第18章

Asitshouldbe，MrKernansaid。

What？Eh？CornyKellehersaid。

MrKernanassuredhim。

WhoisthatchapbehindwithTomKernan？JohnHenryMentonasked。

Iknowhisface。

NedLambertglancedback。

Bloom，hesaid，MadamMarionTweedythatwas，is，Imean，thesoprano。

She’shiswife。

O，tobesure，JohnHenryMentonsaid。Ihaven’tseenherforsometime。Shewasafinelookingwoman。Idancedwithher，wait，fifteenseventeengoldenyearsago，atMatDillon’s，inRoundtown。Andagoodarmfulshewas。

Helookedbehindthroughtheothers。

Whatishe？heasked。Whatdoeshedo？Wasn’theinthestationeryline？Ifellfoulofhimoneevening，Iremember，atbowls。

NedLambertsmiled。

Yes，hewas，hesaid，inWisdomHely’s。Atravellerforblottingpaper。

InGod’sname，JohnHenryMentonsaid，whatdidshemarryacoonlikethatfor？Shehadplentyofgameinherthen。

Hasstill，NedLambertsaid。Hedoessomecanvassingforads。

JohnHenryMenton’slargeeyesstaredahead。

Thebarrowturnedintoasidelane。Aportlyman，ambushedamongthegrasses，raisedhishatinhomage。Thegravediggerstouchedtheircaps。

JohnO’Connell，MrPowersaid，pleased。Heneverforgetsafriend。

MrO’Connellshookalltheirhandsinsilence。MrDedalussaid：

Iamcometopayyouanothervisit。

MydearSimon，thecaretakeransweredinalowvoice。Idon’twantyourcustomatall。

SalutingNedLambertandJohnHenryMentonhewalkedonatMartinCunningham’sside，puzzlingtwokeysathisback。

Didyouhearthatone，heaskedthem，aboutMulcahyfromtheCoombe？

Ididnot，MartinCunninghamsaid。

TheybenttheirsilkhatsinconcertandHynesinclinedhisear。Thecaretakerhunghisthumbsintheloopsofhisgoldwatchchainandspokeinadiscreettonetotheirvacantsmiles。

Theytellthestory，hesaid，thattwodrunkscameouthereonefoggyeveningtolookforthegraveofafriendoftheirs。TheyaskedforMulcahyfromtheCoombeandweretoldwherehewasburied。Aftertraipsingaboutinthefogtheyfoundthegrave，sureenough。Oneofthedrunksspeltoutthename：TerenceMulcahy。TheotherdrunkwasblinkingupatastatueofourSaviourthewidowhadgotputup。

Thecaretakerblinkedupatoneofthesepulchrestheypassed。Heresumed：

And，afterblinkingupatthesacredfigure，Notabloodybitliketheman，sayshe。That’snotMulcahy，sayshe，whoeverdoneit。

RewardedbysmileshefellbackandspokewithCornyKelleher，acceptingthedocketsgivenhim，turningthemoverandscanningthemashewalked。

That’salldonewithapurpose，MartinCunninghamexplainedtoHynes。

Iknow，Hynessaid，Iknowthat。

Tocheerafellowup，MartinCunninghamsaid。It’spuregoodheartedness：

damnthethingelse。

MrBloomadmiredthecaretaker’sprosperousbulk。Allwanttobeongoodtermswithhim。Decentfellow，JohnO’Connell，realgoodsort。Keys：

likeKeyes’sad：nofearofanyonegettingout，nopassoutchecks。Habeatcorpus。Imustseeaboutthatadafterthefuneral。DidIwriteBallsbridgeontheenvelopeItooktocoverwhenshedisturbedmewritingtoMartha？

Hopeit’snotchuckedinthedeadletteroffice。Bethebetterofashave。

Greysproutingbeard。That’sthefirstsignwhenthehairscomeoutgreyandtempergettingcross。Silverthreadsamongthegrey。Fancybeinghiswife。Wonderhowhehadthegumptiontoproposetoanygirl。Comeoutandliveinthegraveyard。Danglethatbeforeher。Itmightthrillherfirst。

Courtingdeath……Shadesofnighthoveringherewithallthedeadstretchedabout。TheshadowsofthetombswhenchurchyardsyawnandDanielO’ConnellmustbeadescendantIsupposewhoisthisusedtosayhewasaqueerbreedymangreatcatholicallthesamelikeabiggiantinthedark。Willo’thewisp。Gasofgraves。Wanttokeephermindoffittoconceiveatall。Womenespeciallyaresotouchy。Tellheraghoststoryinbedtomakehersleep。

Haveyoueverseenaghost？Well，Ihave。Itwasapitchdarknight。Theclockwasonthestrokeoftwelve。Stillthey’dkissallrightifproperlykeyedup。WhoresinTurkishgraveyards。Learnanythingiftakenyoung。

