第17章

"George，"hesaid，"it’sabookagent。Iwon’tseeher。I’lldie，inmytracksfirst。"

Hewent，fumingandraginginwardly，andbeganatoncetoaskthenatureoftheintruder’sbusiness。Thenhesawthatshewasveryyoungandmodest，withnoneoftheassuranceofacanvasser，sohegaveherachancetospeak。ShetoldhimthatayoungmanemployedinPratt&

Whitney’smachine—shopshadmadeastatueinclay，andwouldliketohaveMarkTwaincomeandlookatitandseeifitshowedanypromiseoffutureachievement。Hisname，shesaid，wasKarlGerhardt，andhewasherhusband。Clemensprotestedthatheknewnothingaboutart，buttheyoungwoman’smannerandappearance(sheseemedscarcelymorethanachild)wonhim。Hewavered，andfinallypromisedthathewouldcomethefirstchancehehad；thatinfacthewouldcomesometimeduringthenextweek。

Onhersuggestionheagreedtocomeearlyintheweek；hespecifiedMonday，"withoutfail。"

Whenshewasgone，andthedoorshutbehindher，hisusualremorsecameuponhim。Hesaidtohimself：

"Whydidn’tIgonow？Whydidn’tIgowithhernow？"

ShewentfromClemens’sovertoWarner’s。Warneralsoresisted，but，temptedbeyondhisstrengthbyhercharm，laiddownhisworkandwentatonce。WhenhereturnedheurgedClemenstogowithoutfail，and，truetopromise，ClemenstookPatrick，thecoachman，andhunteduptheplace。

Clemenssawthestatue，aseminude，forwhichtheyoungwifehadposed，andwasstruckbyitsevidentmerit。Mrs。Gerhardttoldhimthestoryofherhusband’sstrugglesbetweenhisdailyworkandtheefforttodevelophistalent。Hehadneverhadalesson，shesaid；ifhecouldonlyhavelessonswhatmighthenotaccomplish？

Mrs。ClemensandMissSpauldingcallednextday，andwereequallycarriedawaywithKarlGerhardt，hisyoungwife，andhisefforttowinhiswayinart。ClemensandWarnermadeuptheirmindstointerestthemselvespersonallyinthematter，andfinallypersuadedthepainterJ。WellsChampneytocomeoverfromNewYorkandgowiththemtotheGerhardts’

humblehabitation，toseehiswork。Champneyapprovedofit。Hethoughtitwellworthwhile，hesaid，forthepeopleofHartfordtogototheexpenseofGerhardt’sarteducation。Headdedthatitwouldbebettertogetthejudgmentofasculptor。SotheybroughtoverJohnQuincyAdamsWard，who，likealltheothers，cameawaybewitchedwiththeseyoungpeopleandtheirstrugglesforthesakeofart。Wardsaid：

"Ifanystrangerhadtoldmethatthis’prenticedidnotmodelthatthingfromplaster—castsIshouldnothavebelievedit。It’sfullofcrudities，butit’sfullofgenius，too。HartfordmustsendhimtoParisfortwoyears；then，ifthepromiseholdsgood，keephimtherethreemore。"

WhenhewasgoneMrs。Clemenssaid：

"Youth，wewon’twaitforHartfordtodoit。Itwouldtaketoolong。

LetussendtheGerhardtstoParisourselves，andsaynothingaboutittoanyoneelse。"

SotheGerhardts，providedwithfundsandanarrangementthatwouldenablethemtoliveforfiveyearsinParisifnecessary，werestartedacrosstheseawithoutfurtherdelay。

Clemensandhiswifewereoftendoingsomethingofthissort。Therewasseldomatimethattheywerenotpayingthewayofsomeyoungmanorwomanthroughcollege，orprovidingmeansandopportunityfordevelopmentinsomespecialfieldofindustry。

CXXXIV

LITERARYPROJECTSANDAMONUMENTTOADAM

MarkTwain’sliteraryworklanguishedduringthisperiod。Hehadaworldofplans，asusual，andwroteplentifully，butwithoutdirectionorconclusion。"ACuriousExperience，"whichrelatesacircumstancetoldtohimbyanarmyofficer，isaboutthemostnotableofthefewcompletedmanuscriptsofthisperiod。

Ofthebooksprojected(therewereseveral)，aburlesquemanualofetiquettewouldseemtohavebeenthemostpromising。Howellshadfaithinit，andofthestillremainingfragmentsafewseemworthquoting：

ATBILLIARDS

Ifyourballglidesalongintheintenseandimmediatevicinityoftheobject—ball，andacountseemsexquisitelyimminent，liftoneleg；thenoneshoulder；thensquirmyourbodyaroundinsympathywiththedirectionofthemovingball；andattheinstantwhentheballseemsonthepointofcollidingthrowupbothofyourarmsviolently。Yourcuewillprobablybreakachandelier，butnomatter；youhavedonewhatyoucouldtohelpthecount。

ATTHEDOG—FIGHT

Ifitoccurinyourblock，courteouslygivewaytostrangersdesiringaview，particularlyladies。

Avoidshowingpartialitytowardtheonedog，lestyouhurtthefeelingsoftheotherone。

Letyoursecretsympathiesandyourcompassionbealwayswiththeunderdoginthefight——thisismagnanimity；butbetontheotherone——thisisbusiness。

ATPOKER

Ifyoudrawtoaflushandfailtofill，donotcontinuetheconflict。

Ifyouholdapairoftrays，andyouropponentisblind，anditcostsyoufiftytoseehim，lethimremainunperceived。

Ifyouholdnothingbutacehigh，andbysomemeansyouknowthattheothermanholdstherestoftheaces，andhecalls，excuseyourself；lethimcallagainanothertime。

WALLSTREET

Ifyouliveinthecountry，buyat80，sellat40。Avoidallformsofeccentricity。

INTHERESTAURANT

Whenyouwishtogetthewaiter’sattention，donotsingout"Say！"

Simplysay"Szt！"

Hisoldabandonednotionof"Hamlet"withanaddedburlesquecharactercamebacktohimandstirredhisenthusiasmanew，untilevenHowellsmanifesteddeepinterestinthematter。OnereflectshowyoungHowellsmusthavebeeninthosedays；howfullofthejoyofexistence；alsohowmournfullyhewouldconsidersuchasacrilegenow。

ClemensproposedalmostasmanythingstoHowellsashisbrotherOrionproposedtohim。Therewasscarcelyaletterthatdidn’tcontainsomenewidea，witharequestforadviceorco—operation。Nowitwassomebookthathemeanttowritesomeday，andagainitwouldbeasomethingthathewantedHowellstowrite。

OnceheurgedHowellstomakeaplay，oratleastanovel，outofOrion。

Atanothertimehesuggestedasmaterialthe"RightfulEarlofDurham。"

Heisaperfectlystunningliterarybonanza，andmustbedugupandputonthemarket。YoumustgethisentirebiographyoutofhimandhaveitreadyforOsgood’smagazine。Evenifitisn’tworthprinting，youmusthaveitanyway，anduseitoneofthesedaysinoneofyourstoriesorinaplay。

Itwasthisnotionabout’TheAmericanClaimant’whichsomewhatlaterwouldleadtoacollaborationwithHowellsonadrama，andeventuallytoastoryofthattitle。

ButClemens’schiefinterestatthistimelayinpublishing，ratherthaninwriting。HisassociationwithOsgoodinspiredhimtodevisenewventuresofprofit。Heplanneda’LibraryofAmericanHumor’，whichHowells(soontoleavetheAtlantic)and"Charley"Clark——[CharlesHopkinsClark，managingeditoroftheHartfordCourant。]——weretoedit，andwhichOsgoodwouldpublish，forsubscriptionsale。Withoutrealizingit，Clemenswastakinghisfirststeptowardbecominghisownpublisher。

HiscontractwithOsgoodfor’ThePrinceandthePauper’madehimessentiallythat，forbythetermsofitheagreedtosupplyallthemoneyforthemakingofthebook，andtopayOsgoodaroyaltyofsevenandone—halfpercent。forsellingit，reversingtheusualconditions。

ThecontractfortheLibraryofHumorwastobeasimilarone，thoughinthiscaseOsgoodwastohavealargerroyaltyreturn，andtoshareproportionatelyintheexpenseandrisk。MarkTwainwasenteringintoafieldwherehedidnotbelong；whereintheendhewouldharvestonlydisasterandregret。

Onecuriousprojectcametoanendin1881——theplanforamonumenttoAdam。InasketchwrittenagreatmanyyearslaterMarkTwaintellsofthememorialwhichtheRev。ThomasK。Beecherandhimselfonceproposedtoerecttoourgreatcommonancestor。Thestoryisbasedonarealincident。Clemens，inElmiraoneday(itwasOctober，1879)，heardofajestingproposalmadebyF。G。HalltoerectamonumentinElmiratoAdam。TheideapromptlycaughtMarkTwain’sfancy。HeobservedtoBeecherthatthehumanracereallyshowedaprettypoorregardforitsgreatprogenitor，whowasabouttobedeposedbyDarwin’ssimian，nottopayhimthetributeofasinglemonument。Mankind，hesaid，wouldprobablyacceptthemonkeyancestor，andintimetheverynameofAdamwouldbeforgotten。HedeclaredMr。Hall’ssuggestiontobeasoundidea。

BeecheragreedthatthereweremanyreasonswhyamonumentshouldbeerectedtoAdam，andsuggestedthatasubscriptionbestartedforthepurpose。Certainbusinessmen，seeinganopportunityforadvertisingthecity，tookthemattersemi—seriously，andofferedtocontributelargesumsintheinterestoftheenterprise。ThenitwasagreedthatCongressshouldbepetitionedtosanctiontheideaexclusivelytoElmira，prohibitingtheerectionofanysuchmemorialelsewhere。Adocumenttothiseffectwasprepared，headedbyF。G。Hall，andsignedbyotherleadingcitizensofElmira，includingBeecherhimself。GeneralJoeHawleycamealongjustthenonapoliticalspeech—makingtour。Clemensintroducedhim，andHawley，inturn，agreedtofatherthepetitioninCongress。Whathadbegunmerelyaspleasantrybegantohaveaformidablelook。

