第54章

"Becalm，myangel，mydiseaseisofaverytriflingnature。Iamonlytakingnitre，andinaweekIshallbequitewellagain。Ihopethatthen……"

"Ah！mydearfriend。"

"What？"

"Don’tletusthinkofthatanymore，Ibeseechyou。"

"Youaredisgusted，andnotunnaturally；butyourlovecannotbeverystrong，Ah！howunhappyIam。"

"Iammoreunhappythanyou。Iloveyou，andyouwouldbethanklessindeedifyouceasedtoloveme。Letusloveeachother，butletusnotendeavourtogiveoneanotherproofsofourlove。Itmightbefatal。Thataccursedwidow！Sheisgoneaway，andinafortnightweshallbegoingalsotoBale，whereweremaintilltheendofNovember。"

Thedieiscast，andIseethatImustsubmittoyourdecision，orrathertomydestiny，fornonebutfataleventshavebefallenmesinceIcametoSwitzerland。MyonlyconsolingthoughtisthatI

havemadeyourhonoursafe。"

"Youhavewonmyhusband’sfriendshipandesteem；weshallalwaysbegoodfriends。"

"IfyouaregoingIfeelthatImustgobeforeyou。Thatwilltendtoconvincethewretchedauthorofmywoethatthereisnothingblame—worthyinmyfriendshipforyou。"

"Youreasonlikeanangel，andyouconvincememoreandmoreofyourlove。Whereareyougoing？"

"ToItaly；butIshalltakeBerneandGenevaonmyway。"

"YouwillnotbecomingtoBale，then？Iamgladtohearit，inspiteofthepleasureitwouldgivemetoseeyou。Nodoubtyourarrivalwouldgiveahandleforthegossips，andImightsufferbyit。Butifpossible，inthefewdaysyouaretoremain，shewyourselftobeingoodspirits，forsadnessdoesnotbecomeyou。"

WerejoinedtheambassadorandM。————whohadnothadtimetothinkaboutus，asmydearDuboishadkeptthemamusedbyherlivelyconversation。IreproachedherforthewayinwhichshehusbandedherwitasfarasIwasconcerned，andM。deChavigni，seizingtheopportunity，toldusitwasbecausewewereinlove，andloversareknowntobecharyoftheirwords。Myhousekeeperwasnotlonginfindingarepartee，andsheagainbegantoentertainthetwogentlemen，sothatIwasenabledtocontinuemywalkwithMadame，whosaid，——

"Yourhousekeeper，mydearfriend，isamasterpiece。Tellmethetruth，andIpromisetogiveyouamarkofmygratitudethatwillpleaseyoubeforeIgo。"

"Speak；whatdoyouwishtoknow？"

"Youloveherandshelovesyouinreturn。"

"Ithinkyouareright，butsofar……"

"Idon’twanttoknowanymore，forifmattersarenotyetarrangedtheysoonwillbe，andsoitcomestothesamething。IfyouhadtoldmeyoudidnotloveherIshouldnothavebelievedyou，forI

can’tconceivethatamanofyouragecanlivewithawomanlikethatwithoutlovingher。Sheisveryprettyandexceedinglyintelligent，shehasgoodspirits，talents，anexcellentmanner，andshespeaksexceedinglywell:thatisenoughtocharmyou，andIexpectyouwillfinditdifficulttoseparatefromher。Lebeldidherabadturninsendinghertoyou，assheusedtohaveanexcellentreputation，andnowshewillnolongerbeabletogetaplacewithladiesinthehighestsociety。"

"IshalltakehertoBerne。"

"Thatisagoodidea。"

JustastheyweregoingIsaidthatIshouldsoonbecomingtoSoleuretothankthemforthedistinguishedreceptiontheyhadgivenme，asIproposedleavinginafewdays。TheideaofneverseeingMadameagainwassopainfultomethatassoonasIgotinIwenttobed，andmyhousekeeper，respectingmymelancholy，retiredafterwishingmegood—night。

IntwoorthreedaysIreceivedanotefrommycharmer，biddingmecalluponthemthedayfollowingataboutteno’clock，andtellingmeIwastoaskfordinner。Icarriedoutherorderstotheletter。

