第14章

“`IknewnothingaboutittillIlookedup，“heexplained，hastily。

Andthat’spossible，too。Youhadtolistentohimasyouwouldtoasmallboyintrouble。Hedidn’tknow。Ithadhappenedsomehow。Itwouldneverhappenagain。Hehadlandedpartlyonsomebodyandfallenacrossathwart。

Hefeltasthoughallhisribsonhisleftsidemustbebroken；thenherolledover，andsawvaguelytheshiphehaddeserteduprisingabovehim，withtheredside-lightglowinglargeintherainlikeafireonthebrowofahillseenthroughamist。“Sheseemedhigherthanawall；sheloomedlikeacliffovertheboat……IwishedIcoulddie，“hecried。“Therewasnogoingback。ItwasasifIhadjumpedintoawell——intoaneverlastingdeephole……“

lockedhisfingerstogetherandtorethemapart。

Nothingcouldbemoretrue：hehadindeedjumpedintoanever-lastingdeephole。Hehadtumbledfromaheighthecouldneverscaleagain。Bythattimetheboathadgonedrivingforwardpastthebows。Itwastoodarkjustthenforthemtoseeeachother，and，moreover，theywereblindedandhalfdrownedwithrain。Hetoldmeitwaslikebeingsweptbyafloodthroughacavern。Theyturnedtheirbackstothesquall；theskipper，itseems，gotanoaroverthesterntokeeptheboatbeforeit，andfortwoorthreeminutestheendoftheworldhadcomethroughadelugeinapitchyblackness。

Theseahissed“liketwentythousandkettles。“That’shissimile，notmine。

Ifancytherewasnotmuchwindafterthefirstgust，andhehimselfhadadmittedattheinquirythattheseanevergotupthatnighttoanyextent。

Hecroucheddowninthebowsandstoleafurtiveglanceback。Hesawjustoneyellowgleamofthemastheadlighthighupandblurredlikealaststarreadytodissolve。“Itterrifiedmetoseeitstillthere，“hesaid。

That’swhathesaid。Whatterrifiedhimwasthethoughtthatthedrowningwasnotoveryet。Nodoubthewantedtobedonewiththatabominationasquicklyaspossible。Nobodyintheboatmadeasound。Inthedarksheseemedtofly，butofcourseshecouldnothavehadmuchway。Thentheshowersweptahead，andthegreat，distracting，hissingnoisefollowedtherainintodistanceanddiedout。Therewasnothingtobeheardthenbuttheslightwashabouttheboat’ssides。Somebody’steethwerechatteringviolently。

Ahandtouchedhisback。Afaintvoicesaid，“Youthere？“Anothercriedout，shakily，“She’sgone!“andtheyallstooduptogethertolookastern。

Theysawnolights。Allwasblack。Athincolddrizzlewasdrivingintotheirfaces。Theboatlurchedslightly。Theteethchatteredfaster，stopped，andbeganagaintwicebeforethemancouldmasterhisshiversufficientlytosay，“Ju-ju-stinti-ti-me……Brrrr。“Herecognizedthevoiceofthechiefengineersayingsurlily，“Isawhergodown。Ihappenedtoturnmyhead。“Thewindhaddroppedalmostcompletely。

`Theywatchedinthedarkwiththeirheadshalfturnedtowindwardasifexpectingtohearcries。Atfirsthewasthankfulthenighthadcoveredupthescenebeforehiseyes，andthentoknowofitandyettohaveseenandheardnothingappearedsomehowtheculminatingpointofanawfulmisfortune。

“Strange，isn’tit？“hemurmured，interruptinghimselfinhisdisjointednarrative。

`Itdidnotseemsostrangetome。Hemusthavehadanunconsciousconvictionthattherealitycouldnotbehalfasbad，nothalfasanguishing，appalling，andvengefulasthecreatedterrorofhisimagination。Ibelievethat，inthisfirstmoment，hisheartwaswrungwithallthesuffering，thathissoulknewtheaccumulatedsavourofallthefear，allthehorror，allthedespairofeighthundredhumanbeingspounceduponinthenightbyasuddenandviolentdeath，elsewhyshouldhehavesaid，“ItseemedtomethatImustjumpoutofthataccursedboatandswimbacktosee——halfamile——more——anydistance——totheveryspot……“？Whythisimpulse？

