第81章

Whiledinnerwasbeingpreparedweshutourselvesupinaroomtoavoidthecrowdofwomenwhopesteredustobuyathousandtrifles，andattwoo’clockwestarted，Moreauhavinggothismoney。WegottoCosneattwilight，andthoughClairmontwaswaitingforusatBriane，IdecidedonstoppingwhereIwas，andthisnightprovedsuperiortothefirst。Thenextdaywemadeabreakfastofthemealwhichhadbeenpreparedforoursupper，andwesleptatFontainebleau，whereIenjoyedAdeleforthelasttime。InthemorningIpromisedtocomeandseeheratLouviers，whenIreturnedfromEngland，butIcouldnotkeepmyword。

WetookfourhourstogetfromFontainebleautoParis，buthowquicklythetimepassed。IstoppedthecarriagenearthePontSt。

Michel，oppositetoaclockmaker’sshop，andafterlookingatseveralwatchesIgaveonetoAdele，andthendroppedherandherfatheratthecorneroftheRueauxOurs。Igotdownatthe"HoteldeMontmorenci，"notwantingtostopwithMadamed’Urfe，butafterdressingIwenttodinewithher。

CHAPTERVI

IDriveMyBrotherTheAbbeFromParis——MadameduRumainRecoversHerVoiceThroughMyCabala——ABadJoke——TheCorticelli——ITaked’ArandatoLondonMyArrivalAtCalaisAsusual，Madamed’Urfereceivedmewithopenarms，butIwassurprisedathearinghertellArandatofetchthesealedlettershehadgivenhiminthemorning。Iopenedit，founditwasdatedthesameday，andcontainedthefollowing:

"Mygeniustoldmeatday—breakthatGaltinarduswasstartingfromFontainebleau，andthathewillcomeanddinewithmeto—day。"

Shechancedtoberight，butIhavehadmanysimilarexperiencesinthecourseofmylife—experienceswhichwouldhaveturnedanyotherman’shead。Iconfesstheyhavesurprisedme，buttheyhavenevermademelosemyreasoningpowers。Menmakeaguesswhichturnsouttobecorrect，andtheyimmediatelyclaimpropheticpower；buttheyforgotallaboutthemanycasesinwhichtheyhavebeenmistaken。

SixmonthsagoIwassillyenoughtobetthatabitchwouldhavealitteroffivebitchpupsonacertainday，andIwon。Everyonethoughtitamarvelexceptmyself，forifIhadchancedtoloseI

shouldhavebeenthefirsttolaugh。

InaturallyexpressedmyadmirationforMadamed’Urfe’sgenius，andsharedherjoyinfindingherselfsowellduringherpregnancy。Theworthylunatichadgivenordersthatshewasnotathometoherusualcallers，inexpectationofmyarrival，andsowespenttherestofthedaytogether，consultinghowwecouldmakeArandagotoLondonofhisownfreewill；andasIdidnotintheleastknowhowitwastobedone，therepliesoftheoraclewereveryobscure。Madamed’Urfehadsuchastrongdisliketobiddinghimgo，thatIcouldnotpresumeonherobediencetothatextent，andIhadtorackmybrainstofindoutsomewayofmakingthelittlemanasktobetakentoLondonasafavour。

IwenttotheComedieItalienne，whereIfoundMadameduRumain，whoseemedgladtoseemebackinParisagain。

"Iwanttoconsulttheoracleonamatterofthegreatestimportance，"saidshe，"andIhopeyouwillcomeandseemetomorrow。"

I，ofcourse，promisedtodoso。

Ididnotcarefortheperformance，andshouldhaveleftthetheatreifIhadnotwantedtoseetheballet，thoughIcouldnotguessthepeculiarinterestitwouldhaveforme。WhatwasmysurprisetoseetheCorticelliamongstthedancers。IthoughtIwouldliketospeaktoher，notforanyamorousreasons，butbecauseIfeltcurioustohearheradventures。AsIcameoutImettheworthyBaletti，whotoldmehehadleftthestageandwaslivingonanannuity。IaskedhimabouttheCorticelli，andhegavemeheraddress，tellingmethatshewasinapoorway。

Iwenttosupwithmybrotherandhiswife，whoweredelightedtoseeme，andtoldmethatIhadcomejustintimetousealittlegentlepersuasiononourfriendtheabbe，ofwhomtheyhadgottired。

