Lord Jim

第30章

Iasked。“Well,Icouldn’tfightthewholepopulation,andIwasn’tcomingtothemasifIwereafraidofmylife,“hesaid,withjustafainthintofhisstubbornsulkinessintheglancehegaveme。Irefrainedfrompointingouttohimthattheycouldnothaveknownthechamberswereactuallyempty。

Hehadtosatisfyhimselfinhisownway……“Anyhowitwasn’t,“herepeated,good-humouredly,“andsoIjuststoodstillandaskedthemwhatwasthematter。Thatseemedtostrikethemdumb。Isawsomeofthesethievesgoingoffwithmybox。Thatlong-leggedoldscoundrelKassim(I’llshowhimtoyouto-morrow)ranoutfussingtomeabouttheRajahwantingtoseeme。Isaid,`Allright’;I,too,wantedtoseetheRajah,andIsimplywalkedinthroughthegateand——and——hereIam。“Helaughed,andthenwithunexpectedemphasis,“Anddoyouknowwhat’sthebestinit?“heasked。

“I’lltellyou。It’stheknowledgethathadIbeenwipedoutitisthisplacethatwouldhavebeentheloser。“

`HespokethustomebeforehishouseonthateveningI’vementioned——afterwehadwatchedthemoonfloatawayabovethechasmbetweenthehillslikeanascendingspiritoutofagrave;itssheendescended,coldandpale,liketheghostofdeadsunlight。Thereissomethinghauntinginthelightofthemoon;ithasallthedispassionatenessofadisembodiedsoul,andsomethingofitsinconceivablemystery。Itistooursunshine,which——saywhatyoulike——isallwehavetoliveby,whattheechoistothesound:

misleadingandconfusingwhetherthenotebemockingorsad。Itrobsallformsofmatter——which,afterall,isourdomain——oftheirsubstance,andgivesasinisterrealitytoshadowsalone。Andtheshadowswereveryrealaroundus,butJimbymysidelookedverystalwart,asthoughnothing——noteventheoccultpowerofmoonlight——couldrobhimofhisrealityinmyeyes。Perhaps,indeed,nothingcouldtouchhimsincehehadsurvivedtheassaultofthedarkpowers。Allwassilent,allwasstill;evenontheriverthemoonbeamssleptasonapool。Itwasthemomentofhighwater,amomentofimmobilitythataccentuatedtheutterisolationofthislostcorneroftheearth。Thehousescrowdingalongthewideshiningsweepwithoutrippleorglitter,steppingintothewaterinalineofjostling,vague,grey,silveryformsmingledwithblackmassesofshadow,werelikeaspectralherdofshapelesscreaturespressingforwardtodrinkinaspectralandlifelessstream。Hereandtherearedgleamtwinkledwithinthebamboowalls,warm,likealivingspark,significantofhumanaffections,ofshelter,ofrepose。

`Heconfessedtomethatheoftenwatchedthesetinywarmgleamsgooutonebyone,thathelovedtoseepeoplegotosleepunderhiseyes,confidentinthesecurityofto-morrow。“Peacefulhere,eh?“heasked。

Hewasnoteloquent,buttherewasadeepmeaninginthewordsthatfollowed。

“Lookatthesehouses;there’snotonewhereIamnottrusted。Jove!I

toldyouIwouldhangon。Askanyman,woman,orchild……“Hepaused。

“Well,Iamallrightanyhow。“

`Iobservedquicklythathehadfoundthatoutintheend。Ihadbeensureofit,Iadded。Heshookhishead。“Wereyou?“Hepressedmyarmlightlyabovetheelbow。“Well,then——youwereright。“

`Therewaselationandpride,therewasawealmost,inthatlowexclamation。

“Jove!“hecried,“onlythinkwhatitistome。’Againhepressedmyarm。

“AndyouaskedmewhetherIthoughtofleaving。GoodGod!I!Wanttoleave!

EspeciallynowafterwhatyoutoldmeofMr。Stein’s……Leave!Why!

That’swhatIwasafraidof。Itwouldhavebeen——itwouldhavebeenharderthandying。No——onmyword。Don’tlaugh。Imustfeel——everyday,everytimeIopenmyeyes——thatIamtrusted——thatnobodyhasaright——don’tyouknow?Leave!Forwhere?Whatfor?Togetwhat?’

`Ihadtoldhim(indeeditwasthemainobjectofmyvisit)thatitwasStein’sintentiontopresenthimatoncewiththehouseandthestockoftradinggoods,oncertaineasyconditionswhichwouldmakethetransactionperfectlyregularandvalid。Hebegantosnortandplungeatfirst。“Confoundyourdelicacy!“Ishouted。“Itisn’tSteinatall。It’sgivingyouwhatyouhadmadeforyourself。AndinanycasekeepyourremarksforM’Neil——whenyoumeethimintheotherworld。Ihopeitwon’thappensoon……“Hehadtogiveintomyarguments,becauseallhisconquests,thetrust,thefame,thefriendships,thelove——allthesethingsthatmadehimmasterhadmadehimacaptive,too。Helookedwithanowner’seyeat

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