第18章

Sheleanedherforeheadonthecoolpane，andstoodhalfhiddenbythecurtains，nevermindingthatherfavoritewaltzhadbegun，tillsomeonetouchedher，andturning，shesawLaurie，lookingpenitent，ashesaid，withhisverybestbowandhishandout……

“Pleaseforgivemyrudeness，andcomeanddancewithme。“

“I’mafraiditwillbetodisagreeabletoyou，“saidMeg，tryingtolookoffendedandfailingentirely。

“Notabitofit，I’mdyingtodoit。Come，I’llbegood。

Idon’tlikeyourgown，butIdothinkyouarejustsplendid。“

Andhewavedhishands，asifwordsfailedtoexpresshisadmiration。

Megsmiledandrelented，andwhisperedastheystoodwaitingtocatchthetime，“Takecaremyskirtdoesn’ttripyouup。It’stheplagueofmylifeandIwasagoosetowearit。“

“Pinitroundyourneck，andthenitwillbeuseful，“saidLaurie，lookingdownatthelittleblueboots，whichheevidentlyapprovedof。

Awaytheywentfleetlyandgracefully，forhavingpracticedathome，theywerewellmatched，andtheblitheyoungcouplewereapleasantsighttosee，astheytwirledmerrilyroundandround，feelingmorefriendlythaneveraftertheirsmalltiff。

“Laurie，Iwantyoutodomeafavor，willyou？’saidMeg，ashestoodfanningherwhenherbreathgaveout，whichitdidverysoonthoughshewouldnotownwhy。

“Won’tI!“saidLaurie，withalacrity。

“Pleasedon’ttellthemathomeaboutmydresstonight。

Theywon’tunderstandthejoke，anditwillworryMother。’

“Thenwhydidyoudoit？“saidLaurie’seyes，soplainlythatMeghastilyadded……

“Ishalltellthemmyselfallaboutit，and`fess’toMotherhowsillyI’vebeen。ButI’dratherdoitmyself。Soyou’llnottell，willyou？“

“IgiveyoumywordIwon’t，onlywhatshallIsaywhentheyaskme？“

“JustsayIlookedprettywellandwashavingagoodtime。“

“I’llsaythefirstwithallmyheart，buthowabouttheother？Youdon’tlookasifyouwerehavingagoodtime。

Areyou？’AndLaurielookedatherwithanexpressionwhichmadeheranswerinawhisper……

“No，notjustnow。Don’tthinkI’mhorrid。Ionlywantedalittlefun，butthissortdoesn’tpay，Ifind，andI’mgettingtiredofit。“

“HerecomesNedMoffat。Whatdoeshewant？“saidLaurie，knittinghisblackbrowsasifhedidnotregardhisyounghostinthelightofapleasantadditiontotheparty。

“Heputhisnamedownforthreedances，andIsupposehe’scomingforthem。Whatabore!“saidMeg，assumingalanguidairwhichamusedLaurieimmensely。

Hedidnotspeaktoheragaintillsuppertime，whenhesawherdrinkingchampagnewithNedandhisfriendFisher，whowerebehaving`likeapairoffools’，asLauriesaidtohimself，forhefeltabrotherlysortofrighttowatchovertheMarchesandfighttheirbattleswheneveradefenderwasneeded。

“You’llhaveasplittingheadachetomorrow，ifyoudrinkmuchofthat。Iwouldn’t，Meg，yourmotherdoesn’tlikeit，youknow，“hewhispered，leaningoverherchair，asNedturnedtorefillherglassandFisherstoopedtopickupherfan。

“I’mnotMegtonight，I’m`adoll’whodoesallsortsofcrazythings。TomorrowIshallputawaymy`fussandfeathers’

andbedesperatelygoodagain，“seansweredwithanaffectedlittlelaugh。

“Wishtomorrowwashere，then，“mutteredLaurie，walkingoff，ill-pleasedatthechangehesawinher。

Megdancedandflirted，chatteredandgiggled，astheothergirlsdid。AftersuppersheundertooktheGerman，andblunderedthroughit，nearlyupsettingherpartnerwithherlongskirt，andrompinginawaythatscandalizedLaurie，wholookedonandmeditatedalecture。Buthegotnochancetodeliverit，forMegkeptawayfromhimtillhecametosaygoodnight。