Doyouseethesignificance？Whybacktotheveryspot？Whynotdrownalongside——ifhemeantdrowning？whybacktotheveryspot，tosee——asifhisimaginationhadtobesoothedbytheassurancethatallwasoverbeforedeathcouldbringrelief？Idefyanyoneofyoutoofferanotherexplanation。Itwasoneofthosebizarreandexcitingglimpsesthroughthefog。Itwasanextraordinarydisclosure。Heletitoutasthemostnaturalthingonecouldsay。Hefoughtdownthatimpulseandthenhebecameconsciousofthesilence。Hementionedthistome。Asilenceofthesea，ofthesky，mergedintooneindefiniteimmensitystillasdeatharoundthesesaved，palpitatinglives。“Youmighthaveheardapindropintheboat，“hesaidwithaqueercontractionofhislips，likeamantryingtomasterhissensibilitieswhilerelatingsomeextremelymovingfact。Asilence!Godalone，whohadwilledhimashewas，knowswhathemadeofitinhisheart。“Ididn’tthinkanyspotonearthcouldbesostill，“hesaid。“Youcouldn’tdistinguishtheseafromthesky；therewasnothingtoseeandnothingtohear。Notaglimmer，notashape，notasound。Youcouldhavebelievedthateverybitofdrylandhadgonetothebottom，thateverymanonearthbutIandthesebeggarsintheboathadgotdrowned。“Heleanedoverthetablewithhisknucklesproppedamongstcoffee-cups，liqueur-glasses，cigar-ends。“Iseemedtobelieveit。Everythingwasgoneand——allwasover……“hefetchedadeepsigh……“withme。“’

Marlowsatupabruptlyandflungawayhischerootwithforce。Itmadeadartingredtaillikeatoyrocketfiredthroughthedraperyofcreepers。

Nobodystirred。

`Hey，whatdoyouthinkofit？’hecriedwithsuddenanimation。`Wasn’thetruetohimself，wasn’the？Hissavedlifewasoverforwantofgroundunderhisfeet，forwantofsightforhiseyes，forwantofvoicesinhisears。Annihiliation——hey!Andallthetimeitwasonlyacloudedsky，aseathatdidnotbreak，theairthatdidnotstir。Onlyanight；onlyasilence。

`Itlastedforawhile，andthentheyweresuddenlyandunanimouslymovedtomakeanoiseovertheirescape。“Iknewfromthefirstshewouldgo。““Notaminutetoosoon。““Anarrowsqueak，b’gosh!“Hesaidnothing，butthebreezethathaddroppedcameback，agentledraughtfreshenedsteadily，andtheseajoineditsmurmuringvoicetothistalkativereactionsucceedingthedumbmomentsofawe。Shewasgone!Shewasgone!Notadoubtofit。

Nobodycouldhavehelped。Theyrepeatedthesamewordsoverandoveragainasthoughtheycouldn’tstopthemselves。Neverdoubtedshewouldgo。Thelightsweregone。Nomistake。Thelightweregone。Couldn’texpectanythingelse。Shehadtogo……Henoticedthattheytalkedasthoughtheyhadleftbehindthemnothingbutanemptyship。Theyconcludedshewouldnothavebeenlongwhensheoncestarted。Itseemedtocausethemsomesortofsatisfaction。Theyassuredeachotherthatshecouldn’thavebeenlongaboutit——“Justshotdownlikeaflat-iron。“Thechiefengineerdeclaredthatthemastheadlightatthemomentofsinkingseemedtodrop“likealightedmatchyouthrowdown。“Atthisthesecondlaughedhysterically。

“Iamg-g-glad，Iamgla-a-a-d。“Histeethwenton“likeanelectricrattle，“

saidJim，“andallatoncehebegantocry。Heweptandblubberedlikeachild，catchinghisbreathandsobbing，`Oh，dear!oh，dear!oh，dear!’

