第94章

IspentanextremelypleasantfourmonthsatAugsburg，suppingtwiceorthriceaweekatCountLamberg’s。AtthesesuppersImadetheacquaintanceofaveryremarkableman——CountThuraandValsamina，thenapageintheprince—bishop’shousehold，nowDeanofRatisbon。Hewasalwaysatthecount’s，aswasalsoDr。Algardi，ofBologna，theprince’sphysicianandadelightfulman。

IoftensawatthesamehouseacertainBaronSellenthin，aPrussianofficer，whowasalwaysrecruitingforhismasteratAugsburg。Hewasapleasantman，somewhatintheGasconstyle，soft—spoken，andanexpertgamester。FiveorsixyearsagoIhadaletterfromhimdatedDresden，inwhichhesaidthatthoughhewasold，andhadmarriedarichwife，herepentedofhavingmarriedatall。IshouldsaythesameifIhadeverchancedtomarry。

DuringmystayatAugsburgseveralPoles，whohadlefttheircountryonaccountofthetroubles，cametoseeme。AmongstotherswasRzewuski，theroyalProthonotary，whomIhadknownatSt。PetersburgastheloverofpoorMadameLanglade。

"Whatadiet！Whatplots！Whatcounterplots！Whatmisfortunes！"saidthishonestPole，tome。"Happyaretheywhohavenothingtodowithit！"

HewasgoingtoSpa，andheassuredmethatifIfollowedhimIshouldfindPrinceAdam’ssister，Tomatis，andMadameCatai，whohadbecomethemanager’swife。IdeterminedtogotoSpa，andtotakemeasuressothatImightgotherewiththreeorfourhundredducatsinmypurse。TothisintentIwrotetoPrinceCharlesofCourland，whowasatVenice，tosendmeahundredducats，andinmyletterIgavehimaninfalliblereceiptforthephilosopher’sstone。Thelettercontainingthisvastsecretwasnotincypher，soIadvisedhimtoburnitafterhehadreadit，assuringhimthatIpossessedacopy。Hedidnotdoso，anditwastakentoPariswithhisorderpaperswhenhewassenttotheBastile。

IfithadnotbeenfortheRevolutionmyletterwouldneverhaveseenthelight。WhentheBastillewasdestroyed，myletterwasfoundandprintedwithothercuriouscompositions，whichwereafterwardstranslatedintoGermanandEnglish。TheignorantfoolsthataboundinthelandwheremyfatewillsthatIshouldwritedownthechiefeventsofmylongandtroublouslife——thesefools，Isay，whoarenaturallymyswornfoes（fortheassliesnotdownwiththehorse），makethisletteranarticleofaccusationagainstme，andthinktheycanstopmymouthbytellingmethattheletterhasbeentranslatedintoGerman，andremainstomyeternalshame。TheignorantBohemiansareastonishedwhenItellthemthatIregardtheletterasredoundingtomyglory，andthatiftheirearswerenotquitesolongtheirblamewouldbeturnedintopraise。

Idonotknowwhethermyletterhasbeencorrectlytranslated，butsinceithasbecomepublicpropertyIshallsetitdownhereinhomagetotruth，theonlygodIadore。IhavebeforemeanexactcopyoftheoriginalwritteninAugsburgintheyear1767，andwearenowintheyear1798。

Itrunsasfollows:

"MYLORD，——Ihopeyourhighnesswilleitherburnthisletterafterreadingit，orelsepreserveitwiththegreatestcare。Itwillbebetter，however，tomakeacopyincypher，andtoburntheoriginal。Myattachmenttoyouisnotmyonlymotiveinwriting；Iconfessmyinterestisequallyconcerned。AllowmetosaythatIdonotwishyourhighnesstoesteemmealoneforanyqualitiesyoumayhaveobservedinme；IwishyoutobecomemydebtorbytheinestimablesecretIamgoingtoconfidetoyou。Thissecretrelatestothemakingofgold，theonlythingofwhichyourhighnessstandsinneed。Ifyouhadbeenmiserlybynatureyouwouldberichnow；butyouaregenerous，andwillbepoorallyourdaysifyoudonotmakeuseofmysecret。

