第16章

Outwardlyhewascalmenough，andwhathesaidwasdelicateandbeautiful，thekindofthingthathecouldsaysowell。Itseemsfittingthatitshouldbeincludedhere，themoresothatittellsastorynotelsewhererecorded。Thisisthespeechinfull：

MR。CHAIRMAN，LADIES，ANDGENTLEMEN，——IwouldhavetraveledamuchgreaterdistancethanIhavecometowitnessthepayingofhonorstoDr。Holmes，formyfeelingtowardhimhasalwaysbeenoneofpeculiarwarmth。Whenonereceivesaletterfromagreatmanforthefirsttimeinhislifeitisalargeeventtohim，asallofyouknowbyyourownexperience。Younevercanreceivelettersenoughfromfamousmenafterwardtoobliteratethatoneordimthememoryofthepleasantsurpriseitwasandthegratificationitgaveyou。

Lapseoftimecannotmakeitcommonplaceorcheap。Well，thefirstgreatmanwhoeverwrotemealetterwasourguest，OliverWendellHolmes。HewasalsothefirstgreatliterarymanIeverstoleanythingfrom，andthatishowIcametowritetohimandhetome。

Whenmyfirstbookwasnewafriendofminesaid，"Thededicationisveryneat。"Yes，Isaid，Ithoughtitwas。Myfriendsaid，"Ialwaysadmiredit，evenbeforeIsawitinTheInnocentsAbroad。"

Inaturallysaid，"Whatdoyoumean？Wheredidyoueverseeitbefore？""Well，Isawitfirst，someyearsago，asDr。Holmes’sdedicationtohisSongsinManyKeys。"Ofcoursemyfirstimpulsewastopreparethisman’sremainsforburial，butuponreflectionI

saidIwouldreprievehimforamomentortwo，andgivehimachancetoprovehisassertionifhecould。Westeppedintoabook—store。

andhedidproveit。Ihadstolenthatdedicationalmostwordforword。Icouldnotimaginehowthiscuriousthinghappened；forI

knewonething，foradeadcertainty——thatacertainamountofpridealwaysgoesalongwithateaspoonfulofbrains，andthatthisprideprotectsamanfromdeliberatelystealingotherpeople’sideas。

Thatiswhatateaspoonfulofbrainswilldoforaman，andadmirershadoftentoldmeIhadnearlyabasketful，thoughtheywereratherreservedastothesizeofthebasket。However，Ithoughtthethingoutandsolvedthemystery。SomeyearsbeforeIhadbeenlaidupacoupleofweeksintheSandwichIslands，andhadreadandrereadDr。

Holmes’spoemstillmymentalreservoirwasfilledwiththemtothebrim。Thededicationlayontopandhandy，sobyandbyI

unconsciouslytookit。Well，ofcourse，IwrotetoDr。HolmesandtoldhimIhadn’tmeanttosteal，andhewrotebackandsaid，inthekindestway，thatitwasallright，andnoharmdone，andaddedthathebelievedweallunconsciouslyworkedoverideasgatheredinreadingandhearing，imaginingtheywereoriginalwithourselves。

Hestatedatruthanddiditinsuchapleasantway，andsalvedovermysorespotsogentlyandsohealingly，thatIwasrathergladI

hadcommittedthecrime，forthesakeoftheletter。Iafterwardcalledonhimandtoldhimtomakeperfectlyfreewithanyideasofminethatstruckhimasgoodprotoplasmforpoetry。Hecouldseebythattimethattherewasn’tanythingmeanaboutme；sowegotalong，rightfromthestart。——[Holmesinhisletterhadsaid："IratherthinkTheInnocentsAbroadwillhavemanymorereadersthanSongsinManyKeys……Youwillbestolenfromagreatdealoftenerthanyouwillborrowfromotherpeople。"]

IhavemetDr。Holmesmanytimessince；andlatelyhesaid——However，IamwanderingwildlyawayfromtheonethingwhichIgotonmyfeettodo；thatis，tomakemycomplimentstoyou，myfellow—teachersofthegreatpublic，andlikewisetosayIamrightgladtoseethatDr。Holmesisstillinhisprimeandfullofgenerouslife，andasageisnotdeterminedbyyearsbutbytrouble，andbyinfirmitiesofmindandbody，Ihopeitmaybeaverylongtimeyetbeforeanycantruthfullysay，"Heisgrowingold。"

WhateverMarkTwainmayhavelostonthatformeroccasion，camebacktohimmultipliedwhenhehadfinishedthishappytribute。Sotheyearforhimclosedprosperously。Therainbowofpromisewasjustified。

CXXV

THEQUIETERTHINGSOFHOME

UpsetanddisturbedasMarkTwainoftenwas，heseldompermittedhisdistractionstointerferewiththeprogramofhisfireside。Hisdaysandhisnightsmightbefevered，buttheeveningsbelongedtoanotherworld。

ThelongEuropeanwanderinglefthimmorethaneverenamouredofhishome；tohimithadneverbeensosweetbefore，sobeautiful，sofullofpeace。Companycame：distinguishedguestsandtheoldneighborhoodcircles。Dinner—partiesweremorefrequentthanever，andtheywerelikelytobebrilliantaffairs。Thebestminds，thebrightestwits，gatheredaroundMarkTwain’stable。Booth，Barrett，Irving，Sheridan，Sherman，Howells，Aldrich：theyallassembled，andmanymore。TherewasalwayssomeoneonthewaytoBostonorNewYorkwhoaddressedhimselfforthedayorthenight，orforabriefcall，totheMarkTwainfireside。

Certainvisitorsfromforeignlandsweresurprisedathisenvironment，possiblyexpectingtofindhimamonglesssubstantial，morebohemiansurroundings。HenryDrummond，theauthorofNaturalLawintheSpiritualWorld，inaletterofthistime，said：

IhadadelightfuldayatHartfordlastWednesday……CalledonMarkTwain，Mrs。HarrietBeecherStowe，andthewidowofHoraceBushnell。IwaswishingA————hadbeenattheMarkTwaininterview。

Heisfunnierthananyofhisbooks，andtomysurpriseamostrespectedcitizen，devotedtothingsesthetic，andthefriendofthepoorandstruggling。——[LifeofHenryDrummond，byGeorgeAdamSmith。]

Thequietereveningswerenolessdelightful。Clemensdidnotoftengoout。Helovedhisownhomebest。Thechildrenwereoldenoughnowtotakepartinaformofentertainmentthatgavehimandthemespecialpleasure—actingcharades。Theseheinventedforthem，andcostumedthelittleperformers，andjoinedintheactingasenthusiasticallyandasunrestrainedlyasifhewerebackinthatfrolicsomeboyhoodonJohnQuarles’sfarm。TheWarnerandTwichellchildrenwereoftenthereandtookpartinthegayamusements。Thechildrenofthatneighborhoodplayedtheirimpromptupartswellandnaturally。Theywereinadramaticatmosphere，andhadbeenfrominfancy。Therewasneveranypreparationforthecharades。Awordwasselectedandthepartsofitwerewhisperedtothelittleactors。Thentheywithdrewtothehall，whereallsortsofcostumeshadbeenlaidoutfortheevening，dressedtheirparts，andeachdetachmentmarchedintothelibrary，performeditssyllableandretired，leavingtheaudience，mainlycomposedofparents，toguesstheanswer。

Oftentheyinventedtheirownwords，didtheirowncostuming，andconductedtheentireperformanceindependentofgrown—upassistanceorinterference。Nowandthen，evenatthisearlyperiod，theyconceivedandproducedlittleplays，andofcoursetheirfathercouldnotresistjoininginthese。Atothertimes，evenings，afterdinner，hewouldsitatthepianoandrecalltheolddarkysongs—spiritualsandjubileechoruses—singingthemwithfinespirit，ifnotwithperfecttechnic，thechildrenjoininginthesemovingmelodies。

Helovedtoreadaloudtothem。ItwashishabittoreadhismanuscripttoMrs。Clemens，and，nowthatthechildrenwereolder，hewaslikelytoincludetheminhiscriticalaudience。

ItwouldseemtohavebeenthewinteraftertheirreturnfromEuropethatthiscustomwasinaugurated，for’ThePrinceandthePauper’manuscriptwasthefirstonesoread，anditwasjustthenhewasresumingworkonthistale。Eachafternoonorevening，whenhehadfinishedhischapter，heassembledhislittleaudienceandreadthemtheresult。Thechildrenwereoldenoughtodelightinthathalfreal，halffairytaleofthewanderingprinceandtheroyalpauper：andthecharmandsimplicityofthestoryaremeasurablyduetothosetwosmalllisteners，towhomitwasadaptedinthatearlydayofitscreation。

ClemensfoundthePrinceablessedrelieffrom’ATrampAbroad’，whichhadbecomeaveritablenightmare。Hehadthoughtitfinishedwhenheleftthefarm，butdiscoveredthathemustaddseveralhundredpagestocompleteitsbulk。Itseemedtohimthathehadbeengivenalife—

sentence。Hewrotesixhundredpagesandtoreupallbuttwohundredandeighty—eight。Hewasabouttodestroytheseandbeginagain，whenMrs。

Clemens’shealthbecamepoorandhewasadvisedtotakehertoElmira，thoughitwasthenmidwinter。ToHowellshewrote：

Isaid，"ifthereisonedeaththatispainfulerthananother，mayI

getitifIdon’tdothatthing。"

SoItookthe288pagestoBlissandtoldhimthatwastheverylastlineIshouldeverwriteonthisbook(abookwhichrequired600

pagesofMS。，andIhavewrittennearlyfourthousand，firstandlast)。

Iamassoary(andflighty)asarocketto—day，withtheunutterablejoyofgettingthatOldManoftheSeaoffmyback，wherehehasbeenroostingmorethanayearandahalf。

TheyremainedamonthatElmira，andontheirreturnClemensrenewedworkon’ThePrinceandthePauper’。HereportedtoHowellsthatifheneversoldacopyhisjubilantdelightinwritingitwouldsuffernodiminution。Aweeklaterhisenthusiasmhadstillfurtherincreased：