Butalas！intheendHawley’scouragehadfailedhim。Hebegantohatehisundertaking。Hewasafraidofthenationallaughitwouldarouse，thejeersofthenewspapers。ItwascertaintoleakoutthatMarkTwainwasbehindit，inspiteofthefactthathisnamenowhereappeared；thatitwasoneofhiscolossaljokes。Nowandthen，intheprivacyofhisownroomatnight，HawleywouldhuntuptheAdampetitionandreaditandfeelthecoldsweatbreakingout。Hepostponedthematterfromonesessiontoanothertillthesummerof1881，whenhewasabouttosailforEurope。Thenhegavethedocumenttohiswife，toturnovertoClemens，andignominiouslyfled。

[Fortextofthepetitioninfull，etc。，seeAppendixP，attheendoflastvolume。

MarkTwain’sintroductionofHawleyatElmiracontainedthispleasantry：

"GeneralHawleywaspresidentoftheCentennialCommission。Wasagallantsoldierinthewar。HehasbeenGovernorofConnecticut，memberofCongress，andwaspresidentoftheconventionthatnominatedAbrahamLincoln。"

GeneralHawley："ThatnominatedGrant。"

Twain："HesaysitwasGrant，butIknowbetter。HeisamemberofmychurchatHartford，andtheauthorof’BeautifulSnow。’Maybehewilldenythat。ButIamonlyheretogivehimacharacterfromhislastplace。Asapurecitizen，Irespecthim；asapersonalfriendofyears，Ihavethewarmestregardforhim；asaneighborwhosevegetablegardenjoinsmine，why——why，Iwatchhim。That’snothing；wealldothatwithanyneighbor。GeneralHawleykeepshispromises，notonlyinprivate，butinpublic。Heisaneditorwhobelieveswhathewritesinhisownpaper。Astheauthorof’BeautifulSnow’headdedanewpangtowinter。

Heisbroad—souled，generous，noble，liberal，alivetohismoralandreligiousresponsibilities。Wheneverthecontribution—boxwaspassedI

neverknewhimtotakeoutacent。"]

CXXXV

ATRIPWITHSHERMANANDANINTERVIEWWITHGRANT。

TheArmyofthePotomacgaveadinnerinHartfordonthe8thofJune，1881。ButlittlememoryremainsofitnowbeyondMarkTwain’sspeechandabilloffarecontainingoriginalcomments，ascribedtovariousreveredauthors，suchasJohnson，Milton，andCarlyle。Apleasantincidentfollowed，however，whichClemenshimselfusedtorelate。GeneralShermanattendedthebanquet，andSecretaryofWar，RobertLincoln。NextmorningClemensandTwichellwereleavingforWestPoint，wheretheyweretoaddressthemilitarystudents，guestsonthesamespecialtrainonwhichLincolnandShermanhadtheirprivatecar。Thiscarwasattheendofthetrain，andwhenthetwopassengersreachedthestation，ShermanandLincolnwereoutontherearplatformaddressingthemultitude。ClemensandTwichellwentinand，takingseats，waitedforthem。

Asthespeakersfinishedthetrainstarted，buttheystillremainedoutside，bowingandwavingtotheassembledcitizens，sothatitwasundergoodheadwaybeforetheycamein。ShermancameuptoClemens，whosatsmokingunconcernedly。

"Well，"hesaid，"whotoldyouyoucouldgointhiscar？"

"Nobody，"saidClemens。

"Doyouexpecttopayextrafare？"askedSherman。

"No，"saidClemens。"Idon’texpecttopayanyfare。"

"Oh，youdon’t。Thenyou’llworkyourway。"

ShermantookoffhiscoatandmilitaryhatandmadeClemensputthemon。

"Now，"saidhe，"wheneverthetrainstopsyougooutontheplatformandrepresentmeandmakeaspeech。"

Itwasnotlongbeforethetrainstopped，andClemens，accordingtoorders，steppedoutontherearplatformandbowedtothecrowd。Therewasacheeratthesightofhismilitaryuniform。Thenthecheerwaned，becameamurmurofuncertainty，followedbyanundertoneofdiscussion。

Presentlysomebodysaid：

"Say，thatain’tSherman，that’sMarkTwain，"whichbroughtanothercheer。

ThenShermanhadtocomeouttoo，andtheresultwasthatbothspoke。

Theykeptthisupatthedifferentstations，andsometimesLincolncameoutwiththem。Whentherewastimeallthreespoke，muchtothesatisfactionoftheiraudiences。

PresidentGarfieldwasshotthatsummer——July2，1881。——[OnthedaythatPresidentGarfieldwasshotMrs。ClemensreceivedfromtheirfriendReginaldCholmondeleyaletterofcondolenceonthedeathofherhusbandinAustralia；startlingenough，thoughinrealityrathercomfortingthanotherwise，forthereasonthatthe"MarkTwain"whohaddiedinAustraliawasaverypersistentimpostor。ClemenswroteCholmondeley："BeingdeadImightbeexcusedfromwritingletters，butIamnotthatkindofacorpse。MayIneverbesodeadastoneglectthehailofafriendfromafarland。"OutofthisincidentgrewafeatureofananecdoterelatedinFollowingtheEquatorthejokeplayedbythemanfromBendigo。]——HediedSeptember19th，andArthurcameintopower。Therewasagreatfeelingofuncertaintyastowhathewoulddo。Hewasregardedas"anexcellentgentlemanwithaweaknessforhisfriends。"Incumbentsholdingappointiveofficeswereinastateofdread。

Howells’sfatherwasconsulatToronto，and，believinghisplacetobeindanger，heappealedtohisson。InhisbookHowellstellshow，inturn，heappealedtoClemens，rememberinghisfriendshipwithGrantandGrant’sfriendshipwithArthur。HeaskedClemenstowritetoGrant，butClemenswouldhearofnothinglessthanacallontheGeneral，duringwhichthematterwouldbepresentedtohiminperson。Howellsrelateshowthethreeofthemlunchedtogether，inalittleroomjustoutoftheoffice，onbakedbeansandcoffee，broughtinfromsomenear—byrestaurant：

Thebakedbeansandcoffeewereofabouttherailroad—refreshmentquality；buteatingthemwithGrantwaslikesittingdowntobakedbeansandcoffeewithJuliusCaesar，orAlexander，orsomeothergreatPlutarchancaptain。

Clemens，alsorecallingtheinterview，onceaddedsomeinterestingdetails：

"IaskedGrantifhewouldn’twriteawordonacardwhichHowellscouldcarrytoWashingtonandhandtothePresident。But，asusual，GeneralGrantwashisnaturalself——thatistosay，readyanddeterminedtodoagreatdealmoreforyouthanyoucouldpossiblyaskhimtodo。HesaidhewasgoingtoWashingtoninacoupleofdaystodinewiththePresident，andhewouldspeaktohimhimselfonthesubjectandmakeitapersonalmatter。Grantwasinthehumortotalk——hewasalwaysinahumortotalkwhennostrangerswerepresent——heforcedustostayandtakeluncheoninaprivateroom，andcontinuedtotalkallthetime。Itwasbakedbeans，buthow’hesitsandtowers，’Howellssaid，quotingDame。Grantremembered’Squibob’Derby(JohnPhoenix)atWestPointverywell。HesaidthatDerbywasalwaysdrawingcaricaturesoftheprofessorsandplayingjokesoneverybody。HetoldathingwhichIhadheardbeforebuthadneverseeninprint。Aprofessorquestioningaclassconcerningcertainparticularsofapossiblesiegesaid，’Supposeathousandmenarebesiegingafortresswhoseequipmentofprovisionsisso—and—so；itisamilitaryaxiomthatattheendofforty—fivedaysthefortwillsurrender。Now，youngmen，ifanyofyouwereincommandofsuchafortress，howwouldyouproceed？’

"Derbyhelduphishandintokenthathehadananswerforthatquestion。

Hesaid，’Iwouldmarchout，lettheenemyin，andattheendofforty—

fivedaysIwouldchangeplaceswithhim。’

"Itriedhard，duringthatinterview，togetGeneralGranttoagreetowritehispersonalmemoirsforpublication，buthewouldn’tlistentothesuggestion。Hisinborndiffidencemadehimshrinkfromvoluntarilycomingbeforethepublicandplacinghimselfundercriticismasanauthor。Hehadnoconfidenceinhisabilitytowritewell；whereasweallknownowthathepossessedanadmirableliterarygiftandstyle。Hewasalsosurethatthebookwouldhavenosale，andofcoursethatwouldbeahumilitytoo。Iarguedthatthebookwouldhaveanenormoussale，andthatoutofmyexperienceIcouldsavehimfrommakingunwisecontractswithpublishers，andwouldhavethecontractarrangedinsuchawaythattheycouldnotswindlehim，buthesaidhehadnonecessityforanyadditiontohisincome。Ofcoursehecouldnotforeseethathewascampingonavolcano；thatasWard’spartnerhewasaruinedmaneventhen，andofcourseIhadnosuspicionthatinfouryearsfromthattimeIwouldbecomehispublisher。Hewouldnotagreetowritehismemoirs。

Heonlysaidthatsomedayhewouldmakeveryfullnotesandleavethembehindhim，andthenifhischildrenchosetomakethemintoabooktheycoulddoso。Wecameawaythen。HefulfilledhispromiseentirelyconcerningHowells’sfather，whoheldhisofficeuntilheresignedofhisownaccord。"

CXXXVI

"THEPRINCEANDTHEPAUPER"

