第21章

SentimentalandOtherwiseIfearthegentlemantowhomMissAmelia’sletterswereaddressedwasratheranobduratecritic。SuchanumberofnotesfollowedLieutenantOsborneaboutthecountry，thathebecamealmostashamedofthejokesofhismess-roomcompanionsregardingthem，andorderedhisservantnevertodeliverthemexceptathisprivateapartment。

Hewasseenlightinghiscigarwithone，tothehorrorofCaptainDobbin，who，itismybelief，wouldhavegivenabank-noteforthedocument。

ForsometimeGeorgestrovetokeeptheliaisonasecret。Therewasawomaninthecase，thatheadmitted。

“Andnotthefirsteither。”saidEnsignSpooneytoEnsignStubble。”ThatOsborne’sadevilofafellow。Therewasajudge’sdaughteratDemerarawentalmostmadabouthim；thentherewasthatbeautifulquadroongirl，MissPye，atSt。Vincent’s，youknow；andsincehe’sbeenhome，theysayhe’saregularDonGiovanni，byJove。”

StubbleandSpooneythoughtthattobea“regularDonGiovanni，byJove“wasoneofthefinestqualitiesamancouldpossess，andOsborne’sreputationwasprodigiousamongsttheyoungmenoftheregiment。Hewasfamousinfield-sports，famousatasong，famousonparade；freewithhismoney，whichwasbountifullysuppliedbyhisfather。Hiscoatswerebettermadethananyman’sintheregiment，andhehadmoreofthem。Hewasadoredbythemen。Hecoulddrinkmorethananyofficerofthewholemess，includingoldHeavytop，thecolonel。HecouldsparbetterthanKnuckles，theprivate(whowouldhavebeenacorporalbutforhisdrunkenness，andwhohadbeenintheprize-ring)；andwasthebestbatterandbowler，outandout，oftheregimentalclub。

Herodehisownhorse，GreasedLightning，andwontheGarrisoncupatQuebecraces。TherewereotherpeoplebesidesAmeliawhoworshippedhim。StubbleandSpooneythoughthimasortofApollo；DobbintookhimtobeanAdmirableCrichton；andMrs。MajorO’Dowdacknowledgedhewasanelegantyoungfellow，andputherinmindofFitzjurldFogarty，LordCastlefogarty’ssecondson。

Well，StubbleandSpooneyandtherestindulgedinmostromanticconjecturesregardingthisfemalecorrespondentofOsborne’s——opiningthatitwasaDuchessinLondonwhowasinlovewithhim——orthatitwasaGeneral’sdaughter，whowasengagedtosomebodyelse，andmadlyattachedtohim——orthatitwasaMemberofParliament’slady，whoproposedfourhorsesandanelopement——orthatitwassomeothervictimofapassiondelightfullyexciting，romantic，anddisgracefultoallparties，onnoneofwhichconjectureswouldOsbornethrowtheleastlight，leavinghisyoungadmirersandfriendstoinventandarrangetheirwholehistory。

AndtherealstateofthecasewouldneverhavebeenknownatallintheregimentbutforCaptainDobbin’sindiscretion。TheCaptainwaseatinghisbreakfastonedayinthemess-room，whileCackle，theassistant-surgeon，andthetwoabove-namedworthieswerespeculatinguponOsborne’sintrigue——StubbleholdingoutthattheladywasaDuchessaboutQueenCharlotte’scourt，andCacklevowingshewasanopera-singeroftheworstreputation。

AtthisideaDobbinbecamesomoved，thatthoughhismouthwasfullofeggsandbread-and-butteratthetime，andthoughheoughtnottohavespokenatall，yethecouldn’thelpblurtingout，“Cackle，you’reastupidfool。

You’realwaystalkingnonsenseandscandal。OsborneisnotgoingtorunoffwithaDuchessorruinamilliner。

MissSedleyisoneofthemostcharmingyoungwomenthateverlived。He’sbeenengagedtohereversolong；

andthemanwhocallshernameshadbetternotdosoinmyhearing。”Withwhich，turningexceedinglyred，Dobbinceasedspeaking，andalmostchokedhimselfwithacupoftea。Thestorywasovertheregimentinhalf-an-

hour；andthatveryeveningMrs。MajorO’DowdwroteofftohersisterGlorvinaatO’DowdstownnottohurryfromDublin——youngOsbornebeingprematurelyengagedalready。

ShecomplimentedtheLieutenantinanappropriatespeechoveraglassofwhisky-toddythatevening，andhewenthomeperfectlyfurioustoquarrelwithDobbin(whohaddeclinedMrs。MajorO’Dowd’sparty，andsatinhisownroomplayingtheflute，and，Ibelieve，writingpoetryinaverymelancholymanner)——toquarrelwithDobbinforbetrayinghissecret。

“Whothedeuceaskedyoutotalkaboutmyaffairs？”

Osborneshoutedindignantly。”WhythedevilisalltheregimenttoknowthatIamgoingtobemarried？Whyisthattattlingoldharridan，PeggyO’Dowd，tomakefreewithmynameatherd——dsupper-table，andadvertisemyengagementoverthethreekingdoms？Afterall，