第95章

Asamatteroffact，Ihadnoneedofmoney。Ihadplayedwithmoderation，andmyprofitsamountedtonearlyfourhundredlouis。WhentheluckturnedagainstmeIwaswiseenoughtoturnmybackontheboard。AlthoughthebruisethatMercyhadgivenmewasstillapparent，I

escortedthemarchionesstothetables，andthereshedrewalleyesuponher。Shewasfondofpiquet，andweplayedtogetherforsmallstakesforsometime。Intheendshelosttwentycrownstome，andIwasforcedtotakethemoneyforfearofoffendingher。

WhenwewentbackwemetCroceandConti，whohadbothwon——ContiascoreoflouisatFaro，andCrocemorethanahundredguineasat’passedix’，whichhehadbeenplayingataclubofEnglishmen。Iwasmorelivelyatsupperthandinner，andexcitedCharlottetolaughterbymywit。

HenceforththePolesandtheTomatisonlysawmeatintervals。Iwasinlovewiththefairmarchioness，andeverybodysaiditwasverynatural。

Whenaweekhadelapsed，Croce，findingthatthepigeonswouldnotcometobeplucked，despitethesuppershegave，wenttothepublicroom，andlostcontinually。Hewasasusedtolossastogain，andhisspiritswereunaltered；hewasstillgay，stillatewellanddrankbetter，andcaressedhisvictim，whohadnosuspicionsofwhatwasgoingon。

Ilovedher，butdidnotdaretorevealmypassion，fearinglestitshouldbeunrequited；andIwasafraidtotellherofCroce’slosseslestsheshouldputdownmyactiontosomeulteriormotive；infine，Iwasafraidtolosethetrustshehadalreadybeguntoplaceinme。

AttheendofthreeweeksConti，whohadplayedwithprudenceandsuccess，leftCroceandsetoutforVeronawithhiswifeandservant。A

fewdayslaterCharlottedismissedhermaid，sendingherbacktoLiege，hernativetown。

TowardsthemiddleofSeptemberallthePolishpartylefttheSpaforParis，whereIpromisedtorejointhem。IonlystayedforCharlotte’ssake；Iforesawacatastrophe，andIwouldnotabandonher。EverydayCrocelostheavily，andatlasthewasobligedtosellhisjewellery。

ThencameCharlotte’sturn；shehadtogiveupherwatches，ear—rings，herrings，andallthejewelsshehad。Helosteverything，butthiswonderfulgirlwasasaffectionateasever。Tomakeafinishhedespoiledherofherlaceandherbestgowns，andthensellinghisownwardrobehewenttohislastfightwithfortune，providedwithtwohundredLouis。Heplayedlikeamadman，withoutcommon—senseorprudence，andlostall。

Hispocketswereempty，andseeingmehebeckonedtome，andIfollowedhimoutoftheSpa。

"Myfriend，"hebegan，"Ihavetwoalternatives，IcankillmyselfthisinstantorIcanflywithoutreturningtothehouse。IshallembracethelatterandgotoWarsawonfoot，andIleavemywifeinyourhands，forI

knowyouadoreher。ItmustbeyourtasktogiveherthedreadfulnewsofthepasstowhichIhavecome。Haveacareofher，sheistoogoodbyfarforapoorwretchlikeme。TakehertoParisandIwillwritetoyouthereatyourbrother’saddress。Iknowyouhavemoney，butIwoulddieratherthanacceptasinglelouisfromyou。Ihavestilltwoorthreepiecesleft，andIassureyouthatIamricheratthepresentmomentthanIwastwomonthsago。Farewell；oncemoreIcommendCharlottetoyourcare；Iwouldthatshehadneverknownme。"

Withthesewordsheshedtears，andembracingmewenthisway。Iwasstupefiedatwhatlaybeforeme。

