第99章

BLOOM(Winksatthebystanders。)Ibetshe’sabonnylassie。

THEODOREPUREFOY(Infishingcapandoilskinjacket。)Heemploysamechanicaldevicetofrustratethesacredendsofnature。

THEVEILEDSIBYL(Stabsherself。)Myherogod！(Shedies。)

(Manymostattractiveandenthusiasticwomenalsocommitsuicidebystabbing，drowning，drinkingprussicacid，aconite，arsenic，openingtheirveins，refusingfood，castingthemselvesundersteamrollers，fromthetopofNelson’sPillar，intothegreatvatofGuinness’sbrewery，asphyxiatingthemselvesbyplacingtheirheadsingasovens，hangingthemselvesinstylishgarters，leapingfromwindowsofdifferentstoreys。)

ALEXANDERJ。DOWIE(Violently。)FellowchristiansandantiBloomites，themancalledBloomisfromtherootsofhell，adisgracetochristianmen。AfiendishlibertinefromhisearliestyearsthisstinkinggoatofMendesgaveprecocioussignsofinfantiledebaucheryrecallingthecitiesoftheplain，withadissolutegranddam。Thisvilehypocrite，bronzedwithinfamy，isthewhitebullmentionedintheApocalypse。AworshipperoftheScarletWoman，intrigueistheverybreathofhisnostrils。Thestakefaggotsandthecaldronofboilingoilareforhim。Caliban！

THEMOBLynchhim！Roasthim！He’sasbadasParnellwas。MrFox！

(MotherGroganthrowsherbootatBloom。SeveralshopkeepersfromupperandlowerDorsetstreetthrowobjectsoflittleornocommercialvalue，hambones，condensedmilktins，unsaleablecabbage，stalebread，sheeps’tails，oddpiecesoffat。)

BLOOM(Excitedly。)Thisismidsummermadness，someghastlyjokeagain。Byheaven，Iamguiltlessastheunsunnedsnow！ItwasmybrotherHenry。Heismydouble。Helivesinnumber2Dolphin’sBarn。Slander，theviper，haswrongfullyaccusedme。Fellowcountrymen，sgenlinnbanbatacoisdegancapall。Icallonmyoldfriend，DrMalachiMulligan，sexspecialisttogivemedicaltestimonyonmybehalf。

DRMULLIGAN(Inmotorjerkin，greenmotorogglesonhisbrow。)

DrBloomisbisexuallyabnormal。HehasrecentlyescapedfromDrEustace’sprivateasylumfordementedgentlemen。Bornoutofbedlockhereditaryepilepsyispresent，theconsequenceofunbridledlust。Tracesofelephantiasishavebeendiscoveredamonghisascendants。Therearemarkedsymptomsofchronicexhibitionism。Ambidexterityisalsolatent。Heisprematurelybaldfromselfabuse，perverselyidealisticinconsequence，areformedrake，andhasmetalteeth。InconsequenceofafamilycomplexhehastemporarilylosthismemoryandIbelievehimtobemoresinnedagainstthansinning。

Ihavemadeapervaginalexaminationand，afterapplicationoftheacidtestto5427anal，axillary，pectoralandpubichairs，Ideclarehimtobevirgointacta。

(Bloomholdshishighgradehatoverhisgenitalorgans。)

DRMADDENHypsospadiaisalsomarked。IntheinterestofcominggenerationsIsuggestthatthepartsaffectedshouldbepreservedinspiritsofwineinthenationalteratologicalmuseum。

DRCROTTHERSIhaveexaminedthepatient’surine。Itisalbuminoid。

Salivationisinsufficient，thepatellarreflexintermittent。

DRPUNCHCOSTELLOThefetorjudaicusismostperceptible。

DRDIXON(Readsabillofhealth。)ProfessorBloomisafinishedexampleofthenewwomanlyman。Hismoralnatureissimpleandlovable。

Manyhavefoundhimadearman，adearperson。Heisaratherquaintfellowonthewhole，coythoughnotfeeble-mindedinthemedicalsense。Hehaswrittenareallybeautifulletter，apoeminitself，tothecourtmissionaryoftheReformedPriests’ProtectionSocietywhichclearsupeverything。

HeispracticallyatotalabstainerandIcanaffirmthathesleepsonastrawlitterandeatsthemostSpartanfood，colddriedgrocer’speas。

HewearsahairshirtwinterandsummerandscourgeshimselfeverySaturday。

Hewas，Iunderstand，atonetimeafirstclassmisdemeanantinGlencreereformatory。Anotherreportstatesthathewasaveryposthumouschild。

Iappealforclemencyinthenameofthemostsacredwordourvocalorganshaveeverbeencalledupontospeak。Heisabouttohaveababy。

(Generalcommotionandcompassion。Womenf