第93章

"Weweretoopoortowritetooneanother，sowehadtosufferinsilence。"

Thispathetichistoryseemedtobearthemarksoftruth；andI

thoughtitverypossiblethatMatonhadonlycomewithmetomakeherfortuneortodoratherbetterthanshehadbeendoing，whichwouldnotbedifficult。Shewastwenty—fiveyearsold，andasshehadneverbeenoutofBreslaubefore，shewoulddoubtlessbedelightedtoseewhattheworldwaslikeatDresden。IcouldnothelpfeelingthatIhadbeenafooltoburdenmyselfwiththegirl，whowouldmostlikelycostmealotofmoney；butstillIfoundmyconductexcusable，asthechanceswereahundredtooneagainstheracceptingtheproposalIhadbeenfoolishenoughtomake。Inshort，Iresolvedtoenjoythepleasureofhavingaprettygirlalltomyself，andI

determinednottodoanythingduringthejourney，beinganxioustoseewhetherhermoralqualitieswouldpleadasstronglywithmeasherphysicalbeautyundoubtedlydid。AtnightfallIstopped，wishingtospendthenightattheposting—station。Maton，whohadbeenveryhungryallday，buthadnotdaredtotellmeso，atewithanamazingandpleasingappetite；butnotbeingaccustomedtowine，shewouldhavefallenasleepattable，ifIhadnotbeggedhertoretire。Shebeggedmypardon，assuringmeshewouldnotletsuchathingoccuragain。Ismiledbywayofreply，andstayedatthetable，notlookingtoseewhethersheundressedorwenttobedinherclothes。

Iwenttobedmyselfsoonafter，andatfiveo’clockwasupagaintoorderthecoffee，andtoseethatthehorseswereputin。Matonwaslyingonherbedwithallherclotheson，fastasleep，andperspiringwiththeheat。Iwokeher，tellingherthatanothertimeshemustsleepmorecomfortably，assuchheatswereinjurioustohealth。

Shegotupandlefttheroom，nodoubttowash，forshereturnedlookingfreshandgay，andbademegoodday，andaskedmeifIwouldliketogiveherakiss。

"Ishallbedelighted，"Ireplied；and，afterkissingher，Imadeherhurryoverthebreakfast，asIwishedtoreachDresdenthatevening。

However，Icouldnotmanageit，mycarriagebrokedown，andtookfivehourstomend，soIhadtosleepatanotherpostingstation。Matonundressedthistime，butIhadthefirmnessnottolookather。

WhenIreachedDresdenIputupatthe"HoteldeSaxe，"takingthewholeofthefirstfloor。Mymotherwasinthecountry，andIpaidheravisit，muchtoherdelight；wemadequiteanaffectingpicture，withmyarminasling。IalsosawmybrotherJohnandhiswifeTherese，Roland，andaRomangirlwhomIhadknownbeforehim，andwhomademuchofme。Ialsosawmysister，andIthenwentwithmybrothertopaymysuittoCountBruhlandtohiswife，thedaughterofthepalatinofKiowia，whowasdelightedtohearnewsofherfamily。Iwaswelcomedeverywhere，andeverywhereIhadtotellthestoryofmyduel。Iconfessthatverylittlepressingwasrequired，forIwasveryproudofit。

AtthisperiodtheStateswereassembledinDresden，andPrinceXavier，uncleoftheElector，wasregentduringhisminority。

ThesameeveningIwenttotheopera—house，wherefarowasplayed。I

played，butprudently，formycapitalonlyconsistedofeighteenhundredducats。

WhenIcamebackwehadagoodsupper，andMatonpleasedmebothbyherappetiteandamiability。WhenwehadfinishedIaffectionatelyaskedherifshewouldliketosharemybed，andsherepliedastenderlythatshewaswhollymine。Andso，afterpassingavoluptuousnight，weroseinthemorningthebestfriendsintheworld。

Ispentthewholemorninginfurnishinghertoilette。Agoodmanypeoplecalledonme，andwantedtobepresentedtoMaton；butmyanswerwasthat，asshewasonlymyhousekeeper，andnotmywife，I

couldnothavethepleasureofintroducingher。InthesamewayI

hadinstructedherthatshewasnottoletanyoneinwhenIwasaway。

ShewasworkinginherroomonthelinenIhadprovidedforher，aidedinhertaskbyaseamstress。Nevertheless，Ididnotwanttomakeheraslave，soIoccasionallytookherintothepleasantsuburbsofDresden，whereshewasatlibertytospeaktoanyofmyacquaintanceswemightmeet。

