第20章

Weadvancedand，kneelingathisfeet，kissedthesealuponhisring。Hetookuseachbythehandrepeatedlyduringtheaudienceandmadeusperfectlyatourease。

TheyremainedasmuchashalfanhourinthePresence；andthePopeconversedonavarietyofsubjects，includingthebusinessfailureofGeneralGrant，hislasthours，andthegreatsuccessofhisbook。Thefiguresseemedtohimhardlycredible，andwhenWebsterassuredhimthatalreadyaguaranteedsaleofonehundredthousandcopiesofhisownbiographyhadbeenpledgedbytheagentsheseemedevenmoreastonished。

"WeinItalycannotcomprehendsuchthings，"hesaid。"IknowyoudogreatworkinAmerica；IknowyouhavedoneagreatandnobleworkinregardtoGeneralGrant’sbook，butthatmyLifeshouldhavesuchasaleseemsimpossible。"

Heaskedabouttheirhome，theirchildren，andwasineverywaythekindly，gentle—heartedmanthathispicturedfacehasshownhim。Thenhegavethemhisfinalblessingandtheaudienceclosed。

Weeachagainkissedthesealonhisring。AsAnniewasabouttokissithesuddenlywithdrewhishandandsaid，"Andwillyou，alittleProtestant，kissthePope’sring？"Ashesaidthis，hisfacewasallsmiles，andmischiefwasclearlydelineateduponit。Heimmediatelyputbackhishandandshekissedthering。Wenowwithdrew，backingoutandmakingthreegenuflexionsasbefore。JustaswereachedthedoorhecalledtoDr。O’Reilly，"Nowdon’tpraisemetoomuch；tellthetruth，tellthetruth。"

CLX

AGREATPUBLISHERATHOME

Menarelikelytobespoiledbyprosperity，tobemadearrogant，evenharsh。SuccessmadeSamuelClemensmerelyelate，morekindly，morehumanlygenerous。EverydayalmosthewrotetoWebster，suggestingsomenewbookorventure，butalwaysconsiderately，alwaysdeferringtosuggestionsfromotherpointsofview。Once，whenitseemedtohimthatmatterswerenotgoingaswellasusual，avisitfromWebstershowedhimthatitwasbecauseofhisowncontinuedabsencefromthebusinessthathedidnotunderstand。Whereuponhewrote：

DEARCHARLEY，——Good——it’sallgoodnews。Everythingisonthepleasantestpossiblebasisnow，andisgoingtostayso。Iblamemyselfinnotlookinginonyouoftenerinthepast——thatwouldhavepreventedalltrouble。Imeantostandtomydutybetternow。

Atanothertime，realizingthepressofresponsibility，andthatWebsterwasnotentirelywell，hesentawarningfromMrs。Clemensagainstoverwork。Headded：

Yourlettershowsthatyouneedsuchawarning。SoIwarnyoumyselftolookafterthat。OverworkkilledMr。Langdonanditcankillyou。

Clemensfoundhisowncaresgreatlymultiplied。Hisconnectionwiththefirmwaswidelyknown，andmanyauthorssenthimtheirmanuscriptsorwrotehimpersonallettersconcerningthem。Furthermore，hewasbesetbyallthecranksandbeggarsinChristendom。Hisaffairsbecamesonumerousatlengththatheemployedabusinessagent，F。G。Whitmore，torelievehimofapartofhisburden。Whitmorelivedcloseby，andwasagoodbilliard—player。AlmostanythingfromthemorningmailservedasanexcusetosendforWhitmore。

Clemenswasfondofaffairswhentheyweregoingwell；helikedthegameofbusiness，especiallywhenitwaspretentiousandshowilyprosperous。

Itisprobablethathewasnevermoresatisfiedwithhisshareoffortunethanjustatthistime。Certainlyhishomelifewasneverhappier。

KatieLeary，forthirtyyearsinthefamilyservice，hassetdownsomeimpressionsofthatpleasantperiod。

Mr。Clemenswasaveryaffectionatefather。Heseldomleftthehouseatnight，butwouldreadtothefamily，firsttothechildrenuntilbedtime，afterwardtoMrs。Clemens。HeusuallyreadBrowningtoher。Theywereveryfondofit。Thechildrenplayedcharadesagreatdeal，andhewaswonderfulatthatgameandalwayshelpedthem。Theywereveryfondofprivatetheatricals。EverySaturdayoftheirlivestheyhadatemporarystageputupintheschool—roomandweallhadtohelp。Gerhardtpaintedthescenery。Theyfrequentlyplayedthebalconyscenefrom"RomeoandJuliet"andseveralplaystheywrotethemselves。Nowandthenwehadabiggeneralperformanceof"ThePrinceandthePauper。"Thatwouldbeinthelibraryandthedining—roomwiththefolding—doorsopen。Theplacejustheldeighty—fourchairs，andthestagewasplacedbackagainsttheconservatory。Thechildrenwerecrazyaboutactingandweallenjoyeditasmuchastheydid，especiallyMr。Clemens，whowasthebestactorofall。Ihadapart，too，andGeorge。Ihaveneverknownahappierhouseholdthantheirswasduringthoseyears。

Mr。Clemensspentmostofhistimeupinthebilliard—room，writingorplayingbilliards。OnedaywhenIwentin，andhewasshootingtheballsaroundthetables，Inoticedsmokecomingupfromthehearth。IcalledPatrick，，andJohnO’Neill，thegardener，andwebegantakingupthehearthtoseewhatwasthematter。Mr。Clemenskeptonplayingbilliardsrightalongandpaidnoattentiontowhatweweredoing。Finally，whenwegotthehearthup，alotofflameandsmokecameoutintotheroom。Thehousewasonfire。Mr。

Clemensnoticedthenwhatwewereabout，andwentovertothecornerwherethereweresomebottlefire—extinguishers。Hetookonedownandthrewitintotheflames。Thisputthemoutagooddeal，andhetookuphiscue，wentbacktothetable，andbegantoshoottheballsaroundagainasifnothinghadhappened。Mrs。Clemenscameinjustthenandsaid，"Why，thehouseisafire！"

"Yes，Iknowit，"hesaid，butwentonplaying。

Wehadatelephoneanditdidn’tworkverywell。Itannoyedhimagooddealandsometimeshe’dsay：

"I’lltearitout。"

OnedayhetriedtocallupMrs。Dr。Tafft。Hecouldnothearplainlyandthoughthewastalkingtocentral。"Senddownandtakethisd———thingoutofhere，"hesaid；"I’mtiredofit。"Hewasmad，andusingagooddealofbadlanguage。AllatonceheheardMrs。Dr。Tafftsay，"Oh，Mr。Clemens，goodmorning。"Hesaid，"Why，Mrs。Tafft，Ihavejustcometothetelephone。George，ourbutler，washerebeforemeandIheardhimswearingasIcameup。Ishallhavetotalktohimaboutit。"

