第6章

Don’tIrememberthelittleSo-and-so’s!ItellyouIoughttoknowtherightkindoflooks。Iwouldhavetrustedthedecktothatyoungsteronthestrengthofasingleglance，andgonetosleepwithbotheyes——and，byJove!itwouldn’thavebeensafe。Helookedasgenuineasanewsovereign，buttherewassomeinfernalalloyinhismetal。Howmuch？Theleastthing——theleastdropofsomethingrareandaccursed；theleastdrop!——buthemadeyou——standingtherewithhisdon’t-care-hangair——hemadeyouwonderwhetherperchancehewerenothingmorerarethanbrass。

`Icouldn’tbelieveit。ItellyouIwantedtoseehimsquirmforthehonourofthecraft。Theothertwono-accountchapsspottedtheircaptain，andbegantomoveslowlytowardsus。Theychattedtogetherastheystrolled，andIdidnotcareanymorethaniftheyhadnotbeenvisibletothenakedeye。Theygrinnedateachother——mighthavebeenexchangingjokes，forallIknow。Isawthatwithoneofthemitwasthecaseofabrokenarm；

andastothelongindividualwithgreymoustacheshewasthechiefengineer，andinvariouswaysaprettynotoriouspersonality。Theywerenobodies。

Theyapproached。Theskippergazedinaninanimatewaybetweenhisfeet：

heseemedtobeswollentoanunnaturalsizebysomeawfuldisease，bythemysteriousactionofanunknownpoison。Heliftedhishead，sawthetwobeforehimwaiting，openedhismouthwithanextraordinary，sneeringcontortionofhispuffedface——tospeaktothem，Isuppose——andthenathoughtseemedtostrikehim。Histhick，purplishlipscametogetherwithoutasound，hewentoffinaresolutewaddletothegharryandbegantojerkatthedoor-handlewithsuchablindbrutalityofimpatiencethatIexpectedtoseethewholeconcernoverturnedonitsside，ponyandall。Thedriver，shakenoutofhismeditationoverthesoleofhisfoot，displayedatonceallthesignsofintenseterror，andheldwithbothhands，lookingroundfromhisboxatthisvastcarcassforcingitswayintohisconveyance。

Thelittlemachineshookandrockedtumultuously，andthecrimsonnapeofthatloweredneck，thesizeofthosestrainingthings，theimmenseheavingofthatdingy，stripedgreen-and-orangeback，thewholeburrowingeffortofthatgaudyandsordidmasstroubledone’ssenseofprobabilitywithadrollandfearsomeeffect，likeoneofthosegrotesqueanddistinctvisionsthatscareandfascinateoneinafever。Hedisappeared。Ihalfexpectedtherooftosplitintwo，thelittleboxonwheelstoburstopeninthemannerofaripecotton-pod——butitonlysankwithaclickofflattenedsprings，andsuddenlyonevenetianblindrattleddown。Hisshouldersreappeared，jammedinthesmallopening；hisheadhungout，distendedandtossinglikeacaptiveballoon，perspiring，furious，spluttering。Hereachedforthegharry-wallahwithviciousflourishesofafistasdumpyandredasalumpofrawmeat。Heroaredathimtobeoff，togoon。Where？IntothePacific，perhaps。Thedriverlashed；theponysnorted，rearedonce，anddartedoffatagallop。Where？ToApia？toHonolulu？Hehad6，000milesoftropicalbelttodisporthimselfin，andIdidnothearthepreciseaddress。Asnortingponysnatchedhiminto“Ewigkeit“inthetwinklingofaneye，andIneversawhimagain；and，what’smore，Idon’tknowofanybodythateverhadaglimpseofhimafterhedepartedfrommyknowledgesittinginsidearamshacklelittlegharrythatfledroundthecornerinawhitesmotherofdust。Hedeparted，disappeared，vanished，absconded；andabsurdlyenoughitlookedasthoughhehadtakenthatgharrywithhim，forneveragaindidIcomeacrossasorrelponywithaslitearandalackadaisicalTamildriverafflictedbyasorefoot。ThePacificisindeedbig；butwhetherhefoundaplaceforadisplayofhistalentsinitornot，thefactremainshehadflownintospacelikeawitchonabroomstick。Thelittlechapwithhisarminaslingstartedtorunafterthecarriage，bleating，“Captain!Isay，captain!

