第54章

WhenherejoinedLittleDorrit，andtheyhadbegunwalkingasbefore，shesaidallatonce：

’IthinkIhadbettergo。Ihadbettergohome。’

’Don’tbedistressed，’saidClennam，’Ihaveansweredtheletters。

Theywerenothing。Youknowwhattheywere。Theywerenothing。’

’ButIamafraid，’shereturned，’toleavehim，Iamafraidtoleaveanyofthem。WhenIamgone，theypervert——buttheydon’tmeanit——evenMaggy。’

’Itwasaveryinnocentcommissionthatsheundertook，poorthing。

Andinkeepingitsecretfromyou，shesupposed，nodoubt，thatshewasonlysavingyouuneasiness。’

’Yes，Ihopeso，Ihopeso。ButIhadbettergohome!ItwasbuttheotherdaythatmysistertoldmeIhadbecomesousedtotheprisonthatIhaditstoneandcharacter。Itmustbeso。IamsureitmustbewhenIseethesethings。Myplaceisthere。Iambetterthere。itisunfeelinginmetobehere，whenIcandotheleastthingthere。Good-bye。Ihadfarbetterstayathome!’

Theagonisedwayinwhichshepouredthisout，asifitburstofitselffromhersuppressedheart，madeitdifficultforClennamtokeepthetearsfromhiseyesashesawandheardher。

’Don’tcallithome，mychild!’heentreated。’Itisalwayspainfultometohearyoucallithome。’

’Butitishome!WhatelsecanIcallhome？WhyshouldIeverforgetitforasinglemoment？’

’Youneverdo，dearLittleDorrit，inanygoodandtrueservice。’

’Ihopenot，OIhopenot!Butitisbetterformetostaythere；

muchbetter，muchmoredutiful，muchhappier。Pleasedon’tgowithme，letmegobymyself。Good-bye，Godblessyou。Thankyou，thankyou。’

Hefeltthatitwasbettertorespectherentreaty，anddidnotmovewhileherslightformwentquicklyawayfromhim。Whenithadflutteredoutofsight，heturnedhisfacetowardsthewaterandstoodthinking。

Shewouldhavebeendistressedatanytimebythisdiscoveryoftheletters；butsomuchso，andinthatunrestrainableway？

No。

Whenshehadseenherfatherbeggingwithhisthreadbaredisguiseon，whenshehadentreatedhimnottogiveherfathermoney，shehadbeendistressed，butnotlikethis。Somethinghadmadeherkeenlyandadditionallysensitivejustnow。Now，wastheresomeoneinthehopelessunattainabledistance？Orhadthesuspicionbeenbroughtintohismind，byhisownassociationsofthetroubledriverrunningbeneaththebridgewiththesameriverhigherup，itschangelesstuneupontheprowoftheferry-boat，somanymilesanhourthepeacefulflowingofthestream，heretherushes，therethelilies，nothinguncertainorunquiet？

Hethoughtofhispoorchild，LittleDorrit，foralongtimethere；

hethoughtofhergoinghome；hethoughtofherinthenight；hethoughtofherwhenthedaycameroundagain。AndthepoorchildLittleDorritthoughtofhim——toofaithfully，ah，toofaithfully!——

intheshadowoftheMarshalseawall。

MachineryinMotionMrMeaglesbestirredhimselfwithsuchpromptactivityinthematterofthenegotiationwithDanielDoycewhichClennamhadentrustedtohim，thathesoonbroughtitintobusinesstrain，andcalledonClennamatnineo’clockonemorningtomakehisreport。

’Doyceishighlygratifiedbyyourgoodopinion，’heopenedthebusinessbysaying，’anddesiresnothingsomuchasthatyoushouldexaminetheaffairsoftheWorksforyourself，andentirelyunderstandthem。Hehashandedmethekeysofallhisbooksandpapers——heretheyarejinglinginthispocket——andtheonlychargehehasgivenmeis“LetMrClennamhavethemeansofputtinghimselfonaperfectequalitywithmeastoknowingwhateverI

know。I