第36章

Remotelyinmymindoccurredthethoughtthathehadlocatedhisheart，andthe"peculiardeadlypain"hehadmentionedseemedominous。I

suggested，however，thatitwasprobablysomerheumatictouch，andthisopinionseemedwarrantedwhen，afewmomentslater，thehotwaterhadagainrelievedit。Thistimethepainhadapparentlygonetostay，foritdidnotreturnwhilewewereinBaltimore。Itwasthefirstpositivemanifestationoftheanginawhicheventuallywouldtakehimfromus。

TheweatherwaspleasantinBaltimore，andhisvisittoSt。Timothy’sSchoolandhisaddresstherewerethekindofdiversionsthatmeantmosttohim。Theflockofgirls，allintheirprettycommencementdresses，assembledandrejoicingathisplayfullygivenadvice：nottosmoke——toexcess；nottodrink——toexcess；nottomarry——toexcess；hestandingthereinagarbaswhiteastheirown——itmadeararepicture——asweetmemory——anditwasthelasttimeheevergaveadvicefromtheplatformtoanyone。

EdwardS。Martinalsospoketotheschool，andthentherewasagreatfeastinginthebigassembly—hall。

ItwasonthelawnthatareporterapproachedhimwiththenewsofthedeathofEdwardEverettHale——anotheroftheoldgroup。Clemenssaidthoughtfully，afteramoment：

"IhadthegreatestrespectandesteemforEdwardEverettHale，thegreatestadmirationforhiswork。IamasgrievedtohearofhisdeathasIcaneverbetohearofthedeathofanyfriend，thoughmygriefisalwaystemperedwiththesatisfactionofknowingthatfortheonethatgoes，thehard，bitterstruggleoflifeisended。"

WewereleavingtheBelvederenextmorning，andwhenthesubjectofbreakfastcameupfordiscussionhesaid：

"ThatwasthemostdeliciousBaltimorefriedchickenwehadyesterdaymorning。Ithinkwe’lljustrepeatthatorder。ItremindsmeofJohnQuarles’sfarm。"

Wehadbeenhavingourmealsservedintherooms，butwehadbreakfastthatmorningdowninthediningroom，and"Francesca"andhermotherwerethere。

Ashestoodontherailwayplatformwaitingforthetrain，hetoldmehowonce，fifty—fiveyearsbefore，asaboyofeighteen，hehadchangedcarsthereforWashingtonandhadbarelycaughthistrain——thecrowdyellingathimasheran。

WeremainedovernightinNewYork，andthatevening，attheGrosvenor，hereadaloudapoemofhisownwhichIhadnotseenbefore。HehadbroughtitalongwithsomeintentionofreadingitatSt。Timothy’s，hesaid，buthadnotfoundtheoccasionsuitable。

"IwroteitalongtimeagoinParis。I’dbeenreadingaloudtoMrs。

ClemensandSusy——in’93，Ithink——aboutLordCliveandWarrenHastings，fromMacaulay——howgreattheywereandhowfartheyfell。ThenItookanimaginarycase——thatofsomeolddementedmanmumblingofhisformerstate。Idescribedhim，andrepeatedsomeofhismumblings。SusyandMrs。Clemenssaid，’Writeit’——soIdid，byandby，andthisisit。I

callit’TheDerelict。’"

Hereadinhiseffectivemannerthatfinepoem，theopeningstanzaofwhichfollows：

Yousneer，youshipsthatpassmeby，Yoursnow—purecanvastoweringproud！

Youtradersbase！——why，oncesuchfryPaidreverence，whenlikeacloudStorm—sweptIdrovealong，MyAdmiralatpost，hispennonblueFaintinthewildernessofsky，mylongYardsbristlingwithmygallantcrew，Myportsflungwide，mygunsdisplayed，Mytallsparshidinbellyingsail！

——Youstruckyourtopsailsthen，andmadeObeisance——nowyourmannersfail。

Hehademployedrhymewithmorefacilitythanwasusualforhim，andthefigureandphrasingwerefullofvigor。