"YourhighnesstoldmeatRigathatyouwouldlikemetogiveyouthesecretbywhichItransmutedironintocopper；Ineverdidso，butnowI

shallteachyouhowtomakeamuchmoremarvelloustransmutation。I

shouldpointouttoyou，however，thatyouarenotatpresentinasuitableplacefortheoperation，althoughallthematerialsareeasilyprocurable。Theoperationnecessitatesmypresencefortheconstructionofafurnace，andforthegreatcarenecessary，fartheleastmistakewillspoilall。ThetransmutationofMarsisaneasyandmerelymechanicalprocess，butthatofgoldisphilosophicalinthehighestdegree。ThegoldproducedwillbeequaltothatusedintheVenetiansequins。Youmustreflect，mylord，thatIamgivingyouinformationwhichwillpermityoutodispensewithme，andyoumustalsoreflectthatIamconfidingtoyoumylifeandmyliberty。

"ThestepIamtakingshouldinsureyourlife—longprotection，andshouldraiseyouabovethatprejudicewhichisentertainedagainstthegeneralmassofalchemists。Myvanitywouldbewoundedifyourefusetodistinguishmefromthecommonherdofoperators。AllIaskyouisthatyouwillwaittillwemeetbeforeundertakingtheprocess。Youcannotdoitbyyourself，andifyouemployanyotherpersonbutmyself，youwillbetraythesecret。Imusttellyouthat，usingthesamematerials，andbytheadditionofmercuryandnitre，ImadethetreeofprojectionfortheMarchionessd’UrfeandthePrincessofAnhalt。Zerbstcalculatedtheprofitasfiftypercent。Myfortunewouldhavebeenmadelongago，ifI

hadfoundaprincewiththecontrolofamintwhomIcouldtrust。Yourcharacterenablesmetoconfideinyou。However，wewillcometothepoint。

"Youmusttakefourouncesofgoodsilver，dissolveinaquafortis，precipitatesecundumartemwithcopper，thenwashinlukewarmwatertoseparatetheacids；dry，mixwithhalfanounceofsalammoniac，andplaceinasuitablevessel。Afterwardsyoumusttakeapoundofalum，apoundofHungarycrystals，fourouncesofverdigris，fourouncesofcinnabar，andtwoouncesofsulphur。Pulveriseandmix，andplaceinaretortofsuchsizethattheabovematterswillonlyhalffillit。Thisretortmustbeplacedoverafurnacewithfourdraughts，fortheheatmustberaisedtothefourthdegree。Atfirstyourfiremustbeslowsoastoextractthegrossphlegmofthematter，andwhenthespiritbeginstoappear，placethereceiverundertheretort，andLunawiththeammoniacsaltswillappearinit。AllthejoiningsmustbelutedwiththePhilosophicalLuting，andasthespiritcomes，soregulateyourfurnace，butdonotletitpassthethirddegreeofheat。

"Sosoonasthesublimationbeginsthenboldlyopenyourforthvent，buttakeheedthatthatwhichissublimedpassnotintothereceiverwhereisyourLuna，andsoyoumustshut，themouthoftheretortclosely，andkeepitsofortwenty—fourhours，andthentakeoffyourfastenings，andallowthedistillationtogoon。Thenyoumustincreaseyourfiresothatthespiritsmaypass，over，untilthematterintheretortisquitedesiccated。Afterthisoperationhasbeenperformedthreetimes，thenyoushallsee，thegoldappearintheretort。Thendrawitforthandmeltit，addingyourcorpusperfectum。Meltwithittwoouncesofgold，thenlayitinwater，andyoushallfindfourouncesofpuregold。

"Suchmylord，isthegoldmineforyourmintofMitau，bywhich，withtheassistanceofamanagerandfourmen，youcanassureyourselfarevenueofathousandducatsaweek，anddouble，andquadruplethatsum，ifyourhighnesschoosestoincreasethemenandthefurnaces。Iaskyourhighnesstomakemeyourmanager。ButrememberitmustbeaStatesecret，soburnthisletter，andifyourhighnesswouldgivemeanyrewardinadvance，Ionlyaskyoutogivemeyouraffectionandesteem。

