第11章

Judewouldnowhavebeendescribedasayoungmanwithaforcible，meditative，andearnestratherthanhandsomecastofcountenance。Hewasofdarkcomplexion，withdarkharmonizingeyes，andheworeacloselytrimmedblackbeardofmoreadvancedgrowththanisusualathisage；this，withhisgreatmassofblackcurlyhair，wassometroubletohimincombingandwashingoutthestone-dustthatsettledonitinthepursuitofhistrade。Hiscapabilitiesinthelatter，havingbeenacquiredinthecountry，wereofanall-roundsort，includingmonumentalstone-cutting，gothicfree-stoneworkfortherestorationofchurches，andcarvingofageneralkind。InLondonhewouldprobablyhavebecomespecializedandhavemadehimselfa`mouldingmason，’a`foliagesculptor’-perhapsa`statuary。’

HehadthatafternoondriveninacartfromAlfredstontothevillagenearestthecityinthisdirection，andwasnowwalkingtheremainingfourmilesratherfromchoicethanfromnecessity，havingalwaysfanciedhimselfarrivingthus。

Theultimateimpulsetocomehadhadacuriousorigin-onemorenearlyrelatedtotheemotionalsideofhimthantotheintellectual，asisoftenthecasewithyoungmen。OnedaywhileinlodgingsatAlfredstonhehadgonetoMarygreentoseehisoldaunt，andhadobservedbetweenthebrasscandlesticksonhermantlepiecethephotographofaprettygirlishface，inabroadhatwithradiatingfoldsunderthebrimliketheraysofahalo。Hehadaskedwhoshewas。Hisgrand-aunthadgrufflyrepliedthatshewashiscousinSueBridehead，oftheinimicalbranchofthefamily；

andonfurtherquestioningtheoldwomanhadrepliedthatthegirllivedinChristminster，thoughshedidnotknowwhere，orwhatshewasdoing。

Hisauntwouldnotgivehimthephotograph。Butithauntedhim；

andultimatelyformedaquickeningingredientinhislatentintentoffollowinghisfriendtheschoolmasterthither。

Henowpausedatthetopofacrookedandgentledeclivity，andobtainedhisfirstnearviewofthecity。Grey-stonedanddun-roofed，itstoodwithinhailoftheWessexborder，andalmostwiththetipofonesmalltoewithinit，atthenorthernmostpointofthecrinkledlinealongwhichtheleisurelyThamesstrokesthefieldsofthatancientkingdom。

Thebuildingsnowlayquietinthesunset，avanehereandthereontheirmanyspiresanddomesgivingsparkletoapictureofsobersecondaryandtertiaryhues。

Reachingthebottomhemovedalongthelevelwaybetweenpollardwillowsgrowingindistinctinthetwilight，andsoonconfrontedtheoutmostlampsofthetown-someofthoselampswhichhadsentintotheskythegleamandglorythatcaughthisstrainedgazeinhisdaysofdreaming，somanyyearsago。Theywinkedtheiryelloweyesathimdubiously，andasif，thoughtheyhadbeenawaitinghimalltheseyearsindisappointmentathistarrying，theydidnotmuchwanthimnow。

HewasaspeciesofDickWhittingtonwhosespiritwastouchedtofinerissuesthanamerematerialgain。Hewentalongtheoutlyingstreetswiththecautioustreadofanexplorer。Hesawnothingoftherealcityinthesuburbsonthisside。Hisfirstwantbeingalodginghescrutinizedcarefullysuchlocalitiesasseemedtoofferoninexpensivetermsthemodesttypeofaccommodationhedemanded；andafterinquirytookaroominasuburbnicknamed`Beersheba，’thoughhedidnotknowthisatthetime。Hereheinstalledhimself，andhavinghadsometeasalliedforth。

Itwasawindy，whispering，moonlessnight。Toguidehimselfheopenedunderalampamaphehadbrought。Thebreezeruffledandflutteredit，buthecouldseeenoughtodecideonthedirectionheshouldtaketoreachtheheartoftheplace。

Aftermanyturningshecameuptothefirstancientmediaevalpilethathehadencountered。Itwasacollege，ashecouldseebythegateway。Heenteredit，walkedround，andpenetratedtodarkcornerswhichnolamplightreached。Closetothiscollegewasanother；andalittlefurtheronanother；andthenhebegantobeencircledasitwerewiththebreathandsentimentofthevenerablecity。Whenhepassedobjectsoutofharmonywithitsgeneralexpressionheallowedhiseyestoslipoverthemasifhedidnotseethem。

Abellbeganclanging，andhelistenedtillahundred-and-onestrokeshadsounded。Hemusthavemadeamis-take，hethought：itwasmeantforahundred。