"Itisstrongandfine，"Isaid，whenhehadfinished。

"Yes，"heassented。"ItseemssoasIreaditnow。ItissolongsinceIhaveseenitthatitislikereadinganotherman’swork。Ishouldcallitgood，Ibelieve。"

Heputthemanuscriptinhisbagandwalkedupanddownthefloortalking。

"Thereisnofigureforthehumanbeingliketheship，"hesaid；"nosuchfigureforthestorm—beatenhumandriftasthederelict——suchmenasCliveandHastingscouldonlybeimaginedasderelictsadrift，helpless，tossedbyeverywindandtide。"

WereturnedtoReddingnextday。Onthetraingoinghomehefelltotalkingofbooksandauthors，mainlyofthethingshehadneverbeenabletoread。

"WhenItakeuponeofJaneAusten’sbooks，"hesaid，"suchasPrideandPrejudice，Ifeellikeabarkeeperenteringthekingdomofheaven。I

know，whathissensationwouldbeandhisprivatecomments。Hewouldnotfindtheplacetohistaste，andhewouldprobablysayso。"

HerecalledagainhowStepniakhadcometoHartford，andhowhumiliatedMrs。ClemenshadbeentoconfessthatherhusbandwasnotfamiliarwiththewritingsofThackerayandothers。

"Idon’tknowanythingaboutanything，"hesaid，mournfully，"andneverdid。MybrotherusedtotrytogetmetoreadDickens，longago。I

couldn’tdoit——Iwasashamed；butIcouldn’tdoit。Yes，IhavereadTheTaleofTwoCities，andcoulddoitagain。Ihavereaditagoodmanytimes；butInevercouldstandMeredithandmostoftheothercelebrities。"

ByandbyhehandedmetheSaturdayTimesReview，saying：

"Hereisafinepoem，agreatpoem，Ithink。Icanstandthat。"

Itwas"ThePalatine(inthe’DarkAges’)，"byWillaSibertCather，reprintedfromMcClure’s。ThereaderwillunderstandbetterthanIcanexpresswhytheseloftyopeningstanzasappealedtoMarkTwain：

THEPALATINE

"HaveyoubeenwiththeKingtoRome，Brother，bigbrother？"

"I’vebeenthereandI’vecomehome，Backtoyourplay，littlebrother。"

"Oh，howhighisCaesar’shouse，Brother，bigbrother？"

"Goatsaboutthedoorwaysbrowse；

Night—hawksnestintheburntroof—tree，Homeofthewildbirdandhomeofthebee。

AthousandchambersofmarblelieWidetothesunandthewindandthesky。

PoppieswefindamongstourwheatGrowonCaesar’sbanquetseat。

CattlecropandneatherdsdrowseOnthefloorsofCaesar’shouse。"

"ButwhathasbecomeofCaesar’sgold，Brother，bigbrother？"

"Thetimesarebadandtheworldisold——

WhoknowsthewhereoftheCaesar’sgold？

NightcomesblackontheCaesar’shill；

Thewellsaredeepandthetalesareill。

Firefliesgleaminthedampandmold，AllthatisleftoftheCaesar’sgold。

Backtoyourplay，littlebrother。"

Fartheralonginourjourneyhehandedmethepaperagain，pointingtotheselinesofKipling：

HowisitnotgoodfortheChristian’shealthTohurrytheAryanbrown，FortheChristianrilesandtheAryansmiles，AndheweareththeChristiandown；

AndtheendofthefightisatombstonewhiteAndthenameofthelatedeceased：

Andtheepitaphdrear："AfoollieshereWhotriedtohustletheEast。"

"Icouldstandanyamountofthat，"hesaid，andpresently："Lifeistoolongandtooshort。Toolongforthewearinessofit；tooshortfortheworktobedone。Attheverymost，theaveragemindcanonlymasterafewlanguagesandalittlehistory。"

Isaid："Still，weneednotworry。Ifdeathendsallitdoesnotmatter；

andiflifeiseternaltherewillbetimeenough。"

"Yes，"heassented，rathergrimly，"thatoptimismofyoursisalwaysreadytoturnhell’sbackyardintoaplayground。"