Ihadtoinformapregnantwomanthatthemanshedearlylovedhaddesertedher。Theonlythoughtthatsupportedmeinthatmomentwasthatitwouldbedoneforloveofher，andIfeltthankfulthatIhadsufficientmeanstosecureherfromprivation。

Iwenttothehouseandtoldherthatwemightdineatonce，asthemarquiswouldbeengagedtilltheevening。Shesighed，wishedhimluck，andweproceededtodine。Idisguisedmyemotionssowellthatsheconceivednosuspicion。Afterthemealwasover，IaskedhertowalkwithmeinthegardenoftheCapuchinMonastery，whichwascloseathand。

ToprepareherforthefatalnewsIaskedherifshewouldapproveofherloverexposinghimselftoassassinationforthesakeofbiddingadieutoherratherthanmakinghisescape。

"Ishouldblamehimfordoingso，"shereplied。"Heoughttoescapebyallmeans，ifonlytosavehislifeformysake。Hasmyhusbanddoneso？

Speakopenlytome。Myspiritisstrongenoughtoresistevensofatalablow，forIknowIhaveafriendinyou。Speak。"

"Well，Iwilltellyouall。Butfirstofallrememberthis；youmustlookuponmeasatenderfatherwhowillneverletyouwant，solongasliferemainstohim。"

"InthatcaseIcannotbecalledunfortunate，forIhaveatruefriend。

Sayon。"

ItoldallthatCrocehadtoldme，notomittinghislastwords:"I

commendCharlottetoyourcare；Iwouldthatshehadneverknownme。"

Forafewminutessheremainedmotionless，asoneturnedintostone。Byherattitude，byherlabouredandunequalbreath，Icoulddivinesomewhatofthebattlebetweenlove，andanger，andsorrow，andpity，thatwasraginginthenoblebreast。Iwascuttotheheart。Atlastshewipedawaythebigtearsthatbegantotrickledownhercheeks，andturningtomesighedandsaid，——

"Dearfriend，sinceIcancountonyou，Iamfarindeedfromuttermisery。"

"Isweartoyou，Charlotte，thatIwillneverleaveyoutillIplaceyouagaininyourhusband’shands，providedIdonotdiebefore。"

"Thatisenough。Isweareternalgratitude，andtobeassubmissivetoyouasagooddaughteroughttobe。"

Thereligionandphilosophywithwhichherheartandmindwerefortified，thoughshemadenoparadeofeither，begantocalmherspirit，andsheproceededtomakesomereflectionsonCroce’sunhappylot，butallinpitynotinanger，excusinghisinveteratepassionforplay。ShehadoftenheardfromCroce’slipsthestoryoftheMarseillesgirlwhomhehadleftpennilessinaninnatMilan，commendinghertomycare。ShethoughtitsomethingwonderfulthatIshouldagainbeinterveningasthetutelarygenius；buthersituationwasmuchtheworse，forshewaswithchild。

"There’sanotherdifference，"Iadded，"forImadethefortuneofthefirstbyfindingheranhonesthusband，whereasIshouldneverhavethecouragetoadoptthesamemethodwiththesecond。"

"WhileCrocelivesIamnoman’swifebuthis，neverthelessIamgladtofindmyselffree。"

Whenwewerebackinthehouse，IadvisedhertosendawaytheservantandtopayhisjourneytoBesanion，whereshehadtakenhim。Thusallunpleasantnesswouldbeavoided。Imadehersellallthatremainedofherpoorlover’swardrobe，asalsohiscarriage，forminewasabetterone。Sheshewedmeallshehadleft，whichonlyamountedtosomesetsoflinenandthreeorfourdresses。

WeremainedatSpawithoutgoingoutofdoors。Shecouldseethatmylovewasatendererpassionthantheloveofafather，andshetoldmeso，andthatshewasobligedtomefortherespectwithwhichItreatedher。Wesattogetherforhours，shefoldedinmyarms，whilstIgentlykissedherbeautifuleyes，andaskednomore。Iwashappyinhergratitudeandinmypowersofself—restraint。WhentemptationwastoostrongIleftthebeautifulgirltillIwasmyselfagain，andsuchconquestsmademeproud。Intheaffectionbetweenustherewassomewhatofthepurityofaman’sfirstlove。