DuringthesummerabsencealterationsweremadeintheHartfordhome，withextensivedecorationsbyTiffany。Theworkwasnotcompletedwhenthefamilyreturned。ClemenswrotetoCharlesWarrenStoddard，thenintheSandwichIslands，thattheplacewasfullofcarpentersanddecorators，whereaswhattheyreallyneededwas"anincendiary。"

Ifthehousewouldonlyburndownwewouldpackupthecubsandflytotheislesoftheblest，andshutourselvesupinthehealingsolitudesofthecraterofHaleakalaandgetagoodrest，forthemailsdonotintrudethere，noryetthetelephoneandthetelegraph；andafterrestingwewouldcomedownthemountainapieceandboardwithagodly，breech—

cloutednative，andeatpoianddirt，andgivethankstowhomallthanksbelongfortheseprivileges，andneverhousekeepanymore。

Theyhadacquiredmoreground。OnemorninginthespringMarkTwainhadlookedoutofhiswindowjustintimetoseeamanliftanaxtocutdownatreeonthelotwhichlaybetweenhisownandthatofhisneighbor。Hehadheardthatahousewastobebuiltthere；altogethertooclosetohimforcomfortandprivacy。Leaningoutofthewindowhecalledsonorously，"Woodman，sparethattree！"Thenhehurrieddown，obtainedastayofproceedings，andwithoutdelaypurchasedthelotfromthenext—doorneighborwhoownedit，acquiringtherebyonehundredfeetofextragroundandagreenhousewhichoccupiedit。Itwasacostlypurchase；theownerknewhecoulddemandhisownprice；heaskedandreceivedtwelvethousanddollarsforthestrip。

InNovember，ClemensfoundthathemustmakeanothertriptoCanada。

’ThePrinceandthePauper’wasreadyforissue，andtoinsureCanadiancopyrighttheauthormustcrossthelineinperson。Hedidnotenjoytheprospectofacold—weathertriptothenorth，andtriedtotemptHowellstogowithhim，butonlysucceededinpersuadingOsgood，whowoulddoanythingorgoanywherethatofferedtheopportunityforpleasantcompanyandjunket。

Itwasbynomeansanunhappyfortnight。Clemenstookanote—book，andthereareplentyofitemsthatgiverealitytothatlong—agoexcursion。

HefoundtheCanadiangirlssoprettythatherecordsitasareliefnowandthentoseeaplainone。Onanotherpagehetellshowonenightinthehotelamousegnawedandkepthimawake，andhowhegotupandhuntedforit，hopingtodestroyit。Hemadearebuspictureforthechildrenofthisincidentinaletterhome。

Wegetaglimpsejusthereofhowhewasconstantlyviewinghimselfasliterarymaterial——humanmaterial——anexamplefromwhichsomeliteraryaspectorlessonmaybedrawn。Followingthemouseadventurewefinditthusdramatized：

TraceFatherBrebeufallthroughthistrip，andwhenIaminarageandcan’tendurethemousebereadingofBrebeuf’smarvelousendurancesandbeshamed。

Andfinally，afterchasingthebright—eyedrascalseveraldays，andthrowingthingsandtryingtojumponhimwheninmyovershoes，hedartsawaywiththosesamebrighteyes，thenstraightwayIreadBrebeuf’smagnificentmartyrdom，andturnin，subduedandwondering。

Byandbythethoughtoccurstome，Brebeuf，withhisgood，greatheartwouldspareeventhatpoorhumblemousie——andforhissakesowillI——Iwillthrowthetrapinthefire——jumpoutofbed，reachunder，fetchoutthetrap，andfindhimthrottledthereandnottwominutesdead。

TheygavehimadinnerinMontreal。LouisFrechette，theCanadianpoet，wasthereandClemensaddressedhimhandsomelyintheresponsehemadetothespeechofwelcome。FromthatmomentFrechetteneverceasedtoadoreMarkTwain，andvisitedhimsoonafterthereturntoHartford。

’ThePrinceandthePauper’waspublishedinEngland，Canada，Germany，andAmericaearlyinDecember，1881。Therehadbeennostintofmoney，anditwasanextremelyhandsomebook。Thepen—and—inkdrawingswerereallycharming，andtheywerelavishastonumber。Itwasanattractivevolumefromeverystandpoint，anditwasproperlydedicated"Tothosegood—manneredandagreeablechildren，SusyandClaraClemens。"

ThestoryitselfwastotallyunlikeanythingthatMarkTwainhaddonebefore。Enoughofitsplanandpurposehasbeengiveninformerchapterstomakeasynopsisofitunnecessaryhere。Thestoryofthewanderingprinceandthepauperking——animpressivepictureofancientlegalandregalcruelty——isasfineandconsistentataleasexistsintherealmofpureromance。Unlikeitsgreatsuccessor，the’YankeeatKingArthur’sCourt’，itneversacrificestheillusiontotheburlesque，whilethroughitallthererunsadelicateveinofhumor。Onlyhereandthereistheretheslightestdisillusion，andthismainlyintheuseofsomeultra—

modernphraseorword。

MarkTwainneverdidanybetterwritingthansomeofthesplendidscenesin’ThePrinceandthePauper’。ThepictureofOldLondonBridge；thesceneinthevagabond’sretreat，withitspresentationtothelittlekingofthewrongsinflictedbythelawsofhisrealm；theepisodeofthejailwherehisrevelationreachesaclimax——thesearebutafewofthesplendidpictureswhichthechaptersportray，whilethespectacleofEnglandacquiringmercyatthehandsoftwochildren，akingandabeggar，isonewhichonlygeniuscouldcreate。Onemightquotehere，buttodosowithoutthecontextwouldbetosacrificeatmosphere，halfthestory’scharm。Howbreathlesslyinterestingisthetaleofit！WemayimaginethatfirstlittleaudienceatMarkTwain’sfiresidehangingexpectantoneveryparagraph，hungryalwaysformore。OfallMarkTwain’slongerworksoffictionitisperhapsthemostcoherentastoplot，themostcarefullythoughtout，themostperfectastoworkmanship。

Thisisnottosaythatitishisgreateststory。Probablytimewillnotgiveitthatrank，butitcomesneartobeingaperfectlyconstructedstory，andithasanimperishablecharm。

Itwaswellreceived，thoughnotalwaysunderstoodbythepublic。ThereviewerwassoaccustomedtolookingforthejokeinMarkTwain’swork，thathefoundithardtoestimatethisnewproduct。SomeevenwentsofarastorefertoitasoneofMarkTwain’sbigjokes，meaningprobablythathehadcreatedachapterinEnglishhistorywithnofoundationbeyondhisfancy。Ofcoursethesethingspainedtheauthorofthebook。

Atonetime，hehadbeeninclinedtopublishitanonymously，toavertthissortofmisunderstanding，andsometimesnowheregrettednothavingdoneso。

Yetthereweremanygratifyingnotices。TheNewYorkHeraldreviewergavethenewbooktwocolumnsoffinelyintelligentappreciation。Inparthesaid：

TothosewhohavefollowedthecareerofMarkTwain，hisappearanceastheauthorofacharmingandnobleromanceisreallynomoreofasurprisethantoseeastatelystructurerisenuponsightlygroundownedbyanarchitectofgenius，withtheresourcesofabundantbuildingmaterialandampletrainingatcommand。Ofhiscapacitytheyhavehadnodoubt，andtheyrejoiceinhistakingastepwhichtheyfelthewasabletotake。Throughallhispublicationsmaybetracedthemarksofthepathwhichhalfleduptothishappyheight。

Hishumorhasoftenbeenthecloak，butnotthemask，ofasturdypurpose。Hisworkhasbeencharacterizedbyamanlyloveoftruth，ahatredofhumbug，andascornforcant。Agenialwarmthandwhole—souledness，abeautifulfancy，afertileimagination，andanativefeelingforthepicturesqueandafineeyeforcolorhaveaffordedthebasisofastylewhichhasbecomemoreandmoreplasticandfinished。

Andinclosing：

Thecharactersofthesetwoboys，twinsinspirit，willrankwiththepurestandloveliestcreationsofchild—lifeintherealmoffiction。

CXXXVII

CERTAINATTACKSANDREPRISALS

BeyondthepublicationofThePrinceandthePauperClemenswassparinglyrepresentedinprintin’81。Achapteroriginallyintendedforthebook，the"WhippingBoy’sStory，"hegavetotheBazaarBudget，alittlespecial—editionsheetprintedinHartford。Itwasthestoryofthe’BullandtheBees’whichhelateradaptedforuseinJoanofArc，theepisodeinwhichJoan’sfatherridesabulltoafuneral。HowellsfoundthatitinterferedwiththeactioninthestoryofthePrince，andwemighthavespareditfromthestoryofJoan，thoughhardlywithoutregret。

Themilitarystory"ACuriousEpisode"waspublishedintheCenturyMagazineforNovember。ThefactthatClemenshadheard，andnotinvented，thestorywassetforthquitedefinitelyandfullyinhisopeningparagraphs。Nevertheless，a"CaptiousReader"thoughtitnecessarytowritetoaNewYorkpublicationconcerningitsorigin：

IamanadmirerofthewritingsofMr。MarkTwain，andconsequently，whenIsawthetableofcontentsoftheNovembernumberoftheCentury，Iboughtitandturnedatoncetothearticlebearinghisname，andentitled，"ACuriousEpisode。"WhenIbegantoreadit，itstruckmeasstrangelyfamiliar，andIsoonrecognizedthestoryasatrueone，toldmeinthesummerof1878byanofficeroftheUnitedStatesartillery。Query：DidMr。Twainexpectthepublictocreditthisnarrativetohiscleverbrain？

Theeditor，seeingachanceforMarkTwain"copy，"forwardedaclippingtoClemensandaskedhimifhehadanythingtosayinthematter。

Clemenshappenedtoknowtheeditorverywell，andhedidhavesomethingtosay，notforprint，butfortheeditor’sprivateear。

