第4章

Judethendroppedbehind，waitedafewminutestorecoverbreath，andwenthomewithaconsciousnessofhavingstruckablowforChristminster。

Throughtheinterveningfortnightheranaboutandsmiledoutwardlyathisinwardthoughts，asiftheywerepeoplemeetingandnoddingtohim-smiledwiththatsingularlybeautifulirradiationwhichisseentospreadonyoungfacesattheinceptionofsomegloriousidea，asifasupernaturallampwereheldinsidetheirtransparentnatures，givingrisetotheflatteringfancythatheavenliesaboutthemthen。

Hehonestlyperformedhispromisetothemanofmanycures，inwhomhenowsincerelybelieved，walkingmileshitherandthitheramongthesurroundinghamletsasthePhysician’sagentinadvance。Ontheeveningappointedhestoodmotionlessontheplateau，attheplacewherehehadpartedfromVilbert，andthereawaitedhisapproach。Theroad-physicianwasfairlyuptotime；but，tothesurpriseofJudeonstrikingintohispace，whichthepedestriandidnotdiminishbyasingleunitofforce，thelatterseemedhardlytorecognizehisyoungcompanion，thoughwiththelapseofthefortnighttheeveningshadgrownlight。Judethoughtitmightperhapsbeowingtohiswearinganotherhat，andhesalutedthephysicianwithdignity。

`Well，myboy？’saidthelatterabstractedly。

`I’vecome，’saidJude。

`You？whoareyou？Ohyes-tobesure！Gotanyorders，lad？’

`Yes。’AndJudetoldhimthenamesandaddressesofthecottagerswhowerewillingtotestthevirtuesoftheworld-renownedpillsandsalve。

Thequackmentallyregisteredthesewithgreatcare。

`AndtheLatinandGreekgrammars？’Jude’svoicetrembledwithanxiety。

`Whataboutthem？’

`Youweretobringmeyours，thatyouusedbeforeyoutookyourdegree。’

`Ah，yes，yes！Forgotallaboutit-all！Somanylivesdependingonmyattention，yousee，myman，thatIcan’tgivesomuchthoughtasIwouldliketootherthings。’

Judecontrolledhimselfsufficientlylongtomakesureofthetruth；andherepeated，inavoiceofdrymisery，`Youhaven’tbrought’em！’

`No。Butyoumustgetmesomemoreordersfromsickpeople，andI’llbringthegrammarsnexttime。’

Judedroppedbehind。Hewasanunsophisticatedboy，butthegiftofsuddeninsightwhichissometimesvouchsafedtochildrenshowedhimallatoncewhatshoddyhumanitythequackwasmadeof。Therewastobenointellectuallightfromthissource。Theleavesdroppedfromhisimaginarycrownoflaurel；heturnedtoagate，leantagainstit，andcriedbitterly。

Thedisappointmentwasfollowedbyanintervalofblankness。Hemight，perhaps，haveobtainedgrammarsfromAlfredston，buttodothatrequiredmoney，andaknowledgeofwhatbookstoorder；andthoughphysicallycomfortable，hewasinsuchabsolutedependenceastobewithoutafarthingofhisown。

AtthisdateMr。Phillotsonsentforhispianoforte，anditgaveJudealead。Whyshouldhenotwritetotheschoolmaster，andaskhimtobesokindastogethimthegrammarsinChristminster？Hemightslipaletterinsidethecaseoftheinstrument，anditwouldbesuretoreachthedesiredeyes。Whynotaskhimtosendanyoldsecond-handcopies，whichwouldhavethecharmofbeingmellowedbytheuniversityatmosphere？

Totellhisauntofhisintentionwouldbetodefeatit。Itwasnecessarytoactalone。

Afterafurtherconsiderationofafewdayshedidact，andonthedayofthepiano’sdeparture，whichhappenedtobehisnextbirthday，clandestinelyplacedtheletterinsidethepacking-case，directedtohismuch-admiredfriend，beingafraidtorevealtheoperationtohisauntDrusilla，lestsheshoulddiscoverhismotive，andcompelhimtoabandonhisscheme。

Thepianowasdespatched，andJudewaiteddaysandweeks，callingeverymorningatthecottagepostofficebeforehisgreat-auntwasstirring。

Atlastapacketdidindeedarriveatthevillage，andhesawfromtheendsofitthatitcontainedtwothinbooks。Hetookitawayintoalonelyplace，andsatdownonafelledelmtoopenit。

