第12章

Passingoutintothestreetsonthiserrandhefoundthatthecollegeshadtreacherouslychangedtheirsympatheticcountenances：somewerepompous；somehadputonthelookoffamilyvaultsaboveground；somethingbarbaricloomedinthemasonriesofall。Thespiritsofthegreatmenhaddisappeared。

Thenumberlessarchitecturalpagesaroundhimheread，naturally，lessasanartist-criticoftheirformsthanasanartizanandcomradeofthedeadhandicraftsmenwhosemuscleshadactuallyexecutedthoseforms。

Heexaminedthemouldings，strokedthemasonewhoknewtheirbeginning，saidtheyweredifficultoreasyintheworking，hadtakenlittleormuchtime，weretryingtothearm，orconvenienttothetool。

Whatatnighthadbeenperfectandidealwasbydaythemoreorlessdefectivereal。Cruelties，insults，had，heperceived，beeninflictedontheagederections。Theconditionofseveralmovedhimashewouldhavebeenmovedbymaimedsentientbeings。Theywerewounded，broken，sloughingofftheiroutershapeinthedeadlystruggleagainstyears，weather，andman。

Therottennessofthesehistoricaldocumentsremindedhimthathewasnot，afterall，hasteningontobeginthemorningpracticallyashehadintended。Hehadcometowork，andtolivebywork，andthemorninghadnearlygone。Itwas，inonesense，encouragingtothinkthatinaplaceofcrumblingstonestheremustbeplentyforoneofhistradetodointhebusinessofrenovation。Heaskedhiswaytotheworkyardofthestone-masonwhosenamehadbeengivenhimatAlfredston；andsoonheardthefamiliarsoundoftherubbersandchisels。

Theyardwasalittlecentreofregeneration。Here，withkeenedgesandsmoothcurves，wereformsintheexactlikenessofthosehehadseenabradedandtime-eatenonthewalls。Theseweretheideasinmodernprosewhichthelichenedcollegespresentedinoldpoetry。Evensomeofthoseantiquesmighthavebeencalledprosewhentheywerenew。Theyhaddonenothingbutwait，andhadbecomepoetical。Howeasytothesmallestbuilding；howimpossibletomostmen。

Heaskedfortheforeman，andlookedroundamongthenewtraceries，mullions，transoms，shafts，pinnacles，andbattlementsstandingonthebankershalfworked，orwaitingtoberemoved。Theyweremarkedbyprecision，mathematicalstraightness，smoothness，exactitude：thereintheoldwallswerethebrokenlinesoftheoriginalidea；jaggedcurves，disdainofprecision，irregularity，disarray。

ForamomenttherefellonJudeatrueillumination；thathereinthestoneyardwasacentreofeffortasworthyasthatdignifiedbythenameofscholarlystudywithinthenoblestofthecolleges。Buthelostitunderstressofhisoldidea。Hewouldacceptanyemploymentwhichmightbeofferedhimonthestrengthofhislateemployer’srecommendation；

buthewouldacceptitasaprovisionalthingonly。Thiswashisformofthemodernviceofunrest。

Moreoverheperceivedthatatbestonlycopying，patchingandimitatingwentonhere；whichhefanciedtobeowingtosometemporaryandlocalcause。Hedidnotatthattimeseethatmediaevalismwasasdeadasafern-leafinalumpofcoal；thatotherdevelopmentswereshapingintheworldaroundhim，inwhichGothicarchitectureanditsassociationshadnoplace。Thedeadlyanimosityofcontemporarylogicandvisiontowardssomuchofwhatheheldinreverencewasnotyetrevealedtohim。

Havingfailedtoobtainworkhereasyethewentaway，andthoughtagainofhiscousin，whosepresencesomewhereathandheseemedtofeelinwaveletsofinterest，ifnotofemotion。Howhewishedhehadthatprettyportraitofher！Atlasthewrotetohisaunttosendit。Shedidso，witharequest，however，thathewasnottobringdisturbanceintothefamilybygoingtoseethegirlorherrelations。Jude，aridiculouslyaffectionatefellow，promisednothing，putthephotographonthemantel-piece，kissedit-hedidnotknowwhy-andfeltmoreathome。Sheseemedtolookdownandpresideoverhistea。Itwascheering-theonethingunitinghimtotheemotionsofthelivingcity。

