第15章

IleftCorfuintheevening，andhavingagoodbreezeinmyfavour，I

reachedOtrantobyday—breakthefollowingmorning，withouttheoarsmenhavinghadtorowastroke。ThedistancefromCorfutoOtrantoisonlyaboutfifteenleagues。

Ihadnoideaoflanding，owingtothequarantinewhichisalwaysenforcedforanyshiporboatcomingtoItalyfromtheeast。Ionlywenttotheparlourofthelazaretto，where，placedbehindagrating，youcanspeaktoanypersonwhocalls，andwhomuststandbehindanothergratingplacedopposite，atadistanceofsixfeet。

AssoonasIannouncedthatIhadcomeforthepurposeofengagingatroupeofactorstoperforminCorfu，themanagersofthetwocompaniestheninOtrantocametotheparlourtospeaktome。ItoldthematoncethatIwishedtoseealltheperformers，onecompanyatatime。

Thetworivalmanagersgavemethenaverycomicscene，eachmanagerwantingtheothertobringhistroupefirst。Theharbour—mastertoldmethattheonlywaytosettlethematterwastosaymyselfwhichofthetwocompaniesIwouldseefirst:onewasfromNaples，theotherfromSicily。NotknowingeitherIgavethepreferencetothefirst。

DonFastidio，themanager，wasveryvexed，whileBattipaglia，thedirectorofthesecond，wasdelightedbecausehehopedthat，afterseeingtheNeapolitantroupe，Iwouldengagehisown。

Anhourafterwards，Fastidioreturnedwithallhisperformers，andmysurprisemaybeimaginedwhenamongstthemIrecognizedPetronioandhissisterMarina，who，themomentshesawme，screamedforjoy，jumpedoverthegrating，andthrewherselfinmyarms。Aterriblehubbubfollowed，andhighwordspassedbetweenFastidioandtheharbour—master。MarinabeingintheserviceofFastidio，thecaptaincompelledhimtoconfinehertothelazaretto，whereshewouldhavetoperformquarantineathisexpense。Thepoorgirlcriedbitterly，butIcouldnotremedyherimprudence。

IputastoptothequarrelbytellingFastidiotoshewmeallhispeople，oneaftertheother。Petroniobelongedtohiscompany，andperformedthelovers。HetoldmethathehadaletterformefromTherese。IwasalsogladtoseeaVenetianofmyacquaintancewhoplayedthepantalooninthepantomime，threetolerablyprettyactresses，apulcinella，andascaramouch。Altogether，thetroupewasadecentone。

ItoldFastidiotonamethelowestsalaryhewantedforallhiscompany，assuringhimthatIwouldgivethepreferencetohisrival，ifheshouldaskmetoomuch。

"Sir，"heanswered，"wearetwenty，andshallrequiresixroomswithtenbeds，onesitting—roomforallofus，andthirtyNeapolitanducatsaday，alltravellingexpensespaid。Hereismystockofplays，andwewillperformthosethatyoumaychoose。"

ThinkingofpoorMarinawhowouldhavetoremaininthelazarettobeforeshecouldreappearonthestageatOtranto，ItoldFastidiotogetthecontractready，asIwantedtogoawayimmediately。

Ihadscarcelypronouncedthesewordsthanwarbrokeoutagainbetweenthemanager—electandhisunfortunatecompetitor。

Battipaglia，inhisrage，calledMarinaaharlot，andsaidthatshehadarrangedbeforehandwithFastidiotoviolatetherulesofthelazarettoinordertocompelmetochoosetheirtroupe。Petronio，takinghissister’spart，joinedFastidio，andtheunluckyBattipagliawasdraggedoutsideandtreatedtoagenerousdoseofblowsandfisticuffs，whichwasnotexactlythethingtoconsolehimforalostengagement。

Soonafterwards，PetroniobroughtmeTherese’sletter。Shewasruiningtheduke，gettingrichaccordingly，andwaitingformeinNaples。

Everythingbeingreadytowardsevening，IleftOtrantowithtwentyactors，andsixlargetrunkscontainingtheircompletewardrobes。A

lightbreezewhichwasblowingfromthesouthmighthavecarriedustoCorfuintenhours，butwhenwehadsailedaboutonehourmycayabouchiriinformedmethathecouldseebythemoonlightashipwhichmightprovetobeacorsair，andgetholdofus。Iwasunwillingtoriskanything，soIorderedthemtolowerthesailsandreturntoOtranto。Atday—breakwesailedagainwithagoodwesterlywind，whichwouldalsohavetakenustoCorfu；butafterwehadgonetwoorthreehours，thecaptainpointedouttomeabrigantine，evidentlyapirate，forshewasshapinghercoursesoastogettowindwardofus。Itoldhimtochangethecourse，andtogobystarboard，toseeifthebrigantinewouldfollowus，butsheimmediatelyimitatedourmanoeuvre。IcouldnotgobacktoOtranto，andIhadnowishtogotoAfrica，soIorderedthementoshapeourcourse，soastolandonthecoastofCalabria，byhardrowingandatthenearestpoint。Thesailors，whowerefrightenedtodeath，communicatedtheirfearstomycomedians，andsoonIheardnothingbutweepingandsobbing。Everyoneofthemwascallingearnestlyuponsomesaint，butnotonesingleprayertoGoddidIhear。Thebewailingsofscaramouch，thedullandspiritlessdespairofFastidio，offeredapicturewhichwouldhavemademelaughheartilyifthedangerhadbeenimaginaryandnotreal。Marinaalonewascheerfulandhappy，becauseshedidnotrealizethedangerwewererunning，andshelaughedattheterrorofthecrewandofhercompanions。

Astrongbreezespranguptowardsevening，soIorderedthemtoclaponallsailandscudbeforethewind，evenifitshouldgetstronger。

Inordertoescapethepirate，Ihadmadeupmymindtocrossthegulf。Wetookthewindthroughthenight，andinthemorningwewereeightymilesfromCorfu，whichIdeterminedtoreachbyrowing。Wewereinthemiddleofthegulf，andthesailorswerewornoutwithfatigue，butIhadnolongeranyfear。Agalebegantoblowfromthenorth，andinlessthananhouritwasblowingsohardthatwewerecompelledtosailclosetothewindinafearfulmanner。Thefeluccalookedeverymomentasifitmustcapsize。Everyonelookedterrifiedbutkeptcompletesilence，forIhadenjoineditonpenaltyofdeath。Inspiteofourdangerousposition，IcouldnothelplaughingwhenIheardthesobsofthecowardlyscaramouch。Thehelmsmanwasamanofgreatnerve，andthegalebeingsteadyIfeltwewouldreachCorfuwithoutmishap。Atday—breakwesightedthetown，andatnineinthemorningwelandedatMandrachia。Everybodywassurprisedtoseeusarrivethatway。

Assoonasmycompanywaslanded，theyoungofficersnaturallycametoinspecttheactresses，buttheydidnotfindthemverydesirable，withtheexceptionofMarina，whoreceiveduncomplaininglythenewsthatIcouldnotrenewmyacquaintancewithher。Ifeltcertainthatshewouldnotlackadmirers。Butmyactresses，whohadappeareduglyatthelanding，producedaverydifferenteffectonthestage，andparticularlythepantaloon’swife。M。Duodo，commanderofaman—of—

war，calleduponher，and，findingmasterpantaloonintolerantonthesubjectofhisbetter—half，gavehimafewblowswithhiscane。

Fastidioinformedmethenextdaythatthepantaloonandhiswiferefusedtoperformanymore，butImadethemaltertheirmindbygivingthemabenefitnight。

