第66章

Rometheholy，whichthusstrivestomakeallmenpederasts，deniesthefact，andwillnotbelieveintheeffectsoftheglamourofherowndevising。

Imadethesereflectionsaloud，andanecclesiastic，wishingtoblindmetothetruth，spokeasfollows:——

"Youarequiteright。Whyshouldthiscastratobeallowedtoshewhisbreast，ofwhichthefairestRomanladymightbeproud，andyetwisheveryonetoconsiderhimasamanandnotawoman？Ifthestageisforbiddentothefairsexlesttheyexcitedesires，whydotheyseekoutmen—monstersmadeintheformofwomen，whoexcitemuchmorecriminaldesires？Theykeeponpreachingthatpederastyiscomparativelyunknownandentrapsonlyafew，butmanyclevermenendeavourtobeentrapped，andendbythinkingitsopleasantthattheypreferthesemonsterstothemostbeautifulwomen。"

"ThePopewouldbesureofheavenifheputastoptothisscandalouspractice。"

"Idon’tagreewithyou。Onecouldnothaveaprettyactresstosupperwithoutcausingascandal，butsuchaninvitationtoacastratomakesnobodytalk。Itisofcourseknownperfectlywellthataftersupperbothheadsrestononepillow，butwhateverybodyknowsisignoredbyall。Onemaysleepwithamanoutofmerefriendship，itisnotsowithawoman。"

"True，monsignor，appearancesaresaved，andasinconcealedishalfpardoned，astheysayinParis。"

"AtRomewesayitispardonedaltogether。’Peccatonascostononoffende’。"

Hisjesuiticalargumentsinterestedme，forIknewthathewasanavowedpartisanoftheforbiddenfruit。

InoneoftheboxesIsawtheMarchionessPassarini（whomIhadknownatDresden）withDonAntonioBorghese，andIwenttopaymyaddressestothem。Theprince，whomIhadknownatParistenyearsbefore，recognizedme，andaskedmetodinewithhimonthefollowingday。Iwent，butmylordwasnotathome。Apagetoldmethatmyplacewaslaidattable，andthatIcoulddinejustasiftheprincewasthere，onwhichIturnedmybackonhimandwentaway。OnAshWednesdayhesenthismantoaskmetosupwithhimandthemarchioness，whowashismistress，andIsentwordthatI

wouldnotfailtocome；buthewaitedformeinvain。Prideisthedaughteroffolly，andalwayskeepsitsmother’snature。

AftertheoperaIwenttoMomolo’s，whereIfoundMariuccia，herfather，hermother，andherfuturehusband。Theywereanxiouslyexpectingme。Itisnotdifficulttomakepeoplehappywhenoneselectsforone’sbountypersonswhoreallydeservehappiness。I

wasamidstpoorbuthonestpeople，andIcantrulysaythatIhadadelightfulsupper。Itmaybethatsomeofmyenjoymentproceededfromafeelingofvanity，forIknewthatIwastheauthorofthehappinessdepictedonthefacesofthebrideandbridegroomandofthefatherandmotherofMariuccia；butwhenvanitycausesgooddeedsitisavirtue。Nevertheless，Ioweittomyselftotellmyreadersthatmypleasurewastoopuretohaveinitanyadmixtureofvice。

AftersupperImadeasmallbankatfaro，makingeverybodyplaywithcounters，asnobodyhadapenny，andIwassofortunateastomakeeveryonewinafewducats。

AfterthegamewedancedinspiteoftheprohibitionofthePope，whomnoRomancanbelievetobeinfallible，forheforbidsdancingandpermitsgamesofchance。HissuccessorGanganellifollowedtheoppositecourse，andwasnobetterobeyed。ToavoidsuspicionIdidnotgivethepairanypresent，butIgaveupmylandautothemthattheymightenjoythecarnivalontheCorso，andItoldCostatogetthemaboxattheCapranicaTheatre。MomoloaskedmetosupperonShroveTuesday。