Thereremainedtheschoolmaster-probablynowareverendparson。

Buthecouldnotpossiblyhuntupsucharespectablemanjustyet；sorawandunpolishedwashiscondition，soprecariouswerehisfortunes。Thushestillremainedinloneliness。Althoughpeoplemovedroundhimhevirtuallysawnone。Notasyethavingmingledwiththeactivelifeoftheplaceitwaslargelynon-existenttohim。Butthesaintsandprophetsinthewindow-tracery，thepaintingsinthegalleries，thestatues，thebusts，thegargoyles，thecorbel-heads-theseseemedtobreathehisatmosphere。Likeallnewcomerstoaspotonwhichthepastisdeeplygravenheheardthatpastannouncingitselfwithanemphasisaltogetherunsuspectedby，andevenincredibleto，thehabitualresidents。

Formanydayshehauntedthecloistersandquadranglesofthecollegesatoddminutesinpassingthem，surprisedbyimpishechoesofhisownfootsteps，smartastheblowsofamallet。TheChristminster`sentiment，’

asithadbeencalled，atefurtherandfurtherintohim；tillheprobablyknewmoreaboutthosebuildingsmaterially，artistically，andhistorically，thananyoneoftheirinmates。

Itwasnottillnow，whenhefoundhimselfactuallyonthespotofhisenthusiasm，thatJudeperceivedhowfarawayfromtheobjectofthatenthusiasmhereallywas。Onlyawalldividedhimfromthosehappyyoungcontemporariesofhiswithwhomhesharedacommonmentallife；menwhohadnothingtodofrommorningtillnightbuttoread，mark，learn，andinwardlydigest。Onlyawall-butwhatawall！

Everyday，everyhour，ashewentinsearchoflabour，hesawthemgoingandcomingalso，rubbedshoulderswiththem，heardtheirvoices，markedtheirmovements。Theconversationofsomeofthemorethoughtfulamongthemseemedoftentimes，owingtohislongandpersistentpreparationforthisplace，tobepeculiarlyakintohisownthoughts。Yethewasasfarfromthemasifhehadbeenattheantipodes。Ofcoursehewas。Hewasayoungworkmaninawhiteblouse，andwithstone-dustinthecreasesofhisclothes；andinpassinghimtheydidnotevenseehim，orhearhim，rathersawthroughhimasthroughapaneofglassattheirfamiliarsbeyond。

Whatevertheyweretohim，hetothemwasnotonthespotatall；andyethehadfanciedhewouldbeclosetotheirlivesbycomingthere。

Butthefuturelayaheadafterall；andifhecouldonlybesofortunateastogetintogoodemploymenthewouldputupwiththeinevitable。

SohethankedGodforhishealthandstrength，andtookcourage。Forthepresenthewasoutsidethegatesofeverything，collegesincluded：perhapssomedayhewouldbeinside。Thosepalacesoflightandleading；hemightsomedaylookdownontheworldthroughtheirpanes。

Atlengthhedidreceiveamessagefromthestone-mason’syard-thatajobwaswaitingforhim。Itwashisfirstencouragement，andheclosedwiththeofferpromptly。

Hewasyoungandstrong，orhenevercouldhaveexecutedwithsuchzesttheundertakingstowhichhenowappliedhimself，sincetheyinvolvedreadingmostofthenightafterworkingalltheday。Firstheboughtashadedlampforfourandsix-pence，andobtainedagoodlight。

Thenhegotpens，paper，andsuchothernecessarybooksashehadbeenunabletoobtainelsewhere。Then，totheconsternationofhislandlady，heshiftedallthefurnitureofhisroom-asingleoneforlivingandsleeping-riggedupacurtainonaropeacrossthemiddle，tomakeadoublechamberoutofone，hungupathickblindthatno-bodyshouldknowhowhewascurtailingthehoursofsleep，laidouthisbooks，andsatdown。

Havingbeendeeplyencumberedbymarrying，gettingacottage，andbuyingthefurniturewhichhaddisappearedinthewakeofhiswife，hehadneverbeenabletosaveanymoneysincethetimeofthosedisastrousventures，andtillhiswagesbegantocomeinhewasobligedtoliveinthenarrowestway。Afterbuyingabookortwohecouldnotevenaffordhimselfafire；andwhenthenightsreekedwiththerawandcoldairfromtheMeadowshesatoverhislampinagreat-coat，hat，andwoollengloves。

Fromhiswindowhecouldperceivethespireofthecathedral，andtheogeedomeunderwhichresoundedthegreatbellofthecity。Thetalltower，tallbelfrywindows，andtallpinnaclesofthecollegebythebridgehecouldalsogetaglimpseofbygoingtothestaircase。Theseobjectsheusedasstimulantswhenhisfaithinthefuturewasdim。