"Whereishe？"

"Youwillseehimbeforelong，foritisnearsupper—time；andaseatinganddrinkingarethechiefconcernsofhislife，hewillnotfailtoputinanappearance。"

"Whathashedone？"

"Everythingthatagood—for—nothingcando；butIhearhimcoming，andIwilltellyouallaboutitinhispresence。"

Theabbewasastonishedtoseeme，andbeganapolitespeech，althoughIdidnotfavourhimwithsomuchasalook。ThenheaskedmewhatIhadagainsthim。

"Allthatanhonestmancanhaveagainstamonster。IhavereadtheletteryouwrotetoPossano，inwhichIamstyledacheat，aspy，acoiner，andapoisoner。Whatdoestheabbethinkofthat？"

Hesatdowntotablewithoutaword，andmybrotherbeganasfollows:

"Whenthisfinegentlemanfirstcamehere，mywifeandIgavehimamostcordialwelcome。Iallowedhimaniceroom，andtoldhimtolookuponmyhouseashisown。Possiblywiththeideaofinterestingusinhisfavour，hebeganbysayingthatyouwerethegreatestrascalintheworld。ToproveithetoldushowhehadcarriedoffagirlfromVenicewiththeideaofmarryingher，andwenttoyouatGenoaashewasingreatnecessity。Heconfessesthatyourescuedhimfromhismisery，buthesaysthatyoutraitorouslytookpossessionofthegirl，associatingherwithtwoothermistressesyouhadatthattime。Infine，hesaysthatyoulaywithherbeforehiseyes，andthatyoudrovehimfromMarseillesthatyoumightbeabletoenjoyherwithgreaterfreedom。

"HefinishedhisstorybysayingthatashecouldnotgobacktoVenice，heneededourhelptillhecouldfindsomemeansoflivingonhistalentsorthroughhisprofessionasapriest。Iaskedhimwhathistalentswere，andhesaidhecouldteachItalian；butashespeaksitvilely，anddoesn’tknowawordofFrench，welaughedathim。Wewerethereforereducedtoseeingwhatwecoulddoforhiminhischaracterofpriest，andtheverynextdaymywifespoketoM。deSauci，theecclesiasticalcommissioner，begginghimtogivemybrotheranintroductiontotheArchbishopofParis，whomightgivehimsomethingthatmightleadtohisobtainingagoodbenefice。Hewouldhavetogotoourparishchurch，andIspoketotherectorofSt。Sauveur，whopromisedtolethimsaymass，forwhichhewouldreceivetheusualsumoftwelvesols。Thiswasaverygoodbeginning，andmighthaveledtosomethingworthhaving；butwhenwetoldtheworthyabbeofoursuccess，hegotintoarage，sayingthathewasnotthemantosaymassfortwelvesols，nortotoadythearchbishopinthehopeofbeingtakenintohisservice。No，hewasnotgoingtobeinanyone’sservice。Weconcealedourindignation，butforthethreeweekshehasbeenherehehasturnedeverythingupsidedown。Mywife’smaidleftusyesterday，toourgreatannoyance，becauseofhim；andthecooksaysshewillgoifheremains，asheisalwaysbotheringherinthekitchen。Wearethereforeresolvedthatheshallgo，forhissocietyisintolerabletous。Iamdelightedtohaveyouhere，asIthinkweoughttobeabletodrivehimawaybetweenus，andthesoonerthebetter。"

"Nothingeasier，"saidI；"ifhelikestostayinParis，lethimdoso。Youcansendoffhisragstosomefurnishedapartments，andservehimwithapoliceordernottoputfootinyourhouseagain。

Ontheotherhandifhewantstogoaway，lethimsaywhere，andI

willpayhisjourney—moneythisevening。"

"Nothingcouldbemoregenerous。Whatdoyousay，abbe？"

"IsaythatthisisthewayinwhichhedrovemefromMarseilles。

Whatintolerableviolence！"

"GiveGodthanks，monster，thatinsteadofthrashingyouwithinaninchofyourlifeasyoudeserve，Iamgoingtogiveyousomemoney！

YouthoughtyouwouldgetmehangedatLyons，didyou？"

"WhereisMarcoline？"

"Whatisthattoyou？MakehasteandchoosebetweenRomeandParis，andrememberthatifyouchooseParisyouwillhavenothingtoliveon。"

