第23章

Mydiseasewasnotacasewithintheprovinceofempirics，andI

bethoughtmyselfofconfidinginM。deisHayewhowasthendiningeverydaywithme，andmadenomysteryofhispoverty。Heplacedmeinthehandsofaskilfulsurgeon，whowasatthesametimeadentist。HerecognizedcertainsymptomswhichmadeitanecessitytosacrificemetothegodMercury，andthattreatment，owingtotheseasonoftheyear，compelledmetokeepmyroomforsixweeks。Itwasduringthewinterof1749。

WhileIwasthuscuringmyselfofanuglydisease，DelaHayeinoculatedmewithanotherasbad，perhapsevenworse，whichIshouldneverhavethoughtmyselfsusceptibleofcatching。ThisFleming，wholeftmeonlyforonehourinthemorning，togo——atleasthesaidso—

—tochurchtoperformhisdevotions，madeabigotofme！Andtosuchanextent，thatIagreedwithhimthatIwasindeedfortunatetohavecaughtadiseasewhichwastheoriginofthefaithnowtakingpossessionofmysoul。IwouldthankGodferventlyandwiththemostcompleteconvictionforhavingemployedMercurytoleadmymind，untilthenwrappedindarkness，tothepurelightofholytruth！

Thereisnodoubtthatsuchanextraordinarychangeinmyreasoningsystemwastheresultoftheexhaustionbroughtonbythemercury。

ThatimpureandalwaysinjuriousmetalhadweakenedmymindtosuchanextentthatIhadbecomealmostbesotted，andIfanciedthatuntilthenmyjudgmenthadbeeninsane。Theresultwasthat，inmynewlyacquiredwisdom，Itooktheresolutionofleadingatotallydifferentsortoflifeinfuture。DelaHayewouldoftencryforjoywhenhesawmesheddingtearscausedbythecontritionwhichhehadhadthewonderfulclevernesstosowinmypoorsicklysoul。Hewouldtalktomeofparadiseandtheotherworld，justasifhehadvisitedtheminperson，andIneverlaughedathim！Hehadaccustomedmetorenouncemyreason；nowtorenouncethatdivinefacultyamanmustnolongerbeconsciousofitsvalue，hemusthavebecomeanidiot。ThereadermayjudgeofthestatetowhichIwasreducedbythefollowingspecimen。Oneday，DelaHayesaidtome:

"ItisnotknownwhetherGodcreatedtheworldduringthevernalequinoxorduringtheautumnalone。"

"Creationbeinggranted，"Ireplied，inspiteofthemercury，"suchaquestionischildish，fortheseasonsarerelative，anddifferinthedifferentquartersoftheglobe。"

DelaHayereproachedmewiththeheathenismofmyideas，toldmethatImustabandonsuchimpiousreasonings……andIgaveway！

ThatmanhadbeenaJesuit。Henotonly，however，refusedtoadmitit，buthewouldnotevensufferanyonetomentionittohim。Thisishowhecompletedhisworkofseductionbytellingmethehistoryofhislife。

"AfterIhadbeeneducatedinagoodschool，"hesaid，"andhaddevotedmyselfwithsomesuccesstotheartsandsciences，IwasfortwentyyearsemployedattheUniversityofParis。AfterwardsI

servedasanengineerinthearmy，andsincethattimeIhavepublishedseveralworksanonymously，whicharenowinuseineveryboys’school。Havinggivenupthemilitaryservice，andbeingpoor，Iundertookandcompletedtheeducationofseveralyoungmen，someofwhomshinenowintheworldevenmorebytheirexcellentconductthanbytheirtalents。MylastpupilwastheMarquisBotta。NowbeingwithoutemploymentIlive，asyousee，trustinginGod’sprovidence。

Fouryearsago，ImadetheacquaintanceofBaronBavois，fromLausanne，sonofGeneralBavoiswhocommandedaregimentintheserviceoftheDukeofModem，andafterwardswasunfortunateenoughtomakehimselftooconspicuous。Theyoungbaron，aCalvinistlikehisfather，didnotliketheidlelifehewasleadingathome，andhesolicitedmetoundertakehiseducationinordertofithimforamilitarycareer。Delightedattheopportunityofcultivatinghisfinenaturaldisposition，Igaveupeverythingtodevotemyselfentirelytomytask。Isoondiscoveredthat，inthequestionoffaith，heknewhimselftobeinerror，andthatheremainedaCalvinistonlyoutofrespecttohisfamily。WhenIhadfoundouthissecretfeelingsonthathead，Ihadnodifficultyinprovingtohimthathismostimportantinterestswereinvolvedinthatquestion，ashiseternalsalvationwasatstake。Struckbythetruthofmywords，heabandonedhimselftomyaffection，andItookhimtoRome，whereIpresentedhimtothePope，BenedictXIV。，who，immediatelyaftertheabjurationofmypupilgothimalieutenancyinthearmyoftheDukeofModena。Butthedearproselyte，whoisonlytwenty—fiveyearsofage，cannotliveuponhispayofsevensequinsamonth，andsincehisabjurationhehasreceivednothingfromhisparents，whoarehighlyincensedatwhattheycallhisapostacy。HewouldfindhimselfcompelledtogobacktoLausanne，ifIdidnotassisthim。