Iwantedasmalltravellingcap，andtheservantofthehousewenttomyformerlodgingtoorderone。Mercybroughtseveralformetochoosefrom。Sheblushedwhenshesawme，butIsaidnothingtoher。WhenshehadgoneItoldCharlottethewholestory，andshelaughedwithallherheartwhenIremindedherofthebruiseonmyfacewhenwefirstmet，andinformedherthatMercyhadgivenitme。Shepraisedmyfirmnessinrejectingherrepentance，andagreedwithmeinthinkingthatthewholeplanhadbeenconcertedbetweenherandheraunt。

WeleftSpawithoutanyservant，andwhenwereachedLiegewetookthewayoftheArdennes，asshewasafraidofbeingrecognizedifwepassedthroughBrussels。AtLuxemburgweengagedaservant，whoattendedonustillwereachedParis。AllthewayCharlottewastenderandaffectionate，butherconditionprescribedlimitstoherlove，andI

couldonlylookforwardtothetimeafterherdelivery。WegotdownatParisatthe"HotelMontmorenci，"inthestreetofthesamename。

Parisstruckmequiteasanewplace。Madamed’Urfewasdead，myfriendshadchangedtheirhousesandtheirfortunes；thepoorhadbecomerichandtherichpoor，newstreetsandbuildingswererisingonallsides；I

hardlyknewmywayaboutthetown。Everythingwasdearer；povertywasrampant，andluxuryatithighestpitch。PerhapsParisistheonlycitywheresogreatachangecouldtakeplaceinthecourseoffiveorsixyears。

ThefirstcallImadewasonMadameduRumain，whowasdelightedtoseeme。Irepaidherthemoneyshehadsokindlylentmeinthetimeofmydistress。Shewaswellinhealth，butharassedbysomanyanxietiesandprivatetroublesthatshesaidProvidencemusthavesentmetohertorelieveherofallhergriefsbymycabala。ItoldherthatIwouldwaitonheratanyhourorhours；andthis，indeed，wastheleastIcoulddoforthewomanwhohadbeensokindtome。

MybrotherhadgonetoliveintheFaubourgSt。Antoine。Bothheandhiswife（whoremainedconstanttohim，despitehisphysicaldisability）wereoverjoyedtoseeme，andentreatedmetocomeandstopwiththem。ItoldthemIshouldbegladtodoso，assoonastheladywhohadtravelledwithmehadgotoverherconfinement。Ididnotthinkpropertotellthemherstory，andtheyhadthedelicacytorefrainfromquestioningmeonthesubject。ThesamedayIcalledonPrincessLubomirskaandTomatis，beggingthemnottotakeitamissifmyvisitswerefewandfarbetween，astheladytheyhadseenatSpawasapproachingherconfinement，anddemandedallmycare。

AfterthedischargeofthesedutiesIremainedconstantlybyCharlotte’sside。OnOctober8thIthoughtitwouldbewelltotakehertoMadameLamarre，amidwife，wholivedintheFaubourgSt。Denis，andCharlottewasofthesameopinion。Wewenttogether，shesawtheroom，thebed，andheardhowshewouldbetendedandlookedafter，forallofwhichI

wouldpay。Atnightfallwedrovetotheplace，withatrunkcontainingallhereffects。

AswewereleavingtheRueMontmorenciourcarriagewasobligedtostoptoallowthefuneralofsomerichmantogoby。Charlottecoveredherfacewithherhandkerchief，andwhisperedinmyear，"Dearest，Iknowitisafoolishsuperstition，buttoawomaninmyconditionsuchameetingisofevilomen。"

