第62章

Ibeggedhertodomyhair，intendingtodismissherdirectlyafter，butwhenshehadfinishedIaskedhertogivemetheointment。

"Whatdoyouwantitfor？"

"FortheblistersthatcursedsaddleonwhichIrodesixmilesgaveme。"

"Doestheointmentdothemgood？"

"Certainly；ittakesawaythesmart，andbyto—morrowIshallbecured，butyoumustsendCostatome，asIcannotputitonmyself。"

"Can’tIdoit？"

"Yes，butIamafraidthatwouldbeanabuseofyourkindness。"

"Iguesswhy；butasIamshort—sighted，howshallIseetheblisters？"

"Ifyouwanttodoitforme，Iwillplacemyselfsothatitwillbeeasierforyou。Stay，putthecandleonthistable。"

"Thereyouare，butdon’tletCostaputitonagainto—morrow，orhewillguessthatIormysisterdiditto—night。"

"Youwilldomethesameservice，then，to—morrow？"

"Iormysister，forshewillgetupearly。"

"Yoursister！No，mydear；shewouldbeafraidofgivingmetoomuchpleasurebytouchingmesonear。"

"AndIamonlyafraidofhurtingyou。Isthatright？Goodheavens！whatastateyourskinisin！"

"Youhavenotfinishedyet。"

"Iamsoshort—sighted；turnround。"

"Withpleasure。HereIam。"

Thelittlewantoncouldnotresistlaughingatwhatshesaw，doubtless，forthefirsttime。Shewasobligedtotouchittocontinuerubbingtheointmentin，andIsawthatshelikedit，asshetoucheditwhenshehadnoneed，andnotbeingabletostanditanylongerItookholdofherhandandmadeherstopherworkinfavourofapleasanteremployment。

WhenshehadfinishedIburstoutlaughingtohearherask，inthemostseriousway，thepotofointmentstillinherlefthand，"DidIdoitright！"

"Oh，admirably，dearAnnette！Youareanangel，andIamsureyouknowwhatpleasureyougaveme。Canyoucomeandspendanhourwithme？"

"Waitabit。"

Shewentoutandshutthedoor，andIwaitedforhertoreturn；

butmypatiencebeingexhaustedIopenedthedoorslightly，andsawherundressingandgettingintobedwithhersister。Iwentbacktomyroomandtobedagain，withoutlosingallhope。Iwasnotdisappointed，forinfiveminutesbackshecame，cladinherchemiseandwalkingontip—toe。

"Cometomyarms，mylove；itisverycold。"

"HereIam。Mysisterisasleepandsuspectsnothing；andevenifsheawokethebedissolargethatshewouldnotnoticemyabsence。"

"Youareadivinecreature，andIloveyouwithallmyheart。"

"Somuchthebetter。Igivemyselfuptoyou；dowhatyoulikewithme，ontheconditionthatyouthinkofmysisternomore。"

"Thatwillnotcostmemuch。IpromisethatIwillnotthinkofher。"

IfoundAnnetteaperfectneophyte，andthoughIsawnobloodonthealtaroflovenextmorningIdidnotsuspectheronthataccount。Ihaveoftenseensuchcases，andIknowbyexperiencethattheeffusionofbloodoritsabsenceprovesnothing。Asageneralruleagirlcannotbeconvictedofhavinghadaloverunlessshebewithchild。

Ispenttwohoursofdelightwiththisprettybaby，forshewassosmall，sodelicate，andsodaintilyshapedallover，thatIcanfindnobetternameforher。Herdocilitydidnotdetractfromthepiquancyofthepleasure，forshewasvoluptuouslyinclined。

WhenIroseinthemorningshecametomyroomwithVeronique，andIwasgladtoseethatwhiletheyoungersisterwasradiantwithhappinesstheelderlookedpleasantandasifshedesiredtomakeherselfagreeable。Iaskedherhowshewas，andshetoldmethatdietandsleephadcompletelycuredher。"Ihavealwaysfoundthemthebestremedyforaheadache。"AnnettehadalsocuredmeofthecuriosityIhadfeltabouther。Icongratulatedmyselfonmyachievement。