Thenewspapercustomofshootingamaninthebackandthencallinguponhimtocomeoutinacardandprovethathewasnotengagedinanyinfamyatthetimeisagoodenoughcustomforthosewhothinkitjustifiable。Yourcorrespondentisnotstupid，Ijudge，butpurelyandsimplymalicious。Heknewtherewasnottheshadowofasuggestion，fromthebeginningtotheendof"ACuriousEpisode，"

thatthestorywasaninvention；heknewhehadnowarrantfortryingtopersuadethepublicthatIhadstolenthenarrativeandwasendeavoringtopalmitoffasapieceofliteraryinvention；healsoknewthathewasaskinghisclosingquestionwithabasemotive，elsehewouldhaveaskeditofmebyletter，notspreaditbeforethepublic。

Ihaveneverwrongedyouinanyway，andIthinkyouhadnorighttoprintthatcommunication；noright，neitheranyexcuse。Astopubliclyansweringthatcorrespondent，Iwouldassoonthinkofbandyingwordsinpublicwithanyotherprostitute。

Theeditorrepliedinamanly，frankacknowledgmentoferror。HehadnotlookedupthearticleitselfintheCenturybeforeprintingthecommunication。

"Yourletterhastaughtmealesson，"hesaid。"Theblamebelongstomefornothuntinguptheproofs。Pleaseacceptmyapology。"

MarkTwainwaslikelytobepeculiarlysensitivetoprintedinnuendos。

Notalways。Sometimeshewouldonlylaughatthemorbewhollyindifferent。Indeed，inhislateryears，heseldomcaredtoreadanythingabouthimself，onewayortheother，butatthetimeofwhichwearenowwriting——theperiodoftheearlyeighties——hewasalivetoanycommentofthepress。Hisstrongsenseofhumor，andstillstrongersenseofhumanweakness，causedhimtooverlookmanythingswhichanothermightregardasanaffront；butifthethingprintedweremerelyanuncalled—forslur，aninexcusableimputation，hewasinclinedtorageandplanviolence。Sometimesheconceivedretributionintheformoflibelsuitswithheavydamages。Sometimeshewroteblastinganswers，whichMrs。Clemenswouldnotlethimprint。

Atonetimeheplannedabiographyofacertaineditorwhoseemedtobemakingadeliberatepersonalcampaignagainsthishappiness。Clemenshadheardthatoffendingitemswerebeingprintedinthisman’spaper；

friends，reportingwithcustomaryexaggeration，declaredthatthesesneersandbrutalitiesappearedalmostdaily，sooftenastocausegeneralremark。

Thiswasenough。Hepromptlybegantocollectdata——damagingdata——

relatingtothateditor’spasthistory。HeevensetamantoworkinEnglandcollectinginformationconcerninghisvictim。Oneofhisnotebookscontainsthememoranda；afewitemswillshowhowterrificwastobetheonslaught。

Whenthenaturalistfindsanewkindofanimal，hewriteshimupintheinterestofscience。Nomatterifitisanunpleasantanimal。

Thisisanewkindofanimal，andinthecauseofsocietymustbewrittenup。Heisthepolecatofourspecies……HeispurelyandsimplyaGuiteauwiththecourageleftout……

Steelportraitsofhimasasortofidiot，frominfancyup——toadozenscatteredthroughthebook——allshouldresemblehim。

Butnevermindtherest。WhenhehadgotthoroughlyinterestedinhisprojectMrs。Clemens，whohadallowedthecyclonetowearitselfoutalittlewithitsownvehemence，suggestedthatperhapsitwouldbewelltohavesomeonemakeanexaminationofthefilesofthepaperandseejustwhathadbeensaidofhim。Sohesubscribedforthepaperhimselfandsetamantoworkonthebacknumbers。Wewilllethimtelltheconclusionofthematterhimself，inhisreportofittoHowells：

TheresultarrivedfrommyNewYorkmanthismorning。Oh，whatapitiablewreckofhighhopes！The"almostdaily"assaultsfortwomonthsconsistof(1)adversecriticismofP。&P。fromanenragedidiotintheLondonAthenaeum，(2)paragraphsfromsomeindignantEnglishmaninthePallMallGazette，whopaysmethevastcomplimentofgravelyrebukingsomeimaginaryasswhohassetmeupintheneighborhoodofRabelais，(3)aremarkabouttheMontrealdinner，touchedwithanalmostinvisiblesatire，and，(4)aremarkaboutrefusalofCanadiancopyright，notcomplimentary，butnotnecessarilymalicious；andofcourseadversecriticismwhichisnotmaliciousisathingwhichnonebutfoolsirritatethemselvesabout。

There，thatistheprodigiousbugabooinitsentirety！Canyouconceiveofaman’sgettinghimselfintoasweatoversodiminutiveaprovocation？IamsureIcan’t。Whatthedevilcanthosefriendsofminehavebeenthinkingabouttospreadthosethreeorfourharmlessthingsoutintotwomonthsofdailysneersandaffronts？

Boileddown，thisvastoutpouringofmaliceamountstosimplythis：

onejest(onecanmakenothingmoreseriousthanthatoutofit)。

Onejest，andthatisall；forforeigncriticismsdonotcount，theybeingmattersofnews，andproperforpublicationinanybody’snewspaper……

Well，mymountainhasbroughtforthitsmouse，andasufficientlysmallmouseitis，Godknows。Andmythreeweeks’hardworkhasgottogointotheignominiouspigeonhole。Confoundit，Icouldhaveearnedtenthousanddollarswithinfinitelylesstrouble。

Howellsreferstothisepisode，andconcludes：

Sothepaperwasacquittedandtheeditor’slifewasspared。Thewretchnever，neverknewhownearhewastolosingit，withincrediblepreliminariesofobloquy，andasubsequentdevotiontolastinginfamy。

CXXXVIII

MANYUNDERTAKINGS

TowriteadetailedbiographyofMarkTwainatthisperiodwouldbetodefyperusal。Eventosetdownalltheinterestingmatters，interestingtothepublicofhistime，wouldmeannotonlytoexhaustthesubject，butthereader。Helivedatthetopofhisbent，andalmostanythingrelatingtohimwasregardedasnews。Dailyandhourlyhemingledwithimportantmattersorspokeconcerningthem。AbarelistoftheinterestingeventsofMarkTwain’slifewouldfillalargevolume。

Hewassobusy，sodeeplyinterestedhimself，sovitallyalivetoeveryhumanaspect。Hereadthepapersthrough，andtherewasalwaysenoughtoarousehisindignation——thedoingsofthehumanraceatlargecouldbereliedupontodothat——andhewouldwrite，andwrite，torelievehimself。HismentalNiagarawasalwayspouringaway，turningoutarticles，essays，communicationsoneveryconceivablesubject，mainlywiththeideaofreform。Thereweremanypublicandprivateabuses，andhewantedtocorrectthemall。Hecoveredreamsofpaperwithluridheresies——political，religious，civic——formostofwhichtherewasnohopeofpublication。

Nowandthenhewasallowedtospeakout：AnorderfromthePast—officeDepartmentatWashingtonconcerningthesuperscriptionofenvelopesseemedtohimunwarranted。Heassailedit，anddirectlythenationwasbeingentertainedbyacontroversybetweenMarkTwainandthePostmaster—

General’sprivatesecretary，whosubsequentlyrecededfromthefield。

Atanothertime，onthematterofpostagerateshewroteapaperwhichbegan："Reader，supposeyouwereanidiot。AndsupposeyouwereamemberofCongress。ButIrepeatmyself。"

Itishardlynecessarytoaddthatthepaperdidnotappear。

Onthewhole，Clemenswrotehisstricturesmoreforreliefthantoprint，andsuchofthesepapersasarepreservedto—dayformacuriouscollectionofhumandocuments。Manyofthemcouldbeprintedto—day，withoutdistresstoanyone。Theconditionsthatinvitedthemarechanged；theheresiesarenotheresiesanymore。Hemayhavehadsomethoughtoftheirpublicationinlateryears，foroncehewrote：

SometimesmyfeelingsaresohotthatIhavetotakethepenandputthemoutonpapertokeepthemfromsettingmeafireinside；thenallthatinkandlaborarewastedbecauseIcan’tprinttheresult。

Ihavejustfinishedanarticleofthiskind，anditsatisfiesmeentirely。Itdoesmyweather—beatensoulgoodtoreadit，andadmirethetroubleitwouldmakeformeandthefamily。Iwillleaveitbehindandutteritfromthegrave。Thereisafreespeechthere，andnoharmtothefamily。

Itistoolateandtoosoontoprintmostofthesethings；toolatetoprintthemfortheirsalutaryinfluence，toosoontoprintthemasliterature。

Hewasinterestedineverything：inmusic，aslittleasheknewofit。

Hehadanearformelody，adramaticvision，andthepoeticconceptionofsound。Readingsomeliltinglyric，hecouldfancythewordsmarchingtomelody，andwouldcastaboutamonghisfriendsforsomeonewhocouldsupplyatunefulsetting。OncehewrotetohisfriendtheRev。Dr。

Parker，whowasaskilledmusician，urginghimtowriteascoreforTennyson’s"BugleSong，"outlininganattractiveschemeforitwhichtheorderofhisfancyhadformulated。Dr。Parkerrepliedthatthe"BugleSong，"oftenattempted，hadbeenthedespairofmanymusicians。

Hewasinterestedinbusinessaffairs。Already，beforetheEuropeantrip，hehadembarkedin，anddisembarkedfrom，anumberofpecuniaryventures。Hehadnotbeensatisfiedwithastrictlyliteraryincome。

Theoldtendencytospeculativeinvestment，acquiredduringthoserestlessminingdays，alwayspossessedhim。TherewerenosilverminesintheEast，noholesinthegroundintowhichtoemptymoneyandeffort；

buttherewereplentyofequivalents——inventions，stockcompanies，andthelike。HehadbegunbyputtingfivethousanddollarsintotheAmericanPublishingCompany；butthatwasasoundandprofitableventure，anddeservestoberememberedforthatreason。