"What，Charlotte！Ithoughtyouweretoowisetohavesuchsillyfears。

Awomaninchild—bedisnotasickwoman，andnowomaneverdiedofgivingbirthtoachildexceptsomeotherdiseaseintervened。"

"Yes，mydearphilosopher，itislikeaduel；therearetwomeninperfecthealth，whenallofasuddentherecomesasword—thrust，andoneofthemisdead。"

"That’sawittyidea。Butbidallgloomythoughtsgoby，andafteryourchildisborn，andwehaveplaceditingoodhands，youshallcomewithmetoMadrid，andthereIhopetoseeyouhappyandcontented。"

AllthewayIdidmybesttocheerher，forIknewonlytoowellthefataleffectsofmelancholyonapregnantwoman，especiallyinsuchadelicategirlasCharlotte。

WhenIsawhercompletelysettledIreturnedtothehotel，andthenextdayItookupmyquarterswithmybrother。However，aslongasmyCharlottelived，Ionlysleptathishouse，forfromnineinthemorningtillaftermidnightIwaswithmydear。

OnOctober13thCharlottewasattackedwithafeverwhichneverlefther。

Onthe17thshewashappilydeliveredofaboy，whichwasimmediatelytakentothechurchandbaptizedattheexpresswishesofthemother。

Charlottewrotedownwhatitsnamewastobe——Jacques（afterme），Charles（afterher），sonofAntoniodellaCroceandofCharlottede（shegaveherrealname）。WhenitwasbroughtfromthechurchshetoldMadameLamarretocarryittotheFoundlingHospital，withthecertificateofbaptisminitslinen。Ivainlyendeavouredtopersuadehertoleavethecareofthechildtome。Shesaidthatifitlivedthefathercouldeasilyreclaimit。Onthesameday，October18th，the，midwifegavemethefollowingcertificate，whichIstillpossess:

Itwaswordedasfollows:

"We，J。B。Dorival，CouncillortotheKing，CommissaryoftheChatelet，formerlySuperintendentofPoliceintheCityofParis，docertifythattherehasbeentakentotheHospitalforChildrenamaleinfant，appearingtobeonedayold，broughtfromtheFaubourgSt。DenisbythemidwifeLamarre，andbearingacertificateofbaptismtotheeffectthatitsnameisJacquesCharles，sonofAntoniodellaCroceandofCharlottede————。Wherefore，wehavedeliveredtheabovecertificateatourofficeintheCityofParis，this18thdayofOctober，intheyearofourLord，1767，atseveno’clockintheafternoon。

"DORIVAL。"

Ifanyofmyreadershaveanycuriositytoknowtherealnameofthemother，Ihavegiventhemthemeansofsatisfyingit。

AfterthisIdidnotleavethebedoftheinvalidforasingleinstant。

Inspiteofallthedoctor’scarethefeverincreased，andatfiveo’clockinthemorningofOctober26th，shesuccumbedtoit。Anhourbeforeshesighedherlast，shebademethelastfarewellinthepresenceofthevenerableecclesiasticwhohadconfessedheratmidnight。ThetearswhichgatherfastasIwritethesewordsareprobablythelasthonoursIshallpaytothispoorvictimofamanwhoisstillalive，andwhosedestinyseemedtobetomakewomenunhappy。

IsatweepingbythebedofherIlovedsodearly，andinvainMadameLamarretriedtoinducemetocomeandsitwithher。Ilovedthepoorcorpsebetterthanalltheworldoutside。

Atnoonmybrotherandhiswifecametoseeme；theyhadnotseenmeforaweek，andweregettinganxious。Theysawthebodylovelyindeath；

theyunderstoodmytears，andmingledtheirswithmine。AtlastIaskedthemtoleaveme，andIremainedallnightbyCharlotte’sbed，resolvednottoleaveittillherbodyhadbeenconsignedtothegrave。