But，alas！Iampoor，andwithoutemployment，soIcanonlysendhimthetriflingsumswhichIcanobtainfromthefewgoodChristianswithwhomIamacquainted。

"Mypupil，whoseheartisfullofgratitude，wouldbeverygladtoknowhisbenefactors，buttheyrefusetoacquainthimwiththeirnames，andtheyareright，becausecharity，inordertobemeritorious，mustnotpartakeofanyfeelingofvanity。ThankGod，Ihavenocauseforsuchafeeling！Iambuttoohappytoactasafathertowardsayoungsaint，andtohavehadashare，asthehumbleinstrumentoftheAlmighty，inthesalvationofhissoul。Thathandsomeandgoodyoungmantrustsnoonebutme，andwritestomeregularlytwiceaweek。Iamtoodiscreettocommunicatehisletterstoyou，but，ifyouweretoreadthem，theywouldmakeyouweepforsympathy。ItistohimthatIhavesentthethreegoldpieceswhichyougavemeyesterday。"

Ashesaidthelastwordsmyconverterrose，andwenttothewindowtodryhistears，Ifeltdeeplymoved，analfullofadmirationforthevirtueofDelaHayeandofhispupil，who，tosavehissoul，hadplacedhimselfunderthehardnecessityofacceptingalms。Icriedaswellastheapostle，andinmydawningpietyItoldhimthatI

insistednotonlyuponremainingunknowntohispupil，butalsouponignoringtheamountofthesumshemighttakeoutofmypursetoforwardtohim，andIthereforebeggedthathewouldhelphimselfwithoutrenderingmeanyaccount。DelaHayeembracedmewarmly，sayingthat，byfollowingthepreceptsoftheGospelsowell，I

shouldcertainlywinthekingdomofheaven。

Themindissuretofollowthebody；itisaprivilegeenjoyedbymatter。Withanemptystomach，Ibecameafanatic；andthehollowmadeinmybrainbythemercurybecamethehomeofenthusiasm。

WithoutmentioningittoDelaHaye，Iwrotetomythreefriends，Messrs。Bragadinandcompany，severallettersfullofpathosconcerningmyTartufeandhispupil，andImanagedtocommunicatemyfanaticismtothem。Youareaware，dearreader，thatnothingissocatchingastheplague；now，fanaticism，nomatterofwhatnature，isonlytheplagueofthehumanmind。

Imademyfriendstounderstandthatthegoodofoursocietydependedupontheadmissionofthesetwovirtuousindividuals。Iallowedthemtoguessit，but，havingmyselfbecameaJesuit，Itookcarenottosayitopenly。Itwouldofcoursebebetterifsuchanideaappearedtohaveemanatedfromthosemen，sosimple，andatthesametimesotrulyvirtuous。"ItisGod’swill，"Iwrotetothem（fordeceitmustalwaystakerefugeundertheprotectionofthatsacredname），"thatyouemployallyourinfluenceinVenicetofindanhonourablepositionforM。delaHaye，andtopromotetheinterestsofyoungM。Bavoisinhisprofession。"

M。deBragadinansweredthatDelaHayecouldtakeuphisquarterswithusinhispalace，andthatBavoiswastowritetohisprotector，thePope，entreatingHisHolinesstorecommendhimtotheambassadorofVenice，whowouldthenforwardthatrecommendationtotheSenate，andthatBavoiscould，inthatway，feelsureofgoodemployment。

TheaffairofthePatriarchateofAquileiawasatthattimeunderdiscussion；theRepublicofVenicewasinpossessionofitaswellastheEmperorofAustria，whoclaimedthe’juseligendi’:thePopeBenedictXIV。hadbeenchosenasarbitrator，andashehadnotyetgivenhisdecisionitwasevidentthattheRepublicwouldshewverygreatdeferencetohisrecommendation。

Whilethatimportantaffairwasenlistingalloursympathies，andwhiletheywereexpectinginVenicealetterstatingtheeffectofthePope’srecommendation，Iwastheheroofacomicadventurewhich，forthesakeofmyreaders，mustnotpassunnoticed。

