第23章

Afterthelapseofafewdayshefoundhimselfhopingthatshewouldwriteagain。Buthereceivednofurthercommunication；andintheintensityofhissolicitudehesentanothernote，suggestingthatheshouldpayheravisitsomeSunday，thedistancebeingundereighteenmiles。

Heexpectedareplyonthesecondmorningafterdespatchinghismissive；butnonecame。Thethirdmorningarrived；thepostmandidnotstop。ThiswasSaturday，andinafeverishstateofanxietyaboutherhesentoffthreebrieflinesstatingthathewascomingthefollowingday，forhefeltsuresomethinghadhappened。

Hisfirstandnaturalthoughthadbeenthatshewasillfromherimmersion；butitsoonoccurredtohimthatsomebodywouldhavewrittenforherinsuchacase。Conjectureswereputanendtobyhisarrivalatthevillageschool-housenearShastononthebrightmorningofSunday，betweenelevenandtwelveo’clock，whentheparishwasasvacantasadesert，mostoftheinhabitantshavinggatheredinsidethechurch，whencetheirvoicescouldoccasionallybeheardinunison。

Alittlegirlopenedthedoor。`MissBrideheadisup-stairs，’

shesaid。`Andwillyoupleasewalkuptoher？’

`Issheill？’askedJudehastily。

`Onlyalittle-notvery。’

Judeenteredandascended。Onreachingthelandingavoicetoldhimwhichwaytoturn-thevoiceofSuecallinghisname。Hepassedthedoorway，andfoundherlyinginalittlebedinaroomadozenfeetsquare。

`Oh，Sue！’hecried，sittingdownbesideherandtakingherhand。

`Howisthis！Youcouldn’twrite？’

`No-itwasn’tthat！’sheanswered。`Ididcatchabadcold-

butIcouldhavewritten。OnlyIwouldn’t！’

`Whynot？-frighteningmelikethis！’

`Yes-thatwaswhatIwasafraidof！ButIhaddecidednottowritetoyouanymore。Theywon’thavemebackattheschool-that’swhyIcouldn’twrite。Notthefact，butthereason！’

`Well？’

`Theynotonlywon’thaveme，buttheygavemeapartingpieceofadvice——’

`What？’

Shedidnotanswerdirectly。`IvowedIneverwouldtellyou，Jude-itissovulgaranddistressing！’

`Isitaboutus？’

`Yes。’

`Butdotellme！’

`Well-somebodyhassentthembaselessreportsaboutus，andtheysayyouandIoughttomarryassoonaspossible，forthesakeofmyreputation！……There-nowIhavetoldyou，andIwishIhadn’t！’

`Oh，poorSue！’

`Idon’tthinkofyoulikethatmeans！ItdidjustoccurtometoregardyouinthewaytheythinkIdo，butIhadn’tbegunto。

Ihaverecognizedthatthecousinshipwasmerelynominal，sincewemetastotalstrangers。Butmymarryingyou，dearJude-why，ofcourse，ifIhadreckoneduponmarryingyoulshouldn’thavecometoyousooften！

AndIneversupposedyouthoughtofsuchathingasmarryingmetilltheotherevening；whenIbegantofancyyoudidlovemealittle。PerhapsIoughtnottohavebeensointimatewithyou。Itisallmyfault。Everythingismyfaultalways！’

Thespeechseemedalittleforcedandunreal，andtheyregardedeachotherwithamutualdistress。

`Iwassoblindatfirst！’shewenton。`Ididn’tseewhatyoufeltatall。Oh，youhavebeenunkindtome-youhave-tolookuponmeasasweetheartwithoutsayingaword，andleavingmetodiscoveritmyself！

Yourattitudetomehasbecomeknown；andnaturallytheythinkwe’vebeendoingwrong！I’llnevertrustyouagain！’

`Yes，Sue，’hesaidsimply；`Iamtoblame-morethanyouthink。

IwasquiteawarethatyoudidnotsuspecttillwithinthelastmeetingortwowhatIwasfeelingaboutyou。Iadmitthatourmeetingasstrangerspreventedasenseofrelationship，andthatitwasasortofsubterfugetoavailmyselfofit。Butdon’tyouthinkldeservealittleconsiderationforconcealingmywrong，verywrong，sentiments，sinceIcouldn’thelphavingthem？’

Sheturnedhereyesdoubtfullytowardshim，andthenlookedawayasifafraidshemightforgivehim。

Byeverylawofnatureandsexakisswastheonlyrejoinderthatfittedthemoodandthemoment，underthesuasionofwhichSue’sundemonstrativeregardofhimmightnotinconceivablyhavechangeditstemperature。Somemenwouldhavecastscruplestothewinds，andventuredit，obliviousbothofSue’sdeclarationofherneutralfeelings，andofthe