ThisreserveofminewhichlastedforthefortnightwestayedinDresdenwasmortifyingforalltheyoungofficersintheplace，andespeciallyfortheComtedeBellegarde，whowasnotaccustomedtobeingdeniedanygirltowhomhechosetotakeafancy。Hewasafineyoungfellow，ofgreatboldnessandevenimpudence，andonedayhecameintoourroomandaskedmetogivehimadinnerjustasMatonandmyselfweresittingdowntotable。Icouldnotrefusehim，andI

couldnotrequestMatontoleavetheroom，sofromthebeginningtotheendofthemealheshoweredhismilitaryjokesandattentionsonher，thoughhewasperfectlypolitethewholetime。Matonbehavedverywell；shewasnotprudish，nordidsheforgettherespectsheowedtomeandindeedtoherself。

Iwasaccustomedtotakeasiestaeverydayafterdinner，sohalfanhouraftertheconclusionofthemealIstatedthefactandbeggedhimtoleaveus。Heaskedsmilinglyiftheladytookasiestatoo，andIrepliedthatweusuallytookittogether。Thismadehimtakeuphishatandcane，andashedidsoheaskedusbothtodinewithhimthenextday。IrepliedthatInevertookMatonoutanywhere，butthathewouldbewelcometocomeandtakepot—luckwithuseverydayifheliked。

Thisrefusalexhaustedhisresources，andhetookhisleaveifnotangrily，atleastverycoldly。

Mymotherreturnedtohertownapartments，whichwereoppositetomine，andthenextdaywhenIwascallingonherInoticedtheerker（asortofgratingintheSpanishfashion）whichindicatedmyroomsinthehotel。IhappenedtolookinthatdirectionandIsawMatonatthewindowstandingupandtalkingtoM。deBellegarde，whowasataneighbouringwindow。Thiswindowbelongedtoaroomwhichadjoinedmysuiteofrooms，butdidnotbelongtoit。Thisdiscoveryamusedme。IknewwhatIwasabout，anddidnotfeartobemadeacuckoldinspiteofmyself。IwassureIhadnotbeenobserved，andIwasnotgoingtoallowanytrespassers。Iwasjealous，infact；

butthejealousywasofthemind，nottheheart。

Icameintodinnerinthehighestspirits，andMatonwasasgayasmyself。IledtheconversationuptoBellegarde，andsaidIbelievedhimtobeinlovewithher。

"Oh，heislikeallofficerswithgirls；butIdon’tthinkheismoreinlovewithmethananyothergirl。"

"Oh，butdidn’thecometocallonmethismorning？"

"Certainlynot；andifhehadcomethemaidwouldhavetoldhimyouwereout。"

"Didyounotnoticehimwalkingupanddown’underthewindows？"

"No。"

Thiswasenoughforme；Iknewtheyhadlaidaplottogether。Matonwasdeceivingme，andIshouldbecheatedintwenty—fourhoursunlessItookcare。Atmyagesuchtreasonshouldnothaveastonishedme，butmyvanitywouldnotallowmetoadmitthefact。

Idissembledmyfeelingsandcaressedthetraitress，andthenleavingthehouseIwenttothetheatrewhereIplayedwithsomesuccessandreturnedhomewhilethesecondactwasinprogress；itwasstilldaylight。Thewaiterwasatthedoor，andIaskedhimwhethertherewereanyroomsbesidesthosewhichIoccupiedonthefirstfloor。

"Yes，tworooms，bothlookingonthestreet。"

"TellthelandlordthatIwilltakethemboth。"

"Theyweretakenyesterdayevening。"

"Bywhom？"

"ByaSwissofficer，whoisentertainingapartyoffriendstosupperherethisevening。"

IsaidnomorelestIshouldawakensuspicion；butIfeltsurethatBellegardecouldeasilyobtainaccesstomyroomsfromhis。Indeed，therewasadoorleadingtotheroomwhereMatonsleptwithhermaidwhenIdidnotcaretohaveherinmyroom。Thedoorwasboltedonherside，butasshewasintheplottherewasnotmuchsecurityinthis。

