第63章

IamobligedtoFortuneforhavingsooftenassaultedmewiththesamesortofweapons:sheformsandfashionsmebyuse，hardensandhabituatesme，sothatIcanknowwithinalittleforhowmuchIshallbequit。Forwantofnaturalmemory，Imakeoneofpaper;andasanynewsymptomhappensinmydisease，Isetitdown，whenceitfallsoutthat，havingnowalmostpassedthroughallsortsofexamples，ifanythingstrikingthreatensme，turningovertheselittleloosenotes，astheSybillineleaves，Ineverfailoffindingmatterofconsolationfromsomefavourableprognosticinmypastexperience。Customalsomakesmehopebetterforthetimetocome;for，theconductofthisclearingouthavingsolongcontinued，’tistobebelievedthatnaturewillnotalterhercourse，andthatnootherworseaccidentwillhappenthanwhatIalreadyfeel。Andbesides，theconditionofthisdiseaseisnotunsuitabletomypromptandsuddencomplexion:whenitassaultsmegently，Iamafraid，for’tisthenforagreatwhile;butithas，naturally，briskandvigorousexcesses;itclawsmetopurposeforadayortwo。Mykidneysheldoutanagewithoutalteration;andIhavealmostnowlivedanother，sincetheychangedtheirstate;evilshavetheirperiods，aswellasbenefits:peradventure，theinfirmitydrawstowardsanend。Ageweakenstheheatofmystomach，and，itsdigestionbeinglessperfect，sendsthiscrudemattertomykidneys;why，atacertainrevolution，maynottheheatofmykidneysbealsoabated，sothattheycannomorepetrifymyphlegm，andnaturefindoutsomeotherwayofpurgation。Yearshaveevidentlyhelpedmetodraincertainrheums;andwhynottheseexcrementswhichfurnishmatterforgravel？Butisthereanythingdelightfulincomparisonofthissuddenchange，whenfromanexcessivepain，Icome，bythevoidingofastone，torecover，asbyaflashoflightning，thebeautifullightofhealth，sofreeandfull，asithappensinoursuddenandsharpestcolics？Isthereanythinginthepainsuffered，thatonecancounterpoisetothepleasureofsosuddenanamendment？Oh，howmuchdoeshealthseemthemorepleasanttome，afterasicknesssonearandsocontiguous，thatIcandistinguishtheminthepresenceofoneanother，intheirgreatestshow;whentheyappearinemulation，asiftomakeheadagainstanddisputeitwithoneanother！AstheStoicssaythatvicesareprofitablyintroducedtogivevaluetoandtosetoffvirtue，wecan，withbetterreasonandlesstemerityofconjecture，saythatnaturehasgivenuspainforthehonourandserviceofpleasureandindolence。WhenSocrates，afterhisfetterswereknockedoff，feltthepleasureofthatitchingwhichtheweightofthemhadcausedinhislegs，herejoicedtoconsiderthestrictalliancebetwixtpainandpleasure;howtheyarelinkedtogetherbyanecessaryconnection，sothatbyturnstheyfollowandmutuallybegetoneanother;andcriedouttogoodAEsop，thatheoughtoutofthisconsiderationtohavetakenmatterforafinefable。

TheworstthatIseeinotherdiseasesis，thattheyarenotsogrievousintheireffectastheyareintheirissue:amanisawholeyearinrecovering，andallthewhilefullofweaknessandfear。Thereissomuchhazard，andsomanystepstoarriveatsafety，thatthereisnoendon’tbeforetheyhaveunmuffledyouofakerchief，andthenofacap，beforetheyallowyoutowalkabroadandtaketheair，todrinkwine，toliewithyourwife，toeatmelons，’tisoddsyourelapseintosomenewdistemper。Thestonehasthisprivilege，thatitcarriesitselfcleanoff:whereastheothermaladiesalwaysleavebehindthemsomeimpressionandalterationthatrenderthebodysubjecttoanewdisease，andlendahandtooneanother。Thoseareexcusablethatcontentthemselveswithpossessingus，withoutextendingfartherandintroducingtheirfollowers;

butcourteousandkindarethosewhosepassagebringsusanyprofitableissue。SinceIhavebeentroubledwiththestone，Ifindmyselffreedfromallotheraccidents，muchmore，methinks，thanIwasbefore，andhaveneverhadanyfeversince;IarguethattheextremeandfrequentvomitingsthatIamsubjecttopurgeme:and，ontheotherhand，mydistastesforthisandthat，andthestrangefastsIamforcedtokeep，digestmypeccanthumours，andnature，withthosestones，voidswhateverthereisinmesuperfluousandhurtful。Letthemnevertellmethatitisamedicinetoodearbought:forwhatavailsomanystinkingdraughts，somanycaustics，incisions，sweats，setons，diets，andsomanyothermethodsofcure，whichoften，byreasonwearenotabletoundergotheirviolenceandimportunity，bringustoourgraves？SothatwhenIhavethestone，Ilookuponitasphysic;whenfreefromit，asanabsolutedeliverance。