ItakesomuchpleasureinmystorythatIamloathtohurry，notwantingtogetitdone。DidIevertellyoutheplotofit？Itbeginsat9A。M。，January27，1547。

Hefollowswithadetailedsynopsisofhisplot，whichinthisinstancehehadworkedoutwithunusualcompleteness——afactwhichlargelyaccountsfortheunityofthetale。Thenheadds：

Myideaistoaffordarealizingsenseoftheexceedingseverityofthelawsofthatdaybyinflictingsomeoftheirpenaltiesuponthekinghimself，andallowinghimachancetoseetherestofthemappliedtoothers；allofwhichistoaccountforcertainmildnesseswhichdistinguishedEdwardVI。’sreignfromthosethatprecedeitandfollowit。

Imaginethisfact：IhaveevenfascinatedMrs。Clemenswiththisyarnforyouth。Mystuffgenerallygetsconsiderabledamningwithfaintpraiseoutofher，butthistimeitisalltheotherway。Sheisbecomethehorse—leech’sdaughter，andmymilldoesn’tgrindfastenoughtosuither。Thisisnomeantriumph，mydearsir。

Heforgot，perhaps，tomentionhissmallerauditors，butwemaybelievetheywerenolesseagerintheirdemandsforthetale’scontinuance。

CXXVI

"ATRAMPABROAD"

’ATrampAbroad’camefromthepressesonthe13thofMarch，1880。Ithadbeenwidelyheralded，andtherewasanadvancesaleoftwenty—fivethousandcopies。ItwasofthesamegeneralsizeandoutwardcharacterastheInnocents，numerouslyillustrated，andwasregardedbyitspublishersasasatisfactorybook。

ItborenoverystrikingresemblancetotheInnocentsoncloseexamination。Itspictures—drawn，forthemostpart，byayoungartstudentnamedBrown，whomClemenshadmetinParis——wereextraordinarilybad，whilethecrudeengravingprocessbywhichtheyhadbeenreproduced；

tendedtobringthemstillfurtherintodisrepute。AfewdrawingsbyTrueWilliamswerebetter，andthosedrawnbyClemenshimselfhadavalueoftheirown。Thebookwouldhaveprofitedhadtherebeenmoreofwhattheauthorcallshis"worksofart。"

MarkTwainhimselfhaddubiousanticipationsastothebook’sreception。

ButHowellswrote：

Well，youareablessing。YououghttobelieveinGod’sgoodness，sincehehasbestowedupontheworldsuchadelightfulgeniusasyourstolightenitstroubles。

Clemensreplied：

YourpraiseshavebeenthegreatestupliftIeverhad。Whenabodyisnotevenremotelyexpectingsuchthings，howthesurprisetakesthebreathaway！Wehadbeeninterpretingyourstillnesstomelancholyanddepression，causedbythatbook。Thisishonest。

Why，everythinglooksbrighternow。Acheckforuntoldcashcouldnothavemadeourheartssingasyourletterhasdone。

AletterfromTauchnitz，proposingtoissueanillustratededitioninGermany，besidesputtingitintohisregularseries，wasanaddedsatisfaction。TobeinaTauchnitzserieswasofitselfarecognitionofthebook’smerit。

ToTwichell，ClemenspresentedaspecialcopyoftheTrampwithapersonalinscription，whichmustnotbeomittedhere：

MYDEAR"HARRIS"——NO，IMEANMYDEARJOE，——Justimagineitforamoment：IwascollectingmaterialinEuropeduringfourteenmonthsforabook，andnowthatthethingisprintedIfindthatyou，whowerewithmeonlyamonthandahalfofthefourteen，areinactualpresence(notimaginary)in440ofthe531pagesthebookcontains！

Hangit，ifyouhadstayedathomeitwouldhavetakenmefourteenyearstogetthematerial。Youhavesavedmeanintolerablewholeworldofhatedlabor，andI’llnotforgetit，myboy。

You’llfindremindersofthings，allalong，thathappenedtous，andofothersthatdidn’thappen；butyou’llrememberthespotwheretheywereinvented。YouwillseehowtheimaginaryperiloustripuptheRiffelbergispreposterouslyexpanded。Thathorse—studentisonpage192。The"Fremersberg"isneighboring。TheBlackForestnovelisonpage211。Irememberwhenandwhereweprojectedthat：intheleafygladeswiththemountainsublimitiesdozinginthebluehazebeyondthegorgeofAllerheiligen。There’sthe"newmember，"page213；thedentistyarn，223；thetrueChamois，242；atpage248isaprettylongyarn，spunfromamightybrieftextmeeting，foramoment，thatprettygirlwhoknewmeandwhomIhadforgotten；at281is"Harris，"andshouldhavebeensoentitled，butBlisshasmadeamistakeandturnedyouintosomeothercharacter；305bringsbackthewholeRigitramptomeataglance；at185and186arespecimensofmyart；andthefrontispieceisthecombinationwhichI

madebypastingonefamiliarpictureoverthelowerhalfofanequallyfamiliarone。ThisfineworkbeingworthyofTitian，Ihaveshedthecreditofituponhim。Well，you’llfindmoreremindersofthingsscatteredthroughherethanareprinted，orcouldhavebeenprinted，inmanybooks。

Allthe"legendsoftheNeckar，"whichIinventedforthatunstoriedregion，arehere；oneisintheAppendix。Thesteelportraitofmeisjustaboutperfect。

Wehadamightygood。time，Joe，andthesixweeksIwoulddearlyliketorepeatanytime；buttherestofthefourteenmonths—never。

Withlove，Yours，MARK。

Hartford，March16，1880。

PossiblyTwichellhadvaguedoubtsconcerningabookofwhichhewassolargeapart，anditsfavorablereceptionbythecriticsandthepublicgenerallywasagreatcomfort。WhentheHowellsletterwasreadtohimheisreportedashavingsatwithhishandsonhisknees，hisheadbentforward——afavoriteattitude——repeatingatintervals：

"Howellssaidthat，didhe？OldHowellssaidthat！"

Therehavebeenmanyandvaryingopinionssincethenastotheliterarymeritsof’ATrampAbroad’。Humantastesdiffer，anda"mixed"bookofthiskindinvitesasmanyopinionsasithaschapters。Theword"uneven"

prettysafelydescribesanybookofsize，butithasaspecialapplicationtothisone。Writtenundergreatstressanduncertaintyofmind，itcouldhardlybeuniform。ItpresentsMarkTwainathisbest，andathisworst。AlmostanyAmericanwriterwasbetterthanMarkTwainathisworst：MarkTwainathisbestwasunapproachable。

Itisinevitablethat’ATrampAbroad’and’TheInnocentsAbroad’shouldbecompared，thoughwithhardlythewarrantofsimilarity。Thebooksareasdifferentaswastheirauthorattheperiodswhentheywerewritten。

’ATrampAbroad’istheworkofamanwhowastravelingandobservingforthepurposeofwritingabook，andfornootherreason。TheInnocentsAbroadwaswrittenbyamanwhowasrevelingineverysceneandexperience，everynewphaseandprospect；whosesoulwasalivetoeveryhistoricassociation，andtoeveryhumorthatagaypartyofyoungsight—

seerscouldfindalongtheway。Thenote—booksofthattripfairlyglowwiththeinspirationofit；thoseofthelaterwanderingsaremainlyfilledwithbrief，terserecords，interspersedwithsatireanddenunciation。Inthe’Innocents’thewriteristheenthusiastwithasenseofhumor。Inthe’Tramp’hehasstillthesenseofhumor，buthehasbecomeacynic；restrained，butacynicnonetheless。Inthe’Innocents’helaughsatdelusionsandfallacies——andenjoysthem。Inthe’Tramp’helaughsathumanfoiblesandaffectations——andwantstosmashthem。Veryoftenhedoesnotlaughheartilyandsincerelyatall，butfindshishumorinextravagantburlesque。Inlaterlifehisgentlerlaughter，hisold，untroubledenjoymentofhumanweakness，wouldreturn，butjustnowhewasinthatmiddleperiod，whenthe"damnedhumanrace"

amusedhimindeed，thoughlesstenderly。(Itseemspropertoexplainthatinapplyingthistermtomankindhedidnotmeanthattheracewasforedoomed，butratherthatitoughttobe。)

Readingthe’Innocents’，theconvictiongrowsthat，withallitsfaults，itisliteraturefrombeginningtoend。Readingthe’Tramp’，thesuspicionarisesthat，regardlessoftechnicalimprovement，itspercentageofliteratureisnotlarge。Yet，asnotedinanearliervolume，soeminentacriticasBranderMatthewshaspronouncedinitsfavor，andheundoubtedlyhadanumerousfollowing；Howellsexpressed。

hisdelightinthebookatthetimeofitsissue，thoughonewondershowfarthepersonalelemententeredintohisenjoyment，andwhatwouldbehisfinaldecisionifhereadthetwobookssidebysideto—day。Hereviewed’ATrampAbroad’adequatelyandfinelyintheAtlantic，andjustly；foronthewholeitisavastlyentertainingbook，andhedidnotoverpraiseit。

’ATrampAbroad’hadan"Introduction"inthemanuscript，apleasantwordtothereaderbutnotanecessaryone，andeventuallyitwasomitted。

Fortunatelytheappendixremained。Beyondquestionitcontainssomeoftheverybestthingsinthebook。ThedescriptionsoftheGermanPortierandtheGermannewspaperarehappyenough，andtheessayontheawfulGermanlanguageisoneofMarkTwain’ssupremebitsofhumor。ItisMarkTwainathisbest；MarkTwaininafieldwherehehadnorival，thefieldofgood—natured，sincerefun—making—ridiculeofthemanifestabsurditiesofsomenationalcustomorinstitutionwhichthenationitselfcouldenjoy，whiletheindividualsufferednowound。ThepresentEmperorofGermanyissaidtofindcomfortinthisessayonhisnationalspeechwhenallotheramusementsfail。Itisdeliciousbeyondwordstoexpress；itisunique。