Thepantaloon’swifewasmuchapplauded，butshefeltinsultedbecause，inthemidstoftheapplause，thepitcalledout，"Bravo，Duodo！"Shepresentedherselftothegeneralinhisownbox，inwhichIwasgenerally，andcomplainedofthemannerinwhichshewastreated。Thegeneralpromisedher，inmyname，anotherbenefitnightforthecloseofthecarnival，andIwasofcoursecompelledtoratifyhispromise。Thefactis，that，tosatisfythegreedyactors，Iabandonedtomycomedians，onebyone，theseventeennightsIhadreservedformyself。ThebenefitIgavetoMarinawasatthespecialrequestofMadameF————，whohadtakenherintogreatfavoursinceshehadhadthehonourofbreakfastingalonewithM。D————R————inavillaoutsideofthecity。

Mygenerositycostmefourhundredsequins，butthefarobankbroughtmeathousandandmore，althoughIneverheldthecards，mymanagementofthetheatretakingupallmytime。Mymannerwiththeactressesgainedmegreatkindness；itwasclearlyseenthatI

carriedonnointriguewithanyofthem，althoughIhadeveryfacilityfordoingso。MadameF————complimentedme，sayingthatshehadnotentertainedsuchagoodopinionofmydiscretion。Iwastoobusythroughthecarnivaltothinkoflove，evenofthepassionwhichfilledmyheart。ItwasonlyatthebeginningofLent，andafterthedepartureofthecomedians，thatIcouldgivereintomyfeelings。

OnemorningMadameF————sent，amessengerwho，summonedmetoherpresence。Itwaseleveno’clock；Iimmediatelywenttoher，andenquiredwhatIcoulddoforherservice。

"Iwantedtoseeyou，"shesaid，"toreturnthetwohundredsequinswhichyoulentmesonobly。Heretheyare；begoodenoughtogivemebackmynoteofhand。"

"Yournoteofhand，madam，isnolongerinmypossession。Ihavedepositeditinasealedenvelopewiththenotarywho，accordingtothisreceiptofhis，canreturnitonlytoyou。"

"Whydidyounotkeepityourself？"

"BecauseIwasafraidoflosingit，orofhavingitstolen。AndintheeventofmydeathIdidnotwantsuchadocumenttofallintoanyotherhandsbutyours。"

"Agreatproofofyourextremedelicacy，certainly，butIthinkyououghttohavereservedtherightoftakingitoutofthenotary’scustodyyourself。"

"Ididnotforseethepossibilityofcallingforitmyself。"

"Yetitwasaverylikelything。ThenIcansendwordtothenotarytotransmitittome？"

"Certainly，madam；youalonecanclaimit。"

Shesenttothenotary，whobroughtthehimself。

Shetoretheenvelopeopen，andfoundonlyapieceofpaperbesmearedwithink，quiteillegible，exceptherownname，whichhadnotbeentouched。

"Youhaveacted，"shesaid，"mostnobly；butyoumustagreewithmethatIcannotbecertainthatthispieceofpaperisreallymynoteofhand，althoughIseemynameonit。"

"True，madam；andifyouarenotcertainofit，Iconfessmyselfinthewrong。"

"Imustbecertainofit，andIamso；butyoumustgrantthatI

couldnotsweartoit。"

"Granted，madam。"

Duringthefollowingdaysitstruckmethathermannertowardsmewassingularlyaltered。Sheneverreceivedmeinherdishabille，andI

hadtowaitwithgreatpatienceuntilhermaidhadentirelydressedherbeforebeingadmittedintoherpresence。

IfIrelatedanystory，anyadventure，shepretenednottounderstand，andaffectednottoseethepointofananecdoteorajest；veryoftenshewouldpurposelynotlookatme，andthenIwassuretorelatebadly。IfM。D————R—————laughedatsomethingIhadjustsaid，shewouldaskwhathewaslaughingfor，andwhenhehadtoldher，shewouldsayitwasinsipidordull。Ifoneofherbraceletsbecameunfastened，Iofferedtofastenitagain，buteithershewouldnotgivemesomuchtrouble，orIdidnotunderstandthefastening，andthemaidwascalledtodoit。Icouldnothelpshewingmyvexation，butshedidnotseemtotaketheslightestnoticeofit。IfM。D————R—————excitedmetosaysomethingamusingorwitty，andIdidnotspeakimmediately，shewouldsaythatmybudgetwasempty，laughing，andaddingthatthewitofpoorM。Casanovawaswornout。Fullofrage，Iwouldpleadguiltybymysilencetohertauntingaccusation，butIwasthoroughlymiserable，forIdidnotseeanycauseforthatextraordinarychangeinherfeelings，beingconsciousthatIhadnotgivenheranymotiveforit。

Iwantedtoshewheropenlymyindifferenceandcontempt，butwheneveranopportunityoffered，mycouragewouldforsakeme，andI

wouldletitescape。

OneeveningM。D————R—————askingmewhetherIhadoftenbeeninlove，Ianswered，"Threetimes，mylord。"

"Andalwayshappily，ofcourse。"

"Alwaysunhappily。Thefirsttime，perhaps，because，beinganecclesiastic，Idurstnotspeakopenlyofmylove。Thesecond，becauseacruel，unexpectedeventcompelledmetoleavethewomanI

lovedattheverymomentinwhichmyhappinesswouldhavebeencomplete。Thethirdtime，becausethefeelingofpity，withwhichI

inspiredthebelovedobject，inducedhertocuremeofmypassion，insteadofcrowningmyfelicity。"

"Butwhatspecificremediesdidsheusetoeffectyourcure？"

"Shehasceasedtobekind。"

"Iunderstandshehastreatedyoucruelly，andyoucallthatpity，doyou？Youaremistaken。"

"Certainly，"saidMadameF————，"awomanmaypitythemansheloves，butshewouldnotthinkofill—treatinghimtocurehimofhispassion。Thatwomanhasneverfeltanyloveforyou。"

"Icannot，Iwillnotbelieveit，madam。"

"Butareyoucured？"

"Oh！thoroughly；forwhenIhappentothinkofher，Ifeelnothingbutindifferenceandcoldness。Butmyrecoverywaslong。"

"Yourconvalescencelasted，Isuppose，untilyoufellinlovewithanother。"

"Withanother，madam？IthoughtIhadjusttoldyouthatthethirdtimeIlovedwasthelast。"

Afewdaysafterthatconversation，M。D————R—————toldmethatMadameF————wasnotwell，thathecouldnotkeephercompany，andthatIoughttogotoher，ashewassureshewouldbegladtoseeme。Iobeyed，andtoldMadameF————whatM。D————R—————hadsaid。

Shewaslyingonasofa。Withoutlookingatme，shetoldmeshewasfeverish，andwouldnotaskmetoremainwithher，becauseIwouldfeelweary。

"Icouldnotexperienceanywearinessinyoursociety，madam；atallevents，Icanleaveyouonlybyyourexpresscommand，and，inthatcase，Imustspendthenextfourhoursinyourante—room，forM。D———

R—————hastoldmetowaitforhimhere。"

"Ifso，youmaytakeaseat。"

Hercoldanddistantmannerrepelledme，butIlovedher，andIhadneverseenhersobeautiful，aslightfeveranimatinghercomplexionwhichwasthentrulydazzlinginitsbeauty。IkeptwhereIwas，dumbandasmotionlessasastatue，foraquarterofanhour。Thensherangforhermaid，andaskedmetoleaveheraloneforamoment。

Iwascalledbacksoonafter，andshesaidtome，"Whathasbecomeofyourcheerfulness？"

"Ifithasdisappeared，madam，itcanonlybebyyourwill。Callitback，andyouwillseeitreturninfullforce。"

"WhatmustIdotoobtainthatresult？"

"OnlybetowardsmeasyouwerewhenIreturnedfromCasopo。Ihavebeendisagreeabletoyouforthelastfourmonths，andasIdonotknowwhy，Ifeeldeeplygrieved。"

"Iamalwaysthesame:inwhatdoyoufindmechanged？"

"Goodheavens！Ineverything，exceptinbeauty。ButIhavetakenmydecision。"

"Andwhatisit？"

