第111章

butIcannothelptellingyouwhatanaturesheshows，andthatyoucanneverthinktoowellofher。

Ihavenotyetcalledherbyhernameinthisletter，butwearesuchfriendsnowthatIdosowhenwearequietlytogether，andshespeakstomebymyname——Imean，notmyChristianname，butthenameyougaveme。WhenshebegantocallmeAmy，Itoldhermyshortstory，andthatyouhadalwayscalledmeLittleDorrit。I

toldherthatthenamewasmuchdearertomethananyother，andsoshecallsmeLittleDorrittoo。

Perhapsyouhavenotheardfromherfatherormotheryet，andmaynotknowthatshehasababyson。Hewasbornonlytwodaysago，andjustaweekaftertheycame。Ithasmadethemveryhappy。

However，Imusttellyou，asIamtotellyouall，thatIfancytheyareunderaconstraintwithMrGowan，andthattheyfeelasifhismockingwaywiththemwassometimesaslightgiventotheirloveforher。Itwasbutyesterday，whenIwasthere，thatIsawMrMeagleschangecolour，andgetupandgoout，asifhewasafraidthathemightsayso，unlesshepreventedhimselfbythatmeans。YetIamsuretheyarebothsoconsiderate，good-humoured，andreasonable，thathemightsparethem。Itishardinhimnottothinkofthemalittlemore。

Istoppedatthelastfullstoptoreadallthisover。ItlookedatfirstasifIwastakingonmyselftounderstandandexplainsomuch，thatIwashalfinclinednottosendit。ButwhenIthoughtitoveralittle，IfeltmorehopefulforyourknowingatoncethatIhadonlybeenwatchfulforyou，andhadonlynoticedwhatIthinkIhavenoticed，becauseIwasquickenedbyyourinterestinit。

Indeed，youmaybesurethatisthetruth。

AndnowIhavedonewiththesubjectinthepresentletter，andhavelittlelefttosay。

Weareallquitewell，andFannyimproveseveryday。Youcanhardlythinkhowkindsheistome，andwhatpainsshetakeswithme。Shehasalover，whohasfollowedher，firstallthewayfromSwitzerland，andthenallthewayfromVenice，andwhohasjustconfidedtomethathemeanstofollowhereverywhere。Iwasmuchconfusedbyhisspeakingtomeaboutit，buthewould。Ididnotknowwhattosay，butatlastItoldhimthatIthoughthehadbetternot。ForFanny(butIdidnottellhimthis)ismuchtoospiritedandclevertosuithim。Still，hesaidhewould，allthesame。Ihavenolover，ofcourse。

Ifyoushouldevergetsofarasthisinthislongletter，youwillperhapssay，SurelyLittleDorritwillnotleaveoffwithouttellingmesomethingabouthertravels，andsurelyitistimeshedid。Ithinkitisindeed，butIdon’tknowwhattotellyou。

SinceweleftVenicewehavebeeninagreatmanywonderfulplaces，GenoaandFlorenceamongthem，andhaveseensomanywonderfulsights，thatIamalmostgiddywhenIthinkwhatacrowdtheymake。

ButyoucantellmesomuchmoreaboutthemthanIcantellyou，thatwhyshouldItireyouwithmyaccountsanddescriptions？

DearMrClennam，asIhadthecouragetotellyouwhatthefamiliardifficultiesinmytravellingmindwerebefore，Iwillnotbeacowardnow。Oneofmyfrequentthoughtsisthis：——Oldasthesecitiesare，theirageitselfishardlysocurious，tomyreflections，asthattheyshouldhavebeenintheirplacesallthroughthosedayswhenIdidnotevenknowoftheexistenceofmorethantwoorthreeofthem，andwhenIscarcelyknewofanythingoutsideouroldwalls。Thereissomethingmelancholyinit，andIdon’tknowwhy。WhenwewenttoseethefamousleaningtoweratPisa，itwasabrightsunnyday，anditandthebuildingsnearitlookedsoold，andtheearthandtheskylookedsoyoung，anditsshadowonthegroundwassosoftandretired!Icouldnotatfirstthinkhowbeautifulitwas，orhowcurious，butIthought，’Ohowmanytimeswhentheshadowofthewallwasfallingonourroom，andwhenthatwearytreadoffeetwasgoingupanddowntheyard——Ohowmanytimesthisplacewasjustasquietandlovelyasitisto-day!’Itquiteoverpoweredme。Myheartwassofullthattearsburstoutofmyeyes，thoughIdidwhatIcouldtorestrainthem。AndIhavethesamefeelingoften——often。

Doyouknowthatsincethechangeinourfortunes，thoughIappeartomyselftohavedreamedmorethanbefore，Ihavealwaysdreamedofmyselfasveryyoungindeed!Iamnotveryold