Mrs。Tafftoftentolditonhim。——[MarkTwainoncewrotetothetelephonemanagement："Thetimeiscomingverysoonwhenthetelephonewillbeaperfectinstrument，whenproximitywillnolongerbeahindrancetoitsperformance，when，infact，onewillhearamanwhoisinthenextblockjustaseasilyandcomfortablyashewouldifthatmanwereinSanFrancisco。"]

Mrs。Clemens，beforeIwentthere，tookcareofhisdesk，butlittlebylittleIbegantolookafteritwhenshewasbusyatotherthings。FinallyItookcareofitaltogether，buthedidn’tknowitforalongtime。Onemorninghecaughtmeatit。"Whatareyoudoinghere？"heasked。

"Dusting，Mr。Clemens，"Isaid。

"Youhavenobusinesshere，"hesaid，verymad。

"I’vebeendoingitforayear，Mr。Clemens，"Isaid。"Mrs。Clemenstoldmetodoit。"

Afterthat，whenhemissedanything——andhemissedthingsoften——hewouldringforme。"Katie，"hewouldsay，"youhavelostthatmanuscript。"

"Oh，Mr。Clemens，"，Iwouldsay，"IamsureIdidn’ttouchit。"

"Yes，youdidtouchit，Katie。Youputitinthefire。Itisgone。"

Hewouldscoldthen，andfumeagreatdeal。ThenhewouldgooverandmarkoutwithhistoeonthecarpetalinewhichIwasnevertocross。"Katie，"hewouldsay，"youarenevertogonearertomydeskthanthatline。Thatisthedead—line。"OftenafterhehadscoldedmeinthemorninghewouldcomeinintheeveningwhereI

wasdressingMrs。Clemenstogooutandsay，"Katie，Ifoundthatmanuscript。"AndIwouldsay，"Mr。Clemens，IfeltsobadthismorningthatIwantedtogoaway。"

Hehadapipe—cleanerwhichhekeptonahighshelf。Itwasanawfulolddirtyone，andIdidn’tknowthatheeverusedit。ItookittothebalconywhichwasbuiltoutintothewoodsandthrewitawayasfarasIcouldthrowit。Nextdayheasked，"Katie，didyouseemypipe—cleaner？Youdidseeit；Icantellbyyourlooks。"

Isaid，"Yes，Mr。Clemens，Ithrewitaway。"

"Well，"hesaid，"itwasworthathousanddollars，"anditseemedsotome，too，beforehegotdonescoldingaboutit。

Itishardnottodwelltoolongonthehomelifeofthisperiod。Onewouldliketomakealongchapteroutofthoseplay—actingeveningsalone。TheyremainedalwaysfreshinMarkTwain’smemory。Oncehewroteofthem：

Wedinedaswecould，probablywithaneighbor，andbyquartertoeightintheeveningthehickoryfireinthehallwaspouringasheetofflameupthechimney，thehousewasinadrenchofgas—

lightfromthegroundfloorup，theguestswerearriving，andtherewasababbleofheartygreetings，withnotavoiceinitthatwasnotoldandfamiliarandaffectionate；andwhenthecurtainwentupwelookedoutfromthestageuponnonebutfacesthatweredeartous，nonebutfacesthatwerelitupwithwelcomeforus。

CLXI

HISTORY：MAINLYBYSUSY

Suzy，inherbiography，whichshecontinuedthroughthisperiod，writes：

MamaandIhavebothbeenverymuchtroubledoflatebecausepapa，sincehehadbeenpublishingGeneralGrant’sbooks，hasseemedtoforgethisownbooksandworksentirely；andtheotherevening，aspapaandIwerepromonadingupanddownthelibrary，hetoldmethathedidn’texpecttowritebutonemorebook，andthenhewasreadytogiveupworkaltogether，die，or，doanything；hesaidthathehadwrittenmorethanhehadeverexpectedto，andtheonlybookthathehadbeenpertickularlyanxioustowritewasonelockedupinthesafedownstairs，notyetpublished。

ThebooklockedinthesafewasCaptainStormfield，andtheoneheexpectedtowritewasAConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur’sCourt。Hehadalreadyworkedatitinadesultorywayduringtheearlymonthsof1886，andoncewroteofittoWebster：

Ihavebegunabookwhosesceneislaidfarbackinthetwilightoftradition；Ihavesaturatedmyselfwiththeatmosphereofthedayandthesubjectandgotmyselfintotheswingofthework。IfIpegawayforsomeweekswithoutabreakIamsafe。

Buthecouldnotpegaway。Hehadtoomanyironsinthefireforthat。

MatthewArnoldhadcriticizedGeneralGrant’sEnglish，andClemensimmediatelyputdownotherthingstorushtohishero’sdefense。HepointedoutthatinArnold’scriticismtherewerenolessthan"twogrammaticalcrimesandmorethanseveralexamplesofverycrudeandslovenlyEnglish，"andsaid：

Thereisthataboutthesunwhichmakesusforgethisspots，andwhenwethinkofGeneralGrantourpulsesquickenandhisgrammarvanishes；weonlyrememberthatthisisthesimplesoldier，who，alluntaughtofthesilkenphrase—makers，linkedwordstogetherwithanartsurpassingtheartoftheschools，andputintothemasomethingwhichwillstillbringtoAmericanears，aslongasAmericashalllast，therollofhisvanisheddrumsandthetreadofhismarchinghosts。——[AddresstoArmyandNavyClub。ForfulltextseeAppendix]

ClemensworkedattheYankeenowandthen，andHowells，whensomeofthechapterswerereadtohim，gaveitwarmapprovalandurgeditscontinuance。

HowellswasofteninHartfordatthistime。Webster&Co。wereplanningtopublishTheLibraryofHumor，whichHowellsand"Charley"Clarkhadeditedseveralyearsbefore，andoccasionalconferencesweredesirable。

Howellstellsusthat，afterheandClarkhadbeenatgreattroubletogetthematterlogicallyandchronologicallyarranged，Clemenspulleditalltopiecesandthrewittogetherhelter—skelter，declaringthatthereoughttobenosequenceinabookofthatsort，anymorethanintheaveragereader’smind；andHowellsadmitsthatthiswasprobablythetruermethodinabookmadeforthediversionratherthantheinstructionofthereader。

OneoftheliterarydiversionsofthistimewasacommentaryonadeliciouslittlebookbyCarolineB。LeRow——EnglishasSheIsTaught——

beingacompilationofgenuineanswersgiventoexaminationquestionsbypupilsinourpublicschools。MarkTwainwasamusedbysuchdefinitionsas："Aborigines，systemofmountains"；"Alias——agoodmanintheBible"；