AtthebeginningofAprilIwasentirelycuredofmylastmisfortune。

Ihadrecoveredallmyusualvigour，andIaccompaniedmyconvertertochurcheveryday，nevermissingasermon。Welikewisespenttheeveningtogetheratthecaf？wherewegenerallymetagreatmanyofficers。TherewasamongthemaProvencalwhoamusedeverybodywithhisboastingandwiththerecitalofthemilitaryexploitsbywhichhepretendedtohavedistinguishedhimselfintheserviceofseveralcountries，andprincipallyinSpain。Ashewastrulyasourceofamusement，everybodypretendedtobelievehiminordertokeepupthegame。OnedayasIwasstaringathim，heaskedmewhetherIknewhim。

"ByGeorge，sir！"——Iexclaimed，"knowyou！Why，didwenotfightsidebysideatthebattleofArbela？"

Atthosewordseverybodyburstoutlaughing，buttheboaster，nothingdaunted，said，withanimation，"Well，gentlemen，Idonotseeanythingsoverylaughableinthat。I

wasatthatbattle，andthereforethisgentlemanmightverywellhaveremarkedme；infact，IthinkIcanrecollecthim。"

And，continuingtospeaktome，henamedtheregimentinwhichwewerebrotherofficers。Ofcourseweembracedoneanother，congratulatingeachotheruponthepleasurewebothfeltinmeetingagaininParma。AfterthattrulycomicjokeIleftthecoffee—roominthecompanyofmyinseparablepreacher。

Thenextmorning，asIwasatbreakfastwithDelaHaye，theboastingProvencalenteredmyroomwithouttakingoffhishat，andsaid，"M。d’Arbela，Ihavesomethingofimportancetotellyou；makehasteandfollowme。Ifyouareafraid，youmaytakeanyoneyoupleasewithyou。Iamgoodforhalfadozenmen。"

Ileftmychair，seizedmypistols，andaimedathim。

"Noone，"Isaid，withdecision，"hastherighttocomeanddisturbmeinmyroom；beoffthisminute，orIblowyourbrainsout。"

Thefellow，drawinghissword，daredmetomurderhim，butatthesamemomentDelaHayethrewhimselfbetweenus，stampingviolentlyonthefloor。Thelandlordcameup，andthreatenedtheofficertosendforthepoliceifhedidnotwithdrawimmediately。

Hewentaway，sayingthatIhadinsultedhiminpublic，andthathewouldtakecarethatthereparationIowedhimshouldbeaspublicastheinsult。

Whenhehadgone，seeingthattheaffairmighttakeatragicturn，I

begantoexaminewithDelaHayehowitcouldbeavoided，butwehadnotlongtopuzzleourimagination，forinlessthanhalfanhouranofficeroftheInfanteofParmapresentedhimself，andrequestedmetorepairimmediatelytohead—quarters，whereM。deBertolan，CommanderofParma，wantedtospeaktome。

IaskedDelaHayetoaccompanymeasawitnessofwhatIhadsaidinthecoffee—roomaswellasofwhathadtakenplaceinmyapartment。

Ipresentedmyselfbeforethecommander，whomIfoundsurroundedbyseveralofficers，and，amongthem，thebraggingProvencal。

M。deBertolan，whowasawittyman，smiledwhenhesawme；then，withaveryseriouscountenance，hesaidtome，"Sir，asyouhavemadealaughing—stockofthisofficerinapublicplace，itisbutrightthatyoushouldgivehimpubliclythesatisfactionwhichheclaims，andascommanderofthiscityIfindmyselfboundindutytoaskyouforthatsatisfactioninordertosettletheaffairamicably。"

"Commander，"Ianswered，"Idonotseewhyasatisfactionshouldbeofferedtothisgentleman，foritisnottruethatIhaveinsultedhimbyturninghimintoridicule。ItoldhimthatIhadseenhimatthebattleofArbela，andIcouldnothaveanydoubtaboutitwhenhesaidthathehadbeenpresentatthatbattle，andthatheknewmeagain。"

"Yes，"interruptedtheofficer，"butIheardRodelaandnotArbela，andeverybodyknowsthatIfoughtatRodela。ButyousaidArbela，andcertainlywiththeintentionoflaughingatme，sincethatbattlehasbeenfoughtmorethantwothousandyearsago，whilethebattleofRodelainAfricatookplaceinourtime，andIwasthereundertheordersoftheDukedeMortemar。"