Whenthegateswereshut，andhecouldnolongergetintothequadrangles，herambledunderthewallsanddoorways，feelingwithhisfingersthecontoursoftheirmouldingsandcarving。Theminutespassed，fewerandfewerpeoplewerevisible，andstillheserpentinedamongtheshadows，forhadhenotimaginedthesescenesthroughtenbygoneyears，andwhatmatteredanight’srestforonce？Highagainsttheblackskytheflashofalampwouldshowcrocketedpinnaclesandindentedbattlements。

Downobscurealleys，apparentlynevertroddennowbythefootofman，andwhoseveryexistenceseemedtobeforgotten，therewouldjutintothepathporticoes，oriels，doorwaysofenrichedandfloridmiddle-agedesign，theirextinctairbeingaccentuatedbytherottennessofthestones。Itseemedimpossiblethatmodernthoughtcouldhouseitselfinsuchdecrepitandsupersededchambers。

Knowingnotahumanbeinghere，Judebegantobeimpressedwiththeisolationofhisownpersonality，aswithaself-spectre，thesensationbeingthatofonewhowalkedbutcouldnotmakehimselfseenorheard。

Hedrewhisbreathpensively，and，seemingthusalmosthisownghost，gavehisthoughtstotheotherghostlypresenceswithwhichthenookswerehaunted。

Duringtheintervalofpreparationforthisventure，sincehiswifeandfurniture’suncompromisingdisappearanceintospace，hehadreadandlearntalmostallthatcouldbereadandlearntbyoneinhisposition，oftheworthieswhohadspenttheiryouthwithinthesereverendwalls，andwhosesoulshadhauntedthemintheirmaturerage。Someofthem，bytheaccidentsofhisreading，loomedoutinhisfancydisproportionatelylargebycomparisonwiththerest。Thebrushingsofthewindagainsttheangles，buttresses，anddoor-jambswereasthepassingoftheseonlyotherinhabitants，thetappingsofeachivyleafonitsneighbourwereasthemutteringsoftheirmournfulsouls，theshadowsastheirthinshapesinnervousmovement，makinghimcomradesinhissolitude。Inthegloomitwasasifheranagainstthemwithoutfeelingtheirbodilyframes。

Thestreetswerenowdeserted，butonaccountofthesethingshecouldnotgoin。Therewerepoetsabroad，ofearlydateandoflate，fromthefriendandeulogistofShakespearedowntohimwhohasrecentlypassedintosilence，andthatmusicaloneofthetribewhoisstillamongus。Speculativephilosophersdrewalong，notalwayswithwrinkledforeheadsandhoaryhairasinframedportraits，butpink-faced，slim，andactiveasinyouth；moderndivinessheetedintheirsurplices，amongwhomthemostrealtoJudeFawleywerethefoundersofthereligiousschoolcalledTractarian；thewell-knownthree，theenthusiast，thepoet，andtheformularist，theechoesofwhoseteachingshadinfluencedhimeveninhisobscurehome。

Astartofaversionappearedinhisfancytomovethematsightofthoseothersonsoftheplace，theforminthefull-bottomedwig，statesmanrake，reasonerandsceptic；thesmoothlyshavenhistoriansoironicallyciviltoChristianity；withothersofthesameincreduloustemper，whokneweachquadaswellasthefaithful，andtookequalfreedominhauntingitscloisters。

Heregardedthestatesmenintheirvarioustypes，menoffirmermovementandlessdreamyair；thescholar，thespeaker，theplodder；themanwhosemindgrewwithhisgrowthinyears，andthemanwhosemindcontractedwiththesame。

Thescientistsandphilologistsfollowedoninhismind-sightinanoddimpossiblecombination，menofmeditativefaces，strainedforeheads，andweak-eyedasbatswithconstantresearch；thenofficialcharacters-suchmenasgovernor-generalsandlord-lieutenants，inwhomhetooklittleinterest；chief-justicesandlordchancellors，silentthin-lippedfiguresofwhomheknewbarelythenames。Akeenerregardattachedtotheprelates，byreasonofhisownformerhopes。Ofthemhehadanampleband-somemenofheart，othersrathermenofhead；hewhoapologizedfortheChurchinLatin；thesaintlyauthoroftheEveningHymn；andnearthemthegreatitinerantpreacher，hymn-writer，andzealot，shadowedlikeJudebyhismatrimonialdifficulties。

Judefoundhimselfspeakingoutloud，holdingconversationswiththemasitwere，likeanactorinamelodramawhoapostrophizestheaudienceontheothersideofthefootlights；tillhesuddenlyceasedwithastartathisabsurdity。Perhapsthoseincoherentwordsofthewandererwereheardwithinthewallsbysomestudentorthinkeroverhislamp；andhemayhaveraisedhishead，andwonderedwhatvoiceitwas，andwhatitbetokened。