"Tosufferinsilence，withoutallowinganycircumstancetoalterthefeelingswithwhichyouhaveinspiredme；towishardentlytoconvinceyouofmyperfectobediencetoyourcommands；tobeeverreadytogiveyoufreshproofsofmydevotion。"

"Ithankyou，butIcannotimaginewhatyoucanhavetosufferinsilenceonmyaccount。Itakeaninterestinyou，andIalwayslistenwithpleasuretoyouradventures。Asaproofofit，Iamextremelycurioustohearthehistoryofyourthreeloves。"

Iinventedonthespotthreepurelyimaginarystories，makingagreatdisplayoftendersentimentsandofardentlove，butwithoutalludingtoamorousenjoyment，particularlywhensheseemedtoexpectmetodoso。Sometimesdelicacy，sometimesrespectorduty，interferedtopreventthecrowningpleasure，andItookcaretoobserve，atsuchmomentsofdisappointment，thatatrueloverdoesnotrequirethatallimportantitemtofeelperfectlyhappy。Icouldeasilyseethatherimaginationwastravellingfartherthanmynarrative，andthatmyreservewasagreeabletoher。IbelievedIknewhernaturewellenoughtobecertainthatIwastakingthebestroadtoinducehertofollowmewhereIwishedtoleadher。Sheexpressedasentimentwhichmovedmedeeply，butIwascarefulnottoshewit。Weweretalkingofmythirdlove，ofthewomanwho，outofpity，hadundertakentocureme，andsheremarked，"Ifshetrulylovedyou，shemayhavewishednottocureyou，buttocureherself。"

Onthedayfollowingthispartialreconciliation，M。F————，herhusband，beggedmycommandingofficer，D————R—————，toletmegowithhimtoButintroforanexcursionofthreedays，hisownadjutantbeingseriouslyill。

ButintroissevenmilesfromCorfu，almostoppositetothatcity；itisthenearestpointtotheislandfromthemainland。Itisnotafortress，butonlyasmallvillageofEpirus，orAlbania，asitisnowcalled，andbelongingtotheVenetians。Actingonthepoliticalaxiomthat"neglectedrightislostright，"theRepublicsendseveryyearfourgalleystoButintrowithagangofgalleyslavestofelltrees，cutthem，andloadthemonthegalleys，whilethemilitarykeepasharplook—outtopreventthemfromescapingtoTurkeyandbecomingMussulmans。OneofthefourgalleyswascommandedbyM。

F————who，wantinganadjutantfortheoccasion，choseme。

Iwentwithhim，andonthefourthdaywecamebacktoCorfuwithalargeprovisionofwood。IfoundM。D————R————aloneontheterraceofhispalace。ItwasGoodFriday。Heseemedthoughtful，and，afterasilenceofafewminutes，hespokethefollowingwords，whichIcanneverforget:

"M。F—————，whoseadjutantdiedyesterday，hasjustbeenentreatingmetogiveyoutohimuntilhecanfindanotherofficer。IhavetoldhimthatIhadnorighttodisposeofyourperson，andthathe，oughttoapplytoyou，assuringhimthat，ifyouaskedmeleavetogowithhim，Iwouldnotraiseanyobjection，althoughIrequiretwoadjutants。Hashenotmentionedthemattertoyou？"

"No，monsignor，hehasonlytenderedmehisthanksforhavingaccompaniedhimtoButintro，nothingelse。"

"Heissuretospeaktoyouaboutit。Whatdoyouintendtosay？"

"SimplythatIwillneverleavetheserviceofyourexcellencywithoutyourexpresscommandtodoso。"

"Ineverwillgiveyousuchanorder。"

AsM。D————R————wassayingthelastword，M。andMadameF————camein。Knowingthattheconversationwouldmostlikelyturnuponthesubjectwhichhadjustbeenbroached，Ihurriedoutoftheroom。InlessthanaquarterofanhourIwassentfor，andM。F————saidtome，confidentially，"Well，M。Casanova，wouldyounotbewillingtolivewithmeasmyadjutant？"

"Doeshisexcellencydismissmefromhisservice？"

"Notatall，"observedM。D————R————，"butIleaveyouthechoice。"

"Mylord，Icouldnotbeguiltyofingratitude。"

AndIremainedtherestanding，uneasy，keepingmyeyesontheground，notevenstrivingtoconcealmymortification，whichwas，afterall，verynaturalinsuchaposition。IdreadedlookingatMadameF————，forIknewthatshecouldeasilyguessallmyfeelings。Aninstantafter，herfoolishhusbandcoldlyremarkedthatIshouldcertainlyhaveamorefatiguingservicewithhimthanwithM。D————R————，andthat，ofcourse，itwasmorehonourabletoservethegeneralgovernorofthegaleazzethanasimplesopra—committo。Iwasonthepointofanswering，whenMadameF————said，inagracefulandeasymanner，"M。Casanovaisright，"andshechangedthesubject。Ilefttheroom，revolvinginmymindallthathadjusttakenplace。

MyconclusionwasthatM。F————hadaskedM。D————R————toletmegowithhimatthesuggestionofhiswife，or，atleastwithherconsent，anditwashighlyflatteringtomyloveandtomyvanity。

ButIwasboundinhonournottoacceptthepost，unlessIhadaperfectassurancethatitwouldnotbedisagreeabletomypresentpatron。"Iwillaccept，"Isaidtomyself，"ifM。D————R—————tellsmepositivelythatIshallpleasehimbydoingso。ItisforM。Ftomakehimsayit。"

OnthesamenightIhadthehonourofofferingmyarmtoMadameF———

duringtheprocessionwhichtakesplaceincommemorationofthedeathofourLordandSaviour，whichwasthenattendedonfootbyallthenobility。Iexpectedshewouldmentionthematter，butshedidnot。

Mylovewasindespair，andthroughthenightIcouldnotclosemyeyes。Ifearedshehadbeenoffendedbymyrefusal，andwasoverwhelmedwithgrief。Ipassedthewholeofthenextdaywithoutbreakingmyfast，anddidnotutterasinglewordduringtheeveningreception。Ifeltveryunwell，andIhadanattackoffeverwhichkeptmeinbedonEasterSunday。IwasveryweakontheMonday，andintendedtoremaininmyroom，whenamessengerfromMadameF————

cametoinformmethatshewishedtoseeme。Itoldthemessengernottosaythathehadfoundmeinbed，anddressingmyselfrapidlyI

hurriedtoherhouse。Ienteredherroom，pale，lookingveryill:

yetshedidnotenquireaftermyhealth，andkeptsilentaminuteortwo，asifshehadbeentryingtorecollectwhatshehadtosaytome。

"Ah！yes，youareawarethatouradjutantisdead，andthatwewanttoreplacehim。Myhusband，whohasagreatesteemforyou，andfeelsthatM。D————R—————leavesyouperfectlyfreetomakeyourchoice，hastakenthesingularfancythatyouwillcome，ifIaskyoumyselftodousthatpleasure。Ishemistaken？Ifyouwouldcometous，youwouldhavethatroom。"

Shewaspointingtoaroomadjoiningthechamberinwhichsheslept，andsosituatedthat，toseeherineverypartofherroom，Ishouldnotevenrequiretoplacemyselfatthewindow。

"M。D————R—————，"shecontinued，"willnotloveyouless，andashewillseeyouhereevery，day，hewillnotbelikelytoforgethisinterestinyourwelfare。Now，tellme，willyoucomeornot？"

"IwishIcould，madam，butindeedIcannot。"

"Youcannot？Thatissingular。Takeaseat，andtellmewhatthereistopreventyou，when，inacceptingmyoffer，youaresuretopleaseM。D————R—————aswellasus。"

"IfIwerecertainofit，Iwouldacceptimmediately；butallIhaveheardfromhislipswasthatheleftmefreetomakeachoice。"

"Thenyouareafraidtogrievehim，ifyoucometous？"

"Itmightbe，andfornothingonearth……"

