第54章

Asshedeparted，Mr。Dashwoodputuphisfeet，withthegracefulremark，“Poorandproud，asusual，butshe’lldo。“

FollowingMr。Dashwood’sdirections，andmakingMrs。Northburyhermodel，Jorashlytookaplungeintothefrothyseaofsensationalliterature，butthankstothelifepreserverthrownherbyafriend，shecameupagainnotmuchtheworseforherducking。

Likemostyoungscribblers，shewentabroadforhercharactersandscenery，andbanditti，counts，gypsies，nuns，andduchessesappeareduponherstage，andplayedtheirpartswithasmuchaccuracyandspiritascouldbeexpected。Herreaderswerenotparticularaboutsuchtriflesasgrammar，punctuation，andprobability，andMr。Dashwoodgraciouslypermittedhertofillhiscolumnsatthelowestprices，notthinkingitnecessarytotellherthattherealcauseofhishospitalitywasthefactthatoneofhishacks，onbeingofferedhigherwages，hadbaselylefthiminthelurch。

Shesoonbecameinterestedinherwork，forheremaciatedpursegrewstout，andthelittlehoardshewasmakingtotakeBethtothemountainsnextsummergrewslowlybutsurelyastheweekspassed。Onethingdisturbedhersatisfaction，andthatwasthatshedidnottellthemathome。ShehadafeelingthatFatherandMotherwouldnotapprove，andpreferredtohaveherownwayfirst，andbegpardonafterward。Itwaseasytokeephersecret，fornonameappearedwithherstories。Mr。

Dashwoodhadofcoursefounditoutverysoon，butpromisedtobedumb，andforawonderkepthisword。

Shethoughtitwoulddohernoharm，forshesincerelymeanttowritenothingofwhichshewouldbeashamed，andquietedallpricksofconsciencebyanticipationsofthehappyminutewhensheshouldshowherearningsandlaughoverherwell-keptsecret。

ButMr。Dashwoodrejectedanybutthrillingtales，andasthrillscouldnotbeproducedexceptbyharrowingupthesoulsofthereaders，historyandromance，landandsea，scienceandart，policerecordsandlunaticasylums，hadtoberansackedforthepurpose。Josoonfoundthatherinnocentexperiencehadgivenherbutfewglimpsesofthetragicworldwhichunderliessociety，soregardingitinabusinesslight，shesetaboutsupplyingherdeficiencieswithcharacteristicenergy。

Eagertofindmaterialforstories，andbentonmakingthemoriginalinplot，ifnotmasterlyinexecution，shesearchednewspapersforaccidents，incidents，andcrimes。Sheexcitedthesuspicionsofpubliclibrariansbyaskingforworksonpoisons。Shestudiedfacesinthestreet，andcharacters，good，bad，andindifferent，allabouther。Shedelvedinthedustofancienttimesforfactsorfictionssooldthattheywereasgoodasnew，andintroducedherselftofolly，sin，andmisery，aswellasherlimitedopportunitiesallowed。Shethoughtshewasprosperingfinely，butunconsciouslyshewasbeginningtodesecratesomeofthewomanliestattributesofawoman’scharacter。Shewaslivinginbadsociety，andimaginarythoughitwas，itsinfluenceaffectedher，forshewasfeedingheartandfancyondangerousandunsubstantialfood，andwasfastbrushingtheinnocentbloomfromhernaturebyaprematureacquaintancewiththedarkersideoflife，whichcomessoonenoughtoallofus。

Shewasbeginningtofeelratherthanseethis，formuchdescribingofotherpeople’spassionsandfeelingssethertostudyingandspeculatingaboutherown。amorbidamusementinwhichhealthyyoungmindsdonotvoluntarilyindulge。

Wrongdoingalwaysbringsitsownpunishment，andwhenJomostneededhers，shegotit。

Idon’tknowwhetherthestudyofShakespearehelpedhertoreadcharacter，orthenaturalinstinctofawomanforwhatwashonest，brave，andstrong，butwhileendowingherimaginaryheroeswitheveryperfectionunderthesun，Jowasdiscoveringalivehero，whointerestedherinspiteofmanyhumanimperfections。

Mr。Bhaer，inoneoftheirconversations，hadadvisedhertostudysimple，true，andlovelycharacters，wherevershefoundthem，asgoodtrainingforawriter。Jotookhimathisword，forshecoollyturnedroundandstudiedhim——aproceedingwhichwouldhavemuchsurprisedhim，hadheknowit，fortheworthyProfessorwasveryhumbleinhisownconceit。

WhyeverybodylikedhimwaswhatpuzzledJo，atfirst。Hewasneitherrichnorgreat，youngnorhandsome，innorespectwhatiscalledfascinating，imposing，orbrilliant，andyethewasasattractiveasagenialfire，andpeopleseemedtogatherabouthimasnaturallyasaboutawarmhearth。Hewaspoor，yetalwaysappearedtobegivingsomethingaway；astranger，yeteveryonewashisfriend；nolongeryoung，butashappy-heartedasaboy；plainandpeculiar，yethisfacelookedbeautifultomany，andhisodditieswerefreelyforgivenforhissake。Jooftenwatchedhim，tryingtodiscoverthecharm，andatlastdecidedthatitwasbenevolencewhichworkedthemiracle。Ifhehadanysorrow，`itsatwithitsheadunderitswing’，andheturnedonlyhissunnysidetotheworld。Therewerelinesuponhisforehead，butTimeseemedtohavetouchedhimgently，rememberinghowkindhewastoothers。Thepleasantcurvesabouthismouthwerethememorialsofmanyfriendlywordsandcheerylaughs，hiseyeswerenevercoldorhard，andhisbighandhadawarm，stronggraspthatwasmoreexpre