Isa-a-ay!“——butafterafewstepsstoppedshort，hunghishead，andwalkedbackslowly。Atthesharprattleofthewheelstheyoungfellowspunroundwherehestood。Hemadenoothermovement，nogesture，nosign，andremainedfacinginthenewdirectionafterthegharryhadswungoutofsight。

`Allthishappenedinmuchlesstimethanittakestotell，sinceI

amtryingtointerpretforyouintoslowspeechtheinstantaneouseffectofvisualimpressions。Nextmomentthehalf-casteclerk，sentbyArchietolookalittleafterthepoorcastawaysofthePatna，cameuponthescene。Heranouteagerandbare-headed，lookingrightandleft，andveryfullofhismission。Itwasdoomedtobeafailureasfarastheprincipalpersonwasconcerned，butheapproachedtheotherswithfussyimportance，and，almostimmediately，foundhimselfinvolvedinaviolentaltercationwiththechapthatcarriedhisarminaslingandwhoturnedouttobeextremelyanxiousforarow。Hewasn’tgoingtobeorderedabout——“nothe，b’gosh。“Hewouldn’tbeterrifiedwithapackofliesbyacockyhalf-bredlittlequill-driver。Hewasnotgoingtobebulliedby“noobjectofthatsort，“ifthestoryweretrue“everso!“Hebawledhiswish，hisdesire，hisdeterminationtogotobed。“Ifyouweren’taGod-forsakenPortuguee，“

Iheardhimyell，“youwouldknowthatthehospitalistherightplaceforme。“Hepushedthefistofhissoundarmundertheother’snose；acrowdbegantocollect；thehalf-caste，flustered，butdoinghisbesttoappeardignified，triedtoexplainhisintentions。Iwentawaywithoutwaitingtoseetheend。

`ButitsohappenedthatIhadamaninthehospitalatthetime，andgoingtheretoseeabouthimthedaybeforetheopeningoftheinquiry，Isawinthewhitemen’swardthatlittlechaptossingonhisback，withhisarminsplints，andquitelight-headed。Tomygreatsurprisetheotherone，thelongindividualwithdroopingwhitemoustache，hadalsofoundhiswaythere。IrememberedIhadseenhimslinkingawayduringthequarrel，inahalfprance，halfshuffle，andtryingveryhardnottolookscared。

Hewasnostrangertotheport，itseems，andinhisdistresswasabletomaketracksstraightforMariani’sbilliardroomandgrog-shopnearthebazaar。Thatunspeakablevagabond，Mariani，whohadknownthemanandhadministeredtohisvicesinoneortwootherplaces，kissedtheground，inamannerofspeaking，beforehim，andshuthimupwithasupplyofbottlesinanupstairsroomofhisinfamoushovel。Itappearshewasundersomehazyapprehensionastohispersonalsafety，andwishedtobeconcealed。

However，Marianitoldmealongtimeafter(whenhecameonboardonedaytodunmystewardforthepriceofsomecigars)thathewouldhavedonemoreforhimwithoutaskinganyquestions，fromgratitudeforsomeunholyfavourreceivedverymanyyearsago——asfarasIcouldmakeout。Hethumpedtwicehisbrawnychest，rolledenormousblackandwhiteeyesglisteningwithtears：“Antonioneverforget——Antonioneverforget!“WhatwastheprecisenatureoftheimmoralobligationIneverlearned，butbeitwhatitmay，hehadeveryfacilitygivenhimtoremainunderlockandkey，withachair，atable，amattressinacorner，andalitteroffallenplasteronthefloor，inanirrationalstateoffunk，andkeepinguphispeckerwithsuchtonicsasMarianidispensed。Thislastedtilltheeveningofthethirdday，when，afterlettingoutafewhorriblescreams，hefoundhimselfcompelledtoseeksafetyinflightfromalegionofcentipedes。

Heburstthedooropen，madeoneleapfordearlifedownthecrazylittlestairway，landedbodilyonMariani’sstomach，pickedhimselfup，andboltedlikearabbitintothestreets。Thepolicepluckedhimoffagarbage-heapintheearlymorning。Atfirsthehadanotiontheywerecarryinghimofftobehanged，andfoughtforlibertylikeahero，butwhenIsatdownbyhisbedhehadbeenveryquietfortwodays。Hisleanbronzedhead，withwhitemoustaches，lookedfineandcalmonthepillow，liketheheadofawar-wornsoldierwithachildlikesoul，haditnotbeenforahintofspectralalarmthatlurkedintheblankglitterofhisglance，resemblinganondescriptformofaterrorcrouchingsilentlybehindapaneofglass。

Hewassoextremelycalm，thatIbegantoindulgeintheeccentrichopeofhearingsomethingexplanatoryofthefamousaffairfromhispointofview。WhyIlongedtogogrubbingintothedeplorabledetailsofanoccurrencewhich，afterall，concernedmenomorethanasamemberofanobscurebodyofmenheldtogetherbyacommunityofinglorioustoilandbyfidelitytoacertainstandardofconduct，Ican’texplain。Youmaycallitanunhealthycuriosityifyoulike；butIhaveadistinctnotionIwishedtofindsomething。