Iwentupstairssoftly，andfindingMatononthebalcony，Isaid，aftersomeindifferentconversation，thatIshouldliketochangerooms。

"Youshallhavemyroom，"Isaid，"andIwillhaveyours；Icanreadthere，andseethepeoplegoingby。"

Shethoughtitaverygoodidea，andaddedthatitwouldserveusbothifIwouldallowhertosittherewhenIwasout。

ThisreplyshewedmethatMatonwasanoldhand，andthatIhadbettergiveherupifIdidnotwishtobeduped。

Ichangedtherooms，andwesuppedpleasantlytogether，laughingandtalking，andinspiteofallhercraftMatondidnotnoticeanychangeinme。

Iremainedaloneinmynewroom，andsoonheardthevoicesofBellegardeandhismerrycompanions。Iwentontothebalcony，butthecurtainsofBellegarde’sroomweredrawn，asiftoassuremethattherewasnocomplot。However，Iwasnotsoeasilydeceived，andI

foundafterwardsthatMercuryhadwarnedJupiterthatAmphytrionhadchangedhisroom。

Nextday，asevereheadache，athingfromwhichIseldomsuffer，keptmetothehouseallday。Ihadmyselfletblood，andmyworthymother，whocametokeepmecompany，dinedwithMaton。Mymotherhadtakenaweaknessforthegirl，andhadoftenaskedmetolethercomeandseeher，butIhadthegoodsensetorefusethisrequest。ThenextdayIwasstillfarfromwell，andtookmedicine，andintheevening，tomyhorror，Ifoundmyselfattackedbyafearfuldisease。

ThismustbeapresentfromMaton，forIhadnotknownanyoneelsesinceleavingLeopol。Ispentatroublednight，rageandindignationbeingmyprincipalemotions；andnextmorning，cominguponMatonsuddenly，Ifoundeverythinginthemostdisgustingstate。Thewretchedcreatureconfessedshehadbeeninfectedforthelastsixmonths，butthatshehadhopednottogiveitme，asshehadwashedherselfcarefullywhenevershethoughtIwasgoingtohavetodowithher。

"Wretch，youhavepoisonedme；butnobodyshallknowit，asitisbymyownfault，andIamashamedofit。Getup，andyoushallseehowgenerousIcanbe。"

Shegotup，andIhadallthelinenIhadgivenherpackedintoatrunk。Thisdone，Itoldmymantotakeasmallroomforheratanotherinn。Hiserrandwassoonover，andIthentoldMatontogoimmediately，asIhaddonewithher。Igaveherfiftycrowns，andmadehersignareceiptspecifyingthereasonwhyIhadsentheraway，andacknowledgingthatshehadnofurtherclaimuponme。Theconditionswerehumiliating，andshewishedmetosoftenthemdown，butshesoongaveinwhenItoldherthatunlessshesignedIwouldturnherintothestreetsasnakedaswhenIfoundher。

"WhatamItodohere？Idon’tknowanyone。"

"IfyouliketoreturntoBreslauIwillpayyourexpensesthere。"

Shemadenoanswer，soIsentherawaybagandbaggage，andmerelyturnedmybackonherwhenshewentdownonherkneestoexcitemycompassion。

Igotridofherwithouttheslightestfeelingofpity，forfromwhatshehaddonetomeandfromwhatshewaspreparingtodoIconsideredherasameremonster，whowouldsoonerorlaterhavecostmemylife。

Ilefttheinnthefollowingday，andItookafurnishedapartmentonthefirstfloorofthehousewheremymotherlivedforsixmonths，andproceededaboutmycure。EveryoneaskedmewhatIhaddonewithmyhousekeeper，andIsaidthathavingnofurtherneedofherservicesIhadsentheraway。

AweekafterwardsmybrotherJohncametotellmethatBellegardeandfiveorsixofhisfriendswereonthesicklist；Matonhadcertainlylostnotime。

"Iamsorryforthem，butit’stheirownfault；whydidn’ttheytakemorecare？"

"ButthegirlcametoDresdenwithyou。"