"Inthefirstplace，sir，youhavenorighttojudgeofmyintentions，butIdonotdisputeyourhavingbeenpresentatRodela，sinceyousayso；butinthatcasethetablesareturned，andnowI

demandareparationfromyouifyoudarediscreditmyhavingbeenatArbela。IcertainlydidnotserveundertheDukedeMortemar，becausehewasnotthere，atleasttomyknowledge，butIwasaid—de—

campofParmenion，andIwaswoundedunderhiseyes。Ifyouweretoaskmetoshewyouthescar，Icouldnotsatisfyyou，foryoumustunderstandthatthebodyIhadatthattimedoesnotexistanylonger，andinmypresentbodilyenvelopeIamonlytwenty—threeyearsold。"

"Allthisseemstomesheermadness，but，atallevents，Ihavewitnessestoprovethatyouhavebeenlaughingatme，foryoustatedthatyouhadseenmeatthatbattle，and，bythepowers！itisnotpossible，becauseIwasnotthere。Atallevents，Idemandsatisfaction。"

"SodoI，andwehaveequalrights，ifminearenotevenbetterthanyours，foryourwitnessesarelikewisemine，andthesegentlemenwillassertthatyousaidthatyouhadseenmeatRodela，and，bythepowers！itisnotpossible，forIwasnotthere。"

"Well，Imayhavemadeamistake。"

"SomayI，andthereforewehavenolongeranyclaimagainstoneanother。"

Thecommander，whowasbitinghislipstorestrainhismirth，saidtohim，"Mydearsir，Idonotseethatyouhavetheslightestrighttodemandsatisfaction，sincethisgentlemanconfesses，likeyou，thathemighthavebeenmistaken。"

"But，"remarkedtheofficer，"isitcrediblethathewasatthebattleofArbela？"

"Thisgentlemanleavesyoufreetobelieveornottobelieve，andheisatlibertytoassertthathewasthereuntilyoucanprovethecontrary。Doyouwishtodenyittomakehimdrawhissword？"

"Godforbid！Iwouldratherconsidertheaffairended。"

"Well，gentlemen，"saidthecommander，"Ihavebutonemoredutytoperform，anditistoadviseyoutoembraceoneanotherliketwohonestmen。"

Wefollowedtheadvicewithgreatpleasure。

Thenextday，theProvencal，rathercrestfallen，cametosharemydinner，andIgavehimafriendlywelcome。Thuswasendedthatcomicadventure，tothegreatsatisfactionofM。delaHaye。

CHAPTERIV

IReceiveGoodNewsFromVenice，toWhichCityIReturnwithDelaHayeandBavois——MyThreeFriendsGiveMeaWarmWelcome；TheirSurpriseatFindingMeaModelofDevotion——BavoisLuresMeBacktoMyFormerWayofLiving——DelaHayeaThoroughHypocrite——

AdventurewiththeGirlMarchetti——IWinaPrizeintheLottery——I

MeetBaletti——DelaHayeLeavesM。deBragadin’sPalace——MyDepartureforParisWhilstDelaHayewaseverydaygaininggreaterinfluenceovermyweakenedmind，whilstIwaseverydaydevoutlyattendingmass，sermons，andeveryofficeoftheChurch，IreceivedfromVenicealettercontainingthepleasantinformationthatmyaffairhadfolloweditsnaturalcourse，namely，thatitwasentirelyforgotten；

andinanotherletterM。deBragadininformedmethattheministerhadwrittentotheVenetianambassadorinRomewithinstructionstoassuretheHolyFatherthatBaronBavoiswould，immediatelyafterhisarrivalinVenice，receiveinthearmyoftheRepublicanappointmentwhichwouldenablehimtolivehonourablyandtogainahighpositionbyhistalents。

ThatletterovercameM。delaHayewithjoy，andIcompletedhishappinessbytellinghimthatnothinghinderedmefromgoingbacktomynativecity。

HeimmediatelymadeuphismindtogotoModenainordertoexplaintohispupilhowhewastoactinVenicetoopenforhimselfthewaytoabrilliantfortune。DelaHayedependedonmeineveryway；hesawmyfanaticism，andhewaswellawarethatitisadiseasewhichragesaslongasthecausesfromwhichithassprungareinexistence。AshewasgoingwithmetoVenice，heflatteredhimselfthathecouldeasilyfeedthefirehehadlighted。ThereforehewrotetoBavoisthathewouldjoinhimimmediately，andtwodaysafterhetookleaveofme，weepingabundantly，praisinghighlythevirtuesofmysoul，callingmehisson，hisdearson，andassuringmethathisgreataffectionformehadbeencausedbythemarkofelectionwhichhehadseenonmycountenance。Afterthat，Ifeltmycallingandelectionweresure。