"Ammonia——thefoodofthegods，"andsoondownthealphabet。

Susy，inherbiography，mentionsthatherfatheratthisistimereadtothemalittlearticlewhichhehadjustwritten，entitled"Luck，"andthattheythoughtitverygood。ItwasastorywhichTwichellhadheardandtoldtoClemens，whosetitdownaboutasitcametohim。Itwassupposedtobetrue，yetClemensseemedtothinkittooimprobableforliteratureandlaiditawayforanumberofyears。Weshallhearofitagainbyandby。

>FromSusy’smemorandawegatherthathumanityatthistimewastobehealedofallevilsandsorrowsthrough"mindcure"

Papahasbeenverymuchinterestedoflateinthe"mind—cure"

theory。And，infact，sohaveweall。Ayoungladyintownhasworkedwondersbyusingthe"mindcure"uponpeople；sheisconstantlybusynowcuringpeoples’diseasesinthisway——andcuringherown，even，whichtomeseemsthemostremarkableofall。

Alittlewhilepastpapawasdelightedwiththeknowledgeofwhathethoughtthebestwayofcuringacold，whichwasbystarvingit。

Thisstarvingdidworkbeautifully，andfreedhimfromagreatmanyseverecolds。Nowhesaysitwasn’tthestarvingthathelpedhiscolds，butthetrustinthestarving，the"mindcure"connectedwiththestarving。

Ishouldn’twonderifwefinallybecamefirmbelieversin"mindcure。"ThenexttimepapahasacoldIhaven’tadoubthewillsendforMissHolden，theyoungladywhoisdoctoringinthe"mind—cure"

theory，tocurehimofit。

Again，amonthlater，shewrites：

April19，1886。Yes，the"mindcure"doesseemtobeworkingwonderfully。Papa，whohasbeenusingglassesnowformorethanayear，haslaidthemoffentirely。Andmynear—sightednessisreallygettingbetter。Itseemsmarvelous。WhenJeanhasstomack—acheClaraandIhavetriedtodivertherbytellinghertolieonhersideandtry"mindcure。"Thenoveltyofithasmadeherwillingtotryit，andthenClaraandIwouldexclaimabouthowwonderfulitwasshewasgettingbetter。Andshewouldthinkitrealywasfinally，andstopcrying，toourdelight。

Theotherdaymamawentintothelibraryandfoundherlyingonthesofawithherbacktowardthedoor。Shesaid，"Why，Jean，what’sthematter？Don’tyoufeelwell？"Jeansaidthatshehadalittlestomack—ache，andsothoughtshewouldliedown。Mamasaid，"Whydon’tyoutry’mindcure’？""Iam，"Jeananswered。

HowellsandTwichellwereinvitedtotrythe"mindcure，"aswereallotherfriendswhohappenedalong。TotheendofhisdaysClemenswouldalwayshavesomepanaceatooffertoallayhumandistress。Itwasagoodtrait，whenallissaid，forithaditsrootinhishumanity。The"mindcure"didnotprovideallthesubstanceofthingshopedfor，thoughhealwaysallowedforitawideefficacy。Once，inlateryears，commentingonSusy’srecord，hesaid：

Themindcannothealbrokenbones，anddoubtlesstherearemanyotherphysicalillswhichitcannotheal，butitcangreatlyhelptomodifytheseveritiesofallofthemwithoutexception，andtherearementalandnervousailmentswhichitcanwhollyhealwithoutthehelpofphysicianorsurgeon。

Susyrecordsanotherburninginterestofthistime：

Clarasprainedheranklealittlewhileagobyrunningintoatreewhencoasting，andwhileshewasunabletowalkwithitsheplayedsolotairewithcardsagreatdeal。WhileClarawassickandpapasawherplaysolotairesomuchhegotverymuchinterestedinthegame，andfinallybegantoplayithimselfalittle；thenJeantookitup，andatlastmamaevenplayeditoccasionally；Jean’sandpapa’sloveforitrapidlyincreased，andnowJeanbringsthecardseverynighttothetableandpapaandmamahelpherplay，andbeforedinnerisatanendpapahasgottenaseparatepackofcardsandisplayingalone，withgreatinterest。MamaandClaranextaremadesubjecttothecontagioussolotaire，andtherearefoursolotarireansatthetable，whileyouhearnothingbut"Filluptheplace，"etc。Itisdreadful！

ButalittlefurtheralongSusypresentsherchiefsubjectmoreseriously。Heisnotaltogetherabsorbedwith"mindcure"andsolitaire，orevenwithmakinghumoroustales。

PapahasdoneagreatdealinhislifeIthinkthatisgoodandveryremarkable，butIthinkifhehadhadtheadvantageswithwhichhecouldhavedevelopedthegiftswhichhehasmadenouseofinwritinghisbooks，orinanyotherway，forpeoples’pleasureandbenefitoutsideofhisownfamilyandintimatefriends，hecouldhavedonemorethanhehas，andagreatdealmore，even。Heisknowntothepublicasahumorist，buthehasmuchmoreinhimthatisearnestthanthatishumorous。Hehasakeensenseoftheludicrous，noticesfunnystoriesandincidents，knowshowtotellthem，toimproveuponthem，anddoesnotforgetthem。

Andagain：

Whenweareallaloneathomeninetimesoutoftenhetalksaboutsomeveryearnestsubject(withanoccasionaljokethrownin)，andheagooddealmoreoftentalksuponsuchsubjectsthanupontheotherkind。

Heisasmuchofaphilosopherasanything，Ithink。Ithinkhecouldhavedoneagreatdealinthisdirectionifhehadstudiedwhileyoung，forheseemstoenjoyreasoningoutthings，nomatterwhat；inagreatmanysuchdirectionshehasgreaterabilitythaninthegiftswhichhavemadehimfamous。

ItwaswiththekeeneyesandjustmindofchildhoodthatSusyestimated，andthereislittletoaddtohervaluation。

Susy’sbiographycametoanendthatsummerafterstartingtorecordavisitwhichtheyallmadetoKeokuktoseeGrandmaClemens。TheywentbywayoftheLakesanddowntheMississippifromSt。Paul。Apleasantincidenthappenedthatfirsteveningontheriver。Soonafternightfalltheyenteredashoalcrossing。Clemens，standingaloneonthehurricane—

deck，heardthebigbellforwardboomoutthecallforleads。Thencametheleadsman’slong—drawnchant，oncesofamiliar，themonotonousrepeatinginriverparlanceofthedepthsofwater。Presentlytheleadhadfoundthatdepthofwatersignifiedbyhisnomdeplumeandthecallof"MarkTwain，MarkTwain"floateduptohimlikeasummonsfromthepast。Allatoncealittlefigurecamerunningdownthedeck，andClaraconfrontedhim，reprovingly：