Inthebodyofthebooktherearealsomanydelights。ThedescriptionoftheantmightranknexttotheGermanlanguagealmostinitshumor，andthemeetingwiththeunrecognizedgirlatLucernehasalivelycharm。

Oftheseriousmatter，someoftheword—picturesareflawlessintheirbeauty；this，forinstance，suggestedbytheviewoftheJungfraufromInterlaken：

Therewassomethingsubduingintheinfluenceofthatsilentandsolemnandawfulpresence；oneseemedtomeettheimmutable，theindestructible，theeternal，facetoface，andtofeelthetrivialandfleetingnatureofhisownexistencethemoresharplybythecontrast。Onehadthesenseofbeingunderthebroodingcontemplationofaspirit，notaninertmassofrocksandice——aspiritwhichhadlookeddown，throughtheslowdriftofages，uponamillionvanishedracesofmenandjudgedthem；andwouldjudgeamillionmore——andstillbethere，watchingunchangedandunchangeable，afteralllifeshouldbegoneandtheearthhavebecomeavacantdesolationWhileIwasfeelingthesethings，Iwasgroping，withoutknowingit，towardanunderstandingofwhatthespelliswhichpeoplefindintheAlps，andinnoothermountains；thatstrange，deep，namelessinfluencewhich，oncefelt，cannotbeforgotten；oncefelt，leavesalwaysbehinditarestlesslongingtofeelitagain——alongingwhichislikehomesickness；agrieving，hauntingyearning，whichwillplead，implore，andpersecutetillithasitswill。Imetdozensofpeople，imaginativeandunimaginative，cultivatedanduncultivated，whohadcomefromfarcountriesandroamedthroughtheSwissAlpsyearafteryear——theycouldnotexplainwhy。Theyhadcomefirst，theysaid，outofidlecuriosity，becauseeverybodytalkedaboutit；theyhadcomesincebecausetheycouldnothelpit，andtheyshouldkeeponcoming，whiletheylived，forthesamereason；theyhadtriedtobreaktheirchainsandstayaway，butitwasfutile；nowtheyhadnodesiretobreakthem。Otherscamenearerformulatingwhattheyfelt；theysaidtheycouldfindperfectrestandpeacenowhereelsewhentheyweretroubled：allfretsandworriesandchafingssanktosleepinthepresenceofthebenignantserenityoftheAlps；theGreatSpiritofthemountainbreathedhisownpeaceupontheirhurtmindsandsorehearts，andhealedthem；

theycouldnotthinkbasethoughtsordomeanandsordidthingshere，beforethevisiblethroneofGod。

Indeed，alltheseriousmatterinthebookisgood。Thereader’schiefregretislikelytobethatthereisnotmoreofit。Themaindifficultywiththehumoristhatitseemsoverdone。Itislikelytobecarriedtoofar，andcontinuedtoolong。TheascentofRiffelbergisanexample。

Thoughspottedwithdelightsitseems，toonereaderatleast，lessadmirablethanotherofthebook’simportantfeatures，striking，asitdoes，moreemphaticallythechiefnoteofthebook’shumor——thatistosay，exaggeration。

Withoutdoubttheremustbemany——verymany——whoagreeinfindingafullerenjoymentin’ATrampAbroad’thaninthe’Innocents’；only，theburdenoftheworld’sopinionliestheotherway。Theworldhasaweaknessforitsillusions：thesplendorthatfallsoncastlewalls，thegloryofthehillsatevening，thepathosofthedaysthatarenomore。

Itanswerstotenderness，evenonthepageofhumor，andtogenuineenthusiasm，sharplysensingthelackofthesethings；instinctivelyresenting，evenwhenmostamusedbyit，extravaganceandburlesque。TheInnocentsAbroadismoresoul—satisfyingthanitssuccessor，morepoetic；

moresentimental，ifyouwill。TheTrampcontainsbetterEnglishusage，withoutdoubt，butitislessfullofhappinessandbloomandthehaloofromance。Theheartoftheworldhasfeltthis，andhasdemandedthebookinfewernumbers。——[ThesalesoftheInnocentsduringtheearlieryearsmorethandoubledthoseoftheTrampduringasimilarperiod。Thelaterratioofpopularityismorenearlythreetoone。IthasbeenrepeatedlystatedthatinEnglandtheTramphasthegreaterpopularity，anassertionnotsustainedbythepublisher’saccountings。]

CXXVII

LETTERS，TALES，ANDPLANS

ThereaderhasnotfailedtoremarkthegreatnumberofletterswhichSamuelClemenswrotetohisfriendWilliamDeanHowells；yetcomparativelyfewcanevenbementioned。HewasalwayswritingtoHowells，oneverysubjectunderthesun；whatevercameintohismind——

business，literature，personalaffairs——hemustwriteaboutittoHowells。Once，whennothingbetteroccurred，hesenthimaseriesoftelegrams，eachastanzafromanoldhymn，possiblythinkingtheymightcarrycomfort。——["Clemenshadthenandformanyyearsthehabitofwritingtomeaboutwhathewasdoing，andstillmoreofwhathewasexperiencing。Nothingstruckhisimagination，inoroutofthedailyroutine，buthewishedtowritemeofit，andhewrotewiththegreatestfullnessandalavishdramatization，sometimestothelengthoftwentyorfortypages："(MyMarkTwain，byW。D。Howells。)]WhateverofpicturesquehappenedinthehouseholdheimmediatelysetitdownforHowells’sentertainment。Someofthesedomesticincidentscarrytheflavorofhisbesthumor。Oncehewrote：

Lastnight，whenIwenttobed，Mrs。Clemenssaid，"Georgedidn’ttakethecatdowntothecellar；Rosasayshehasleftitshutupintheconservatory。"SoIwentdowntoattendtoAbner(thecat)。

AboutthreeinthemorningMrs。C。wokemeandsaid，"IdobelieveIhearthatcatinthedrawing—room。Whatdidyoudowithhim？"I

answeredwiththeconfidenceofamanwhohasmanagedtodotherightthingforonce，andsaid，"Iopenedtheconservatorydoors，tookthelibraryoffthealarm，andspreadeverythingopen，sothattherewasn’tanyobstructionbetweenhimandthecellar。"Languagewasn’tcapableofconveyingthiswoman’sdisgust。Butthesenseofwhatshesaidwas，"Hecouldn’thavedoneanyharmintheconservatory；soyoumustgoandmaketheentirehousefreetohimandtheburglars，imaginingthathewillpreferthecoal—binstothedrawing—room。IfyouhadhadMr。HowellstohelpyouIshouldhaveadmired，butnothavebeenastonished，becauseIshouldknowthattogetheryouwouldbeequaltoit；buthowyoumanagedtocontrivesuchastatelyblunderallbyyourselfiswhatIcannotunderstand。"

So，yousee，evensheknowshowtoapprecaiteourgifts……

Iknockedoffduringthesestirringhours，anddon’tintendtogotoworkagaintillwegoawayforthesummer，fourorsixweekshence。

SoIamwritingtoyou，notbecauseIhaveanythingtosay，butbecauseyoudon’thavetoanswerandIneedsomethingtodothisafternoon。

Therightfulearlhas————

Friday，7th。

Well，nevermindabouttherightfulearl；hemerelywantedto—borrowmoney。IneverknewanAmericanearlthatdidn’t。

AfteratriptoBoston，duringwhichMrs。Clemensdidsomebric—a—bracshopping，hewrote：

Mrs。Clemenshastwoimperishabletopicsnow：themuseumofandironswhichshecollectedandyourdinner。Itishardtotellwhichsheadmiresthemost。Sometimessheleansonewayandsometimestheother；butIleanprettysteadilytowardthedinnerbecauseIcanappreciatethat，whereasIamnoprophetinandirons。TherehasbeenaprocessionofAdamsExpresswagonsfilingbeforethedooralldaydeliveringandirons。

InamoreseriousveinhereferstotheagedviolinistOleBullandhiswife，whomtheyhadmetduringtheirvisit，andtheirenjoymentofthatgentle—heartedpair。

Clemensdidsomeshorterworkthatspring，mostofwhichfounditswayintotheAtlantic。"EdwardMillsandGeorgeBenton，"oneofthecontributionsofthistime，isamoralsermoninitspresentationofapitifulhumanspectacleandmisdirectedhumanzeal。

Itbroughtapackoflettersofapproval，notonlyfromlaity，butthechurch，andinsomemeasuremayhavehelpedtodestroythesillysentimentalismwhichmanifesteditselfinmakingheroesofspectacularcriminals。Thatfashionhasgoneout，largely。MarkTwainwrotefrequentlyonthesubject，thoughnevermoreeffectivelythaninthisparticularinstance。"Mrs。McWilliamsandtheLightning"wasanotherAtlanticstory，acompanionpieceto"Mrs。McWilliams’sExperiencewiththeMembranousCroup，"andinthesamedelightfulvein——aveininwhichMarkTwainwaslikelytobeathisbest——thetranscriptionofascenenotsofarremovedincharacterfromthatinthe"cat"letterjustquoted：

somethingwhichmayormaynothavehappened，butmighthavehappened，approximatelyassetdown。RoseTerryCookewrote：

Horridman，howdidyouknowthewayIbehaveinathunderstorm？

Haveyoubeensecretedintheclosetorlurkingontheshedroof？

Ihopeyougotthoroughlyrainedon；andworstofallisthatyoumademelaughatmyself；myrealterrorsturnedroundandgrimacedatme：theyweresublime，andyouhavemadethemridiculousjustcomeouthereanotheryearandhavefourhouseswithinafewrodsofyoustruckandthenseeifyouwriteanarticleofsuchexasperatinglevity。Ireallyhateyou，butyouarefunny。