IwasinsuchhighspiritsatsupperthatM。deGrimaldithoughtI

hadwoneverythingfromVeronique，andIlethimthinkso。I

promisedtodinewithhimthenextday，andIkeptmyword。AfterdinnerIgavehimalongletterforRosalie，whomIdidnotexpecttoseeagainexceptasMadamePetri，thoughItookcarenottoletthemarquisknowwhatIthought。

IntheeveningIsuppedwiththetwosisters，andImademyselfequallyagreeabletobothofthem。WhenVeroniquewasalonewithme，puttingmyhairintocurl—papers，shesaidthatshelovedmemuchmorenowthatIbehaveddiscreetly。

"Mydiscretion，"Ireplied，"onlymeansthatIhavegivenupthehopeofwinningyou。Iknowhowtotakemypart。"

"Yourlovewasnotverygreat，then？"

"Itsprangupquickly，andyou，Veronique，couldhavemadeitincreasetoagiganticsize。"

Shesaidnothing，butbitherlip，wishedmegoodnightandlefttheroom。IwenttobedexpectingavisitfromAnnette，butI

waitedinvain。WhenIrangthenextmorningthedeargirlappearedlookingrathersad。Iaskedherthereason。

"Becausemysisterisill，andspentthewholenightinwriting，"

saidshe。

ThusIlearntthereasonofhernothavingpaidmeavisit。

"Doyouknowwhatshewaswritingabout？"

"Oh，no！Shedoesnottellmethatkindofthing，buthereisaletterforyou。"

Ireadthroughthelongandwell—composedletter，butasitboremarksofcraftanddissimulationitmademelaugh。Afterseveralremarksofnoconsequenceshesaidthatshehadrepulsedmebecauseshelovedmesomuchandthatshewasafraidthatifshesatisfiedmyfancyshemightloseme。

"Iwillbewhollyyours，"sheadded，"ifyouwillgivemethepositionwhichRosalieenjoyed。Iwilltravelinyourcompany，butyoumustgivemeadocument，whichM。deGrimaldiwillsignasawitness，inwhichyoumustengagetomarrymeinayear，andtogivemeaportionoffiftythousandfrancs；andifattheendofayearyoudonotwishtomarryme，thatsumtobeatmyabsolutedisposal。"

Shestipulatedalsothatifshebecameamotherinthecourseofayearthechildshouldbehersintheeventofourseparating。Ontheseconditionsshewouldbecomemymistress，andwouldhaveformeallpossibleloveandkindness。

Thisproposal，cleverlyconceived，butfoolishlycommunicatedtome，shewedmethatVeroniquehadnotthetalentofdupingothers。

IsawdirectlythatM。deGrimaldihadnothingtodowithit，andIfeltsurethathewouldlaughwhenItoldhimthestory。

Annettesooncamebackwiththechocolate，andtoldmethathersisterhopedIwouldanswerherletter。

"Yes，dear，"saidI，"IwillanswerherwhenIgetup。"

Itookmychocolate，putonmydressing—gown，andwenttoVeronique’sroom。Ifoundhersittingupinbedinanegligentattirethatmighthaveattractedmeifherletterhadnotdeprivedherofmygoodopinion。Isatonthebed，gaveherbacktheletter，andsaid，——

"Whywrite，whenwecantalkthematterover？"

"Becauseoneisoftenmoreateaseinwritingthaninspeaking。"

"Indiplomacyandbusinessthatwillpass，butnotinlove。Lovemakesnoconditions。Letushavenodocuments，nosafeguards，butgiveyourselfuptomeasRosaliedid，andbeginto—nightwithoutmypromisinganything。Ifyoutrustinlove，youwillmakehimyourprisoner。Thatwaywillhonourusandourpleasures，andifyoulikeIwillconsultM。deGrimaldionthesubject。Astoyourplan，ifitdoesnotinjureyourhonour，itdoessmalljusticetoyourcommonsense，andnoonebutafoolwouldagreetoit。Youcouldnotpossiblylovethemantowhomyoumakesuchaproposal，andastoM。deGrimaldi，farfromhavinganythingtodowithit，Iamsurehewouldbeindignantattheveryidea。"

