Lord Jim

第36章

Beforedescendingthefewstepsthegirlturnedherfaceoverhershoulderandsaidquickly:“Youweretobesetuponwhileyouslept。“Jimtellsmeheexperiencedasenseofdeception。Itwastheoldstory。Hewaswearyoftheseattemptsuponhislife。Hehadhadhisfillofthesealarms。Hewassickofthem。Heassuredmehewasangrywiththegirlfordeceivinghim。Hehadfollowedherundertheimpressionthatitwasshewhowantedhishelp,andnowhehadhalfamindtoturnonhisheelandgobackindisgust。“Doyouknow,“hecommented,profoundly,“IratherthinkIwasnotquitemyselfforwholeweeksonendaboutthattime。““Oh,yes。Youwere,though,“Icouldn’thelpcontradicting。

`Butshemovedonswiftly,andhefollowedherintothecourtyard。Allitsfenceshadfalleninalongtimeago;theneighbours’buffaloeswouldpaceinthemorningacrosstheopenspace,snortingprofoundly,withouthaste;theveryjunglewasinvadingitalready。Jimandthegirlstoppedintherankgrass。Thelightinwhichtheystoodmadeadenseblacknessallround,andonlyabovetheirheadstherewasanopulentglitterofstars。

Hetoldmeitwasabeautifulnight——quitecool,withalittlestirofbreezefromtheriver。Itseemshenoticeditsfriendlybeauty。Rememberthisisalove-storyIamtellingyounow。Alovelynightthatseemedtobreatheonthemasoftcaress。Theflameofthetorchstreamednowandthenwithaflutteringnoiselikeaflag,andforatimethiswastheonlysound。“Theyareinthestoreroomwaiting,“whisperedthegirl;“theyarewaitingforthesignal。““Who’stogiveit?“heasked。Sheshookthetorch,whichblazedupafterashowerofsparks。“Onlyyouhavebeensleepingsorestlessly,“shecontinuedinamurmur。“Iwatchedyoursleep,too。“

“You!“heexclaimed,craninghisnecktolookabouthim。“YouthinkIwatchedonthisnightonly!“shesaid,withasortofdespairingindignation。

`Hesaysitwasasifhehadreceivedablowonthechest。Hegasped。

Hethoughthehadbeenanawfulbrutesomehow,andhefeltremorseful,touched,happy,elated。This,letmeremindyouagain,isalovestory;

youcanseeitbytheimbecility,notarepulsiveimbecility,theexaltedimbecilityoftheseproceedings,thisstationintorchlight,asiftheyhadcomethereonpurposetohaveitoutfortheedificationofconcealedmurderers。IfSherifAli’semissarieshadbeenpossessed——asJimremarked——ofapennyworthofspunk,thiswasthetimetomakearush。Hisheartwasthumping——notwithfear——butheseemedtohearthegrassrustle,andhesteppedsmartlyoutofthelight。Somethingdark,imperfectlyseen,flittedrapidlyoutofsight。Hecalledoutinastrongvoice,“Cornelius!OCornelius!“

Aprofoundsilencesucceeded:hisvoicedidnotseemtohavecarriedtwentyfeet。Againthegirlwasbyhisside。“Fly!“shesaid。Theoldwomanwascomingup;herbrokenfigurehoveredincrippledlittlejumpsontheedgeofthelight;theyheardhermumbling,andalight,moaningsigh。“Fly!“

repeatedthegirl,excitedly。“Theyarefrightenednow——thislight——thevoices。Theyknowyouareawakenow——theyknowyouarebig,strong,fearless……““IfIamallthat,“hebegan,butsheinterruptedhim。“Yes——to-night!

Butwhatoftomorrownight?Ofthenextnight?Ofthenightafter——ofallthemany,manynights?CanIbealwayswatching?“Asobbingcatchofherbreathaffectedhimbeyondthepowerofwords。

`Hetoldmethathehadneverfeltsosmall,sopowerless——andastocourage,whatwasthegoodofit?hethought。Hewassohelplessthatevenflightseemedofnouse;andthoughshekeptonwhispering,“GotoDoramin,gotoDoramin,“withfeverishinsistence,herealizedthatforhimtherewasnorefugefromthatlonelinesswhichcentupledallhisdangersexcept——inher。“Ithought,“hesaidtome,“thatifIwentawayfromheritwouldbetheendofeverythingsomehow。“Onlyastheycouldn’tstopthereforeverinthemiddleofthatcourtyard,hemadeuphismindtogoandlookintothestorehouse。Heletherfollowhimwithoutthinkingofanyprotest,asiftheyhadbeenindissolublyunited。“Iamfearless——amI?“hemutteredthroughhisteeth。Sherestrainedhisarm。“Waittillyouhearmyvoice,“

shesaid,and,torchinhand,ranlightlyroundthecorner。Heremainedaloneinthedarkness,hisfacetothedoor:notasound,notabreathcamefromtheotherside。Theoldhagletoutadrearygroansomewherebehindhisback。Heheardahigh-pitchedalmostscreamingcallfromthegirl。

“Now!Push!“Hepushedviolently;thedoorswungwithacreakandaclatter,disclosingtohisintenseastonishmentthelowdungeon-likeinteriorilluminatedbyalurid,waveringglare。Aturmoilofsmokeeddieddownuponanemptywoodencrateinthemiddleofthefloor,alitterofragsandstrawtriedtosoar,butonlystirredfeeblyinthedraught。Shehadthrustthelightthroughthebarsofthewindow。Hesawherbareroundarmextendedandrigid,holdingupthetorchwiththesteadinessofanironbracket。Aconicalraggedheapofoldmatscumberedadistantcorneralmosttotheceiling,andthatwasall。

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