第82章

(SquintinginmockshamesheglanceswithsidelongmeaningatBloom，thentwistsroundtowardshim，pullingherslipfreeofthepoker。Bluefluidagainflowsoverherflesh。Bloomstands，smilingdesirously，twirlinghisthumbs。KittyRickettslickshermiddlefingerwithherspittleandgazinginthemirror，smoothsbotheyebrows。LipotiVirag，basilicogrammate，chutesrapidlydownthroughthechimneyflueandstrutstwostepstotheleftongawkypinkstilts。Heissausagedintoseveralovercoatsandwearsabrownmacintoshunderwhichheholdsarollofparchment。InhislefteyeflashesthemonocleofCashelBoyleO’ConnorFitzmauriceTisdallFarrell。

OnhisheadisperchedanEgyptianpshent。Twoquillsprojectoverhisears。)

VIRAG(Heelstogetherbows。)MynameisViragLipoti，ofSzombathely。

(Hecoughsthoughtfully，drily。)Promiscuousnakednessismuchinevidencehereabouts，eh？Inadvertentlyherbackviewrevealedthefactthatsheisnotwearingthoseratherintimategarmentsofwhichyouareaparticulardevotee。TheinjectionmarkonthethighIhopeyouperceived？Good。

BLOOMGranpapachi。But……

VIRAGNumbertwoontheotherhand，sheofthecherryrougeandcoiffeusewhite，whosehairowesnotalittletoourtribalelixirofgopherwood，isinwalkingcostumeandtightlystaysedbyhersit，Ishouldopine。Backboneinfront，sotosay。CorrectmebutIalwaysunderstoodthattheactsoperformedbyskittishhumanswithglimpsesoflingerieappealedtoyouinvirtueofitsexhibitionististicicity。Inaword。Hippogriff。AmIright？

BLOOMSheisratherlean。

VIRAG(Notunpleasantly。)Absolutely！Wellobservedandthosepannierpocketsoftheskirtandslightlypegtopeffectaredevisedtosuggestbunchinessofhip。Anewpurchaseatsomemonstersaleforwhichagullhasbeenmulcted。Meretriciousfinerytodeceivetheeye。Observetheattentiontodetailsofdustspecks。Neverputonyoutomorrowwhatyoucanweartoday。Parallax！(Withanervoustwitchofhishead。)

Didyouhearmybraingosnap？Pollysyllabax！

BLOOM(Anelbowrestinginahand，aforefingeragainsthischeek。)

Sheseemssad。

VIRAG(Cynically，hisweaselteethbaredyellow，drawsdownhislefteyewithafingerandbarkshoarsely。)Hoax！Bewareoftheflapperandbogusmournful。Lilyofthealley。Allpossessbachelor’sbuttondiscoveredbyRualdusColombus。Tumbleher。Columbleher。Chameleon。(Moregenially。)

Wellthen，permitmetodrawyourattentiontoitemnumberthree。Thereisplentyofhervisibletothenakedeye。Observethemassofoxygenatedvegetablematteronherskull。Whatho，shebumps！Theuglyducklingoftheparty，longcastedanddeepinkeel。

BLOOM(Regretfully。)Whenyoucomeoutwithoutyourgun。

VIRAGWecandoyouallbrands，mild，mediumandstrong。Payyourmoney，takeyourchoice。Howhappycouldyoubewitheither……

BLOOMWith？……

VIRAG(Histongueupcurling。)Lyum！Look。Herbeamisbroad。

Sheiscoatedwithquiteaconsiderablelayeroffat。Obviouslymammalinweightofbosomyouremarkthatshehasinfrontwelltotheforetwoprotuberancesofveryrespectabledimensions，inclinedtofallinthenoondaysoupplate，whileonherrerelowerdownaretwoadditionalprotuberances，suggestiveofpotentrectumandtumescentforpalpationwhichleavenothingtobedesiredsavecompactness。Suchfleshypartsaretheproductofcarefulnurture。Whencoopfattenedtheirliversreachanelephantinesize。Pelletsofnewbreadwithfennygreekandgumbenjaminswampeddownbypotionsofgreenteaendowthemduringtheirbriefexistencewithnaturalpincushionsofquitecolossalblubber。Thatsuitsyourbook，eh？FleshhotpotsofEgypttohankerafter。Wallowinit。Lycopodium。(Histhroattwitches。)

Slapbang！Therehegoesagain。

BLOOMThestyeIdislike。

VIRAG(Archeshiseyebrows。)Contactwithagoldring，theysay。Argumentumadfeminam，aswesaidinoldRomeandancientGreeceintheconsulshipofDiplodocusandIchthyosaurus。FortherestEve’ssovereignremedy。Notforsale。Hireonly。Huguenot。(Hetwitches。)

Itisafunnysound。

(Hecoughsencouragingly。)Butpossiblyitisonlyawart。I

presumeyoushall