第20章

THEPUBLICBEREAVEMENT

Itisourpainfuldutytorecordthesuddenandmysteriousdisappearanceofourcherishedfriend，Mrs。

SnowballPatPaw。Thislovelyandbelovedcatwasthepetofalargecircleofwarmandadmiringfriends；forherbeautyattractedalleyes，hergracesandvirtuesendearedhertoallhearts，andherlossisdeeplyfeltbythewholecommunity。

Whenlastseen，shewassittingatthegate，watchingthebutcher’scart，anditisfearedthatsomevillain，temptedbyhercharms，baselystoleher。Weekshavepassed，butnotraceofherhasbeendiscovered，andwerelinquishallhope，tieablackribbontoherbasket，setasideherdish，andweepforherasonelosttousforever。

Asympathizingfriendsendsthefollowinggem：

ALAMENT

Wemournthelossofourlittlepet，Andsigho’erherhaplessfate，Fornevermorebythefireshe’llsit，Norplaybytheoldgreengate。

ThelittlegravewhereherinfantsleepsIs’neaththechestnuttree。

Buto’erhergravewemaynotweep，Weknownotwhereitmaybe。

Heremptybed，heridleball，Willneverseehermore；

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Nogentletap，nolovingpurrIsheardattheparlordoor。

Anothercatcomesafterhermice，Acatwithadirtyface，Butshedoesnothuntasourdarlingdid，Norplaywithherairygrace。

HerstealthypawstreadtheveryhallWhereSnowballusedtoplay，ButsheonlyspitsatthedogsourpetSogallantlydroveaway。

Sheisusefulandmild，anddoesherbest，Butsheisnotfairtosee，Andwecannotgiveheryourplacedear，Norworshipherasweworshipthee。

ADVERTISEMENTS

MissOranthyBluggage，theaccomplishedstrong-mindedlecturer，willdeliverherfamouslectureon“WOMANANDHERPOSITION“

atPickwickHall，nextSaturdayEvening，aftertheusualperformances。

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AweeklymeetingwillbeheldatKitchenplace，toteachyoungladieshowtocook。

HannahBrownwillpreside，andallareinvitedtoattend。

TheDUSTPANSOCIETYwillmeetonWednesdaynext，andparadeintheupperstoryoftheClubHouse。Allmemberstoappearinuniformandshouldertheirbroomsatnineprecisely。

Mrs。BethBouncerwillopenhernewassortmentofDoll’sMillinerynextweek。

ThelatestParisfashionshavearrived，andordersarerespectfullysolicited。

AnewplaywillappearattheBarnvilleTheatre，inthecourseofafewweeks，whichwillsurpassanythingeverseenontheAmericanstage。

TheGreekSlave，orConstantinetheAvenger，isthenameofthisthrillingdrama。!!!

HINTS

IfS。P。didn’tusesomuchsoaponhishands，hewouldn’talwaysbelateatbreakfast。A。S。

isrequestednottowhistleinthestreet。T。T

pleasedon’tforgetAmy’snapkin。N。W。mustnotfretbecausehisdresshasnotninetucks。

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WEEKLYREPORT

Meg——Good。

Jo——Bad。

Beth——VeryGood。

Amy——Middling。

AsthePresidentfinishedreadingthepaper(whichIbegleavetoassuremyreadersisabonafidecopyofonewrittenbybonafidegirlsonceuponatime)，aroundofapplausefollowed，andthenMr。Snodgrassrosetomakeaproposition。

“Mr。Presidentandgentlemen，“hebegan，assumingaparliamentaryattitudeandtone，“Iwishtoproposetheadmissionofanewmember——onewhohighlydeservesthehonor，wouldbedeeplygratefulforit，andwouldaddimmenselytothespiritoftheclub，theliteraryvalueofthepaper，andbenoendjollyandnice。IproposeMr。TheodoreLaurenceasanhonorarymemberoftheP。C。Comenow，dohavehim。“

Jo’ssuddenchangeoftonemadethegirlslaugh，butalllookedratheranxious，andnoonesaidawordasSnodgrasstookhisseat。

“We’llputittoavote，“saidthePresident。“Allinfavorofthismotionpleasetomanifestitbysaying，`Aye’。“

“Contrary-mindedsay，`No’。“

MegandAmywerecontrary-minded，andMr。Winklerosetosaywithgreatelegance，“Wedon’twishanyboys，theyonlyjokeandbounceabout。Thisisaladies’club，andwewishtobeprivateandproper。“

“I’mafraidhe’lllaughatourpaper，andmakefunofusafterward，“observedPickwick，pullingthelittlecurlonherforehead，asshealwaysdidwhendoubtful。

UproseSnodgrass，verymuchinearnest。“Sir，Igiveyoumywordasagentleman，Lauriewon’tdoanythingofthesort。