"Yes，andIsentheraboutherbusiness。Itwasenoughformetokeepthemoffwhileshewasundermycharge。Tellthemthatiftheycomplainofmetheyarewrong，andstillmorewrongtopublishtheirshame。Letthemlearndiscretionandgetthemselvescuredinsecrecy，iftheydonotwantsensiblementolaughatthem。Don’tyouthinkIamright？"

"Theadventureisnotaveryhonourableoneforyou。"

"Iknowit，andthat’swhyIsaynothing；Iamnotsuchafoolastoproclaimmyshamefromthehousetops。Thesefriendsofyoursmustbesimpletonsindeed；theymusthaveknownthatIhadgoodreasonsforsendingthegirlaway，andshouldconsequentlyhavebeenontheirguard。Theydeservewhattheygot，andIhopeitmaybealessontothem。"

"Theyareallastonishedatyourbeingwell。"

"YoumaycomfortthembysayingthatIhavebeenasbadlytreatedasthey，butthatIhaveheldmytongue，notwishingtopassforasimpleton。"

PoorJohnsawhehadbeenasimpletonhimselfanddepartedinsilence。Iputmyselfunderaseverediet，andbythemiddleofAugustmyhealthwasre—established。

Aboutthistime，PrinceAdamCzartoryski’ssistercametoDresden，lodgingwithCountBruhl。Ihadthehonourofpayingmycourttoher，andIheardfromherownmouththatherroyalcousinhadhadtheweaknesstolethimselfbeimposedonbycalumniesaboutme。ItoldherthatIwasofAriosto’sopinionthatallthevirtuesarenothingworthunlesstheyarecoveredwiththeveilofconstancy。

"YousawyourselfwhenIsuppedwithyou，howhismajestycompletelyignoredme。YourhighnesswillbegoingtoParisnextyear；youwillmeetmethereandyoucanwritetothekingthatifIhadbeenburntineffigyIshouldnotventuretoshewmyself。"

TheSeptemberfairbeingagreatoccasionatLeipzig，Iwenttheretoregainmysizebyeatinglarks，forwhichLeipzigisjustlyfamous。

IhadplayedacautiousbutawinninggameatDresden，theresultofwhichhadbeenthegainofsomehundredsofducats，soIwasabletostartforLeipzigwithaletterofcreditforthreethousandcrownsonthebankerHohman，anintelligentoldmanofupwardsofeighty。

ItwasofhimIheardthatthehairoftheEmpressofRussia，whichlookedadarkbrownorevenblack，hadbeenoriginallyquitefair。

TheoldbankerhadseenheratStettineverydaybetweenherseventhandtenthyears，andtoldmethateventhentheyhadbeguntocombherhairwithleadcombs，andtorubacertaincompositionintoit。

>FromanearlyageCatherinehadbeenlookeduponasthefuturebrideoftheDukeofHolstein，afterwardsthehaplessPeterIII。TheRussiansarefairasarule，andsoitwasthoughtitthatthereigningfamilyshouldbedark。

HereIwillnotedownapleasantadventureIhadatLeipzig。ThePrincessofAremberghadarrivedfromVienna，andwasstayingatthesamehotelasmyself。Shetookafancytogotothefairincognito，andasshehadalargesuiteshedresseduponeofhermaidsastheprincess，andmingledwithherfollowing。Isupposemyreaderstobeawarethatthisprincesswaswittyandbeautiful，andthatshewasthefavouritemistressoftheEmperorFrancistheFirst。

Iheardofhismasquerade，andleavingmyhotelatthesametimeI

followedhertillshestoppedatastall，andthengoinguptoherandaddressingherasonewouldanyothermaid，Iaskedifthat（pointingatthefalseprincess）werereallythefamousPrincessofAremberg。

"Certainly，"shereplied。

"Icanscarcelybelieveit，forsheisnotpretty，andshe，has，notthelooknorthemannersofaprincess。"

"Perhapsyouarenotagoodjudgeofprincesses。"

"Ihaveseenenoughofthemanyhow，andtoprovethatIamagoodjudgeIsaythatitisyouwhooughttobetheprincess；Iwouldwillinglygiveahundredducatstospendthenightwithyou。"

"Ahundredducats！WhatwouldyoudoifIweretotakeyouatyourword？"

