第36章

’Butthisisnot，’sheadded，withthequieteffortagain，’whatI

havecometotroubleyouwith，sir。Mysister’shavingfoundafriend，aladyshehastoldmeofandmademeratheranxiousabout，wasthefirstcauseofmycomingawayfromhome。Andbeingaway，andcoming(onpurpose)roundbywhereyoulivedandseeingalightinthewindow——’

Notforthefirsttime。No，notforthefirsttime。InLittleDorrit’seyes，theoutsideofthatwindowhadbeenadistantstaronothernightsthanthis。Shehadtoiledoutofherway，tiredandtroubled，tolookupatit，andwonderaboutthegrave，browngentlemanfromsofaroff，whohadspokentoherasafriendandprotector。

’Therewerethreethings，’saidLittleDorrit，’thatIthoughtI

wouldliketosay，ifyouwerealoneandImightcomeup-stairs。

First，whatIhavetriedtosay，butnevercan——nevershall——’

’Hush，hush!Thatisdonewith，anddisposedof。Letuspasstothesecond，’saidClennam，smilingheragitationaway，makingtheblazeshineuponher，andputtingwineandcakeandfruittowardsheronthetable。

’Ithink，’saidLittleDorrit——’thisisthesecondthing，sir——I

thinkMrsClennammusthavefoundoutmysecret，andmustknowwhereIcomefromandwhereIgoto。WhereIlive，Imean。’

’Indeed!’returnedClennamquickly。Heaskedher，aftershortconsideration，whyshesupposedso。

’Ithink，’repliedLittleDorrit，’thatMrFlintwinchmusthavewatchedme。’

Andwhy，Clennamasked，asheturnedhiseyesuponthefire，benthisbrows，andconsideredagain；whydidshesupposethat？

’Ihavemethimtwice。Bothtimesnearhome。Bothtimesatnight，whenIwasgoingback。BothtimesIthought(thoughthatmayeasilybemymistake)，thathehardlylookedasifhehadmetmebyaccident。’

’Didhesayanything？’

’No；heonlynoddedandputhisheadononeside。’

’Thedeviltakehishead!’musedClennam，stilllookingatthefire；’it’salwaysononeside。’

Herousedhimselftopersuadehertoputsomewinetoherlips，andtotouchsomethingtoeat——itwasverydifficult，shewassotimidandshy——andthensaid，musingagain：

’Ismymotheratallchangedtoyou？’

’Oh，notatall。Sheisjustthesame。IwonderedwhetherIhadbettertellhermyhistory。IwonderedwhetherImight——Imean，whetheryouwouldlikemetotellher。Iwondered，’saidLittleDorrit，lookingathiminasuppliantway，andgraduallywithdrawinghereyesashelookedather，’whetheryouwouldadvisemewhatIoughttodo。’

’LittleDorrit，’saidClennam；andthephrasehadalreadybegun，betweenthesetwo，tostandforahundredgentlephrases，accordingtothevaryingtoneandconnectioninwhichitwasused；’donothing。Iwillhavesometalkwithmyoldfriend，MrsAffery。Donothing，LittleDorrit——exceptrefreshyourselfwithsuchmeansastherearehere。Ientreatyoutodothat。’

’Thankyou，Iamnothungry。Nor，’saidLittleDorrit，ashesoftlyputherglasstowardsher，’northirsty——IthinkMaggymightlikesomething，perhaps。’

’Wewillmakeherfindpocketspresentlyforallthereishere，’

saidClennam：’butbeforeweawakeher，therewasathirdthingtosay。’

’Yes。Youwillnotbeoffended，sir？’

’Ipromisethat，unreservedly。’

’Itwillsoundstrange。Ihardlyknowhowtosayit。Don’tthinkitunreasonableorungratefulinme，’saidLittleDorrit，withreturningandincreasingagitation。

’No，no，no。Iamsureitwillbenaturalandright。IamnotafraidthatIshallputawrongconstructiononit，whateveritis。’

’Thankyou。Youarecomingbacktoseemyfatheragain？’

’Yes。’