefoverherbreast。

Thefoiegraswasexcellent，andwewasheditdownwithcopiouslibationsofScopolo，whichLeahfoundverymuchtohertaste。

Whenthefoiegraswasfinishedshegotup，butIstoppedher，forthedinnerwasonlyhalfover。

"Iwillstaythen，"saidshe，"butIamafraidmyfatherwillobject。"

"Verygood。Callyourmaster，"Isaidtothemaidwhocameinatthatmoment，"Ihaveawordtospeaktohim。"

"MydearMardocheus，"Isaidwhenhecame，"yourdaughter’sappetitedoublesmine，andIshallbemuchobligedifyouwillallowhertokeepmecompanywheneverwehavefoiegras。"

"Itisn’ttomyprofittodoubleyourappetite，butifyouliketopaydoubleIshallhavenoobjection。"

"Verygood，thatarrangementwillsuitme。"

InevidenceofmysatisfactionIgavehimabottleofScopolo，whichLeahguaranteedpure。

Wedinedtogether，andseeingthatthewinewasmakinghermirthfulI

toldherthathereyeswereinflamingmeandthatshemustletmekissthem。

"Mydutyobligesmetosaynay。Nokissingandnotouching；wehaveonlygottoeatanddrinktogether，andIshalllikeitasmuchasyou。"

"Youarecruel。"

"Iamwhollydependentonmyfather。"

"ShallIaskyourfathertogiveyouleavetobekind？"

"Idon’tthinkthatwouldbeproper，andmyfathermightbeoffendedandnotallowmetoseeyouanymore。"

"Andsupposinghetoldyounottobescrupulousabouttrifles？"

"ThenIshoulddespisehimandcontinuetodomyduty。"

SoclearadeclarationshewedmethatifIperseveredinthisintrigueI

mightgoonforeverwithoutsuccess。IalsobethoughtmethatIranariskofneglectingmychiefbusiness，whichwouldnotallowmetostaylonginAncona。

IsaidnothingmoretoLeahjustthen，andwhenthedessertcameinI

gavehersomeCypruswine，whichshedeclaredwasthemostdeliciousnectarshehadevertasted。

Isawthatthewinewasheatingher，anditseemedincredibletomethatBacchusshouldreignwithoutVenus；butshehadahardhead，herbloodwashotandherbraincool。

However，Itriedtoseizeherhandandkissit，butshedrewitaway，sayingpleasantly，——

"It’stoomuchforhonourandtoolittleforlove。"

Thiswittyremarkamusedme，anditalsoletmeknowthatshewasnotexactlyaneophyte。

Ideterminedtopostponematterstillthenextday，andtoldhernottogetmeanysupperasIwassuppingwiththeVenetianconsul。

Theconsulhadtoldmethathedidnotdine，butthathewouldalwaysbedelightedtoseemeatsupper。

ItwasmidnightwhenIcamehome，andeveryonewasasleepexceptthemaidwholetmein。Igavehersuchagratuitythatshemusthavewishedmetokeeplatehoursfortherestofmystay。

IproceededtosoundheraboutLeah，butshetoldmenothingbutgood。

Ifshewastobebelieved，Leahwasagoodgirl，alwaysatwork，lovedbyall，andfancyfree。Themaidcouldnothavepraisedherbetterifshehadbeenpaidtodoso。

InthemorningLeahbroughtthechocolateandsatdownonmybed，sayingthatweshouldhavesomefinefoiegras，andthatsheshouldhaveallthebetterappetitefordinnerasshehadnottakenanysupper。

"Whydidn’tyoutakeanysupper？"

"IsupposeitwasbecauseofyourexcellentCypruswine，towhichmyfatherhastakenagreatliking。"

"Ah！helikeit？Wewillgivehimsome。"

Leahwasinastateofundressasbefore，andthesightofherhalf—

coveredspheresdrovemetodistraction。

"Areyounotawarethatyouhaveabeautifulbreast？"saidI。

"Ithoughtallyounggirlswerejustthesame。"

"Haveyounosuspicionthatthesightisaverypleasantoneforme？"

"Ifthatbeso，Iamveryglad，forIhavenothingtobeashamedof，foragirlhasnocalltohideherthroatanymorethanherface，unlesssheisingrandcompany。"

Asshewasspeaking，Leahlookedatagoldenhearttransfixedwithanarrowandsetwithsmalldiamondswhichservedmeasashirtstud。

"Doyoulikethelittleheart？"saidI。

"Verymuch。Isitpuregold？"

"Certainly，andthatbeingsoIthinkImayofferittoyou。"