Isaidthat，oldasIwas，IhadtakenupthestudyofFrench，andmentionedBayardTaylor’shavingbegunGreekatfifty，expectingtoneeditinheaven。

Clemenssaid，reflectively："Yes——butyouseethatwasGreek。"

CCLXXXI

THELASTSUMMERATSTORMFIELD

IwasatStormfieldprettyconstantlyduringtherestofthatyear。AtfirstIwentuponlyfortheday；butlater，whenhishealthdidnotimprove，andwhenheexpressedawishforcompanionshipevenings，I

remainedmostofthenightsaswell。Ourroomswereseparatedonlybyabath—room；andasneitherofuswasmuchgiventosleep，therewaslikelytobetalkorreadingaloudatalmostanyhourwhenbothwereawake。IntheveryearlymorningIwouldusuallyslipin，softly，sometimestofindhimproppedupagainsthispillowssoundasleep，hisglasseson，thereading—lampblazingawayasitusuallydid，dayornight；butasoftenasnothewasawake，andwouldhavesomenewplanorideaofwhichhewaseagertobedelivered，andtherewasalwaysinterest，andnearlyalwaysamusementinit，evenifithappenedtobethreeinthemorningorearlier。

Sometimes，whenhethoughtittimeformetobestirring，hewouldcallsoftly，butloudlyenoughformetohearifawake；andIwouldgoin，andwewouldsettleagainproblemsoflifeanddeathandscience，or，rather，hewouldsettlethemwhileIdroppedinaremarkhereandthere，merelytoholdthematteralittlelongerinsolution。

Thepainsinhisbreastcameback，andwithagooddealoffrequencyasthesummeradvanced；also，theybecamemoresevere。Dr。EdwardQuintardcameupfromNewYork，anddidnothesitatetosaythatthetroubleproceededchieflyfromtheheart，andcounseleddiminishedsmoking，withlessactiveexercise，advisingparticularlyagainstClemens’slifetimehabitoflightlyskippingupanddownstairs。

Therewasnoprohibitionastobilliards，however，orleisurelywalking，andweplayedprettysteadilythroughthosepeacefulsummerdays，andoftentookawalkdownintothemeadowsorperhapsintheotherdirection，whenitwasnottoowarmorwindy。Oncewewentasfarastheriver，andIshowedhimapartofhislandhehadnotseenbefore——abeautifulcedarhillside，remoteandsecluded，aplaceofenchantment。

OnthewayIpointedoutalittlecorneroflandwhichearlierhehadgivenmetostraightenourdivisionline。ItoldhimIwasgoingtobuildastudyonit，andcallit"Markland。"Hethoughtitanadmirablebuilding—site，andIthinkhewaspleasedwiththename。Laterhesaid：

"Ifyouhadaplaceforthatextrabilliard—tableofmine[theRogerstable，whichhadbeenleftinNewYork]Iwouldturnitovertoyou。"

IrepliedthatIcouldadaptthesizeofmyproposedstudytofitabilliard—table，andhesaid：

"Nowthatwillbeverygood。Then，whenIwantexercise，Icanwalkdownandplaybilliardswithyou，andwhenyouwantexerciseyoucanwalkupandplaybilliardswithme。Youmustbuildthatstudy。"

Soitwasweplanned，andbyandbyMr。Lounsburyhadundertakenthework。

DuringthewalksClemensrestedagooddeal。ThereweretheNewEnglandhillstoclimb，andthenhefoundthathetiredeasily，andthatwearinesssometimesbroughtonthepain。AsIremembernow，Ithinkhowbravelyheboreit。Itmusthavebeenadeadly，sickening，numbingpain，forIhaveseenitcrumplehim，andhisfacebecomecolorlesswhilehishanddugathisbreast；buthenevercomplained，heneverbewailed，andatbilliardshewouldpersistingoingonandplayinginhisturn，evenwhilehewasbowedwiththeanguishoftheattack。