Inadditiontohisownwork，heconceivedaplanforOrion。Clemenshimselfhadbeenattempting，fromtimetotime，anabsolutelyfaithfulautobiography；adocumentinwhichhisdeedsandmisdeeds，evenhismoodsandinmostthoughts，shouldbetrulysetdown。Hehadfounditanimpossibletask。Heconfessedfreelythathelackedthecourage，eventheactualability，topenthewordsthatwouldlayhissoulbare，buthebelievedOrionequaltothetask。Heknewhowrigidlyhonesthewas，howreadytoconfesshisshortcomings，howeagertobeemployedatsomeliteraryoccupation。ItwasMarkTwain’sbeliefthatifOrionwouldrecordindetailhislong，wearystruggle，hissuccessionofattemptsandfailures，hispastdreamsanddisappointments，alongwithhissinsofomissionandcommission，itwouldmakeoneofthosepricelesshumandocumentssuchashavebeenleftbyBenvenutoCellini，Cazenova，andRousseau。

"Simplytellyourstorytoyourself，"hewrote，"layingallhideousnessutterlybare，reservingnothing。Banishtheideaoftheaudienceandallhamperingthings。"

Orion，outinKeokuk，hadlongsinceabandonedthechickenfarmandavarietyofotherenterprises。Hehadprospectedinsurance，mining，journalism，hisoldtradeofprinting，andhadtakendownandhunguphislawshinglebetweeneachoftheseseizures。Asidefrombusiness，too，hehadbeenhavingaratherspectacularexperience。Hehadchangedhispoliticsthreetimes(twiceinoneday)，andhisreligionasmanymore。

Oncewhenhewasdeliveringapoliticalharangueinthestreet，atnight，aparadeoftheopposition(hehadbutjustabandonedthem)marchedbycarryingcertainflamingtransparencies，whichhehimselfhadmadeforthemthedaybefore。Finally，afterdeliveringaseriesofinfidellectures；hehadbeenexcommunicatedandcondemnedtoeternalflamesbythePresbyterianChurch。Hewasthereforeripeforanynewdiversion，andtheAutobiographyappealedtohim。Hesetaboutitwithsplendidenthusiasm，wroteahundredpagesorsoofhischildhoodwithastartlingminutiaofdetailandfrankness，andmailedthemtohisbrotherforinspection。

TheywereallthatMarkTwainhadexpected；morethanhehadexpected。

HeforwardedthemtoHowellswithgreatsatisfaction，suggesting，withcertainexcisions，theybeofferedanonymouslytotheAtlanticreaders。

ButHowells’stasteforrealismhaditslimitations。Hefoundthestoryinteresting——indeed，torturingly，heart—wringinglyso——and，advisingstronglyagainstitspublication，returnedit。

Onionwassteamingalongattherateoftentotwentypagesadaynow，forwardingthemasfastaswritten，whilehiscouragewasgoodandthefireswarm。Clemens，receivingapackagebyeverymorningmail，soonlostinterest，thendevelopedahuntedfeeling，becomingfinallydesperate。HewrotewildlytoshutOrionoff，urginghimtolethismanuscriptaccumulate，andtosenditinonelargeconsignmentattheend。ThisOriondid，anditisfairtosaythatinthisinstanceatleasthestucktohisworkfaithfullytothebitter，dishearteningend。

AnditwouldhavebeenallthatMarkTwainhaddreameditwouldbe，hadOrionmaintainedthesimplenarrativespiritofitsearlypages。Buthedriftedoffintotheologicalbyways；intodiscussionsofhisexcommunicationandinfidelities，whichwerefrankenough，butlackedhumaninterest。

InoldageMarkTwainoncereferredtoOrion’sautobiographyinprintandhisowndisappointmentinit，whichheattributedtoOrion’shavingdepartedfromtheideaoffrankandunrestrictedconfessiontoexalthimselfasahero—astatementaltogetherunwarranted，andduetooneofthosecuriousconfusionsofmemoryandimaginationthatmorethanonceresultedinacompletereversalofthefacts。AquantityofOrion’smanuscripthasbeenlostanddestroyed，butenoughfragmentsofitremaintoshowitsfidelitytotheoriginalplan。Itisjustonelongrecordoffleetinghope，futileeffort，andhumiliation。Itisthestoryofalifeofdisappointment；ofamanwhohasbeendefeatedandbeatendownandcrushedbytheworlduntilhehasnothingbutconfessionlefttosurrender。——[Howells，inhisletterconcerningtheopeningchapters，saidthattheywouldsomedaymakegoodmaterial。Fortunatelytheearliestofthesechapterswerepreserved，and，asthereadermayremember，furnishedmuchofthechildhooddetailsforthisbiography。]

WhatevermayhavebeenMarkTwain’slaterimpressionofhisbrother’smanuscript，itsstoryoffailureanddisappointmentmovedhimtodefiniteactionatthetime。

Severalyearsbefore，inHartford，Orionhadurgedhimtomakehispublishingcontractsonabasisofhalfprofits，insteadofontheroyaltyplan。Clemens，rememberingthis，hadinsistedonsuchanarrangementforthepublicationof’ATrampAbroad’，andwhenhisfirststatementcameinherealizedthatthenewcontractwasverylargelytohisadvantage。HerememberedOrion’sanxietyinthematter，andmadeitnowavalidexcuseforplacinghisbrotheronafirmfinancialfooting。

Outofthesuspicionswhichyoubredinmeyearsagohasgrownthisresult，towit：thatIshallwithinthetwelvemonthsget$40，000outofthisTramp，insteadof$20，000。$20，000，aftertaxesandotherexpensesarestrippedaway，isworthtotheinvestorabout$75amonth，soIshalltellMr。Perkins[hislawyerandfinancialagent]tomakeyourcheckthatamountpermonthhereafter……Thisendstheloanbusiness，andhereafteryoucanreflectthatyouarelivingnotonborrowedmoney，butonmoneywhichyouhavesquarelyearned，andwhichhasnotaintorsavorofcharityaboutit，andyoucanalsoreflectthatthemoneywhichyouhavebeenreceivingofmeischargedagainsttheheavybillwhichthenextpublisherwillhavetostandwhogetsabookofmine。

>FromthattimeforwardOrionClemenswasworthsubstantiallytwentythousanddollars——tillthedayofhisdeath，and，afterhim，hiswidow。

Farbetterwasitforhimthattheendowmentbeconferredintheformofanincome，thanhadthecapitalamountbeenplacedinhishands。

CXXVIII

MARKTWAIN’sABSENT—MINDEDNESS

AnumberofamusingincidentshavebeenmoreorlessaccuratelyreportedconcerningMarkTwain’sdimperceptionofcertainphysicalsurroundings，andhisvagueresultingmemories——hisabsent—mindedness，aswesay。

Itwasnotthathewasinattentive——nomanwaseverlesssoifthesubjectinterestedhim——butonlythatthecasual，incidentalthingseemednottofindafixedplaceinhisdeeperconsciousness。

BynomeanswasMarkTwain’sabsent—mindednessadevelopmentofoldage。

Onthetwooccasionsfollowinghewasintheveryheydayofhismentalstrength。Especiallywasit，whenhewasengageduponsomeabsorbingordifficultpieceofliterature，thathismindseemedtofoldupandshutmostoftheworldaway。SoonafterhisreturnfromEurope，whenhewasstillstrugglingwith’ATrampAbroad’，hewearilyputthemanuscriptaside，oneday，andsetouttoinviteF。G。Whitmoreoverforagameofbilliards。Whitmorelivedonlyalittlewaydownthestreet，andClemenshadbeentheretimeandagain。Itwassuchabriefdistancethathestartedoutinhisslippersandwithnohat。Butwhenhereachedthecornerwherethehouse，astone’s—throwaway，wasinplainviewhestopped。Hedidnotrecognizeit。Itwasunchanged，butitsoutlineshadleftnoimpressuponhismind。Hestoodthereuncertainlyalittlewhile，thenreturnedandgotthecoachman，PatrickMcAleer，toshowhimtheway。

Thesecond，andstillmorepicturesqueinstance，belongsalsotothisperiod。Oneday，whenhewasplayingbilliardswithWhitmore，George，thebutler，cameupwithacard。

"Whoishe，George？"Clemensasked，withoutlookingatthecard。

"Idon’tknow，suh，buthe’sagentleman，Mr。Clemens。"

"Now，George，howmanytimeshaveItoldyouIdon’twanttoseestrangerswhenI’mplayingbilliards！Thisisjustsomebookagent，orinsuranceman，orsomebodywithsomethingtosell。Idon’twanttoseehim，andI’mnotgoingto。"

"Oh，butthisisagentleman，I’msure，Mr。Clemens。Justlookathiscard，suh。"

"Yes，ofcourse，Isee——niceengravedcard——butIdon’tknowhim，andifitwasSt。PeterhimselfIwouldn’tbuythekeyofsalvation！Youtellhimso——tellhim——oh，well，IsupposeI’vegottogoandgetridofhimmyself。I’llbebackinaminute，Whitmore。"

Herandownthestairs，andashegotneartheparlordoor，whichstoodopen，hesawamansittingonacouchwithwhatseemedtobesomeframedwater—colorpicturesonthefloornearhisfeet。

"Ah，ha！"hethought，"Isee。Apictureagent。I’llsoongetridofhim。"

Hewentinwithhisbest，"Well，whatcanIdoforyou？"air，whichhe，aswellasanymanliving，knewhowtoassume；afriendlyairenough，butnotencouraging。Thegentlemanroseandextendedhishand。

"Howareyou，Mr。Clemens？"hesaid。

Ofcoursethiswastheusualthingwithmenwhohadaxestogrindorgoodstosell。Clemensdidnotextendaverycordialhand。Hemerelyraisedaloose，indifferenthand——adiscouraginghand。

"AndhowisMrs。Clemens？"askedtheuninvitedguest。

Sothiswashisgame。Hewouldshowaninterestinthefamilyandingratiatehimselfinthatway；hewouldbeaskingafterthechildrennext。

"Well——Mrs。Clemensisaboutasusual——Ibelieve。"