"Papa，"shesaid，"Ihavehuntedallovertheboatforyou。Don’tyouknowtheyarecallingforyou？"

TheyremainedinKeokukaweek，andSusystartstotellsomethingoftheirvisitthere。Shebegins：

"WehavearrivedinKeokukafteraverypleasant————"

Thesentenceremainsunfinished。Wecannotknowwhatwastheinterruptionorwhatnewinterestkeptherfromhertask。Wecanonlyregretthatthelovinglittlehanddidnotcontinueitspleasanthistory。

Yearslater，whenSusyhadpassedfromamongthethingsweknow，herfather，commenting，said：

WhenIlookatthearrestedsentencethatendsthelittlebookitseemsasifthehandthattraceditcannotbefar——itisgoneforamomentonly，andwillcomeagainandfinishit。Butthatisadream；acreatureoftheheart，notofthemind——afeeling，alonging，notamentalproduct；thesamethatluredAaronBurr，old，gray，forlorn，forsaken，tothepierdayafterday，weekafterweek，theretostandinthegloomandthechillofthedawn，gazingseawardthroughveilingmistsandsleetandsnowfortheshipwhichheknewwasgonedown，theshipthatboreallhistreasure——hisdaughter。

EndMarkTwain，ABiography，1886—1900

ByAlbertBigelowPaineVOLUMEII，Part2：1886—1900

CLXII

BROWNING，MEREDITH，ANDMEISTERSCHAFT

TheBrowningreadingsmusthavebegunaboutthistime。JustwhatkindledMarkTwain’sinterestinthepoetryofRobertBrowningisnotremembered，butverylikelyhisearlierassociationswiththepoethadsomethingtodowithit。Whateverthebeginning，wefindhim，duringthewinterof1886and1887，studiously，evenviolently，interestedinBrowning’sverses，entertainingasortofcluborclasswhogatheredtohearhisrich，sympathetic，andluminousreadingofthePayleyings——"WithBernarddeMandeville，""DanielBartoli，"or"ChristopherSmart。"MembersoftheSaturdayMorningClubwereamonghislistenersandothers—friendsofthefamily。Theywereratherremarkablegatherings，andnooneofthatgroupbutalwaysvividlyrememberedthemarvelouslyclearinsightwhichMarkTwain’svocalpersonalitygavetothosesomewhatobscuremeasures。Theydidnotallofthemrealizethatbeforereadingapoemhestudieditlinebyline，evenwordbyword；dugoutitslastsyllableofmeaning，sofaraslaywithinhumanpossibility，andindicatedwithpencileveryshadeofemphasiswhichwouldhelptorevealthepoet’spurpose。NostudentofBrowningevermoredevoutlypersistedintryingtocompassamaster’sintent——insuchpoemsas"Sordello，"forinstance——thanMarkTwain。

Justwhatpermanentbenefithereceivedfromthisparticularpassionitisdifficulttoknow。Once，ataclass—meeting，afterfinishing"EasterDay，"hemadearemarkwhichtheclassrequestedhimto"writedown。"

Itisrecordedonthefly—leafofDramatisPersonaeasfollows：

One’sglimpses&confusions，asonereadsBrowning，remindmeoflookingthroughatelescope(thesmallsortwhichyoumustmovewithyourhand，notclock—work)。Youtoilacrossdarkspaceswhichare(toyourlens)empty；buteverynow&thenasplendorofstars&

sunsburstsuponyouandfillsthewholefieldwithflame。Feb。

23，1887。

Inanothernotehespeaksofthe"vaguedimflashofsplendidhamming—

birdsthroughafog。"WhatevermentaltreasureshemayormaynothavelaidupfromBrowningtherewasassuredlyadeepgratificationinthediscoveryofthosesplendorsof"starsandsuns"andtheflashing"humming—birds，"astheremustalsohavebeeninpointingoutthosewonderstothelittlecircleofdevoutlisteners。Itallseemedsoworthwhile。

ItwasatatimewhenGeorgeMeredithwasareigningliteraryfavorite。

TherewasaMeredithcultasdistinctasthatofBrowning。Possiblyitexiststo—day，but，ifso，itislessmilitant。Mrs。ClemensandherassociateswerecaughtintheMeredithmovementandreadDianaoftheCrosswaysandtheEgoistwithreverentialappreciation。

TheMeredithepidemicdidnottouchMarkTwain。Hereadbutfewnovelsatmost，and，skilfulaswastheartistryoftheEnglishfavorite，hefoundhischaractersartificialities——ingeniouslycontrivedpuppetsratherthanhumanbeings，and，onthewhole，overratedbytheircreator。

DianaoftheCrosswayswasreadaloud，and，listeningnowandthen，hewaslikelytosay：

"Itdoesn’tseemtomethatDianalivesuptoherreputation。Theauthorkeepstellingushowsmartsheis，howbrilliant，butIneverseemtohearhersayanythingsmartorbrilliant。ReadmesomeofDiana’ssmartutterances。"

Hewasrelentlessenoughinhiscriticismofaliteraturehedidnotcarefor，andheneverlearnedtocareforMeredith。

Hereadhisfavoritebooksoverandoverwithaneverchangingpointofview。Here—readCarlyle’sFrenchRevolutionduringthesummeratthefarm，andtoHowellshewrote：

Howstunningarethechangeswhichagemakesinmanwhilehesleeps！

WhenIfinishedCarlyle’sFrenchRevolutionin1871IwasaGirondin；everytimeIhavereaditsinceIhavereaditdifferently——beinginfluenced&changed，littlebylittle，bylife&

environment(&Taine&St。Simon)；&nowIlaythebookdownoncemore，&recognizethatIamaSansculotte！——Andnotapale，characterlessSansculotte，butaMarat。Carlyleteachesnosuchgospel，sothechangeisinme——inmyvisionoftheevidences。

PeoplepretendthattheBiblemeansthesametothemat50thatitdidatallformermilestonesintheirjourney。Iwonderhowtheycanlieso。Itcomesofpractice，nodoubt。TheywouldnotsaythatofDickens’sorScott’sbooks。Nothingremainsthesame。Whenamangoesbacktolookatthehouseofhischildhoodithasalwaysshrunk；thereisnoinstanceofsuchhousebeingasbigasthepictureinmemory&imaginationcallfor。Shrunkhow？Why，toitscorrectdimensions；thehousehasn’taltered；thisisthefirsttimeithasbeeninfocus。

