第27章

NeitherdoIallowoftheconjectureoftheParians，senttoregulatetheMilesianssufficientforsuchaconsequenceastheyfromthencederivedcomingtovisittheisland，theytooknoticeofsuchgroundsaswerebesthusbanded，andsuchcountry—housesaswerebestgoverned;andhavingtakenthenamesoftheowners，whentheyhadassembledthecitizens，theyappointedthesefarmersfornewgovernorsandmagistrates;concludingthatthey，whohadbeensoprovidentintheirownprivateconcerns，wouldbesoofthepublictoo。Wearealllumps，andofsovariousandinformacontexture，thateverypieceplays，everymoment，itsowngame，andthereisasmuchdifferencebetwixtusandourselvesasbetwixtusandothers:

"Magnamremputa，unumhominemagere。"

["Esteemitagreatthingalwaystoactasoneandthesameman。"——Seneca，Ep。，150。]

Sinceambitioncanteachmanvalour，temperance，andliberality，andevenjusticetoo;seeingthatavaricecaninspirethecourageofashop—boy，bredandnursedupinobscurityandease，withtheassurancetoexposehimselfsofarfromthefiresidetothemercyofthewavesandangryNeptuneinafrailboat;thatshefurtherteachesdiscretionandprudence;andthatevenVenuscaninflateboysunderthedisciplineoftherodwithboldnessandresolution，andinfusemasculinecourageintotheheartoftendervirginsintheirmothers’arms:

"Hacduce，custodesfurtimtransgressajacentes，Adjuvenemtenebrissolapuellavenit:"

["Sheleading，themaiden，furtivelypassingbytherecumbentguards，goesaloneinthedarknesstotheyouth。"

——Tibullus，ii。2，75。]

’tisnotalltheunderstandinghastodo，simplytojudgeusbyouroutwardactions;itmustpenetratetheverysoul，andtherediscoverbywhatspringsthemotionisguided。Butthatbeingahighandhazardousundertaking，Icouldwishthatfewerwouldattemptit。

CHAPTERII

OFDRUNKENNESS

Theworldisnothingbutvarietyanddisemblance，vicesareallalike，astheyarevices，andperadventuretheStoicsunderstandthemso;butalthoughtheyareequallyvices，yettheyarenotallequalvices;andhewhohastransgressedtheordinaryboundsahundredpaces:

"Quosultracitraquenequitconsistererectum，"

["Beyondorwithinwhichtherightcannotexist。"

——Horace，Sat。，i，1，107。]

shouldnotbeinaworseconditionthanhethathasadvancedbutten，isnottobebelieved;orthatsacrilegeisnotworsethanstealingacabbage:

"Necvincetratiohoc，tantumdemutpeccet，idemque，Quiteneroscaulesalienifregerithorti，Etquinocturnusdivumsacralegerit。"

Thereisinthisasgreatdiversityasinanythingwhatever。Theconfoundingoftheorderandmeasureofsinsisdangerous:murderers，traitors，andtyrantsgettoomuchbyit，anditisnotreasonabletheyshouldflattertheirconsciences，becauseanothermanisidle，lascivious，ornotassiduousathisdevotion。Everyoneoverratestheoffenceofhiscompanions，butextenuateshisown。Ourveryinstructorsthemselvesrankthemsometimes，inmyopinion，veryill。AsSocratessaidthattheprincipalofficeofwisdomwastodistinguishgoodfromevil，we，thebestofwhomarevicious，oughtalsotosaythesameofthescienceofdistinguishingbetwixtviceandvice，withoutwhich，andthatveryexactlyperformed，thevirtuousandthewickedwillremainconfoundedandunrecognised。

Now，amongsttherest，drunkennessseemstometobeagrossandbrutishvice。Thesoulhasgreaterpartintherest，andtherearesomevicesthathavesomething，ifamanmaysosay，ofgenerousinthem;thereareviceswhereinthereisamixtureofknowledge，diligence，valour，prudence，dexterity，andaddress;thisoneistotallycorporealandearthly。AndtherudestnationthisdayinEuropeisthatalonewhereitisinfashion。Othervicesdiscomposetheunderstanding:thistotallyoverthrowsitandrendersthebodystupid:

"Cumvinivispenetravit……

Consequiturgravitasmembrorum，praepediunturCruravacillanti，tardescitlingua，madetmens，Nantoculi;clamor，singultus，jurgia，gliscunt。"