Youmightpickupayoungwidowhere。Menlikethat。Loveamongthetombstones。

Romeo。Spiceofpleasure。Inthemidstofdeathweareinlife。Bothendsmeet。Tantalisingforthepoordead。Smelloffrilledbeefsteakstothestarvinggnawingtheirvitals。Desiretogrigpeople。Mollywantingtodoitatthewindow。Eightchildrenhehasanyway。

Hehasseenafairsharegounderinhistime，lyingaroundhimfieldafterfield。Holyfields。Moreroomiftheyburiedthemstanding。Sittingorkneelingyoucouldn’t。Standing？Hisheadmightcomeupsomedayabovegroundinalandslipwithhishandpointing。Allhoneycombedthegroundmustbe：oblongcells。Andveryneathekeepsittoo，trimgrassandedgings。

HisgardenMajorGamblecallsMountJerome。Wellsoitis。Oughttobeflowersofsleep。ChinesecemeterieswithgiantpoppiesgrowingproducethebestopiumMastianskytoldme。TheBotanicGardensarejustoverthere。

It’sthebloodsinkingintheearthgivesnewlife。Sameideathosejewstheysaidkilledthechristianboy。Everymanhisprice。Wellpreservedfatcorpsegentleman，epicure，invaluableforfruitgarden。Abargain。

BycarcassofWilliamWilkinson，auditorandaccountant，latelydeceased，threepoundsthirteenandsix。Withthanks。

Idaresaythesoilwouldbequitefatwithcorpsemanure，bones，flesh，nails，charnelhouses。Dreadful。Turninggreenandpink，decomposing。Rotquickindampearth。Theleanoldonestougher。Thenakindofatallowykindofacheesy。Thenbegintogetblack，treacleoozingoutofthem。

Thendriedup。Deathmoths。Ofcoursethecellsorwhatevertheyaregoonliving。Changingabout。Liveforeverpractically。Nothingtofeedonfeedonthemselves。

Buttheymustbreedadevilofalotofmaggots。Soilmustbesimplyswirlingwiththem。Yourheaditsimplyswurls。Thoseprettylittleseasidegurls。Helookscheerfulenoughoverit。Giveshimasenseofpowerseeingalltheothersgounderfirst。Wonderhowhelooksatlife。Crackinghisjokestoo：warmsthecocklesofhisheart。Theoneaboutthebulletin。

Spurgeonwenttoheaven4A。M。thismorning。11P。M。(closingtime)。Notarrivedyet。Peter。Thedeadthemselvesthemenanyhowwouldliketohearanoddjokeorthewomentoknowwhat’sinfashion。Ajuicypearorladies’

punch，hot，strongandsweet。Keepoutthedamp。Youmustlaughsometimessobetterdoitthatway。GravediggersinHamlet。Showstheprofoundknowledgeofthehumanheart。Daren’tjokeaboutthedeadfortwoyearsatleast。Demortuisnilnisiprius。Gooutofmourningfirst。Hardtoimaginehisfuneral。Seemsasortofajoke。Readyourownobituarynoticetheysayyoulivelonger。Givesyousecondwind。Newleaseoflife。

Howmanyhaveyoufortomorrow？thecaretakerasked。

Two，CornyKellehersaid。Halftenandeleven。

Thecaretakerputthepapersinhispocket。Thebarrowhadceasedtotrundle。Themournerssplitandmovedtoeachsideofthehole，steppingwithcareroundthegraves。Thegravediggersborethecoffinandsetitsnoseonthebrink，loopingthebandsroundit。

Buryinghim。WecometoburyCaesar。HisidesofMarchorJune。Hedoesn’tknowwhoisherenorcare。

Nowwhoisthatlankylookinggalootoverthereinthemacintosh？NowwhoisheI’dliketoknow？Now，I’dgiveatrifletoknowwhoheis。Alwayssomeoneturnsupyouneverdreamtof。Afellowcouldliveonhislonesomeallhislife。Yes，hecould。Stillhe’dhavetogetsomeonetosodhimafterhediedthoughhecoulddighisowngrave。Wealldo。Onlymanburies。

Noantstoo。Firstthingstrikesanybody。Burythedead。SayRobinsonCrusoewastruetolife。WellthenFridayburiedhim。EveryFridayburiesaThursdayifyoucometolookatit。O，poorRobinsonCrusoe，Howcouldyoupossiblydoso？PoorDignam！Hislastlieontheearthinhisbox。Whenyouthinkofthemallitdoesseemawasteofwood。Allgnawedthrough。Theycouldinventahandsomebierwithakindofpanelslidingletitdownthatway。Aybuttheymightobjecttobeburiedoutofanotherfellow’s。They’resoparticular。