“Remember!“shesaid，tryingtosmile，forthesplittingheadachehadalreadybegun。

“Silencea`lamort，“repliedLaurie，withamelodramaticflourish，ashewentaway。

ThislittlebitofbyplayexcitedAnnie’scuriosity，butMegwastootiredforgossipandwenttobed，feelingasifshehadbeentoamasqueradeandhadn’tenjoyedherselfasmuchassheexpected。Shewassickallthenextday，andonSaturdaywenthome，quiteusedupwithherfortnight’sfunandfeelingthatshehad`satinthelapofluxury’longenough。

“Itdoesseempleasanttobequiet，andnothavecompanymannersonallthetime。Homeisaniceplace，thoughitisn’tsplendid，“saidMeg，lookingaboutherwitharestfulexpression，asshesatwithhermotherandJoontheSundayevening。

“I’mgladtohearyousayso，dear，forIwasafraidhomewouldseemdullandpoortoyouafteryourfinequarters，“repliedhermother，whohadgivenhermanyanxiouslooksthatday。Formotherlyeyesarequicktoseeanychangeinchildren’sfaces。

Meghadtoldheradventuresgaylyandsaidoverandoverwhatacharmingtimeshehadhad，butsomethingstillseemedtoweighuponherspirits，andwhentheyoungergirlsweregonetobed，shesatthoughtfullystaringatthefire，sayinglittleandlookingworried。AstheclockstrucknineandJoproposedbed，Megsuddenlyleftherchairand，takingBeth’sstool，leanedherelbowsonhermother’sknee，sayingbravely……

“Marmee，Iwantto`fess’。“

“Ithoughtso。Whatisit，dear？“

“ShallIgoaway？“askedJodiscreetly。

“Ofcoursenot。Don’tIalwaystellyoueverything？Iwasashamedtospeakofitbeforetheyoungerchildren，butIwantyoutoknowallthedreadfulthingsIdidattheMoffats’。“

“Weareprepared，“saidMrs。March，smilingbutlookingalittleanxious。

“Itoldyoutheydressedmeup，butIdidn’ttellyouthattheypowderedandsqueezedandfrizzled，andmademelooklikeafashionplate。LauriethoughtIwasn’tproper。Iknowhedid，thoughhedidn’tsayso，andonemancalledme`adoll’。Iknewitwassilly，buttheyflatteredmeandsaidIwasabeauty，andquantitiesofnonsense，soIletthemmakeafoolofme。“

“Isthatall？“askedJo，asMrs。Marchlookedsilentlyatthedowncastfaceofherprettydaughter，andcouldnotfinditinherhearttoblameherlittlefollies。

“No，Idrankchampagneandrompedandtriedtoflirt，andwasaltogetherabominable，“saidMegself-reproachfully。

“Thereissomethingmore，Ithink。“AndMrs。Marchsmoothedthesoftcheek，whichsuddenlygrewrosyasMegansweredslowly……

“Yes。It’sverysilly，butIwanttotellit，becauseIhatetohavepeoplesayandthinksuchthingsaboutusandLaurie。“

ThenshetoldthevariousbitsofgossipshehadheardattheMoffats’，andasshespoke，Josawhermotherfoldherlipstightly，asifillpleasedthatsuchideasshouldbeputintoMeg’sinnocentmind。

“Well，ifthatisn’tthegreatestrubbishIeverheard，“criedJoindignantly。“Whydidn’tyoupopoutandtellthemsoonthespot？’

“Icouldn’t，itwassoembarrassingforme。Icouldn’thelphearingatfirst，andthenIwassoangryandashamed，Ididn’trememberthatIoughttogoaway。“

“JustwaittillIseeAnnieMoffat，andI’llshowyouhowtosettlesuchridiculousstuff。Theideaofhaving`plans’andbeingkindtoLauriebecausehe’srichandmaymarryusby-and-by!Won’theshoutwhenItellhimwhatthosesillythingssayaboutuspoorchildren？“AndJolaughed，asifonsecondthoughtsthethingstruckherasagoodjoke。