"Andthechildren——MissSusieandlittleClara？"

Thiswasabitstartling。Heknewtheirnames！Still，thatwaseasytofindout。Hewasasmartagent，wonderfullysmart。Hemustbegotridof。

"Thechildrenarewell，quitewell，"and(pointingdownatthepictures)—

—"We’vegotplentylikethese。Wedon’twantanymore。No，wedon’tcareforanymore，"skilfullyworkinghisvisitortowardthedoorashetalked。

Theman，lookingnon—plussed——agooddealpuzzled——allowedhimselftobetalkedintothehallandtowardthefrontdoor。Herehepausedamoment：

"Mr。Clemens，willyoutellmewhereMr。CharlesDudleyWarnerlives？"

Thiswasthechance！HewouldworkhimoffonCharlieWarner。PerhapsWarnerneededpictures。

"Oh，certainly，certainly！Rightacrosstheyard。I’llshowyou。

There’sawalkrightthrough。Youdon’tneedtogoaroundthefrontwayatall。You’llfindhimathome，too，I’mprettysure"；allthetimeworkinghiscalleroutanddownthestepandintherightdirection。

Thevisitoragainextendedhishand。

"PleaseremembermetoMrs。Clemensandthechildren。"

"Oh，certainly，certainly，withpleasure。Goodday。Yes，that’sthehouseGood—by。"

Onthewaybacktothebilliard—roomMrs。Clemenscalledtohim。Shewasillthatday。

"Youth！"

"Yes，Livy。"Hewentinforaword。

"GeorgebroughtmeMr。B————’scard。Ihopeyouwereverynicetohim；

theB————sweresonicetous，oncelastyear，whenyouweregone。"，"TheB————s——Why，Livy————"

"Yes，ofcourse，andIaskedhimtobesuretocallwhenhecametoHartford。"

Hegazedatherhelplessly。

"Well，he’sbeenhere。"

"Oh，Youth，haveyoudoneanything？"

"Yes，ofcourseIhave。Heseemedtohavesomepicturestosell，soI

senthimovertoWarner’s。Inoticedhedidn’ttakethemwithhim。Landsakes，Livy，whatcanIdo？"

"Whichwaydidhego，Youth？"

"Why，IsenthimtoCharlieWarner’s。Ithought————"

"Gorightafterhim。Goquick！Tellhimwhatyouhavedone。"

Hewentwithoutfurtherdelay，bareheadedandinhisslippers，asusual。

WarnerandB————wereincheerfulandfriendlyconverse。Theyhadmetbefore。Clemensenteredgaily：

"OhYes，Isee！Youfoundhimallright。Charlie，wemetMr。B————andhiswifeinEuropelastsummerandtheymadethingspleasantforus。I

wantedtocomeoverherewithhim，butwasagooddealoccupiedjustthen。Livyisn’tverywell，butsheseemsagooddealbetter，soIjustfollowedalongtohaveagoodtalk，alltogether。"

Hestayedanhour，andwhateverbadimpressionhadformedinB————’smindfadedlongbeforethehourended。ReturninghomeClemensnoticedthepicturesstillontheparlorfloor。

"George，"hesaid，"whatpicturesarethosethatgentlemanleft？"

"Why，Mr。Clemens，thoseareourownpictures。I’vebeenstraighteninguptheroomalittle，andMrs。Clemenshadmesetthemaroundtoseehowtheywouldlookinnewplaces。Thegentlemanwaslookingatthemwhilehewaswaitingforyoutocomedown。"

CXXIX

FURTHERAFFAIRSATTHEFARM

ItwasatElmira，inJuly(1880)，thatthethirdlittlegirlcame——JaneLampton，forhergrandmother，butalwayscalledJean。Shewasalarge，lovelybaby，robustandhappy。WhenshehadbeenwiththemalittlemorethanamonthClemens，writingtoTwichell，said：

DEAROLDJOE，——ConcerningJeanClemens，ifanybodysaidhe"didn’tseenopintsaboutthatfrogthat’sanybetter’nanyotherfrog，"I

shouldthinkhewasconvictinghimselfofbeingaprettypoorsortofobserver。SheisthecomeliestanddaintiestandperfectestlittlecreaturethecontinentsandarchipelagoshaveseensincetheBayandSusywerehersize。Iwillnotgointodetails；itisnotnecessary；youwillsoonbeinHartford，whereIhavealreadyhiredahall；theadmissionfeewillbebutatrifle。

Itiscurioustonotethechangeinthestock—quotationsoftheAffectionBoardbroughtaboutbythrowingthisnewsecurityonthemarket。FourweeksagothechildrenstillputMamaattheheadofthelistrightalong，whereshehadalwaysbeen。Butnow：

JeanMamaMotley|catsFraulein|

PapaThatisthewayitstandsnow。MamaisbecomeNo。2；IhavedroppedfromNo。4，andambecomeNo。5。Sometimeagoitusedtobenipandtuckbetweenmeandthecats，butafterthecats"developed"I

didn’tstandanymoreshow。

BeenreadingDanielWebster’sPrivateCorrespondence。Havereadahundredofhisdiffuse，conceited，"eloquent，"bathotic(orbathostic)letters，writteninthatdim(no，vanished)past，whenhewasastudent。AndLord！tothinkthatthisboy，whoissorealtomenow，andsoboomingwithfreshyoungbloodandbountifullife，andsappycynicismsaboutgirls，hassinceclimbedtheAlpsoffameandstoodagainstthesunonebrief，tremendousmomentwiththeworld’seyesonhim，andthen————fzt！whereishe？Why，theonlylongthing，theonlyrealthingaboutthewholeshadowybusiness，isthesenseofthelaggingdullandhoarylapseoftimethathasdriftedbysincethen；avast，emptylevel，itseems，withaformlessspecterglimpsedfitfullythroughthesmokeandmistthatliealongitsremoteverge。

Well，weareallgettingalongherefirst—rate。Livygainsstrengthdailyandsitsupadeal；thebabyisfiveweeksoldand————Butnomoreofthis。Somebodymaybereadingthislettereightyyearshence。Andso，myfriend(youpityingsnob，Imean，whoareholdingthisyellowpaperinyourhandin1960)，saveyourselfthetroubleoflookingfurther。Iknowhowpatheticallytrivialoursmallconcernswouldseemtoyou，andIwillnotletyoureyeprofanethem。No，Ikeepmynews；youkeepyourcompassion。Sufficeityoutoknow，scofferandribald，thatthelittlechildisoldandblindnow，andoncemoretoothless；andtherestofusareshadowsthesemany，manyyears。Yes，andyourtimecometh！

MARK。

Itistheagelessstory。Hetoohadwrittenhisyouthfulletters，andlaterhadclimbedtheAlpsoffameandwasstilloutlinedagainstthesun。Happily，thelittlechildwastoevadethatharsherpenalty——theunwarrantedbitternessandaffrontofalingering，palsiedage。

Mrs。Clemens，inalettersomewhatlater，setdownathoughtsimilartohis：

"Weareallgoingsofast。Prettysoonweshallhavebeendeadahundredyears。"

Clemensvariedhisworkthatsummer，writingalternatelyon’ThePrinceandthePauper’andonthestoryabout’HuckFinn’，whichhehadbegunfouryearsearlier。

Hereadthelatteroverandfoundinitanewinterest。Itdidnotfascinatehim，asdidthestoryofthewanderingprince。Heperseveredonlyasthespiritmovedhim，pilinguppagesonboththetales。

Healwaystookaboy’sprideinthenumberofpageshecouldcompleteatasitting，andifthedayhadgonewellhewouldcountthemtriumphantly，and，lightingafreshcigar，wouldcometrippingdownthelongstairthatledtothelevelofthefarm—house，and，gatheringhisaudience，wouldreadtothemtheresultofhisindustry；thatistosay，heproceededwiththestoryofthePrince。ApparentlyhehadnotyetacquiredconfidenceorprideenoughinpoorHucktoexhibithim，eventofriends。

Thereference(inthelettertoTwichell)tothecatsatthefarmintroducesoneofthemostimportantfeaturesofthatidyllicresort。

Therewerealwayscatsatthefarm。MarkTwainhimselfdearlylovedcats，andthechildreninheritedthispassion。Susyoncesaid：

"Thedifferencebetweenpapaandmamais，thatmamalovesmoralsandpapalovescats。"

Thecatsdidnotalwaysremainthesame，butsomeofthesameonesremainedagoodwhile，andweretherefromseasontoseason，alwayswelcomedandadored。Theywerecommendablecats，withsuchnamesasFraulein，Blatherskite，SourMash，StrayKit，Sin，andSatan，andwhen，ashappenednowandthen，avacancyoccurredinthecatcensustherefolloweddeepsorrowandelaborateceremonies。

Naturally，therewouldbestoriesaboutcats：impromptubedtimestories，whichbegananywhereandendednowhere，andcontinuedindefinitelythroughalandinhabitedonlybycatsanddreams。Oneofthesestories，asrememberedandsetdownlater，began：

Onceuponatimetherewasanoble，bigcatwhosechristiannamewasCatasaqua，becauseshelivedinthatregion；butshedidn’thaveanysurname，becauseshewasashort—tailedcat，beingamanx，anddidn’tneedone。Itisveryjustandbecominginalong—tailedcattohaveasurname，butitwouldbeveryostentatious，andevendishonorable，inamanx。Well，Catasaquahadabeautifulfamilyofcattings；andtheywereofdifferentcolors，toharmonizewiththeircharacters。Cattaraugus，theeldest，waswhite，andhehadhighimpulsesandapureheart；Catiline，theyoungest，wasblack，andhehadaself—seekingnature，hismotiveswerenearlyalwaysbase，hewastruculentandinsincere。Hewasvainandfoolish，andoftensaidthathewouldratherbewhathewas，andlivelikeabandit，yethavenoneabovehim，thanbeacat—o’—nine—tailsandeatwiththeking。

