第18章

ForsometimepastitisHumdrumHallnolonger。

Mydear，MissCrawleyhasarrivedwithherfathorses，fatservants，fatspaniel——thegreatrichMissCrawley，withseventythousandpoundsinthefivepercents。，whom，orIhadbettersayWHICH，hertwobrothersadore。Shelooksveryapoplectic，thedearsoul；nowonderherbrothersareanxiousabouther。Youshouldseethemstrugglingtosettlehercushions，ortohandhercoffee！“WhenIcomeintothecountry。”shesays(forshehasagreatdealofhumour)，“Ileavemytoady，MissBriggs，athome。Mybrothersaremytoadieshere，mydear，andaprettypairtheyare！”

Whenshecomesintothecountryourhallisthrownopen，andforamonth，atleast，youwouldfancyoldSirWalpolewascometolifeagain。Wehavedinner-

parties，anddriveoutinthecoach-and-four thefootmenputontheirnewestcanary-colouredliveries；wedrinkclaretandchampagneasifwewereaccustomedtoiteveryday。Wehavewaxcandlesintheschoolroom，andfirestowarmourselveswith。LadyCrawleyismadetoputonthebrightestpea-greeninherwardrobe，andmypupilsleaveofftheirthickshoesandtightoldtartanpelisses，andwearsilkstockingsandmuslinfrocks，asfashionablebaronets’daughtersshould。Rosecameinyesterdayinasadplight——theWiltshiresow(anenormouspetofhers)ranherdown，anddestroyedamostlovelyfloweredlilacsilkdressbydancingoverit——hadthishappenedaweekago，SirPittwouldhaveswornfrightfully，haveboxedthepoorwretch’sears，andputheruponbreadandwaterforamonth。Allhesaidwas。”I’llserveyouout，Miss，whenyouraunt’sgone。”andlaughedofftheaccidentasquitetrivial。LetushopehiswrathwillhavepassedawaybeforeMissCrawley’sdeparture。Ihopeso，forMissRose’ssake，Iamsure。

Whatacharmingreconcilerandpeacemakermoneyis！

AnotheradmirableeffectofMissCrawleyandherseventythousandpoundsistobeseenintheconductofthetwobrothersCrawley。Imeanthebaronetandtherector，notOURbrothers——buttheformer，whohateeachotheralltheyearround，becomequitelovingatChristmas。Iwrotetoyoulastyearhowtheabominablehorse-racingrectorwasinthehabitofpreachingclumsysermonsatusatchurch，andhowSirPittsnoredinanswer。WhenMissCrawleyarrivesthereisnosuchthingasquarrellingheardof——theHallvisitstheRectory，andviceversa——theparsonandtheBaronettalkaboutthepigsandthepoachers，andthecountybusiness，inthemostaffablemanner，andwithoutquarrellingintheircups，Ibelieve——indeedMissCrawleywon’thearoftheirquarrelling，andvowsthatshewillleavehermoneytotheShropshireCrawleysiftheyoffendher。Iftheywerecleverpeople，thoseShropshireCrawleys，theymighthaveitall，Ithink；buttheShropshireCrawleyisaclergymanlikehisHampshirecousin，andmortallyoffendedMissCrawley(whohadfledthitherinafitofrageagainstherimpracticablebrethren)bysomestrait-lacednotionsofmorality。Hewouldhaveprayersinthehouse，Ibelieve。

OursermonbooksareshutupwhenMissCrawleyarrives，andMr。Pitt，whomsheabominates，findsitconvenienttogototown。Ontheotherhand，theyoungdandy——“blood。”Ibelieve，istheterm——CaptainCrawleymakeshisappearance，andIsupposeyouwillliketoknowwhatsortofapersonheis。

Well，heisaverylargeyoungdandy。Heissixfeethigh，andspeakswithagreatvoice；andswearsagreatdeal；andordersabouttheservants，whoalladorehimnevertheless；forheisverygenerousofhismoney，andthedomesticswilldoanythingforhim。LastweekthekeepersalmostkilledabailiffandhismanwhocamedownfromLondontoarresttheCaptain，andwhowerefoundlurkingabouttheParkwall——theybeatthem，duckedthem，andweregoingtoshootthemforpoachers，butthebaronetinterfered。

TheCaptainhasaheartycontemptforhisfather，I

cansee，andcallshimanoldPUT，anoldSNOB，anoldCHAW-BACON，andnumberlessotherprettynames。HehasaDREADFULREPUTATIONamongtheladies。Hebringshishuntershomewithhim，liveswiththeSquiresofthecounty，askswhomhepleasestodinner，andSirPittdaresnotsayno，forfearofoffendingMissCrawley，andmissinghislegacywhenshediesofherapoplexy。