IshallbehappyifIhavereasontobelievethatmymasterwillalsobemyfriend。Mylife，whichthisletterplacesinyourpower，iseveratyourservice，andIknownotwhatIshalldoifIeverhavecausetorepenthavingdisclosedmysecret。Ihavethehonourtobe，etc。"

Inwhateverlanguagethislettermayhavebeentranslated，ifitssenserunnotasabove，itisnotmyletter，andIamreadytogivethelietoalltheMirabeausintheworld。Ihavebeencalledanexile，butwrongfully，foramanwhohastoleaveacountrybyvirtueofa’lettredecachet’isnoexile。Heisforcedtoobeyadespoticmonarchwholooksuponhiskingdomashishouse，andturnsoutofdoorsanyonewhomeetswithhisdispleasure。

Assoonasmypurseswelledtoarespectablesize，IleftAugsburg，ThedateofmydeparturewasJune14th，1767。IwasatUlmwhenacourieroftheDukeofWurtemburg’spassedthroughthetownwiththenewsthathishighnesswouldarrivefromVeniceinthecourseoffiveorsixdays。

Thiscourierhadaletterforme。IthadbeenentrustedtohimbyPrinceCharlesofCourland，whohadtoldthecourierthathewouldfindmeatthe"HotelduRaisin，"inAugsburg。Asithappened，Ihadleftthedaybefore，butknowingthewaybywhichIhadgonehecaughtmeupatUlm。

HegavemetheletterandaskedmeifIwerethesameCasanovawhohadbeenplacedunderarrestandhadescaped，onaccountofsomegamblingdisputewiththreeofficers。AsIwasneveranadeptinconcealingthetruth，Irepliedintheaffirmative。AWurtemburgofficerwhowasstandingbesideusobservedtomeinafriendlymannerthathewasatStuttgartatthetime，andthatmostpeopleconcurredinblamingthethreeofficersfortheirconductinthematter。

WithoutmakinganyreplyIreadtheletter，whichreferredtoourprivateaffairs，butasIwasreadingitIresolvedtotellalittlelie——oneofthoselieswhichdonobodyanyharm。

"Well，sir，"Isaidtotheofficer，"hishighness，yoursovereign，haslistenedtoreasonatlast，andthisletterinformsmeofareparationwhichisineverywaysatisfactory。Thedukehascreatedmehisprivatesecretary，withasalaryoftwelvehundredayear。ButIhavewaitedforitalongtime。Godknowswhathasbecomeofthethreeofficers！"

"TheyareallatLouisburg，and——————isnowacolonel。"

"Well，theywillbesurprisedtohearmynews，andtheywillhearitto—morrow，forIamleavingthisplaceinanhour。IftheyareatLouisburg，Ishallhaveatriumph；butIamsorrynottobeabletoaccompanyyou，howeverweshallseeeachotherthedayaftertomorrow。"

Ihadanexcellentnight，andawokewiththebeautifulideaofgoingtoLouisburg，nottofightthethreeofficersbuttofrightenthem，triumphoverthem，andtoenjoyapleasantvengeancefortheinjurytheyhaddoneme。Ishouldatthesametimeseeagoodmanyoldfriends；therewasMadameToscani，theduke’smistress；Baletti，andVestri，whohadmarriedaformermistressoftheduke’s。Ihadsoundedthedepthsofthehumanheart，andknewIhadnothingtofear。Thedukewasonthepointofreturning，andnobodywoulddreamofimpugningthetruthofmystory。

Whenheactuallydidarrivehewouldnotfindme，forassoonasthecourierannouncedhisapproachIshouldgoaway，tellingeverybodythatI

hadorderstoprecedehishighness，andeverybodywouldbeduped。

Ineverhadsopleasantanideabefore。Iwasquiteproudofit，andI

shouldhavedespisedmyselfifIhadfailedtocarryitintoeffect。Itwouldbemyvengeanceontheduke，whocouldnothaveforgottentheterribleletterIhadwrittenhim；forprincesdonotforgetsmallinjuriesastheyforgetgreatservices。

