第55章

perhapsshedidnotunderstandmuchofwhatshewasreading，andherthoughtswereelsewhere：butthesleepproject，withpoorMick’snightcapthereonthepillow，wasquiteavainone。Soitisintheworld。JackorDonaldmarchesawaytoglorywithhisknapsackonhisshoulder，steppingoutbrisklytothetuneof“TheGirlILeftBehindMe。”Itisshewhoremainsandsuffers——andhastheleisuretothink，andbrood，andremember。

Knowinghowuselessregretsare，andhowtheindulgenceofsentimentonlyservestomakepeoplemoremiserable，Mrs。Rebeccawiselydeterminedtogivewaytonovainfeelingsofsorrow，andborethepartingfromherhusbandwithquiteaSpartanequanimity。IndeedCaptainRawdonhimselfwasmuchmoreaffectedattheleave-

takingthantheresolutelittlewomantowhomhebadefarewell。Shehadmasteredthisrudecoarsenature；

andhelovedandworshippedherwithallhisfacultiesofregardandadmiration。Inallhislifehehadneverbeensohappy，as，duringthepastfewmonths，hiswifehadmadehim。Allformerdelightsofturf，mess，hunting-field，andgambling-table；allpreviouslovesandcourtshipsofmilliners，opera-dancers，andthelikeeasytriumphsoftheclumsymilitaryAdonis，werequiteinsipidwhencomparedtothelawfulmatrimonialpleasureswhichoflatehehadenjoyed。Shehadknownperpetuallyhowtodiverthim；andhehadfoundhishouseandhersocietyathousandtimesmorepleasantthananyplaceorcompanywhichhehadeverfrequentedfromhischildhooduntilnow。Andhecursedhispastfolliesandextravagances，andbemoanedhisvastoutlyingdebtsaboveall，whichmustremainforeverasobstaclestopreventhiswife’sadvancementintheworld。HehadoftengroanedovertheseinmidnightconversationswithRebecca，althoughasabachelortheyhadnevergivenhimanydisquiet。Hehimselfwasstruckwiththisphenomenon。”Hangit。”

hewouldsay(orperhapsuseastillstrongerexpressionoutofhissimplevocabulary)，“beforeIwasmarriedI

didn’tcarewhatbillsIputmynameto，andsolongasMoseswouldwaitorLevywouldrenewforthreemonths，Ikeptonneverminding。ButsinceI’mmarried，exceptrenewing，ofcourse，IgiveyoumyhonourI’venottouchedabitofstampedpaper。”

Rebeccaalwaysknewhowtoconjureawaythesemoodsofmelancholy。”Why，mystupidlove。”shewouldsay，“wehavenotdonewithyourauntyet。Ifshefailsus，isn’ttherewhatyoucalltheGazette？or，stop，whenyouruncleBute’slifedrops，Ihaveanotherscheme。Thelivinghasalwaysbelongedtotheyoungerbrother，andwhyshouldn’tyouselloutandgointotheChurch？”TheideaofthisconversionsetRawdonintoroarsoflaughter：

youmighthaveheardtheexplosionthroughthehotelatmidnight，andthehaw-hawsofthegreatdragoon’svoice。

GeneralTuftoheardhimfromhisquartersonthefirstfloorabovethem；andRebeccaactedthescenewithgreatspirit，andpreachedRawdon’sfirstsermon，totheimmensedelightoftheGeneralatbreakfast。

Buttheseweremereby-gonedaysandtalk。Whenthefinalnewsarrivedthatthecampaignwasopened，andthetroopsweretomarch，Rawdon’sgravitybecamesuchthatBeckyralliedhimaboutitinamannerwhichratherhurtthefeelingsoftheGuardsman。”Youdon’tsupposeI’mafraid，Becky，Ishouldthink。”hesaid，withatremorinhisvoice。”ButI’maprettygoodmarkforashot，andyouseeifitbringsmedown，whyIleaveoneandperhapstwobehindmewhomIshouldwishtoprovidefor，asIbrought’emintothescrape。Itisnolaughingmatterthat，Mrs。C。，anyways。”

Rebeccabyahundredcaressesandkindwordstriedtosoothethefeelingsofthewoundedlover。Itwasonlywhenhervivacityandsenseofhumourgotthebetterofthissprightlycreature(astheywoulddoundermostcircumstancesoflifeindeed)thatshewouldbreakoutwithhersatire，butshecouldsoonputonademureface。

“Dearestlove。”shesaid，“doyousupposeIfeelnothing？”

andhastilydashingsomethingfromhereyes，shelookedupinherhusband’sfacewithasmile。

“Lookhere。”saidhe。”IfIdrop，letusseewhatthereisforyou。Ihavehadaprettygoodrunofluckhere，andhere’stwohundredandthirtypounds。IhavegottenNapoleonsinmypocket。ThatisasmuchasIshallwant；

fortheGeneralpayseverythinglikeaprince；andifI’mhit，whyyouknowIcostnothing。Don’tcry，littlewoman；

Imaylivetovexyouyet。Well，Ishan’ttakeeitherofmyhorses，butshallridetheGeneral’sgreycharger：it’scheaper，andItoldh