Helikestowrite，andhe’llgiveatonetoourcontributionsandkeepusfrombeingsentimental，don’tyousee？Wecandosolittleforhim，andhedoessomuchforus，Ithinktheleastwecandoistoofferhimaplacehere，andmakehimwelcomeifhecomes。“

ThisartfulallusiontobenefitsconferredbroughtTupmantohisfeet，lookingasifhehadquitemadeuphismind。

“Yes，weoughttodoit，evenifweareafraid。Isayhemaycome，andhisgrandpa，too，ifhelikes。“

ThisspiritedburstfromBethelectrifiedtheclub，andJoleftherseattoshakehandsapprovingly。“Nowthen，voteagain。

Everybodyrememberit’sourLaurie，andsay，`Aye!’“

criedSnodgrassexcitedly。

“Aye!Aye!Aye!“repliedthreevoicesatonce。

“Good!Blessyou!Now，asthere’snothinglike`takingtimebythefetlock’，asWinklecharacteristicallyobserves，allowmetopresentthenewmember。“And，tothedismayoftherestoftheclub，Jothrewopenthedoorofthecloset，anddisplayedLauriesittingonaragbag，flushedandtwinklingwithsuppressedlaughter。

“Yourogue!Youtraitor!Jo，howcouldyou？“criedthethreegirls，asSnodgrassledherfriendtriumphantlyforth，andproducingbothachairandabadge，installedhiminajiffy。

“Thecoolnessofyoutworascalsisamazing，“beganMr。Pickwick，tryingtogetupanawfulfrownandonlysucceedinginproducinganamiablesmile。Butthenewmemberwasequaltotheoccasion，andrising，withagratefulsalutationtotheChair，saidinthemostengagingmanner，“Mr。Presidentandladies——Ibegpardon，gentlemen——allowmetointroducemyselfasSamWeller，theveryhumbleservantoftheclub。“

“Good!Good!“criedJo，poundingwiththehandleoftheoldwarmingpanonwhichsheleaned。

“Myfaithfulfriendandnoblepatron，“continuedLauriewithawaveofthehand，“whohassoflatteringlypresentedme，isnottobeblamedforthebasestratagemoftonight。Iplannedit，andsheonlygaveinafterlotsofteasing。“

“Comenow，don’tlayitallonyourself。YouknowIproposedthecupboard，“brokeinSnodgrass，whowasenjoyingthejokeamazingly。

“Nevermindwhatshesays。I’mthewretchthatdidit，sir，“

saidthenewmember，withaWelleresquenodtoMr。Pickwick。“Butonmyhonor，Ineverwilldosoagain，andhenceforthdevotemyselftotheinterestofthisimmortalclub。“

“Hear!Hear!“criedJo，clashingthelidofthewarmingpanlikeacymbal。

“Goon，goon!“addedWinkleandTupman，whilethePresidentbowedbenignly。

“Imerelywishtosay，thatasaslighttokenofmygratitudeforthehonordoneme，andasameansofpromotingfriendlyrelationsbetweenadjoiningnations，Ihavesetupapostofficeinthehedgeinthelowercornerofthegarden，afine，spaciousbuildingwithpadlocksonthedoorsandeveryconvenienceforthemails，alsothefemales，ifImaybeallowedtheexpression。It’stheoldmartinhouse，butI’vestoppedupthedoorandmadetheroofopen，soitwillholdallsortsofthings，andsaveourvaluabletime。Letters，manuscripts，books，andbundlescanbepassedinthere，andaseachnationhasakey，itwillbeuncommonlynice，Ifancy。Allowmetopresenttheclubkey，andwithmanythanksforyourfavor，takemyseat。“

GreatapplauseasMr。Wellerdepositedalittlekeyonthetableandsubsided，thewarmingpanclashedandwavedwildly，anditwassometimebeforeordercouldberestored。Alongdiscussionfollowed，andeveryonecameoutsurprising，foreveryonedidherbest。Soitwasanunusuallylivelymeeting，anddidnotadjourntillalatehour，whenitbrokeupwiththreeshrillcheersforthenewmember。NooneeverregrettedtheadmittanceofSamWeller，foramoredevoted，well-behaved，andjovialmembernoclubcouldhave。

Hecertainlydidadd`spirit’tothemeetings，and`atone’tothepaper，forhisorationsconvulsedhishearersandhiscontributionswereexcellent，beingpatriotic，classical，comical，ordramatic，butneversentimental。JoregardedthemasworthyofBacon，Milton，orShakespeare，andremodeledherownworkswithgoodeffect，shethought。

TheP。O。wasacapitallittleinstitution，andflourishedwonderfully，fornearlyasmanyqueerthingspassedthroughitasthroughtherealpostoffice。Tragediesandcravats，poetryandpickles，gardenseedsandlongletters，musicandgingerbread，rubbers，invitations，scoldings，andpuppies。Theoldgentlemanlikedthefun，andamusedhimselfbysendingoddbundles，mysteriousmessages，andfunnytelegrams，andhisgardener，whowassmittenwithHannah’scharms，actuallysentalovelettertoJo’scare。Howtheylaughedwhenthesecretcameout，neverdreaminghowmanylovelettersthatlittlepostofficewouldholdintheyearstocome。

