第46章

"Youknownotwhatsheislike。Thehonourofthefamilywouldobligehertogetmeoutoftheway，butbeforethatshewouldmakemesuffertormentstowhichdeathispreferablebyfar。Butwhyhaveyousaidnomoreaboutthearoph？Isitnotallajest？Itwouldbeaverycruelone。"

"Onthecontrary，Ibelieveittobeinfallible，thoughIhaveneverbeenawitnessofitseffects；butwhatgoodisitformetospeaktoyou？Youcanguessthatadelicacyoffeelinghasmademekeepsilence。Confideinyourlover，whoisatVenice；writehimaletter，andIwilltakecarethatitisgivenintohishands，infiveorsixdays，byasuremessenger。IfheisnotwelloffIwillgiveyouwhatevermoneymaybeneededforhimtocomewithoutdelay，andsaveyourhonourandlifebygivingyouthearoph。"

"Thisideaisagoodoneandtheoffergenerousonyourpart，butitisnotfeasible，asyouwouldseeifyouknewmoreaboutmycircumstances。Donotthinkanymoreofmylover；butsupposingI

madeupmymindtoreceivethearophfromanother，tellmehowitcouldbedone。EvenifmyloverwereinParis，howcouldhespendanentireweekwithme，ashewouldhaveto？Andhowcouldhegivemethedosefiveorsixtimesadayforaweek？Youseeyourselfthatthisremedyisoutofthequestion。"

"Soyouwouldgiveyourselftoanother，ifyouthoughtthatwouldsaveyourhonour？"

"Certainly，ifIweresurethatthethingwouldbekeptsecret。ButwhereshallIfindsuchaperson？Doyouthinkhewouldbeeasytofind，orthatIcangoandlookforhim？"

Ididnotknowwhattomakeofthisspeech；forsheknewIlovedher，andIdidnotseewhysheshouldputherselftothetroubleofgoingfarwhenwhatshewantedwastoherhand。Iwasinclinedtothinkthatshewantedmetoaskhertomakechoiceofmyselfastheadministratoroftheremedy，eithertosparehermodesty，ortohavethemeritofyieldingtomyloveandthusobligingmetobegrateful；

butImightbewrong，andIdidnotcaretoexposemyselftothehumiliationofarefusal。OntheotherhandIcouldhardlythinkshewantedtoinsultme。Notknowingwhattosayorwhichwaytoturn，，andwantingtodrawanexplanationfromher，Isighedprofoundly，tookupmyhat，andmadeasifIweregoing，exclaiming，"Cruelgirl，mylotismorewretchedthanyours。"

Sheraisedherselfinthebedandbeggedmewithtearsinhereyestoremain，andaskedmehowIcouldcallmyselfmorewretchedthanher。

Pretendingtobeannoyedandyetfullofloveforher，Itoldherthatthecontemptinwhichsheheldmehadaffectedmedeeply，sinceinhernecessityshepreferredtheofficesofonewhowasunknowntoherratherthanmakeuseofme。

"Youarecruelandunjust，"shesaid，weeping。"Isee，formypart，thatyoulovemenolongersinceyouwishtotakeadvantageofmycruelnecessitytogainatriumphoverme。Thisisanactofrevengenotworthyofamanoffeeling。"

Hertearssoftenedme，andIfellonmykneesbeforeher。

"Sinceyouknow，dearest，thatIworshipyou，howcanyouthinkmecapableofrevengingmyselfonyou？DoyouthinkthatIcanbeartohearyousaythatsinceyourlovercannothelpyouyoudonotknowwheretolookforhelp？"

"Butafterrefusingyoumyfavours，couldIaskthisofficeofyouwithanydecency？HaveInotgoodreasontobeafraidthatasI

refusedtotakepityonyourlovesoyouwouldrefusetotakepityonmynecessity？"

"Doyouthinkthatapassionateloverceasestoloveonaccountofarefusalwhichmaybedictatedbyvirtue？LetmetellyouallI

think。IconfessIoncethoughtyoudidnotloveme，butnowIamsureofthecontrary；andthatyourheartwouldhaveledyoutosatisfymylove，evenifyouhadnotbeenthussituated。Imayaddthatyounodoubtfeelvexedatmyhavinganydoubtsofyourlove。"

"Youhaveinterpretedmyfeelingsadmirably。Buthowwearetobetogetherwiththenecessaryfreedomfromobservationremainstobeseen。"

