Lord Jim

第37章

`Afterthesunhadset,thedarknessseemedtodriveuponus,borneineveryfaintpuffofthebreeze。InthemiddleofahedgedpathIsawthearrested,gaunt,watchful,andapparentlyone-leggedsilhouetteofTamb’Itam;andacrosstheduskyspacemyeyedetectedsomethingwhitemovingtoandfrobehindthesupportsoftheroof。AssoonasJim,withTamb’Itamathisheels,hadstarteduponhiseveningrounds,Iwentuptothehousealone,and,unexpectedly,foundmyselfwaylaidbythegirl,whohadbeenclearlywaitingforthisopportunity。

`Itishardtotellyouwhatitwaspreciselyshewantedtowrestfromme。Obviouslyitwouldbesomethingverysimple——thesimplestimpossibilityintheworld;as,forinstance,theexactdescriptionoftheformofacloud。Shewantedanassurance,astatement,apromise,anexplanation——I

don’tknowhowtocallit:thethinghasnoname。Itwasdarkundertheprojectingroof,andallIcouldseeweretheflowinglinesofhergown,thepalesmallovalofherface,withthewhiteflashofherteeth,and,turnedtowardsme,thebigsombreorbitsofhereyes,wherethereseemedtobeafaintstir,suchasyoumayfancyyoucandetectwhenyouplungeyourgazetothebottomofanimmenselydeepwell。Whatisthatmovesthere?

youaskyourself。Isitablindmonsteroronlyalostgleamfromtheuniverse?

Itoccurredtome——don’tlaugh——thatallthingsbeingdissimilar,shewasmoreinscrutableinherchildishignorancethantheSphinxpropoundingchildishriddlestowayfarers。ShehadbeencarriedofftoPatusanbeforehereyeswereopen。Shehadgrownupthere;shehadseennothing,shehadknownnothing,shehadnoconceptionofanything。Iaskmyselfwhethersheweresurethatanythingelseexisted。Whatnotionsshemayhaveformedoftheoutsideworldistomeinconceivable:allthatsheknewofitsinhabitantswereabetrayedwomanandasinisterpantaloon。Herloveralsocametoherfromthere,giftedwithirresistibleseductions;butwhatwouldbecomeofherifheshouldreturntotheseinconceivableregionsthatseemedalwaystoclaimbacktheirown?Hermotherhadwarnedherofthiswithtearsbeforeshedied……

`Shehadcaughtholdofmyarmfirmly,andassoonasIhadstoppedshehadwithdrawnherhandinhaste。Shewasaudaciousandshrinking。Shefearednothing,butshewascheckedbytheprofoundincertitudeandtheextremestrangeness——abravepersongropinginthedark。IbelongedtothisUnknownthatmightclaimJimforitsownatanymoment。Iwas,asitwere,inthesecretofitsnatureandofitsintentions——theconfidantofathreateningmystery;——armedwithitspowerperhaps!IbelieveshesupposedIcouldwithawordwhiskJimawayoutofherveryarms;itismysoberconvictionshewentthroughagoniesofapprehensionduringmylongtalkswithJim;througharealandintolerableanguishthatmighthaveconceivablydrivenherintoplottingmymurder,hadthefiercenessofhersoulbeenequaltothetremendoussituationithadcreated。Thisismyimpression,anditisallIcangiveyou。Thewholethingdawnedgraduallyuponme,andasitgotclearerandclearerIwasoverwhelmedbyaslowincredulousamazement。Shemademebelieveher,butthereisnowordthatonmylipscouldrendertheeffectoftheheadlongandvehementwhisper,ofthesoftpassionatetones,ofthesuddenbreathlesspauseandtheappealingmovementofthewhitearmsextendedswiftly。Theyfell;theghostlyfigureswayedlikeaslendertreeinthewind,thepaleovalofthefacedrooped;itwasimpossibletodistinguishherfeatures,thedarknessoftheeyeswasunfathomable;twowidesleevesuproseinthedarklikeunfoldingwings,andshestoodsilent,holdingherheadinherhands。’

immenselytouched:heryouth,herignorance,herprettybeauty,whichhadthesimplecharmandthedelicatevigourofawild-flower,herpatheticpleading,herhelplessness,appealedtomewithalmostthestrengthofherownunreasonableandnaturalfear。Shefearedtheunknownaswealldo,andherignorancemadetheunknowninfinitelyvast。Istoodforit,formyself,foryoufellows,foralltheworldthatneithercaredforJimnorneededhimintheleast。Iwouldhavebeenreadyenoughtoanswerfortheindifferenceoftheteemingearthbutforthereflectionthathe,too,belongedtothismysteriousunknownofherfears,andthat,howevermuchIstoodfor,Ididnotstandforhim。Thismademehesitate。Amurmurofhopelesspainunsealedmylips。IbeganbyprotestingthatIatleasthadcomewithnointentiontotakeJimaway。

`WhydidIcome,then?Afteraslightmovementshewasasstillasamarblestatueinthenight。Itriedtoexplainbriefly:friendship,business;

ifIhadanywishinthematteritwasrathertoseehimstay……“Theyalwaysleaveus,“shemurmured。Thebreathofsadwisdomfromthegravewhichherpietywreathedwithflowersseemedtopassinafaintsigh……Nothing,Isaid,couldseparateJimfromher。

`Itismyfirmconvictionnow;itwasmyconvictionatthetime;itwastheonlypossibleconclusionfromthefactsofthecase。Itwasnotmademorecertainbyherwhisperinginatoneinwhichonespeakstooneself,“Hesworethistome。““Didyouaskhim?“Isaid。

`Shemadeastepnearer。“No。Never!“Shehadaskedhimonlytogoaway。

Itwasthatnightontheriver-bank,afterhehadkilledtheman——aftershehadflungthetorc

这是VIP章节,可购买本章或开通会员后阅读
开通会员
字体大小
背景颜色