Thenamancamealongwithapatentsteamgeneratorwhichwouldsaveninetypercent。ofthefuelenergy，orsomesuchamount，andMarkTwainwasearlypersuadedthatitwouldrevolutionizethesteammanufacturesoftheworld；soheputinwhateverbanksurplushehadandbadeitapermanentgood—by。

Followingthesteamgeneratorcameasteampulley，arathersmallcontrivance，butitsucceededinextractingthirty—twothousanddollarsfromhisbankaccountinaperiodofsixteenmonths。

Bythetimehehadaccumulatedafreshbalance，anewmethodofmarinetelegraphywasshownhim，soheusedituponthat，twenty—fivethousanddollarsbeingthepriceofthisadventure。

AwatchcompanyinwesternNewYorkwasreadytosellhimablockofsharesbythetimehewaspreparedtoexperimentagain，butitdidnotquitelivetodeclarethefirstdividendonhisinvestment。

SenatorJohnP。Jonesinvitedhimtojoinintheorganizationofanaccidentinsurancecompany，andsuchwasJones’sconfidenceintheventurethatheguaranteedClemensagainstloss。MarkTwain’sonlyprofitfromthissourcewasinthedeliveryofadeliciousspeech，whichhemadeatadinnergiventoCorneliusWalford，ofLondon，aninsuranceauthorofrepute。Joneswaspayingbackthemoneypresently，andaboutthattimecameayounginventornamedGrahamBell，offeringstockinacontrivanceforcarryingthehumanvoiceonanelectricwire。AtalmostanyothertimeClemenswouldeagerlyhavewelcomedthisopportunity；buthewassogratifiedathavinggothismoneyoutoftheinsuranceventurethatherefusedtorespondtothehappy"hello"calloffortune。Insomememorandamadethirtyyearslaterhesaid：

Ideclined。IsaidIdidn’twantanythingmoretodowithwildcatspeculation。Thenhe[Bell]offeredthestocktomeattwenty—five。I

saidIdidn’twantitatanyprice。Hebecameeager；insistedthatI

takefivehundreddollars’worth。HesaidhewouldsellmeasmuchasI

wantedforfivehundreddollars；offeredtoletmegatheritupinmyhandsandmeasureitinaplughat；saidIcouldhaveawholehatfulforfivehundreddollars。ButIwastheburntchild，andIresistedallthesetemptations—resistedthemeasily；wentoffwithmycheckintact，andnextdaylentfivethousandofit，onanunendorsednote，toafriendwhowasgoingtogobankruptthreedayslater。

AbouttheendoftheyearIputupatelephonewirefrommyhousedowntotheCourantoffice，theonlytelephonewireintown，andthefirstonethatwaseverusedinaprivatehouseintheworld。

ThathadbeenonlyalittlewhilebeforehesailedforEurope。Whenhereturnedhewouldhavebeenwillingtoacceptaverytriflinginterestinthetelephoneindustryfortheamountofhisinsurancesalvage。

Hehadafreshinterestinpatentsnow，andwhenhisoldfriendDanSlotegotholdofanewprocessforengraving——thekaolatypeor"chalk—plate"

process——whichwasgoingtorevolutionizetheworldofillustration，hepromptlyacquiredathirdinterest，andeventuallywassatisfiedwithnothingshortofcontrol。Itwasaningeniousprocess：asheetofperfectlysmoothsteelwascoatedwithapreparationofkaolin(orchinaclay)，andapicturewasengravedthroughthecoatingdowntothesteelsurface。Thisformedthematrixintowhichthemoltenmetalwaspouredtomakethestereotypeplate，ordie，forprinting。ItwasClemens’snotionthathecouldutilizethisprocessforthecastingofbrassdiesforstampingbookcovers——that，soapplied，thefortunestobemadeoutofitwouldbelargerandmorenumerous。Howellstellshow，atonetime，Clemensthoughtthe"damnedhumanrace"wasalmosttoberedeemedbyaprocessoffoundingbrasswithoutair—bubblesinit。Thiswasthetimereferredtoandtheracehadtogounredeemed；for，afterlong，worried，costlyexperimenting，thebrassrefusedtoaccommodateitsnaturetothenewidea，whilethechalkplateitself，withallitssubsidiaryandauxiliarypossibilities，wasinfringeduponrightandleft，andtheprotectingpatentfailedtohold。Theprocesswasdoomed，inanycase。

Itwasbarelyestablishedbeforethephotographicetchingprocesses，superiorinallways，weredevelopedandcamequicklyintouse。Thekaolatypeenterprisestrugglednoblyforaconsiderableperiod。Clemensbroughthisniece’shusband，youngCharlesL。Webster，fromFredoniatomanageitforhim，andbackeditliberally。Websterwasvigorous，hard—

working，andcapable；buttheendofeachmonthshowedadeficit，untilClemenswasfromfortytofiftythousanddollarsoutofpocketinhisefforttosavetheracewithchalkandbrass。Thehistoryoftheseseveralventures(andtherewereothers)，dismissedhereinafewparagraphs，wouldalonemakeavolumenotwithoutinterest，certainlynotwithouthumor。Followingcamethetype—settingmachine，butwearenotreadyforthat。Ofnecessityitisalonger，costlierstory。

Mrs。Clemensdidnotsharehisenthusiasminthesevariousenterprises。

Shedidnotopposethem，atleastnotstrenuously，butshedidnotencouragethem。Shedidnotseetheirneed。Theirhomewasbeautiful；

theywerehappy；hecoulddohisworkindeliberationandcomfort。Sheknewthevalueofmoneybetterthanhe，caredmoreforitinherownway；

butshehadnothisdesiretoheapupvastandsuddensums，torevelintorrentialgoldenshowers。Shewaswillingtoletwellenoughalone。

Clemenscouldnotdothis，andsufferedaccordingly。Inthemidstoffairhomesurroundingsandhonorswefindhimwritingtohismother：

Lifehascometobeaveryseriousmatterwithme。Ihaveabadgered，harassedfeelingagoodpartofmytime。Itcomesmainlyfrombusinessresponsibilitiesandannoyances。

Hehadnomoralrighttobeconnectedwithbusinessatall。Hehadalargeperceptionofbusinessopportunity，butnovisionofitsrequirements——itsdifficultiesanddetails。Hewasthesoulofhonor，butinanythingresemblingpracticaldirectionhewasbutachild。

Duringanyperiodofbusinessventurehewaslikelytobeinhotwater：

eagerlyexcited，worried，impatient；alternatelysuspiciousandover—

trusting，rash，frenzied，andaltogetherupset。

Yetnever，eventotheendofhisdays，wouldhepermanentlylosefaithinspeculativeventures。Humantraitsaresometimesmodified，butnevereliminated。Themanwhoisborntobeavictimofmisplacedconfidencewillcontinuetobeonesolongashelivesandtherearemenwillingtovictimizehim。Themanwhobelievesinhimselfasaninvestorwillupholdthatfaithagainstalldisastersolongashedrawsbreathandhasmoneytobackhisjudgments。

CXXXIX

FINANCIALANDLITERARY

Byastatementmadeonthe1stofJanuary，1882，ofMarkTwain’sdisbursementsfortheprecedingyear，itisshownthatconsiderablymorethanonehundredthousanddollarshadbeenexpendedduringthattwelvemonths。Itisalargesumforanauthortopayoutinoneyear。Itwouldcrampmostauthorstodoit，anditwasnotthebestfinancing，evenforMarkTwain。Itrequiredallthatthebookscouldearn，alltheincomefromthevarioussecurities，andafairsumfromtheirprincipal。

Thereisagooddealofbiographyinthestatement。Oftheamountexpendedforty—sixthousanddollarsrepresentedinvestments；butofthiscomfortablesumlessthanfivethousanddollarswouldcoverthelegitimatepurchases；theresthadgoneinthe"ventures"fromwhosebournenodollarwouldeverreturn。Also，alargesumhadbeenspentfortheadditionallandandforimprovementsonthehome——somewhatmorethanthirtythousanddollarsaltogether——whilethehomelifehadbecomemorelavish，theestablishmenthadgrowneachyeartoalargerscale，theguestsandentertainmentshadbecomemoreand，morenumerous，untiltheactualhouseholdexpenditurerequiredaboutasmuchasthebooksandsecuritiescouldearn。

ItwaswiththeincreasedscaleoflivingthatClemenshadbecomeespeciallyeagerforsomesourceofcommercialprofit；somethingthatwouldyieldareturn，notinpaltrythousands，buthundredsofthousands。

LikeColonelSellers，hemusthavesomethingwith"millionsinit。"

Almostanypropositionthatseemedtoofferthesepossiblemillionsappealedtohim，andinhisimaginationhesawthegoldenfreshetpouringin。

Hisnaturaltastewasforasimple，inexpensivelife；yetinhislargehospitality，andinacertainboyishloveofgrandeur，hegloriedinthesplendorofhisentertainment，theadmirationanddelightofhisguests。

Therewerealwaysguests；theywerecomingandgoingconstantly。Clemensusedtosaythatheproposedtoestablishabuslinebetweentheirhouseandthestationfortheaccommodationofhiscompany。HehadtheSouthernhospitality。Muchcompanyappealedtoaverylargeelementinhisstrangelycompoundednature。Forthebetterportionoftheyearhewaswillingtopaythepriceofit，whetherinmoneyorinendurance，andMrs。Clemensheroicallydidherpart。Shelovedthesethingsalso，inherownway。Shetookprideinthem，andrealizedthattheywereapartofhisvastsuccess。Yetinherheartsheoftenlongedforthesimplerlife——aboveall，forthefarmlifeatElmira。Herspiritcriedoutfortherestandcomfortthere。Inoneofherlettersshesays：