"Donotbeafraid。NowIamsureofyourconsent，itwillnotbelongbeforeIcontrivesomeplan。InthemeanwhileIwillgoandmakethearoph。"

IhadresolvedthatifeverIsucceededinpersuadingMdlle。X。C。V。

tomakeuseofmyspecificIwouldusenothingbuthoney，sothecompositionofthearophwouldnotbeaverycomplicatedprocess。

Butifonepointwasthenplainandsimple，anotherremainedtobesolved，anditssolutiongavemesomedifficulty。Ishouldhavetopassseveralnightsincontinualtoils。IfearedIhadpromisedmorethanIcouldperform，andIshouldnotbeabletomakeanyabatementwithouthazarding，notthesuccessofthearoph，buttheblissIhadtakensuchpainstowin。Again，asheryoungersistersleptinthesameroomwithherandclosetoher，theoperationcouldnotbeperformedthere。Atlastchance——adivinitywhichoftenhelpslovers——cametomyaid。

Iwasobligedtoclimbuptothefourthfloorandmetthesculliononmyway，whoguessedwhereIwasgoing，andbeggedmenottogoanyfartherastheplacewastaken。

"But，"saidI，"youhavejustcomeoutofit。"

"Yes，butIonlywentinandcameoutagain。"

"ThenIwillwaittillthecoastisclear。"

"Forgoodness’sake，sir，donotwait！"

"Ah，yourascal！Iseewhatisgoingon。WellIwillsaynothingaboutit，butImustseeher。"

"Shewon’tcomeout，forsheheardyourstepsandshutherselfin。"

"Sheknowsme，doesshe？"

"Yes，andyouknowher。"

"Allright，getalongwithyou！Iwon’tsayanythingaboutit。"

Hewentdown，andtheideaimmediatelystruckmethattheadventuremightbeusefultome。Iwentuptothetop，andthroughachinkI

sawMadelaine，Mdlle。X。C。V。’smaid。Ireassuredher，andpromisedtokeepthesecret，whereonsheopenedthedoor，andafterIhadgivenheralouis，fledinsomeconfusion。Soonafter，Icamedown，andthescullionwhowaswaitingformeonthelandingbeggedmetomakeMadelainegivehimhalfthelouis。

"Iwillgiveyouonealltoyourself，"saidI，"ifyouwilltellmethestory"——anofferwhichpleasedtheroguewellenough。Hetoldmethetaleofhisloves，andsaidhealwaysspentthenightwithherinthegarret，butthatforthreedaystheyhadbeendeprivedoftheirpleasures，asmadamhadlockedthedoorandtakenawaythekey。I

madehimshewmetheplace，andlookingthroughthekeyholeIsawthattherewasplentyofroomforamattress。IgavethescullionaLouis，andwentawaytoripenmyplans。

Itseemedtomethattherewasnoreasonwhythemistressshouldnotsleepinthegarretaswellasthemaid。Igotapicklockandseveralskeletonkeys，Iputinatinboxseveraldosesofthearoph—

thatis，somehoneymixedwithpoundedstag’shorntomakeitthickenough，andthenextmorningIwenttothe"HoteldeBretagne，"andimmediatelytriedmypicklock。Icouldhavedonewithoutit，asthefirstskeletonkeyItriedopenedthewornoutlock。

Proudofmyidea，IwentdowntoseeMdlle。X。C。V。，andinafewwordstoldhertheplan。

"But，"saidshe，"IshouldhavetogothroughMadelaine’sroomtogettothegarret。"

"Inthatcase，dearest，wemustwinthegirlover。"

"Tellhermysecret？"

"Justso。"

"Oh，Icouldn’t！"

"Iwillseetoit；thegoldenkeyopensalldoors。"

ThegirlconsentedtoallIaskedher，butthesculliontroubledme，forifhefoundusouthemightbedangerous。Ithought，however，thatImighttrusttoMadelaine，whowasagirlofwit，tolookafterhim。

BeforegoingItoldthegirlthatIwantedtodiscusssomeimportantmatterswithher，andItoldhertomeetmeinthecloistersoftheAugustinianChurch。ShecameattheappointedtimeandIexplainedtoherthewholeplaninallitsdetails。Shesoonunderstoodme，andaftertellingmethatshewouldtakecaretoputherownbedinthenewkindofboudoir，sheaddedthat，tobequitesafe，wemustmakesureofthescullion。