ShallItellyouacomplimenttheCaptainpaidme？I

must，itissopretty。Oneeveningweactuallyhadadance；therewasSirHuddlestonFuddlestonandhisfamily，SirGilesWapshotandhisyoungladies，andI

don’tknowhowmanymore。Well，Iheardhimsay——

“ByJove，she’saneatlittlefilly！”meaningyourhumbleservant；andhedidmethehonourtodancetwocountry-

danceswithme。HegetsonprettygailywiththeyoungSquires，withwhomhedrinks，bets，rides，andtalksabouthuntingandshooting；buthesaysthecountrygirlsareBORES；indeed，Idon’tthinkheisfarwrong。

Youshouldseethecontemptwithwhichtheylookdownonpoorme！WhentheydanceIsitandplaythepianoverydemurely；buttheothernight，cominginratherflushedfromthedining-room，andseeingmeemployedinthisway，hesworeoutloudthatIwasthebestdancerintheroom，andtookagreatoaththathewouldhavethefiddlersfromMudbury。

“I’llgoandplayacountry-dance。”saidMrs。ButeCrawley，veryreadily(sheisalittle，black-facedoldwomaninaturban，rathercrooked，andwithverytwinklingeyes)；andaftertheCaptainandyourpoorlittleRebeccahadperformedadancetogether，doyouknowsheactuallydidmethehonourtocomplimentmeuponmysteps！Suchathingwasneverheardofbefore；theproudMrs。ButeCrawley，firstcousintotheEarlofTiptoff，whowon’tcondescendtovisitLadyCrawley，exceptwhenhersisterisinthecountry。PoorLadyCrawley！duringmostpartofthesegaieties，sheisupstairstakingpills。

Mrs。Butehasallofasuddentakenagreatfancytome。”MydearMissSharp。”shesays，“whynotbringoveryourgirlstotheRectory？——theircousinswillbesohappytoseethem。”Iknowwhatshemeans。SignorClementididnotteachusthepianofornothing；atwhichpriceMrs。Butehopestogetaprofessorforherchildren。Icanseethroughherschemes，asthoughshetoldthemtome；butIshallgo，asIamdeterminedtomakemyselfagreeable——isitnotapoorgoverness’sduty，whohasnotafriendorprotectorintheworld？

TheRector’swifepaidmeascoreofcomplimentsabouttheprogressmypupilsmade，andthought，nodoubt，totouchmyheart——poor，simple，countrysoul！——asifI

caredafigaboutmypupils！

YourIndiamuslinandyourpinksilk，dearestAmelia，aresaidtobecomemeverywell。Theyareagooddealwornnow；but，youknow，wepoorgirlscan’tafforddesfraichestoilettes。Happy，happyyou！whohavebuttodrivetoSt。James’sStreet，andadearmotherwhowillgiveyouanythingyouask。Farewell，dearestgirl，YouraffectionateRebecca。

P。S——IwishyoucouldhaveseenthefacesoftheMissBlackbrooks(AdmiralBlackbrook’sdaughters，mydear)，fineyoungladies，withdressesfromLondon，whenCaptainRawdonselectedpoormeforapartner！

WhenMrs。ButeCrawley(whoseartificesouringeniousRebeccahadsosoondiscovered)hadprocuredfromMissSharpthepromiseofavisit，sheinducedtheall-

powerfulMissCrawleytomakethenecessaryapplicationtoSirPitt，andthegood-naturedoldlady，wholovedtobegayherself，andtoseeeveryonegayandhappyroundabouther，wasquitecharmed，andreadytoestablishareconciliationandintimacybetweenhertwobrothers。

Itwasthereforeagreedthattheyoungpeopleofbothfamiliesshouldvisiteachotherfrequentlyforthefuture，andthefriendshipofcourselastedaslongasthejovialoldmediatrixwastheretokeepthepeace。

“Whydidyouaskthatscoundrel，RawdonCrawley，todine？”saidtheRectortohislady，astheywerewalkinghomethroughthepark。”Idon’twantthefellow。Helooksdownuponuscountrypeopleassomanyblackamoors。

He’snevercontentunlesshegetsmyyellow-sealedwine，whichcostsmetenshillingsabottle，hanghim！Besides，he’ssuchaninfernalcharacter——he’sagambler——he’sadrunkard——he’saprofligateineveryway。Heshotamaninaduel——he’soverheadandearsindebt，andhe’srobbedmeandmineofthebestpartofMissCrawley’sfortune。Waxysaysshehashim“——heretheRectorshookhisfistatthemoon，withsomethingverylikeanoath，andadded，inamelancholioustone，“——，downinherwillforfiftythousand；andtherewon’tbeabovethirtytodivide。”

“Ithinkshe’sgoing。”saidtheRector’swife。”Shewasveryredinthefacewhenweleftdinner。Iwasobligedtounlaceher。”

“Shedranksevenglassesofchampagne。”saidthereverendgentleman，inalowvoice；“andfilthychampagneitis，too，thatmybrotherpoisonsuswith——butyouwomenneverknowwhat’swhat。”