"ThenIwillgotoRome。"

"Good！Thejourneyonlycoststwentylouis，butIwillgiveyoutwenty—five。"

"Handthemover。"

"Patience。Givemepens，inkandpaper。"

"Whatareyougoingtowrite？"

"BillsofexchangeonLyons，Turin，Genoa，Florence，andRome。YourplacewillbepaidasfarasLyons，andthereyouwillbeabletogetfivelouis，andthesamesumintheothertowns，butaslongasyoustayinParisnotonesinglefarthingwillIgiveyou。Iamstayingatthe’HotelMontmorenci；’that’sallyouneedknowaboutme。"

Ithenbadefarewelltomybrotherandhiswife，tellingthemthatweshouldmeetagain。Checco，aswecalledmybrother，toldmehewouldsendontheabbe’strunkthedayfollowing，andIbadehimdosobyallmeans。

Thenextdaytrunkandabbecametogether。Ididnotevenlookathim，butafterIhadseenthataroomhadbeenassignedtohim，I

calledouttothelandlordthatIwouldbeanswerablefortheabbe’sboardandlodgingforthreedays，andnotamomentmore。Theabbetriedtospeaktome，butIsternlydeclinedtohaveanythingtosaytohim，strictlyforbiddingClairmonttoadmithimtomyapartments。

WhenIwenttoMadameduRumain’s，theportersaid，——

"Sir，everybodyisstillasleep，butwhoareyou？Ihaveinstructions。"

"IamtheChevalierdeSeingalt。"

"Kindlycomeintomylodge，andamuseyourselfwithmyniece。Iwillsoonbewithyou。"

Iwentin，andfoundaneatly—dressedandcharminggirl。

"Mademoiselle，"saidI，"yourunclehastoldmetocomeandamusemyselfwithyou。"

"Heisarascal，forheconsultedneitherofus。"

"Yes，butheknewwellenoughthattherecouldbenodoubtaboutmyopinionafterIhadseenyou。"

"Youareveryflattering，sir，butIknowthevalueofcompliments。"

"Yes，Isupposethatyouoftengetthem，andyouwelldeservethemall。"

Theconversation，aswellastheprettyeyesoftheniece，begantointerestme，butfortunatelytheuncleputanendtoitbybeggingmetofollowhim。Hetookmetothemaid’sroom，andIfoundherputtingonapetticoat，andgrumblingthewhile。

"Whatisthematter，myprettymaid？Youdon’tseemtobeinagoodhumour。"

"Youwouldhavedonebettertocomeatnoon；itisnotnineo’clockyet，andmadamedidnotcomehometillthreeo’clockthismorning。I

amjustgoingtowakeher，andIamsorryforher。"

Iwastakenintotheroomdirectly，andthoughhereyeswerehalfclosedshethankedmeforawakingher，whileIapologizedforhavingdisturbedhersleep。

"Raton，"saidshe，"giveusthewritingmaterials，andgoaway。

Don’tcometillIcallyou，andifanyoneasksforme，Iamasleep。"

"Verygood，madam，andIwillgotosleepalso。"

"MydearM。Casanova，howisitthattheoraclehasdeceivedus？

M。duRumainisstillalive，andheoughttohavediedsixmonthsago。Itistruethatheisnotwell，butwewillnotgointoallthatagain。Thereallyimportantquestionisthis:Youknowthatmusicismyfavouritepursuit，andthatmyvoiceisfamousforitsstrengthandcompass；well，Ihavecomrletelylostit。Ihavenotsunganoteforthreemonths。Thedoctorshavestuffedmewithremedieswhichhavehadnoeffect:Itmakesmeveryunhappy，forsingingwastheonethingthatmademeclingtolife。IentreatyoutoasktheoraclehowIcanrecovermyvoice。HowdelightedIshouldbeifIcouldsingbyto—morrow。Ihaveagreatmanypeoplecominghere，andIshouldenjoythegeneralastonishment。IftheoraclewillsitIamsurethatitmightbeso，forIhaveaverystrongchest。Thatismyquestion；itisalongone，butsomuchthebetter；theanswerwillbelongtoo，andIlikelonganswers。"