SosayingItookitoff，butshethankedmepolitely，andsaidthatagirlwhogavenothingmusttakenothing。

"Takeit；Iwillneveraskanyfavourofyou。"

"ButIshouldbeindebtedtoyou，andthat’sthereasonwhyInevertakeanything。"

Isawthattherewasnothingtobedone，orratherthatitwouldbenecessarytodotoomuchtodoanything，andthatinanycasethebestplanwouldbetogiveherup。

Iputasideallthoughtsofviolence，whichwouldonlyangerherormakeherlaughatme。Ishouldeitherhavebeendegraded，orrenderedmoreamorous，andallfornothing。Ifshehadtakenoffenseshewouldnothavecometoseemeanymore，andIshouldhavehadnoughttocomplainof。InfineImadeupmymindtorestrainmyself，andindulgenomoreinamoroustalk。

Wedinedverypleasantlytogether。Theservantbroughtinsomeshell—

fish，whichareforbiddenbytheMosaicLaw。WhilethemaidwasintheroomIaskedLeahtotakesome，andsherefusedindignantly；butdirectlythegirlwasgoneshetooksomeofherownaccordandatethemeagerly，assuringmethatitwasthefirsttimeshehadhadthepleasureoftastingshellfish。

"Thisgirl，"Isaidtomyself，"whobreaksthelawofherreligionwithsuchlevity，wholikespleasureanddoesnotconcealit，thisisthegirlwhowantstomakemebelievethatsheisinsensibletothepleasuresoflove；that’simpossible，thoughshemaynotloveme。Shemusthavesomesecretmeansofsatisfyingherpassions，whichinmyopinionareveryviolent。WewillseewhatcanbedonethiseveningwiththehelpofabottleofgoodMuscat。"

However，whentheeveningcame，shesaidshecouldnotdrinkoreatanything，asamealalwayspreventedhersleeping。

Thenextdayshebroughtmemychocolate，butherbeautifulbreastwascoveredwithawhitekerchief。Shesatdownonthebedasusual，andI

observedinamelancholymannerthatshehadonlycoveredherbreastbecauseIhadsaidItookapleasureinseeingit。

Sherepliedthatshehadnotthoughtofanything，andhadonlyputonherkerchiefbecauseshehadhadnotimetofastenherstays。

"Youarewholeright，"Isaid，smilingly，"forifIweretoseethewholebreastImightnotthinkitbeautiful。"

Shegavenoanswer，andIfinishedmychocolate。

Irecollectedmycollectionofobscenepictures，andIbeggedLeahtogivemethebox，tellingherthatIwouldshewhersomeofthemostbeautifulbreastsintheworld。

"Ishan’tcaretoseethem，"saidshe；butshegavemethebox，andsatdownonmybedasbefore。

Itookoutapictureofanakedwomanlyingonherbackandabusingherself，andcoveringupthelowerpartofitIshewedittoLeah。

"Butherbreastislikeanyother，"saidLeah。

"Takeawayyourhandkerchief。"

"Takeitback；it’sdisgusting。It’swellenoughdone，"sheadded，withaburstoflaughter，"butit’snonoveltyforme。"

"Nonoveltyforyou？"

"Ofcoursenot；everygirldoeslikethatbeforeshegetsmarried。"

"Thenyoudoit，too？"

"WheneverIwantto。"

"Doitnow。"

"Awell—bredgirlalwaysdoesitinprivate。"

"Andwhatdoyoudoafter？"

"IfIaminbedIgotosleep。"

"MydearLeah，yoursincerityistoomuchforme。Eitherbekindorvisitmenomore。"

"Youareveryweak，Ithink。"

"Yes，becauseIamstrong。"

"Thenhenceforthweshallonlymeetatdinner。Butchewmesomemoreminiatures。"

"Ihavesomepictureswhichyouwillnotlike。"

"Letmeseethem。"

IgaveherArentin’sfigures，andwasastonishedtoseehowcoollysheexaminedthem，passingfromonetotheotherinthemostcommonplaceway。

"Doyouthinktheminteresting？"Isaid。

"Yes，very；theyaresonatural。Butagoodgirlshouldnotlookatsuchpictures；anyonemustbeawarethatthesevoluptuousattitudesexciteone’semotions。"

"Ibelieveyou，Leah，andIfeelitasmuchasyou。Lookhere！"

Shesmiledandtookthebookawaytothewindow，turningherbacktowardsmewithouttakinganynoticeofmyappeal。

Ihadtocooldownanddressmyself，andwhenthehairdresserarrivedLeahwentaway，sayingshewouldreturn