第10章

`Promisetoleavethebooksalone。’

Shehesitated。`Letmego！’sherepeated。

`Promise！’

Afterapause：`Ido。’

Juderelinquishedhishold，andshecrossedtheroomtothedoor，outofwhichshewentwithasetface，andintothehighway。Hereshebegantosaunterupanddown，perverselypullingherhairintoaworsedisorderthanhehadcaused，andunfasteningseveralbuttonsofhergown。ItwasafineSundaymorning，dry，clearandfrosty，andthebellsofAlfredstonChurchcouldbeheardonthebreezefromthenorth。Peopleweregoingalongtheroad，dressedintheirholidayclothes；theyweremainlylovers-suchpairsasJudeandArabellahadbeenwhentheysportedalongthesametracksomemonthsearlier。Thesepedestriansturnedtostareattheextraordinaryspectacleshenowpresented，bonnetless，herdishevelledhairblowinginthewind，herbodiceaparthersleevesrolledaboveherelbowsforherwork，andherhandsreekingwithmeltedfat。Oneofthepasserssaidinmockterror：`GoodLorddeliverus！’

`Seehowhe’sservedme！’shecried。`MakingmeworkSundaymorningswhenIoughttobegoingtomychurch，andtearingmyhairoffmyhead，andmygownoffmyback！’

Judewasexasperated，andwentouttodragherinbymainforce。

Thenhesuddenlylosthisheat。Illuminatedwiththesensethatallwasoverbetweenthem，andthatitmatterednotwhatshedid，orhe，herhusbandstoodstill，regardingher。Theirliveswereruined，hethought；ruinedbythefundamentalerroroftheirmatrimonialunion：thatofhavingbasedapermanentcontractonatemporaryfeelingwhichhadnonecessaryconnectionwithaffinitiesthatalonerenderalifelongcomradeshiptolerable。

`Goingtoill-usemeonprinciple，asyourfatherill-usedyourmother，andyourfather’ssisterill-usedherhusband？’sheasked。`Allyoubeaqueerlotashusbandsandwives！’

Judefixedanarrested，surprisedlookonher。Butshesaidnomore，andcontinuedhersauntertillshewastired。Heleftthespot，and，afterwanderingvaguelyalittlewhile，walkedinthedirectionofMarygreen。

Herehecalleduponhisgreat-aunt，whoseinfirmitiesdailyincreased。

`Aunt-didmyfatherill-usemymother，andmyauntherhusband？’

saidJudeabruptly，sittingdownbythefire。

Sheraisedherancienteyesundertherimoftheby-gonebonnetthatshealwayswore。`Who’sbeentellingyouthat？’shesaid。

`Ihavehearditspokenof，andwanttoknowall。’

`Youmedsowell，Is’pose；thoughyourwife-Ireckon’twasshe-musthavebeenafooltoopenupthat！Thereisn’tmuchtoknowafterall。Yourfatherandmothercouldn’tgetontogether，andtheyparted。

ItwascominghomefromAlfredstonmarket，whenyouwereababy-onthehillbytheBrownHousebarn-thattheyhadtheirlastdifference，andtookleaveofoneanotherforthelasttime。Yourmothersoonafterwardsdied-shedrownedherself，inshort，andyourfatherwentawaywithyoutoSouthWessex，andnevercamehereanymore。’

Juderecalledhisfather’ssilenceaboutNorthWessexandJude’smother，neverspeakingofeithertillhisdyingday。

`Itwasthesamewithyourfather’ssister。Herhusbandoffendedher，andshesodislikedlivingwithhimafterwardsthatshewentawaytoLondonwithherlittlemaid。TheFawleyswerenotmadeforwedlock：

itneverseemedtositwelluponus。There’ssommatinourbloodthatwon’ttakekindlytothenotionofbeingboundtodowhatwedoreadilyenoughifnotbound。That’swhyyououghttohavehearkenedtome，andnotha’

married。’

`WheredidFatherandMotherpart-bytheBrownHouse，didyousay？’

`Alittlefurtheron-wheretheroadtoFenworthbranchesoff，andthehandpoststands。Agibbetoncestoodtherenotonconnectedwithourhistory。Butletthatbe。’

IntheduskofthateveningJudewalkedawayfromhisoldaunt’sasiftogohome。Butassoonashereachedtheopendownhestruckoutuponittillhecametoalargeroundpond。Thefrostcontinued，thoughitwasnotparticularlysharp，andthelargerstarsoverheadcameoutslowandflickering。Judeputonefootontheedgeoftheice，andthentheother：itcrackedunderhisweight；butthisdidnotdeterhim。Heploughedhiswayinwardtothecentre，theicemakingsharpnoisesashewent。Whenjustaboutthemiddlehelookedaroundhimandgaveajump。Thecrackingrepeateditself；buthedidnotgodown。Hejumpedagain，butthecrackinghadceased。Judewentbacktotheedge，andsteppedupontheground。