M。gavemeamostfriendlyreception，butsayingthathewasobligedtogointothecountryandcouldnotbehometilloneo’clock，hebeggedmenottobeoffendedifhedeliveredmeovertohiswifeforthemorning。Suchisthefateofamiserablehusband！Hiswifewasengagedwithayounggirlattambour—work；Iacceptedhercompanyontheconditionthatshewouldnotallowmetodisturbherwork。

Thegirlwentawayatnoon，andsoonafterwewenttoenjoythefreshairoutsidethehouse。Wesatinasummer—housefromwhich，ourselvesunseen，wecouldseeallthecarriagesthatapproachedthehouse。

"Why，dearest，didyounotprocuremetheblisswhenIwasingoodhealth。"

"Becauseatthattimemyhusbandsuspectedthatyouturnedyourselfintoawaiterformysake，andthatyoucouldnotbeindifferenttowardsme。Yourdiscretionhasdestroyedhissuspicions；andalsoyourhousekeeper，whomhebelievestobeyourwife，andwhohastakenhisfancytosuchanextent，thatIbelievehewouldwillinglyconsenttoanexchange，forafewdaysatanyrate。Wouldyouagree？"

"Ah！iftheexchangecouldbeeffected。"

Havingonlyanhourbeforeme，andforeseeingthatitwouldbethelastIshouldpassbesideher，Ithrewmyselfatherfeet。Shewasfullofaffection，andputnoobstaclesinthewayofmydesires，savethosewhichmyownfeelingsdictated，forIlovedhertoowelltoconsenttoinjureherhealth。IdidallIcouldtoreplacetheutmostbliss，butthepleasuresheenjoyeddoubtlessconsistedinagreatmeasureinshewingmehersuperioritytothehorriblewidow。

Whenwesawthehusband’scarriagecoming，weroseandtookcarethattheworthymanshouldnotfindusinthearbour。Hemadeathousandexcusesfornothavingreturnedsooner。

Wehadanexcellentdinner，andattablehetalkedalmostentirelyofmyhousekeeper，andheseemedmovedwhenIsaidImeanttotakehertoLausannetohermother。Itookleaveofthematfiveo’clockwithabrokenheart，andfromthereIwenttoM。deChavigniandtoldhimallmyadventures。Hehadarighttobetold，ashehaddoneallinhispowertoinsurethesuccessofaprojectwhichhadonlyfailedbyanunexampledfatality。

InadmirationofmydearDubois’swit——forIdidnotconcealthepartsheplayedhesaidthatoldashewasheshouldthinkhimselfquitehappyifhehadsuchawomanwithhim，andhewasmuchpleasedwhenI

toldhimthatIwasinlovewithher。"Don’tgiveyourselfthetrouble，mydearCasanova，ofrunningfromhousetohousetotakeleave，"saidtheamiablenobleman。"Itcanbedonejustaswellattheassembly，andyouneednotevenstaytosupper，ifyoudon’twantto。"

Ifollowedhisadvice，andthussawagainMadameasIthought，forthelasttime，butIwaswrong；Isawhertenyearsafterwards；andatthepropertimethereaderwillseewhere，when，how，andunderwhatcircumstances。

Beforegoingaway，Ifollowedtheambassadortohisroomtothankhimashedeserved，forhiskindness，andtoaskhimtogivemealetterofintroductionforBerne，whereIthoughtofstayingafortnight。

IalsobeggedhimtosendLebeltomethatwemightsettleouraccounts。HetoldmethatLebelshouldbringmealetterforM。deMuralt，theMayorofThun。

WhenIgothome，feelingsadonthis，theeveofmyleavingatownwhereIhadbuttriflingvictoriesandheavylosses，Ithankedmyhousekeeperforwaitingforme，andtogiveheragoodnightItoldherthatinthreedaysweshouldsetoutforBerne，andthatmymailsmustbepacked。

Nextday，afterasomewhatsilentbreakfast，shesaid，——

"Youwilltakemewithyou，won’tyou？"

"Certainly，ifyoulikemewellenoughtowanttogo。"

"Iwouldgowithyoutotheendoftheworld，allthemoreasyouarenowsickandsad，andwhenIsawyoufirstyouwereblitheandwell。

IfImustleaveyou，Ihopeatleasttoseeyouhappyfirst。"

ThedoctorcameinjustthentotellmethatmypoorSpaniardwassoillthathecouldnotleavehisbed。

"IwillhavehimcuredatBerne，"saidI；"tellhimthatwearegoingtodinetherethedayafterto—morrow。"