"Iamcertainofthecontrary。"

"Willyoubesogoodastoobtainthathesayssotomehimself？"

"Andthenyouwillcome？"

"Oh，madam！thatveryminute！"

Butthewarmthofmyexclamationmightmeanagreatdeal，andI

turnedmyheadroundsoasnottoembarrassher。Sheaskedmetogiveherhermantletogotochurch，andwewentout。Asweweregoingdownthestairs，sheplacedherunglovedhanduponmine。Itwasthefirsttimethatshehadgrantedmesuchafavour，anditseemedtomeagoodomen。Shetookoffherhand，askingmewhetherI

wasfeverish。"Yourhand，"shesaid，"isburning。"

Whenweleftthechurch，M。D————R—————’scarriagehappenedtopass，andIassistedhertogetin，andassoonasshehadgone，hurriedtomyroominordertobreathefreelyandtoenjoyallthefelicitywhichfilledmysoul；forInolongerdoubtedherloveforme，andI

knewthat，inthiscase，M。D————R—————wasnotlikelytorefuseheranything。

Whatislove？Ihavereadplentyofancientverbiageonthatsubject，Ihavereadlikewisemostofwhathasbeensaidbymodernwriters，butneitherallthathasbeensaid，norwhatIhavethoughtaboutit，whenIwasyoungandnowthatIamnolongerso，nothing，infact，canmakemeagreethatloveisatriflingvanity。Itisasortofmadness，Igrantthat，butamadnessoverwhichphilosophyisentirelypowerless；itisadiseasetowhichmanisexposedatalltimes，nomatteratwhatage，andwhichcannotbecured，ifheisattackedbyitinhisoldage。Lovebeingsentimentwhichcannotbeexplained！Godofallnature！——bitterandsweetfeeling！Love！——

charmingmonsterwhichcannotbefathomed！Godwho，inthemidstofallthethornswithwhichthouplaguestus，strewestsomanyrosesonourpaththat，withoutthee，existenceanddeathwouldbeunitedandblendedtogether！

Twodaysafterwards，M。D————R—————，toldmetogoandtakeordersfromM。F————onboardhisgalley，whichwasreadyforafiveorsixdays’voyage。Iquicklypackedafewthings，andcalledformynewpatronwhoreceivedmewithgreatjoy。Wetookourdeparturewithoutseeingmadam，whowasnotyetvisible。Wereturnedonthesixthday，andIwenttoestablishmyselfinmynewhome，for，asIwaspreparingtogotoM。D————R—————，totakehisorders，afterourlanding，hecamehimself，andafteraskingM。F————andmewhetherwewerepleasedwitheachother，hesaidtome，"Casanova，asyousuiteachothersowell，youmaybecertainthatyouwillgreatlypleasemebyremainingintheserviceofM。F。"

Iobeyedrespectfully，andinlessthanonehourIhadtakenpossessionofmynewquarters。MadameF————toldmehowdelightedshewastoseethatgreataffairendedaccordingtoherwishes，andI

answeredwithadeepreverence。

Ifoundmyselflikethesalamander，intheveryheartofthefireforwhichIhadbeenlongingsoardently。

AlmostconstantlyinthepresenceofMadameF————，diningoftenalonewithher，accompanyingherinherwalks，evenwhenM。D————R—————

wasnotwithus，seeingherfrommyroom，orconversingwithherinherchamber，alwaysreservedandattentivewithoutpretension，thefirstnightpassedbywithoutanychangebeingbroughtaboutbythatconstantintercourse。YetIwasfullofhope，andtokeepupmycourageIimaginedthatlovewasnotyetpowerfulenoughtoconquerherpride。Iexpectedeverythingfromsomeluckychance，whichI

promisedmyselftoimproveassoonasitshouldpresentitself，forI

waspersuadedthataloverislostifhedoesnotcatchfortunebytheforelock。

Buttherewasonecircumstancewhichannoyedme。Inpublic，sheseizedeveryopportunityoftreatingmewithdistinction，while，whenwewerealone，itwasexactlythereverse。IntheeyesoftheworldIhadalltheappearanceofahappylover，butIwouldratherhavehadlessoftheappearanceofhappinessandmoreofthereality。Myloveforherwasdisinterested；vanityhadnoshareinmyfeelings。

Oneday，beingalonewithme，shesaid，"Youhaveenemies，butIsilencedthemlastnight。"

"Theyareenvious，madam，andtheywouldpitymeiftheycouldreadthesecretpagesofmyheart。Youcouldeasilydelivermefromthoseenemies。"

"Howcanyoubeanobjectofpityforthem，andhowcouldIdeliveryoufromthem？"

"Theybelievemehappy，andIammiserable；youwoulddelivermefromthembyill—treatingmeintheirpresence。"

"Thenyouwouldfeelmybadtreatmentlessthantheenvyofthewicked？"

"Yes，madam，providedyourbadtreatmentinpublicwerecompensatedbyyourkindnesswhenwearealone，forthereisnovanityinthehappinessIfeelinbelongingtoyou。Letotherspityme，Iwillbehappyonconditionthatothersaremistaken。"

"That’sapartthatIcanneverplay。"

Iwouldoftenbeindiscreetenoughtoremainbehindthecurtainofthewindowinmyroom，lookingatherwhenshethoughtherselfperfectlycertainthatnobodysawher；butthelibertyIwasthusguiltyofneverprovedofgreatadvantagetome。Whetheritwasbecauseshedoubtedmydiscretionorfromhabitualreserve，shewassoparticularthat，evenwhenIsawherinbed，mylongingeyesnevercouldobtainasightofanythingbutherhead。

Oneday，beingpresentinherroomwhilehermaidwascuttingoffthepointsofherlongandbeautifulhair，Iamusedmyselfinpickingupallthoseprettybits，andputthemall，oneaftertheother，onhertoilettable，withtheexceptionofonesmalllockwhichIslippedintomypocket，thinkingthatshehadnottakenanynoticeofmykeepingit；butthemomentwewerealoneshetoldmequietly，butrathertooseriously，totakeoutofmypocketthehairIhadpickedupfromthefloor。Thinkingshewasgoingtoofar，andsuchrigourappearingtomeascruelasitwasunjustandabsurd，Iobeyed，butthrewthehaironthetoilet—tablewithanairofsupremecontempt。

"Sir，youforgetyourself。"

"No，madam，Idonot，foryoumighthavefeignednottohaveobservedsuchaninnocenttheft。"

"Feigningistiresome。"

"Wassuchpettylarcenyaverygreatcrime？"

"Nocrime，butitwasanindicationoffeelingswhichyouhavenorighttoentertainforme。"

"Feelingswhichyouareatlibertynottoreturn，madam，butwhichhatredorpridecanaloneforbidmyhearttoexperience。Ifyouhadaheartyouwouldnotbethevictimofeitherofthosetwofearfulpassions，butyouhaveonlyhead，anditmustbeaverywickedhead，judgingbythecareittakestoheaphumiliationuponme。Youhavesurprisedmysecret，madam，youmayuseitasyouthinkproper，butinthemeantimeIhavelearnedtoknowyouthoroughly。Thatknowledgewillprovemoreusefulthanyourdiscovery，forperhapsitwillhelpmetobecomewiser。"

AfterthisviolenttiradeIlefther，andasshedidnotcallmebackretiredtomyroom。Inthehopethatsleepwouldbringcalm，I

undressedandwenttobed。Insuchmomentsaloverhatestheobjectofhislove，andhisheartdistilsonlycontemptandhatred。Icouldnotgotosleep，andwhenIwassentforatsupper—timeIansweredthatIwasill。Thenightpassedoffwithoutmyeyesbeingvisitedbysleep，andfeelingweakandlowIthoughtIwouldwaittoseewhatailedme，andrefusedtohavemydinner，sendingwordthatIwasstillveryunwell。TowardseveningIfeltmyheartleapforjoywhenIheardmybeautifullady—loveentermyroom。Anxiety，wantoffoodandsleep，gavemetrulytheappearanceofbeingill，andIwasdelightedthatitshouldbeso。Isentherawayverysoon，bytellingherwithperfectindifferencethatitwasnothingbutabadheadache，towhichIwassubject，andthatreposeanddietwouldeffectaspeedycure。