"Heisasharplad，"saidMadelaine，"andIthinkIcananswerforhim。However，youmayleavethattome。"

Igaveherthekeyandsixlouis，biddingherinformhermistressofwhatwehadagreedupon，andgetthegarretreadytoreceiveus。Shewentawayquitemerry。Amaidwhoisinloveisneversohappyaswhenshecanmakehermistressprotectherintrigues。

Nextmorningthescullioncalledonmeatmyhouse。ThefirstthingItoldhimwastotakecarenottobetrayhimselftomyservants，andnevertocomeandseemeexceptinacaseofnecessity。Hepromiseddiscretion，andassuredmeofhisdevotiontomyservice。Hegavemethekeyofthegarretandtoldmethathehadgotanother。Iadmiredhisforethought，andgavehimapresentofsixlouis，whichhadmoreeffectonhimthanthefinestwords。

NextmorningIonlysawMdlle。X。C。V。foramomenttowarnherthatIshouldbeattheappointedplaceattenthatevening。Iwentthereearlywithoutbeingseenbyanybody。Iwasinacloak，andcarriedinmypocketthearoph，flintandsteel，andacandle。Ifoundagoodbed，pillows，andathickcoverlet——averyusefulprovision，asthenightswerecold，andweshouldrequiresomesleepintheintervalsoftheoperation。

Atelevenaslightnoisemademyheartbegintobeat——alwaysagoodsign。Iwentout，andfoundmymistressbyfeelingforher，andreassuredherbyatenderkiss。Ibroughtherin，barricadedthedoor，andtookcaretocoverupthekeyholetobafflethecurious，and，iftheworsehappened，toavoidasurprise。

Onmylightingthecandlesheseemeduneasy，andsaidthatthelightmightdiscoverusifanybodycameuptothefourthfloor。

"That’snotlikely，"Isaid；"andbesides，wecan’tdowithoutit，forhowamItogiveyouthearophinthedark？"

"Verygood，"shereplied，"wecanputitoutafterwards。"

Withoutstayingforthosepreliminarydallyingswhicharesosweetwhenoneisatease，weundressedourselves，andbeganwithallseriousnesstoplayourpart，whichwedidtoperfection。Welookedlikeamedicalstudentabouttoperformanoperation，andshelikeapatient，withthisdifferencethatitwasthepatientwhoarrangedthedressing。Whenshewasready——thatis，whenshehadplacedthearophasneatlyasaskull—capfitsaparson——sheputherselfintheproperpositionforthepreparationtomixwiththesemen。

Themostlaughablepartofitallwasthatwewerebothasseriousastwodoctorsofdivinity。

Whentheintroductionofthearophwasperfectthetimidladyputoutthecandle，butafewminutesafterithadtobelightedagain。I

toldherpolitelythatIwasdelightedtobeginagain，andthevoiceinwhichIpaidherthiscomplimentmadeusbothburstintolaughter。

Ididn’ttakesoshortatimeovermysecondoperationasmyfirst，andmysweetheart，whohadbeenalittleputout，wasnowquiteatherease。

Hermodestyhadnowbeenreplacedbyconfidence，andasshewaslookingatthearophfittedinitsplace，sheshewedmewithherprettyfingerveryevidentsignsofherco—operationinthework。

Thenwithanaffectionateair，sheaskedmeifIwouldnotliketorest，aswehadstillagooddealtodobeforeourworkwasatanend。

"Yousee，"saidI，"thatIdonotneedrest，andIthinkwehadbettersettoagain。"

Nodoubtshefoundmyreasonagoodone，for，withoutsayinganything，sheputherselfreadytobeginagain，andafterwardswetookagoodlongsleep。WhenIwokeup，feelingasfreshasever，I

askedhertotryanotheroperation；andaftercarryingthisthroughsuccessfully，Ideterminedtobeguidedbyherandtakecareofmyself，forwehadtoreserveourenergiesforthefollowingnights。

So，aboutfouro’clockinthemorningsheleftme，andsoftlymadeherwaytoherroom，andatdaybreakIleftthehotelundertheprotectionofthescullion，whotookmebyaprivatedoorIdidnotknowof。

Aboutnoon，aftertakinganaromaticbath，IwenttocallonMdlle。

X。C。V。，whomIfoundsittingupinbedasusual，elegantlyattired，andwithahappysmileonherlips。Shespokeatsuchlengthonhergratitude，andthankedmesooften，that，believingmyself，andwithgoodcause，tobeherdebtor，Ibegantogetimpatient。