“IfyoutellLaurie，I’llneverforgiveyou!Shemustn’t，mustshe，Mother？“saidMeg，lookingdistressed。

“No，neverrepeatthatfoolishgossip，andforgetitassoonasyoucan，“saidMrs。Marchgravely。“IwasveryunwisetoletyougoamongpeopleofwhomIknowsolittle，kind，Idaresay，butworldly，ill-bred，andfullofthesevulgarideasaboutyoungpeople。IammoresorrythanIcanexpressforthemischiefthisvisitmayhavedoneyou，Meg。“

“Don’tbesorry，Iwon’tletithurtme。I’llforgetallthebadandrememberonlythegood，forIdidenjoyagreatdeal，andthankyouverymuchforlettingmego。I’llnotbesentimentalordissatisfied，Mother。IknowI’masillylittlegirl，andI’llstaywithyoutillI’mfittotakecareofmyself。Butitisnicetobepraisedandadmired，andIcan’thelpsayingIlikeit，“saidMeg，lookinghalfashamedoftheconfession。

“Thatisperfectlynatural，andquiteharmless，ifthelikingdoesnotbecomeapassionandleadonetodofoolishorunmaidenlythings。Learntoknowandvaluethepraisewhichisworthhaving，andtoexcitetheadmirationofexcellentpeoplebybeingmodestaswellaspretty，Meg。“

Margaretsatthinkingamoment，whileJostoodwithherhandsbehindher，lookingbothinterestedandalittleperplexed，foritwasanewthingtoseeMegblushingandtalkingaboutadmiration，lovers，andthingsofthatsort。AndJofeltasifduringthatfortnighthersisterhadgrownupamazingly，andwasdriftingawayfromherintoaworldwhereshecouldnotfollow。

“Mother，doyouhave`plans’，asMrs。Moffatsaid？“askedMegbashfully。

“Yes，mydear，Ihaveagreatmany，allmothersdo，butminediffersomewhatfromMrs。Moffat’s，Isuspect。Iwilltellyousomeofthem，forthetimehascomewhenawordmaysetthisromanticlittleheadandheartofyoursright，onaveryserioussubject。Youareyoung，Meg，butnottooyoungtounderstandme，andmothers’lipsarethefittesttospeakofsuchthingstogirlslikeyou。Jo，yourturnwillcomeintime，perhaps，solistentomy`plans’andhelpmecarrythemout，iftheyaregood。“

Jowentandsatononearmofthechair，lookingasifshethoughttheywereabouttojoininsomeverysolemnaffair。

Holdingahandofeach，andwatchingthetwoyoungfaceswistfully，Mrs。Marchsaid，inherseriousyetcheeryway……

“Iwantmydaughterstobebeautiful，accomplished，andgood。

Tobeadmired，loved，andrespected。Tohaveahappyyouth，tobewellandwiselymarried，andtoleaduseful，pleasantlives，withaslittlecareandsorrowtotrythemasGodseesfittosend。

Tobelovedandchosenbyagoodmanisthebestandsweetestthingwhichcanhappentoawoman，andIsincerelyhopemygirlsmayknowthisbeautifulexperience。Itisnaturaltothinkofit，Meg，righttohopeandwaitforit，andwisetoprepareforit，sothatwhenthehappytimecomes，youmayfeelreadyforthedutiesandworthyofthejoy。Mydeargirls，Iamambitiousforyou，butnottohaveyoumakeadashintheworld，marryrichmenmerelybecausetheyarerich，orhavesplendidhouses，whicharenothomesbecauseloveiswanting。Moneyisaneedfulandpreciousthing，andwhenwellused，anoblething，butIneverwantyoutothinkitisthefirstoronlyprizetostrivefor。I’dratherseeyoupoormen’swives，ifyouwerehappy，beloved，contented，thanqueensonthrones，withoutself-respectandpeace。“

“Poorgirlsdon’tstandanychance，Bellesays，unlesstheyputthemselvesforward，“sighedMeg。

“Thenwe’llbeoldmaids，“saidJostoutly。