Thedaybeforethismorningofunhappymemorymybrotherhadgivenmeseveralletters，butIhadnotopenedanyofthem。OnmyreturnfromthefuneralIproceededtodoso，andthefirstonewasfromM。Dandolo，announcingthedeathofM。deBragadin；butIcouldnotweep。Fortwenty—twoyearsM。deBragadinhadbeenasafathertome，livingpoorly，andevengoingintodebtthatImighthaveenough。Hecouldnotleavemeanything，ashispropertywasentailed，whilehisfurnitureandhislibrarywouldbecomethepreyofhiscreditors。Histwofriends，whoweremyfriendsalso，werepoor，andcouldgivemenothingbuttheirlove。Thedreadfulnewswasaccompaniedbyabillofexchangeforathousandcrowns，whichhehadsentmetwenty—fourhoursbeforehisdeath，foreseeingthatitwouldbethelastgifthewouldevermakeme。

Iwasoverwhelmed，andthoughtthatFortunehaddoneherworsttome。

Ispentthreedaysinmybrother’shousewithoutgoingout。OnthefourthIbegantopayanassiduouscourttoPrincessLubomirska，whohadwrittentheking，herbrother，aletterthatmusthavemortifiedhim，assheprovedbeyondadoubtthatthetaleshehadlistenedtoagainstmeweremerecalumny。Butyourkingsdonotallowsosmallathingtovexormortifythem。Besides，StanislasAugustushadjustreceivedadreadfulinsultfromRussia。Repnin’sviolenceinkidnappingthethreesenatorswhohadspokentheirmindsattheDietwasablowwhichmusthavepiercedthehaplesskingtotheheart。

TheprincesshadleftWarsawmorefromhatredthanlove；thoughsuchwasnotthegeneralopinion。AsIhaddecidedtovisittheCourtofMadridbeforegoingtoPortugal，theprincessgavemealetterofintroductiontothepowerfulCountofAranda；andtheMarquisCaraccioli，whowasstillatParis，gavemethreeletters，oneforPrincedelaCatolica，theNeapolitanambassadoratMadrid，onefortheDukeofLossada，theking’sfavouriteandlordhighsteward，andathirdfortheMarquisMoraPignatelli。

OnNovember4thIwenttoaconcertwithaticketthattheprincesshadgivenme。Whentheconcertwashalf—waythroughIheardmynamepronounced，accompaniedbyscornfullaughter。Iturnedroundandsawthegentlemanwhowasspeakingcontemptuouslyofme。Itwasatallyoungmansittingbetweentwomenadvancedinyears。Istaredhimintheface，butheturnedhisheadawayandcontinuedhisimpertinencies，saying，amongstotherthings，thatIhadrobbedhimofamillionfrancsatleastbymyswindlinghislateaunt，theMarchionessd’Urfe。

"Youareanimpudentliar，"Isaidtohim，"andifwewereoutofthisroomIwouldgiveyouakicktoteachyoutospeakrespectfully。"

WiththesewordsImademywayoutofthehall，andonturningmyheadroundIsawthatthetwoelderlymenwerekeepingtheyoungblockheadback。Igotintomycarriageandwaitedsometime，andashedidnotcomeIdrovetothetheatreandchancedtofindmyselfinthesameboxasMadameValville。Sheinformedmethatshehadlefttheboards，andwaskeptbytheMarquistheBrunel。

"Icongratulateyou，andwishyougoodluck。"

"Ihopeyouwillcometosupperatmyhouse。"

"Ishouldbeonlytoohappy，butunfortunatelyIhaveanengagement；butIwillcomeandseeyouifyouwillgivemeyouraddress。"

Sosaying，Islippedintoherhandarouleau，itbeingthefiftylouisI

owedher。

"Whatisthis？"

"ThemoneyyoulentmesokindlyatKonigsberg。"

"Thisisneitherthetimenortheplacetoreturnit。Iwillonlytakeitatmyownhouse，sopleasedonotinsist。"