"Isitpossible，"Isaid，"thatyoudonotseehowdegradingyourthanksaretome？Theyprovethatyoudonotloveme，orthatifyouloveme，youthinkmylovelessstrongthanyours。"

Ourconversationthentookatenderturn，andwewereabouttosealourmutualardourswithouttroublingaboutthearoph，whenprudencebadeusbeware。Itwouldnothavebeensafe，andwehadplentyoftimebeforeus。Wecontentedourselveswithatenderembracetillthenightshouldcome。

Mysituationwasapeculiarone，forthoughIwasinlovewiththischarminggirlIdidnotfeelintheleastashamedofhavingdeceivedher，especiallyaswhatIdidcouldhavenoeffect，theplacebeingtaken。Itwasmyself—esteemwhichmademecongratulatemyselfonthesharppracticewhichhadprocuredmesuchpleasures。ShetoldmethatshewassorryshehaddeniedmewhenIhadaskedherbefore，andsaidthatshefeltnowthatIhadgoodreasontosuspecttherealityofherlove。Ididmybesttoreassureher，andindeedallsuspicionsonmypartwouldhavebeenbutidlethoughts，asIhadsucceededbeyondallexpectation。However，thereisonepointuponwhichIcongratulatemyselftothisday——namely，thatduringthosenightlytoilsofmine，whichdidsolittletowardstheobjectofherdesires，Isucceededininspiringherwithsuchafeelingofresignationthatshepromised，ofherownaccord，nottodespairanymore，buttotrustinandbeguidedbyme。Sheoftentoldmeduringournocturnalconversationsthatshewashappyandwouldcontinuetobeso，eventhoughthearophhadnoeffect。Notthatshehadceasedtobelieveinit，forshecontinuedtheapplicationoftheharmlesspreparationtillourlastassaults，inwhichwewantedinthosesweetcombatstoexhaustallthegiftsofpleasure。

"Sweetheart，"saidshe，justbeforewepartedfinally，"itseemstomethatwhatwehavebeenaboutismuchmorelikelytocreatethantodestroy，andiftheaperturehadnotbeenhermeticallyclosedweshoulddoubtlesshavegiventhelittleprisoneracompanion。"

AdoctoroftheSorbonnecouldnothavereasonedbetter。

ThreeorfourdaysafterwardsIfoundherthoughtfulbutquiet。Shetoldmethatshehadlostallhopeofgettingridofherburdenbeforethepropertime。Allthewhile，however，hermotherpersecutedher，andshewouldhavetochooseinafewdaysbetweenmakingadeclarationastoherstateandsigningthemarriagecontract。Shewouldacceptneitherofthesealternatives，andhaddecidedonescapingfromherhome，andaskedmetohelpherindoingso。

Ihaddeterminedtohelpher，butIdesiredtosavemyreputation，foritmighthavebeentroublesomeifithadbeenabsolutelyknownthatIhadcarriedherofforfurnishedherwiththemeanstoescape。

Andasforanyotheralternative，neitherofushadanyideaofmatrimony。

IleftherandwenttotheTuileries，whereasacredconcertwasbeinggiven。ThepiecewasamotetcomposedbyMoudonville，thewordsbytheAbbedeVoisenon，whomIhadfurnishedwiththeidea，"TheIsraelitesonMountHoreb。"

AsIwasgettingoutofmycarriage，IsawMadameduRemaindescendingalonefromhers。Iranup。toher，andreceivedaheartywelcome。"Iamdelighted，"saidshe，"tofindyouhere，itisquiteapieceofluck。Iamgoingtohearthisnovelcomposition，andhavetworeservedseats。Willyoudomethehonourofacceptingone？"

AlthoughIhadmyticketinmypocketIcouldnotrefusesohonourableanoffer，so，givinghermyarm，wewalkeduptotwoofthebestplacesinthehouse。

AtParisnotalkingisallowedduringtheperformanceofsacredmusic，especiallywhenthepieceisheardforthefirsttime；soMadameduRemaincoulddrawnoconclusionsfrommysilencethroughouttheperformance，butsheguessedthatsomethingwasthematterfromthetroubledandabsentexpressionofmyface，whichwasbynomeansnaturaltome。

