第13章

BetweentwoandthreeweeksafterwardsJudewasengagedwithsomemoremen，outsideCrozierCollegeinOld-timeStreet，ingettingablockofworkedfreestonefromawaggonacrossthepavement，beforehoistingittotheparapetwhichtheywererepairing。Standinginpositiontheheadmansaid，`Spaikwhenheheave！He-ho！’Andtheyheaved。

Allofasudden，ashelifted，hiscousinstoodclosetohiselbow，pausingamomentonthebendofherfoottilltheobstructingobjectshouldhavebeenremoved。Shelookedrightintohisfacewithliquid，untranslatableeyes，thatcombined，orseemedtohimtocombine，keennesswithtenderness，andmysterywithboth，theirexpression，aswellasthatofherlips，takingitslifefromsomewordsjustspokentoacompanion，andbeingcarriedonintohisfacequiteunconsciously。Shenomoreobservedhispresencethanthatofthedust-moteswhichhismanipulationsraisedintothesunbeams。

Hisclosenesstoherwassosuggestivethathetrembled，andturnedhisfaceawaywithashyinstincttopreventherrecognizinghim，thoughasshehadneveronceseenhimshecouldnotpossiblydoso；andmightverywellneverhaveheardevenhisname。Hecouldperceivethatthoughshewasacountry-girlatbottom，alattergirlhoodofsomeyearsinLondon，andawomanhoodhere，hadtakenallrawnessoutofher。

Whenshewasgonehecontinuedhiswork，reflectingonher。Hehadbeensocaughtbyherinfluencethathehadtakennocountofhergeneralmouldandbuild。Herememberednowthatshewasnotalargefigure，thatshewaslightandslight，ofthetypedubbedelegant。Thatwasaboutallhehadseen。Therewasnothingstatuesqueinher；allwasnervousmotion。

Shewasmobile，living，yetapaintermightnothavecalledherhandsomeorbeautiful。Butthemuchthatshewassurprisedhim。Shewasquitealongwayremovedfromtherusticitythatwashis。Howcouldoneofhiscross-grained，unfortunate，almostaccursedstock，havecontrivedtoreachthispitchofniceness？Londonhaddoneit，hesupposed。

Fromthismomenttheemotionwhichhadbeenaccumulatinginhisbreastasthebottled-upeffectofsolitudeandthepoetizedlocalityhedweltin，insensiblybegantoprecipitateitselfonthishalf-visionaryform；andheperceivedthat，whateverhisobedientwishinacontrarydirection，hewouldsoonbeunabletoresistthedesiretomakehimselfknowntoher。

Heaffectedtothinkofherquiteinafamilyway，sincetherewerecrushingreasonswhyheshouldnotandcouldnotthinkofherinanyother。

Thefirstreasonwasthathewasmarried，anditwouldbewrong。

Thesecondwasthattheywerecousins。Itwasnotwellforcousinstofallinloveevenwhencircumstancesseemedtofavourthepassion。Thethird：

evenwerehefree，inafamilylikehisownwheremarriageusuallymeantatragicsadness，marriagewithablood-relationwouldduplicatetheadverseconditions，andatragicsadnessmightbeintensifiedtoatragichorror。

Therefore，again，hewouldhavetothinkofSuewithonlyarelation’smutualinterestinonebelongingtohim；regardherinapracticalwayassomeonetobeproudof；totalkandnodto；lateron，tobeinvitedtoteaby，theemotionspentonherbeingrigorouslythatofakinsmanandwell-wisher。Sowouldshebetohimakindlystar，anelevatingpower，acompanioninAnglicanworship，atenderfriendJudetheObscureChapter14II-iiiButunderthevariousdeterrentinfluencesJude’sinstinctwastoapproachhertimidly，andthenextSundayhewenttothemorningserviceintheCathedralchurchofCardinalCollegetogainafurtherviewofher，forhehadfoundthatshefrequentlyattendedthere。

Shedidnotcome，andheawaitedherintheafternoon，whichwasfiner。Heknewthatifshecameatallshewouldapproachthebuildingalongtheeasternsideofthegreatgreenquadranglefromwhichitwasaccessible，andhestoodinacornerwhilethebellwasgoing。Afewminutesbeforethehourforservicesheappearedasoneofthefigureswalkingalongunderthecollegewalls，andatsightofherheadvancedupthesideopposite，andfollowedherintothebuilding，morethanevergladthathehadnotasyetrevealedhimself。Toseeher，andtobehimselfunseenandunknown，wasenoughforhimatpresent。

