第58章

Hewhodoesnotgapeafterthefavourofprinces，asafterathinghecannotlivewithout，doesnotmuchconcernhimselfatthecoldnessoftheirreceptionandcountenance，norattheinconstancyoftheirwills。

Hewhodoesnotbroodoverhischildrenorhishonourswithaslavishpropension，ceasesnottolivecommodiouslyenoughaftertheirloss。Hewhodoesgoodprincipallyforhisownsatisfactionwillnotbemuchtroubledtoseemenjudgeofhisactionscontrarytohismerit。A

quarterofanounceofpatiencewillprovidesufficientlyagainstsuchinconveniences。Ifindeaseinthisreceipt，redeemingmyselfinthebeginningasgoodcheapasIcan;andfindthatbythismeansIhaveescapedmuchtroubleandmanydifficulties。WithverylittleadoIstopthefirstsallyofmyemotions，andleavethesubjectthatbeginstobetroublesomebeforeittransportsme。Hewhostopsnotthestartwillneverbeabletostopthecourse;hewhocannotkeepthemoutwillnever，getthemoutwhentheyareoncegotin;andhewhocannotarriveatthebeginningwillneverarriveattheendofall。Norwillhebearthefallwhocannotsustaintheshock:

"Etenimipsaeseimpellunt，ubisemelarationediscessumest;

ipsaquesibiimbecillitasindulget，inaltumqueprovehiturimprudens，necreperitlocumconsistendi。"

["Fortheythrowthemselvesheadlongwhenoncetheylosetheirreason;andinfirmitysofarindulgesitself，andfromwantofprudenceiscarriedoutintodeepwater，norfindsaplacetoshelterit。"——Cicero，Tusc。Quaes。，iv。18。]

Iambetimessensibleofthelittlebreezesthatbegintosingandwhistlewithin，forerunnersofthestorm:

"CeuflaminaprimaCumdeprensafremuntsylvisetcaecavolutantMurmura，venturosnautisprodentiaventos。"

["Asthebreezes，pentinthewoods，firstsendoutdullmurmurs，announcingtheapproachofwindstomariners。"——AEneid，x。97。]

HowoftenhaveIdonemyselfamanifestinjusticetoavoidthehazardofhavingyetaworsedonemebythejudges，afteranageofvexations，dirtyandvilepractices，moreenemiestomynaturethanfireortherack？

"Convenitalitibus，quantumlicet，etnescioanpauloplusetiamquamlicet，abhorrentemesse:estenimnonmodoliberale，paululumnonnunquamdesuojuredecedere，sedinterdumetiamfructuosum。"

["Amanshouldabhorlawsuitsasmuchashemay，andIknownotwhethernotsomethingmore;for’tisnotonlyliberal，butsometimesalsoadvantageous，too，alittletorecedefromone’sright。

——"Cicero，DeOffic。，ii。18。]

Werewewise，weoughttorejoiceandboast，asIonedayheardayounggentlemanofagoodfamilyveryinnocentlydo，thathismotherhadlosthercause，asifithadbeenacough，afever，orsomethingverytroublesometokeep。Eventhefavoursthatfortunemighthavegivenmethroughrelationshiporacquaintancewiththosewhohavesovereignauthorityinthoseaffairs，Ihaveveryconscientiouslyandverycarefullyavoidedemployingthemtotheprejudiceofothers，andofadvancingmypretensionsabovetheirtrueright。Infine，Ihavesomuchprevailedbymyendeavours（andhappilyImaysayit）thatIamtothisdayavirginfromallsuitsinlaw;thoughIhavehadveryfairoffersmademe，andwithveryjusttitle，wouldIhavehearkenedtothem，andavirginfromquarrelstoo。Ihavealmostpassedoveralonglifewithoutanyoffenceofmoment，eitheractiveorpassive，orwithouteverhearingaworsewordthanmyownname:ararefavourofHeaven。

Ourgreatestagitationshaveridiculousspringsandcauses:whatruindidourlastDukeofBurgundyrunintoaboutacartloadofsheepskins！

Andwasnotthegravingofasealthefirstandprincipalcauseofthegreatestcommotionthatthismachineoftheworldeverunderwent？

——[ThecivilwarbetweenMariusandSylla;seePlutarch’sLifeofMarius，c。3。]——forPompeyandCaesarwerebuttheoffsetsandcontinuationofthetwoothers:andIhaveinmytimeseenthewisestheadsinthiskingdomassembledwithgreatceremony，andatthepublicexpense，abouttreatiesandagreements，ofwhichthetruedecision，inthemeantime，absolutelydependedupontheladies’cabinetcouncil，andtheinclinationofsomebitofawoman。