Iwasofthesameopinion，forwhenthequestionwasalongone，I

hadtimetothinkovertheanswerasImadethepyramid。MadameRumain’scomplaintwasevidentlysomethingtrifling，butIwasnophysician，andknewnothingaboutmedicine。Besides，forthehonourofthecabala，theoraclemusthavenothingtodowithmereempiricremedies。Isoonmadeupmymindthatalittlecareinherwayoflivingwouldsoonrestorethethroattoitsnormalcondition，andanydoctorwithbrainsinhisheadcouldhavetoldherasmuch。InthepositionIwasin，Ihadtomakeuseofthelanguageofacharlatan，soIresolvedonprescribingaceremonialworshiptothesun，atanhourwhichwouldinsuresomeregularityinhermodeoflife。

Theoracledeclaredthatshewouldrecoverhervoiceintwenty—onedays，reckoningfromthenewmoon，ifsheworshippedtherisingsuneverymorning，inaroomwhichhadatleastonewindowlookingtotheeast。

Asecondreplybadehersleepsevenhoursinsuccessionbeforeshesacrificedtothesun，eachhoursymbolizingoneofthesevenplanets；andbeforeshewenttosleepshewastotakeabathinhonourofthemoon，placingherlegsinlukewarmwateruptotheknees。Ithenpointedoutthepsalmswhichshewastorecitetothemoon，andthosewhichshewastosayinthefaceoftherisingsun，ataclosedwindow。

Thislastdirectionfilledherwithadmiration，"for，"saidshe，"theoracleknewthatIshouldcatchcoldifthewindowwereopen。Iwilldoeverythingtheoraclebidsme，"addedthecredulouslady，"butI

hopeyouwillgetmeeverythingnecessaryfortheceremonies"

"Iwillnotonlytakecarethatyouhavealltherequisites，butasaproofofmyzealforyou，Iwillcomeanddothesuffumigationsmyselfthatyoumaylearnhowitisdone。"

Sheseemeddeeplymovedbythisoffer，butIexpectedasmuch。I

knewhowthemosttriflingservicesareassessedatthehighestrates；andhereinliesthegreatsecretofsuccessintheworld，aboveall，whereladiesoffashionareconcerned。

Aswehadtobeginthenextday，beingthenewmoon，Icalledonheratnineo’clock。Asshehadtosleepforsevensuccessivehoursbeforeperformingtheceremoniestotherisingsun，shewouldhavetogotobedbeforeten；andtheobservanceofallthesetrifleswasofimportance，asanyonecanunderstand。

Iwassurethatifanythingcouldrestorethislady’svoiceacarefulregimenwoulddoit。Iprovedtoberight，andatLondonIreceivedagratefulletterannouncingthesuccessofmymethod。

MadameduRumain，whosedaughtermarriedthePrincedePolignac，wasaloverofpleasure，andhauntedgrandsupper—parties。Shecouldnotexpecttoenjoyperfecthealth，andshehadlosthervoicebythewayinwhichshehadabusedit。Whenshehadrecoveredhervoice，asshethought，bytheinfluenceofthegenii，shelaughedatanyonewhotoldherthattherewasnosuchthingasmagic。

IfoundaletterfromThereseatMadamed’Urfe’s，inwhichsheinformedmethatshewouldcometoParisandtakehersonbackbyforceifIdidnotbringhimtoLondon，addingthatshewantedapositivereply。Ididnotaskforanythingmore，butIthoughtThereseveryinsolent。

ItoldArandathathismotherwouldbewaitingforusatAbbevilleinaweek’stime，andthatshewantedtoseehim。

"Wewillbothgiveherthepleasureofseeingus。"

"Certainly，"saidhe；"butasyouaregoingontoLondon，howshallI

comeback？"

"Byyourself，"saidMadamed’Urfe，"dressedasapostillion。"

"WhatshallIridepost？Howdelightfull"

"Youmustonlycovereightortenpostsaday，foryouhavenoneedtoriskyourlifebyridingallnight。"

"Yes，yes；butIamtodresslikeapostillion，amInot？"

"Yes；Iwillhaveahandsomejacketandapairofleatherbreechesmadeforyou，andyoushallhaveaflagwiththearmsofFranceonit。"

"TheywilltakemeforacouriergoingtoLondon。"