Isleptbadlythefollowingnight，myanxietywassogreat，andIreachedLouisburgandgavemynameatthetowngates，withouttheadditionofmypretendedoffice，formyjestmustbematuredbydegrees。Iwenttostayattheposting—inn，andjustasIwasaskingfortheaddressofMadameToscani，sheandherhusbandappearedonthescene。Theybothflungtheirarmsaroundmyneck，andoverwhelmedmewithcomplimentsonmywoundedarmandthevictoryIhadachieved。

"Whatvictory？"

"Yourappearanceherehasfilledtheheartsofallyourfriendswithjoy。"

"Well，Icertainlyamintheduke’sservice，buthowdidyoufinditout？"

"It’sthecommontalk。Thecourierwhogaveyoutheletterhasspreaditallabroad，andtheofficerwhowaspresentandarrivedhereyesterdaymorningconfirmedit。Butyoucannotimaginetheconsternationofyourthreefoes。However，weareafraidthatyouwillhavesometroublewiththem，astheyhavekeptyourletterofdefiancegivenfromFurstenberg。"

"Whydidn’ttheymeetme，then？"

"Twoofthemcouldnotgo，andthethirdarrivedtoolate。"

"Verygood。IfthedukehasnoobjectionIshallbehappytomeetthemoneafteranother，notthreeallatonce。Ofcourse，theduelmustbewithpistols；aswordduelisoutofthequestionwithmyarminasling。"

"Wewillspeakofthatagain。Mydaughterwantstomakepeacebeforethedukecomes，andyouhadbetterconsenttoarrangements，fortherearethreeofthem，anditisn’tlikelythatyoucouldkillthewholethreeoneaftertheother。"

"Yourdaughtermusthavegrownintoabeauty。"

"Youmuststopwithusthisevening；youwillseeher，forsheisnolongertheduke’smistress。Sheisgoingtogetmarried。"

"IfyourdaughtercanbringaboutanarrangementIwouldgladlyfallinwithit，provideditisanhonourableoneforme。"

"Howisitthatyouarewearingtheslingafterallthesemonths？"

"Iamquitecured，andyetmyarmswellsassoonasIletitswingloose。

Youshallseeitafterdinner，foryoumustdinewithmeifyouwantmetosupwithyou。"

NextcameVestri，whomIdidnotknow，accompainedbymybelovedBaletti。

WiththemwasanofficerwhowasinlovewithMadameToscani’sseconddaughter，andanotheroftheircircle，withwhomIwasalsounacquainted。

Theyallcametocongratulatemeonmyhonourablepositionintheduke’sservice。Balettiwasquiteovercomewithdelight。ThereaderwillrecollectthathewasmychiefassistantinmyescapefromStuttgart，andthatIwasoncegoingtomarryhissister。Balettiwasafinefellow，andthedukewasveryfondofhim。Hehadalittlecountryhouse，withaspareroom，whichhebeggedmetoaccept，ashesaidhewasonlytooproudthatthedukeshouldknowhimasmybestfriend。Whenhishighnesscame，ofcourseIwouldhaveanapartmentinthepalace。Iaccepted；andasitwasstillearly，weallwenttoseetheyoungToscani。IhadlovedherinParisbeforeherbeautyhadreacheditszenith，andshewasnaturallyproudtoshewmehowbeautifulshehadbecome。Sheshewedmeherhouseandherjewels，toldmethestoryofheramourswiththeduke，ofherbreakingwithhimonaccountofhisperpetualinfidelities，andofhermarriagewithamanshedespised，butwhowasforcedonherbyherposition。

Atdinner—timeweallwenttotheinn，wherewemettheoffendingcolonel；hewasthefirsttotakeoffhishat，wereturnedthesalute，andhepassedonhisway。

Thedinnerwasapleasantone，andwhenitwasoverIproceededtotakeupmyquarterswithBaletti。IntheeveningwewenttoMadameToscani’s，whereIsawtwogirlsofravishingbeauty，MadameToscani’sdaughterandVestri’swife，ofwhomthedukehadhadtwochildren。MadameVestriwasahandsomewoman，butherwitandthecharmofhermannerenchantedmestillmore。Shehadonlyonefault——shelisped。