ThisdiscoursedidnotputVeroniqueoutofcountenance。Shesaidshedidnotlovemewellenoughtogiveherselftomeunconditionally；towhichIrepliedthatIwasnotsufficientlytakenwithhercharmstobuythematthepriceshefixed，andsoI

lefther。

IcalledCosta，andtoldhimtogoandwarnthemasterofthefeluccathatIwasgoingthenextday，andwiththisideaIwenttobidgood—byetothemarquis，whoinformedmethathehadjustbeentakingPetritoseeRosalie，whohadreceivedhimwellenough。ItoldhimIwasgladtohearit，andsaidthatI

commendedtohimthecareofherhappiness，butsuchcommendationswerethrownaway。

Itisoneofthemostcuriouscircumstancesofmyhistory，thatinoneyeartwowomenwhomIsincerelylovedandwhomImighthavemarriedweretakenfrommebytwooldmen，whoseaffectionsIhadfosteredwithoutwishingtodoso。Happilythesegentlemenmademymistresses’fortunes，butontheotherhandtheydidmeastillgreaterserviceinrelievingmeofatiewhichIshouldhavefoundverytroublesomeincourseoftime。Nodoubttheybothsawthatmyfortune，thoughgreatinoutwardshow，restedonnosolidbasis，which，asthereaderwillsee，wasunhappilytootrue。I

shouldbehappyifIthoughtthatmyerrorsorratherfollieswouldserveasawarningtothereadersoftheseMemoirs。

IspentthedayinwatchingthecarewithwhichVeroniqueandAnnettepackedupmytrunks，forIwouldnotletmytwoservantshelpinanyway。Veroniquewasneithersadnorgay。Shelookedasifshehadmadeuphermind，andasiftherehadneverbeenanydifferencesbetweenus。Iwasveryglad，forasInolongercaredforherIshouldhavebeenannoyedtofindthatshestillcaredforme。

Wesuppedinourusualmanner，discussingonlycommonplacetopics，butjustasIwasgoingtobedAnnetteshookmyhandinawaythattoldmetoprepareforavisitfromher。Iadmiredthenaturalacutenessofyounggirls，whotaketheirdegreesintheartoflovewithsomucheaseandatsuchanearlyage。Annette，almostachild，knewmorethanayoungmanoftwenty。IdecidedongivingherfiftysequinswithoutlettingVeroniqueseeme，asI

didnotintendtobesoliberaltowardsher。Itookarollofducatsandgavethemtoherassoonasshecame。

Shelaydownbesideme，andafteramomentdevotedtoloveshesaidthatVeroniquewasasleep，adding，——

"Iheardallyousaidtomysister，andIamsureyouloveher。"

"IfIdid，dearAnnette，Ishouldnothavemademyproposalinsuchplainterms。"

"Ishouldliketobelievethat，butwhatwouldyouhavedoneifshehadacceptedyouroffer？Youwouldbeinonebedbythis，I

suppose？"

"Iwasmorethancertain，dearest，thatherpridewouldhinderherreceivingme。"

WehadreachedthispointinourconversationwhenweweresurprisedbythesuddenappearanceofVeroniquewithalightedcandle，andwearingonlyherchemise。Shelaughedathersistertoencourageher，andIjoinedinthelaughter，keepingafirmholdonthelittleoneforfearofherescaping。Veroniquelookedravishinginherscantyattire，andasshelaughedIcouldnotbeangrywithher。However，Isaid，——

"Youhaveinterruptedourenjoyment，andhurtyoursister’sfeelings；perhapsyouwilldespiseherforthefuture？"

"Onthecontrary，Ishallalwaysloveher。"

"Herfeelingsovercameher，andshesurrenderedtomewithoutmakinganyterms。"

"ShehasmoresensethanI"

"Doyoumeanthat？"

"Ido，really。"

"Iamastonishedanddelightedtohearit；butasitisso，kissyoursister。"

AtthisinvitationVeroniqueputdownthecandle，andcoveredAnnette’sbeautifulbodywithkisses。Thescenemademefeelveryhappy。

"Come，Veronique，"saidI，"youwilldieofcold；comeandliedown。"