Andsoonwithoutend，fortheaudiencewasasleeppresentlyandtheendcouldwait。

TherewaslessenthusiasmoverdogsatQuarryFarm。

MarkTwainhimselfhadnogreatloveforthecaninebreed。Toawomanwhowrote，askingforhisopinionondogs，hesaid，inpart：

Bywhatrighthasthedogcometoberegardedasa"noble"animal？

Themorebrutalandcruelandunjustyouaretohimthemoreyourfawningandadoringslavehebecomes；whereas，ifyoushamefullymisuseacatonceshewillalwaysmaintainadignifiedreservetowardyouafterwardyoucannevergetherfullconfidenceagain。

Hewasnotharshtodogs；occasionallyhemadefriendswiththem。Therewasonceatthefarmagentlehound，namedBones，thatforsomereasonevenwonhiswayintohisaffections。Boneswasalwaysawelcomecompanion，andwhentheendofsummercame，andClemens，aswashishabit，starteddownthedriveaheadofthecarriage，Bones，half—waytotheentrance，waswaitingforhim。Clemensstoopeddown，puthisarmsaroundhim，andbadehimanaffectionategood—by。HealwaysrecalledBonestenderly，andmentionedhiminletterstothefarm。

CXXX

COPYRIGHTANDOTHERFANCIES

ThecontinuedassaultofCanadianpiratesonhisbookskeptMarkTwain’sinterestsharplyaliveonthesubjectofcopyrightreform。Heinventedoneschemeafteranother，butthepublic—mindwashazyonthesubject，andlegislatorswereconcernedwithpurposesthatinterestedalargernumberofvoters。Thereweretoofewauthorstobeofmuchvalueatthepolls，andevenofthosefewonlyasmallpercentagewerevitallyconcerned。Fortheothers，foreignpublishersrarelypaidthemthecomplimentofpiracy，whileathomethecopyrightlimitofforty—twoyearswasaboutforty—twotimesaslongastheyneededprotection。Blisssuggestedalawmakingthesellingofpiratedbooksapenaloffense，aplanwithapromisinglook，butwhichcametonothing。

ClemenswrotetohisoldfriendRollinM。Daggett，whobythistimewasaCongressman。Daggettrepliedthathewouldbegladtointroduceanybillthattheauthorsmightagreeupon，andClemensmadeatleastonetriptoWashingtontodiscussthematter，butitcametonothingintheend。ItwasaPresidentialyear，anditwoulddojustaswelltokeeptheauthorsquietbypromisingtodosomethingnextyear。Anylegislativestirisneveragoodthingforacampaign。

Clemens’sideaforcopyrightbettermentwasnotafixedone。Somewhatlater，whenaninternationaltreatywhichwouldincludeprotectionforauthorswasbeingdiscussed，hisviewshadundergoneachange。Hewrote，askingHowells：

Willtheproposedtreatyprotectus(andeffectually)againstCanadianpiracy？Because，ifitdoesn’t，thereisnotasingleargumentinfavorofinternationalcopyrightwhicharationalAmericanSenatecouldentertainforamoment。Mynotionshavemightilychangedlately。IcanbuyMacaulay’sHistory，threevols。；

bound，for$1。25；Chambers’sCyclopaedia，tenvols。，cloth，for$7。25(wepaid$60)，andotherEnglishcopyrightsinproportion；I

canbuyalotofthegreatcopyrightclassics，inpaper，atfromthreecentstothirtycentsapiece。Thesethingsmustfindtheirwayintotheverykitchensandhovelsofthecountry。Agenerationofthissortofthingoughttomakethisthemostintelligentandthebest—readnationintheworld。Internationalcopyrightmustbecloudthissunandbringontheformerdarknessanddimenovelreading。

Morallythisisallwrong；governmentallyitisallright。Foritisthedutyofgovernmentsandfamiliestobeselfish，andlookoutsimplyfortheirown。InternationalcopyrightwouldbenefitafewEnglishauthorsandalotofAmericanpublishers，andbeaprofounddetrimenttotwentymillionAmericans；itwouldbenefitadozenAmericanauthorsafewdollarsayear，andthereanend。TherealadvantagesallgotoEnglishauthorsandAmericanpublishers。

AndevenifthetreatywillkillCanadianpiracy，andthussavemeanaverageof$5，000ayear，I’mdownonitanyway，andI’dlikecussedwelltowriteanarticleopposingthetreaty。

Itisacharacteristicexpression。MarkTwainmightbefirsttograbforthelife—preserver，buthewouldalsobefirsttohandittoahumanityingreaterneed。Hecoulddamnthehumanracecompetently，butinthefinalreckoningitwastheinterestofthatracethatlayclosesttohisheart。

MentionhasbeenmadeinanearlierchapterofClemens’senthusiasmsor"rages"forthisthingandthatwhichshouldbenefithumankind。Hewasseldomentirelywithoutthem。Whetheritwascopyrightlegislation，thelatestinvention，oranewempiricpractice，herarelyfailedtohaveaburninginterestinsomeanodynethatwouldprovidephysicalormentaleasementforhisspecies。Howellstellshowoncehewasgoingtosavethehumanracewithaccordionletter—files——thesystemoforderwhichwouldgrowoutofthisusefuldevicebeingofsuchnerveandlaborsavingproportionsastoinsurelonglifeandhappinesstoall。Thefountain—

pen，initsfirstimperfectform，musthavecomealongaboutthesametime，andClemenswasoneoftheveryearliestauthorstoownone。Forawhileitseemedthattheworldhadknownnogreaterboonsincetheinventionofprinting；butwhenitcloggedandbalked，orsuddenlydelugedhispaperandspilledinhispocket，heflungittotheouterdarkness。Afterwhich，thestylo—graphicpen。Hetriedone，andwroteseverallytoDr。Brown，toHowells，andtoTwichell，urgingitsadoption。

EveninalettertoMrs。Howellshecouldnotforgethisnewpossession：

AndspeakingofHowells，heoughttousethestylographicpen，thebestfountain—penyetinvented；heoughtto，butofcoursehewon’t—

—ablamedoldsodden—headedconservative——butyouseeyourselfwhatanice，clean，uniformMS。itmakes。

AndatthesametimetoTwichell：

Iamwritingwithastylographicpen。Ittakesaroyalamountofcussingtomakethethinggothefirstfewdaysoraweek，butbythattimethedullestassgetsthehangofthething，andafterthatnoenrichmentsofexpressionarerequired，andsaidassfindsthestylographicagenuineGod’sblessing。Icarryoneineachbreechespocket，andbothloaded。I’dgiveyouoneofthemifIhadyouwhereIcouldteachyouhowtouseit——nototherwise。Fortheaverageassflingsthethingoutofthewindowindisgustthesecondday，believingithathnovirtue，nomeritofanysort；whereasthelackliethinhimself，Godofhismercydamnhim。

ItwasnoteasytowithstandMarkTwain’senthusiasm。Howells，Twichell，andDr。Brownwereallpresentlystrugglingandswearing(figuratively)

overtheirstylographicpens，tryingtobelievethatsalvationlayintheirconquest。Butinthemidstofoneletter，atlast，Howellsbrokedown，seizedhisoldsteelweapon，andwrotesavagely："Nowhitemanoughttouseastylographicpen，anyhow！"Then，withthemoreancientimplement，continuedinacalmerspirit。

ItwasonlyalittlelaterthatClemenshimselfwrote：

YouseeIamtryinganewpen。IstoodthestylographaslongasI

could，andthenretiredtothepencil。ThethingIamtryingnowisthatfountain—penwhichisadvertisedtoemployandaccommodateitselftoanykindofpen。SoIselectedanordinarygoldpen——alimberone——andsentittoNewYorkandhaditcutandfittedtothisthing。Itgoesverywellindeed——thusfar；butdoubtlessthedevilwillbeinitbytomorrow。

MarkTwain’sschemeswerenotallinthelineofhumanadvancement；someofthemwereprojected，primarilyatleast，fordiversion。Hewaslikelyatanymomenttoorganizeaclub，asortofprivateclub，andatthetimeofwhichwearewritingheproposedwhatwascalledthe"Modest"Club。

HewrotetoHowells，aboutit：

AtpresentIamtheonlymember，andasthemodestyrequiredmustbeofaquiteaggravatedtypetheenterprisedidseemforatimedoomedtostopdeadstillwithmyself，forlackoffurthermaterial；butonreflectionIhavecometotheconclusionthatyouareeligible。

Therefore，Ihaveheldameetingandvotedtoofferyouthedistinctionofmembership。Idonotknowthatwecanfindanyothers，thoughIhavehadsomethoughtofHay，Warner，Twichell，Aldrich，Osgood，Fields，Higginson，andafewmore，togetherwithMrs。Howells，Mrs。Clemens，andcertainothersofthesex。Ihavelongfeltthereoughttobeanorganizedgangofourkind。

Heappendstheby—laws，themainonesbeing：

Theobjectoftheclubshallbetoeatandtalk。

Qualificationformembershipshallbeaggravatedmodesty，unobtrusiveness，nativehumility，learning，talent，intelligence，unassailablecharacter。

Thereshallbenoofficersexceptapresident，andanymemberwhohasanythingtoeatandtalkaboutmayconstitutehimselfpresidentforthetimebeing。

Anybrotherorsisteroftheorderfindingabrotherorasisterinimminentlydeadlyperilshallforsakehisownconcerns，nomatteratwhatcost，andcallthepolice。

Anymemberknowinganythingscandalousabouthimselfshallimmediatelyinformtheclub，sothattheyshallcallameetingandhavethefirstchancetotalkaboutit。

Itwasoneofhiswhimsicalfancies，andHowellsrepliedthathewouldliketojoinit，onlythathewastoomodest——thatis，toomodesttoconfessthathewasmodestenoughformembership。

Headdedthathehadsentaletter，withtherules，toHay，butdoubtedhismodesty。Hesaid：

"HewillthinkhehasarighttobelongasmuchasyouorI。"