IwishedtoleaveRomeontheseconddayofLent，andIcalledontheHolyFatheratatimewhenallRomewasontheCorso。HisHolinesswelcomedmemostgraciously，andsaidhewassurprisedthatIhadnotgonetoseethesightsontheCorsolikeeverybodyelse。IrepliedthatasaloverofpleasureIhadchosenthegreatestpleasureofallforaChristian——namely，tokneelatthefeetofthevicarofChristonearth。Hebowedwithakindofmajestichumility，whichshewedmehowthecomplimenthadpleasedhim。Hekeptmeformorethananhour，talkingaboutVenice，Padua，andParis，whichlattercitytheworthymanwouldnothavebeensorrytohavevisited。Iagaincommendedmyselftohisapostolicintercessiontoenablemetoreturntomynativecountry，andhereplied，——

"HaverecoursetoGod，dearson；Hisgracewillbemoreefficaciousthanmyprayers；"andthenheblessedmeandwishedmeaprosperousjourney。

IsawthattheHeadoftheChurchhadnogreatopinionofhisownpower。

OnShroveTuesdayIdressedmyselfrichlyinthecostumeofPolichinello，androdealongtheCorsoshoweringsweetmeatsonalltheprettywomenIsaw。FinallyIemptiedthebasketonthedaughtersoftheworthy’scopatore’，whomCostawastakingaboutinmylandauwithallthedignityofapasha。

Atnight—timeItookoffmycostumeandwenttoMomolo’s，whereI

expectedtoseedearMariucciaforthelasttime。SupperpassedoffinalmostasimilarmannertothesupperoflastSunday；buttherewasaninterestingnoveltyforme——namely，thesightofmybelovedmistressinhercharacterofbride。Herhusbandseemedtobemuchmorereservedwithrespecttomethanatourfirstmeeting。Iwaspuzzledbyhisbehaviour，andsatdownbyMariucciaandproceededtoquestionher。Shetoldmeallthecircumstanceswhichhadpassedonthefirstnight，andshespokehighlyofherhusband’sgoodqualities。Hewaskind，amorous，good—tempered，anddelicate。Nodoubthemusthavenoticedthatthecaskethadbeenopened，buthehadsaidnothingaboutit。Ashehadspokenaboutme，shehadnotbeenabletoresistthepleasureoftellinghimthatIwashersolebenefactor，atwhich，sofarfrombeingoffended，heseemedtotrustinhermorethanever。

"Buthashenotquestionedyouindirectlyastotheconnectionbetweenus？"

"Notatall。Itoldhimthatyouwenttomyconfessorafterhavingspokentomeonceonlyinthechurch，whereItoldyouwhatagoodchanceIhadofbeingmarriedtohim。"

"Doyouthinkhebelievedyou？"

"Iamnotsure；however，evenifitwereotherwise，itisenoughthathepretendsto，forIamdeterminedtowinhisesteem。"

"Youareright，andIthinkallthebetterofhimforhissuspicions，foritisbettertomarryamanwithsomesenseinhisheadthantomarryafool。"

IwassopleasedwithwhatshetoldmethatwhenItookleaveofthecompanyIembracedthehairdresser，anddrawingahandsomegoldwatchfrommyfobIbeggedhimtoacceptitasasouvenirofme。Hereceiveditwiththeutmostgratitude。FrommypocketI

tookaring，worthatleastsixhundredfrancs，andputitonhiswife’sfinger，wishingthemafairposterityandallmannerofhappiness，andIthenwenthometobed，tellingLeDucandCostathatwemustbegintopackupnextday。

IwasjustgettingupwhentheybroughtmeanotefromLordLismore，beggingmetocomeandspeaktohimatnoonattheVillaBorghese。

Ihadsomesuspicionofwhathemightwant，andkepttheappointment。Ifeltinamoodtogivehimsomegoodadvice。

Indeed，consideringthefriendshipbetweenhismotherandmyself，itwasmydutytodoso。

Hecameuptomeandgavemealetterhehadreceivedtheeveningbeforefromhismother。ShetoldhimthatParisdeMonmartelhadjustinformedherthathewasinpossessionofabillfortwohundredthousandfrancsdrawnbyherson，andthathewouldhonouritifshewouldfurnishhimwiththefunds。Shehadrepliedthatshewouldlethimknowintwoorthreedaysifshecoulddoso；

butshewarnedhersonthatshehadonlyaskedforthisdelaytogivehimtimetoescape，asthebillwouldcertainlybeprotestedandreturned，itbeingabsolutelyoutofthequestionforhertogetthemoney。