Helingeredawhileinthevestibule，andtheservicewassomewayadvancedwhenhewasputintoaseat。Itwasalouring，mournful，stillafternoon，whenareligionofsomesortseemsanecessitytoordinarypracticalmen，andnotonlyaluxuryoftheemotionalandleisuredclasses。Inthedimlightandthebafflingglareoftheclerestorywindowshecoulddiscerntheoppositeworshippersindistinctlyonly，buthesawthatSuewasamongthem。Hehadnotlongdiscoveredtheexactseatthatsheoccupiedwhenthechantingofthe119thPsalminwhichthechoirwasengagedreacheditssecondpart，Inquocorriget，theorganchangingtoapatheticGregoriantuneasthesingersgaveforth：

Wherewithalshallayoungmancleansehisway？ItwastheveryquestionthatwasengagingJude’sattentionatthismoment。

Whatawickedworthlessfellowhehadbeentogiveventashehaddonetoananimalpassionforawoman，andallowittoleadtosuchdisastrousconsequences；thentothinkofputtinganendtohimself；thentogorecklesslyandgetdrunk。Thegreatwavesofpedalmusictumbledroundthechoir，and，nursedonthesupernaturalashehadbeen，itisnotwonderfulthathecouldhardlybelievethatthepsalmwasnotspeciallysetbysomeregardfulProvidenceforthismomentofhisfirstentryintothesolemnbuilding。

Andyetitwastheordinarypsalmforthetwenty-fourtheveningofthemonth。

Thegirlforwhomhewasbeginningtonourishanextraordinarytendernesswasatthistimeenspheredbythesameharmoniesasthosewhichfloatedintohisears；andthethoughtwasadelighttohim。Shewasprobablyafrequenterofthisplace，and，steepedbodyandsoulinchurchsentimentasshemustbebyoccupationandhabit，had，nodoubt，muchincommonwithhim。Toanimpressionableandlonelyyoungmantheconsciousnessofhavingatlastfoundanchorageforhisthoughts，whichpromisedtosupplybothsocialandspiritualpossibilities，waslikethedewofHermon，andheremainedthroughouttheserviceinasustainingatmosphereofecstasy。

Thoughhewaslothtosuspectit，somepeoplemighthavesaidtohimthattheatmosphereblewasdistinctlyfromCyprusasfromGalilee。

Judewaitedtillshehadleftherseatandpassedunderthescreenbeforehehimselfmoved。Shedidnotlooktowardshim，andbythetimehereachedthedoorshewashalf-waydownthebroadpath。BeingdressedupinhisSundaysuithewasinclinedtofollowherandrevealhimself。

Buthewasnotquiteready；and，alas，oughthetodosowiththekindoffeelingthatwasawakeninginhim？

Forthoughithadseemedtohaveanecclesiasticalbasisduringtheservice，andhehadpersuadedhimselfthatsuchwasthecase，hecouldnotaltogetherbeblindtotherealnatureofthemagnetism。Shewassuchastrangerthatthekinshipwasaffectation，andhesaid，`Itcan’tbe！

I，amanwithawife，mustnotknowher！’StillSuewashisownkin，andthefactofhishavingawife，eventhoughshewasnotinevidenceinthishemisphere，mightbeahelpinonesense。ItwouldputallthoughtofatenderwishonhispartoutofSue’smind，andmakeherintercoursewithhimfreeandfearless。Itwaswithsomeheartachethathesawhowlittlehecaredforthefreedomandfearlessnessthatwouldresultinherfromsuchknowledge。

Somelittletimebeforethedateofthisserviceinthecathedralthepretty，liquid-eyed，light-footedyoungwomanSueBrideheadhadanafternoon’sholiday，andleavingtheecclesiasticalestablishmentinwhichshenotonlyassistedbutlodged，tookawalkintothecountrywithabookinherhand。ItwasoneofthosecloudlessdayswhichsometimesoccurinWessexandelsewherebetweendaysofcoldandwet，asifintercalatedbycapriceoftheweather-god。Shewentalongforamileortwountilshecametomuchhighergroundthanthatofthecityshehadleftbehindher。

Theroadpassedbetweengreenfields，andcomingtoastileSuepausedthere，tofinishthepageshewasreading，andthenlookedbackatthetowersanddomesandpinnaclesnewandold。