Imaderoomforher，andsoontherewerethreeofusunderthesamesheet。Iwasinanecstasyatthisgroup，worthyofAretin’spencil。

"Dearestones，"saidI，"youhaveplayedmeaprettytrick；wasitpremeditated？AndwasVeroniquefalsethismorning，orisshefalsenow？"

"Wedidnotpremeditateanything，Iwastruethismorning，andI

amtruenow。IfeelthatIandmyplanwereverysilly，andI

hopeyouwillforgiveme，sinceIhaverepentedandhavehadmypunishment。NowIthinkIaminmyrightsenses，asIhaveyieldedtothefeelingswithwhichyouinspiredmewhenIsawyoufirst，andagainstwhichIhavefoughttoolong。"

"Whatyousaypleasesmeextremely。"

"Well，forgivemeandfinishmypunishmentbyshewingthatyouarenotangrywithme。"

"HowamItodothat？"

"Bytellingmethatyouarevexednolonger，andbycontinuingtogivemysisterproofsofyourlove。"

"IsweartoyouthatsofarfrombeingangrywithyouIamveryfondofyou；butwouldyoulikeustobefondinyourpresence？"

"Yes，ifyoudon’tmindme。"

Feelingexcitedbyvoluptuousemotions，Isawthatmypartcouldnolongerbeapassiveone。

"Whatdoyousay，"saidItomyblonde，"willyouallowyourheroicsistertoremainamerelooker—onatoursweetstruggles？

Areyounotgenerousenoughtoletmemakeheranactressinthedrama？"

"No；IconfessIdonotfeelasifIcouldbesogenerousto—

night，butnextnight，ifyouwillplaythesamepart，wewillchange。VeroniqueshallactandIwilllookon。"

"Thatwoulddobeautifully，"saidVeronique，withsomevexationinhermanner，"ifthegentlemanwasnotgoingto—morrowmorning。"

"Iwillstay，dearVeronique，ifonlytoprovehowmuchIloveyou，"

Icouldnothavewishedforplainerspeechonherpart，andI

shouldhavelikedtoshewherhowgratefulIfeltonthespot；butthatwouldhavebeenatAnnette’sexpense，asIhadnorighttomakeanyalterationinthepieceofwhichshewastheauthorandhadarighttoexpectalltheprofits。WheneverIrecallthispleasantsceneIfeelmyheartbeatwithvoluptuouspleasure，andevennow，withthehandofoldageuponme，Icannotrecallitwithoutdelight。

Veroniqueresignedherselftothepassivepartwhichheryoungersisterimposedonher，andturningasidesheleantherheadonherhand，disclosingabreastwhichwouldhaveexcitedthecoldestofmen，andbademebeginmyattackonAnnette。Itwasnohardtaskshelaiduponme，forIwasallonfire，andIwascertainofpleasingheraslongasshelookedatme。AsAnnettewasshort—

sighted，shecouldnotdistinguishintheheatoftheactionwhichwayIwaslooking，andIsucceededingettingmyrighthandfree，withouthernoticingme，andIwasthusenabledtocommunicateapleasureasrealthoughnotasacuteasthatenjoyedbyhersister。Whenthecoverletwasdisarranged，Veroniquetookthetroubletoreplaceit，andthusofferedme，asifbyaccident，anewspectacle。ShesawhowIenjoyedthesightofhercharms，andhereyebrightened。Atlast，fullofunsatisfieddesire，sheshewedmeallthetreasureswhichnaturehadgivenher，justasI

hadfinishedwithAnnetteforthefourthtime。ShemightwellthinkthatIwasonlyrehearsingforthefollowingnight，andherfancymusthavepaintedhercomingjoysinthebrightestcolours。