ThepoetsverywellunderstoodthiswhentheyputallGreeceandAsiatofireandswordaboutanapple。Lookwhythatmanhazardshislifeandhonouruponthefortuneofhisrapieranddagger;lethimacquaintyouwiththeoccasionofthequarrel;hecannotdoitwithoutblushing:theoccasionissoidleandfrivolous。

Alittlethingwillengageyouinit;butbeingonceembarked，allthecordsdraw;greatprovisionsarethenrequired，morehardandmoreimportant。Howmucheasierisitnottoenterinthanitistogetout。？

Nowweshouldproceedcontrarytothereed，which，atitsfirstspringing，producesalongandstraightshoot，butafterwards，asiftiredandoutofbreath，itrunsintothickandfrequentjointsandknots，assomanypauseswhichdemonstratethatithasnomoreitsfirstvigourandfirmness;’twerebettertobegingentlyandcoldly，andtokeepone’sbreathandvigorouseffortsfortheheightandstressofthebusiness。Weguideaffairsintheirbeginnings，andhavetheminourownpower;butafterwards，whentheyareonceatwork，’tistheythatguideandgovernus，andwearetofollowthem。

YetdoInotmeantosaythatthiscounselhasdischargedmeofalldifficulty，andthatIhavenotoftenhadenoughtodotocurbandrestrainmypassions;theyarenotalwaystobegovernedaccordingtothemeasureofoccasions，andoftenhavetheirentriesverysharpandviolent。Butstillgoodfruitandprofitmaythencebereaped;exceptforthosewhoinwell—doingarenotsatisfiedwithanybenefit，ifreputationbewanting;for，intruth，suchaneffectisnotvaluedbutbyeveryonetohimself;youarebettercontented，butnotmoreesteemed，seeingyoureformedyourselfbeforeyougotintothewhirlofthedance，orthattheprovocativematterwasinsight。Yetnotinthisonly，butinallotherdutiesoflifealso，thewayofthosewhoaimathonourisverydifferentfromthattheyproceedby，whoproposetothemselvesorderandreason。Ifindsomewhorashlyandfuriouslyrushintothelistsandcoolinthecourse。AsPlutarchsays，thatthosewho，throughfalseshame，aresoftandfaciletograntwhateverisdesiredofthem，areafterwardsasfaciletobreaktheirwordandtorecant;sohewhoenterslightlyintoaquarrelisapttogoaslightlyoutofit。Thesamedifficultythatkeepsmefromenteringintoit，would，whenoncehotandengagedinquarrel，incitemetomaintainitwithgreatobstinacyandresolution。’Tisthetyrannyofcustom;whenamanisonceengaged;hemustgothroughwithit，ordie。"Undertakecoolly，"saidBias，"butpursuewithardour。"Forwantofprudence，menfallintowantofcourage，whichisstillmoreintolerable。

Mostaccommodationsofthequarrelsofthesedaysofoursareshamefulandfalse;weonlyseektosaveappearances，andinthemeantimebetrayanddisavowourtrueintentions;wesalveoverthefact。Weknowverywellhowwesaidthething，andinwhatsensewespokeit，andthecompanyknowit，andourfriendswhomwehavewishedtomakesensibleofouradvantage，understanditwellenoughtoo:’tisattheexpenseofourfranknessandofthehonourofourcourage，thatwedisownourthoughts，andseekrefugeinfalsities，tomakemattersup。Wegiveourselvesthelie，toexcusetheliewehavegiventoanother。Youarenottoconsiderifyourwordoractionmayadmitofanotherinterpretation;’tisyourowntrueandsincereinterpretation，yourrealmeaninginwhatyousaidordid，thatyouarethenceforwardtomaintain，whateveritcostyou。Menspeaktoyourvirtueandconscience，whicharenotthingstobeputunderamask;letusleavethesepitifulwaysandexpedientstothejugglersofthelaw。TheexcusesandreparationsthatIseeeverydaymadeandgiventorepairindiscretion，seemtomemorescandalousthantheindiscretionitself。Itwerebettertoaffrontyouradversaryasecondtimethantooffendyourselfbygivinghimsounmanlyasatisfaction。Youhavebravedhiminyourheatandanger，andyouwouldflatterandappeasehiminyourcoolerandbettersense;andbythatmeanslayyourselflowerandathisfeet，whombeforeyoupretendedtoovertop。Idonotfindanythingagentlemancansaysoviciousinhimasunsayingwhathehassaidisinfamous，whentounsayitisauthoritativelyextractedfromhim;

forasmuchasobstinacyismoreexcusableinamanofhonourthanpusillanimity。Passionsareaseasyformetoevade，astheyarehardformetomoderate:

"Exscindunturfaciliusammo，quamtemperantur。"

["Theyaremoreeasilytobeeradicatedthangoverned。"]

HewhocannotattainthenobleStoicalimpassibility，lethimsecurehimselfinthebosomofthispopularstolidityofmine;whattheyperformedbyvirtue，Iinuremyselftodobytemperament。Themiddleregionharboursstormsandtempests;thetwoextremes，ofphilosophersandpeasants，concurintranquillityandhappiness:

"Felix，quipotuitrerumcognoscerecausas，AtquemetusomnesetinexorabilefatumSubjecitpedibus，strepitumqueAcherontisavari！

Fortunatusetille，Deosquinovitagrestes，Panaque，Sylvanumquesenem，Nymphasquesorores！"

["Happyishewhocoulddiscoverthecausesofthings，andplaceunderhisfeetallfearsandinexorablefate，andthesoundofrapaciousAcheron:heisblestwhoknowsthecountrygods，andPan，andoldSylvanus，andthesisternymphs。"——Virgil，Georg。，ii。490。]

Thebirthsofallthingsareweakandtender;andthereforeweshouldhaveoureyesintentonbeginnings;foraswhen，initsinfancy，thedangerisnotperceived，sowhenitisgrownup，theremedyisaslittletobefound。Ihadeverydayencounteredamillionofcrosses，hardertodigestintheprogressofambition，thanithasbeenhardformetocurbthenaturalpropensionthatinclinedmetoit:

"JureperhorruiLathconspicuumtollereverticem。"

["Ieverjustlyfearedtoraisemyheadtoohigh。"

——Horace，Od。，iii。16，18。]

Allpublicactionsaresubjecttouncertainandvariousinterpretations;

fortoomanyheadsjudgeofthem。Somesayofthiscivicemploymentofmine（andIamwillingtosayawordortwoaboutit，notthatitisworthsomuch，buttogiveanaccountofmymannersinsuchthings），thatIhavebehavedmyselfinitasamanwhoistoosupineandofalanguidtemperament;andtheyhavesomecolourforwhattheysay。Iendeavouredtokeepmymindandmythoughtsinrepose;

"Cumsempernatura，tumetiamaetatejamquietus;"

["Asbeingalwaysquietbynature，soalsonowbyage。"

——Cicero，DePetit。Consul。，c。2。]

andiftheysometimeslashoutuponsomerudeandsensibleimpression，’tisintruthwithoutmyadvice。Yetfromthisnaturalheavinessofmine，menoughtnottoconcludeatotalinabilityinme（forwantofcareandwantofsensearetwoverydifferentthings），andmuchlessanyunkindnessoringratitudetowardsthatcorporationwhoemployedtheutmostmeanstheyhadintheirpowertoobligeme，bothbeforetheyknewmeandafter;andtheydidmuchmoreformeinchoosingmeanewthaninconferringthathonouruponmeatfirst。Iwishthemallimaginablegood;andassuredlyhadoccasionbeen，thereisnothingIwouldhavesparedfortheirservice;IdidforthemasIwouldhavedoneformyself。

’Tisagood，warlike，andgenerouspeople，butcapableofobedienceanddiscipline，andofwhomthebestusemaybemade，ifwellguided。Theysayalsothatmyadministrationpassedoverwithoutleavinganymarkortrace。Good！Theymoreoveraccusemycessationinatimewheneverybodyalmostwasconvictedofdoingtoomuch。Iamimpatienttobedoingwheremywillspursmeon;butthisitselfisanenemytoperseverance。Lethimwhowillmakeuseofmeaccordingtomyownway，employmeinaffairswherevigourandlibertyarerequired，whereadirect，short，and，moreover，ahazardousconductarenecessary;Imaydosomething;butifitmustbelong，subtle，laborious，artificialandintricate，hehadbettercallinsomebodyelse。Allimportantofficesarenotnecessarilydifficult:Icamepreparedtodosomewhatrougherwork，hadtherebeengreatocc