Ontheothersideofthestile，inthefootpath，shebeheldaforeignerwithblackhairandasallowface，sittingonthegrassbesidealargesquareboardwhereonwerefixed，ascloselyastheycouldstand，anumberofplasterstatuettes，someofthembronzed，whichhewasre-arrangingbeforeproceedingwiththemonhisway。Theywereinthemainreducedcopiesofancientmarbles，andcompriseddivinitiesofaverydifferentcharacterfromthosethegirlwasaccustomedtoseeportrayed，amongthembeingaVenusofstandardpattern，aDiana，and，oftheothersex，Apollo，Bacchus，andMars。Thoughthefiguresweremanyyardsawayfromherthesouth-westsunbroughtthemoutsobrilliantlyagainstthegreenherbagethatshecoulddiscerntheircontourswithluminousdistinctness；andbeingalmostinalinebetweenherselfandthechurchtowersofthecitytheyawokeinheranoddlyforeignandcontrastingsetofideasbycomparison。Themanrose，and，seeingher，politelytookoffhiscap，andcried`I-i-i-mages！’

inanaccentthatagreedwithhisappearance。Inamomenthedexterouslylifteduponhiskneethegreatboardwithitsassemblednotabilitiesdivineandhuman，andraisedittothetopofhishead，bringingthemontoherandrestingtheboardonthestile。Firstheofferedherhissmallerwares-thebustsofkingsandqueens，thenaminstrel，thenawingedCupid。

Sheshookherhead。

`Howmucharethesetwo？’shesaid，touchingwithherfingertheVenusandtheApollo-thelargestfiguresonthetray。

Hesaidsheshouldhavethemfortenshillings。

`Icannotaffordthat，’saidSue。Sheofferedconsiderablyless，andtohersurprisetheimage-mandrewthemfromtheirwirestayandhandedthemoverthestile。Sheclaspedthemastreasures。

Whentheywerepaidfor，andthemanhadgone，shebegantobeconcernedastowhatsheshoulddowiththem。Theyseemedsoverylargenowthattheywereinherpossession，andsoverynaked。Beingofanervoustemperamentshetrembledatherenterprise。Whenshehandledthemthewhitepipeclaycameoffonherglovesandjacket。Aftercarryingthemalongalittlewayopenlyanideacametoher，and，pullingsomehugeburdockleaves，parsley，andotherrankgrowthsfromthehedge，shewrappedupherburdenaswellasshecouldinthese，sothatwhatshecarriedappearedtobeanenormousarmfulofgreenstuffgatheredbyazealousloverofnature。

`Well，anythingisbetterthanthoseeverlastingchurchfallals！’

shesaid。Butshewasstillinatremblingstate，andseemedalmosttowishshehadnotboughtthefigures。

OccasionallypeepinginsidetheleavestoseethatVenus’sarmwasnotbroken，sheenteredwithherheathenloadintothemostChristiancityinthecountrybyanobscurestreetrunningparalleltothemainone，androundacornertothesidedooroftheestablishmenttowhichshewasattached。Herpurchasesweretakenstraightuptoherownchamber，andsheatonceattemptedtolocktheminaboxthatwasherveryownproperty；

butfindingthemtoocumbersomeshewrappedtheminlargesheetsofbrownpaper，andstoodthemonthefloorinacorner。

Themistressofthehouse，MissFontover，wasanelderlyladyinspectacles，dressedalmostlikeanabbess；adabatRitual，asbecomeoneofherbusiness，andaworshipperattheceremonialchurchofSt。Silas，inthesuburbofBeershebabefore-mentioned，whichJudealsohadbeguntoattend。Shewasthedaughterofaclergymaninreducedcircumstances，andathisdeath，whichhadoccurredseveralyearsbeforethisdate，sheboldlyavoidedpenurybytakingoveralittleshopofchurchrequisitesanddevelopingittoitspresentcreditableproportions。Sheworeacrossandbeadsroundherneckasheronlyornament，andknewtheChristianYearbyheart。

ShenowcametocallSuetotea，and，findingthatthegirldidnotrespondforamoment，enteredtheroomjustastheotherwashastilyputtingastringroundeachparcel。

`Somethingyouhavebeenbuying，MissBridehead？’sheasked，regardingtheenwrappedobjects。

`Yes-justsomethingtoornamentmyroom，’saidSue。

`Well，IshouldhavethoughtIhadputenoughherealready，’saidMissFontover，lookingroundattheGothic-framedprintsofsaints，theChurch-textscrolls，andotherarticleswhich，havingbecometoostaletosell，hadbeenusedtofurnishthisobscurechamber。`Whatisit？Howbulky！’Shetorealittlehole，aboutasbigasawafer，inthebrownpaper，andtriedtopeepin。`Why，statuary？Twofigures？Wheredidyougetthem？’

`Oh-Iboughtthemofatravellingmanwhosellscasts’

`Twosaints？’

`Yes。’

`Whatones？’