AfewdaysafterthedepartureofDelaHaye，IleftParmainmycarriagewithwhichIpartedinFusina，andfromthereIproceededtoVenice。Afteranabsenceofayear，mythreefriendsreceivedmeasifIhadbeentheirguardianangel。Theyexpressedtheirimpatiencetowelcomethetwosaintsannouncedbymyletters。AnapartmentwasreadyforDelaHayeinthepalaceofM。deBragadin，andasstatereasonsdidnotallowmyfathertoreceiveinhisownhouseaforeignerwhohadnotyetenteredtheserviceoftheRepublic，tworoomshadbeenengagedforBavoisintheneighbourhood。

Theywerethoroughlyamazedatthewonderfulchangewhichhadtakenplaceinmymorals。Everydayattendingmass，oftenpresentatthepreachingandattheotherservices，nevershewingmyselfatthecasino，frequentingonlyacertaincaf？whichwastheplaceofmeetingforallmenofacknowledgedpietyandreserve，andalwaysstudyingwhenIwasnotintheircompany。Whentheycomparedmyactualmodeoflivingwiththeformerone，theymarvelled，andtheycouldnotsufficientlythanktheeternalprovidenceofGodwhoseinconceivablewaystheyadmired。Theyblessedthecriminalactionswhichhadcompelledmetoremainoneyearawayfrommynativeplace。

IcrownedtheirdelightbypayingallmydebtswithoutaskinganymoneyfromM。deBragadin，who，nothavinggivenmeanythingforoneyear，hadreligiouslyputtogethereverymonththesumhehadallowedme。Ineednotsayhowpleasedtheworthyfriendswere，whentheysawthatIhadentirelygivenupgambling。

IhadaletterfromDelaHayeinthebeginningofMay。Heannouncedthathewasontheeveofstartingwiththesonsodeartohisheart，andthathewouldsoonplacehimselfatthedispositionoftherespectablementowhomIhadannouncedhim。

KnowingthehouratwhichthebargearrivedfromModena，weallwenttomeetthem，exceptM。deBragadin，whowasengagedatthesenate。

Wereturnedtothepalacebeforehim，andwhenhecameback，findingusalltogether，hegavehisnewgueststhemostfriendlywelcome。

DelaHayespoketomeofahundredthings，butIscarcelyheardwhathesaid，somuchwasmyattentiontakenupbyBavois。HewassodifferenttowhatIhadfanciedhimtobefromtheimpressionIhadreceivedfromDelaHaye，thatmyideaswerealtogetherupset。Ihadtostudyhim；forthreedaysbeforeIcouldmakeupmymindtolikehim。Imustgivehisportraittomyreaders。

BaronBavoiswasayoungmanofabouttwenty—five，ofmiddlesize，handsomeinfeatures，wellmade，fair，ofanequabletemper，speakingwellandwithintelligence，andutteringhiswordswithatoneofmodestywhichsuitedhimexactly。Hisfeatureswereregularandpleasing，histeethwerebeautiful，hishairwaslongandfine，alwayswelltakencareof，andexhalingtheperfumeofthepomatumwithwhichitwasdressed。Thatindividual，whowastheexactoppositeofthemanthatDelaHayehadledmetoimagine，surprisedmyfriendsgreatly，buttheirwelcomedidnotinanywaybetraytheirastonishment，fortheirpureandcandidmindswouldnotadmitajudgmentcontrarytothegoodopiniontheyhadformedofhismorals。

AssoonaswehadestablishedDelaHayeinhisbeautifulapartment，IaccompaniedBavoistotheroomsengagedforhim，wherehisluggagehadbeensentbymyorders。Hefoundhimselfinverycomfortablequarters，andbeingreceivedwithdistinctionbyhisworthyhost，whowasalreadygreatlyprejudicedinhisfavour，theyoungbaronembracedmewarmly，pouringoutallhisgratitude，andassuringmethathefeltdeeplyallIhaddoneforhimwithoutknowinghim，asDelaHayehadinformedhimofallthathadoccurred。Ipretendednottounderstandwhathewasalludingto，andtochangethesubjectofconversationIaskedhimhowheintendedtooccupyhistimeinVeniceuntilhismilitaryappointmentgavehimseriousdutiestoperform。

"Itrust，"heanswered，"thatweshallenjoyourselvesinanagreeableway，forIhavenodoubtthatourinclinationsarethesame。"

MercuryandDelaHayehadsocompletelybesottedmethatIshouldhavefoundsomedifficultyinunderstandingthesewords，howeverintelligibletheywere；butifIdidnotgoanyfurtherthantheoutwardsignificationofhisanswer，Icouldnothelpremarkingthathehadalr