Suchatalleventsweremythoughts，butthefatesdeterminedotherwise。Iwasinthemiddleoftheseventhact，alwaysslowerandmorepleasantfortheactressthanthefirsttwoorthree，whenCostacameknockingloudlyatmydoor，callingoutthatthefeluccawasready。Iwasvexedatthisuntowardincident，gotupinarage，andaftertellinghimtopaythemasterfortheday，asIwasnotgoingtillthemorrow，Iwentbacktobed，nolonger，however，inastatetocontinuetheworkIbegun。Mytwosweetheartsweredelightedwithme，butweallwantedrest，thoughthepieceshouldnothavefinishedwithaninterruption。Iwantedtogetsomeamusementoutoftheinterval，andproposedanablution，whichmadeAnnettelaughandwhichVeroniquepronouncedtobeabsolutelynecessary。Ifounditadelicioushorsd’oeuvretothebanquetIhadenjoyed。Thetwosistersrenderedeachothervariousservices，standinginthemostlasciviouspostures，andI

foundmysituationaslooker—onanenviableone。

Whenthewashingandthelaughteritgaverisetowereover，wereturnedtothestagewherethelastactshouldhavebeenperformed。Ilongedtobeginagain，andIamsureIshouldhavesucceededifIhadbeenwellbackedupbymypartner；butAnnette，whowasyoungandtiredoutwiththetoilsofthenight，forgotherpart，andyieldedtosleepasshehadyieldedtolove。

Veroniquebegantolaughwhenshesawherasleep，andIhadtodothesame，whenIsawthatshewasasstillasacorpse。

"Whatapity！"saidVeronique’seyes；butshesaiditwithhereyesalone，whileIwaswaitingforthesewordstoissuefromherlips。Wewerebothofuswrong:shefornotspeaking，andIforwaitingforhertospeak。Itwasafavourablemoment，butweletitpassby，andlovepunishedus。Ihad，itistrue，anotherreasonforabstaining。Iwishedtoreservemyselfforthenight。

Veroniquewenttoherownbedtoquietherexcitedfeelings，andI

stayedinbedwithmysleepingbeautytillnoon，whenIwishedhergoodmorningbyafreshassaultwhichwascompletedneitheronhersidenoronminetothebestofmybelief。

Thedaywasspentintalkingaboutourselves，anddeterminedtoeatonlyonemeal，wedidnotsitdowntotabletillnightbegantofall。Wespenttwohoursintheconsumptionofdelicatedishes，andindefyingBacchustomakeusfeelhispower。WeroseaswesawAnnettefallingasleep，butwewerenotmuchannoyedatthethoughtthatshewouldnotseethepleasureswepromisedeachother。IthoughtthatIshouldhaveenoughtodotocontemplatethecharmsoftheonenymphwithoutlookingatAnnette’sbeauties。

Wewenttobed，ourarmsinterlaced，ourbodiestighttogether，andlippressedonlip，butthatwasall。Veroniquesawwhatpreventedmegoinganyfurther，andshewastoopoliteandmodesttocomplain。Shedissembledherfeelingsandcontinuedtocaressme，whileIwasinafrenzyofrage。Ihadneverhadsuchamisfortune，unlessastheresultofcompleteexhaustion，orfromastrongmentalimpressioncapableofdestroyingmynaturalfaculties。LetmyreadersimaginewhatIsuffered；intheflowerofmyage，withastrongconstitution，holdingthebodyofawomanIhadardentlydesiredinmyarms，whileshetenderlycaressedme，andyetIcoulddonothingforher。Iwasindespair；onecannotofferagreaterinsulttoawoman。

Atlastwehadtoacceptthefactsandspeakreasonably，andIwasthefirsttobewailmymisfortune。

"Youtiredyourselftoomuchyesterday，"saidshe，"andyouwerenotsufficientlytemperateatsupper。Donotletittroubleyou，dearest，Iamsureyouloveme。Donottrytoforcenature，youwillonlyweakenyourselfmore。Ithinkagentlesleepwouldrestoreyourmanlypowersbetterthananything。Ican’tsleepmyself，butdon’tmindme。Sleep，wewillmakelovetogetherafterwards。"

Afterthoseexcellentandreasonablesuggestions，VeroniqueturnedherbacktomeandIfollowedherexample，butinvaindidI

endeavourtoobtainarefreshingslumber；naturewhichwouldnotgivemethepowerofmakingher，theloveliestcreature，happy，enviedmethepowerofreposeaswell。Myamorousardourandmyrageforbadeallthoughtsofrest，andmyexcitedpassionsconspiredagainstthatwhichwouldenablethemtosatisfythe