Thehousehasbeenfullofcompany，andIhavebeen"whirledaround。"Howcanabodyhelpit？Oh，Icannothelpsighingforthepeaceandquietofthefarm。Thisismywork，andIknowthatIdoverywrongwhenIfeelchafedbyit，buthowcanIberightaboutit？Sometimesitseemsasifthesimplesightofpeoplewoulddrivememad。Iamallwrong；ifIwouldsimplyacceptthefactthatthisismyworkandletotherthingsgo，IknowIshouldnotbesofretted；butIwantsomuchtodootherthings，tostudyanddothingswiththechildren，andIcannot。

IhavethebestFrenchteacherthatIeverhad，andifIcouldgiveanytimetoitIcouldnothelplearningFrench。

Whenwereflectontheconditions，weareinclinedtosayhowmuchbetteritwouldhavebeentohaveremainedthereamongthehillsinthatquiet，inexpensiveenvironment，tohavelettheworldgo。Butthatwasnotpossible。Thegamewasoffarlargerproportionsthananythatcouldberestrictedtothelimitsofretirementandthesimplerroundoflife。

MarkTwain’srealmhadbecometoolargeforhiscourttobeestablishedinacottage。

ItishardtounderstandthatinspiteofatoweringfameMarkTwainwasstillnotregardedbycertainAmericanarbitersofreputationsasaliteraryfixture；hisworkwasnotyetrecognizedbythemasbeingofimportantmeaningandseriouspurport。

InBoston，atthattimestilltheAthensofAmerica，hewasenjoyed，delightedin；buthewasnothonoredasbeingquiteoneoftheelect。

Howellstellsusthat：

Inproportionaspeoplethoughtthemselvesrefinedtheyquestionedthatqualitywhichallrecognizeinhimnow，butwhichwasthentheinspiredknowledgeofthesimple—heartedmultitude。

EvenattheAtlanticdinnershisplacewas"belowthesalt"——aplaceofhonor，butnotofthegreatesthonor。HedidnotsitonthedaiswithEmerson，Longfellow，Holmes，Whittier，Howells，andAldrich。Weofalaterperiod，whorememberhimalwaysasthecenterofeveryboard——theonesupremefigure，hissplendidheadandcrownofsilverhairthetargetofeveryeye—findithardtorealizetheCambridgeconservatismthatcladhimfigurativelyalwaysinmotley，andseatedhimlowerthanthethroneitself。

Howellsclearlyresentedthiscondition，andfromrandomreviewcornershadventuredheresy。Nowin1882heseemstohavedeterminedtodeclarehimself，inalarge，freeway，concerninghisownpersonalestimateofMarkTwain。HepreparedfortheCenturyMagazineabiographicalappreciation，inwhichheservednoticetotheworldthatMarkTwain’swork，consideredevenasliterature，wasofveryconsiderableimportanceindeed。WhetherornotHowellsthenrealizedthe"inspiredknowledgeofthemultitude，"andthatmostofthenationoutsideofthecountiesofSuffolkandEssexalreadyrecognizedhisclaim，isnotmaterial。Verylikelyhedid；buthealsorealizedthementalduskofthecultureduninspiredandhisprerogativetoenlightenthem。HisCenturyarticlewasakindofmanifesto，adeclarationofindependence，nolongerconfinedtotheobscuritiesofcertainbooknotices，whereofcourseonemightbeexpectedtostretchfriendlyfavoralittleforapopularAtlanticcontributor。IntheopenfieldoftheCenturyMagazineHowellsventuredtodeclare：

MarkTwain’shumorisassimpleinformandasdirectasthestatesmanshipofLincolnorthegeneralshipofGrant。

WhenIthinkhowpurelyandwhollyAmericanitisIamalittlepuzzledatitsuniversalacceptance……Why，infine，shouldanEnglishchief—justicekeepMarkTwain’sbooksalwaysathand？

WhyshouldDarwinhavegonetothemforrestandrefreshmentatmidnight，whenspentwithscientificresearch？

IsupposethatMarkTwaintranscendsallotherAmericanhumoristsintheuniversalqualities。Hedealsverylittlewiththepathetic，whichheneverthelessknowsverywellhowtomanage，ashehasshown，notablyinthetruestoryoftheoldslave—mother；butthereisapoeticliftinhiswork，evenwhenhepermitsyoutorecognizeitonlyassomethingsatirized。Thereisalwaysthetouchofnature，thepresenceofasincereandfrankmanlinessinwhathesays，thecompanionshipofaspiritwhichisatoncedelightfullyopenanddeliciouslyshrewd。ElsewhereIhavetriedtopersuadethereaderthathishumoris，atitsbest，thefoamybreakofthestrongtideofearnestnessinhim。Butitwouldbelimitinghimunjustlytodescribehimasasatirist，anditishardlypracticabletoestablishhiminpeople’smindsasamoralist；hehasmadethemlaughtoolong；theywillnotbelievehimserious；theythinksomejokeisalwaysintended。Thisisthepenalty，asDr。Holmeshaspointedout，ofmakingone’sfirstsuccessasahumorist。TherewasapaperofMarkTwain’sprintedintheAtlanticMonthlysomeyearsagoandcalled，"TheFactsConcerningtheLateCarnivalofCrimeinConnecticut，"whichoughttohavewonpopularrecognitionoftheethicalintelligenceunderlyinghishumor。Itwas，ofcourse，funny；butunderthefunitwasanimpassionedstudyofthehumanconscience。HawthorneorBunyanmighthavebeenproudtoimaginethatpowerfulallegory，whichhadagrotesqueforcefarbeyondeitherofthem……YetitquitefailedoftheresponseIhadhopedforit，andIshallnotinsisthereuponMarkTwainasamoralist；

thoughIwarnthereaderthatifheleavesoutoftheaccountanindignantsenseofrightandwrong，ascornofallaffectationsandpretense，anardenthateofmeannessandinjustice，hewillcomeinfinitelyshortofknowingMarkTwain。

Howellsrealizedtheunwisdomandweaknessofdogmaticinsistence，andthestrengthofunderstatement。TohimMarkTwainwasalreadythemoralist，thephilosopher，andthestatesman；hewaswillingthatthereadershouldtakehistimetorealizethesethings。Thearticle，withhissubject’sportraitasafrontispiece，appearedintheCenturyforSeptember，1882。Ifitcarriednonewmessagetomanyofitsreaders，itatleastsetthestampofofficialapprovaluponwhattheyhadalreadyestablishedintheirhearts。

CXL

DOWNTHERIVER

OsgoodwasdoingnogreatthingswithThePrinceandthePauper，butClemensgavehimanotherbookpresently，acollectionofsketches——TheStolenWhiteElephant。Itwasnotanespeciallyimportantvolume，thoughsomeofthefeatures，suchas"Mrs。McWilliamsandtheLightning"andthe"CarnivalofCrime，"areamongthebestoftheirsort，whilethe"Elephant"storyisanamazinglygoodtake—offonwhatmightbecalledthespectaculardetective。TheinterviewbetweenInspectorBluntandtheowneroftheelephantistypical。Theinspectorasks：

"Nowwhatdoesthiselephanteat，andhowmuch？"

"Well，astowhatheeats——hewilleatanything。Hewilleataman，hewilleataBible；hewilleatanythingbetweenamanandaBible。"

"Good—verygood，indeed，buttoogeneral。Detailsarenecessary；

detailsaretheonlyvaluablethinginourtrade。Verywell，astomen。Atonemeal——or，ifyouprefer，duringoneday——howmanymenwillheeatiffresh？"

"Hewouldnotcarewhethertheywerefreshornot；atasinglemealhewouldeatfiveordinarymen。"

"Verygood；fivemen。Wewillputthatdown。Whatnationalitieswouldheprefer？"

"Heisindifferentaboutnationalities。Heprefersacquaintances，butisnotprejudicedagainststrangers。"

"Verygood。Now，astoBibles。HowmanyBibleswouldheeatatameal？"

"Hewouldeatanentireedition。"

ClemensandOsgoodhadamoreimportantpublishingenterpriseonhand。

Thelong—deferredcompletionoftheMississippibookwastobeaccomplished；thelong—deferredtripdowntheriverwastobetaken。

Howellswasgoingabroad，butthecharmingOsgoodwaswillingtomaketheexcursion，andayoungmannamedRoswellPhelps，ofHartford，wasengagedasastenographertotakethenotes。

ClemensmadeafarewelltriptoBostontoseeHowellsbeforehisdeparture，andtogethertheywenttoConcordtocallonEmerson；afortunatething，forhelivedbutafewweekslonger。Theywentagainintheevening，nottoseehim，buttostandreverentlyoutsideandlookathishouse。ThiswasinApril。LongfellowhaddiedinMarch。ThefactthatHowellswasgoingawayindefinitely，madethemreminiscentandsad。

JustwhatbreachClemenscommittedduringthisvisitisnotrememberednow，anditdoesnotmatter；buthislettertoHowells，afterhisreturntoHartford，makesitprettyclearthatitwasmemorableenoughatthetime。Half—wayinithebreaksout：

Butoh，hell，thereisnohopeforapersonthatisbuiltlikeme，becausethereisnocure，nocure。

IfIcouldonlyknowwhenIhavecommittedacrime：thenIcouldconcealit，andnotgostupidlydribblingitout，circumstancebycircumstance，intotheearsofapersonwhowillgivenosigntilltheconfessioniscomplete；andthenthesuddendamnationdropsonabodylikethereleasedpile—driver，andhefindshimselfintheearthdowntohischin。Whenhemerelysupposedhewasbeingentertaining。

NextdayhewasoffwithOsgoodandthestenographerforSt。Louis，wheretheytookthesteamerGoldDustdowntheriver。Heintendedtotravelunderanassumedname，butwaspromptlyrecognized，bothattheSouthernHotelandontheboat。In’LifeontheMississippi’hehasgivenustheatmosphereofhistrip，withhisnewimpressionsofoldscenes；alsohisfirstinterviewwiththepilot，whomhedidnotremember，butwhoeasilyrememberedhim。