"Youhadbettermakeyourselfscarceassoonasyoucan，"saidI，returninghimtheletter。

"Buythisring，andsofurnishmewiththemeansformyescape。

YouwouldnotknowthatitwasnotmypropertyifIhadnottoldyousoinconfidence。"

Imadeanappointmentwithhim，andhadthestonetakenoutandvaluedbyoneofthebestjewellersinRome。

"Iknowthisstone，"saidhe，"itisworthtwothousandRomancrowns。"

Atfouro’clockItooktheearlfivehundredcrownsingoldandfifteenhundredcrownsinpaper，whichhewouldhavetotaketoabanker，whowouldgivehimabillofexchangeinAmsterdam。

"Iwillbeoffatnightfall，"saidhe，"andtravelbymyselftoAmsterdam，onlytakingsucheffectsasareabsolutelynecessary，andmybelovedblueribbon。"

"Apleasantjourneytoyou，"saidI，andlefthim。IntendaysI

hadthestonemountedatBologna。

IgotaletterofintroductionfromCardinalAlbaniforOnorati，thenuncioatFlorence，andanotherletterfromM。MengstoSirMann，whomhebeggedtoreceivemeinhishouse。IwasgoingtoFlorenceforthesakeoftheCorticelliandmydearTherese，andI

reckonedontheauditor’sfeigningtoignoremyreturn，inspiteofhisunjustorder，especiallyifIwereresidingattheEnglishminister’s。

OntheseconddayofLentthedisappearanceofLordLismorewasthetalkofthetown。TheEnglishtailorwasruined，theJewwhoownedtheringwasindespair，andallthesillyfellow’sservantswereturnedoutofthehouseinalmostastateofnakedness，asthetailorhadunceremoniouslytakenpossessionofeverythinginthewayofclothesthathecouldlayhishandson。

PoorPoinsinetcametoseemeinapitiablecondition；hehadonlyhisshirtandovercoat。Hehadbeendespoiledofeverything，andthreatenedwithimprisonment。"Ihaven’tafarthing，"saidthepoorchildofthemuses，"Ihaveonlytheshirtonmyback。I

knownobodyhere，andIthinkIshallgoandthrowmyselfintotheTiber。"

Hewasdestined，nottobedrownedintheTiberbutintheGuadalquivir。IcalmedhimbyofferingtotakehimtoFlorencewithme，butIwarnedhimthatImustleavehimthere，assomeonewasexpectingmeatFlorence。Heimmediatelytookuphisabodewithme，andwroteversesincessantlytillitwastimetogo。

MybrotherJeanmademeapresentofanonyxofgreatbeauty。Itwasacameo，representingVenusbathing，andagenuineantique，asthenameoftheartist，Sostrates，wascutonthestone。TwoyearslaterIsoldittoDr。Masti，atLondon，forthreehundredpounds，anditispossiblystillintheBritishMuseum。

IwentmywaywithPoinsinetwhoamusedme，inspiteofhissadness，withhisdrollfancies。IntwodaysIgotdownatDr。

Vannini’s，whotriedtoconcealhissurpriseatseeingme。Ilostnotime，butwaitedonSir————Mannimmediately，andfoundhimsittingattable。Hegavemeaveryfriendlyreception，butheseemedalarmedwhen，inreplytohisquestion，Itoldhimthatmydisputewiththeauditorhadnotbeenarranged。HetoldmeplainlythathethoughtIhadmadeamistakeinreturningtoFlorence，andthathewouldbecompromisedbymystayingwithhim。

IpointedoutthatIwasonlypassingthroughFlorence。

"That’sallverywell，"saidhe，"butyouknowyououghttocallontheauditor。"

Ipromisedtodoso，andreturnedtomylodging。Ihadscarcelyshutthedoor，whenanagentofpolicecameandtoldmethattheauditorhadsomethingtosaytome，andwouldbegladtoseemeatanearlyhournextmorning。