"Imusttellyou，sir，thatthoughit’sonlyasevenleagues’

journey，hecannotpossiblyundertakeitashehaslosttheuseofallhislimbs。"

"Iamsorrytohearthat，doctor。"

"Idaresay，butit’strue。"

"Imustverifythematterwithmyowneyes；"andsosayingIwenttoseeLeDuc。

Ifoundthepoorrascal，asthedoctorhadsaid，incapableofmotion。

Hehadonlytheuseofhistongueandhiseyes。

"Youareinaprettystate，"saidItohim。

"Iamveryill，sir，thoughotherwiseIfeelquitewell。"

"Iexpectso，butasitisyoucan’tmove，andIwanttodineatBernethedayafterto—morrow。"

"Havemecarriedthere，Ishallgetcured。"

"Youareright，Iwillhaveyoucarriedinalitter。"

"Ishalllooklikeasaintoutforawalk。"

Itoldoneoftheservantstolookafterhim，andtoseetoallthatwasnecessaryforourdeparture。Ihadhimtakentothe"Falcon"bytwohorseswhodrewhislitter。

LebelcameatnoonandgavemetheletterhismasterhadwrittenforM。deMurat。HebroughthisreceiptsandIpaideverythingwithoutobjection，asIfoundhimanentirelyhonestman，andIhadhimtodinnerwithMadameDuboisandmyself。Ididnotfeeldisposedtotalk，andIwasgladtoseethattheygotonwithoutme；theytalkedawayadmirablyandamusedme，forLebelwasbynomeanswantinginwit。HesaidhewasverygladIhadgivenhimanopportunityofknowingthehousekeeper，ashecouldnotsayhehadknownherbefore，havingonlyseenhertwoorthreetimesinpassingthroughLausanne。

Onrisingfromthetableheaskedmypermissiontowritetoher，andshe，puttinginhervoice，calledonhimnottoforgettodoso。

Lebelwasagood—naturedman，ofanhonestappearance，andapproachinghisfiftiethyear。Justashewasgoing，withoutaskingmyleave，heembracedherintheFrenchfashion，andsheseemednottohavetheslightestobjection。

Shetoldmeassoonashewasgonethatthisworthymanmightbeusefultoher，andthatshewasdelightedtoenterintoacorrespondencewithhim。

Thenextdaywasspentinputtingeverythinginorderforourshortjourney，andLeDucwentoffinhislitter，intendingtorestforthenightatfourleaguesfromSoleure。Onthedayfollowing，afterI

hadrememberedthedoor—keeper，thecook，andtheman—servantIwasleavingbehind，IsetoutinmycarriagewiththecharmingDubois，andateleveno’clockIarrivedattheinnatBerne，whereLeDuchadprecededmebytwohours。Inthefirstplace，knowingthehabitsofSwissinnkeepers，Imadeanagreementwiththelandlord；andIthentoldtheservantIhadkept，whocamefromBerne，totakecareofLeDuc，toputhimundergoodmedicalsuperintendence，andtobidthedoctorsparenothingtocurehimcompletely。

Idinedwithmyhousekeeperinherroom，forshehadaseparatelodging，andaftersendingmylettertoM。deMuraltIwentoutforawalk。

CHAPTERXVII

Berne——LaMataMadamedelaSaone——Sara——MyDeparture——ArrivalatBaleIreachedanelevationfromwhichIcouldlookoveravaststretchofcountrywateredbyalittleriver，andnoticingapathleadingtoakindofstair，thefancytookmetofollowit。Iwentdownaboutahundredsteps，andfoundfortysmallclosetswhichIconcludedwerebathingmachines。WhileIwaslookingattheplaceanhonest—lookingfellowcameuptome，andaskedmeifIwouldlikeabath。IsaidI

would，andheopenedoneoftheclosets，andbeforelongIsurroundedbyacrowdofyounggirls。

"Sir，"saidtheman，"theyallaspiretothehonourofattendingyouwhileyoubathe；youhaveonlytochoosewhichitshallbe。Half—a—

crownwillpayforthebath，thegirl，andyourcoffee。"