Howellsagreedthathisownnamemightbeputdown，buttheideaseemsnevertohavegoneanyfurther。Perhapstherequirementsofmembershipweretoosevere。

CXXXI

WORKINGFORGARFIELD

EighteenhundredandeightywasaPresidentialyear。GeneralGarfieldwasnominatedontheRepublicanticket(againstGeneralHancock)，andClemensfoundhimsatisfactory。

Garfieldsuitsmethoroughlyandexactly[hewroteHowells]。IpreferhimtoGrant’sfriends)。ThePresidencycan’taddanythingtoGrant；hewillshineonwithoutit。Itisephemeral；heiseternal。

ThatwastheyearwhentheRepublicanpartybecamepanickyoverthedisaffectioninitsranks，duetothedefeatofGrantintheconvention，andatlast，bypleadingsandpromises，conciliatedPlattandConklingandbroughtthemintothefield。GeneralGrantalsowasinducedtosavethepartyfromdefeat，andmadeapersonaltouroforatoryforthatpurpose。HearrivedinHartfordwithhisfamilyonthe16thofOctober，andwhilehisreceptionwasmoreorlesspartizan，itwasamomentousevent。Avastprocessionpassedinreviewbeforehim，andeverywherehousesandgroundsweredecorated。ToMrs。Clemens，stillinElmira，Clemenswrote：

IfoundMr。Bealshardatworkintherainwithhisdecorations。

Withaladderhehadstrungflagsaroundourbedroombalcony，andthencearoundtotheporte—cochere，whichwaselaboratelyflagged；

thencetheflagsofallnationsweresuspendedfromalinewhichstretchedpastthegreenhousetothelimitofourgrounds。Againsteachofthetwotreesonthemound，half—waydowntoourgate，standsaknightincompletearmor。Pilesofstill—bundledflagsclutteruptheombra(tobeputup)，alsogaudyshieldsofvariousshapes(armsofthisandothercountries)，alsosomehugeglitteringarchesandthingsdoneingoldandsilverpaper，containingmottoesinbigletters。IbrokeMr。Beals’sheartbypersistentlyandinflexiblyannullingandforbiddingthebiggestandgorgeousestofthearches——ithadonit，inallthefiresoftherainbow，"TheHomeofMarkTwain，"inlettersasbigasyourhead。Oh，we’regoingtobedecoratedsufficient，don’tyouworryaboutthat，madam。

ClemenswasoneofthosedelegatedtoreceiveGrantandtomakeaspeechofwelcome。Itwasashortspeechbutaneffectiveone，foritmadeGrantlaugh。Hebegan：

"IamamongthosedeputedtowelcomeyoutothesincereandcordialhospitalitiesofHartford，thecityofthehistoricandreveredCharterOak，ofwhichmostofthetownisbuilt。"Heseemedtobeatlosswhattosaynext，and，leaningover，pretendedtowhispertoGrant；then，asifhehadobtainedtheinformationhewanted，hesuddenlystraightenedupandpouredouttheold—fashionedeulogyonGrant’sachievements，adding，inanaside，ashefinished：

"Inearlyforgotthatpartofmyspeech，"whichevokedroarsoflaughterfromtheassemblyandagrimsmilefromGrant。HespokeofGrantasbeingoutofpublicemployment，withprivateopportunitiesclosedagainsthim，andadded，"Butyourcountrywillrewardyou，neverfear。"

Thenheclosed：

WhenWellingtonwonWaterloo，abattleaboutonalevelwithanyoneofadozenofyourvictories，sordidEnglandtriedtopayhimforthatservicewithwealthandgrandeurs。Shemadehimadukeandgavehim$4，000，000。Ifyouhaddoneandsufferedforanyothercountrywhatyouhavedoneandsufferedforyourownyouwouldhavebeenaffrontedinthesamesordidway。But，thankGod！thisvastandrichandmightyrepublicisimbuedtothecorewithadelicacywhichwillforeverpreserveherfromsodegradingyou。

Yourcountrylovesyou——yourcountry’sproudofyou——yourcountryisgratefultoyou。Herapplauses，whichhavebeenmany，thunderinginyourearsalltheseweeksandmonths，willneverceasewhiletheflagyousavedcontinuestowave。

Yourcountrystandsreadyfromthisdayforthtotestifyhermeasurelessloveandprideandgratitudetowardyouineveryconceivable——inexpensiveway。WelcometoHartford，greatsoldier，honoredstatesman，unselfishcitizen。

Grant’sgrimsmileshoweditselfmorethanonceduringthespeech，andwhenClemensreachedthesentencethatspokeofhiscountryrewardinghimin"everyconceivable——inexpensiveway"hiscomposurebrokeupcompletelyandhe"nearlylaughedhisentireheadoff，"accordingtolatertestimony，whilethespectatorsshoutedtheirapproval。

Grant’sson，Col。FredGrant，——[Maj。—Gen’l，U。S。Army，1906。DiedApril，1912。]——dinedattheClemenshomethatnight，andRev。JosephTwichellandHenryC。Robinson。Twichell’sinvitationwasintheformofatelegram。Itsaid：

IwantyoutodinewithusSaturdayhalfpastfiveandmeetCol。

FredGrant。Noceremony。Wearthesameshirtyoualwayswear。

Thecampaignwasatitsheightnow，andontheeveningofOctober26ththerewasagrandRepublicanrallyattheopera—housewithaddressesbyCharlesDudleyWarner，HenryC。Robinson，andMarkTwain。Itwasanunpleasant，drizzlyevening，buttheweatherhadnoeffectontheiraudience。Theplacewasjammedandpacked，theaisles，thewindows，andthegalleryrailingsfull。Hundredswhocameaslateasthehourannouncedfortheopeningwereobligedtoturnback，forthebuildinghadbeenthrongedlongbefore。MarkTwain’sspeechthatnightisstillrememberedinHartfordasthegreatesteffortofhislife。Itwashardlythat，excepttothosewhowerecaughtinthepsychologyofthemoment，thetumultandtheshoutingofpatriotism，thesurgeandsweepofthepoliticaltide。Theroaringdelightoftheaudienceshowedthattothematleastitwasconvincing。Howellswrotethathehadreadittwice，andthathecouldnotputitoutofhismind。Whateveritsgeneraleffectwasneednotnowbeconsidered。Garfieldwaselected，andperhapsGrant’svisittoHartfordandthegreatmass—meetingthatfollowedcontributedtheirmitetothatresult。

ClemenssawGeneralGrantagainthatyear，butnotonpoliticalbusiness。

TheEducationalMission，whichChinahadestablishedinHartford——athrivinginstitutionforeightyearsormore——wasthreatenednowbycertainChineseauthoritieswithabolishment。YungWing(aYalegraduate)，theofficialbywhomithadbeenprojectedandunderwhosemanagementithadprospered，wasdeeplyconcerned，aswastheRev。JosephTwichell，whoseinterestinthemissionwasalargeandpersonalone。

YungWingdeclaredthatifinfluencecouldbebroughtuponLiHungChang，thenthemostinfluentialofChinesecounselors，themissionmightbesaved。Twichell，rememberingthegreathonorswhichLiHungChanghadpaidtoGeneralGrantinChina，alsoGrant’sadmirationofMarkTwain，wenttothelatterwithoutdelay。NecessarilyClemenswouldbeenthusiastic，andactpromptly。HewrotetoGrant，andGrantrepliedbytelegraph，namingadaywhenhewouldseetheminNewYork。

TheymetattheFifthAvenueHotel。Grantwasinfinespirits，andbynomeansthe"silentman"ofhisrepute。

HelaunchedatonceintoasfreeandflowingtalkasIhaveeverheard[saysTwichell]，markedbybroadandintelligentviewsonthesubjectofChina，herwants，disadvantages，etc。Nowandthenheaskedaquestion，butkepttheleadoftheconversation。Atlastheproposed，ofhisownaccord，towritealettertoLiHungChang，advisingthecontinuanceoftheMission，askingonlythatIwouldpreparehimsomenotes，givinghimpointstogoby。Thuswesucceededeasilybeyondourexpectations，thanks，verylargely，toClemens’sassistance。

ClemenswroteHowellsoftheinterview，detailingatsomelengthTwichell’scomicalmixtureofdelightandchagrinatnotbeinggiventimetoairthefundofpreparedstatisticswithwhichhehadcomeloaded。

Itwasasifhehadcometoborrowadollarandhadbeenofferedathousandbeforehecouldunfoldhiscase。"

CXXXII

ANEWPUBLISHER

ItwasneartheendoftheyearthatClemenswrotetohismother：

Ihavetwostories，andbytheverbalagreementtheyarebothgoingintothesamebook；butLivysaysthey’renot，andbyGeorge！sheoughttoknow。Shesaysthey’regoingintoseparatebooks，andthatoneofthemisgoingtobeelegantlygottenup，eveniftheeleganceofiteatsupthepublisher’sprofitsandminetoo。

Ianticipatethatpublisher’smelancholysurprisewhenhecallshereTuesday。However，lethimsuffer；itishisownfault。PeoplewhofixupagreementswithmewithoutfirstfindingoutwhatLivy’splansaretaketheirfateintotheirownhands。

Isaidtwostories，butoneofthemisonlyhalfdone；twoorthreemonths’workonityet。IshalltackleitWednesdayorThursday；

thatis，ifLivyyieldsandallowsbothstoriestogoinonebook，whichIhopeshewon’t。

Thereadermaysurmisethatthefinishedstory——thehighlyregardedstory——was’ThePrinceandthePauper’。Theothertale——theunfinishedandlessconsideredonewas’TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn’。NobodyappearstohavebeenespeciallyconcernedaboutHuck，except，possibly，thepublisher。

