Lord Jim

第24章

HemademesomadthatIhadtolaugh。`Can’tyoureallystoplongenoughtodrinkthisglassofbeerhere,youfunnybeggar,you?’Idon’tknowwhatcameoverhim;hedidn’tseemabletofindthedoor;somethingcomical,Icantellyou,captain。Idrankthebeermyself。`Well,ifyou’reinsuchahurry,here’slucktoyouinyourowndrink,’saysI;`only,youmarkmywords,ifyoukeepupthisgameyou’llverysoonfindthattheearthain’tbigenoughtoholdyou——that’sall。’Hegavemeoneblacklook,andoutherushedwithafacefittoscarelittlechildren。“

`Egstromsnortedbitterly,andcombedoneauburnwhiskerwithknottyfingers。“Haven’tbeenabletogetamanthatwasanygoodsince。It’snothingbutworry,worry,worryinbusiness。Andwheremightyouhavecomeacrosshim,captain,ifit’sfairtoask?“

“`HewasthemateofthePatnathatvoyage。“Isaid,feelingthatIowedsomeexplanation。ForatimeEgstromremainedverystill,withhisfingersplungedinthehairatthesideofhisface,andthenexploded。

“Andwhothedevilcaresaboutthat?““Idaresaynoone,“Ibegan……“Andwhatthedevilishe——anyhow——fortogoonlikethis?“Hestuffedsuddenlyhisleftwhiskerintohismouthandstoodamazed。“Jee!“heexclaimed,“Itoldhimtheearthwouldn’tbebigenoughtoholdhiscaper。“’

toldyouthesetwoepisodesatlengthtoshowhismannerofdealingwithhimselfunderthenewconditionsofhislife。

Thereweremanyothersofthesort,morethanIcouldcountonthefingersofmytwohands。

`Theywereallequallytingedbyahigh-mindedabsurdityofintentionwhichmadetheirfutilityprofoundandtouching。Toflingawayyourdailybreadsoastogetyourhandsfreeforagrapplewithaghostmaybeanactofprosaicherosim。Menhaddoneitbefore(thoughwewhohavelivedknowfullwellthatitisnotthehauntedsoulbutthehungrybodythatmakesanoutcast),andmenwhohadeatenandmeanttoeateverydayhadapplaudedthecreditablefolly。Hewasindeedunfortunate,forallhisrecklessnesscouldnotcarryhimoutfromundertheshadow。Therewasalwaysadoubtofhiscourage。Thetruthseemstobethatitisimpossibletolaytheghostofafact。Youcanfaceitorshirkit——andIhavecomeacrossamanortwowhocouldwinkattheirfamiliarshades。ObviouslyJimwasnotofthewinkingsort;butwhatIcouldnevermakeupmymindaboutwaswhetherhislineofconductamountedtoshirkinghisghostortofacinghimout。

`Istrainedmymentaleyesightonlytodiscoverthat,aswiththecomplexionofallouractions,theshadeofdifferencewassodelicatethatitwasimpossibletosay。Itmighthavebeenflightanditmighthavebeenamodeofcombat。Tothecommonmindhebecameknownasarollingstone,becausethiswasthefunniestpart;hedidafteratimebecomeperfectlyknown,andevennotorious,withinthecircleofhiswanderings(whichhadadiameterof,say,threethousandmiles),inthesamewayasaneccentriccharacterisknowntoawholecountryside。Forinstance,inBangkok,wherehefoundemploymentwithYuckerBrothers,charterersandteakmerchants,itwasalmostpathetictoseehimgoaboutinsunshinehugginghissecret,whichwasknowntotheveryup-countrylogsontheriver。Schomberg,thekeeperofthehotelwhereheboarded,ahirsuteAlsatianofmanlybearingandanirrepressibleretailerofallthescandalousgossipoftheplace,would,withbothelbowsonthetable,impartanadornedversionofthestorytoanyguestwhocaredtoimbibeknowledgealongwiththemorecostlyliquors。

“And,mindyou,thenicestfellowyoucouldmeet,“wouldbehisgenerousconclusion;“quitesuperior。“ItsaysalotforthecasualcrowdthatfrequentedSchomberg’sestablishmentthatJimmanagedtohangoutinBangkokforawholesixmonths。Iremarkedthatpeople,perfectstrangers,tooktohimasonetakestoanicechild。Hismannerwasreserved,butitwasasthoughhispersonalappearance,hishair,hiseyes,hissmile,madefriendsforhimwhereverhewent。And,ofcourse,hewasnofool。IheardSiegmundYucker(nativeofSwitzerland),agentlecreatureravagedbyacrueldyspepsia,andsofrightfullylamethathisheadswungthroughaquarterofacircleateverystephetook,declareappreciativelythatforonesoyounghewas“ofgreatgabasidy,“asthoughithadbeenamerequestionofcubiccontents。“Whynotsendhimupcountry?“Isuggestedanxiously。(YuckerBrothershadconcessionsandteakforestsintheinterior。)“Ifhehascapacity,asyousay,hewillsoongetholdofthework。

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