第50章

willmayprocureusthisfavourfromtheladies;thisisnotasufficienttestimonyofaffection:treacherymaylurkthere，aswellaselsewhere:

theysometimesgoto’tbyhalves:

"TanquamthuramerumqueparentAbsentemmarmoreamveputes:"

["Asiftheyarepreparingfrankincenseandwine……youmightthinkherabsentormarble。"——Martial，xi。103，12，and59，8。]

Iknowsomewhohadratherlendthatthantheircoach，andwhoonlyimpartthemselvesthatway。Youaretoexaminewhetheryourcompanypleasesthemuponanyotheraccount，or，assomestrong—chinedgroom，forthatonly;inwhatdegreeoffavourandesteemyouarewiththem:

"Tibisidaturuni，Quemlapideilladiemcandidiorenotat。"

["Whereforethatisenough，ifthatdayaloneisgivenuswhichshemarkswithawhiterstone。"——Catullus，lxviii。147。]

Whatiftheyeatyourbreadwiththesauceofamorepleasingimagination。

"Tetenet，absentesaliossuspiratamores。"

["Shehasyouinherarms;herthoughtsarewithotherabsentlovers。"——Tibullus，i。6，35。]

What？havewenotseenoneinthesedaysofourswhomadeuseofthisactforthepurposeofamosthorridrevenge，bythatmeanstokillandpoison，ashedid，aworthylady？

SuchasknowItalywillnotthinkitstrangeif，forthissubject，Iseeknotelsewhereforexamples;forthatnationmaybecalledtheregentoftheworldinthis。Theyhavemoregenerallyhandsomeandfeweruglywomenthanwe;butforrareandexcellentbeautieswehaveasmanyasthey。Ithinkthesameoftheirintellects:ofthoseofthecommonsort，theyhaveevidentlyfarmorebrutishnessisimmeasurablyrarerthere;

butinindividualcharactersofthehighestform，wearenothingindebtedtothem。IfIshouldcarryonthecomparison，Imightsay，astouchingvalour，that，onthecontrary，itis，towhatitiswiththem，commonandnaturalwithus;butsometimesweseethempossessedofittosuchadegreeassurpassesthegreatestexampleswecanproduce:Themarriagesofthatcountryaredefectiveinthis;theircustomcommonlyimposessorudeandsoslavishalawuponthewomen，thatthemostdistantacquaintancewithastrangerisascapitalanoffenceasthemostintimate;sothatallapproachesbeingrenderednecessarilysubstantial，andseeingthatallcomestooneaccount，theyhavenohardchoicetomake;andwhentheyhavebrokendownthefence，wemaysafelypresumetheygetonfire:

"Luxuriaipsisvinculis，sicutferabestia，irritata，deindeemissa。"

["Lust，likeawildbeast，beingmoreexcitedbybeingbound，breaksfromhischainswithgreaterwildness。"——Livy，xxxiv。4。]

Theymustgivethemalittlemorerein:

"Vidiegonuperequum，contrasuafrenatenacem，Orereluctantifulminisiremodo":

["Isaw，theotherday，ahorsestrugglingagainsthisbit，rushlikeathunderbolt。"——Ovid，Amor。，iii。4，13。]

thedesireofcompanyisallayedbygivingitalittleliberty。Weareprettymuchinthesamecasetheyareextremeinconstraint，weinlicence。’TisagoodcustomwehaveinFrancethatoursonsarereceivedintothebestfamilies，theretobeentertainedandbreduppages，asinaschoolofnobility;and’tislookeduponasadiscourtesyandanaffronttorefusethistoagentleman。Ihavetakennotice（for，somanyfamilies，somanydifferingforms）thattheladieswhohavebeenstrictestwiththeirmaidshavehadnobetterluckthanthosewhoallowedthemagreaterliberty。Thereshouldbemoderationinthesethings;onemustleaveagreatdealoftheirconducttotheirowndiscretion;for，whenallcomestoall，nodisciplinecancurbthemthroughout。Butitistruewithalthatshewhocomesoffwithflyingcoloursfromaschoolofliberty，bringswithherwhereontoreposemoreconfidencethanshewhocomesawaysoundfromasevereandstrictschool。

Ourfathersdresseduptheirdaughters’looksinbashfulnessandfear（theircourageanddesiresbeingthesame）;weoursinconfidenceandassurance;weunderstandnothingofthematter;wemustleaveittotheSarmatianwomen，whomaynotliewithamantillwiththeirownhandstheyhavefirstkilledanotherinbattle。Forme，whohavenoothertitleleftmetothesethingsbutbytheears，’tissufficientif，accordingtotheprivilegeofmyage，theyretainmeforoneoftheircounsel。Iadvisethemthen，andusmentoo，toabstinence;butiftheageweliveinwillnotendureit，atleastmodestyanddiscretion。For，asinthestoryofAristippus，who，speakingtosomeyoungmenwhoblushedtoseehimgointoascandaloushouse，said"theviceisinnotcomingout，notingoingin，"letherwhohasnocareofherconsciencehaveyetsomeregardtoherreputation;andthoughsheberottenwithin，lethercarryafairoutsideatleast。