["Whenthepowerofwinehaspenetratedus，aheavinessofthelimbsfollows，thelegsofthetotteringpersonareimpeded;thetonguegrowstorpid，themindisdimmed，theeyesswim;noise，hiccup，andquarrelsarise。——"Lucretius，i。3，475。]

Theworststateofmanisthatwhereinhelosestheknowledgeandgovernmentofhimself。And’tissaidamongstotherthingsuponthissubject，that，asthemustfermentinginavessel，worksuptothetopwhateverithasinthebottom，sowine，inthosewhohavedrunkbeyondmeasure，ventsthemostinwardsecrets:

"TusapientumCurasetarcanumjocosoConsiliumretegisLyaeo。"

["ThoudisclosesttothemerryLyacusthecaresandsecretcounselofthewise。"——Horace，Od。，xxi。1，114。]

[Lyacus，anamegiventoBacchus。]

Josephustellsusthatbygivinganambassadortheenemyhadsenttohimhisfulldoseofliquor，hewormedouthissecrets。Andyet，Augustus，committingthemostinwardsecretsofhisaffairstoLuciusPiso，whoconqueredThrace，neverfoundhimfaultyintheleast，nomorethanTiberiasdidCossus，withwhomheintrustedhiswholecounsels，thoughweknowtheywerebothsogiventodrinkthattheyhaveoftenbeenfaintocarryboththeoneandtheotherdrunkoutoftheSenate:

"Hesternoinflatumvenasutsemper，Lyaeo。"

["Theirveinsfull，asusual，ofyesterday’swine。"

——Virgil，Egl。，vi。15。]

AndthedesignofkillingCaesarwasassafelycommunicatedtoCimber，thoughhewouldoftenbedrunk，astoCassius，whodranknothingbutwater。

[AstowhichCassiuspleasantlysaid:"What，shallIbearatyrant，Iwhocannotbearwine？"]

WeseeourGermans，whendrunkasthedevil，knowtheirpost，remembertheword，andkeeptotheirranks:

"Necfacilisvictoriademadidis，etBlaesis，atquemerotitubantibus。"

["Norisavictoryeasilyobtainedovermensodrunk，theycanscarcespeakorstand。"——Juvenal，Sat。，xv。47。]

Icouldnothavebelievedtherehadbeensoprofound，senseless，anddeadadegreeofdrunkennesshadInotreadinhistorythatAttalushaving，toputanotableaffrontuponhim，invitedtosupperthesamePausanias，whoupontheverysameoccasionafterwardskilledPhilipofMacedon，akingwhobyhisexcellentqualitiesgavesufficienttestimonyofhiseducationinthehouseandcompanyofEpaminondas，madehimdrinktosuchapitchthathecouldafterabandonhisbeauty，asofahedgestrumpet，tothemuleteersandservantsofthebasestofficeinthehouse。AndI

havebeenfurthertoldbyaladywhomIhighlyhonourandesteem，thatnearBordeauxandaboutCastreswhereshelives，acountrywoman，awidowofchasterepute，perceivinginherselfthefirstsymptomsofbreeding，innocentlytoldherneighboursthatifshehadahusbandsheshouldthinkherselfwithchild;butthecausesofsuspicioneverydaymoreandmoreincreasing，andatlastgrowinguptoamanifestproof，thepoorwomanwasreducedtothenecessityofcausingittobeproclaimedinherparishchurch，thatwhoeverhaddonethatdeedandwouldfranklyconfessit，shedidnotonlypromisetoforgive，butmoreovertomarryhim，ifhelikedthemotion;whereuponayoungfellowthatservedherinthequalityofalabourer，encouragedbythisproclamation，declaredthathehadoneholidayfoundher，havingtakentoomuchofthebottle，sofastasleepbythechimneyandinsoindecentaposture，thathecouldconvenientlydohisbusinesswithoutwakingher;andtheyyetlivetogethermanandwife。

Itistruethatantiquityhasnotmuchdecriedthisvice;thewritingsevenofseveralphilosophersspeakverytenderlyofit，andevenamongsttheStoicstherearesomewhoadvisefolkstogivethemselvessometimesthelibertytodrink，nay，todrunkenness，torefreshthesoul:

"Hocquoquevirtutumquondamcertamine，magnumSocratempalmampromeruisseferunt。"

["InthistrialofpowerformerlytheyrelatethatthegreatSocratesdeservedthepalm。"——Cornet。Gallus，Ep。，i。47。]

