第48章

["Ifnobilitybevirtue，itlosesitsqualityinallthingswhereinnotvirtuous:andifitbenotvirtue，’tisasmallmatter。"

——LaByuyere。]

’tisavirtue，ifitbeone，thatisartificialandapparent，dependingupontimeandfortune:variousinform，accordingtothecountry;livingandmortal;withoutbirth，astheriverNile;genealogicalandcommon;，ofsuccessionandsimilitude;drawnbyconsequence，andaveryweakone。

Knowledge，strength，goodness，beauty，riches，andallotherqualities，fallintocommunicationandcommerce，butthisisconsummatedinitself，andofnousetotheserviceofothers。Therewasproposedtooneofourkingsthechoiceoftwocandidatesforthesamecommand，ofwhomonewasagentleman，theothernot;heorderedthat，withoutrespecttoquality，theyshouldchoosehimwhohadthemostmerit;butwheretheworthofthecompetitorsshouldappeartobeentirelyequal，theyshouldhaverespecttobirth:thiswasjustlytogiveititsrank。Ayoungmanunknown，comingtoAntigonustomakesuitforhisfather’scommand，avaliantmanlatelydead:"Friend，"saidhe，"insuchprefermentsasthese，Ihavenotsomuchregardtothenobilityofmysoldiersastotheirprowess。"

And，indeed，itoughtnottogoasitdidwiththeofficersofthekingsofSparta，trumpeters，fiddlers，cooks，thechildrenofwhomalwayssucceededtotheirplaces，howignorantsoever，andwerepreferredbeforethemostexperiencedinthetrade。TheyofCalicutmakeofnoblesasortofsuperhumanpersons:theyareinterdictedmarriageandallbutwarlikeemployments:theymayhaveofconcubinestheirfill，andthewomenasmanylovers，withoutbeingjealousofoneanother;but’tisacapitalandirremissiblecrimetocouplewithapersonofmeanerconditionsthanthemselves;andtheythinkthemselvespolluted，iftheyhavebuttouchedoneinwalkingalong;andsupposingtheirnobilitytobemarvellouslyinterestedandinjuredinit，killsuchasonlyapproachalittletoonearthem:insomuchthattheignobleareobligedtocryoutastheywalk，likethegondoliersofVenice，attheturningsofstreetsforfearofjostling;andthenoblescommandthemtostepasidetowhatparttheyplease:bythatmeanstheseavoidwhattheyreputeaperpetualignominy，thosecertaindeath。Notime，nofavouroftheprince，nooffice，orvirtue，orriches，caneverprevailtomakeaplebeianbecomenoble:towhichthiscustomcontributes，thatmarriagesareinterdictedbetwixtdifferenttrades;thedaughterofoneofthecordwainers’gildisnotpermittedtomarryacarpenter;andparentsareobligedtotrainuptheirchildrenpreciselyintheirowncallings，andnotputthemtoanyothertrade;bywhichmeansthedistinctionandcontinuanceoftheirfortunesaremaintained。

Agoodmarriage，iftherebeanysuch，rejectsthecompanyandconditionsoflove，andtriestorepresentthoseoffriendship。’Tisasweetsocietyoflife，fullofconstancy，trust，andaninfinitenumberofusefulandsolidservicesandmutualobligations;whichanywomanwhohasarighttaste:

"Optatoquamjunxitluminetaeda"——

["Whomthemarriagetorchhasjoinedwiththedesiredlight。"

——Catullus，lxiv。79。]

wouldbelothtoserveherhusbandinqualityofamistress。Ifshebelodgedinhisaffectionasawife，sheismorehonourablyandsecurelyplaced。Whenhepurportstobeinlovewithanother，andworksallhecantoobtainhisdesire，letanyonebutaskhim，onwhichhehadratheradisgraceshouldfall，hiswifeorhismistress，whichoftheirmisfortuneswouldmostafflicthim，andtowhichofthemhewishesthemostgrandeur，theanswertothesequestionsisoutofdisputeinasoundmarriage。

Andthatsofewareobservedtobehappy，isatokenofitspriceandvalue。Ifwellformedandrightlytaken，’tisthebestofallhumansocieties;wecannotlivewithoutit，andyetwedonothingbutdecryit。

Ithappens，aswithcages，thebirdswithoutdespairtogetin，andthosewithindespairofgettingout。Socratesbeingasked，whetheritwasmorecommodioustotakeawifeornot，"Letamantakewhichcoursehewill，"

saidhe;"hewillrepent。"’Tisacontracttowhichthecommonsaying:

"Homohominiautdeusautlupus，"