Well，that’sloss。Tohavehouse&Bibleshrinkso，underthedisillusioningcorrectedangle，isloss——foramoment。Buttherearecompensations。Youtiltthetubeskyward&bringplanets&

comets&coronaflamesahundred&fiftythousandmileshighintothefield。WhichIseeyouhavedone，&foundTolstoi。Ihaven’tgothiminfocusyet，butI’vegotBrowning。

IntimetheBrowningpassionwouldwaneandpass，andtheclubwassucceededby，orperhapsitblendedwith，aGermanclasswhichmetatregularintervalsattheClemenshometostudy"der，die，anddas"andthe"gehabthabens"outofMeisterschaftandsuchothertext—booksasProfessorSchleuttercouldprovide。Theyhadmonthlyconversationdays，whentheydiscussedinGermanallsortsofthings，realandimaginary。

OnceDr。Root，aprominentmember，andClemenshadalongwrangleoverpaintingahouse，inwhichtheyimpersonatedtwoGermanneighbors。

Clemensfinallywrotefortheclassathree—actplay"Meisterschaft"——aliteraryachievementforwhichhewasespeciallyqualified，withitspicturesquemixtureofGermanandEnglishanditsunfailinghumor。Itseemsunlikeanythingeverattemptedbeforeorsince。NoonebutMarkTwaincouldhavewrittenit。Itwasgiventwicebytheclasswithenormoussuccess，andinmodifiedformitwaspublishedintheCenturyMagazine(January，1888)。Itisincludedto—dayinhis"CompleteWorks，"

butonemusthaveafairknowledgeofGermantocapturethefulldelightofit。——[OntheoriginalmanuscriptMarkTwainwrote："ThereissometolerablyrancidGermanhereandthereinthispiece。Itisattributabletotheproof—reader。"Perhapstheproof—readerresentedthisandcutitout，foritdoesnotappearaspublished。]

MarkTwainprobablyexaggeratedhissentimentsagooddealwhenintheCarlyleletterheclaimedtobethemostrabidofSansculottes。Itisunlikelythathewaseververybare—kneedandcrimsoninhisanarchy。Hebelievedalwaysthatcrueltyshouldbeswiftlypunished，whetherinkingorcommoner，andthattyrantsshouldbedestroyed。Hewasforthepeopleasagainstkings，andfortheunionoflaborasopposedtotheunionofcapital，thoughhewroteofsuchmattersjudicially——notradically。TheKnightsofLabororganization，thenverypowerful，seemedtoClemensthesalvationofoppressedhumanity。Hewroteavehementandconvincingpaperonthesubject，whichhesenttoHowells，towhomitappealedverystrongly，forHowellswassocialistic，inasense，andClemensmadehisappealinthebestandlargestsense，dramatizinghisconceptioninapicturethatwastoinclude，inonegrandleague，laborofwhateverform，and，intheend，allmankindinafinalmillennium。Howellswrotethathehadreadtheessay"withthrillsamountingtoyellsofsatisfaction，anddeclaredittobethebestthingyetsaidonthesubject。Theessayclosed：

He[theunionizedworkman]ishereandhewillremain。Heisthegreatestbirthofthegreatestagethenationsoftheworldhaveknown。Youcannotsneerathim——thattimehasgoneby。Hehasbeforehimthemostrighteousworkthatwasevergivenintothehandofmantodo；andhewilldoit。Yes，heishere；andthequestionisnot——asithasbeenheretoforeduringathousandages——Whatshallwedowithhim？Forthefirsttimeinhistorywearerelievedofthenecessityofmanaginghisaffairsforhim。Heisnotabrokendamthistime——heistheFlood！

ItmusthavebeenaboutthistimethatClemensdevelopedanintense，evenifalesspermanent，interestinanothermatterwhichwastobenefitthespecies。HewasonedaywalkingupFifthAvenuewhenhenoticedthesignPROFESSORLOISETTE

SCHOOLOFMEMORY

TheInstantaneousArtofNeverForgettingClemenswentinside。WhenhecameouthehadallofProfessorLoisette’sliteratureon"predicatingcorrelation，"andforthenextseveraldayswassteepinghimselfinaninfusionofmeaninglesswordsandfiguresandsentencesandforms，whichhemustlearnbackwardandforwardanddiagonally，sothathecouldrepeatthemawakeandasleepinordertopredicatehiscorrelationtoapointwhererememberingtheordinaryfactsoflife，suchasnames，addresses，andtelephonenumbers，wouldbeamerediversion。

ItwasanothercaseoflearningthemultitudinousdetailsoftheMississippiRiverinordertodotheapparentlysimplethingofsteeringaboatfromNewOrleanstoSt。Louis，anditisfairtosaythat，forthetimehegaveit，heachievedalikesuccess。HewassoenthusiasticoverthisnewremedyforhumandistressthatwithinaverybrieftimehewassendingoutaprintedletterrecommendingLoisettetothepublicatlarge。Hereisanextract：……IhadnoSYSTEM——andsomesortofrationalorderofprocedureis，ofcourse，necessarytosuccessinanystudy。Well，Loisettefurnishedmeasystem。Icannotundertaketosayitisthebest，ortheworst，becauseIdon’tknowwhattheothersystemsare。

Loisette，amongothercruelties，requiresyoutomemorizeagreatlongstringofwordsthat，haven’tanyapparentconnectionormeaning——thereareperhaps500ofthesewords，arrangedinmaniacallinesof6to8or9wordsineachline——71linesinall。Ofcourseyourfirstimpulseistoresign，butattheendofthreeorfourhoursyoufindtoyoursurprisethatyou’veGOTthemandcandeliverthembackwardorforwardwithoutmistakeorhesitation。Now，don’tyouseewhataworldofconfidencethatmustnecessarilybreed？——

confidenceinamemorywhichbeforeyouwouldn’tevenventuretotrustwiththeLatinmottooftheU。S。lestitmislayitandthecountrysuffer。

Loisettedoesn’tmakememories，hefurnishesconfidenceinmemoriesthatalreadyexist。Isn’tthatvaluable？Indeeditistome。

WheneverhereafterIshallchoosetopackawayathingproperlyinthatrefrigeratorIsha’n’tbebotheredwiththeaforetimedoubts；I

shallknowI’mgoingtofinditsoundandsweetwhenIgoforitagain。

LoisettenaturallymadethemostofthisadvertisingandfloodedthepublicwithMarkTwaintestimonials。ButpresentlyClemensdecidedthatafterallthesystemwasnotsufficientlysimpletobenefittheraceatlarge。HerecalledhisprintedlettersandprevaileduponLoisettetosuppresshiscirculars。Laterhedecidedthatthewholesystemwasahumbug。

