第20章

“It’sapityFrederickBullockhadn’tsomeofhismodesty，Maria。”repliestheeldersister，withatossofhehead。

“Modesty！Awkwardnessyoumean，Jane。Idon’twantFredericktotrampleaholeinmymuslinfrock，asCaptainDobbindidinyoursatMrs。Perkins’。”

“InYOURfrock，he，he！Howcouldhe？Wasn’thedancingwithAmelia？”

Thefactis，whenCaptainDobbinblushedso，andlookedsoawkward，herememberedacircumstanceofwhichhedidnotthinkitwasnecessarytoinformtheyoungladies，viz。，thathehadbeencallingatMr。Sedley’shousealready，onthepretenceofseeingGeorge，ofcourse，andGeorgewasn’tthere，onlypoorlittleAmelia，withratherasadwistfulface，seatednearthedrawing-

roomwindow，who，aftersomeverytriflingstupidtalk，venturedtoask，wasthereanytruthinthereportthattheregimentwassoontobeorderedabroad；andhadCaptainDobbinseenMr。Osbornethatday？

Theregimentwasnotorderedabroadasyet；andCaptainDobbinhadnotseenGeorge。”Hewaswithhissister，mostlikely。”theCaptainsaid。”Shouldhegoandfetchthetruant？”Soshegavehimherhandkindlyandgratefully：andhecrossedthesquare；andshewaitedandwaited，butGeorgenevercame。

Poorlittletenderheart！andsoitgoesonhopingandbeating，andlongingandtrusting。Youseeitisnotmuchofalifetodescribe。Thereisnotmuchofwhatyoucallincidentinit。Onlyonefeelingallday——whenwillhecome？onlyonethoughttosleepandwakeupon。I

believeGeorgewasplayingbilliardswithCaptainCannoninSwallowStreetatthetimewhenAmeliawasaskingCaptainDobbinabouthim；forGeorgewasajollysociablefellow，andexcellentinallgamesofskill。

Once，afterthreedaysofabsence，MissAmeliaputonherbonnet，andactuallyinvadedtheOsbornehouse。

“What！leaveourbrothertocometous？”saidtheyoungladies。”Haveyouhadaquarrel，Amelia？Dotellus！”

No，indeed，therehadbeennoquarrel。”Whocouldquarrelwithhim？”saysshe，withhereyesfilledwithtears。

Sheonlycameoverto——toseeherdearfriends；theyhadnotmetforsolong。Andthisdayshewassoperfectlystupidandawkward，thattheMissesOsborneandtheirgoverness，whostaredafterherasshewentsadlyaway，wonderedmorethaneverwhatGeorgecouldseeinpoorlittleAmelia。

Ofcoursetheydid。Howwasshetobarethattimidlittleheartfortheinspectionofthoseyoungladieswiththeirboldblackeyes？Itwasbestthatitshouldshrinkandhideitself。IknowtheMissesOsbornewereexcellentcriticsofaCashmereshawl，orapinksatinslip；andwhenMissTurnerhadhersdyedpurple，andmadeintoaspencer；andwhenMissPickfordhadhererminetippettwistedintoamuffandtrimmings，Iwarrantyouthechangesdidnotescapethetwointelligentyoungwomenbeforementioned。Buttherearethings，lookyou，ofafinertexturethanfurorsatin，andallSolomon’sglories，andallthewardrobeoftheQueenofSheba——thingswhereofthebeautyescapestheeyesofmanyconnoisseurs。Andtherearesweetmodestlittlesoulsonwhichyoulight，fragrantandbloomingtenderlyinquietshadyplaces；andtherearegarden-ornaments，asbigasbrasswarming-pans，thatarefittostarethesunitselfoutofcountenance。MissSedleywasnotofthesunflowersort；

andIsayitisoutoftherulesofallproportiontodrawavioletofthesizeofadoubledahlia。

No，indeed；thelifeofagoodyounggirlwhoisinthepaternalnestasyet，can’thavemanyofthosethrillingincidentstowhichtheheroineofromancecommonlylaysclaim。Snaresorshotmaytakeofftheoldbirdsforagingwithout——hawksmaybeabroad，fromwhichtheyescapeorbywhomtheysuffer；buttheyoungonesinthenesthaveaprettycomfortableunromanticsortofexistenceinthedownandthestraw，tillitcomestotheirturn，too，togetonthewing。WhileBeckySharpwasonherownwinginthecountry，hoppingonallsortsoftwigs，andamidamultiplicityoftraps，andpeckingupherfoodquiteharmlessandsuccessful，AmelialaysnuginherhomeofRussellSquare；ifshewentintotheworld，itwasundertheguidanceoftheelders；nordiditseemthatanyevilcouldbefallherorthatopulentcheerycomfortablehomeinwhichshewasaffectionatelysheltered。