Itwascurious，hethought。Whatwashereservedfor？Hesupposedhewasnotasufficientlydignifiedpersonforsuicide。Peacefuldeathabhorredhimasasubject，andwouldnottakehim。

Whatcouldhedoofalowerkindthanself-extermination；whatwastherelessnoble，moreinkeepingwithhispresentdegradedposition？

Hecouldgetdrunk。Ofcoursethatwasit；hehadforgotten。Drinkingwastheregular，stereotypedresourceofthedespairingworthless。Hebegantoseenowwhysomemenboozedatinns。Hestruckdownthehillnorthwardsandcametoanobscurepublic-house。OnenteringandsittingdownthesightofthepictureofSamsonandDelilahonthewallcausedhimtorecognizetheplaceasthathehadvisitedwithArabellaonthatfirstSundayeveningoftheircourtship。Hecalledforliquoranddrankbrisklyforanhourormore。

Staggeringhomewardlatethatnight，withallhissenseofdepressiongone，andhisheadfairlyclearstill，hebegantolaughboisterously，andtowonderhowArabellawouldreceivehiminhisnewaspect。Thehousewasindarknesswhenheentered，andinhisstumblingstateitwassometimebeforehecouldgetalight。Thenhefoundthat，thoughthemarksofpig-dressing，offatsandscallops，werevisible，thematerialsthemselveshadbeentakenaway。Alinewrittenbyhiswifeontheinsideofanoldenvelopewaspinnedtothecottonblowerofthefireplace：

`Havegonetomyfriends。Shallnotreturn。’

Allthenextdayheremainedathome，andsentoffthecarcaseofthepigtoAlfredston。Hethencleanedupthepremises，lockedthedoor，putthekeyinaplaceshewouldknowifshecameback，andreturnedtohismasonryatAlfredston。

Atnightwhenheagainploddedhomehefoundshehadnotvisitedthehouse。Thenextdaywentinthesameway，andthenext。Thentherecamealetterfromher。

Thatshehadgonetiredofhimshefranklyadmitted。Hewassuchaslowoldcoach，andshedidnotcareforthesortoflifeheled。Therewasnoprospectofhiseverbetteringhimselforher。Shefurtherwentontosaythatherparentshad，asheknew，forsometimeconsideredthequestionofemigratingtoAustralia，thepig-jobbingbusinessbeingapooronenowadays。Theyhadatlastdecidedtogo，andsheproposedtogowiththem，ifhehadnoobjection。Awomanofhersortwouldhavemorechanceovertherethaninthisstupidcountry。

Juderepliedthathehadnottheleastobjectiontohergoing。

Hethoughtitawisecourse，sinceshewishedtogo，andonethatmightbetotheadvantageofboth。Heenclosedinthepacketcontainingtheletterthemoneythathadbeenrealizedbythesaleofthepig，withallhehadbesides，whichwasnotmuch。

Fromthatdayheheardnomoreofherexceptindirectly，thoughherfatherandhishouseholddidnotimmediatelyleave，butwaitedtillhisgoodsandothereffectshadbeensoldoff。WhenJudelearntthattherewastobeanauctionatthehouseoftheDonnshepackedhisownhouseholdgoodsintoawaggon，andsentthemtoherattheaforesaidhomestead，thatshemightsellthemwiththerest，orasmanyofthemassheshouldchoose。

HethenwentintolodgingsatAlfredston，andsawinashopwindowthelittlehandbillannouncingthesaleofhisfather-in-law’sfurniture。

Henoteditsdate，whichcameandpassedwithoutJude’sgoingneartheplace，orperceivingthatthetrafficoutofAlfredstonbythesouthernroadwasmateriallyincreasedbytheauction。Afewdayslaterheenteredadingybroker’sshopinthemainstreetofthetown，andamidaheterogeneouscollectionofsaucepans，aclothes-horse，rolling-pin，brasscandlestick，swinglooking-glass，andotherthingsatthebackoftheshop，evidentlyjustbroughtinfromasale，heperceivedaframedphotograph，whichturnedouttobehisownportrait。

Itwasonewhichhehadhadspeciallytakenandframedbyalocalmaninbird’s-eyemaple，asapresentforArabella，andhaddulygivenherontheirwedding-day。Onthebackwasstilltoberead，`JudetoArabella，’withthedate。Shemusthavethrownitinwiththerestofherpropertyattheauction。

