第6章

Covereithertwoofthosechannelsofexpression，andthethirdwouldhavesaidsostill。Maskthemall，andthemereturnoftheheadwouldhaveshownanunsubduablenature。

Pethadmoveduptoher(shehadbeenthesubjectofremarkamongherfamilyandMrClennam，whowerenowtheonlyotheroccupantsoftheroom)，andwasstandingatherside。

’Areyou’——sheturnedhereyes，andPetfaltered——’expectinganyonetomeetyouhere，MissWade？’

’I？No。’

’FatherissendingtothePosteRestante。Shallhehavethepleasureofdirectingthemessengertoaskifthereareanylettersforyou？’

’Ithankhim，butIknowtherecanbenone。’

’Weareafraid，’saidPet，sittingdownbesideher，shylyandhalftenderly，’thatyouwillfeelquitedesertedwhenweareallgone。’

’Indeed!’

’Not，’saidPet，apologeticallyandembarrassedbyhereyes，’not，ofcourse，thatweareanycompanytoyou，orthatwehavebeenabletobeso，orthatwethoughtyouwishedit。’

’IhavenotintendedtomakeitunderstoodthatIdidwishit。’

’No。Ofcourse。But——inshort，’saidPet，timidlytouchingherhandasitlayimpassiveonthesofabetweenthem，’willyounotallowFathertotenderyouanyslightassistanceorservice？Hewillbeveryglad。’

’Veryglad，’saidMrMeagles，comingforwardwithhiswifeandClennam。’Anythingshortofspeakingthelanguage，Ishallbedelightedtoundertake，Iamsure。’

’Iamobligedtoyou，’shereturned，’butmyarrangementsaremade，andIprefertogomyownwayinmyownmanner。’

’Doyou？’saidMrMeaglestohimself，ashesurveyedherwithapuzzledlook。’Well!There’scharacterinthat，too。’

’Iamnotmuchusedtothesocietyofyoungladies，andIamafraidImaynotshowmyappreciationofitasothersmight。Apleasantjourneytoyou。Good-bye!’

Shewouldnothaveputoutherhand，itseemed，butthatMrMeaglesputouthissostraightbeforeherthatshecouldnotpassit。Sheputhersinit，anditlaytherejustasithadlainuponthecouch。

’Good-bye!’saidMrMeagles。’Thisisthelastgood-byeuponthelist，forMotherandIhavejustsaidittoMrClennamhere，andheonlywaitstosayittoPet。Good-bye!Wemaynevermeetagain。’

’Inourcoursethroughlifeweshallmeetthepeoplewhoarecomingtomeetus，frommanystrangeplacesandbymanystrangeroads，’

wasthecomposedreply；’andwhatitissettoustodotothem，andwhatitissettothemtodotous，willallbedone。’

TherewassomethinginthemannerofthesewordsthatjarreduponPet’sear。Itimpliedthatwhatwastobedonewasnecessarilyevil，anditcausedhertosayinawhisper，’OFather!’andtoshrinkchildishly，inherspoiltway，alittleclosertohim。Thiswasnotlostonthespeaker。

’Yourprettydaughter，’shesaid，’startstothinkofsuchthings。

Yet，’lookingfulluponher，’youmaybesurethattherearemenandwomenalreadyontheirroad，whohavetheirbusinesstodowithYOU，andwhowilldoit。Ofacertaintytheywilldoit。Theymaybecominghundreds，thousands，ofmilesovertheseathere；theymaybecloseathandnow；theymaybecoming，foranythingyouknoworanythingyoucandotopreventit，fromthevilestsweepingsofthisverytown。’

Withthecoldestoffarewells，andwithacertainwornexpressiononherbeautythatgaveit，thoughscarcelyyetinitsprime，awastedlook，shelefttheroom。

Now，thereweremanystairsandpassagesthatshehadtotraverseinpassingfromthatpartofthespacioushousetothechambershehadsecuredforherownoccupation。Whenshehadalmostcompletedthejourney，andwaspassingalongthegalleryinwhichherroomwas，sheheardanangrysoundofmutteringandsobbing。Adoorstoodopen，andwithinshesawtheattendantuponthegirlshehadjustleft；themaidwiththecuriousname。

Shestoodstill，tolookatthismaid。Asullen，passionategirl!

Herrichblackhairwasallaboutherface，herfacewasflushedandhot，andasshesobbedandraged，shepluckedatherlipswithanunsparinghand。

’Selfishbrutes!’saidthegirl，sobbingandheavingbetweenwhiles。’Notcaringwhatbecomesofme!Leavingmeherehungryandthirstyandtired，tostarve，foranythingtheycare!Beasts!

Devils!Wretches!’

’Mypoorgirl，whatisthematter？’

Shelookedupsuddenly，withreddenedeyes，andwithherhandssuspended，intheactofpinchingherneck，freshlydisfiguredwithgreatscarletblots。’It’snothingtoyouwhat’sthematter。Itdon’tsignifytoanyone。’

’Oyesitdoes；Iamsorrytoseeyouso。’

’Youarenotsorry，’saidthegirl。’Youareglad。Youknowyouareglad。Ineverwaslikethisbuttwiceoverinthequarantineyonder；andbothtimesyoufoundme。Iamafraidofyou。’

’Afraidofme？’

’Yes。Youseemtocomelikemyownanger，myownmalice，myown——

whateveritis——Idon’tknowwhatitis。ButIamill-used，Iamill-used，Iamill-used!’Herethesobsandthetears，andthetearinghand，whichhadallbeensuspendedtogethersincethefirstsurprise，wentontogetheranew。

Thevisitorstoodlookingatherwithastrangeattentivesmile。

Itwaswonderfultoseethefuryofthecontestinthegirl，andthebodilystruggleshemadeasifshewererentbytheDemonsofold。

’Iamyoungerthansheisbytwoorthreeyears，andyetit’smethatlooksafterher，asifIwasold，andit’sshethat’salwayspettedandcalledBaby!Idetestthename。Ihateher!Theymakeafoolofher，theyspoilher。Shethinksofnothingbutherself，shethinksnomoreofmethanifIwasastockandastone!’Sothegirlwenton。

’Youmusthavepatience。’

’IWON’Thavepatience!’