Icommendagradationanddelayinbestowingtheirfavours:Plato’declaresthat，inallsortsoflove，facilityandpromptnessareforbiddentothedefendant。’Tisasignofeagernesswhichtheyoughttodisguisewithallthearttheyhave，sorashly，wholly，andhand—over—

handtosurrenderthemselves。Incarryingthemselvesorderlyandmeasuredlyinthegrantingtheirlastfavours，theymuchmoreallureourdesiresandhidetheirown。Letthemstillflybeforeus，eventhosewhohavemostmindtobeovertaken:theybetterconquerusbyflying，astheScythiansdid。Tosaythetruth，accordingtothelawthatnaturehasimposeduponthem，itisnotproperlyforthemeithertowillordesire;

theirpartistosuffer，obey，andconsentandforthisitisthatnaturehasgiventhemaperpetualcapacity，whichinusisbutattimesanduncertain;theyarealwaysfitfortheencounter，thattheymaybealwaysreadywhenweareso"Patinatee。"—["Borntosuffer。"—Seneca，Ep。，95。]——

Andwhereasshehasorderedthatourappetitesshallbemanifestbyaprominentdemonstration，shewouldhavetheirstobehiddenandconcealedwithin，andhasfurnishedthemwithpartsimproperforostentation，andsimplydefensive。SuchproceedingsasthisthatfollowsmustbelefttotheAmazonianlicence:AlexandermarchinghisarmythroughHyrcania，Thalestris，QueenoftheAmazons，camewiththreehundredlighthorseofherown—sex，wellmounted，andarmed，havinglefttheremainderofaverygreat，armythatfollowedherbehindtheneighbouringmountainstogivehimavisit;whereshepubliclyandinplaintermstoldhimthatthefameofhisvalourandvictorieshadbroughtherthithertoseehim，andtomakehimanofferofherforcestoassisthiminthepursuitofhisenterprises;andthat，findinghimsohandsome，young，andvigorous，she，whowasalsoperfectinallthosequalities，advisedthattheymightlietogether，totheendthatfromthemostvaliantwomanoftheworldandthebravestmanthenliving，theremightspringsomegreatandwonderfulissueforthetimetocome。Alexanderreturnedherthanksforalltherest;but，togiveleisurefortheaccomplishmentofherlastdemand，hedetainedherthirteendaysinthatplace，whichwerespentinroyalfeastingandjollity，forthewelcomeofsocourageousaprincess。

Weare，almostthroughout，unjustjudgesoftheiractions，astheyareofours。Iconfessthetruthwhenitmakesagainstme，aswellaswhen’tisonmyside。’Tisanabominableintemperancethatpushesthemonsooftentochange，andthatwillnotletthemlimittheiraffectiontoanyonepersonwhatever;asisevidentinthatgoddesstowhomareattributedsomanychangesandsomanylovers。But’tistruewithalthat’tiscontrarytothenatureofloveifitbe，notviolent;andcontrarytothenatureofviolenceifitbeconstant。Andtheywhowonder，exclaim，andkeepsuchacluttertofindoutthecausesofthisfrailtyoftheirs，asunnaturalandnottobebelieved，howcomesittopasstheydonotdiscernhowoftentheyarethemselvesguiltyofthesame，withoutanyastonishmentormiracleatall？Itwould，peradventure，bemorestrangetoseethepassionfixed;’tisnotasimplycorporealpassion。Iftherebenoendtoavariceandambition，thereisdoubtlessnomoreindesire;

itstilllivesaftersatiety;and’tisimpossibletoprescribeeitherconstantsatisfactionorend;itevergoesbeyonditspossession。Andbythatmeansinconstancy，peradventure，isinsomesortmorepardonableinthemthaninus:theymayplead，aswellaswe，theinclinationtovarietyandnoveltycommontousboth;andsecondly，withoutus，thattheybuyacatinasack:Joanna，queenofNaples，causedherfirsthusband，Andrews，tobehangedatthebarsofherwindowinahalterofgoldandsilkwovenwithherownhand，becauseinmatrimonialperformancessheneitherfoundhispartsnorabilitiesanswertheexpectationshehadconceivedfromhisstature，beauty，youth，andactivity，bywhichshehadbeencaughtanddeceived。Theymaysaythereismorepainsrequiredindoingthaninsuffering;andsotheyareontheirpartalwaysatleastprovidedfornecessity，whereasonourpartitmayfalloutotherwise。Forthisreasonitwas，thatPlatowiselymadealawthatbeforemarriage，todetermineofthefitnessofpersons，thejudgesshouldseetheyoungmenwhopretendedtoitstrippedstarknaked，andthewomenbuttothegirdleonly。Whentheycometotryustheydonot，perhaps，findusworthyoftheirchoice:

"Expertalatus，madidoquesimillimaloroInguina，neclassastarecoactamanu，Deseritimbellesthalamos。"

["Afterusingeveryendeavourtoarousehimtoaction，shequitsthebarrencouch。"——Martial，vii。58。]

’Tisnotenoughthataman’swillbegood;weaknessandinsufficiencylawfullybreakamarriage，"Etquaerendumaliundeforetnervosiusillud，Quodpossetzonamsolverevirgineam:"

["Andseeksamorevigorouslovertoundohervirginzone。"

——Catullus，lxvii。27。]

whynot？andaccordingtoherownstandard，anamorousintelligence，morelicentiousandactive，"Siblandonequeatsuperesselabori。"

["Ifhisstrengthbeunequaltothepleasanttask。"

——Virgil，Georg。，iii。127。]

Butisitnotgreatimpudencetoofferourimperfectionsandimbecilities，wherewedesiretopleaseandleaveagoodopinionandesteemofourselves？ForthelittlethatIamabletodonow:

"AdunumMollisopus。"

["Fitbutforonce。"——Horace，Epod。，xii。15。]

Iwouldnottroubleawoman，thatIamtoreverenceandfear:

"Fugesuspicari，CujusundenumtrepidavitaetasClauderelustrum。"

["Fearnothimwhoseeleventhlustrumisclosed。"

——Horace，Od。，ii。4，12，limitsittotheeighth。]

Natureshouldsatisfyherselfinhavingrenderedthisagemiserable，withoutrenderingitridiculoustoo。Ihatetoseeit，foronepoorinchofpitifulvigourwhichcomesuponitbutthriceaweek，tostrutandsetitselfoutwithasmucheagernessasifitcoulddomightyfeats;atrueflameofflax;andlaughtoseeitsoboilandbubbleandtheninamomentsocongealedandextinguished。Thisappetiteoughttoappertainonlytotheflowerofbeautifulyouth:trustnottoitssecondingthatindefatigable，full，constant，magnanimousardouryouthinkinyou，foritwillcertainlyleaveyouinaprettycorner;butrathertransferittosometender，bashful，andignorantboy，whoyettremblesattherod，andblushes:

"IndumsanguineovelutiviolaveritostroSiquisebur，velmistarubentubililiamultaAlbarosa。"

["AsIndianivorystreakedwithcrimson，orwhiteliliesmixedwiththedamaskrose。"——AEneid，xii。67。]

Whocanstaytillthemorningwithoutdyingforshametobeholdthedisdainofthefaireyesofherwhoknowssowellhisfumblingimpertinence，"Ettacitifeceretamenconviciavultus，"

["Thoughshenothingsay，herlooksbetrayheranger。"

——Ovid，Amor。，i。7，21。]

hasneverhadthesatisfactionandthegloryofhavingcudgelledthemtilltheywereweary，withthevigorousperformanceofoneheroicnight。

WhenIhaveobservedanyonetobevexedwithme，Ihavenotpresentlyaccusedherlevity，buthavebeenindoubt，ifIhadnotreasonrathertocomplainofnature;shehasdoubtlessusedmeveryuncivillyandunkindly:

"Sinonlongasatis，sinonbenementulacrassaNimirumsapiunt，videntqueparvamMatronaequoquementulamillibenter:"

[ThefirstoftheseversesisthecommencementofanepigramoftheVeterumPoetayurraCatalecta，andthetwoothersarefromanepigraminthesamecollection（AdMatrones）。TheydescribeuntranslatablyMontaigne’schargeagainstnature，indicatedinthepreviouspassage。]

anddonemeamostenormousinjury。EverymemberIhave，asmuchoneasanother，isequallymyown，andnoothermoreproperlymakesmeamanthanthis。

Iuniversallyowemyentirepicturetothepublic。Thewisdomofmyinstructionconsistsinliberty，intruth，inessence:disdainingtointroducethoselittle，feigned，common，andprovincialrulesintothecatalogueofitsrealduties;allnatural，general，andconstant，ofwhichcivilityandceremonyaredaughtersindeed，butillegitimate。

Wearesuretohavethevicesofappearance，whenweshallhavehadthoseofessence:whenwehavedonewiththese，werunfulldriveupontheothers，ifwefinditmustbeso;forthereisdangerthatweshallfancynewo