CLXIII

LETTERTOTHEQUEENOFENGLAND

Itwasonedayin1887thatClemensreceivedevidencethathisreputationasasuccessfulauthorandpublisher——amanofwealthandrevenues——hadpenetratedeventhedimnessoftheBritishTaxOffices。Aformidableenvelopecame，inclosingaletterfromhisLondonpublishersandaverylargeprinteddocumentallabouttheincometaxwhichtheQueen’sofficershadlevieduponhisEnglishroyaltiesastheresultofareportthathehadtakenBuckenhamHall，Norwich，forayear，andwastobecomeanEnglishresident。Thematteramusedandinterestedhim。ToChatto&

Windushewrote：

IwillexplainthatallthataboutBuckenhamHallwasanEnglishnewspaper’smistake。IwasnotinEngland，andifIhadbeenI

wouldn’thavebeenatBuckenhamHallanyway，butBuckinghamPalace，orIwouldhaveendeavoredtohavefoundoutthereasonwhy……

Butwewon’tresist。We’llpayasifIwerereallyaresident。Thecountrythatallowsmecopyrighthasarighttotaxme。

Reflectingonthematter，Clemensdecidedtomakeliteratureofit。HeconceivedthenotionofwritinganopenlettertotheQueeninthecharacterofarambling，garrulous，butwell—disposedcountrymanwhoseideawasthatherMajestyconductedallthebusinessoftheempireherself。Hebegan：

HARTFORD，November6，2887。

MADAM，YouwillrememberthatlastMayMr。EdwardBright，theclerkoftheInlandRevenueOffice，wrotemeaboutataxwhichhesaidwasduefrommetotheGovernmentonbooksofminepublishedinLondon——

thatistosay，anincometaxontheroyalties。IdonotknowMr。

Bright，anditisembarrassingtometocorrespondwithstrangers，forIwasraisedinthecountryandhavealwayslivedthere，theearlypartinMarionCounty，Missouri，beforethewar，andthispartinHartfordCounty，Connecticut，nearBloomfieldandabout8milesthissideofFarmington，thoughsomecallit9，whichitisimpossibletobe，forIhavewalkeditmanyandmanyatimeinconsiderablyunderthreehours，andGeneralHawleysayshehasdoneitintwoandaquarter，whichisnotlikely；soithasseemedbestthatIwriteyourMajesty。

TheletterproceededtoexplainthathehadnevermetherMajestypersonally，butthatheoncemetherson，thePrinceofWales，inOxfordStreet，attheheadofaprocession，whilehehimselfwasonthetopofanomnibus。HethoughtthePrincewouldprobablyrememberhimonaccountofagraycoatwithflappocketswhichhewore，hebeingtheonlypersonontheomnibuswhohadonthatkindofacoat。

"Irememberhim，"hesaid，"aseasilyasIwouldacomet。"

Heexplainedthedifficultyhehadinunderstandingunderwhatheadinghewastaxed。Therewasafoot—noteonthelistwhichstatedthathewastaxedunder"ScheduleD，section14。"Hehadturnedtothatplaceandfoundthesethreethings："Trades，Offices，GasWorks。"Hedidnotregardauthorshipasatrade，andhehadnooffice，sohedidnotconsiderthathewastaxableunder"ScheduleD，section14。"Theletterconcludes：

HavingthusshownyourMajestythatIamnottaxable，butamthevictimoftheerrorofaclerkwhomistakesthenatureofmycommerce，itonlyremainsformetobegthatyouwill，ofyourjustice，annulmyletterthatIspokeof，sothatmypublishercankeepbackthattaxmoneywhich，intheconfusionandaberrationcausedbytheDocument，Iorderedhimtopay。Youwillnotmissthesum，butthisisahardyearforauthors，andasforlecturesIdonotsupposeyourMajestyeversawsuchadullseason。

Withalwaysgreatandever—increasingrespect，IbegtosignmyselfyourMajesty’sservanttocommand，MARKTWAIN。

HerMajestytheQueen，London。

Theletter，or"petition，"asitwascalled，waspublishedintheHarper’sMagazine"Drawer"(December，r88q)，andisnowincludedinthe"CompleteWorks。"TakenasawholeitisoneofthemostexquisiteofMarkTwain’sminorhumors。Whatotherhumoristcouldhaverefrainedfromhinting，atleast，theinferencesuggestedbytheobvious"GasWorks"？

Yetitwasasubtlerarttolethisold，simple—mindedcountrymanignorethatdetail。ThelittleskitwaswidelycopiedandreachedtheQueenherselfinduetime，andherson，PrinceEdward，whoneverforgotitshumor。

ClemensreadanotablepaperthatyearbeforetheMondayEveningClub。

Itssubjectwas"Consistency"——politicalconsistency——andinithetookoccasiontoexpresshimselfprettyvigorouslyregardingthevirtueofloyaltytopartybeforeprinciple，asexemplifiedintheBlaine—Clevelandcampaign。Itwasineffectascathingreplytothosewho，threeyears，before，haddenouncedTwichellandhimselfforstandingbytheirconvictions。——[CharacteristicparagraphsfromthispaperwillbefoundunderAppendixR，attheendoflastvolume。]

CLXIV

SOMEFURTHERACCOUNTOFCHARLESL。WEBSTER&CO。

Flood—tideisatemporarycondition，andtheebbinthebusinessofCharlesL。Webster&Co。，thoughverydeliberate，wasnotdelayedinitsbeginning。Mostofthebookspublished——theearlyonesatleast—wereprofitable。McClellan’smemoirspaid，asdidothersofthewarseries。

EvenTheLifeofPopeLeoXIII。paid。Whatastatementtomake，afteralltheirmagnificentdreamsandpreparations！Itwaspublishedsimultaneouslyinsixlanguages。Itwasexploitedineveryconceivablefashion，anditsaggregatesalesfellfarshortofthenumberwhichthegeneralagentshadpromisedfortheirfirstorders。Itwasamazing，itwasincredible，but，alas！itwastrue。TheprospectiveCatholicpurchaserhaddecidedthatthePope’sLifewasnotnecessarytohissalvationoreventohisentertainment。Howellsexplainsit，tohisownsatisfactionatleast，whenhesays：

WedidnotconsiderhowoftenCatholicscouldnotread，howoften，whentheycould，theymightnotwishtoread。Theeventprovedthat，whethertheycouldreadornot，theimmeasurablemajoritydidnotwishtoreadTheLifeofthePope，thoughitwaswrittenbyadignitaryoftheChurchandissuedtotheworldwithsanctionfromtheVatican。