Likeenthusiastsingeneralhemadenoinquiriesintodetailsofprocedure。Pickingupgeneralnotionsfromcasualacquaintance，heneverdweltuponthem。Forthepresent，hesaidtohimself，theonethingnecessarywastogetreadybyaccumulatingmoneyandknowledge，andawaitwhateverchanceswereaffordedtosuchanoneofbecomingasonoftheUniversity。

`Forwisdomisadefence，andmoneyisadefence；buttheexcellencyofknowledgeis，thatwisdomgivethlifetothemthathaveit。’Hisdesireabsorbedhim，andleftnopartofhimtoweighitspracticability。

Atthistimehereceivedanervouslyanxiousletterfromhispooroldaunt，onthesubjectwhichhadpreviouslydistressedher-afearthatJudewouldnotbestrong-mindedenoughtokeepawayfromhiscousinSueBrideheadandherrelations。Sue’sfather，hisauntbelieved，hadgonebacktoLondon，butthegirlremainedatChristminster。Tomakeherstillmoreobjectionableshewasanartistordesignerofsomesortinwhatwascalledanecclesiasticalwarehouse，whichwasaperfectseed-bedofidolatry，andshewasnodoubtabandonedtomummeriesonthataccount-ifnotquiteaPapist。(MissDrusillaFawleywasofherdate，Evangelical。)

AsJudewasratheronanintellectualtrackthanatheological，thisnewsofSue’sprobableopinionsdidnotmuchinfluencehimonewayortheother，butthecluetoherwhereaboutswasdecidedlyinteresting。

Withanaltogethersingularpleasurehewalkedathisearliestspareminutespasttheshopsansweringtohisgreat-aunt’sdescription；andbeheldinoneofthemayounggirlsittingbehindadesk，whowassuspiciouslyliketheoriginaloftheportrait。Heventuredtoenteronatrivialerrand，andhavingmadehispurchaselingeredonthescene。Theshopseemedtobekeptentirelybywomen。ItcontainedAnglicanbooks，stationery，texts，andfancygoods：littleplasterangelsonbrackets，Gothic-framedpicturesofsaints，ebonycrossesthatwerealmostcrucifixes，prayer-booksthatwerealmostmissals。Hefeltveryshyoflookingatthegirlinthedesk；

shewassoprettythathecouldnotbelieveitpossiblethatsheshouldbelongtohim。Thenshespoketooneofthetwoolderwomenbehindthecounter；andherecognizedintheaccentscertainqualitiesofhisownvoice；softenedandsweetened，buthisown。Whatwasshedoing？Hestoleaglanceround。Beforeherlayapieceofzinc，cuttotheshapeofascrollthreeorfourfeetlong，andcoatedwithadead-surfacepaintononeside。

Hereonshewasdesigningorilluminating，incharactersofChurchtext，thesinglewordALLELUJH`Asweet，saintly，Christianbusiness，hers！’thoughthe。

Herpresenceherewasnowfairlyenoughexplained，herskillinworkofthissorthavingnodoubtbeenacquiredfromherfather’soccupationasanecclesiasticalworkerinmetal。Theletteringonwhichshewasengagedwasclearlyintendedtobefixedupinsomechanceltoassistdevotion。

Hecameout。Itwouldhavebeeneasytospeaktoherthereandthen，butitseemedscarcelyhonourabletowardshisaunttodisregardherrequestsoincontinently。Shehadusedhimroughly，butshehadbroughthimup：andthefactofherbeingpowerlesstocontrolhimlentapatheticforcetoawishthatwouldhavebeeninoperativeasanargument。

SoJudegavenosign。HewouldnotcalluponSuejustyet。Hehadotherreasonsagainstdoingsowhenhehadwalkedaway。Sheseemedsodaintybesidehimselfinhisroughworking-jacketanddustytrousersthathefelthewasasyetunreadytoencounterher，ashehadfeltaboutMr。Phillotson。Andhowpossibleitwasthatshehadinheritedtheantipathiesofherfamily，andwouldscornhim，asfarasaChristiancould，particularlywhenhehadtoldherthatunpleasantpartofhishistorywhichhadresultedinhisbecomingenchainedtooneofherownsexwhomshewouldcertainlynotadmire。

Thushekeptwatchoverher，andlikedtofeelshewasthere。

Theconsciousnessofherlivingpresencestimulatedhim。Butsheremainedmoreorlessanidealcharacter，aboutwhoseformhebegantoweavecuriousandfantasticday-dreams。