Iwasenragedatthisorder，anddeterminedtostartforthwithratherthanobey。FullofthisideaIcalledonThereseandfoundshewasatPisa。IthenwenttoseetheCorticelli，whothrewherarmsroundmyneck，andmadeuseoftheBolognesegrimacesappropriatetotheoccasion。Tospeakthetruth，althoughthegirlwaspretty，herchiefmeritinmyeyeswasthatshemademelaugh。

Igavesomemoneytohermothertogetusagoodsupper，andI

tookthegirloutonpretenceofgoingforawalk。Iwentwithhertomylodging，andleftherwithPoinsinet，andgoingtoanotherroomIsummonedCostaandVannini。ItoldCostainVannini’spresencetogoonwithLeDucandmyluggagethefollowingday，andtocallformeatthe"Pilgrim"atBologna。I

gaveVanninimyinstructions，andhelefttheroom；andthenI

orderedCostatoleaveFlorencewithSignoraLauraandherson，andtotellthemthatIandthedaughterwereoninfront。LeDucreceivedsimilarorders，andcallingPoinsinetIgavehimtenLouis，andbeggedhimtolookoutforsomeotherlodgingthatveryevening。Theworthybutunfortunateyoungmanweptgratefultears，andtoldmethathewouldsetoutforParmaonfootnextday，andthatthereM。Tillotwoulddosome，thingforhim。

Iwentbacktothenextroom，andtoldtheCorticellitocomewithme。Shedidsoundertheimpressionthatweweregoingbacktohermother’s，butwithouttakingthetroubletoundeceiveherI

hadacarriageandpairgotready，andtoldthepostilliontodrivetoUccellatoio，thefirstpostontheBolognaroad。

"Whereintheworldarewegoing？"saidshe。

"Bologna。"

"Howaboutmamma？"

"Shewillcomeonto—morrow。"

"Doessheknowaboutit？"

"No，butshewillto—morrowwhenCostacomestotellher，andtofetchherandyourbrother"

Shelikedthejoke，andgotintothecarriagelaughing，andwedroveaway。

CHAPTERXI

MyArrivalatBologna——IAmExpelledfromModena——IVisitParmaandTurin——ThePrettyJewess——TheDressmakerTheCorticellihadagoodwarmmantle，butthefoolwhocarriedheroffhadnocloak，evenofthemostmeagrekind，tokeepoffthepiercingcold，whichwasincreasedbyakeenwindblowingrightinourfaces。

InspiteofallIwouldnothalt，forIwasafraidImightbepursuedandobligedtoreturn，whichwouldhavegreatlyvexedme。

WhenIsawthatthepostillionwasslackeninghisspeed，I

increasedtheamountofthepresentIwasgoingtomakehim，andoncemorewerushedalongataheadlongpace。Ifeltperishingwiththecold；whilethepostillionsseeingmesolightlyclad，andsoprodigalofmymoneytospeedthemontheirway，imaginedthatIwasaprincecarryingofftheheiressofsomenoblefamily。

Weheardthemtalkingtothiseffectwhiletheychangedhorses，andtheCorticelliwassomuchamusedthatshedidnothingbutlaughfortherestoftheway。Infivehourswecoveredfortymiles；westartedfromFlorenceateighto’clock，andatoneinthemorningwestoppedatapostinthePope’sterritory，whereI

hadnothingtofear。Thestagegoesunderthenameof"TheAssUnburdened。"

Theoddnameoftheinnmademymistresslaughafresh。Everybodywasasleep，butthenoiseImadeandthedistributionofafewpaulsprocuredmetheprivilegeofafire。Iwasdyingofhunger，andtheycoollytoldmetherewasnothingtoeat。Ilaughedinthelandlord’sface，andtoldhimtobringmehisbutter，hiseggs，hismacaroni，aham，andsomeParmesancheese，forIknewthatsomuchwillbefoundintheinnsalloverItaly。Therepastwassoonready，andIshewedtheidiothostthathehadmaterialsforanexcellentmeal。Weatelikefour，andafterwardstheymadeupanimpromptubedandwewenttosleep，tellingthemtocallmeassoonasacarriageandfourdrewup。