Howells，ofcourse，isreferringtothelaboringCatholicofthatday。

TherearenoCatholicsofthisday——noAmericanCatholics，atleast——whodonotread，andmoneyamongthemhasbecomeplentiful。PerhapshadthePope’sLifebeenissuedinthisnewhourofenlightenmentthetaleofitssuccessmighthavebeenlesssadlytold。

Avarietyofbooksfollowed。HenryWardBeecheragreedtowriteanautobiography，buthediedjustwhenhewasbeginningthework，andthebiography，whichhisfamilyputtogether，broughtonlyamoderatereturn。

AbookofSandwichIslandstalesandlegends，byhisHawaiianMajestyKingKalakaua，editedbyClemens’soldfriend，RollinM。Daggett，whohadbecomeUnitedStatesministertotheislands，barelypaidforthecostofmanufacture，whileavolumeofreminiscencesbyGeneralHancockwasstilllessfortunate。Therunningexpensesofthebusinesswereheavy。OnthestrengthoftheGrantsuccessWebsterhadmovedintostilllargerquartersatNo。3EastFifteenthStreet，andhadagroundfloorforasalesroom。Theforcehadbecomenumerousandcostly。Itwasnecessarythatabookshouldpaylargelytomaintainthispretentiousestablishment。Anumberofbookswerepublishedataheavyloss。Nevermindtheirtitles；wemayforgetthem，withthenameofthebookkeeperwhopresentlyembezzledthirtythousanddollarsofthefirm’smoneyandreturnedbutatriflingsum。

Bytheendof1887therewerethreeworksinprospectonwhichgreathopeswerefounded——’TheLibraryofHumor’，whichHowellsandClarkhadedited；apersonalmemoirofGeneralSheridan’s，andaLibraryofAmericanLiteratureintenvolumes，compiledbyEdmundClarenceStedmanandEllenMackayHutchinson。Itwasbelievedthesewouldrestorethefortunesandtheprestigeofthefirm。Theywereallexcellent，attractivefeatures。TheLibraryofHumorwasablyselectedandcontainedtwohundredchoicedrawingsbyKemble。TheSheridanMemoirwasfinelywritten，andthepublicinterestinitwasboundtobegeneral。

TheLibraryofAmericanLiteraturewasacollectionofthebestAmericanwriting，andseemedboundtoappealtoeveryAmericanreading—home。Itwasnecessarytoborrowmostofthemoneyrequiredtobuildthesebooks，fortheprofitmadefromtheGrantLifeandlessfortunateventureswasprettywellexhausted。Clemenspresentlyfoundalittledriftofhisnotesaccumulatingatthisbankandthat——adisturbingcondition，whenherememberedit，forhewasfinancingthetypesettingmachinebythistime，anditwascostingaprettysum。

Meantime，Websterwasnolongeractiveinthemanagement。Intwoyearshehadbrokendownfromoverwork，andwasnowdesperatelyillwithanacuteneuralgiathatkepthimawayfromthebusinessmostofthetime。

Itsburdenshadfallenuponhisassistant，FredJ。Hall，awilling，capableyoungman，perseveringandhopeful，lackingonlyyearsandexperience。Hallworkedlikeabeaver，andcontinuallylookedforwardtosuccess。Heexplained，witheachmonth’sreportofaffairs，justwhythebusinesshadnotprosperedmoreduringthatparticularmonth，andjustwhyitsprofitswouldbegreaterduringthenext。Websterfinallyretiredfromthebusinessaltogether，andHallwasgivenasmallpartnershipinthefirm。Hereducedexpenses，workeddesperately，pumpingoutthedebts，andmanagedtokeepthecraftafloat。

TheLibraryofHumor，theLifeofSheridan，andTheLibraryofAmericanLiteratureallsoldverywell；notsowellashadbeenhoped，butthesalesyieldedafairprofit。ItwasthoughtthatifClemenshimselfwouldfurnishanewbooknowandthenthebusinessmightregainsomethingofitsoriginalstanding。

WemaybelievethatClemenshadnotbeenalwayspatient，notalwaysgentle，duringthisprocessofdecline。HehaddifferedwithWebster，andoccasionallyhadgonedownandreconstructedthingsafterhisownnotions。OncehewrotetoOrionthathehadsuddenlyawakenedtofindthattherewasnomoresystemintheofficethaninanurserywithoutanurse。

"But，"headded，"Ihavespentagooddealoftimetheresince，andreducedeverythingtoexactorderandsystem。"

Justwhatwerethenewfeaturesoforderinstituteditwouldbeinterestingtoknow。ThatthefinancialpressurewasbeginningtobefeltevenintheClemenshomeisshownbyaChristmaslettertoMrs。

Moffett。

HARTFORD，December18，1887。

DEARPAMELA，——Willyoutakethis$15&buysomecandyorothertrifleforyourself&Sam&hiswifetoremindyouthatwerememberyou？

Ifweweren’talittlecrowdedthisyearbythetype—setterI’dsendachecklargeenoughtobuyafamilyBibleorsomeotherusefulthinglikethat。However，wegoon&on，butthetype—settergoesonforever——at$3，000amonth；whichismuchmoresatisfactorythanwasthecasethefirst17months，whenthebillonlyaveraged$2，000，&promisedtotakeathousandyears。We’llbethroughnowin3or4months，Ireckon，&thenthestrainwillletupandwecanbreathefreelyoncemore，whethersuccessensuesorfailure。

Evenwithatype—setteronhandweoughtnottobeintheleastscrimped—

butitwouldtakealonglettertoexplainwhy&whoistoblame。

Allthefamilysendlovetoallofyou，&bestChristmaswishesforyourprosperity。

Affectionately，SAM。

CLXV

LETTERS，VISITS，ANDVISITORS

Thereweremanypleasanterthings，tobesure。Thefarmlifeneverfailedwitheachreturningsummer；thewintersbroughtgaycompanyandfairoccasions。SirHenryandLadyStanley，visiting。America，wereentertainedintheClemenshome，andClemenswentontoBostontointroduceStanleytohislectureaudience。CharlesDickens’sson，withhiswifeanddaughter，followedalittlelater。Anincidentoftheirvisitseemsratheramusingnow。ThereisacustominEnglandwhichrequiresthehosttogivetheguestnoticeofbedtimebyhandinghimalightedcandle。Mrs。Clemensknewofthiscustom，butdidnothavethecouragetofollowitinherownhome，andtheguestsknewofnootherwaytorelievethesituation；asaresult，allsatupmuchlaterthanusual。

EventuallyClemenshimselfsuggestedthatpossiblytheguestswouldliketoretire。

RobertLouisStevensoncamedownfromSaranac，andClemenswentintovisithimathisNewYorkhotel，theSt。Stevens，onEastEleventhStreet。Stevensonhadorderstositinthesunshineasmuchaspossible，andduringthefewdaysoftheirassociationheandClemenswouldwalkdowntoWashingtonSquareandsitononeofthebenchesandtalk。Theydiscussedmanythings——philosophies，people，books；itseemsapitytheirtalkcouldnothavebeenpreserved。

