第64章

Ifearamist，andflyfromsmokeasfromtheplague:thefirstrepairsI

felluponinmyownhousewerethechimneysandhousesofoffice，thecommonandinsupportabledefectsofalloldbuildings;andamongstthedifficultiesofwarIreckonthechokingdusttheymadeusrideinawholedaytogether。Ihaveafreeandeasyrespiration，andmycoldsforthemostpartgooffwithoutoffencetothelungsandwithoutacough。

Theheatofsummerismoreanenemytomethanthecoldofwinter;for，besidestheincommodityofheat，lessremediablethancold，andbesidestheforceofthesunbeamsthatstrikeuponthehead，allglitteringlightoffendsmyeyes，sothatIcouldnotnowsitatdinneroveragainstaflamingfire。

Todullthewhitenessofpaper，inthosetimeswhenIwasmorewonttoread，Ilaidapieceofglassuponmybook，andfoundmyeyesmuchrelievedbyit。Iamtothishour——totheageoffifty—four——Ignorantoftheuseofspectacles;andIcanseeasfaraseverIdid，oranyother。

’TistruethatintheeveningIbegintofindalittledisturbanceandweaknessinmysightifIread，anexerciseIhavealwaysfoundtroublesome，especiallybynight。Hereisonestepback，andaverymanifestone;Ishallretireanother:fromthesecondtothethird，andsotothefourth，sogently，thatIshallbestarkblindbeforeIshallbesensibleoftheageanddecayofmysight:soartificiallydotheFatalSistersuntwistourlives。AndsoIdoubtwhethermyhearingbeginstogrowthick;andyouwillseeIshallhavehalflostit，whenI

shallstilllaythefaultonthevoicesofthosewhospeaktome。Amanmustscrewuphissoultoahighpitchtomakeitsensiblehowitebbsaway。

Mywalkingisquickandfirm;andIknownotwhichofthetwo，mymindormybody，Ihavemosttodotokeepinthesamestate。Thatpreacherisverymuchmyfriendwhocanfixmyattentionawholesermonthrough:inplacesofceremony，whereeveryone’scountenanceissostarched，whereI

haveseentheladieskeepeventheireyessofixed，Icouldneverorderitso，thatsomepartorotherofmedidnotlashout;sothatthoughI

wasseated，Iwasneversettled;andastogesticulation，Iamneverwithoutaswitchinmyhand，walkingorriding。AsthephilosopherChrysippus’maidsaidofhermaster，thathewasonlydrunkinhislegs，foritwashiscustomtobealwayskickingthemaboutinwhatplacesoeverhesat;andshesaiditwhen，thewinehavingmadeallhiscompanionsdrunk，hefoundnoalterationinhimselfatall;itmayhavebeensaidofmefrommyinfancy，thatIhadeitherfollyorquicksilverinmyfeet，somuchstirringandunsettlednessthereisinthem，wherevertheyareplaced。

’Tisindecent，besidesthehurtitdoestoone’shealth，andeventothepleasureofeating，toeatgreedilyasIdo;Ioftenbitemytongue，andsometimesmyfingers，inmyhaste。Diogenes，meetingaboyeatingafterthatmanner，gavehistutoraboxontheear！ThereweremenatRomethattaughtpeopletochew，aswellastowalk，withagoodgrace。I

losetherebytheleisureofspeaking，whichgivesgreatrelishtothetable，providedthediscoursebesuitable，thatis，pleasantandshort。

Thereisjealousyandenvyamongstourpleasures;theycrossandhinderoneanother。Alcibiades，amanwhowellunderstoodhowtomakegoodcheer，banishedevenmusicfromthetable，thatitmightnotdisturbtheentertainmentofdiscourse，forthereason，asPlatotellsus，"thatitisthecustomofordinarypeopletocallfiddlersandsingingmentofeasts，forwantofgooddiscourseandpleasanttalk，withwhichmenofunderstandingknowhowtoentertainoneanother。"Varrorequiresallthisinentertainments:"Personsofgracefulpresenceandagreeableconversation，whoareneithersilentnorgarrulous;neatnessanddelicacy，bothofmeatandplace;andfairweather。"Theartofdiningwellisnoslightart，thepleasurenotaslightpleasure;neitherthegreatestcaptainsnorthegreatestphilosophershavedisdainedtheuseorscienceofeatingwell。Myimaginationhasdeliveredthreerepaststothecustodyofmymemory，whichfortunerenderedsovereignlysweettome，uponseveraloccasionsinmymoreflourishingage;mypresentstateexcludesme;foreveryone，accordingtothegoodtemperofbodyandmindwhereinhethenfindshimself，furnishesforhisownshareaparticulargraceandsavour。I，whobutcrawlupontheearth，hatethisinhumanwisdom，thatwillhaveusdespiseandhateallcultureofthebody;I

lookuponitasanequalinjusticetoloathnaturalpleasuresastobetoomuchinlovewiththem。Xerxeswasablockhead，who，environedwithallhumandelights，proposedarewardtohimwhocouldfindoutothers;

butheisnotmuchlesssowhocutsoffanyofthosepleasuresthatnaturehasprovidedforhim。Amanshouldneitherpursuenoravoidthem，butreceivethem。Ireceivethem，Iconfess，alittletoowarmlyandkindly，andeasilysuffermyselftofollowmynaturalpropensions。Wehavenoneedtoexaggeratetheirinanity;theythemselveswillmakeussufficientlysensibleofit，thankstooursickwet—blanketmind，thatputsusoutoftastewiththemaswithitself;ittreatsbothitselfandallitreceives，onewhilebetter，andanotherworse，accordingtoitsinsatiable，vagabond，andversatileessence:

