第22章

Imperiumromanum，J。J。O’Molloysaidgently。ItsoundsnoblerthanBritishorBrixton。Thewordremindsonesomehowoffatinthefire。

MylesCrawfordblewhisfirstpuffviolentlytowardstheceiling。

That’sit，hesaid。Wearethefat。YouandIarethefatinthefire。Wehaven’tgotthechanceofasnowballinhell。TheGrandeurthatwasRomeWaitamoment，professorMacHughsaid，raisingtwoquietclaws。Wemustn’tbeledawaybywords，bysoundsofwords。WethinkofRome，imperial，imperious，imperative。

Heextendedelocutionaryarmsfromfrayedstainedshirtcuffs，pausing：

Whatwastheircivilisation？Vast，Iallow：butvile。Cloac&；Aelig；：

sewers。TheJewsinthewildernessandonthemountaintopsaid：Itismeettobehere。LetusbuildanaltartoJehovah。TheRoman，liketheEnglishmanwhofollowsinhisfootsteps，broughttoeverynewshoreonwhichhesethisfoot(onourshoreheneversetit)onlyhiscloacalobsession。Hegazedabouthiminhistogaandhesaid：Itismeettobehere。Letusconstructawatercloset。

Whichtheyaccordinglydiddo，Lenehansaid。Ouroldancientancestors，aswereadinthefirstchapterofGuinness’s，werepartialtotherunningstream。

Theywerenature’sgentlemen，J。J。O’Molloymurmured。ButwehavealsoRomanlaw。

AndPontiusPilateisitsprophet，professorMacHughresponded。

DoyouknowthatstoryaboutchiefBaronPalles？J。J。O’Molloyasked。

Itwasattheroyaluniversitydinner。Everythingwasgoingswimmingly。

Firstmyriddle，Lenehansaid。Areyouready？

MrO’MaddenBurke，tallincopiousgreyofDonegaltweed，cameinfromthehallway。StephenDedalus，behindhim，uncoveredasheentered。

Entrez，mesenfants！Lenehancried。

Iescortasuppliant，MrO’MaddenBurkesaidmelodiously。YouthledbyExperiencevisitsNotoriety。

Howdoyoudo？theeditorsaid，holdingoutahand。Comein。Yourgovernorisjustgone。？？？Lenehansaidtoall：

Silence！Whatoperaresemblesarailwayline？Reflect，ponder，excogitate，reply。

Stephenhandedoverthetypedsheets，pointingtothetitleandsignature。

Who？theeditorasked。

Bittornoff。

MrGarrettDeasy，Stephensaid：

Thatoldpelters，theeditorsaid。Whotoreit？Washeshorttaken。OnswiftsailflamingFromstormandsouthHecomes，palevampire，Mouthtomymouth。Goodday，Stephen，theprofessorsaid，comingtopeerovertheirshoulders。

Footandmouth？Areyouturned……？

Bullockbefriendingbard。ShindyinwellknownRestaurantGoodday，sir，Stephenanswered，blushing。Theletterisnotmine。MrGarrettDeasyaskedmeto……

O，Iknowhim，MylesCrawfordsaid，andknewhiswifetoo。ThebloodiestoldtartarGodevermade。ByJesus，shehadthefootandmouthdiseaseandnomistake！Thenightshethrewthesoupinthewaiter’sfaceintheStarandGarter。Oho！

Awomanbroughtsinintotheworld。ForHelen，therunawaywifeofMenelaus，tenyearstheGreeks。O’Rourke，princeofBreffni。

Isheawidower？Stephenasked。

Ay，agrassone，MylesCrawfordsaid，hiseyerunningdownthetypescript。

Emperor’shorses。Habsburg。AnIrishmansavedhislifeontherampartsofVienna。Don’tyouforget！MaximilianKarlO’Donnell，grafvonTirconnelinIreland。SenthisheirovertomakethekinganAustrianfieldmarshalnow。Goingtobetroublethereoneday。Wildgeese。Oyes，everytime。

Don’tyouforgetthat！

Themootpointisdidheforgetit？J。J。O’Molloysaidquietly，turningahorseshoepaperweight。Savingprincesisathankyoujob。

ProfessorMacHughturnedonhim。

Andifnot？hesaid。

I’lltellyouhowitwas，MylesCrawfordbegan。Hungarianitwasoneday……LostCausesNobleMarquessmentionedWewerealwaysloyaltolostcauses，theprofessorsaid。Successforusisthedeathoftheintel