Wehadfoundthataglassofveryhotwaterrelievedit，andwekeptalwaysathermosbottleortwofilledandready。AtthefirsthintfromhimIwouldpouroutaglassandanother，andsometimesthereliefcamequickly；butthereweretimes，andalas！theycameoftener，whenthatdeadlygrippingdidnotsoonreleasehim。Yettherewouldcomeaweekorafortnightwhenhewasapparentlyperfectlywell，andatsuchtimeswedismissedthethoughtofanyheartmalady，andattributedthewholetroubletoacuteindigestion，fromwhichhehadalwayssufferedmoreorless。

Wewerealonetogethermostofthetime。Hedidnotappeartocareforcompanythatsummer。ClaraClemenshadaconcerttourinprospect，andherfather，eagerforhersuccess，encouragedhertodevotealargepartofhertimetostudy。ForJean，whowasinlovewitheveryformofoutdoorandanimallife，hehadestablishedheadquartersinavacantfarm—houseononecorneroftheestate，whereshehadcollectedsomestockandpoultry，andwasover—flowinglyhappy。OssipGabrilowitschwasaguestinthehouseagoodportionofthesummer，buthadbeeninvalidedthroughseveresurgicaloperations，andforalongtimerarelyappeared，evenatmeal—times。SoitcameaboutthattherecouldhardlyhavebeenacloserdailycompanionshipthanwasoursduringthisthelastyearofMarkTwain’slife。Forme，ofcourse，nothingcaneverbelikeitagaininthisworld。Oneisnotlikelytoassociatetwicewithabeingfromanotherstar。

CCLXXXII

PERSONALMEMORANDA

InthenotesImadeofthisperiodIcaughtalittledriftofpersonalityandutterance，andIdonotknowbetterhowtopreservethesethingsthantogivethemhereasnearlyasmaybeinthesequenceandintheforthinwhichtheyweresetdown。

OneofthefirstoftheseentriesoccursinJune，whenClemenswasrereadingwithgreatinterestandrelishAndrewD。White’sScienceandTheology，whichhecalledalovelybook。——[’AHistoryoftheWarfareofSciencewithTheologyinChristendom’。]

June21。Apeacefulafternoon，andwewalkedfartherthanusual，restingatlastintheshadeofatreeinthelanethatleadstoJean’sfarm—house。Ipickedadandelion—ball，withsomeremarkaboutitsbeingoneoftheevidencesoftheintelligentprincipleinnature——theseedswingedforawiderdistribution。

"Yes，"hesaid，"thosearethegreatevidences；noonewhoreasonscandoubtthem。"

Andpresentlyheadded：

"ThatisamostamusingbookofWhite’s。Whenyoureadityouseehowthoseoldtheologiansneverreasonedatall。WhitetellsofanoldbishopwhofiguredoutthatGodcreatedtheworldinaninstantonacertaindayinOctoberexactlysomanyyearsbeforeChrist，andprovedit。AndIknewapreachermyselfoncewhodeclaredthatthefossilsintherocksprovednothingastotheageoftheworld。HesaidthatGodcouldcreatetherockswiththosefossilsinthemforornamentsifHewantedto。Why，ittakestwentyyearstobuildalittleislandintheMississippiRiver，andthatmanactuallybelievedthatGodcreatedthewholeworldandallthat’sinitinsixdays。Whitetellsofanotherbishopwhogavetwonewreasonsforthunder；onebeingthatGodwantedtoshowtheworldHispower，andanotherthatHewishedtofrightensinnerstorepent。Nowconsidertheproportionsofthatconception，eveninthepettiestwayyoucanthinkofit。ConsidertheideaofGodthinkingofallthat。ConsiderthePresidentoftheUnitedStateswantingtoimpressthefliesandfleasandmosquitoes，gettinguponthedomeoftheCapitolandbeatingabass—drumandsettingoffredfire。"

Hefollowedthethemealittlefurther，thenwemadeourwayslowlybackupthelonghill，heholdingtomyarm，andrestinghereandthere，butarrivingatthehouseseeminglyfreshandreadyforbilliards。

June23。Icameupthismorningwithabasketofstrawberries。Hewaswalkingupanddown，lookinglikeanancientRoman。Hesaid：