Butateleveno’clockshecamebackwithherfriend，M。D————R—————，andcomingtomybedshesaid，affectionately，"Whatailsyou，mypoorCasanova？"

"Averybadheadache，madam，whichwillbecuredto—morrow。"

"Whyshouldyouwaituntilto—morrow？Youmustgetbetteratonce。

Ihaveorderedabasinofbrothandtwonew—laideggsforyou。"

"Nothing，madam；completeabstinencecanalonecureme。"

"Heisright，"saidM。D————R—————，"Iknowthoseattacks。"

Ishookmyheadslightly。M。D————R—————havingjustthenturnedroundtoexamineanengraving，shetookmyhand，sayingthatshewouldlikemetodrinksomebroth，andIfeltthatshewasgivingmeasmallparcel。ShewenttolookattheengravingwithM。D————

R—————。

Iopenedtheparcel，butfeelingthatitcontainedhair，Ihurriedlyconcealeditunderthebed—clothes:atthesamemomentthebloodrushedtomyheadwithsuchviolencethatitactuallyfrightenedme。

Ibeggedforsomewater，shecametome，withM。D————R—————，andthenwerebothfrightenedtoseemesored，whentheyhadseenmepaleandweakonlyoneminutebefore。

MadameF————gavemeaglassofwaterinwhichsheputsomeEaudescarmeswhichinstantlyactedasaviolentemetic。TwoorthreeminutesafterIfeltbetter，andaskedforsomethingtoeat。MadameF————smiled。Theservantcameinwiththebrothandtheeggs，andwhileIwaseatingItoldthehistoryofPandolfin。M。D————R—————

thoughtitwasallamiracle，andIcouldread，onthecountenanceofthecharmingwoman，love，affection，andrepentance。IfM。D————

R—————hadnotbeenpresent，itwouldhavebeenthemomentofmyhappiness，butIfeltcertainthatIshouldnothavelongtowait。

M。D————R—————toldMadameF————that，ifhehadnotseenmesosick，hewouldhavebelievedmyillnesstobeallsham，forhedidnotthinkitpossibleforanyonetorallysorapidly。

"ItisallowingtomyEaudescarmes，"saidMadameF—————，lookingatme，"andIwillleaveyoumybottle。"

"No，madam，bekindenoughtotakeitwithyou，forthewaterwouldhavenovirtuewithoutyourpresence。"

"Iamsureofthat，"saidM。D————R—————，"soIwillleaveyouherewithyourpatient。"

"No，no，hemustgotosleepnow。"

Isleptallnight，butinmyhappydreamsIwaswithher，andtherealityitselfwouldhardlyhaveprocuredmegreaterenjoymentthanI

hadduringmyhappyslumbers。IsawIhadtakenaverylongstrideforward，fortwenty—fourhoursofabstinencegavemetherighttospeaktoheropenlyofmylove，andthegiftofherhairwasanirrefutableconfessionofherownfeelings。

Onthefollowingday，afterpresentingmyselfbeforeM。F————，Iwenttohavealittlechatwiththemaid，towaituntilhermistresswasvisible，whichwasnotlong，andIhadthepleasureofhearingherlaughwhenthemaidtoldherIwasthere。AssoonasIwentin，withoutgivingmetimetosayasingleword，shetoldmehowdelightedshewastoseemelookingsowell，andadvisedmetocalluponM。D————R—————。

Itisnotonlyintheeyesofalover，butalsointhoseofeverymanoftaste，thatawomanisathousandtimesmorelovelyatthemomentshecomesoutofthearmsofMorpheusthanwhenshehascompletedhertoilet。AroundMadameF————morebrilliantbeamswereblazingthanaroundthesunwhenheleavestheembraceofAurora。Yetthemostbeautifulwomanthinksasmuchofhertoiletastheonewhocannotdowithoutit——，verylikelybecausemorehumancreaturespossessthemoretheywant。

IntheordergiventomebyMadameF————tocallonM。D————R—————，Isawanotherreasontobecertainofapproachinghappiness，forI

thoughtthat，bydismissingmesoquickly，shehadonlytriedtopostponetheconsummationwhichImighthavepresseduponher，andwhichshecouldnothaverefused。

Richinthepossessionofherhair，IheldaconsultationwithmylovetodecidewhatIoughttodowithit，forMadameF————，verylikelyinherwishtoatoneforthemiserlysentimentwhichhadrefusedmeasmallbit，hadgivenmeasplendidlock，fullayardandahalflong。Havingthoughtitover，IcalleduponaJewishconfectionerwhosedaughterwasaskilfulembroiderer，andImadeherembroiderbeforeme，onabraceletofgreensatin，thefourinitiallettersofournames，andmakeaverythinchainwiththeremainder。

Ihadapieceofblackribbonaddedtooneendofthechain，intheshapeofaslidingnoose，withwhichIcouldeasilystranglemyselfifeverloveshouldreducemetodespair，andIpasseditroundmyneck。AsIdidnotwanttoloseeventhesmallestparticleofsopreciousatreasure，Icutwithapairofscissorsallthesmallbitswhichwereleft，anddevoutlygatheredthemtogether。ThenIreducedthemintoafinepowder，andorderedtheJewishconfectionertomixthepowderinmypresencewithapastemadeofamber，sugar，vanilla，angelica，alkermesandstorax，andIwaiteduntilthecomfitspreparedwiththatmixturewereready。Ihadsomemoremadewiththesamecomposition，butwithoutanyhair；Iputthefirstinabeautifulsweetmeatboxoffinecrystal，andthesecondinatortoise—shellbox。

>Fromthedaywhen，bygivingmeherhair，MadameF————hadbetrayedthesecretfeelingsofherheart，Inolongerlostmytimeinrelatingstoriesoradventures。；Ionlyspoketoherofmycove，ofmyardentdesires；Itoldherthatshemusteitherbanishmefromherpresence，orcrownmyhappiness，butthecruel，charmingwomanwouldnotacceptthatalternative。Sheansweredthathappinesscouldnotbeobtainedbyoffendingeverymorallaw，andbyswervingfromourduties。IfIthrewmyselfatherfeettoobtainbyanticipationherforgivenessforthelovingviolenceIintendedtouseagainsther，shewouldrepulsememorepowerfullythanifshehadhadthestrengthofafemaleHercules，forshewouldsay，inavoicefullofsweetnessandaffection，"Myfriend，Idonotentreatyoutorespectmyweakness，butbegenerousenoughtosparemeforthesakeofalltheloveIfeelforyou。"

"What！youloveme，andyourefusetomakemehappy！Itisimpossible！itisunnatural。Youcompelmetobelievethatyoudonotloveme。Onlyallowmetopressmylipsonemomentuponyourlips，andIasknomore。"

"No，dearest，no；itwouldonlyexcitetheardourofyourdesires，shakemyresolution，andweshouldthenfindourselvesmoremiserablethanwearenow。"

Thusdidsheeverydayplungemeindespair，andyetshecomplainedthatmywitwasnolongerbrilliantinsociety，thatIhadlostthatelasticityofspiritswhichhadpleasedhersomuchaftermyarrivalfromConstantinople。M。D————R—————，whooftenjestinglywagedwaragainstme，usedtosaythatIwasgettingthinnerandthinnereveryday。MadameF————toldmeonedaythatmysicklylookswereverydisagreeabletoher，becausewickedtongueswouldnotfailtosaythatshetreatedmewithcruelty。Strange，almostunnaturalthought！