["Mantomaniseitheragodorawolf。"——Erasmus，Adag。]

mayveryfitlybeapplied;theremustbeaconcurrenceofmanyqualitiesintheconstruction。Itisfoundnowadaysmoreconvenientforsimpleandplebeiansouls，wheredelights，curiosity，andidlenessdonotsomuchdisturbit;butextravaganthumours，suchasmine，thathateallsortsofobligationandrestraint，arenotsoproperforit:

"Etmihidulcemagisresolutoviverecollo。"

["Anditissweettometolivewithaloosenedneck。"

——PseudoGallus，i。61。]

MightIhavehadmyownwill，IwouldnothavemarriedWisdomherself，ifshewouldhavehadme。But’tistomuchpurposetoevadeit;thecommoncustomandusanceoflifewillhaveitso。Themostofmyactionsareguidedbyexample，notbychoice，andyetIdidnotgotoitofmyownvoluntarymotion;Iwasledanddrawntoitbyextrinsicoccasions;fornotonlythingsthatareincommodiousinthemselves，butalsothingshoweverugly，vicious，andtobeavoided，mayberenderedacceptablebysomeconditionoraccident;sounsteadyandvainisallhumanresolution！

andIwaspersuadedtoit，whenworsepreparedandlesstractablethanI

amatpresent，thatIhavetriedwhatitis:andasgreatalibertineasIamtakentobe，Ihaveintruthmorestrictlyobservedthelawsofmarriage，thanIeitherpromisedorexpected。’Tisinvaintokick，whenamanhasonceputonhisfetters:amanmustprudentlymanagehisliberty;buthavingoncesubmittedtoobligation，hemustconfinehimselfwithinthelawsofcommonduty，atleast，dowhathecantowardsit。

Theywhoengageinthiscontract，withadesigntocarrythemselvesinitwithhatredandcontempt，doanunjustandinconvenientthing;andthefinerulethatIhearpassfromhandtohandamongstthewomen，asasacredoracle:

["Servethyhusbandasthymaster，butguardthyselfagainsthimasfromatraitor。"]

whichistosay，comportthyselftowardshimwithadissembled，inimical，anddistrustfulreverence（acryofwaranddefiance），isequallyinjuriousandhard。Iamtoomildforsuchruggeddesigns:tosaythetruth，Iamnotarrivedtothatperfectionofabilityandrefinementofwit，toconfoundreasonwithinjustice，andtolaughatallruleandorderthatdoesnotpleasemypalate;becauseIhatesuperstition，Idonotpresentlyrunintothecontraryextremeofirreligion。

（Ifamanhatesuperstitionhecannotlovereligion。D。W。）

Ifamandoesnotalwaysperformhisduty，heoughtatleasttoloveandacknowledgeit;’tistreacherytomarrywithoutespousing。

Letusproceed。

Ourpoetrepresentsamarriagehappyinagoodaccordwhereinneverthelessthereisnotmuchloyalty。Doeshemean，thatitisnotimpossiblebutawomanmaygivethereinstoherownpassion，andyieldtotheimportunitiesoflove，andyetreservesomedutytowardmarriage，andthatitmaybehurt，withoutbeingtotallybroken？Aservingmanmaycheathismaster，whomneverthelesshedoesnothate。Beauty，opportunity，anddestiny（fordestinyhasalsoahandin’t），"FatumestinpartibusillisQuassinusabscondit;nam，sitibisideracessent，Nilfacietlongimensuraincognitanervi;"

["Thereisafatalityaboutthehiddenparts:letnaturehaveendowedyouhoweverliberally，’tisofnouse，ifyourgoodstarfailsyouinthenickoftime。"——Juvenal，ix。32。]

haveattachedhertoastranger;thoughnotsowholly，peradventure，butthatshemayhavesomeremainsofkindnessforherhusband。Theyaretwodesigns，thathaveseveralpathsleadingtothem，withoutbeingconfoundedwithoneanother;awomanmayyieldtoamanshewouldbynomeanshavemarried，notonlyfortheconditionofhisfortune，butforthosealsoofhisperson。Fewmenhavemadeawifeofamistress，whohavenotrepentedit。Andevenintheotherworld，whatanunhappylifedoesJupiterleadwithhis，whomhehadfirstenjoyedasamistress！

’Tis，astheproverbruns，tobefoulabasketandthenputituponone’shead。Ihaveinmytime，inagoodfamily，seenloveshamefullyanddishonestlycuredbymarriage:theconsiderationsarewidelydifferent。