Thatcensorandreproverofothers，Cato，wasreproachedthathewasaharddrinker:

NarraturetprisciCatonisSaepemerocaluissevirtus。"

["AndofoldCatoitissaid，thathiscouragewasoftenwarmedwithwine。"——Horace，Od。，xxi。3，11。——CatotheElder。]

Cyrus，thatsorenownedking，amongsttheotherqualitiesbywhichheclaimedtobepreferredbeforehisbrotherArtaxerxes，urgedthisexcellence，thathecoulddrinkagreatdealmorethanhe。Andinthebestgovernednationsthistrialofskillindrinkingisverymuchinuse。IhaveheardSilvius，anexcellentphysicianofParis，saythatlestthedigestivefacultiesofthestomachshouldgrowidle，itwerenotamissonceamonthtorousethembythisexcess，andtospurthemlesttheyshouldgrowdullandrusty;andoneauthortellsusthatthePersiansusedtoconsultabouttheirmostimportantaffairsafterbeingwellwarmedwithwine。

Mytasteandconstitutionaregreaterenemiestothisvicethanmydiscourse;forbesidesthatIeasilysubmitmybelieftotheauthorityofancientopinions，Ilookuponitindeedasanunmanlyandstupidvice，butlessmaliciousandhurtfulthantheothers，which，almostall，moredirectlyjostlepublicsociety。Andifwecannotpleaseourselvesbutitmustcostussomething，astheyhold，Ifindthisvicecostsaman’sconsciencelessthantheothers，besidesthatitisofnodifficultpreparation，norhardtobefound，aconsiderationnotaltogethertobedespised。Amanwelladvancedbothindignityandage，amongstthreeprincipalcommoditiesthathesaidremainedtohimoflife，reckonedtomethisforone，andwherewouldamanmorejustlyfinditthanamongstthenaturalconveniences？Buthedidnottakeitright，fordelicacyandthecuriouschoiceofwinesisthereintobeavoided。Ifyoufoundyourpleasureupondrinkingofthebest，youcondemnyourselftothepenanceofdrinkingoftheworst。Yourtastemustbemoreindifferentandfree;

sodelicateapalateisnotrequiredtomakeagoodtoper。TheGermansdrinkalmostindifferentlyofallwineswithdelight;theirbusinessistopourdownandnottotaste;andit’ssomuchthebetterforthem:

theirpleasureissomuchthemoreplentifulandnearerathand。

Secondly，todrink，aftertheFrenchfashion，butattwomeals，andthenverymoderately，istobetoosparingofthefavoursofthegod。Thereismoretimeandconstancyrequiredthanso。Theancientsspentwholenightsinthisexercise，andofttimesaddedthedayfollowingtoekeitout，andthereforewearetotakegreaterlibertyandstickclosertoourwork。Ihaveseenagreatlordofmytime，amanofhighenterpriseandfamoussuccess，thatwithoutsettinghimselfto’t，andafterhisordinaryrateofdrinkingatmeals，dranknotmuchlessthanfivequartsofwine，andathisgoingawayappearedbuttoowiseanddiscreet，tothedetrimentofouraffairs。Thepleasureweholdinesteemforthecourseofourlivesoughttohaveagreatershareofourtimededicatedtoit;

weshould，likeshopboysandlabourers，refusenooccasionnoromitanyopportunityofdrinking，andalwayshaveitinourminds。Methinksweeverydayabridgeandcurtailtheuseofwine，andthattheafterbreakfasts，dinnersnatches，andcollationsIusedtoseeinmyfather’shouse，whenIwasaboy，weremoreusualandfrequentthenthannow。

Isitthatwepretendtoareformation？Truly，no:butitmaybewearemoreaddictedtoVenusthanourfatherswere。Theyaretwoexercisesthatthwartandhinderoneanotherintheirvigour。Lecheryweakensourstomachontheoneside;andontheothersobrietyrendersusmorespruceandamorousfortheexerciseoflove。

’TiswonderfulwhatstrangestoriesIhaveheardmyfathertellofthechastityofthatagewhereinhelived。Itwasforhimtosayit，beingbothbyartandnaturecutoutandfinishedfortheserviceofladies。

Hespokewellandlittle:evermixinghislanguagewithsomeillustrationoutofauthorsmostinuse，especiallyinSpanish，andamongtheSpanishhewhomth