Withtheideathattothrowdifficultiesinthewaywouldconfirmhiminhisdesiretogo，IsaidroughlythatIcouldnothearofit，asthehorsemightfallandbreakhisneck。IhadtobebeggedandentreatedforthreedaysbeforeIwouldgivein，andIdidsoontheconditionthatheshouldonlyrideonhiswayback。

AshewascertainofreturningtoParis，heonlytooklinensufficientforaveryshortabsence；butasIknewthatonceatAbbevillehecouldnotescapeme，IsenthistrunkontoCalais，wherewefounditonourarrival。However，theworthyMadamed’Urfegothimamagnificentpostillion’ssuit，notforgettingthetop—boots。

Thisbusinesswhichofferedagoodmanydifficultieswashappilyarrangedbytheactionofpurechance；andIamgladtoconfessthatofteninmylifehaschanceturnedthescaleinmyfavour。

IcalledonabankerandgothimtogivemeheavycreditsonseveralofthemostimportanthousesinLondon，whereIwishedtomakenumerousacquaintances。

WhileIwascrossingthePlacedesVictoires，IpassedbythehousewheretheCorticellilived，andmycuriositymademeenter。Shewasastonishedtoseeme，andafteralongsilencesheburstintotears，andsaid，——

"IshouldneverhavebeenunhappyifIhadneverknownyou。"

"Yes，youwould，onlyinsomeotherway；yourmisfortunesaretheresultofyourbadconduct。Buttellmewhatareyourmisfortunes。"

"AsIcouldnotstayinTurinafteryouhaddishonouredme……"

"Youcametodishonouryourselfhere，Isuppose。Dropthattone，orelseIwillleaveyou。"

Shebeganherwretchedtale，whichstruckmewithconsternation，forIcouldnothelpfeelingthatIwasthefirstandfinalcauseofthislonglistofwoes。HenceIfeltitwasmydutytosuccourher，howeverillshehadtreatedmeinthepast。

"Then，"saidI，"youareatpresentthevictimofafearfuldisease，heavilyindebt，likelytobeturnedoutofdoorsandimprisonedbyyourcreditors。Whatdoyouproposetodo？"

"Do！Why，throwmyselfintheSeine，tobesure；that’sallthatisleftformetodo。Ihavenotafarthingleft。"

"Andwhatwouldyoudoifyouhadsomemoney？"

"Iwouldputmyselfunderthedoctor’shands，inthefirstplace，andthenifanymoneywasleftIwouldgotoBolognaandtrytogetalivingsomehow。PerhapsIshouldhavelearntalittlewisdombyexperience。"

"Poorgirl，Ipityyou！andinspiteofyourbadtreatmentofme，whichhasbroughtyoutothispass，Iwillnotabandonyou。Herearefourlouisforyourpresentwants，andto—morrowIwilltellyouwhereyouaretogoforyourcure。Whenyouhavegotwellagain，I

willgiveyouenoughmoneyforthejourney。Dryyourtears，repent，amendyourways，andmayGodhavemercyonyou！"

Thepoorgirlthrewherselfonthegroundbeforeme，andcoveredoneofmyhandswithkisses，beggingmetoforgiveherfortheillshehaddoneme。Icomfortedherandwentmyway，feelingverysad。I

tookacoachanddrovetotheRuedeSeine，whereIcalledonanoldsurgeonIknew，toldhimthestory，andwhatIwantedhimtodo。Hetoldmehecouldcureherinsixweekswithoutanybodyhearingaboutit，butthathemustbepaidinadvance。

"Certainly；butthegirlispoor，andIamdoingitoutofcharity。"

TheworthymantookapieceofpaperandgavemeanoteaddressedtoahouseintheFaubourgSt。Antoine，whichranasfollows:

"Youwilltakeinthepersonwhobringsyouthisnoteandthreehundredfrancs，andinsixweeksyouwillsendherbackcured，ifitpleaseGod。Thepersonhasreasonsfornotwishingtobeknown。"

Iwasdelightedtohavemanagedthemattersospeedilyandatsuchacheaprate，andIwenttobedinacalmerstateofmind，deferringmyinterviewwithmybrothertillthenextday。

Hecameateighto’clock，and，constanttohisfolly，toldmehehadaplantowhichhewassureIcouldhavenoobjection。

"Idon’twanttohearanythingaboutit；makeyourchoice，ParisorRome。"

"Givemethejourney—money，IwillremainatParis；butIwillgiveawrittenenga