Weloveatonce，withoutanytie，twothingscontraryinthemselves。

Socrateswaswonttosay，thatthecityofAthenspleased，asladiesdowhommencourtforlove;everyonelovedtocomethithertotakeaturn，andpassawayhistime;butnoonelikeditsowellastoespouseit，thatis，toinhabitthere，andtomakeithisconstantresidence。Ihavebeenvexedtoseehusbandshatetheirwivesonlybecausetheythemselvesdothemwrong;weshouldnot，atallevents，methinks，lovethemthelessforourownfaults;theyshouldatleast，upontheaccountofrepentanceandcompassion，bedearertous。

Theyaredifferentends，hesays，andyetinsomesortcompatible;

marriagehasutility，justice，honour，andconstancyforitsshare;

aflat，butmoreuniversalpleasure:lovefoundsitselfwhollyuponpleasure，and，indeed，hasitmorefull，lively，andsharp;apleasureinflamedbydifficulty;theremustbeinitstingandsmart:’tisnolongerlove，ifwithoutdartsandfire。Thebountyofladiesistooprofuseinmarriage，anddullsthepointofaffectionanddesire:toevadewhichinconvenience，dobutobservewhatpainsLycurgusandPlatotakeintheirlaws。

Womenarenottoblameatall，whentheyrefusetherulesoflifethatareintroducedintotheworld，forasmuchasthemenmakethemwithouttheirhelp。Thereisnaturallycontentionandbrawlingbetwixtthemandus;andthestrictestfriendshipwehavewiththemisyetmixedwithtumultandtempest。Intheopinionofourauthor，wedealinconsideratelywiththeminthis:afterwehavediscoveredthattheyare，withoutcomparison，moreableandardentinthepracticeoflovethanwe，andthattheoldpriesttestifiedasmuch，whohadbeenonewhileaman，andthenawoman:

"Venushuiceratutraquenota:"

["Bothaspectsoflovewereknowntohim，"

——Tiresias。Ovid。Metam。，iii。323。]

andmoreover，thatwehavelearnedfromtheirownmouthstheproofthat，inseveralages，wasmadebyanEmperorandEmpressofRome，——[Proclus。]

——bothfamousforabilityinthataffair！forheinonenightdefloweredtenSarmatianvirginswhowerehiscaptives:butshehadfive—and—twentyboutsinonenight，changinghermanaccordingtoherneedandliking;

"AdhucardensrigidaetentiginevulvaeEtlassataviris，nondumsatiata，recessit:"

["Ardentstill，sheretired，fatigued，butnotsatisfied。"

——Juvenal，vi。128。]

andthatuponthedisputewhichhappenedinCataluna，whereinawifecomplainingofherhusband’stoofrequentaddressestoher，notsomuch，asIconceive，thatshewasincommodatedbyit（forIbelievenomiraclesoutofreligion）asunderthispretence，tocurtailandcurbinthis，whichisthefundamentalactofmarriage，theauthorityofhusbandsovertheirwives，andtoshewthattheirfrowardnessandmalignitygobeyondthenuptialbed，andspurnunderfooteventhegracesandsweetsofVenus;thehusband，amantrulybrutishandunnatural，replied，thatevenonfastingdayshecouldnotsubsistwithlessthantencourses:

whereuponcameoutthatnotablesentenceoftheQueenofArragon，bywhich，aftermaturedeliberationofhercouncil，thisgoodqueen，togivearuleandexampletoallsucceedingagesofthemoderationrequiredinajustmarriage，setdownsixtimesadayasalegitimateandnecessarystint;surrenderingandquittingagreatdealoftheneedsanddesiresofhersex，thatshemight，shesaid，establishaneasy，andconsequently，apermanentandimmutablerule。Hereuponthedoctorscryout:whatmustthefemaleappetiteandconcupiscencebe，whentheirreason，theirreformationandvirtue，aretaxedatsucharate，consideringthediversjudgmentsofourappetites？forSolon，masterofthelawschool，taxesusbutatthreeamonth，——thatmenmaynotfailinpointofconjugalfrequentation:afterhaving，Isay，believedandpreachedallthis，wegoandenjointhemcontinencyfortheirparticularshare，anduponthelastandextremepenalties。

Thereisnopassionsohardtocontendwithasthis，whichwewouldhavethemonlyresist，notsimplyasanordinaryvice，butasanexecrableabomination，worsethanirreligionandparricide;whilstwe，atthesametime，goto’twithoutoffenceorreproach。Eventhoseamongstuswhohavetriedtheexperimenthavesufficientlyconfessedwhatdifficulty，orratherimpossibility，theyhavefoundbymaterialremediestosubdue，weaken，andcoolthebody。We，onthecontrary，wouldhavethematoncesound，vigorousplump，hi