Chapter11CHAPTERELEVEN

“ThefirstofJune!TheKingsareofftotheseashoretomorrow，andI’mfree。Threemonths’vacation——howIshallenjoyit!“

exclaimedMeg，cominghomeonewarmdaytofindJolaiduponthesofainanunusualstateofexhaustion，whileBethtookoffherdustyboots，andAmymadelemonadefortherefreshmentofthewholeparty。

“AuntMarchwenttoday，forwhich，oh，bejoyful!“saidJo。

“Iwasmortallyafraidshe’daskmetogowithher。Ifshehad，IshouldhavefeltasifIoughttodoit，butPlumfieldisaboutasgayasachurchyard，youknow，andI’dratherbeexcused。

Wehadaflurrygettingtheoldladyoff，andIhadafrighteverytimeshespoketome，forIwasinsuchahurrytobethroughthatIwasuncommonlyhelpfulandsweet，andfearedshe’dfinditimpossibletopartfromme。Iquakedtillshewasfairlyinthecarriage，andhadafinalfright，forasitdroveof，shepoppedoutherhead，saying，`Josyphine，won’tyou——？’Ididn’thearanymore，forIbaselyturnedandfled。Ididactuallyrun，andwhiskedroundthecornerwheeIfeltsafe。“

“PooroldJo!Shecameinlookingasifbearswereafterher，“

saidBeth，asshecuddledhersister’sfeetwithamotherlyair。

“AuntMarchisaregularsamphire，isshenot？“observedAmy，tastinghermixturecritically。

“Shemeansvampire，notseaweed，butitdoesn’tmatter。It’stoowarmtobeparticularaboutone’spartsofspeech，“murmuredJo。

“Whatshallyoudoallyourvacation？“askedAmy，changingthesubjectwithtact。

“Ishalllieabedlate，anddonothing，“repliedMeg，fromthedepthsoftherockingchair。“I’vebeenroutedupearlyallwinterandhadtospendmydaysworkingforotherpeople，sonowI’mgoingtorestandreveltomyheart’scontent。“

“No，“saidJo，“thatdozywaywouldn’tsuitme。I’velaidinaheapofbooks，andI’mgoingtoimprovemyshininghoursreadingonmyperchintheoldappletree，whenI’mnothavingl……“

“Don’tsay`larks!’“imploredAmy，asareturnsnubforthesamphire’correction。

“I’llsay`nightingales’then，withLaurie。That’sproperandappropriate，sincehe’sawarbler。“

“Don’tletusdoanylessons，Beth，forawhile，butplayallthetimeandrest，asthegirlsmeanto，“proposedAmy。

“Well，Iwill，ifMotherdoesn’tmind。Iwanttolearnsomenewsongs，andmychildrenneedfittingupforthesummer。Theyaredreadfullyoutoforderandreallysufferingforclothes。“

“Maywe，Mother？“askedMeg，turningtoMrs。March，whosatsewinginwhattheycalled`Marmee’scorner’。

“Youmaytryyourexperimentforaweekandseehowyoulikeit。IthinkbySaturdaynightyouwillfindthatallplayandnoworkisasbadasallworkandnoplay。“

“Oh，dear，no!Itwillbedelicious，I’msure，“saidMegcomplacently。

“Inowproposeatoast，asmy`friendandpardner，SairyGamp’，says。Funforever，andnogrubbing!“

criedJo，rising，glassinhand，asthelemonadewentround。

Theyalldrankitmerrily，andbegantheexperimentbyloungingfortherestoftheday。Nextmorning，Megdidnotappeartillteno’clock。Hersolitarybreakfastdidnottastenice，andtheroomseemedlonelyanduntidy，forJohadnotfilledthevases，Bethhadnotdusted，andAmy’sbookslayscatteredabout。Nothingwasneatandpleasantbut`Marmee’scorner’，whichlookedasusual。AndthereMegsat，to`restandread’，whichmeanttoyawnandimaginewhatprettysummerdressesshewouldgetwithhersalary。JospentthemorningontheriverwithLaurieandtheafternoonreadingandcryingoverTheWide，WideWorld，upintheappletree。Bethbeganbyrummagingeverythingoutofthebigclosetwhereherfamilyresided，butgettingtiredbeforehalfdone，sheleftherestablishmenttopsy-turvyandwenttohermusic，rejoicingthatshehadnodishestowash。

Amyarrangedherbower，putonherbestwhitefrock，smoothedhercurls，andsatdowntodrawunderthehoneysuckle，hopingsomeonewouldseeandinquirewhotheyoungartistwas。Asnooneappearedbutaninquisitivedaddy-longlegs，whoexaminedherworkwithinterest，shewenttowalk，gotcaughtinashower，andcamehomedripping。