Hewouldbequietforawhileandstartsuddenly，`Oh，mypoorarm!oh，mypoora-a-a-arm!’IfeltIcouldknockhimdown。Someofthemsatinthestern-sheets。Icouldjustmakeouttheirshapes。Voicescametome，mumble，mumble，grunt，grunt，Allthisseemedveryhardtobear。Iwascold，too。AndIcoulddonothing。IthoughtthatifImovedIwouldhavetogooverthesideand……“

`Hishandgropedstealthily，cameincontactwithaliqueurglass，andwaswithdrawnsuddenlyasifithadtouchedared-hotcoal。Ipushedthebottleslightly。“Won’tyouhavesomemore？“Iasked。Helookedatmeangrily。

“Don’tyouthinkIcantellyouwhatthereistotellwithoutscrewingmyselfup？“heasked。Thesquadofglobe-trottershadgonetobed。Wewerealonebutforavaguewhiteformerectintheshadow，that，beinglookedat，cringedforward，hesitated，backedawaysilently。Itwasgettinglate，butIdidnothurrymyguest。

`Inthemidstofhisforlornstateheheardhiscompanionsbegintoabusesomeone。“Whatkeptyoufromjumping，youlunatic？“saidascoldingvoice。Thechiefengineerleftthestern-sheets，andcouldbeheardclamberingforwardasifwithhostileintentionsagainst“thegreatestidiotthateverwas。“Theskippershoutedwithraspingeffortoffensiveepithetsfromwherehesatattheoars。Heliftedhisheadatthatuproar，andheardthename“George，“whileahandinthedarkstruckhimonthebreast。“Whathaveyougottosayforyourself，youfool？“queriedsomebody，withasortofvirtuousfury。“Theywereafterme，“hesaid。“Theywereabusingme——abusingme……bythenameofGeorge。“

`Hepausedtostare，triedtosmile，turnedhiseyesawayandwenton。

“Thatlittlesecondputshisheadrightundermynose，`Why，it’sthatblastedmate!’`What!’howlstheskipperfromtheotherendoftheboat。

`No!’shrieksthechief。Andhe，too，stoppedtolookatmyface。“

`Thewindhadlefttheboatsuddenly。Therainbegantofallagain，andthesoft，uninterrupted，alittlemysterioussoundwithwhichtheseareceivesashoweraroseonallsidesinthenight。“Theyweretootakenabacktosayanythingmoreatfirst，“henarratedsteadily，“andwhatcouldIhavetosaytothem？“Hefalteredforamoment，andmadeanefforttogoon。“Theycalledmehorriblenames。“Hisvoice，sinkingtoawhisper，nowandthenwouldleapupsuddenly，hardenedbythepassionofscorn，asthoughhehadbeentalkingofsecretabominations。“Nevermindwhattheycalledme，“hesaid，grimly。“Icouldhearhateintheirvoices。A

goodthingtoo。Theycouldnotforgivemeforbeinginthatboat。Theyhatedit。Itmadethemmad……“Helaughedshort……“Butitkeptmefrom——Look!Iwassittingwithmyarmscrossed，onthegunwale!……“Heperchedhimselfsmartlyontheedgeofthetableandcrossedhisarms……“Likethis——see？OnelittletiltbackwardsandIwouldhavebeengone——aftertheothers。Onelittletilt——theleastbit——theleastbit。“Hefrowned，andtappinghisforeheadwiththetipofhismiddlefinger，“Itwasthereallthetime，“hesaid，impressively。“Allthetime——thatnotion。Andtherain——cold，thick，coldasmeltedsnow——colder——onmythincottonclothes——I’llneverbesocoldagaininmylife，Iknow。Andtheskywasblack，too——allblack。Notastar，notalightanywhere。Nothingoutsidethatconfoundedboatandthosetwoyappingbeforemelikeacoupleofmeanmongrelsatatree’dthief。Yap!yap!Whatyoudoinghere？You’reafinesort!Toomuchofabloomin’gentlemantoputhishandtoit。Comeoutofyourtrance，didyou？Tosneakin？Didyou？Yap!yap!Youain’tfittolive!Yap!yap!Twoofthemtogethertryingtoout-barkeachother。