EversincehisfirstecstasyorvisionofChristminsteranditspossibilities，Judehadmeditatedmuchandcuriouslyontheprobablesortofprocessthatwasinvolvedinturningtheexpressionsofonelanguageintothoseofanother。Heconcludedthatagrammaroftherequiredtonguewouldcontain，primarily，arule，prescription，orclueofthenatureofasecretcipher，which，onceknown，wouldenablehim，bymerelyapplyingit，tochangeatwillallwordsofhisownspeechintothoseoftheforeignone。Hischildishideawas，infact，apushingtotheextremityofmathematicalprecisionwhatiseverywhereknownasGrimm’sLaw-anaggrandizementofroughrulestoidealcompleteness。Thusheassumedthatthewordsoftherequiredlanguagewerealwaystobefoundsomewherelatentinthewordsofthegivenlanguagebythosewhohadthearttouncoverthem，suchartbeingfurnishedbythebooksaforesaid。

When，therefore，havingnotedthatthepacketborethepostmarkofChristminster，hecutthestring，openedthevolumes，andturnedtotheLatingrammar，whichchancedtocomeuppermost，hecouldscarcelybelievehiseyes。

Thebookwasanoldone-thirtyyearsold，soiled，scribbledwantonlyoverwithastrangenameineveryvarietyofenmitytotheletterpress，andmarkedatrandomwithdatestwentyyearsearlierthanhisownday。

ButthiswasnotthecauseofJude’samazement。Helearntforthefirsttimethattherewasnolawoftransmutation，asinhisinnocencehehadsupposed(therewas，insomedegree，butthegrammariandidnotrecognizeit)，butthateverywordinbothLatinandGreekwastobeindividuallycommittedtomemoryatthecostofyearsofplodding。

Judeflungdownthebooks，laybackwardalongthebroadtrunkoftheelm，andwasanutterlymiserableboyforthespaceofaquarterofanhour。Ashehadoftendonebefore，hepulledhishatoverhisfaceandwatchedthesunpeeringinsidiouslyathimthroughtheintersticesofthestraw。ThiswasLatinandGreek，then，wasitthisgranddelusion！

ThecharmhehadsupposedinstoreforhimwasreallyalabourlikethatofIsraelinEgypt。

WhatbrainstheymusthaveinChristminsterandthegreatschools，hepresentlythought，tolearnwordsonebyoneuptotensofthousands！

Therewerenobrainsinhisheadequaltothisbusiness；andasthelittlesun-rayscontinuedtostreaminthroughhishatathim，hewishedhehadneverseenabook，thathemightneverseeanother，thathehadneverbeenborn。

Somebodymighthavecomealongthatwaywhowouldhaveaskedhimhistrouble，andmighthavecheeredhimbysayingthathisnotionswerefurtheradvancedthanthoseofhisgrammarian。Butnobodydidcome，becausenobodydoes；andunderthecrushingrecognitionofhisgiganticerrorJudecontinuedtowishhimselfoutoftheworld。

JudetheObscureChapter05I-vDuringthethreeorfoursucceedingyearsaquaintandsingularvehiclemighthavebeendiscernedmovingalongthelanesandby-roadsnearMarygreen，driveninaquaintandsingularway。

InthecourseofamonthortwoafterthereceiptofthebooksJudehadgrowncalloustotheshabbytrickplayedhimbythedeadlanguages。

Infact，hisdisappointmentatthenatureofthosetongueshad，afterawhile，beenthemeansofstillfurtherglorifyingtheeruditionofChristminster。

Toacquirelanguages，departedorlivinginspiteofsuchobstinaciesashenowknewtheminherentlytopossess，wasaherculeanperformancewhichgraduallyledhimontoagreaterinterestinitthaninthepresupposedpatentprocess。Themountain-weightofmaterialunderwhichtheideaslayinthosedustyvolumescalledtheclassicspiquedhimintoadogged，mouselikesubtletyofattempttomoveitpiecemeal。

Hehadendeavouredtomakehispresencetolerabletohiscrustymaidenauntbyassistinghertothebestofhisability，andthebusinessofthelittlecottagebakeryhadgrowninconsequence。Anagedhorsewithahangingheadhadbeenpurchasedforeightpoundsatasale，acreakingcartwithawhity-browntiltobtainedforafewpoundsmore，andinthisturn-outitbecameJude’sbusinessthriceaweektocarryloavesofbreadtothevillagersandsolitarycottersimmediatelyroundMarygreen。