Mammahadhermorningduties，andherdailydrive，andthedelightfulroundofvisitsandshoppingwhichformstheamusement，ortheprofessionasyoumaycallit，oftherichLondonlady。PapaconductedhismysteriousoperationsintheCity——astirringplaceinthosedays，whenwarwasragingalloverEurope，andempireswerebeingstaked；whenthe“Courier“newspaperhadtensofthousandsofsubscribers；whenonedaybroughtyouabattleofVittoria，anotheraburningofMoscow，oranewsman’shornblowingdownRussellSquareaboutdinner-time，announcedsuchafactas——“BattleofLeipsic——sixhundredthousandmenengaged——totaldefeatoftheFrench——twohundredthousandkilled。”OldSedleyonceortwicecamehomewithaverygraveface；

andnowonder，whensuchnewsasthiswasagitatingalltheheartsandalltheStocksofEurope。

MeanwhilematterswentoninRussellSquare，Bloomsbury，justasifmattersinEuropewerenotintheleastdisorganised。TheretreatfromLeipsicmadenodifferenceinthenumberofmealsMr。Sambotookintheservants’hall；thealliespouredintoFrance，andthedinner-belIrangatfiveo’clockjustasusual。Idon’tthinkpoorAmeliacaredanythingaboutBrienneandMontmirail，orwasfairlyinterestedinthewaruntiltheabdicationoftheEmperor；whensheclappedherhandsandsaidprayers——oh，howgrateful！andflungherselfintoGeorgeOsborne’sarmswithallhersoul，totheastonishmentofeverybodywhowitnessedthatebullitionofsentiment。

Thefactis，peacewasdeclared，Europewasgoingtobeatrest；theCorsicanwasoverthrown，andLieutenantOsborne’sregimentwouldnotbeorderedonservice。ThatwasthewayinwhichMissAmeliareasoned。ThefateofEuropewasLieutenantGeorgeOsbornetoher。Hisdangersbeingover，shesangTeDeum。HewasherEurope：

heremperor：heralliedmonarchsandaugustprinceregent。Hewashersunandmoon；andIbelieveshethoughtthegrandilluminationandballattheMansionHouse，giventothesovereigns，wereespeciallyinhonourofGeorgeOsborne。

Wehavetalkedofshift，self，andpoverty，asthosedismalinstructorsunderwhompoorMissBeckySharpgothereducation。Now，lovewasMissAmeliaSedley’slasttutoress，anditwasamazingwhatprogressouryoungladymadeunderthatpopularteacher。Inthecourseoffifteenoreighteenmonths’dailyandconstantattentiontothiseminentfinishinggoverness，whatadealofsecretsAmelialearned，whichMissWirtandtheblack-eyedyoungladiesovertheway，whicholdMissPinkertonofChiswickherself，hadnocognizanceof！As，indeed，howshouldanyofthoseprimandreputablevirgins？WithMissesP。andW。thetenderpassionisoutofthequestion：Iwouldnotdaretobreathesuchanidearegardingthem。MissMariaOsborne，itistrue，was“attached“toMr。FrederickAugustusBullock，ofthefirmofHulker，Bullock&Bullock；butherswasamostrespectableattachment，andshewouldhavetakenBullockSeniorjustthesame，hermindbeingfixed——asthatofawell-bredyoungwomanshouldbe——uponahouseinParkLane，acountryhouseatWimbledon，ahandsomechariot，andtwoprodigioustallhorsesandfootmen，andafourthoftheannualprofitsoftheeminentfirmofHulker&

Bullock，allofwhichadvantageswererepresentedinthepersonofFrederickAugustus。Hadorangeblossomsbeeninventedthen(thosetouchingemblemsoffemalepurityimportedbyusfromFrance，wherepeople’sdaughtersareuniversallysoldinmarriage)，MissMaria，Isay，wouldhaveassumedthespotlesswreath，andsteppedintothetravellingcarriagebythesideofgouty，old，bald-

headed，bottle-nosedBullockSenior；anddevotedherbeautifulexistencetohishappinesswithperfectmodesty——onlytheoldgentlemanwasmarriedalready；soshebestowedheryoungaffectionsonthejuniorpartner。

Sweet，blooming，orangeflowers！TheotherdayIsawMissTrotter(thatwas)，arrayedinthem，tripintothetravellingcarriageatSt。George’s，HanoverSquare，andLordMethuselahhobbledinafter。Withwhatanengagingmodestyshepulleddowntheblindsofthechariot——thedearinnocent！TherewerehalfthecarriagesofVanityFairatthewedding。