Theotherwouldbayfromthesternthroughrain——couldn’tseehim——couldn’tmakeout——someofhisfilthyjargon。Yap!yap!Bow-ow-ow-ow-ow!Yap!yap!

Itwassweettohearthem；itkeptmealive，Itellyou。Ithassavedmylife。Atittheywent，asiftryingtodrivemeoverboardwiththenoise!……Iwonderyouhadpluckenoughtojump。Youain’twantedhere。IfIhadknownwhoitwas，Iwouldhavetippedyouover——youskunk。Whathaveyoudonewiththeother？Wheredidyougettheplucktojump——youcoward？

What’stopreventusthreefromfiringyouoverboard？……Theywereoutofbreath；theshowerpassedawayuponthesea。Thennothing。Therewasnothingroundtheboat，notevenasound。Wantedtoseemeoverboard，didthey？Uponmysoul!Ithinktheywouldhavehadtheirwishiftheyhadonlykeptquiet。Firemeoverboard!Wouldthey？`Try，’Isaid。`Iwouldfortwopence。’`Toogoodforyou，’theyscreechedtogether。ItwassodarkthatitwasonlywhenoneortheotherofthemmovedthatIwasquitesureofseeinghim。Byheavens!Ionlywishtheyhadtried。“

`Icouldn’thelpexclaiming，“Whatanextraordinaryaffair!“

“`Notbad——eh？“hesaid，asifinsomesortastounded。

“TheypretendedtothinkIhaddoneawaywiththatdonkey-manforsomereasonorother。WhyshouldI？AndhowthedevilwasItoknow？Didn’tIgetsomehowintothatboat？intothatboat——I……“Themusclesroundhislipscontractedintoanunconsciousgrimacethattorethroughthemaskofhisusualexpression——somethingviolent，short-livedandilluminatinglikeatwistoflightningthatadmitstheeyeforaninstantintothesecretconvolutionsofacloud。“Idid。Iwasplainlytherewiththem——wasn’tI？Isn’titawfulamanshouldbedriventodoathinglikethat——andberesponsible？WhatdidIknowabouttheirGeorgetheywerehowlingafter？

IrememberedIhadseenhimcurleduponthedeck。`Murderingcoward!’

thechiefkeptoncallingme。Hedidn’tseemabletorememberanyothertwowords。Ididn’tcare，onlyhisnoisebegantoworryme。`Shutup，’

Isaid。Atthathecollectedhimselfforaconfoundedscreech。`Youkilledhim。Youkilledhim。’`No，’Ishouted，`butIwillkillyoudirectly。’

Ijumpedup，andhefellbackwardsoverathwartwithanawfulloudthump。

Idon’tknowwhy。Toodark。Triedtostepback，Isuppose。Istoodstillfacingaft，andthewretchedlittlesecondbegantowhine，`Youain’tgoingtohitachapwithabrokenarm——andyoucallyourselfagentleman，too。’

Iheardaheavytramp——one——two——and，wheezygrunting。Theotherbeastwascomingatme，clatteringhisoaroverthestern。Isawhimmoving，big，big——asyouseeamaninamist，inadream。`Comeon，’Icried。I

wouldhavetumbledhimoverlikeabaleofshakings。Hestopped，mutteredtohimself，andwentback。Perhapshehadheardthewind。Ididn’t。Itwasthelastheavygustwehad。Hewentbacktohisoar。Iwassorry。I

wouldhavetriedto——to……“