Perhaps，unconsciously，IhopedIwouldfindthatsomething，someprofoundandredeemingcause，somemercifulexplanation，someconvincingshadowofanexcuse。IseewellenoughnowthatIhopedfortheimpossible——forthelayingofwhatisthemostobstinateghostofman’screation，oftheuneasydoubtuprisinglikeamist，secretandgnawinglikeaworm，andmorechillingthanthecertitudeofdeath——thedoubtofthesovereignpowerenthronedinafixedstandardofconduct。Itisthehardestthingtostumbleagainst；itisthethingthatbreedsyellingpanicsandgoodlittlequietvillainies；it’sthetrueshadowofcalamity。DidIbelieveinamiracle？

andwhydidIdesireitsoardently？WasitformyownsakethatIwishedtofindsomeshadowofanexcuseforthatyoungfellowwhomIhadneverseenbefore，butwhoseappearancealoneaddedatouchofpersonalconcerntothethoughtssuggestedbytheknowledgeofhisweakness——madeitathingofmysteryandterror——likeahintofadestructivefatereadyforusallwhoseyouth——initsday——hadresembledhisyouth？Ifearthatsuchwasthesecretmotiveofmyprying。Iwas，andnomistake，lookingforamiracle。

Theonlythingthatatthisdistanceoftimestrikesmeasmiraculousistheextentofmyimbecility。Ipositivelyhopedtoobtainfromthatbatteredandshadyinvalidsomeexorcismagainsttheghostofdoubt。Imusthavebeenprettydesperatetoo，for，withoutalossoftime，afterafewindifferentandfriendlysentenceswhichheansweredwithlanguidreadiness，justasanydecentsickmanwoulddo，IproducedthewordPatnawrappedupinadelicatequestionasinawispofflosssilk。Iwasdelicateselfishly；

Ididnotwanttostartlehim；Ihadnosolicitudeforhim；Iwasnotfuriouswithhimandsorryforhim：hisexperiencewasofnoimportance，hisredemptionwouldhavehadnopointforme。Hehadgrownoldinminoriniquities，andcouldnolongerinspireaversionorpity。HerepeatedPatna？interrogatively，seemedtomakeashorteffortofmemoryandsaid：“Quiteright。Iamanoldstagerouthere。Isawhergodown。“Imadereadytoventmyindignationatsuchastupidlie，whenheaddedsmoothly，“Shewasfullofreptiles。“

`Thismademepause。Whatdidhemean？Theunsteadyphantomofterrorbehindhisglassyeyesseemedtostandstillandlookintominewistfully。

“Theyturnedmeoutofmybunkinthemiddlewatchtolookathersinking，“

hepursuedinareflectivetone。Hisvoicesoundedalarminglystrongallatonce。Iwassorryformyfolly。Therewasnosnowy-wingedcoifofanursingsistertobeseenflittingintheperspectiveoftheward；butawayinthemiddleofalongrowofemptyironbedsteadsanaccidentcasefromsomeshipintheRoadssatupbrownandgauntwithawhitebandagesetrakishlyontheforehead。Suddenlymyinterestinginvalidshotoutanarmthinlikeatentacleandclawedmyshoulder。“Onlymyeyesweregoodenoughtosee。Iamfamousformyeyesight。That’swhytheycalledme，Iexpect。Noneofthemwasquickenoughtoseehergo，buttheysawthatshewasgonerightenough，andsangouttogether——likethis。“……Awolfishhowlsearchedtheveryrecessesofmysoul。“Oh!make’imdryup，“whinedtheaccidentcaseirritably。“Youdon’tbelieveme，Isuppose，“

wentontheother，withanairofineffableconceit。“ItellyoutherearenosucheyesasminethissideofthePersianGulf。Lookunderthebed。“

`OfcourseIstoopedinstantly。Idefyanybodynottohavedoneso。

“Whatcanyousee？“heasked。“Nothing，“Isaid，feelingawfullyashamedofmyself。Hescrutinizedmyfacewithwildandwitheringcontempt。“Justso，“hesaid，“butifIweretolookIcouldsee——there’snoeyeslikemine，Itellyou。“Againheclawed，pullingatmedownwardsinhiseagernesstorelievehimselfbyaconfidentialcommunication。“Millionsofpinktoads。

There’snoeyeslikemine。Millionsofpinktoads。It’sworsethanseeingashipsink。Icouldlookatsinkingshipsandsmokemypipealldaylong。

Whydon’ttheygivemebackmypipe？IwouldgetasmokewhileIwatchedthesetoads。Theshipwasfullofthem。They’vegottobewatched，youknow。“Hewinkedfacetiously。Theperspirationdrippedonhimoffmyhead，mydrillcoatclungtomywetback；theafternoonbreezesweptimpetuouslyovertherowofbedsteads，thestifffoldsofcurtainsstirredperpendicularly，rattingonbrassrods，thecoversofemptybedsblewaboutnoiselesslynearthebarefloorallalongtheline，andIshiveredtotheverymarrow。

Thesoftwindofthetropicsplayedinthatnakedwardasbleakasawinter’sgaleinanoldbarnathome。“Don’tyoulethimstarthishollering，mister，“

hailedfromafartheaccidentcaseinadistressedangryshoutthatcameringingbetweenthewallslikeaquaveringcalldownatunnel。Theclawinghandhauledatmyshoulder；heleeredatmeknowingly。“Theshipwasfullofthem，youknow，andwehadtoclearoutonthestrictQ。T。，“hewhisperedwithextremerapidity。“Allpink。Allpink——asbigasmastiffs，withaneyeonthetopoftheheadandclawsallroundtheiruglymouths。Ough!