Iputthemoneybackintomypocket，shegavemeheraddress，andIlefther。Ifelttoosadtovisitheralone。

Twodayslater，asIwasattablewithmybrother，mysister—in—law，andsomeyoungRussianswhomhewasteachingtopaint，IwastoldthataChevalierofSt。Louiswantedtospeaktomeintheantechamber。Iwentout，andhehandedmeapaperwithoutmakinganypreface。Iopenedthedocument，andfounditwassigned"Louis。"ThegreatkingorderedmetoleaveParisintwenty—fourhoursandhisrealmofFrancewithinthreeweeks，andthereasonassignedwas:"Itisourgoodpleasure。"

CHAPTERIII

MyDepartureFromParis——MyJourneytoMadrid——TheCountofAranda——ThePrincedelaCatolica——TheDukeofLossada——Mengs——ABall——MadamePichona——DonnaIgnazia"Well，chevalier，"Isaid，"Ihavereadthelittlenote，andIwilltryandobligehismajestyassoonaspossible。However，ifIhavenottimetogetawayintwenty—fourhours，hismajestymustworkhisdreadwillonme。"

"Mydearsir，thetwenty—fourhoursareamereformality。Subscribetheorderandgivemeareceiptforthelettredecachet，andyoucangoatyourconvenience。AllIaskofyouisthatyougivemeyourwordofhonournottogotothetheatresorpublicplacesofamusementonfoot。"

"Igiveyoumywordwithpleasure。"

Itookthechevaliertomyroomandgavehimthenecessaryacknowledgment，andwiththeobservationthathewouldbegladtoseemybrother，whomheknewalready，Iledhimintothedining—room，andexplainedwithacheerfulfacethepurportofhisvisit。

Mybrotherlaughedandsaid，——

"But，M。Buhot，thisnewsislikeMarchinLent，itwasquiteunnecessary；mybrotherwasgoinginthecourseofaweek。"

"Allthebetter。Iftheministerhadbeenawareofthathewouldnothavetroubledhimselfaboutit。"

"Isthereasonknown？"

"Ihaveheardsomethingaboutaproposaltokickagentleman，whothoughyoung，istooexaltedapersontobespokentoinsuchamanner。"

"Why，chevalier，"saidI，"thephraseisamereformalitylikethetwenty—fourhoursforiftheimpudentyoungrascalhadcomeouthewouldhavemetme，andhisswordshouldhavebeensufficienttowardoffanykicks。"

Ithentoldthewholestory，andBuhotagreedthatIwasintherightthroughout；addingthatthepolicewerealsointherighttopreventanyencounterbetweenus。HeadvisedmetogonextmorningandtellthetaletoM。deSartine，whoknewme，andwouldbegladtohavetheaccountfrommyownlips。Isaidnothing，asIknewthefamoussuperintendentofpolicetobeadreadfulsermoniser。

ThelettredecachetwasdatedNovember6th，andIdidnotleaveParistillthe20th。

Iinformedallmyfriendsofthegreathonourhismajestyhaddoneme，andIwouldnothearofMadameduRumainappealingtothekingonmybehalf，thoughshesaidshefeltcertainshecouldgettheorderrevoked。

TheDucdeChoiseulgavemeapostingpassportdatedNovember19th，whichIstillpreserve。

IleftPariswithoutanyservant，stillgrieving，thoughquietly，overCharlotte’sfate。IhadahundredLouisincash，andabillofexchangeonBordeauxforeightthousandfrancs。Ienjoyedperfecthealth，andalmostfeltasifIhadbeenrejuvenated。Ihadneedoftheutmostprudenceanddiscretionforthefuture。ThedeathsofM。deBragadinandMadamed’Urfehadleftmealoneintheworld，andIwasslowlybutsteadilyapproachingwhatiscalledacertainage，whenwomenbegintolookonamanwithcoldness。

IonlycalledonMadameV