OnitIcomposedanidyllwhichIcannotread，evennow，withoutfeelingtearsinmyeyes。

"What！"Ianswered，"youacknowledgeyourcrueltytowardsme？Youareafraidoftheworldguessingallyourheartlessrigour，andyetyoucontinuetoenjoyit！YoucondemnmeunmercifullytothetormentsofTantalus！Youwouldbedelightedtoseemegay，cheerful，happy，evenattheexpenseofajudgmentbywhichtheworldwouldfindyouguiltyofasupposedbutfalsekindnesstowardsme，andyetyourefusemeeventheslightestfavours！"

"Idonotmindpeoplebelievinganything，provideditisnottrue。"

"Whatacontrast！Woulditbepossibleformenottoloveyou，foryoutofeelnothingforme？Suchcontradictionsstrikemeasunnatural。Butyouaregrowingthinneryourself，andIamdying。Itmustbeso；weshallbothdiebeforelong，youofconsumption，Iofexhaustingdecline；forIamnowreducedtoenjoyingyourshadowduringtheday，duringthenight，always，everywhere，exceptwhenI

aminyourpresence。"

Atthatpassionatedeclaration，deliveredwithalltheardourofanexcitedlover，shewassurprised，deeplymoved，andIthoughtthatthehappyhourhadstruck。Ifoldedherinmyarms，andwasalreadytastingthefirstfruitsofenjoyment……Thesentinelknockedtwice！……Oh！fatalmischance！Irecoveredmycomposureandstoodinfrontofher……M。D————R—————madehisappearance，andthistimehefoundmeinsocheerfulamoodthatheremainedwithusuntiloneo’clockinthemorning。

Mycomfitswerebeginningtobethetalkofoursociety。M。D————

R—————，MadameF————，andIweretheonlyoneswhohadaboxfullofthem。Iwasstingywiththem，andnoonedurstbeganyfromme，becauseIhadsaidthattheywereveryexpensive，andthatinallCorfutherewasnoconfectionerwhocouldmakeorphysicianwhocouldanalysethem。Inevergaveoneoutofmycrystalbox，andMadameF。

remarkedit。Icertainlydidnotbelievethemtobeamorousphiltre，andIwasveryfarfromsupposingthattheadditionofthehairmadethemtastemoredelicious；butasuperstition，theoffspringofmylove，causedmetocherishthem，anditmademehappytothinkthatasmallportionofthewomanIworshippedwasthusbecomingapartofmybeing。

Influencedperhapsbysomesecretsympathy，MadameF。wasexceedinglyfondofthecomfits。Sheassertedbeforeallherfriendsthattheyweretheuniversalpanacea，andknowingherselfperfectmistressoftheinventor，shedidnotenquireafterthesecretofthecomposition。ButhavingobservedthatIgaveawayonlythecomfitswhichIkeptinmytortoise—shellbox，andthatInevereatanybutthosefromthecrystalbox，sheonedayaskedmewhatreasonIhadforthat。Withouttakingtimetothink，ItoldherthatinthoseI

keptformyselftherewasacertainingredientwhichmadethepartakerloveher。

"Idonotbelieveit，"sheanswered；"butaretheydifferentfromthoseIeatmyself？"

"Theyareexactlythesame，withtheexceptionoftheingredientI

havejustmentioned，whichhasbeenputonlyinmine。"

"Tellmewhattheingredientis。"

"ItisasecretwhichIcannotrevealtoyou。"

"ThenIwillnevereatanyofyourcomfits。"

Sayingwhich，sherose，emptiedherbox，andfilleditagainwithchocolatedrops；andforthenextfewdaysshewasangrywithme，andavoidedmycompany。Ifeltgrieved，Ibecamelow—spirited，butI

couldnotmakeupmymindtotellherthatIwaseatingherhair！

SheenquiredwhyIlookedsosad。

"Becauseyourefusetotakemycomfits。"

"Youaremasterofyoursecret，andIammistressofmydiet。"

"Thatismyrewardforhavingtakenyouintomyconfidence。"

AndIopenedmybox，emptieditscontentsinmyhand，andswallowedthewholeofthem，saying，"Twomoredoseslikethis，andIshalldiemadwithloveforyou。Thenyouwillberevengedformyreserve。

Farewell，madam。"

Shecalledmeback，mademetakeaseatnearher，andtoldmenottocommitfollieswhichwouldmakeherunhappy；thatIknewhowmuchshelovedme，andthatitwasnotowingtotheeffectofanydrug。"Toprovetoyou，"sheadded，"thatyoudonotrequireanythingofthesorttobeloved，hereisatokenofmyaffection。"Andsheofferedmeherlovelylips，anduponthemmineremainedpresseduntilIwascompelledtodrawabreath。Ithrewmyselfatherfeet，withtearsofloveandgratitudeblindingmyeyes，andtoldherthatIwouldconfessmycrime，ifshewouldpromisetoforgiveme。

"Yourcrime！Youfrightenme。Yes，Iforgiveyou，butspeakquickly，andtellmeall。"

"Yes，everything。Mycomfitscontainyourhairreducedtoapowder。

Hereonmyarm，seethisbraceletonwhichournamesarewrittenwithyourhair，androundmyneckthischainofthesamematerial，whichwillhelpmetodestroymyownlifewhenyourlovefailsme。Suchismycrime，butIwouldnothavebeenguiltyofit，ifIhadnotlovedyou。"

Shesmiled，and，biddingmerisefrommykneelingposition，shetoldmethatIwasindeedthemostcriminalofmen，andshewipedawaymytears，assuringmethatIshouldneverhaveanyreasontostranglemyselfwiththechain。

Afterthatconversation，inwhichIhadenjoyedthesweetnectarofmydivinity’sfirstkiss，Ihadthecouragetobehaveinaverydifferentmanner。Shecouldseetheardourwhichconsumedme；

perhapsthesamefireburnedinherveins，butIabstainedfromanyattack。

"Whatgivesyou，"shesaidoneday，"thestrengthtocontrolyourself？"

"Afterthekisswhichyougrantedtomeofyourownaccord，IfeltthatIoughtnottowishanyfavourunlessyourheartgaveitasfreely。Youcannotimaginethehappinessthatkisshasgivenme。"

"Inotimagineit，youungratefulman！Whichofushasgiventhathappiness？"

"NeitheryounorI，angelofmysoul！Thatkisssotender，sosweet，wasthechildoflove！"

"Yes，dearest，oflove，thetreasuresofwhichareinexhaustible。"

Thewordswerescarcelyspoken，whenourlipswereengagedinhappyconcert。SheheldmesotightagainstherbosomthatIcouldnotusemyhandstosecureotherpleasures，butIfeltmyselfperfectlyhappy。Afterthatdelightfulskirmish，Iaskedherwhetherwewerenevertogoanyfurther。

"Never，dearestfriend，never。Loveisachildwhichmustbeamusedwithtrifles；toosubstantialfoodwouldkillit。"

"Iknowlovebetterthanyou；itrequiresthatsubstantialfood，andunlessitcanobtainit，lovediesofexhaustion。Donotrefusemetheconsolationofhope。"

"Hopeasmuchasyouplease，ifitmakesyouhappy。"

"WhatshouldIdo，ifIhadnohope？Ihope，becauseIknowyouhaveaheart。"

"Ah！yes。Doyourecollecttheday，when，inyouranger，youtoldmethatIhadonlyahead，butnoheart，thinkingyouwereinsultingmegrossly！"

"Oh！yes，Irecollectit。"

"HowheartilyIlaughed，whenIhadtimetothink！Yes，dearest，I

haveaheart，orIshouldnotfeelashappyasIfeelnow。Letuskeepourhappiness，andbesatisfiedwithit，asitis，withoutwishingforanythingmore。"

Obedienttoherwishes，buteverydaymoredeeplyenamoured，Iwasinhopethatnatureatlastwouldprovestrongerthanprejudice，andwouldcauseafortunatecrisis。But，besidesnature，fortunewasmyfriend，andIowedmyhappinesstoanaccident。