AsifIweretheGrandTurk，Iexaminedtheswarmofrusticbeauties，andthrewmyhandkerchiefattheoneIlikedthebest。Wewentintoacloset，andshuttingthedoorwiththemostseriousair，withoutevenlookingatme，sheundressedme，andputacottoncaponmyhead，andassoonasshesawmeinthewatersheundressedherselfascoollyaspossible，andwithoutawordcameintothebath。Thensherubbedmeallover，exceptinacertainquarter，whichIhadcoveredwithmyhands。WhenIthoughtIhadbeenmanipulatedsufficiently，I

askedforcoffee。Shegotoutofthebath，openedthedoor，andafteraskingforwhatIwantedgotinagainwithouttheslightestconsciousness。

Whenthecoffeecameshegotoutagaintotakeit，shutthedoor，andreturnedtothebath，andheldthetraywhileIwasdrinking，andwhenIhadfinishedsheremainedbesideme。

AlthoughIhadtakennogreatnoticeofher，Icouldseethatshepossessedallthequalificationsamancoulddesireinawoman:finefeatures，livelyeyes，aprettymouth，andanexcellentrowofteeth，ahealthycomplexion，awell—roundedbosomacurvedback，andallelseinthesamesort。Icertainlythoughtherhandsmighthavebeensofter，buttheirhardnesswasprobablyduetohardwork。

Furthermore，shewasonlyeighteen，andyetIremainedcoldtoallhercharms。Howwasthat？ThatwasthequestionIaskedmyself；

andIthinkthereasonprobablywasthatshewastoonatural，toodevoidofthoseassumedgracesandcoquettishairswhichwomenemploywithsomuchartfortheseductionofmen。Weonlycareforartificeandfalseshow。Perhaps，too，oursenses，tobeirritated，requirewoman’scharmstobeveiledbymodesty。Butif，accustomedaswearetoclotheourselves，thefaceisthesmallestfactorinourperfecthappiness，howisitthatthefaceplaystheprincipalpartinrenderingamanamorous？Whydowetakethefaceasanindexofawoman’sbeauty，andwhydoweforgiveherwhenthecoveredpartsarenotinharmonywithherfeatures？Woulditnotbemuchmorereasonableandsensibletoveiltheface，andtohavetherestofthebodynaked？Thuswhenwefallinlovewithawoman，weshouldonlywant，asthecrownofourbliss，toseeafaceanswerabletothoseothercharmswhichhadtakenourfancy。Therecanbenodoubtthatthatwouldbethebetterplan，asinthatcaseweshouldonlybeseducedbyaperfectbeauty，andweshouldgrantaneasypardonifattheliftingofthemaskwefounduglinessinsteadofloveliness。

Underthosecircumstancesanuglywoman，happyinexercisingtheseductivepowerofherothercharms，wouldneverconsenttounveilherself；whiletheprettyoneswouldnothavetobeasked。Theplainwomenwouldnotmakeussighforlong；theywouldbeeasilysubduedontheconditionofremainingveiled，andiftheydidconsenttounmask，itwouldbeonlyaftertheyhadpracticallyconvincedonethatenjoymentispossiblewithoutfacialbeauty。Anditisevidentandundeniablethatinconstancyonlyproceedsfromthevarietyoffeatures。Ifamandidnotseetheface，hewouldalwaysbeconstantandalwaysinlovewiththefirstwomanwhohadtakenhisfancy。I

knowthatintheopinionofthefoolishallthiswillseemfolly，butIshallnotbeontheearthtoanswertheirobjections。

WhenIhadleftthebath，shewipedmewithtowels，putonmyshirt，andtheninthesamestate——thatis，quitenaked，shedidmyhair。

WhileIwasdressingshedressedherselftoo，andhavingsoonfinishedshecametobucklemyshoes。Ithengaveherhalf—a—crownforthebathandsixfrancsforherself；shekeptthehalf—crown，butgavemebackthesixfrancswithsilentcontempt。Iwasmortified；I

sawthatIhadoffendedher，andthatsheconsideredherbehaviourentitledhertorespect。Iwentawayinabadenoughhumour。

AftersupperIcouldnothelptellingmydearDuboisoftheadventureIhadhadintheafternoon，andshemadeherowncommentsonthedetails。"Shecan’thavebeenpretty，"saidshe，"forifshehadbeen，youwouldcertainlyhavegivenway。Ishouldliketoseeher。"

"IfyoulikeIwilltakeyouthere。"

"Ishouldbedelighted。"

"Butyouwillhavetodresslikeaman:"