’Iftheytakemuchcareofthemselves，andlittleornoneofyou，youmustnotmindit。’

IWILLmindit。’

’Hush!Bemoreprudent。Youforgetyourdependentposition。’

’Idon’tcareforthat。I’llrunaway。I’lldosomemischief。I

won’tbearit；Ican’tbearit；IshalldieifItrytobearit!’

Theobserverstoodwithherhanduponherownbosom，lookingatthegirl，asoneafflictedwithadiseasedpartmightcuriouslywatchthedissectionandexpositionofananalogouscase。

Thegirlragedandbattledwithalltheforceofheryouthandfulnessoflife，untilbylittleandlittleherpassionateexclamationstrailedoffintobrokenmurmursasifshewereinpain。Bycorrespondingdegreesshesankintoachair，thenuponherknees，thenuponthegroundbesidethebed，drawingthecoverletwithher，halftohidehershamedheadandwethairinit，andhalf，asitseemed，toembraceit，ratherthanhavenothingtotaketoherrepentantbreast。

’Goawayfromme，goawayfromme!Whenmytempercomesuponme，Iammad。IknowImightkeepitoffifIonlytriedhardenough，andsometimesIdotryhardenough，andatothertimesIdon’tandwon’t。WhathaveIsaid!IknewwhenIsaidit，itwasalllies。

TheythinkIambeingtakencareofsomewhere，andhaveallIwant。

Theyarenothingbutgoodtome。Ilovethemdearly；nopeoplecouldeverbekindertoathanklesscreaturethantheyalwaysaretome。Do，dogoaway，forIamafraidofyou。IamafraidofmyselfwhenIfeelmytempercoming，andIamasmuchafraidofyou。Goawayfromme，andletmeprayandcrymyselfbetter!’

Thedaypassedon；andagainthewidestarestareditselfout；andthehotnightwasonMarseilles；andthroughitthecaravanofthemorning，alldispersed，wenttheirappointedways。Andthuseverbydayandnight，underthesunandunderthestars，climbingthedustyhillsandtoilingalongthewearyplains，journeyingbylandandjourneyingbysea，comingandgoingsostrangely，tomeetandtoactandreactononeanother，moveallwerestlesstravellersthroughthepilgrimageoflife。

HomeItwasaSundayeveninginLondon，gloomy，close，andstale。

Maddeningchurchbellsofalldegreesofdissonance，sharpandflat，crackedandclear，fastandslow，madethebrick-and-mortarechoeshideous。Melancholystreets，inapenitentialgarbofsoot，steepedthesoulsofthepeoplewhowerecondemnedtolookatthemoutofwindows，indiredespondency。Ineverythoroughfare，upalmosteveryalley，anddownalmosteveryturning，somedolefulbellwasthrobbing，jerking，tolling，asifthePlaguewereinthecityandthedead-cartsweregoinground。Everythingwasboltedandbarredthatcouldbypossibilityfurnishrelieftoanoverworkedpeople。Nopictures，nounfamiliaranimals，norareplantsorflowers，nonaturalorartificialwondersoftheancientworld——allTABOOwiththatenlightenedstrictness，thattheuglySouthSeagodsintheBritishMuseummighthavesupposedthemselvesathomeagain。Nothingtoseebutstreets，streets，streets。

Nothingtobreathebutstreets，streets，streets。Nothingtochangethebroodingmind，orraiseitup。Nothingforthespenttoilertodo，buttocomparethemonotonyofhisseventhdaywiththemonotonyofhissixdays，thinkwhatawearylifeheled，andmakethebestofit——ortheworst，accordingtotheprobabilities。

Atsuchahappytime，sopropitioustotheinterestsofreligionandmorality，MrArthurClennam，newlyarrivedfromMarseillesbywayofDover，andbyDovercoachtheBlue-eyedMaid，satinthewindowofacoffee-houseonLudgateHill。Tenthousandresponsiblehousessurroundedhim，frowningasheavilyonthestreetstheycomposed，asiftheywereeveryoneinhabitedbythetenyoungmenoftheCalender’sstory，whoblackenedtheirfacesandbemoanedtheirmiserieseverynight。FiftythousandlairssurroundedhimwherepeoplelivedsounwholesomelythatfairwaterputintotheircrowdedroomsonSaturdaynight，wouldbecorruptonSundaymorning；albeitmylord，theircountymember，wasamazedthattheyfailedtosleepincompanywiththeirbutcher’smeat。Milesofclosewellsandpitsofhouses，wheretheinhabitantsgaspedforair，stretchedfarawaytowardseverypointofthecompass。

Throughtheheartofthetownadeadlysewerebbedandflowed，intheplaceofafinefreshriver。Whatsecularwantcouldthemillionorsoofhumanbeingswhosedailylabour，sixdaysintheweek，layamongtheseArcadianobjects，fromthesweetsamenessofwhichtheyhadnoescapebetweenthecradleandthegrave——whatsecularwantcouldtheypossiblyhaveupontheirseventhday？