`Oh，’saidthebroker，seeinghimlookatthisandtheotherarticlesintheheap，andnotperceivingthattheportraitwasofhimself：`ItisasmalllotofstuffthatwasknockeddowntomeatacottagesaleoutontheroadtoMarygreen。Theframeisaveryusefulone，ifyoutakeoutthelikeness。Youshallhaveitforashilling。’

Theutterdeathofeverytendersentimentinhiswife，asbroughthometohimbythismuteandundesignedevidenceofhersaleofhisportraitandgift，wastheconclusivelittlestrokerequiredtodemolishallsentimentinhim。Hepaidtheshilling，tookthephotographawaywithhim，andburntit，frameandall，whenhereachedhislodging。

TwoorthreedayslaterheheardthatArabellaandherparentshaddeparted。Hehadsentamessageofferingtoseeherforaformalleave-taking，butshehadsaidthatitwouldbebetterotherwise，sinceshewasbentongoing，whichperhapswastrue。Ontheeveningfollowingtheiremigration，whenhisday’sworkwasdone，hecameoutofdoorsaftersupper，andstrolledinthestarlightalongthetoofamiliarroadtowardstheuplandwhereonhadbeenexperiencedthechiefemotionsofhislife。Itseemedtobehisownagain。

Hecouldnotrealizehimself。Ontheoldtrackheseemedtobeaboystill，hardlyadayolderthanwhenhehadstooddreamingatthetopofthathill，inwardlyfiredforthefirsttimewithardoursforChristminsterandscholarship。`YetIamaman，’hesaid。`Ihaveawife。More，Ihavearrivedatthestillriperstageofhavingdisagreedwithher，dislikedher，hadascufflewithher，andpartedfromher。’

Herememberedthenthathewasstandingnotfarfromthespotatwhichthepartingbetweenhisfatherandhismotherwassaidtohaveoccurred。

AlittlefurtheronwasthesummitwhenceChristminster，orwhathehadtakenforthatcity，hadseemedtobevisible。Amilestone，nowasalways，stoodattheroadsidehardby。Judedrewnearit，andfeltratherthanreadthemileagetothecity。Herememberedthatonceonhiswayhomehehadproudlycutwithhiskeennewchiselaninscriptiononthebackofthatmilestone，embodyinghisaspirations。Ithadbeendoneinthefirstweekofhisapprenticeship，beforehehadbeendivertedfromhispurposesbyanunsuitablewoman。Hewonderediftheinscriptionwerelegiblestill，andgoingtothebackofthemilestonebrushedawaythenettles。Bythelightofamatchhecouldstilldiscernwhathehadcutsoenthusiasticallysolongago：

THITHERJ。F。Thesightofit，unimpaired，withinitsscreenofgrassandnettles，litinhissoulasparkoftheoldfire。Surelyhisplanshouldbetomoveonwardthroughgoodandill-toavoidmorbidsorroweventhoughhedidseeuglinessesintheworld？Beneagereetlaetari-todogoodcheerfully-whichhehadheardtobethephilosophyofoneSpinoza，mightbehisownevennow。

Hemightbattlewithhisevilstar，andfollowouthisoriginalintention。

Bymovingtoaspotalittlewayoffheuncoveredthehorizoninanorth-easterlydirection。Thereactuallyrosethefainthalo，asmalldimnebulousness，hardlyrecognizablesavebytheeyeoffaith。Itwasenoughforhim。HewouldgotoChristminsterassoonasthetermofhisapprenticeshipexpired。

Hereturnedtohislodgingsinabettermood，andsaidhisprayers。

JudetheObscureChapter12PartSecondAtChristminster`Savehisownsoulhehathnostar。’-Swinburne。`Notitiamprimosquegradusviciniafecit；Temporecrevitamor。’-Ovid。II-iThenextnoteworthymoveinJude’slifewasthatinwhichheappearedglidingsteadilyonwardthroughaduskylandscapeofsomethreeyears’laterleafagethanhadgracedhiscourtshipofArabella，andthedisruptionofhiscoarseconjugallifewithher。HewaswalkingtowardsChristminsterCity，atapointamileortwotothesouth-westofit。

HehadatlastfoundhimselfclearofMarygreenandAlfredston：

hewasoutofhisapprenticeship，andwithhistoolsathisbackseemedtobeinthewayofmakinganewstart-thestarttowhich，barringtheinterruptioninvolvedinhisintimacyandmarriedexperiencewithArabella，hehadbeenlookingforwardforabouttenyears。