Judenowperceivedthat，sofarassolidfleshwent，hehadthewholeagedcitytohimselfwiththeexceptionofabelatedtownsmanhereandthere，andthatheseemedtobecatchingacold。

Avoicereachedhimoutoftheshade；arealandlocalvoice：

`You’vebeena-settin’alongtimeonthatplinth-stone，youngman。Whatmedyoubeupto？’

ItcamefromapolicemanwhohadbeenobservingJudewithoutthelatterobservinghim。

Judewenthomeandtobed，afterreadingupalittleaboutthesemenandtheirseveralmessagestotheworldfromabookortwothathehadbroughtwithhimconcerningthesonsoftheuniversity。Ashedrewtowardssleepvariousmemorablewordsoftheirsthathehadjustbeenconningseemedspokenbytheminmutteringutterances；someaudible，someunintelligibletohim。Oneofthespectres(whoafterwardsmournedChristminsteras`thehomeoflostcauses，’thoughJudedidnotrememberthis)wasnowapostrophizingherthus：

`Beautifulcity！sovenerable，solovely，sounravagedbythefierceintellectuallifeofourcentury，soserene！……Herineffablecharmkeepsevercallingustothetruegoalofallofus，totheideal，toperfection。’

AnothervoicewasthatoftheCornLawconvert，whosephantomhehadjustseeninthequadranglewithagreatbell。Judethoughthissoulmighthavebeenshapingthehistoricwordsofhismaster-speech：

`Sir，Imaybewrong，butmyimpressionisthatmydutytowardsacountrythreatenedwithfaminerequiresthatthatwhichhasbeentheordinaryremedyunderallsimilarcircumstancesshouldberesortedtonow，namely，thatthereshouldbefreeaccesstothefoodofmanfromwhateverquarteritmaycome……Deprivemeofofficeto-morrow，youcanneverdeprivemeoftheconsciousnessthatIhaveexercisedthepowerscommittedtomefromnocorruptorinterestedmotives，fromnodesiretogratifyambition，fornopersonalgain。’

ThentheslyauthoroftheimmortalChapteronChristianity：`HowshallweexcusethesupineinattentionofthePaganandphilosophicworld，tothoseevidences[miracles]whichwerepresentedbyOmnipotence？……

ThesagesofGreeceandRometurnedasidefromtheawfulspectacle，andappearedunconsciousofanyalterationsinthemoralorphysicalgovernmentoftheworld。’

Thentheshadeofthepoet，thelastoftheoptimists：

Howtheworldismadeforeachofus！……

AndeachoftheManyhelpstorecruitThelifeoftheracebyageneralplan。Thenoneofthethreeenthusiastshehadseenjustnow，theauthoroftheApologia：

`Myargumentwas……thatabsolutecertitudeastothetruthsofnaturaltheologywastheresultofanassemblageofconcurringandconvergingprobabilities……thatprobabilitieswhichdidnotreachtologicalcertaintymightcreateamentalcertitude。’

Thesecondofthem，nopolemic，murmuredquieterthings：

Whyshouldwefaint，andfeartolivealone，Sinceallalone，soHeavenhaswill’d，wedie？Helikewiseheardsomephrasesspokenbythephantomwiththeshortface，thegenialSpectator：

`WhenIlookuponthetombsofthegreat，everymotionofenvydiesinme；whenIreadtheepitaphsofthebeautiful，everyinordinatedesiregoesout；whenImeetwiththegriefofparentsuponatombstone，myheartmeltswithcompassion；whenIseethetombsoftheparentsthemselves，Iconsiderthevanityofgrievingforthosewhomwemustquicklyfollow。’

Andlastlyagentle-voicedprelatespoke，duringwhosemeek，familiarrhyme，endearedtohimfromearliestchildhood，Judefellasleep：

Teachmetolive，thatImaydreadThegraveaslittleasmybed。

Teachmetodie……Hedidnotwaketillmorning。Theghostlypastseemedtohavegone，andeverythingspokeofto-day。Hestartedupinbed，thinkinghehadoverslepthimselfandthensaid：

`ByJove-Ihadquiteforgottenmysweet-facedcousin，andthatshe’shereallthetime！……andmyoldschoolmaster，too。’Hiswordsabouthisschoolmasterhad，perhaps，lesszestinthemthanhiswordsconcerninghiscousin。

JudetheObscureChapter13II-iiNecessarymeditationsontheactual，includingthemeanbread-and-cheesequestion，dissipatedthephantasmalforawhile，andcompelledJudetosmotherhighthinkingsunderimmediateneeds。Hehadtogetup，andseekforwork，manualwork；theonlykinddeemedbymanyofitsprofessorstobeworkatall。