"Tryme。Ilodgeatthesamehotelasyou，andifyetcancontrivewaysandmeans，Iwillgiveyouthemoneyinadvance，butnottillI

amsureofmyprize，forIdon’tlikebeingtakenin。"

"Verygood。Saynotawordtoanyone，buttrytospeakwithmeeitherbeforeoraftersupper。Ifyouarebraveenoughtofacecertainrisks，wewillspendthenighttogether。"

"Whatisyourname？"

"Caroline。"

Ifeltcertainitwouldcometonothing，butIwasgladtohaveamusedtheprincess，andtohaveletherknowthatIappreciatedherbeauties，andIresolvedtogoonwiththepartIwasplaying。

Aboutsupper—timeIbeganapromenadeneartheprincess’sapartments，stoppingeverynowandtheninfrontoftheroomwhereherwomenweresitting，tilloneofthemcameouttoaskmeifIwantedanything。

"IwanttospeakforamomenttooneofyourcompanionstowhomIhadthepleasureoftalkingatthefair。"

"YoumeanCaroline，Iexpect？"

"Yes。"

"Sheiswaitingontheprincess，butshewillbeoutinhalfanhour。"

Ispentthishalfhourinmyownroom，andthenreturnedtodanceattendance。BeforelongthesamemaidtowhomIhadspokencameuptomeandtoldmetowaitinaclosetwhichsheshewedme，tellingmethatCarolinewouldbetherebeforelong。Iwentintothecloset，whichwassmall，dark，anduncomfortable。Iwassoonjoinedbyawoman。ThistimeIwassureitwastherealCaroline，butIsaidnothing。

Shecame，in，tookmyhand，andtoldmethatifIwouldwaitthereshewouldcometomeassoonashermistresswasinbed。

"Withoutanylight？"

"Ofcourse，orelsethepeopleofthehousewouldnoticeit，andI

shouldnotlikethat。"

"Icannotdoanythingwithoutlight，charmingCaroline；andbesides，thisclosetisnotaveryniceplacetopassfiveorsixhours。

Thereisanotheralternative，thefirstroomaboveismine。Ishallbealone，andIsweartoyouthatnooneshallcomein；comeupandmakemehappy；Ihavegotthehundredducatshere。"

"Impossible！Idarenotgoupstairsforamillionducats。"

"Somuchtheworseforyou，asIamnotgoingtostayinthisholewhich"hasonlyachairinit，ifyouoffermeamillionandahalf。

Farewell，sweetCaroline。"

"Waitamoment；letmegooutfirst。"

Theslypusswentoutquicklyenough，butIwasassharpasshe，andtrodonthetailofherdresssothatshecouldnotshutthedoorafterher。Sowewentouttogether，andIleftheratthedoor，saying，——

"Goodnight，Caroline，youseeitwasnouse。"

Iwenttobedwellpleasedwiththeincident。Theprincess，itwasplain，hadintendedtomakemepassthenightintheholeofacloset，asapunishmentforhavingdaredtoaskthemistressofanemperortosleepwithmeforahundredcrowns。

Twodayslater，asIwasbuyingapairoflacecuffs，theprincesscameintotheshopwithCountZinzendorf，whomIhadknownatParistwelveyearsbefore。justasIwasmakingwayfortheladythecountrecognizedme，andaskedmeifIknewanythingabouttheCasanovathathadfoughttheduelatWarsaw。

"Alas！count，IamthatCasanova，andhereismyarmstillinasling。"

"Icongratulateyou，mydearfellow；Ishouldliketohearaboutit。"

Withthesewordsheintroducedmetotheprincess，askingherifshehadheardoftheduel。

"Yes；Iheardsomethingaboutitinthepapers。Sothisistheheroofthetale。Delightedtomakeyouracquaintance。"

Theprincessspokewithgreatkindness，butwiththecoolpolitenessoftheCourt。Shedidnotgivemetheslightestsignofrecognition，andofcourseIimitatedherinherreserve。

Ivisitedthecountintheafternoon，andhebeggedmetocomeandseetheprincess，whowouldbedelightedtoheartheaccountofmyduelfrommyownlips，andIfollowedhimtoherapartmentwithpleasure。Theprincesslistenedtomynarrativeinstatelysort，andherwomenneverloo