"Sincerumestnisivas，quodcunqueinfundis，acescit。"

["Unlessthevesselbeclean，itwillsourwhateveryouputintoit。"——Horace，Ep。，i。2，54。]

I，whoboastthatIsocuriouslyandparticularlyembracetheconveniencesoflife，findthem，whenImostnearlyconsiderthem，verylittlemorethanwind。Butwhat？Weareallwindthroughout;and，moreover，thewinditself，morediscreetthanwe，lovestoblusterandshiftfromcornertocorner，andcontentsitselfwithitsproperofficeswithoutdesiringstabilityandsolidity—qualitiesnotitsown。

Thepurepleasures，aswellasthepuredispleasures，oftheimagination，saysome，arethegreatest，aswasexpressedbythebalanceofCritolaiis。’Tisnowonder;itmakesthemtoitsownliking，andcutsthemoutofthewholecloth;ofthisIeverydayseenotableexamples，and，peradventure，tobedesired。ButI，whoamofamixedandheavycondition，cannotsnapsosoonatthisonesimpleobject，butthatI

negligentlysuffermyselftobecarriedawaywiththepresentpleasuresofthe，generalhumanlaw，intellectuallysensible，andsensiblyintellectual。TheCyrenaicphilosopherswillhaveitthatascorporalpains，socorporalpleasuresaremorepowerful，bothasdoubleandasmorejust。Therearesome，asAristotlesays，whooutofasavagekindofstupiditydislikethem;andIknowotherswhooutofambitiondothesame。Whydotheynot，moreover，forswearbreathing？whydotheynotliveoftheirown？whynotrefuselight，becauseitisgratuitous，andcoststhemneitherinventionnorexertion？LetMars，Pallas，orMercuryaffordthemtheirlightbywhichtosee，insteadofVenus，Ceres，andBacchus。Theseboastfulhumoursmaycounterfeitsomecontent，forwhatwillnotfancydo？Butastowisdom，thereisnotouchofit。Willtheynotseekthequadratureofthecircle，evenwhenontheirwives？Ihatethatweshouldbeenjoinedtohaveourmindsintheclouds，whenourbodiesareattable;Iwouldnothavethemindnailedthere，norwallowthere;Iwouldhaveittakeplacethereandsit，butnotliedown。

Aristippusmaintainednothingbutthebody，asifwehadnosoul;Zenocomprehendedonlythesoul，asifwehadnobody:bothofthemfaultily。

Pythagoras，theysay，followedaphilosophythatwasallcontemplation，Socratesonethatwasallconductandaction;Platofoundameanbetwixtthetwo;buttheyonlysaythisforthesakeoftalking。ThetruetemperamentisfoundinSocrates;and，PlatoismuchmoreSocraticthanPythagoric，anditbecomeshimbetter。WhenIdance，Idance;whenI

sleep，Isleep。Nay，whenIwalkaloneinabeautifulorchard，ifmythoughtsaresomepartofthetimetakenupwithexternaloccurrences，Isomepartofthetimecallthembackagaintomywalk，totheorchard，tothesweetnessofthatsolitude，andtomyself。

Naturehasmother—likeobservedthis，thattheactionsshehasenjoinedusforournecessityshouldbealsopleasurabletous;andsheinvitesustothem，notonlybyreason，butalsobyappetite，and’tis，injusticetoinfringeherlaws。WhenIseealikeCaesarandAlexander，inthemidstofhisgreatestbusiness，sofullyenjoyhumanandcorporalpleasures，I

donotsaythatherelaxedhismind:Isaythathestrengthenedit，byvigourofcouragesubjectingthoseviolentemploymentsandlaboriousthoughtstotheordinaryusageoflife:wise，hadhebelievedthelastwashisordinary，thefirsthisextraordinary，vocation。Wearegreatfools。"Hehaspassedhislifeinidleness，"saywe:"Ihavedonenothingto—day。"What？haveyounotlived？thatisnotonlythefundamental，butthemostillustrious，ofyouroccupations。"HadIbeenputtothemanagementofgreataffairs，IshouldhavemadeitseenwhatI

coulddo。""Haveyouknownhowtomeditateandmanageyourlife？youhaveperformedthegreatestworkofall。"Inordertoshewanddevelopherself，natureneedsonlyfortune;sheequallymanifestsherselfinallstages，andbehindacurtainaswellaswithoutone。Haveyouknownhowtoregulateyourconduct，youhavedoneagreatdealmorethanhewhohascomposedbooks。Haveyouknownhowtotakerepose，youhavedonemorethanhewhohastakenempiresandcities。

Thegloriousmasterpieceofmanistolivetopurpose;allotherthings:

toreign，tolayuptreasure，tobuild，arebutlittleappendicesandprops。Itakepleasureinseeingageneralofanarmy，atthefootofabreachheispresentlytoassault，givehimselfupentireandfreeatdinner，totalkandbemerrywithhisfriends。AndBrutus，whenheavenandearthwereconspiredagainsthimandtheRomanliberty，stealingsomehourofthenightfromhisroundstoreadandscanPolybiusinallsecurity。’Tisforlittlesouls，buriedundertheweightofaffairs，notfromthemtoknowhowclearlytodisengagethemselves，nottoknowhowtolaythemasideandtakethemupagain:

"Ofortes，pejoraquepassiMecumsaepeviri！nuncvinopellitecurasCrasingensiterabimusaequor。"

["Obravespirits，whohaveoftensufferedsorrowwithme，drinkcaresaway;tomorrowwewillembarkoncemoreonthevastsea。"

——Horace，Od。，i。7，30。]

Whethe