“Weknownothing。”saidMrs。ButeCrawley。

“Shedrankcherry-brandyafterdinner。”continuedhisReverence，“andtookcuracaowithhercoffee。I

wouldn’ttakeaglassforafive-poundnote：itkillsmewithheartburn。Shecan’tstandit，Mrs。Crawley——shemustgo——fleshandbloodwon’tbearit！andIlayfivetotwo，Matildadropsinayear。”

Indulginginthesesolemnspeculations，andthinkingabouthisdebts，andhissonJimatCollege，andFrankatWoolwich，andthefourgirls，whowerenobeauties，poorthings，andwouldnothaveapennybutwhattheygotfromtheaunt’sexpectedlegacy，theRectorandhisladywalkedonforawhile。

“Pittcan’tbesuchaninfernalvillainastosellthereversionoftheliving。AndthatMethodistmilksopofaneldestsonlookstoParliament。”continuedMr。Crawley，afterapause。

“SirPittCrawleywilldoanything。”saidtheRector’swife。”WemustgetMissCrawleytomakehimpromiseittoJames。”

“Pittwillpromiseanything。”repliedthebrother。”Hepromisedhe’dpaymycollegebills，whenmyfatherdied；

hepromisedhe’dbuildthenewwingtotheRectory；

hepromisedhe’dletmehaveJibb’sfieldandtheSix-

acreMeadow——andmuchheexecutedhispromises！Andit’stothisman’sson——thisscoundrel，gambler，swindler，murdererofaRawdonCrawley，thatMatildaleavesthebulkofhermoney。Isayit’sun-Christian。ByJove，itis。

Theinfamousdoghasgoteveryviceexcepthypocrisy，andthatbelongstohisbrother。”

“Hush，mydearestlove！we’reinSirPitt’sgrounds。”

interposedhiswife。

“Isayhehasgoteveryvice，Mrs。Crawley。Don’tMa’am，bullyme。Didn’theshootCaptainMarker？Didn’therobyoungLordDovedaleattheCocoa-Tree？Didn’thecrossthefightbetweenBillSoamesandtheCheshireTrump，bywhichIlostfortypound？Youknowhedid；

andasforthewomen，why，youheardthatbeforeme，inmyownmagistrate’sroom“

“Forheaven’ssake，Mr。Crawley。”saidthelady，“sparemethedetails。”

“Andyouaskthisvillainintoyourhouse！”continuedtheexasperatedRector。”You，themotherofayoungfamily——thewifeofaclergymanoftheChurchofEngland。ByJove！”

“ButeCrawley，youareafool。”saidtheRector’swifescornfully。

“Well，Ma’am，foolornot——andIdon’tsay，Martha，I’msocleverasyouare，Ineverdid。ButIwon’tmeetRawdonCrawley，that’sflat。I’llgoovertoHuddleston，thatIwill，andseehisblackgreyhound，Mrs。Crawley；

andI’llrunLancelotagainsthimforfifty。ByJove，Iwill；

oragainstanydoginEngland。ButIwon’tmeetthatbeastRawdonCrawley。”

“Mr。Crawley，youareintoxicated，asusual。”repliedhiswife。Andthenextmorning，whentheRectorwoke，andcalledforsmallbeer，sheputhiminmindofhispromisetovisitSirHuddlestonFuddlestononSaturday，andasheknewheshouldhaveawetnight，itwasagreedthathemightgallopbackagainintimeforchurchonSundaymorning。ThusitwillbeseenthattheparishionersofCrawleywereequallyhappyintheirSquireandintheirRector。

MissCrawleyhadnotlongbeenestablishedattheHallbeforeRebecca’sfascinationshadwontheheartofthatgood-naturedLondonrake，astheyhadofthecountryinnocentswhomwehavebeendescribing。Takingheraccustomeddrive，oneday，shethoughtfittoorderthat“thatlittlegoverness“shouldaccompanyhertoMudbury。

BeforetheyhadreturnedRebeccahadmadeaconquestofher；havingmadeherlaughfourtimes，andamusedherduringthewholeofthelittlejourney。

“NotletMissSharpdineattable！”saidshetoSirPitt，whohadarrangedadinnerofceremony，andaskedalltheneighbouringbaronets。”Mydearcreature，doyousupposeIcantalkaboutthenurserywithLadyFuddleston，ordiscussjustices’businesswiththatgoose，oldSirGilesWapshot？IinsistuponMissSharpappearing。LetLadyCrawleyremainupstairs，ifthereisnoroom。ButlittleMissSharp！Why，she’stheonlypersonfittotalktointhecounty！”

Ofcourse，aftersuchaperemptoryorderasthis，MissSharp，thegoverness，receivedcommandstodinewiththeillustriouscompanybelowstairs。AndwhenSirHuddlestonhad，withgreatpompandceremony，handedMissCrawleyintodinner，andwaspreparingtotakehisplacebyherside，theoldladycriedout，inashrillvoice，“BeckySharp！MissSharp！Comeyouandsitbymeandamuseme；andletSirHuddlestonsitbyLadyWapshot。”