"ConsiderthecaseofElsieSigel——[GranddaughterofGen。FranzSigel。ShewasmysteriouslymurderedwhileengagedinsettlementworkamongtheChinese。]——whataghastlyendingtoanylife！"

Thenturninguponmefiercely，hecontinued：

"Anybodythatknowsanythingknowsthattherewasnotasinglelifethatwaseverlivedthatwasworthliving。Notasinglechildeverbegottenthatthebegettingofitwasnotacrime。Supposeacommunityofpeopletobelivingontheslopeofavolcano，directlyunderthecraterandinthepathoflava—flow；thatvolcanohasbeenbreakingoutrightalongforagesandiscertaintobreakoutagain。

Theydonotknowwhenitwillbreakout，buttheyknowitwilldoit——thatmuchcanbecountedon。Supposethosepeoplegotoacommunityinafarneighborhoodandsay，’We’dliketochangeplaceswithyou。Cometakeourhomesandletushaveyours。’Thosepeoplewouldsay，’Nevermind，wearenotinterestedinyourcountry。Weknowwhathashappenedthere，andwhatwillhappenagain。’Wedon’tcaretoliveundertheblowthatislikelytofallatanymoment；

andyeteverytimewebringachildintotheworldwearebringingittoacountry，toacommunitygatheredunderthecraterofavolcano，knowingthatsoonerorlaterdeathwillcome，andthatbeforedeaththerewillbecatastrophesinfinitelyworse。Formerlyitwasmuchworsethannow，forbeforetheministersabolishedhellamanknew，whenhewasbegettingachild，thathewasbegettingasoulthathadonlyonechanceinahundredofescapingtheeternalfiresofdamnation。Heknewthatinallprobabilitythatchildwouldbebroughttodamnation——oneoftheninety—nineblacksheep。

Butsincehellhasbeenabolisheddeathhasbecomemorewelcome。

Iwroteafairystoryonce。Itwaspublishedsomewhere。Idon’trememberjustwhatitwasnow，butthesubstanceofitwasthatafairygaveamanthecustomarywishes。Iwasinterestedinseeingwhathewouldtake。Firsthechosewealthandwentawaywithit，butitdidnotbringhimhappiness。Thenhecamebackforthesecondselection，andchosefame，andthatdidnotbringhappinesseither。Finallyhewenttothefairyandchosedeath，andthefairysaid，insubstance，’Ifyouhadn’tbeenafoolyou’dhavechosenthatinthefirstplace。’

"Thepaperscalledmeapessimistforwritingthatstory。

Pessimist——themanwhoisn’tapessimistisad———dfool。"

Butthiswasoneofhissavagehumors，stirredbytragiccircumstance。

UnderdateofJuly5thIfindthishappierentry：

Wehaveinventedanewgame，three—ballcarombilliards，eachplayercontinuinguntilhehasmadefive，countingthenumberofhisshotsasingolf，theonewhofinishesinthefewershotswins。Itisagameweplaywithalmostexactlyequalskill，andheishighlypleasedwithit。Hesaidthisafternoon：

"IhaveneverenjoyedbilliardsasIdonow。Ilookforwardtoiteveryafternoonasmyrewardattheendofagoodday’swork。"——[HisworkatthistimewasanarticleonMarjorieFleming，the"wonderchild，"whosequaintwritingsandbrieflittlelifehadbeenpublishedtotheworldbyDr。JohnBrown。ClemensalwaysadoredthethoughtofMarjorie，andinthisarticleonecanseethatsherankedalmostnexttoJoanofArcinhisaffections。]

WewentoutintheloggiabyandbyandClemensreadaloudfromabookwhichProfessorZubelinlefthereafewdaysago——’TheReligionofaDemocrat’。SomethinginitmusthavesuggestedtoClemenshisfavoritescience，forpresentlyhesaid：

"Ihavebeenreadinganoldastronomy；itspeaksoftheperfectlineofcurvatureoftheearthinspiteofmountainsandabysses，andI

haveimaginedamanthreehundredthousandmileshighpickingupaballliketheearthandlookingatitandholdingitinhishand。