"M。Casanova，"saidshe，"begoodenoughtogivemeyourcompanyforanhour。Iwanttoaskyou—twoorthreequestionswhichcanonlybesolvedbyyourcabala。Ihopeyouwillobligeme，asIam，veryanxioustoknowtheanswers，butwemustbequickasIhaveanengagementtosupinParis。"

ItmaybeimaginedthatIdidnotwaittobeaskedtwice，andassoonaswegottoherhouseIwenttoworkonthequestions，andsolvedthemallinlessthanhalfanhour。

WhenIhadfinished，"M。Casanova；"saidshe，inthekindestmannerpossible，"whatisthematterwithyou？Youarenotinyourusualstateofequanimity，andifIamnotmistakenyouaredreadingsomedireevent。Orperhapsyouareontheeveoftakingsomeimportantresolution？Iamnotinquisitive，butifIcanbeofanyservicetoyouatCourt，makeuseofme，andbesurethatIwilldomybest。Ifnecessary，IwillgotoVersaillesto—morrowmorning。Iknowalltheministers。Confideinmeyourtroubles，ifIcannotlightenthemI

canatleastsharethem，andbesureIwillkeepyourcounsel。

Herwordsseemedtomeavoicefromheaven，awarningfrommygoodgeniustoopenmyhearttothislady，whohadalmostreadmythoughts，andhadsoplainlyexpressedherinterestinmywelfare。

Aftergazingatherforsomesecondswithoutspeaking，butwithamannerthatshewedherhowgratefulIwas，"Yesmadam，"Isaid，"Iamindeedcriticallysituated，maybeonthesergeofruin，butyourkindnesshascalmedmysoulandmademeoncemoreacquaintedwithhope。YoushallhearhowIamplaced。Iamgoingtotrustyouwithasecretofthemostdelicatedescription，butIcanrelyonyourbeingasdiscreetasyouaregood。Andifafterhearingmystoryyoudeigntogivemeyouradvice，Ipromisetofollowitandnevertodivulgeitsauthor。"

Afterthisbeginning，whichgainedhercloseattention，Itoldherallthecircumstancesofthecase，neitherconcealingtheyounglady’snamenoranyofthecircumstanceswhichmadeitmydutytowatchoverherwelfare。AllthesameIsaidnothingaboutthearophortheshareIhadtakeninitsexhibition。Theincidentappearedtometoofarcicalforaseriousdrama，butIconfessedthatIhadprocuredthegirldrugsinthehopeofrelievingherofherburden。

AfterthisweightycommunicationIstopped，andMadameduRumainremainedsilent，asiflostinthought，fornearlyaquarterofanhour。Atlastsherose，saying，"IamexpectedatMadamedelaMarque’s，andImustgo，asIamtomeettheBishopofMontrouge，towhomIwanttospeak，butIhopeI

shalleventuallybeabletohelpyou。Comeherethedayaftertomorrow，youwillfindmealone；aboveall，donothingbeforeyouseeme。Farewell。"

Ileftherfullofhope，andresolvedtofollowheradviceandhersonlyinthetroublesomeaffairinwhichIwasinvolved。

TheBishopofMontrougewhomshewasgoingtoaddressonanimportantmatter，thenatureofwhichwaswellknowntome，wastheAbbedeVoisenon，whowasthusnamedbecauseheoftenwentthere。MontrougeisanestatenearParis，belongingtotheDucdelaValiere。

IsawMdlle。X。C。V。thefollowingday，andcontentedmyselfwithtellingherthatinacoupleofdaysIhopetogivehersomegoodnews。Iwaspleasedwithhermanner，whichwasfullofresignationandtrustinmyendeavours。

Thedayafter，IwenttoMadameduRumain’spunctuallyateight。TheportertoldmethatIshouldfindthedoctorwithmylady，butIwentupstairsallthesame，andassoonasthedoctorsawmehetookhisleave。HisnamewasHerrenschwand，andalltheladiesinParisranafterhim。PoorPoinsinetputhiminalittleone—actplaycalledLeCercle，which，thoughofveryordinarymerit，wasagreatsuccess。

"Mydearsir，"saidMadameduRumain，assoonaswewerealone，"I

havesucceededinmyendeavoursonyourbehalf，anditisnowforyoutokeepsecretmyshareinthematter。AfterIhadponderedoverthecaseofconscienceyousubmittedtome，IwenttotheconventofC———

wheretheabbessisafriendofmine，andIentrustedherwiththesecret，relyi