"Ididnotwritethatstoryinthebookquiteasithappened，"hereflectedonce，manyyearslater。"Wewentonboardatnight。NextmorningIwasupbrightandearlyandoutondecktoseeifIcouldrecognizeanyoftheoldlandmarks。Icouldnotrememberany。Ididnotknowwherewewereatall。Itwasanewrivertomeentirely。Iclimbedupinthepilot—houseandtherewasafellowofaboutfortyatthewheel。

Isaid’Goodmorning。’Heansweredpleasantlyenough。Hisfacewasentirelystrangetome。ThenIsatdownonthehighseatbackofthewheelandlookedoutattheriverandbegantoaskafewquestions，suchasalandsmanwouldask。Hebegan，intheoldway，tofillmeupwiththeoldlies，andIenjoyedlettinghimdoit。Thensuddenlyheturnedroundtomeandsaid：

"’Iwanttogetacupofcoffee。Youholdher，willyou，tillIcomeback？’AndbeforeIcouldsayawordhewasoutofthepilot—housedooranddownthesteps。ItallcamesosuddenlythatIsprangtothewheel，ofcourse，asIwouldhavedonetwentyyearsbefore。TheninamomentI

realizedmyposition。HereIwaswithagreatbigsteamboatinthemiddleoftheMississippiRiver，withoutanyfurtherknowledgethanthatfact，andthepilotoutofsight。Isettledmymindonthreeconclusions：first，thatthepilotmightbealunatic；second，thathehadrecognizedmeandthoughtIknewtheriver；third，thatwewereinaperfectlysafeplace，whereIcouldnotpossiblykillthesteamboat。Butthatlastconclusion，thoughthemostcomforting，wasanextremelydoubtfulone。Iknewperfectlywellthatnosanepilotwouldtrusthissteamboatforasinglemomentinthehandsofagreenhornunlesshewerestandingbythegreenhorn’sside。Ofcourse，byforceofhabit，whenI

grabbedthewheel，Ihadtakenthesteeringmarksaheadandastern，andI

madeupmymindtoholdheronthosemarkstothehair；butIcouldfeelmyselfgettingoldandgray。ThenallatonceIrecognizedwherewewere；wewereinwhatiscalledtheGrandChain——asuccessionofhiddenrocks，oneofthemostdangerousplacesontheriver。Thereweretworocksthereonlyaboutseventyfeetapart，andyou’vegottogoexactlybetweenthemorwrecktheboat。TherewasatimewhenIcouldhavedoneitwithoutatremor，butthattimewasn’tnow。Iwouldhavegivenanyreasonablesumtohavebeenontheshorejustatthatmoment。IthinkI

wasaboutreadytodropdeadwhenIheardasteponthepilothousestair；

thenthedooropenedandthepilotcamein，quietlypickinghisteeth，andtookthewheel，andIcrawledweaklybacktotheseat。Hesaid：

"’Youthoughtyouwereplayinganicejokeonme，didn’tyou？YouthoughtIdidn’tknowwhoyouwere。Why，Irecognizedthatdrawlofyoursassoonasyouopenedyourmouth。’

"Isaid，’Whotheh——lareyou？Idon’trememberyou。’

"’Well，’hesaid，’perhapsyoudon’t，butIwasacubpilotontheriverbeforethewar，whenyouwerealicensedpilot，andIcouldn’tgetalicensewhenIwasqualifiedforone，becausethePilots’Associationwassostrongatthattimethattheycouldkeepnewpilotsoutiftheywantedto，andthelawwasthatIhadtobeexaminedbytwolicensedpilots，andforagoodwhileIcouldnotgetanyonetomakethatexamination。Butonedayyouandanotherpilotofferedtodoit，andyouputmethroughagood，healthyexaminationandindorsedmyapplicationforalicense。Ihadneverseenyoubefore，andIhaveneverseenyousinceuntilnow，butIrecognizedyou。’

"’Allright，’Isaid。’ButifIhadgonehalfamilefartherwiththatsteamboatwemighthaveallbeenatthebottomoftheriver。’

"Wegottobegoodfriends，ofcourse，andIspentmostofmytimeuptherewithhim。WhenwegotdownbelowCairo，andtherewasabig，fullriver——foritwashighwaterseasonandtherewasnodangeroftheboathittinganythingsolongasshekeptintheriver——Ihadhermostofthetimeonhiswatch。Hewouldliedownandsleep，andleavemetheretodreamthattheyearshadnotslippedaway；thattherehadbeennowar，nominingdays，noliteraryadventures；thatIwasstillapilot，happyandcare—freeasIhadbeentwentyyearsbefore。"

>Fromthebookwegatherthathecouldnotkeepoutofthepilot—house。

Hewaslikelytogetupatanyhourofthenighttostandhiswatch，andtrulyenoughtheyearshadslippedaway。Hewastheyoungfellowinhistwentiesagain，speculatingontheproblemsofexistenceandreadinghisfortuneinthestars。Toheightentheillusion，hehadhimselfcalledregularlywiththefour—o’clockwatch，inordernottomissthemornings。

——[Itwillrepaythereadertoturntochap。xxxofLifeontheMississippi，andconsiderMarkTwain’sword—pictureoftheriversunrise。]

Themajestyandsolitudeoftheriverimpressedhimmorethaneverbefore，especiallyitssolitude。Ithadbeensofulloflifeinhistime；nowithadreturnedoncemoretoitsprimalloneliness——thelonelinessofGod。

Atoneplacetwosteamboatswereinsightatonceanunusualspectacle。

Once，inthemouthofariver，henoticedasmallboat，whichhemadeouttobetheMarkTwain。Therehadbeenvariedchangesintwenty—oneyears；

onlytheoldfascinationofpilotingremainedunchanged。ToBixbyafterwardhewrote：

"I’dratherbeapilotthananythingelseI’veeverdoneinmylife。HowdoyourunPlumPoint？"

HemetBixbyatNewOrleans。BixbywascaptainnowonasplendidnewAnchorLinesteamboat，theCityofBatonRouge。TheAnchorLinesteamersweretheacmeofMississippiRiversteamboat—building，andtheywereabouttheendofit。Theywereimposinglymagnificent，buttheywereonlyasgorgeouscloudsthatmarkedthesunsetofMississippisteamboattravel。MarkTwainmadehistripdowntheriverjustintime。

InNewOrleanshemetGeorgeW。CableandJoelChandlerHarris，andtheyhadafraternizinggoodtimetogether，mousingabouttheoldFrenchQuarterorminglingwiththesociallifeofthemoderncity。HemadeatripwithBixbyinatugtotheWarmouthplantation，andtheyreviewedolddaystogether，asfriendspartedfortwenty—oneyearswill。

AltogethertheNewOrleanssojournwasapleasantone，saddenedonlybyanewspapernoticeofthedeath，inEdinburgh，ofthekindlyandgentleandbelovedDr。Brown。

ClemensarrangedtomakethetripuptheriverontheBatonRouge。Bixbyhadoneprettyinefficientpilot，andstoodmostofthewatcheshimself，sothatwith"SamClemens"inthepilot—housewithhim，itwaswonderfullylikethoseoldfirstdaysoflearningtheriver，backinthefifties。

"Samwasevermakingnotesinhismemorandum—book，justashealwaysdid，"saidBixbytothewriter，recallingthetime。"IwassorryIhadtostayatthewheelsomuch。IwantedtohavemoretimewithSamwithoutthinkingoftheriveratall。Samwassorry，too，fromwhathewroteafterhegothome。"

Bixbyproducedaletterinthefamiliarhandwriting。Itwasatender，heart—spokenletter：

Ididn’tseehalfenoughofyou。Itwasasoredisappointment。

Osgoodcouldhavetoldyou，ifhewould——discreetolddog——I

expectedtohaveyouwithmeallthetime。Altogether，themostpleasantpartofmyvisitwithyouwasafterwearrivedinSt。

Louis，andyouwereyouroldnaturalselfagain。Twentyyearshavenotaddedamonthtoyourageortakenafractionfromyourloveliness。

SaidBixby："WhenwearrivedinSt。LouiswecametothePlanters’Hotel；

tothisverytablewhereyouandIaresittingnow，andwehadacoupleofhotScotchesbetweenus，justaswehavenow，andwehadagoodlasttalkoveroldtimesandoldacquaintances。AfterhereturnedtoNewYorkhesentformypicture。Hewantedtouseitinhisbook。"

AtSt。Louisthetravelerschangedboats，andproceededuptheMississippitowardSt。Paul。ClemenslaidoffthreedaysatHannibal。

Delightfuldays[hewrotehome]。Loiteringaroundalldaylong，examiningtheoldlocalities，andtalkingwiththegrayheadswhowereboysandgirlswithmethirtyorfortyyearsago。IspentmynightswithJohnandHelenGarth，threemilesfromtown，intheirspaciousandbeautifulhouse。Theywerechildrenwithme，andafterwardschoolmates。

ThatworldwhichIknewinitsbloomingyouthisoldandbowedandmelancholynow；itssoftcheeksareleatheryandwithered，thefirehasgoneoutofitseyes，thespringfromitsstep。ItwillbedustandasheswhenIcomeagain。

Hehadneverseenthefarupperriver，andhefounditverysatisfying。

Hisnote—booksays：

ThebluffsallalongupaboveSt。Paulareexquisitelybeautifulwheretheroughandbrokenturretedrocksstandupagainsttheskyabovethesteep，verdantslopes。Theyareinexpressiblyrichandmellowincolor；softdarkbrownsmingledwithdullgreens——theverytintstomakeanartistworship。