ThepublisherwasnottheAmericanCompany。ElishaBliss，afterlongillhealth，haddiedthatfall，andthisfact，inconnectionwithagrowingdissatisfactionovertheearliercontracts，hadinducedClemenstolistentooffersfromothermakersofbooks。Therevelationmadebythe"half—

profit"returnsfromATrampAbroadmeanttohim，simplythattheprofitshadnotbeenfairlyapportioned，andhewasaccordinglyhostile。ToOrionhewrotethat，hadBlisslived，hewouldhaveremainedwiththecompanyandmadeitreimbursehimforhislosses，butthatasmattersstoodhewouldseverthelongconnection。Itseemedapity，later，thathedidthis，butthebreakwasboundtocome。Clemenswasnotabusinessman，andBlisswasnotaphilanthropist。Hewas，infact，ashrewd，capablepublisher，whomadeasgoodacontractashecould；yethewassquareinhisdealings，andthecontractwhichClemensheldmostbitterlyagainsthim——thatof’RoughingIt’——hadbeenmadeingoodfaithandinaccordancewiththeconditions，ofthatperiod。InmostofthelatercontractsClemenshimselfhadnamedhisroyalties，anditwasnotinhumannature——businesshumannature——forBlisstoencouragethesizeofthesepercentages。Ifonewishedtodrawastrictlymoralconclusionfromthesituation，onemightsaythatitwouldhavebeenbetterfortheAmericanPublishingCompany，knowingMarkTwain，voluntarilytohaveallowedhimhalfprofits，whichwasthespiritofhisoldunderstandingevenifnottheletterofit，ratherthantohavewaitedtillhedemandeditandthentolosehimbytheresult。Perhapsthatwouldbealsoaproperbusinessdeduction；only，asarule，businessmoralsareregulatedbythecontract，andthecontractisregulatedbythenecessitiesandtheurgencyofdemand。

Nevermind。MarkTwainrevised’ThePrinceandthePauper’，sentittoHowells，whoapprovedofitmightily(thoughwithreservationsastocertainchapters)，andgaveittoJamesR。Osgood，whowasgratefulandagreedtomakeitintoabookuponwhichnoexpenseforillustrationormanufactureshouldbespared。Itwastobeasortofpartnershiparrangementasbetweenauthorandpublisher，andlargereturnswereanticipated。

AmongthemanyletterswhichClemenswasjustthenwritingtoHowellsonewasdated"XmasEve。"Itcloseswiththecustomarypleasantriesandthefinalline：

"Butitisgrowingdark。MerryChristmastoallofyou！"

Thatlastwasalineoflargesignificance。Itmeantthattheairwasfilledwiththewhisperofhoveringeventsandthathemustminglewiththemysteryofpreparation。ChristmaswasanimportantseasonintheClemenshome。Almosttheentiredaybefore，Patrickwasoutwiththesleigh，deliveringfoodandothergiftsinbasketstothepoor，andthehomepreparationswerenolessbusy。Therewasalwaysatree——alargeone——andwhenallthegiftshadbeengatheredin——whenElmiraandFredoniahaddeliveredtheircontributions，andOrionandhiswifeinKeokukhadsenttheannualsackofhickory—nuts(thebigriver—bottomnuts，bigasasilverdollaralmost，suchnutsasfewchildrenofthislatergenerationeversee)whenallthishappyrevenuehadbeengathered，andtheduskofChristmasEvehadhurriedthechildrenofftobed，itwasMrs。Clemenswhosuperintendedthedressingofthetree，herhusbandassisting，withawillingnessthatwasgreaterthanhisskill，andwithaboy’santicipationinthesurpriseofitnextmorning。

Thenfollowedtheholidays，withpartiesanddancesandcharades，andlittleplays，withtheWarnerandTwichellchildren。TotheClemenshometheChristmasseasonbroughtalltheoldroundofjuvenilehappiness——thespiritofkindlygiving，thebrightnessandthemerrymaking，thegladnessandtendernessandmysterythatbelongtonootherseason，andhavebeenhandeddownthroughalltheagessinceshepherdswatchedontheplainsofBethlehem。

CXXXIII

THETHREEFIRES——SOMEBENEFACTIONS

ThetraditionthatfiresoccuringroupsofthreewasjustifiedintheClemenshouseholdthatwinter。Oneachofthreesuccessivedaysflamesstartedthatmighthaveledtoghastlyresults。

Thechildrenwerecroupy，andonemorninganalcohollampnearlittleClara’sbed，blownbythedraught，setfiretothecanopy。Rosa，thenurse，enteredjustastheblazewaswellstarted。Shedidnotloseherpresenceofmind，——[Rosawasnotthekindtoloseherhead。Once，inEurope，whenBayhadcreptbetweentheuprightsofahighbalustrade，andwashangingoutoverdestruction，Rosa，discoveringher，didnotscreambutspoketoherplayfullyandliftedheroverintosafety。]——butsnatchedthelittlegirloutofdanger，thenopenedthewindowandthrewtheburningbeddingonthelawn。Thechildwasonlyslightlyscorched，buttheescapewasnarrowenough。

NextdaylittleJeanwaslyingasleepinhercrib，infrontofanopenwoodfire，carefullyprotectedbyafirescreen，whenaspark，bysomeingenuity，managedtogetthroughthemeshofthescreenandlandonthecrib’slacecovering。Jean’snurse，Julia，arrivedtofindthelaceagustofflameandthefirespreading。ShegrabbedthesleepingJeanandscreamed。Rosa，againathand，heardthescream，andrushinginoncemoreopenedawindowandflungouttheblazingbedclothes。Clemenshimselfalsoarrived，andtogethertheystampedoutthefire。

Onthethirdmorning，justbeforebreakfast—time，Susywaspractisingatthepianointheschool—room，whichadjoinedthenursery。Atoneendoftheroomafireoflargelogswasburning。Susywasattheotherendoftheroom，herbacktothefire。Alogburnedintwoandfell，scatteringcoalsaroundthewoodworkwhichsupportedthemantel。Justastheblazewasgettingfairlystartedabarber，waitingtotrimMr。Clemens’shair，chancedtolookinandsawwhatwasgoing—on。Hesteppedintothenurserybath—room，broughtapitcherofwaterandextinguishedtheflames。ThisperiodwasalwaysreferredtointheClemenshouseholdasthe"threedaysoffire。"

Clemenswouldnaturallymakephilosophicaldeductionsfromthesecoincidentaldangersandthemannerinwhichtheyhadbeenaverted。Hesaidthatallthesethingswerecomprehendedinthefirstactofthefirstatom；that，butforsomeparticularimpulsegiveninthatremotetime，thealcoholflamewouldnothaveblownagainstthecanopy，thesparkwouldnothavefounditswaythroughthescreen，thelogwouldnothavebrokenapartinthatdangerousway，andthatRosaandJuliaandthebarberwouldnothavebeenathandtosavepreciouslifeandproperty。

Hedidnotgofurtheranddrawmoralconclusionsastothepurposeofthesethings：heneverdrewconclusionsastopurpose。Hewaswillingtorestwiththeevent。Logicallyhedidnotbelieveinreasonsforthings，butonlythatthingswere。

Nevertheless，hewasalwaystryingtochangethem；tohaveahandintheirimprovement。Hadyouaskedhim，hewouldhavesaidthatthis，too，wasallintheprimalatom；thathisnature，suchasitwas，hadbeenminutelyembodiedthere。

Inthatcharmingvolume，’MyMarkTwain’，HowellstellsusofClemens’sconsideration，andeventenderness，forthenegroraceandhisefforttorepairthewrongdonebyhisnation。MarkTwain’swritingsarefullofsimilarevidence，andinhisdailylifehenevermissedanopportunitytopaytributetothehumblerrace。Hewouldgoacrossthestreettospeaktoanoldnegro，andtotakehishand。Hewouldreadforanegrochurchwhenhewouldhaverefusedacathedral。HowellsmentionsthecoloredstudentwhosewaythroughcollegeClemenspaidasapartialreparation"duefromeverywhitemantoeveryblackman。"——[MarkTwainpaidtwocoloredstudentsthroughcollege。Oneofthem，educatedinaSoutherninstitution，becameaministerofthegospel。TheothergraduatedfromtheYaleLawSchool。]——Thisincidentbelongsjusttotheperiodofwhichwearenowwriting，andthereisanotherwhich，thoughdifferentenough，indicatesthesametendency。

Garfieldwasabouttobeinaugurated，anditwasrumoredthatFrederickDouglassmightlosehispositionasMarshaloftheDistrictofColumbia。

ClemenswascontinuallybesoughtbyoneandanothertousehisinfluencewiththeAdministration，andineverycasehadrefused。Douglasshadmadenosuch，application。Clemens，learningthattheoldnegro’splacewasindanger，intercededforhimofhisownaccord。HeclosedhislettertoGeneralGarfield：

Asimplecitizenmayexpressadesire，withallpropriety，inthematterofrecommendationtooffice，andsoIbegpermissiontohopethatyouwillretainMr。DouglassinhispresentofficeofMarshaloftheDistrictofColumbia，ifsuchacoursewillnotclashwithyourownpreferencesorwiththeexpedienciesandinterestsofyourAdministration。Iofferthispetitionwithpeculiarpleasureandstrongdesire，becauseIsohonorthisman’shighandblemishlesscharacter，andsoadmirehisbrave，longcrusadeforthelibertiesandelevationofhisrace。

Heisapersonalfriendofmine，butthatisnothingtothepoint；

hishistorywouldmovemetosaythesethingswithoutthat，andI

feelthem，too。

DouglasswrotetoClemens，thankinghimforhisinterest；attheendhesaid：

Ithinkifamanismeanenoughtowantanofficeheoughttobenobleenoughtoaskforit，anduseallhonorablemeansofgettingit。Imeantoask，andIwilluseyourletterasapartofmypetition。ItwillputthePresident—electinagoodhumor，inanycase，andthatisveryimportant。

Withgreatrespect，Gratefullyyours，FREDERICKDOUGLASS。

MarkTwain’sbenefactionswerenotallforthecoloredrace。OnemorninginFebruaryofthissameyear，whilethefamilywereatlatebreakfast，Georgecameintoannounce"aladywaitingtoseeMr。Clemensinthedrawing—room。"Clemensgrowled。