Sherose，wentoutwithoutaword，andinaquarterofanhourreturnedinasuitofLeDuc’s，butminusthetrousers，asshehadcertainprotuberanceswhichwouldhavestoodouttoomuchItoldhertotakeapairofmybreeches，andwesettledtogotothebathnextmorning。

Shecametowakeatsixo’clock。Shewasdressedlikeaman，andworeablueovercoatwhichdisguisedhershapeadmirably。IroseandwenttoLaMata，astheplaceiscalled。

Animatedbythepleasuretheexpeditiongaveher，mydearDuboislookedradiant。Thosewhosawhermusthaveseenthroughherdisguise，shewassoevidentlyawoman；soshewrappedherselfupinherovercoataswellasshecould。

Assoonaswearrivedwesawthemasterofthebaths，whoaskedmeifIwantedaclosetforfour，andIrepliedintheaffirmative。Weweresoonsurroundedbythegirls，andIshewedmyhousekeepertheonewhohadnotseducedme；shemadechoiceofher，andIhavingfixeduponabig，determined—lookingwench，weshutourselvesupinthebath。

AssoonasIwasundressedIwentintothewaterwithmybigattendant。Myhousekeeperwasnotsoquick；thenoveltyofthethingastonishedher，andherexpressiontoldmethatsherepentedofhavingcome；butputtingagoodfaceonit，shebegantolaughatseeingmerubbedbythefemininegrenadier。Shehadsometroublebeforeshecouldtakeoffherchemise，butasitisonlythefirststepthatcosts，sheletitfalloff，andthoughsheheldhertwohandsbeforehershedazzledme，inspiteofmyself，bythebeautyofherform。Herattendantpreparedtotreatherasshehadtreatedme，butshebeggedtobeleftalone；andonmyfollowingherexampleshefeltobligedtoletmelookafterher。

ThetwoSwissgirls，whohadnodoubtoftenbeenpresentatasimilarsituation，begantogiveusaspectaclewhichwaswellknowntome，butwhichwasquitestrangetomydearDubois。

ThesetwoBacchantesbegantoimitatethecaressesIlavishedonmyhousekeeper，whowasquiteastonishedattheamorousfurywithwhichmyattendantplayedthepartofamanwiththeothergirl。IconfessIwasalittlesurprisedmyself，inspiteofthetransportswhichmyfairVenetiannunhadshewnmesixyearsbeforeinconjunctionwithC————C————。

Icouldnothaveimaginedthatanythingofthekindcouldhavedistractedmyattention，holding，asIdid，thewomanIloved，whosecharmsweresufficienttocaptivateallthesenses；butthestrangestrifeofthetwoyoungMenadstookupherattentionaswellasmine。

"Yourattendant，"saidshe，"mustbeaboy，notagirl。"

"But，"saidI，"yousawherbreasts。"

"Yes，butshemaybeaboyallthesame。"

ThebigSwissgirlwhohadheardwhatwehadsaidturnedroundandshewedmewhatIshouldnothavecredited。Therecouldbenomistake，however。Itwasafemininemembrane，butmuchlongerthanmylittlefinger，andstiffenoughtopenetrate。IexplainedtomydearDuboiswhatitwas，buttoconvinceherIhadtomakehertouchit。Theimpudentcreaturepushedhershamelessnesssofarastooffertotryitonher，andsheinsistedsopassionatelythatIwasobligedtopushheraway。Shethenturnedtohercompanionandsatiatedonherbodyherfuryoflust。Inspiteofitsdisgustingnature，thesightirritatedustosuchadegreethatmyhousekeeperyieldedtonatureandgrantedmeallIcoulddesire。

Thisentertainmentlastedfortwohours，andwereturnedtothetownwellpleasedwithoneanother。OnleavingthebathIgaveaLouistoeachofthetwoBacchantes，andwewentawaydeterminedtogotherenomore。Itwillbeunderstoodthatafterwhathadhappenedtherecouldbenofurtherobstacletothefreeprogressofourlove；andaccordinglymydearDuboisbecamemymistress，andwemadeeachotherhappyduringallthetimewespentatBerne。Iwasquitecuredofmymisadventurewiththehorriblewidow，andIfoundthatiflove’spleasuresarefleetingsoareitspains。Iwillgofartherandmaintainthatthepleasuresareofmuchlongerduration，astheyleavememorieswhichcanbeenjoyedinoldage，whereas，