Thesingularityaforesaidlay，afterall，lessintheconveyanceitselfthaninJude’smannerofconductingitalongitsroute。ItsinteriorwasthesceneofmostofJude’seducationby`privatestudy。’Assoonasthehorsehadlearnttheroadandthehousesatwhichhewastopauseawhile，theboy，seatedinfront，wouldslipthereinsoverhisarm，ingeniouslyfixopen，bymeansofastrapattachedtothetilt，thevolumehewasreading，spreadthedictionaryonhisknees，andplungeintothesimplerpassagesfromCaesar，Virgil，orHorace，asthecasemightbe，inhispurblindstumblingway，andwithanexpenditureoflabourthatwouldhavemadeatender-heartedpedagogueshedtears；yetsomehowgettingatthemeaningofwhatheread，anddiviningratherthanbeholdingthespiritoftheoriginal，whichoftentohismindwassomethingelsethanthatwhichhewastaughttolookfor。

TheonlycopieshehadbeenabletolayhandsonwereoldDelphineditions，becausetheyweresuperseded，andthereforecheap。But，badforidleschoolboys，itdidsohappenthattheywerepassablygoodforhim。

Thehamperedandlonelyitinerantconscientiouslycoveredupthemarginalreadings，andusedthemmerelyonpointsofconstruction，ashewouldhaveusedacomradeortutorwhoshouldhavehappenedtobepassingby。AndthoughJudemayhavehadlittlechanceofbecomingascholarbytheseroughandreadymeans，hewasinthewayofgettingintothegroovehewishedtofollow。

Whilehewasbusiedwiththeseancientpages，whichhadalreadybeenthumbedbyhandspossiblyinthegrave，diggingoutthethoughtsofthesemindssoremoteyetsonear，thebonyoldhorsepursuedhisrounds，andJudewouldbearousedfromthewoesofDidobythestoppageofhiscartandthevoiceofsomeoldwomancrying，`Twoto-day，baker，andI

returnthisstaleone。’

Hewasfrequentlymetinthelanesbypedestriansandotherswithouthisseeingthem，andbydegreesthepeopleoftheneighbourhoodbegantotalkabouthismethodofcombiningworkandplay(suchtheyconsideredhisreadingtobe)，which，thoughprobablyconvenientenoughtohimself，wasnotaltogetherasafeproceedingforothertravellersalongthesameroads。Thereweremurmurs。Thenaprivateresidentofanadjoiningplaceinformedthelocalpolicemanthatthebaker’sboyshouldnotbeallowedtoreadwhiledriving，andinsistedthatitwastheconstable’sdutytocatchhimintheact，andtakehimtothepolicecourtatAlfredston，andgethimfinedfordangerouspracticesonthehighway。ThepolicemanthereuponlayinwaitforJude，andonedayaccostedhimandcautionedhim。

AsJudehadtogetupatthreeo’clockinthemorningtoheattheoven，andmixandsetinthebreadthathedistributedlaterintheday，hewasobligedtogotobedatnightimmediatelyafterlayingthesponge；sothatifhecouldnotreadhisclassicsonthehighwayshecouldhardlystudyatall。Theonlythingtobedonewas，therefore，tokeepasharpeyeaheadandaroundhimaswellashecouldinthecircumstances，andslipawayhisbooksassoonasanybodyloomedinthedistance，thepolicemaninparticular。Todothatofficialjustice，hedidnotputhimselfmuchinthewayofJude’sbread-cart，consideringthatinsuchalonelydistrictthechiefdangerwastoJudehimself，andoftenonseeingthewhitetiltoverthehedgeshewouldmoveinanotherdirection。

OnadaywhenFawleywasgettingquiteadvanced，beingnowaboutsixteen，andhadbeenstumblingthroughthe`CarmenSaeculare，’onhiswayhome，hefoundhimselftobepassingoverthehighedgeoftheplateaubytheBrownHouse。Thelighthadchanged，anditwasthesenseofthiswhichhadcausedhimtolookup。Thesunwasgoingdown，andthefullmoonwasrisingsimultaneouslybehindthewoodsintheoppositequarter。Hismindhadbecomesoimpregnatedwiththepoemthat，inamomentofthesameimpulsiveemotionwhichyearsbeforehadcausedhimtokneelontheladder，hestoppedthehorse，alighted，andglancingroundtoseethatnobodywasinsight，kneltdownontheroadsidebankwithopenbook。Heturnedfirsttotheshinygoddess，whoseemedtolooksosoftlyandcriticallyathisdoings，thentothedisappearingluminaryontheotherhand，ashebegan：