第44章

Buthedid，ohblessyou，yes，hundredsoftimes，andsodidMeg，bothdeclaringthatitwasthesweetestjellytheyevermade，forfamilypeacewaspreservedinthatlittlefamilyjar。

Afterthis，MeghadMr。Scotttodinnerbyspecialinvitation，andservedhimupapleasantfeastwithoutacookedwifeforthefirstcourse，onwhichoccasionshewassogayandgracious，andmadeeverythinggooffsocharmingly，thatMr。ScotttoldJohnhewasaluckyfellow，andshookhisheadoverthehardshipsofbachelorhoodallthewayhome。

Intheautumn，newtrialsandexperiencescametoMeg。SallieMoffatrenewedherfriendship，wasalwaysrunningoutforadishofgossipatthelittlehouse，orinviting`thatpoordear’tocomeinandspendthedayatthebighouse。Itwaspleasant，forindullweatherMegoftenfeltlonely。Allwerebusyathome，Johnabsenttillnight，andnothingtodobutsew，orread，orpotterabout。

SoitnaturallyfelloutthatMeggotintothewayofgaddingandgossipingwithherfriend。SeeingSallie’sprettythingsmadeherlongforsuch，andpityherselfbecauseshehadnotgotthem。Salliewasverykind，andoftenofferedherthecovetedtrifles，butMegdeclinedthem，knowingthatJohnwouldn’tlikeit，andthenthisfoolishlittlewomanwentanddidwhatJohndislikedevenworse。

Sheknewherhusband’sincome，andshelovedtofeelthathetrustedher，notonlywithhishappiness，butwhatsomemenseemtovaluemore——hismoney。Sheknewwhereitwas，wasfreetotakewhatsheliked，andallheaskedwasthatsheshouldkeepaccountofeverypenny，paybillsonceamonth，andrememberthatshewasapoorman’swife。Tillnowshehaddonewell，beenprudentandexact，keptherlittleaccountbooksneatly，andshowedthemtohimmonthlywithoutfear。ButthatautumntheserpentgotintoMeg’sparadise，andtemptedherlikemanyamodernEve，notwithapples，butwithdress。Megdidn’tliketobepitiedandmadetofeelpoor。Itirritatedher，butshewasashamedtoconfessit，andnowandthenshetriedtoconsoleherselfbybuyingsomethingpretty，sothatSallieneedn’tthinkshehadtoeconomize。Shealwaysfeltwickedafterit，fortheprettythingswereseldomnecessaries，butthentheycostsolittle，itwasn’tworthworryingabout，sothetriflesincreasedunconsciously，andintheshoppingexcursionsshewasnolongerapassivelooker-on。

Butthetriflescostmorethanonewouldimagine，andwhenshecastupheraccountsattheendofthemonththesumtotalratherscaredher。Johnwasbusythatmonthandleftthebillstoher，thenextmonthhewasabsent，butthethirdhehadagrandquarterlysettlingup，andMegneverforgotit。Afewdaysbeforeshehaddoneadreadfulthing，anditweigheduponherconscience。Salliehadbeenbuyingsilks，andMeglongedforanewone，justahandsomelightoneforparties，herblacksilkwassocommon，andthinthingsforeveningwearwereonlyproperforgirls。AuntMarchusuallygavethesistersapresentoftwenty-fivedollarsapieceatNewYear’s。

Thatwasonlyamonthtowait，andherewasalovelyvioletsilkgoingatabargain，andshehadthemoney，ifsheonlydaredtotakeit。

Johnalwayssaidwhatwashiswashers，butwouldhethinkitrighttospendnotonlytheprospectivefive-and-twenty，butanotherfive-and-twentyoutofthehouseholdfund？Thatwasthequestion。

Salliehadurgedhertodoit，hadofferedtolendthemoney，andwiththebestintentionsinlifehadtemptedMegbeyondherstrength。

Inanevilmomenttheshopmanheldupthelovely，shimmeringfolds，andsaid，“Abargain，Iassure，you，ma’am。“Sheanswered，“I’lltakeit，“anditwascutoffandpaidfor，andSalliehadexulted，andshehadlaughedasifitwereathingofnoconsequence，anddrivenaway，feelingasifshehadstolensomething，andthepolicewereafterher。

Whenshegothome，shetriedtoassuagethepangsofremorsebyspreadingforththelovelysilk，butitlookedlesssilverynow，didn’tbecomeher，afterall，andthewords`fiftydollars’seemedstampedlikeapatterndowneachbreadth。Sheputitaway，butithauntedher，notdelightfullyasanewdressshould，butdreadfullyliketheghostofafollythatwasnoteasilylaid。WhenJohngotouthisbooksthatnight，Meg’sheartsank，andforthefirsttimeinhermarriedlife，shewasafraidofherhusband。Thekind，browneyeslookedasiftheycouldbestern，andthoughhewasunusuallymerry，shefanciedhehadfoundherout，butdidn’tmeantoletherknowit。Thehousebillswereallpaid，thebooksallinorder。

Johnhadpraisedher，andwasundoingtheoldpocketbookwhichtheycalledthe`bank’，whenMeg，knowingthatitwasquiteempty，stoppedhishand，sayingnervously……

“Youhaven’tseenmyprivateexpensebookyet。“

Johnneveraskedtoseeit，butshealwaysinsistedonhisdoingso，