ThiswasnotthesortoflovethatfinishedAmelia’seducation；andinthecourseofayearturnedagoodyounggirlintoagoodyoungwoman——tobeagoodwifepresently，whenthehappytimeshouldcome。Thisyoungperson(perhapsitwasveryimprudentinherparentstoencourageher，andabetherinsuchidolatryandsillyromanticideas)loved，withallherheart，theyoungofficerinHisMajesty’sservicewithwhomwehavemadeabriefacquaintance。Shethoughtabouthimtheveryfirstmomentonwaking；andhiswastheverylastnamementionedmherprayers。Sheneverhadseenamansobeautifulorsoclever：suchafigureonhorseback：suchadancer：suchaheroingeneral。TalkofthePrince’sbow！whatwasittoGeorge’s？ShehadseenMr。

Brummell，whomeverybodypraisedso。ComparesuchapersonasthattoherGeorge！NotamongstallthebeauxattheOpera(andtherewerebeauxinthosedayswithactualoperahats)wasthereanyonetoequalhim。Hewasonlygoodenoughtobeafairyprince；andoh，whatmagnanimitytostooptosuchahumbleCinderella！MissPinkertonwouldhavetriedtocheckthisblinddevotionverylikely，hadshebeenAmelia’sconfidante；butnotwithmuchsuccess，dependuponit。Itisinthenatureandinstinctofsomewomen。Somearemadetoscheme，andsometolove；andIwishanyrespectedbachelorthatreadsthismaytakethesortthatbestlikeshim。

Whileunderthisoverpoweringimpression，MissAmelianeglectedhertwelvedearfriendsatChiswickmostcruelly，assuchselfishpeoplecommonlywilldo。Shehadbutthissubject，ofcourse，tothinkabout；andMissSaltirewastoocoldforaconfidante，andshecouldn’tbringhermindtotellMissSwartz，thewoolly-hairedyoungheiressfromSt。Kitt’s。ShehadlittleLauraMartinhomefortheholidays；andmybeliefis，shemadeaconfidanteofher，andpromisedthatLaurashouldcomeandlivewithherwhenshewasmarried，andgaveLauraagreatdealofinformationregardingthepassionoflove，whichmusthavebeensingularlyusefulandnoveltothatlittleperson。Alas，alas！IfearpoorEmmyhadnotawell-regulatedmind。

Whatwereherparentsdoing，nottokeepthislittleheartfrombeatingsofast？OldSedleydidnotseemmuchtonoticematters。Hewasgraveroflate，andhisCityaffairsabsorbedhim。Mrs。Sedleywasofsoeasyanduninquisitiveanaturethatshewasn’tevenjealous。Mr。

Joswasaway，beingbesiegedbyanIrishwidowatCheltenham。Ameliahadthehousetoherself——ah！toomuchtoherselfsometimes——notthatsheeverdoubted；

for，tobesure，GeorgemustbeattheHorseGuards；

andhecan’talwaysgetleavefromChatham；andhemustseehisfriendsandsisters，andmingleinsocietywhenintown(he，suchanornamenttoeverysociety！)；andwhenheiswiththeregiment，heistootiredtowritelongletters。Iknowwhereshekeptthatpacketshehad——andcanstealinandoutofherchamberlikeIachimo——likeIachimo？No——thatisabadpart。IwillonlyactMoonshine，andpeepharmlessintothebedwherefaithandbeautyandinnocenceliedreaming。

ButifOsborne’swereshortandsoldierlikeletters，itmustbeconfessed，thatwereMissSedley’sletterstoMr。

Osbornetobepublished，weshouldhavetoextendthisnoveltosuchamultiplicityofvolumesasnotthemostsentimentalreadercouldsupport；thatshenotonlyfilledsheetsoflargepaper，butcrossedthemwiththemostastonishingperverseness；thatshewrotewholepagesoutofpoetry-bookswithouttheleastpity；thatsheunderlinedwordsandpassageswithquiteafranticemphasis；

and，infine，gavetheusualtokensofhercondition。Shewasn’taheroine。Herletterswerefullofrepetition。Shewroteratherdoubtfulgrammarsometimes，andinherversestookallsortsoflibertieswiththemetre。Butoh，mesdames，ifyouarenotallowedtotouchtheheartsometimesinspiteofsyntax，andarenottobeloveduntilyouallknowthedifferencebetweentrimeterandtetrameter，mayallPoetrygotothedeuce，andeveryschoolmasterperishmiserably！