MadameF。waswalkingonedayinthegarden，leaningonM。D————

R—————’sarm，andwascaughtbyalargerose—bush，andthepricklythornsleftadeepcutonherleg。M。D————R—————bandagedthewoundwithhishandkerchief，soastostopthebloodwhichwasflowingabundantly，andshehadtobecarriedhomeinapalanquin。

InCorfu，woundsonthelegsaredangerouswhentheyarenotwellattendedto，andveryoftenthewoundedarecompelledtoleavethecitytobecured。

MadameF—————wasconfinedtoherbed，andmyluckypositioninthehousecondemnedmetoremainconstantlyatherorders。Isawhereveryminute；but，duringthefirstthreedays，visitorssucceededeachotherwithoutintermission，andIneverwasalonewithher。Intheevening，aftereverybodyhadgone，andherhusbandhadretiredtohisownapartment，M。D————R—————remainedanotherhour，andforthesakeofproprietyIhadtotakemyleaveatthesametimethathedid。Ihadmuchmorelibertybeforetheaccident，andItoldhersohalfseriously，halfjestingly。Thenextday，tomakeupformydisappointment，shecontrivedamomentofhappinessforme。

Anelderlysurgeoncameeverymorningtodressherwound，duringwhichoperationhermaidonlywaspresent，butIusedtogo，inmymorningdishabille，tothegirl’sroom，andtowaitthere，soastobethefirsttohearhowmydearonewas。

Thatmorning，thegirlcametotellmetogoinasthesurgeonwasdressingthewound。

"See，whethermylegislessinflamed。"

"Togiveanopinion，madam，Ioughttohaveseenityesterday。"

"True。Ifeelgreatpain，andIamafraidoferysipelas。"

"Donotbeafraid，madam，"saidthesurgeon，"keepyourbed，andI

answerforyourcompleterecovery。"

Thesurgeonbeingbusypreparingapoulticeattheotherendoftheroom，andthemaidout，Ienquiredwhethershefeltanyhardnessinthecalfoftheleg，andwhethertheinflammationwentupthelimb；

andnaturally，myeyesandmyhandskeptpacewithmyquestions……

Isawnoinflammation，Ifeltnohardness，but……andthelovelypatienthurriedlyletthecurtainfall，smiling，andallowingmetotakeasweetkiss，theperfumeofwhichIhadnotenjoyedformanydays。Itwasasweetmoment；adeliciousecstacy。Fromhermouthmylipsdescendedtoherwound，andsatisfiedinthatmomentthatmykisseswerethebestofmedicines，Iwouldhavekeptmylipsthere，ifthenoisemadebythemaidcomingbackhadnotcompelledmetogiveupmydelightfuloccupation。

Whenwewereleftalone，burningwithintensedesires，Ientreatedhertogranthappinessatleasttomyeyes。

"Ifeelhumiliated，"Isaidtoher，"bythethoughtthatthefelicityIhavejustenjoyedwasonlyatheft。"

"Butsupposingyouweremistaken？"

ThenextdayIwasagainpresentatthedressingofthewound，andassoonasthesurgeonhadleft，sheaskedmetoarrangeherpillows，whichIdidatonce。Asiftomakethatpleasantofficeeasier，sheraisedthebedclothestosupportherself，andshethusgavemeasightofbeautieswhichintoxicatedmyeyes，andIprotractedtheeasyoperationwithouthercomplainingofmybeingtooslow。

WhenIhaddoneIwasinafearfulstate，andIthrewmyselfinanarm—chairoppositeherbed，halfdead，inasortoftrance。Iwaslookingatthatlovelybeingwho，almostartless，wascontinuallygrantingmegreaterandstillgreaterfavours，andyetneverallowedmetoreachthegoalforwhichIwassoardentlylonging。

"Whatareyouthinkingof？"shesaid。

"OfthesupremefelicityIhavejustbeenenjoying。"

"Youareacruelman。"

"No，Iamnotcruel，for，ifyouloveme，youmustnotblushforyourindulgence。Youmustknow，too，that，lovingyoupassionately，I

mustnotsupposethatitistobeasurprisethatIamindebtedformyhappinessintheenjoymentofthemostravishingsights，forifI

oweditonlytomerechanceIshouldbecompelledtobelievethatanyothermaninmypositionmighthavehadthesamehappiness，andsuchanideawouldbemiserytome。LetmebeindebtedtoyouforhavingprovedtomethismorninghowmuchenjoymentIcanderivefromoneofmysenses。Canyoubeangrywithmyeyes？"

"Yes。"

"Theybelongtoyou；tearthemout。"

Thenextday，themomentthedoctorhadgone，shesenthermaidouttomakesomepurchases。

"Ah！"shesaidafewminutesafter，"mymaidhasforgottentochangemychemise。"

"Allowmetotakeherplace。"

"Verywell，butrecollectthatIgivepermissiononlytoyoureyestotakeashareintheproceedings。"

"Agreed！"

Sheunlacedherself，tookoffherstaysandherchemise，andtoldmetobequickandputonthecleanone，butIwasnotspeedyenough，beingtoomuchengagedbyallIcouldsee。

"Givememychemise，"sheexclaimed；"itisthereonthatsmalltable。"

"Where？"

"There，nearthebed。Well，Iwilltakeitmyself。"

Sheleanedovertowardsthetable，andexposedalmosteverythingI

waslongingfor，and，turningslowlyround，shehandedmethechemisewhichIcouldhardlyhold，tremblingalloverwithfearfulexcitement。Shetookpityonme，myhandssharedthehappinessofmyeyes；Ifellinherarms，ourlipsfastenedtogether，and，inavoluptuous，ardentpressure，weenjoyedanamorousexhaustionnotsufficienttoallayourdesires，butdelightfulenoughtodeceivethemforthemoment。

Withgreatercontroloverherselfthanwomenhavegenerallyundersimilarcircumstances，shetookcaretoletmereachonlytheporchofthetemple，withoutgrantingmeyetafreeentrancetothesanctuary。

EndMEMOIRSOFJACQUESCASANOVAdeSEINGALT1725—1798

VENETIANYEARS，Volume1d——RETURNTOVENICE

THERAREUNABRIDGEDLONDONEDITIONOF1894TRANSLATEDBYARTHUR

MACHENTOWHICHHASBEENADDEDTHECHAPTERSDISCOVERED

BYARTHURSYMONS。

RETURNTOVENICE

CHAPTERXVI

AFearfulMisfortuneBefallsMe——LoveCoolsDown——LeaveCorfuandReturntoVenice——GiveUptheArmyandBecomeaFiddlerThewoundwasrapidlyhealingup，andIsawnearathandthemomentwhenMadameF————wouldleaveherbed，andresumeherusualavocations。

ThegovernorofthegaleasseshavingissuedordersforageneralreviewatGouyn，M。F————，leftforthatplaceinhisgalley，tellingmetojoinhimthereearlyonthefollowingdaywiththefelucca。I

tooksupperalonewithMadameF————，andItoldherhowunhappyitmademetoremainonedayawayfromher。

"Letusmakeupto—nightforto—morrow’sdisappointment，"shesaid，"andletusspendittogetherinconversation。Herearethekeys；

whenyouknowthatmymaidhasleftme，cometomethroughmyhusband’sroom。"

Ididnotfailtofollowherinstructionstotheletter，andwefoundourselvesalonewithfivehoursbeforeus。ItwasthemonthofJune，andtheheatwasintense。Shehadgonetobed；Ifoldedherinmyarms，shepressedmetoherbosom，but，condemningherselftothemostcrueltorture，shethoughtIhadnorighttocomplain，ifIwassubjectedtothesameprivationwhichsheimposeduponherself。Myremonstrances，myprayers，myentreatieswereofnoavail。

"Love，"shesaid，"mustbekeptincheckwithatighthand，andwecanlaughathim，since，inspiteofthetyrannywhichweforcehimtoobey，wesucceedallthesameingratifyingourdesires。"