TherewasacertainreserveaboutthemannerofMdlle。Toscani，soI

chieflyaddressedmyselftoMadameVestri，whosehusbandwasnotjealous，forheneithercaredforhernorsheforhim。Onthedayofmyarrivalthemanagerhaddistributedthepartsofalittleplaywhichwastobegiveninhonouroftheduke’sarrival。Ithadbeenwrittenbyalocalauthor，inhopesofitsobtainingthefavouroftheCourtforhim。

Aftersupperthelittlepiecewasdiscussed。MadameVestriplayedtheprincipalpart，whichshewasprevailedupontorecite。

"Yourelocutionisadmirable，andyourexpressionfullofspirit，"I

observed；"butwhatapityitisthatyoudonotpronouncethedentals。"

Thewholetablescoutedmyopinion。

"It’sabeauty，notadefect，"saidthey。"Itmakesheractingsoftanddelicate；otheractressesenvyhertheprivilegeofwhatyoucalladefect。"

Imadenoanswer，butlookedatMadameVestri。

"DoyouthinkIamtakeninbyallthat？"saidshe。

"Ithinkyouaremuchtoosensibletobelievesuchnonsense。"

"Ipreferamantosayhonestly，’whatapity，’thantohearallthatfoolishflattery。ButIamsorrytosaythatthereisnoremedyforthedefect。"

"Noremedy？"

"No。"

"Pardonme，Ihaveaninfallibleremedyforyourcomplaint。YoushallgivemeagoodheartyblowifIdonotmakeyoureadthepartperfectlybyto—morrow，butifIsucceedinmakingyoureaditasyourhusband，forexample’ssake，mightreadityoushallpermitmetogiveyouatenderembrace。"

"Verygood；butwhatmustIdo？"

"Youmustletmeweaveaspelloveryourpart，thatisall。Giveittome。To—morrowmorningatnineo’clockIwillbringittoyoutogetmyblowormykiss，ifyourhusbandhasnoobjection。"

"Nonewhatever；butwedonotbelieveinspells。"

"Youareright，inageneralway；butminewillnotfail。"

"Verygood。"

MadameVestrileftmethepart，andtheconversationturnedonothersubjects。Iwascondoledwithonmyswollenhand，andItoldthestoryofmyduel。Everybodyseemedtodelightinentertainingmeandfeastingme，andIwentbacktoBaletti’sinlovewithalltheladies，butespeciallywithMadameVestriandMdlle。Toscani。

Balettihadabeautifullittlegirlofthreeyearsold。

"Howdidyougetthatangel？"Iasked。

"There’shermother；and，asaproofofmyhospitality，sheshallsleepwithyouto—night。"

"Iacceptyourgenerousoffer；butletitbeto—morrownight。"

"Andwhynotto—night？"

"BecauseIshallbeengagedallnightinweavingmyspell。"

"Whatdoyoumean？Ithoughtthatwasajoke。"

"No，Iamquiteserious。"

"Areyoualittlecrazy？"

"Youshallsee。Doyougotobed，andleavemealightandwritingmaterials。"

Ispentsixhoursincopyingoutthepart，onlyalteringcertainphrases。

ForallwordsinwhichtheletterrappearedIsubstitutedanother。Itwasatiresometask，butIlongedtoembraceMadameVestribeforeherhusband。Isetaboutmytaskinthefollowingmanner:

Thetextran:

"Lesprocedesdecethommem’outragentetmedeseparent，jedoispenseramedebarrasser。"

ForthisIsubstituted:

"Cethommeadesfaconsquim’offensentetmedesolent，ilfautquejem’endefasse；"andsoonthroughoutthepiece。

WhenIhadfinishedIsleptforthreehours，andthenroseanddressed。

Balettisawmyspell，andsaidIhadearnedthecursesoftheyoungauthor，asMadameVestriwouldnodoubtmakehimwriteallpartsforherwithoutusingtheletter’r’；and，indeed，thatwasjustwhatshedid。

Icalledontheactressandfoundhergettingup。Igaveherthepart，andassoonasshesawwhatIhaddonesheburstoutintoexclamationsofdelight；andcallingherhusbandshewedhimmycontrivance，andsaidshewouldneverplayapartwithan’r’initagain。Ipromisedtocopythemallout，andaddedthat