Andhereisanotherparticularbenefitofmydisease;whichis，thatitalmostplaysitsgamebyitself，andlets’meplaymine，ifIhaveonlycouragetodoit;for，initsgreatestfury，Ihaveenduredittenhourstogetheronhorseback。Dobutendureonly;youneednootherregimenplay，run，dine，dothisandt’other，ifyoucan;yourdebauchwilldoyoumoregoodthanharm;sayasmuchtoonethathasthepox，thegout，orhernia！Theotherdiseaseshavemoreuniversalobligations;rackouractionsafteranotherkindofmanner，disturbourwholeorder，andtotheirconsiderationengagethewholestateoflife:thisonlypinchestheskin;itleavestheunderstandingandthewillwhollyatourowndisposal，andthetongue，thehands，andthefeet;itratherawakensthanstupefiesyou。Thesoulisstruckwiththeardourofafever，overwhelmedwithanepilepsy，anddisplacedbyasharpmegrim，and，inshort，astoundedbyallthediseasesthathurtthewholemassandthemostnobleparts;thisnevermeddleswiththesoul;ifanythinggoesamisswithher，’tisherownfault;shebetrays，dismounts，andabandonsherself。Therearenonebutfoolswhosufferthemselvestobepersuadedthatthishardandmassivebodywhichisbakedinourkidneysistobedissolvedbydrinks;wherefore，whenitisoncestirred，thereisnothingtobedonebuttogiveitpassage;and，forthatmatter，itwillitselfmakeone。

Imoreoverobservethisparticularconvenienceinit，thatitisadiseasewhereinwehavelittletoguessat:wearedispensedfromthetroubleintowhichotherdiseasesthrowusbytheuncertaintyoftheircauses，conditions，andprogress;atroublethatisinfinitelypainful:

wehavenoneedofconsultationsanddoctoralinterpretations;thesenseswellenoughinformusbothwhatitisandwhereitis。

Bysuchlikearguments，weakandstrong，asCicerowiththediseaseofhisoldage，Itrytorockasleepandamusemyimagination，andtodressitswounds。IfIfindthemworsetomorrow，Iwillprovidenewstratagems。

Thatthisistrue:Iamcometothatpassoflate，thattheleastmotionforcespurebloodoutofmykidneys:whatofthat？Imoveabout，nevertheless，asbefore，andrideaftermyhoundswithajuvenileandinsolentardour;andholdthatIhaveverygoodsatisfactionforanaccidentofthatimportance，whenitcostsmenomorebutadullheavinessanduneasinessinthatpart;’tissomegreatstonethatwastesandconsumesthesubstanceofmykidneysandmylife，whichIbylittleandlittleevacuate，notwithoutsomenaturalpleasure，asanexcrementhenceforwardsuperfluousandtroublesome。NowifIfeelanythingstirring，donotfancythatItroublemyselftoconsultmypulseormyurine，therebytoputmyselfuponsomeannoyingprevention;Ishallsoonenoughfeelthepain，withoutmakingitmoreandlongerbythediseaseoffear。Hewhofearsheshallsuffer，alreadysufferswhathefears。Towhichmaybeaddedthatthedoubtsandignoranceofthosewhotakeuponthemtoexpoundthedesignsofnatureandherinternalprogressions，andthemanyfalseprognosticsoftheirart，oughttogiveustounderstandthatherwaysareinscrutableandutterlyunknown;thereisgreatuncertainty，variety，andobscurityinwhatsheeitherpromisesorthreatens。Oldageexcepted，whichisanindubitablesignoftheapproachofdeath，inallotheraccidentsIseefewsignsofthefuture，whereonwemaygroundourdivination。Ionlyjudgeofmyselfbyactualsensation，notbyreasoning:towhatend，sinceIamresolvedtobringnothingtoitbutexpectationandpatience？WillyouknowhowmuchIgetbythis？observethosewhodootherwise，andwhorelyuponsomanydiversepersuasionsandcounsels;howoftentheimaginationpressesuponthemwithoutanybodilypain。Ihavemanytimesamusedmyself，beingwellandinsafety，andquitefreefromthesedangerousattacksincommunicatingthemtothephysiciansasthenbeginningtodiscoverthemselvesinme;Iunderwentthedecreeoftheirdreadfulconclusions，beingallthewhilequiteatmyease，andsomuchthemoreobligedtothefavourofGodandbettersatisfiedofthevanityofthisart。

Thereisnothingthatoughtsomuchtoberecommendedtoyouthasactivityandvigilanceourlifeisnothingbutmovement。Ibestirmyselfwithgreatdifficulty，andamslowineverything，whetherinrising，goingtobed，oreating:sevenoftheclockinthemorningisearlyforme，andwhereIrule，Ineverdinebeforeeleven，norsuptillaftersix。

IformerlyattributedthecauseofthefeversandotherdiseasesIfellintototheheavinessthatlongsleepinghadbroughtuponme，andhaveeverrepentedgoingtosleepagaininthemorning。Platoismoreangryatexcessofsleepingthanatexcessofdrinking。Ilovetoliehardandalone，evenwithoutmywife，askingsdo;prettywellcoveredwithclothes。Theyneverwarmmybed，butsinceIhavegrownoldtheygivemeatneedclothstolaytomyfeetandstomach。TheyfoundfaultwiththegreatScipiothathewasagreatsleeper;not，inmyopinion，foranyotherreasonthanthatmenweredispleasedthathealoneshouldhavenothinginhimtobefoundfaultwith。IfIamanythingfastidiousinmywayofliving’tisratherinmylyingthananythingelse;butgenerallyIgivewayandaccommodatemyselfaswellasanyonetonecessity。

Sleepinghastakenupagreatpartofmylife，andIyetcontinue，attheageInowam，tosleepeightorninehoursatonebreath。Iweanmyselfwithutilityfromthispronenesstosloth，andamevidentlythebetterforsodoing。Ifindthechangealittlehardindeed，butinthreedays’tisover;andIseebutfewwholivewithlesssleep，whenneedrequires，andwhomoreconstantlyexercisethemselves，ortowhomlongjourneysarelesstroublesome。Mybodyiscapableofafirm，butnotofaviolentorsuddenagitation。Iescapeoflatefromviolentexercises，andsuchasmakemesweat:mylimbsgrowwearybeforetheyarewarm。

Icanstandawholedaytogether，andamneverwearyofwalking;butfrommyyouthIhaveeverpreferredtorideuponpavedroads;onfoot，Igetuptothehaun