Itwouldbeaboutlikeabilliard—balltohim，andhewouldturnitoverinhishandandrubitwithhisthumb，andwhereherubbedoverthemountainrangeshemightsay，’Thereseemstobesomeslightroughnesshere，butIcan’tdetectitwithmyeye；itseemsperfectlysmoothtolookat。’TheHimalayastohim，thehighestpeak，wouldbeone—sixty—thousandthofhisheight，orabouttheone—

thousandthpartofaninchascomparedwiththeaverageman。"

Ispokeofhavingsomewherereadofsomeverytinysatellites，oneassmall，perhaps，assixmilesindiameter，yetagenuineworld。

"Couldamanliveonaworldsosmallasthat？"Iasked。

"Ohyes，"hesaid。"Thegravitationthatholdsittogetherwouldholdhimon，andhewouldalwaysseemupright，thesameashere。

Hishorizonwouldbesmaller，butevenifheweresixfeettallhewouldonlyhaveonefootforeachmileofthatworld’sdiameter，soyouseehewouldbelittleenough，evenforaworldthathecouldwalkaroundinhalfaday。"

Hetalkedastronomyagreatdeal——marvelastronomy。Hehadnorealknowledgeofthesubject，andIhadnoneofanykind，whichmadeitsungraspablefactsallthemorethrilling。Hewasalwaysthrownintoasortofecstasybytheunthinkabledistancesofspace——thesupremedramaoftheuniverse。ThefactthatAlphaCentauriwastwenty—fivetrillionsofmilesaway——twohundredandfiftythousandtimesthedistanceofourownremotesun，andthatoursolarsystemwastraveling，asawhole，towardthebrightstarVega，intheconstellationofLyra，attherateofforty—fourmilesasecond，yetwouldbethousandsuponthousandsofyearsreachingitsdestination，fairlyenrapturedhim。

Theastronomicallight—year——thatistosay，thedistancewhichlighttravelsinayear——wasoneofthethingswhichhelovedtocontemplate；

buthedeclaredthatnotwoauthoritieseverfigureditalike，andthathewasgoingtofigureitforhimself。Icameinonemorning，tofindthathehadcoveredseveralsheetsofpaperwithalmostinterminablerowsofciphers，andwitharesult，tohimatleast，entirelysatisfactory。

Iamquitecertainthathewasprouderofthosefiguresandtheirenormousaggregatethanifhehadjustcompletedanimmortaltale；andwhenheaddedthatthenearestfixedstar——AlphaCentauri——wasbetweenfourandfivelight—yearsdistantfromtheearth，andthattherewasnopossiblewaytothinkthatdistanceinmilesorevenanycalculablefractionofit，hisglassesshoneandhishairwasroachedupaswiththestimulationofthesestupendousfacts。

Byandbyhesaid：

"IcameinwithHalley’scometin1835。Itiscomingagainnextyear，andIexpecttogooutwithit。ItwillbethegreatestdisappointmentofmylifeifIdon’tgooutwithHalley’scomet。TheAlmightyhassaid，nodoubt：’Nowherearethesetwounaccountablefreaks；theycameintogether，theymustgoouttogether。’Oh！Iamlookingforwardtothat。"Andalittlelaterheadded：

"I’vegotsomekindofaheartdisease，andQuintardwon’ttellmewhetheritisthekindthatcarriesamanoffinaninstantorkeepshimlingeringalongandsufferingfortwentyyearsorso。IwasinhopesthatQuintardwouldtellmethatIwaslikelytodropdeadanyminute；

buthedidn’t。Heonlytoldmethatmyblood—pressurewastoostrong。

Hedidn’tgivemeanyschedule；butIexpecttogowithHalley’scomet。"

Iseemtohaveomittedmakinganyentriesforafewdays；butamonghisnotesIfindthisentry，whichseemstorefertosomediscussionofafavoritephilosophy，andhasaspecialinterestofitsown：

July14，1909。Yesterday’sdisputeresumed，Istillmaintainingthat，whereaswecanthink，wegenerallydon’tdoit。Don’tdoit，&don’thavetodoit：weareautomaticmachineswhichactunconsciously。Frommorni