Afterthefirstecstacy，oureyesandlipsunclosedtogether，andalittleapartfromeachotherwetakedelightinseeingthemutualsatisfactionbeamingonourfeatures。

Ourdesiresrevive；shecastsalookuponmystateofinnocenceentirelyexposedtohersight。Sheseemsvexedatmywantofexcitement，and，throwingoffeverythingwhichmakestheheatunpleasantandinterfereswithourpleasure，sheboundsuponme。Itismorethanamorousfury，itisdesperatelust。Ishareherfrenzy，Ihugherwithasortofdelirium，Ienjoyafelicitywhichisonthepointofcarryingmetotheregionsofbliss……but，attheverymomentofcompletingtheoffering，shefailsme，movesoff，slipsaway，andcomesbacktoworkoffmyexcitementwithahandwhichstrikesmeascoldasice。

"Ah，thoucruel，belovedwoman！Thouartburningwiththefireoflove，andthoudeprivestthyselfoftheonlyremedywhichcouldbringcalmtothysenses！Thylovelyhandismorehumanethanthouart，butthouhasnotenjoyedthefelicitythatthyhandhasgivenme。Myhandmustowenothingtothine。Come，darlinglightofmyheart，come！LovedoublesmyexistenceinthehopethatIwilldieagain，butonlyinthatcharmingretreatfromwhichyouhaveejectedmeintheverymomentofmygreatestenjoyment。"

WhileIwasspeakingthus，herverysoulwasbreathingforththemosttendersighsofhappiness，andasshepressedmetightlyinherarmsIfeltthatshewaswelteringinanoceanofbliss。

Silencelastedratheralongtime，butthatunnaturalfelicitywasimperfect，andincreasedmyexcitement。

"Howcanstthoucomplain，"shesaidtenderly，"whenitistothatveryimperfectionofourenjoymentthatweareindebtedforitscontinuance？Ilovedtheeafewminutessince，nowIlovetheeathousandtimesmore，andperhapsIshouldlovetheelessifthouhadstcarriedmyenjoymenttoitshighestlimit。"

"Oh！howmuchartthoumistaken，lovelyone！Howgreatisthyerror！

Thouartfeedinguponsophisms，andthouleavestrealityaside；I

meannaturewhichalonecangiverealfelicity。Desiresconstantlyrenewedandneverfullysatisfiedaremoreterriblethanthetormentsofhell。"

"Butarenotthesedesireshappinesswhentheyarealwaysaccompaniedbyhope？"

"No，ifthathopeisalwaysdisappointed。Itbecomeshellitself，becausethereisnohope，andhopemustdiewhenitiskilledbyconstantdeception。"

"Dearest，ifhopedoesnotexistinhell，desirescannotbefoundthereeither；fortoimaginedesireswithouthopeswouldbemorethanmadness。"

"Well，answerme。Ifyoudesiretobemineentirely，andifyoufeelthehopeofit，which，accordingtoyourwayofreasoning，isanaturalconsequence，whydoyoualwaysraiseanimpedimenttoyourownhope？Cease，dearest，ceasetodeceiveyourselfbyabsurdsophisms。Letusbeashappyasitisinnaturetobe，andbequitecertainthattherealityofhappinesswillincreaseourlove，andthatlovewillfindanewlifeinourveryenjoyment。"

"WhatIseeprovesthecontrary；youarealivewithexcitementnow，butifyourdesireshadbeenentirelysatisfied，youwouldbedead，benumbed，motionless。Iknowitbyexperience:ifyouhadbreathedthefullecstacyofenjoyment，asyoudesired，youwouldhavefoundaweakardouronlyatlongintervals。"

"Ah！charmingcreature，yourexperienceisbutverysmall；donottrusttoit。Iseethatyouhaveneverknownlove。Thatwhichyoucalllove’sgraveisthesanctuaryinwhichitreceiveslife，theabodewhichmakesitimmortal。Givewaytomyprayers，mylovelyfriend，andthenyoushallknowthedifferencebetweenLoveandHymen。Youshallseethat，ifHymenlikestodieinordertogetridoflife，Loveonthecontraryexpiresonlytospringupagainintoexistence，andhastenstorevive，soastosavournewenjoyment。Letmeundeceiveyou，andbelievemewhenIsaythatthefullgratificationofdesirescanonlyincreaseahundredfoldthemutualardouroftwobeingswhoadoreeachother。"

"Well，Imustbelieveyou；butletuswait。Inthemeantimeletusenjoyallthetrifles，allthesweetpreliminariesoflove。Devourthymistress，dearest，butabandontomeallthybeing。Ifthisnightistooshortwemustconsoleourselvesto—morrowbymakingarrangementsforanotherone。"

"Andifourintercourseshouldbediscovered？"

"Dowemakeamysteryofit？Everybodycanseethatweloveeachother，andthosewhothinkthatwedonotenjoythehappinessofloversarepreciselytheonlypersonswehavetofear。Wemustonlybecarefultoguardagainstbeingsurprisedintheveryactofprovingourlove。Heavenandnaturemustprotectouraffection，forthereisnocrimewhentwoheartsareblendedintruelove。SinceI

havebeenconsciousofmyownexistence，Lovehasalwaysseemedtomethegodofmybeing，foreverytimeIsawamanIwasdelighted；I

thoughtthatIwaslookinguponone—halfofmyself，becauseIfeltI

wasmadeforhimandheforme。Ilongedtobemarried。Itwasthatuncertainlongingoftheheartwhichoccupiesexclusivelyayounggirloffifteen。Ihadnoconceptionoflove，butIfanciedthatitnaturallyaccompaniedmarriage。Youcanthereforeimaginemysurprisewhenmyhusband，intheveryactofmakingawomanofme，gavemeagreatdealofpainwithoutgivingmetheslightestideaofpleasure！MyimaginationintheconventwasmuchbetterthantherealityIhadbeencondemnedtobymyhusband！Theresulthasnaturallybeenthatwehavebecomeverygoodfriends，butaveryindifferenthusbandandwife，withoutanydesiresforeachother。Hehaseveryreasontobepleasedwithme，forIalwaysshewmyselfdociletohiswishes，butenjoymentnotbeinginthosecasesseasonedbylove，hemustfinditwithoutflavour，andheseldomcomestomeforit。

"WhenIfoundoutthatyouwereinlovewithme，Ifeltdelighted，andgaveyoueveryopportunityofbecomingeverydaymoredeeplyenamouredofme，thinkingmyselfcertainofneverlovingyoumyself。

AssoonasIfeltthatlovehadlikewiseattackedmyheart，Iill—

treatedyoutopunishyouforhavingmademyheartsensible。Yourpatienceandconstancyhaveastonishedme，andhavecausedmetobeguilty，forafterthefirstkissIgaveyouIhadnolongeranycontrolovermyself。IwasindeedastoundedwhenIsawthehavocmadebyonesinglekiss，andIfeltthatmyhappinesswaswrappedupinyours。Thatdiscoveryflatteredanddelightedme，andIhavefoundout，particularlyto—night，thatIcannotbehappyunlessyouaresoyourself。"

"Thatis，mybeloved，themostrefinedofallsentimentsexperiencedbylove，butitisimpossibleforyoutorendermecompletelyhappywithoutfollowingineverythingthelawsandthewishesofnature。"

Thenightwasspentintenderdiscussionsandinexquisitevoluptuousness，anditwasnotwithoutsomegriefthatatday—breakI

toremyselffromherarmstogotoGouyn。SheweptforjoywhenshesawthatIleftherwithouthavinglostaparticleofmyvigour，forshedidnotimaginesuchathingpossible。

Afterthatnight，sorichindelights，tenortwelvedayspassedwithoutgivingusanyopportunityofquenchingevenasmallparticleoftheamorousthirstwhichdevouredus，anditwasthenthatafearfulmisfortunebefellme。