Inafinalentryhewrote：

Theromanceofboatingisgonenow。InHannibalthesteamboatmanisnolongerthegod。

CXLI

LITERATUREANDPHILOSOPHY

Clemenstookafurthersteptowardbecomingapublisheronhisownaccount。NotonlydidhecontracttosupplyfundsfortheMississippibook，but，askaolatype，thechalk—engravingprocess，whichhadbeenlingeringlyandexpensivelydying，wasnowbecomemerelysomethingtoswearat，hehadhisniece’shusband，Webster，installedasOsgood’sNewYorksubscriptionmanager，withchargeofthegeneralagencies。Therewasnodelayinthismove。WebstermustgetwellfamiliarizedwiththeworkbeforetheMississippibook’spublication。

Hehadexpectedtohavethemanuscriptfinishedprettypromptly，butthefactthathehadpromiseditforacertaintimeparalyzedhiseffort。

Evenatthefarmheworkedwithoutmakingmuchheadway。AttheendofOctoberhewroteHowells：

Theweatherturnedcold，andwehadtorushhome，whileIstilllackedthirtythousandwords。Ihadbeensickandgotdelayed。I

amgoingtowritealldayandtwo—thirdsofthenightuntilthethingisdoneorbreakdownatit。Thespurandburdenofthecontractareintolerabletome。Icanenduretheirritationofitnolonger。Iwenttoworkatnineo’clockyesterdaymorningandwenttobedanhouraftermidnight。Resultoftheday(mainlystolenfrombooksthoughcreditgiven)，9，500words，soIreducedmyburdenbyone—thirdinoneday。Itwasfivedays’workinone。I

havenothingmoretoborroworsteal；therestmustallbewritten。

Itistendays’workandunlesssomethingbreaksitwillbefinishedinfive。

Hehadswornonce，whenhehadfinallyfinished’ATrampAbroad’，thathewouldneverlimithimselfastotimeagain。Buthehadforgottenthatvow，andwassufferingaccordingly。

HowellswrotefromLondonurginghimtodropeverythingandcomeovertoEuropeforrefreshment。

Wehaveseenlotsofnicepeople，andhavebeenmostpleasantlymadeof；butIwouldratherhaveyousmokeinmyfaceandtalkforhalfaday，justforpleasure，thantogotothebesthouseorclubinLondon。

Clemensanswered：

Yes，itwouldbemoreprofitabletometodothatbecause，withyoursocietytohelpme，Ishouldswiftlyfinishthisnowapparentlyinterminablebook。ButIcannotcome，becauseIamnotbosshere，andnothingbutdynamitecanmoveMrs。Clemensawayfromhomeinthewinterseason。

ThiswasinNovember，andhehadbrokenallrestrictionsastotime。Hedeclaredthathehadneverhadsuchafightoveranybookbefore，andthathehadtoldOsgoodandeverybodyconcernedthattheymustwait。

IhavesaidwithsufficientpositivenessthatIwillfinishthebookatnoparticulardate；thatIwillnothurryit；thatIwillnothurrymyself；thatIwilltakethingseasyandcomfortably——writewhenIchoosetowrite，leaveitalonewhenIdosoprefer……Ihavegoteverythingatadeadstandstill，andthatiswhereitoughttobe，andthatiswhereitmustremain；tofollowanyotherpolicywouldbetomakethebookworsethanitalreadyis。Ioughttohavefinisheditbeforeshowingittoanybody，andthensentitacrosstheoceantoyoutobeedited，asusual；foryouseemtobeagreatmanyshadeshappierthanyoudeservetobe，andifIhadthoughtofthisthingearlierIwouldhaveacteduponitandtakenthetucksomewhatoutofyourjoyousness。

Itwasalong，heartfeltletter。Neartheendofithesaid：

Cablehasbeenhere，creatingworshipersonallhands。Heisamarveloustalkeronadeepsubject。IdonotseehowevenSpencercouldunwindathoughtmoresmoothlyororderly，anddoitincleaner，clearer，crisperEnglish。HeastoundedTwichellwithhisfaculty。Youknowthatwhenitcomesdowntomoralhonesty，limpidinnocence，andutterlyblemishlesspiety，theapostlesweremerepolicementoCable；sowiththisinmindyoumustimaginehimatamidnightdinnerinBostontheothernight，wherewegatheredaroundtheboardoftheSummersetClub：Osgoodfull，BoyleO’Reillyfull，Fairchildresponsivelyloaded，andAldrichandmyselfpossessingthefloorandproperlyfortified。CabletoldMrs。Clemens，whenhereturnedhere，thatheseemedtohavebeenentertaininghimselfwithhorses，andhadadreamyideathathemusthavegonetoBostoninacattle—car。Itwasaverylargetime。Hecalleditanorgy。Andnodoubtitwas，viewedfromhisstandpoint。

OsgoodwantedMarkTwaintolecturethatfall，aspreliminaryadvertisingforthebook，with"LifeontheMississippi"ashissubject。Osgoodwascarefultomakethispropositionbymail，andprobablyitwasjustaswell；foriftherewasanysinglestrawthatcouldhavebrokenthebackofClemens’senduranceandmadehimviolentatthisparticulartime，itwasapropositiontogobackontheplatform。HisanswertoOsgoodhasnotbeenpreserved。

Clemensspokelittlethatwinter。InFebruaryheaddressedtheMondayEveningClubon"WhatisHappiness？"presentingatheorywhichinlateryearshedevelopedasapartofhis"gospel，"andpromulgatedinaprivatelyprintedvolume，’WhatisMan’？ItisthepostulatealreadymentionedinconnectionwithhisreadingofLecky，thateveryhumanaction，badorgood，istheresultofaselfishimpulse；thatistosay，theresultofadesireforthegreatercontentofspirit。Itisnotanewidea；philosophersinallageshaveconsideredit，andacceptedorrejectedit，accordingtotheirtemperamentandteachings，butitwasstartlingandapparentlynewtotheMondayEveningClub。Theyscoffedandjeeredatit；denounceditasamanifestfalsity。Theydidnotquiteseethenthattheremaybetwosortsofselfishness——brutalanddivine；

thathewhosacrificesotherstohimselfexemplifiesthefirst，whereashewhosacrificeshimselfforotherspersonifiesthesecond——thedivinecontentingofhissoulbyservingthehappinessofhisfellow—men。MarkTwainleftthisadmonitioninfurtheranceofthatbettersort：

"Diligentlytrainyouridealsupward，andstillupward，towardasummitwhereyouwillfindyourchiefestpleasure，inconductwhich，whilecontentingyou，willbesuretoconferbenefitsuponyourneighborandthecommunity。"

Itisadivineadmonition，evenif，initssuggestedmoralfreedom，itdoesseemtoconflictwiththatothertheorytheinevitablesequenceofcauseandeffect，descendingfromtheprimalatom。Thereisseemingirrelevanceinintroducingthismatterhere；butithasachronologicalrelation，anditpresentsamentalaspectofthetime。Clemenswasforty—eight，andbecomingmoreandmorethephilosopher；also，inlogicatleast，agooddealofapessimist。Hemadeabirthdayaphorismonthesubject：

"Themanwhoisapessimistbeforeheisforty—eightknowstoomuch；themanwhoisanoptimistafterheisforty—eightknowstoolittle。"

Hewasnevermorethanapessimistintheoryatanytime。Inpracticehewouldbeavisionary；abuilderofdreamsandfortunes，averitableColonelSellerstotheendofhisdays。

CXLII

"LIFEONTHEMISSISSIPPI"

TheMississippibookwascompletedatlastandplacedinOsgood’shandsforpublication。ClemenswasimmenselyfondofOsgood。OsgoodwouldcomedowntoHartfordandspenddaysdiscussingplansandplayingbilliards，whichtoMarkTwain’smindwastheproperwaytoconductbusiness。Besides，therewasWebster，whobythistime，oraverylittlelater，hadtheword"publisher"printedinhisletter—heads，andwastrulythat，sofarasthenewbookwasconcerned。Osgoodhadbecomelittlemorethanitsmanufacturer，shipping—agent，andaccountant。Itshouldbeaddedthathemadethebookwell，thoughsomewhatexpensively。

Hewasunaccustomedtogettingoutbigsubscriptionvolumes。Histasterantotheartistic，expensiveproduct。

"Thatbookcostmefiftythousanddollarstomake，"Clemensoncedeclared。"Blisscouldhavebuiltawholelibrary，forthatsum。ButOsgoodwasalovelyfellow。"

LifeontheMississippiwasissuedaboutthemiddleofMay。Itwasahandsomebookofitskindandasuccessfulbook，butnotimmediatelyaprofitableone，becauseofthemannerofitsissue。Itwasexperimental，andexperimentsarelikelytobecostly，evenwhensuccessfulinthefinalresult。

Amongotherthings，itpronouncedthefinaldoomofkaolatype。Theartistswhodrewthepicturesforitdeclinedtodrawthemiftheyweretobereproducedbythatprocess，orindeedunlesssomeoneofthelatelydiscoveredphotographicprocesseswasused。Furthermore，thelatterweremuchcheaper，anditwastotheadvantageofClemenshimselftorepudiatekaolatype，evenforhisownwork。

Websterwasorderedtowindupthelastendsoftheengravingbusinesswithaslittlesacrificeaspossible，andattendentirelytomoreprofitableaffairs——viz。，thedistributionofbooks。

Asliterature，theMississippibookwillrankwithMarkTwain’sbest——sofar，atleast，asthefirsttwentychaptersofitareconcerned。Earlierinthishistorythesehavebeensufficientlycommentedupon。Theyconstitutealiterarymemorialseeminglyasenduringastheriveritself。

Concerningtheremainingchaptersofthebook，theyarealsoliterature，butofadifferentclass。Thedifferenceisaboutthesameasthatbetween’ATrampAbroad’andthe’Innocents’。Itisthedifferencebetweenthelaborsofloveandduty；betweenartandindustry，literatureandjournalism。