Laymeinmynativeearth。Bitofclayfromtheholyland。Onlyamotheranddeadbornchildeverburiedintheonecoffin。Iseewhatitmeans。

Isee。Toprotecthimaslongaspossibleevenintheearth。TheIrishman’shouseishiscoffin。Enbalmingincatacombs，mummies，thesameidea。

MrBloomstoodfarback，hishatinhishand，countingthebaredheads。

Twelve。I’mthirteen。No。Thechapinthemacintoshisthirteen。Death’snumber。Wherethedeucedidhepopoutof？Hewasn’tinthechapel，thatI’llswear。Sillysuperstitionthataboutthirteen。

NicesofttweedNedLamberthasinthatsuit。Tingeofpurple。IhadonelikethatwhenwelivedinLombardstreetwest。Dressyfellowhewasonce。Usedtochangethreesuitsintheday。MustgetthatgreysuitofmineturnedbyMesias。Hello。It’sdyed。HiswifeIforgothe’snotmarriedorhislandladyoughttohavepickedoutthosethreadsforhim。

Thecoffindivedoutofsight，easeddownbythemenstraddledonthegravetrestles。Theystruggledupandout：andalluncovered。Twenty。

Pause。

Ifwewereallsuddenlysomebodyelse。

Farawayadonkeybrayed。Rain。Nosuchass。Neverseeadeadone，theysay。Shameofdeath。Theyhide。Alsopoorpapawentaway。

Gentlesweetairblewroundthebaredheadsinawhisper。Whisper。Theboybythegraveheadheldhiswreathwithbothhandsstaringquietlyintheblackopenspace。MrBloommovedbehindtheportlykindlycaretaker。

Wellcutfrockcoat。Weighingthemupperhapstoseewhichwillgonext。

Wellitisalongrest。Feelnomore。It’sthemomentyoufeel。Mustbedamnedunpleasant。Can’tbelieveitatfirst。Mistakemustbe：someoneelse。Trythehouseopposite。Wait，Iwantedto。Ihaven’tyet。Thendarkeneddeathchamber。Lighttheywant。Whisperingaroundyou。Wouldyouliketoseeapriest？Thenramblingandwandering。Deliriumallyouhidallyourlife。Thedeathstruggle。Hissleepisnotnatural。Presshislowereyelid。

Watchingishisnosepointedishisjawsinkingarethesolesofhisfeetyellow。Pullthepillowawayandfinishitoffonthefloorsincehe’sdoomed。Devilinthatpictureofsinner’sdeathshowinghimawoman。Dyingtoembraceherinhisshirt。LastactofLucia。ShallInevermorebeholdthee？Bam！expires。Goneatlast。Peopletalkaboutyouabit：forgetyou。Don’tforgettoprayforhim。Rememberhiminyourprayers。EvenParnell。

Ivydaydyingout。Thentheyfollow：droppingintoaholeoneaftertheother。

Weareprayingnowforthereposeofhissoul。Hopingyou’rewellandnotinhell。Nicechangeofair。Outofthefryingpanoflifeintothefireofpurgatory。

Doesheeverthinkoftheholewaitingforhimself？Theysayyoudowhenyoushiverinthesun。Someonewalkingoverit。Callboy’swarning。

Nearyou。MineovertheretowardsFinglas，theplotIbought。Mammapoormamma，andlittleRudy。

Thegravediggerstookuptheirspadesandflungheavyclodsofclayinonthecoffin。MrBloomturnedhisface。Andifhewasaliveallthetime？Whew！ByJingo，thatwouldbeawful！No，no：heisdead，ofcourse。

Ofcourseheisdead。Mondayhedied。Theyoughttohavesomelawtopiercetheheartandmakesureoranelectricclockoratelephoneinthecoffinandsomekindofacanvasairhole。Flagofdistress。Threedays。Ratherlongtokeeptheminsummer。Justaswelltogetshutofthemassoonasyouaresurethere’sno。

Theclayfellsofter。Begintobeforgotten。Outofsight，outofmind。

Thecaretakermovedawayafewpacesandputonhishat。Hadenoughofit。Themournerstookheartofgrace，onebyone，coveringthemselveswithoutshow。MrBloomputonhishatandsawtheportlyfiguremakeitswaydeftlythroughthemazeofgraves。Quietly，sureofhisground，hetraversedthedismalfields。

Hynesjottingdownsomethinginhisnotebook。Ah，thenames。Butheknowsthemall。No：comingtome。

Iamjusttakingthenames，Hynessaidbelowhisbreath。Whatisyourchristianname？I’mnotsure。

L，MrBloomsaid。Leopold。AndyoumightputdownM’Coy’snametoo。

Heaskedmeto。