Fullofhamandmacaroni，slightlywarmedwiththeChiantiandMontepulciano，andtiredwithourjourney，westoodmoreinneedofslumberthanoflove，andsowegaveourselvesuptosleeptillmorning。Thenwegaveafewmomentstopleasure，butitwassoslightanaffairasnottobeworthtalkingabout。

Atoneo’clockwebegantofeelhungryagainandgotup，andthehostprovideduswithanexcellentdinner，afterreceivinginstructionsfromme。Iwasastonishednottoseethecarriagedrawup，butIwaitedpatientlyallday。Nightcameonandstillnocoach，andIbegantofeelanxious；buttheCorticellipersistedinlaughingateverything。NextmorningIsentoffanexpressmessengerwithinstructionsforCosta。Intheeventofanyviolencehavingtakenplace，IwasresolvedtoreturntoFlorence，ofwhichcityIcouldatanytimemakemyselffreebytheexpenditureoftwohundredcrowns。

Themessengerstartedatnoon，andreturnedattwoo’clockwiththenewsthatmyservantswouldshortlybewithme。Mycoachwasonitsway，andbehinditasmallercarriagewithtwohorses，inwhichsatanoldwomanandayoungman。

"That’sthemother，"saidCorticelli；"nowweshallhavesomefun。

Let’sgetsomethingforthemtoeat，andbereadytohearthehistoryofthismarvellousadventurewhichshewillremembertoherdyingday。"

Costatoldmethattheauditorhadrevengedmycontemptofhisordersbyforbiddingthepostauthoritiestofurnishanyhorsesformycarriage。Hencethedelay。ButhereweheardtheallocutionoftheSignoraLaura。

"Igotanexcellentsupperready，"shebegan，"accordingtoyourorders；itcostmemorethantenpauls，asIshallshewyou，andI

hopeyouwillmakeituptomeasI’mbutapoorwoman。AllwasreadyandIjoyfullyexpectedyou，butinvain；Iwasindespair。

AtlastwhenmidnightcameIsentmysontoyourlodgingtoenquireafteryou，butyoumayimaginemy’griefwhenIheardthatnobodyknewwhathadbecomeofyou。Ipassedasleeplessnight，weepingallthetime，andinthemorningIwentandcomplainedtothepolicethatyouhadtakenoffmydaughter，andaskedthemtosendafteryouandmakeyougiveherbacktome。Butonlythink，theylaughedatme！’Whydidyoulethergooutwithoutyou？

laughinginmyface。’Yourdaughter’singoodhands，’saysanother，’youknowperfectlywellwheresheis。’InfactIwasgrosslyslandered。"

"Slandered？"saidtheCorticelli。

"Yes，slandered，foritwasasmuchastosaythatIhadconsentedtoyourbeingcarriedoff，andifIhaddonethatthefoolsmighthaveknownIwouldnothavecometothemaboutit。IwentawayinaragetoDr。Vannini’s，whereIfoundyourman，whotoldmethatyouhadgonetoBologna，andthatIcouldfollowyouifIliked。

Iconsentedtothisplan，andIhopeyouwiltpaymytravellingexpenses。ButIcan’thelptellingyouthatthisisratherbeyondajoke。"

IconsoledherbytellingherIwouldpayallshehadspent，andwesetoffforBolognathenextday，andreachedthattownatanearlyhour。Isentmyservantstotheinnwithmycarriage，andI

wenttolodgewiththeCorticelli。

Ispentaweekwiththegirl，gettingmymealsfromtheinn，andenjoyingadiversityofpleasureswhichIshallrememberallmydays；myyoungwantonhadalargecircleoffemalefriends，allprettyandallkind。Ilivedwiththemlikeasultan，andstillI

delighttorecallthishappytime，andIsaywithasigh，’Tempipassati’！

TherearemanytownsinItalywhereonecanenjoyallthepleasuresobtainableatBologna；butnowheresocheaply，soeasily，orwithsomuchfreedom。Thelivingisexcellent，andtherearearcadeswhereonec