第35章

`IamthankfultosayIhaven’t。’

`ThenIdon’tthinkyouareinapositiontogiveanopinion。

Ihavebeenthatman，anditmakesallthedifferenceintheworld，ifonehasanymanlinessorchivalryinhim。Ihadnottheremotestidea-

livingapartfromwomenasIhavedoneforsomanyyears-thatmerelytakingawomantochurchandputtingaringuponherfingercouldbyanypossibilityinvolveoneinsuchadaily，continuoustragedyasthatnowsharedbyherandme！’

`Well，Icouldadmitsomeexcuseforlettingherleaveyou，providedshekepttoherself。Buttogoattendedbyacavalier-thatmakesadifference。’

`Notabit。Suppose，asIbelieve，shewouldratherendureherpresentmiserythanbemadetopromisetokeepapartfromhim？Allthatisaquestionforherself。Itisnotthesamethingatallasthetreacheryoflivingonwithahusbandandplayinghimfalse……However，shehasnotdistinctlyimpliedlivingwithhimaswife，thoughIthinkshemeansto……Andtothebestofmyunderstandingitisnotanignoble，merelyanimal，feelingbetweenthetwo：thatistheworstofit；becauseitmakesmethinktheiraffectionwillbeenduring。Ididnotmeantoconfesstoyouthatinthefirstjealousweeksofmymarriage，beforeIhadcometomyrightmind，Ihidmyselfintheschooloneeveningwhentheyweretogetherthere，andIheardwhattheysaid。Iamashamedofitnow，thoughIsupposeIwasonlyexercisingalegalright。Ifoundfromtheirmannerthatanextraordinaryaffinity，orsympathy，enteredintotheirattachment，whichsomehowtookawayallflavourofgrossness。Theirsupremedesireistobetogether-toshareeachother’semotions，andfancies，anddreams。’

`Platonic！’

`Wellno。Shelleyanwouldbenearertoit。Theyremindmeof-

whataretheirnames-LaonandCythna。AlsoofPaulandVirginiaalittle。

ThemoreIreflect，themoreentirelyIamontheirside！’

`Butifpeopledidasyouwanttodo，there’dbeageneraldomesticdisintegration。Thefamilywouldnolongerbethesocialunit。’

`Yes-Iamallabroad，Isuppose！’saidPhillotsonsadly。`I

wasneveraverybrightreasoner，youremember……Andyet，Idon’tseewhythewomanandthechildrenshouldnotbetheunitwithouttheman。’

`BytheLordHarry！-Matriarchy！……Doesshesayallthistoo？’

`Ohno。ShelittlethinksIhaveout-SuedSueinthis-allinthelasttwelvehours！’

`Itwillupsetallreceivedopinionhereabout。GoodGod-whatwillShastonsay！’

`Idon’tsaythatitwon’t。Idon’tknow-Idon’tknow！……AsIsay，Iamonlyafeeler，notareasoner。’

`Now，’saidGillingham，`letustakeitquietly，andhavesomethingtodrinkoverit。’Hewentunderthestairs，andproducedabottleofcider-wine，ofwhichtheydrankarummereach。`Ithinkyouarerafted，andnotyourself，’

hecontinued。`Dogobackandmakeupyourmindtoputupwithafewwhims。

Butkeepher。Ihearonallsidesthatshe’sacharmingyoungthing。’

`Ahyes！That’sthebitternessofit！Well，Iwon’tstay。Ihavealongwalkbeforeme。’

Gillinghamaccompaniedhisfriendamileonhisway，andatpartingexpressedhishopethatthisconsultation，singularasitssubjectwas，wouldbetherenewaloftheiroldcomradeship。`Sticktoher！’werehislastwords，flungintothedarknessafterPhillotson；fromwhichhisfriendanswered`Aye，aye！’

ButwhenPhillotsonwasaloneunderthecloudsofnight，andnosoundwasaudiblebutthatofthepurlingtributariesoftheStour，hesaid，`SoGillingham，myfriend，youhadnostrongerargumentsagainstitthanthose！’

`Ithinksheoughttobesmacked，andbroughttohersenses-

that’swhatIthink！’murmuredGillingham，ashewalkedbackalone。

Thenextmorningcame，andatbreakfastPhillotsontoldSue：

`Youmaygo-withwhomyouwill。Iabsolutelyandunconditionallyagree。’

HavingoncecometothisconclusionitseemedtoPhillotsonmoreandmoreindubitablythetrueone。Hismildserenityatthesensethathewasdoinghisdutybyawomanwhowasathismercyalmostoverpoweredhisgriefatrelinquishingher。

Somedayspassed，andtheeveningoftheirlastmealtogetherhadc