StevensonwasagreatadmirerofMarkTwain’swork。HesaidthatduringarecentpaintingofhisportraithehadinsistedonreadingHuckFinnaloudtotheartist，aFrenchman，whohadatfirstprotested，andfinallyhadfallenacompletevictimtoHuck’syarn。InoneofStevenson’sletterstoClemenshewrote：

Myfather，anoldman，hasbeenprevailedupontoreadRoughingIt(hisusualamusementbeingfoundintheology)，andafteroneeveningspentwiththebookhedeclared："Iamfrightened。Itcannotbesafeforamanatmytimeoflifetolaughsomuch。"

Whatheapsofletters，bytheway，remainfromthistime，andhowcurioussomeofthemare！Manyofthemarerequestsofonesortoranother，chieflyformoney——onewomanaskingforasingleday’sincome，conservativelyestimatedatfivethousanddollars。Clemensseldomansweredanunwarrantedletter；butatonetimehebeganaseriesofunmailedanswers——thatistosay，answersinwhichhehadlethimselfgomerelytorelievehisfeelingsandtorestorehisspiritualbalance。Hepreparedanintroductionforthisseries。Inithesaid：……Youreceivealetter。Youreadit。Itwillbetolerablysuretoproduceoneofthreeresults：1，pleasure；2，displeasure；

3，indifference。IdonotneedtosayanythingaboutNos。1&3；

everybodyknowswhattodowiththosebreedsofletters；itisbreedNo。2thatIamafter。Itistheonethatisloadedupwithtrouble。

Whenyougetanexasperatingletterwhathappens？Ifyouareyoungyouansweritpromptly，instantly——andmailthethingyouhavewritten。Atfortywhatdoyoudo？Bythattimeyouhavefoundoutthataletterwritteninapassionisamistakeinninety—ninecasesoutofahundred；thatitusuallywrongstwopersons，andalwayswrongsone——yourself。Youhavegrownwearyofwrongingyourselfandrepenting；soyoumanacle，youfetter，youlog—chainthefranticimpulsetowriteapulverizinganswer。Youwillwaitadayordie。

Butinthemeantimewhatdoyoudo？Why，ifitisaboutdinner—

time，yousitattableinadeepabstractionallthroughthemeal；

youtrytothrowitoffandhelpdothetalking；yougetastartthreeorfourtimes，butconversationdiesonyourlipseverytime—

yourmindisn’tonit；yourheartisn’tinit。Yougiveup，andsubsideintoabottomlessdeepofsilence，permanently；peoplemustspeaktoyoutwoorthreetimestogetyourattention，andthensayitoveragaintomakeyouunderstand。Thiskindofthinggoesonalltherestoftheevening；nobodycaninterestyouinanything；

youareuseless，adepressinginfluence，aburden。Yougotobedatlast；butatthreeinthemorningyouareaswideawakeasyouwereinthebeginning。Thusweseewhatyouhavebeendoingforninehours——ontheoutside。Butwhatwereyoudoingontheinside？Youwerewritingletters——inyourmind。Andenjoyingit，thatisquitetrue；thatisnottobedenied。Youhavebeenflayingyourcorrespondentalivewithyourincorporealpen；youhavebeenbraininghim，disembowelinghim，carvinghimintolittlebits，andthen——doingitalloveragain。Forninehours。

Itwaswastedtime，foryouhadnointentionofputtinganyofthisinsanityonpaperandmailingit。Yes，youknowthat，andconfessit——butwhatwereyoutodo？Wherewasyourremedy？Willanybodycontendthatamancansaytosuchmasterfulangerasthat，Go，andbeobeyed？

No，hecannot；thatiscertainlytrue。Well，then，whatishetodo？Iwillexplainbythesuggestioncontainedinmyopeningparagraph。Duringtheninehourshehaswrittenasmanyasforty—

sevenfuriousletters——inhismind。Ifhehadputjustoneofthemonpaperitwouldhavebroughthimrelief，savedhimeighthoursoftrouble，andgivenhimanhour’sred—hotpleasurebesides。

Heisnottomailthisletter；heunderstandsthat，andsohecanturnonthewholevolumeofhiswrath；thereisnoharm。Heisonlywritingittogetthebileout。Sotospeak，heisavolcano：

imaginghimselferuptingdoesnogood；hemustopenuphiscraterandpouroutinrealityhisintolerablechargeoflavaifhewouldgetrelief。

Beforehehasfilledhisfirstsheetsometimesthereliefisthere。

Hedegeneratesintogood—naturefromthatpoint。

Sometimestheloadissohotandsogreatthatonewritesasmanyasthreelettersbeforehegetsdowntoamailableone；averyangryone，alessangryone，andanargumentativeonewithhotembersinithereandthere。Hepigeonholestheseandthendoesoneoftwothings——dismissesthewholematterfromhismindorwritesthepropersortofletterandmailsit。

TothisdayIlosemybalanceandsendanoverwarmletter——ormorefrequentlytelegram——twoorthreetimesayear。Butthatisbetterthandoingitahundredtimesayear，asIusedtodoyearsago。

PerhapsIwriteaboutasmanyasever，butIpigeonholethem。Theyoughtnottobethrownaway。Suchaletterayearorsooldisasgoodasasermontothemawwhowroteit。Itmakeshimfeelsmallandshabby，but——well，thatwearsoff。Anysermondoes；butthesermondoessomelittlegood，anyway。Anoldcoldletterlikethatmakesyouwonderhowyoucouldeverhavegotintosucharageaboutnothing。

Theunmailedanswersthatweretoaccompanythisintroductionwereplentifulenoughandgenerallyofaferventsort。Onespecimenwillsuffice。Itwaswrittentothechairmanofahospitalcommittee。

DEARSIR，——IfIwereSmithfieldIwouldcertainlygooutandgetbehindsomethingandblush。Accordingtoyourreport，"thepoliticiansareafraidtotaxthepeopleforthesupport"ofsohumaneandnecessaryathingasahospital。Anddoyour"people"

proposetostandthat？——atthehandsofverminofficialswhomthebreathoftheirvotescouldblowoutofofficialexistenceinamomentiftheyhadtheplucktobandthemselvestogetherandblow。

Oh，come，thesearenot"people"——theyarecowedschool—boyswithbackbonesmadeofboiledmacaroni。Ifyouarenotmisreportingthose"people"youarejustintherightbusinesspassingthemendicanthatforthem。Dearsir，communitieswhereanythinglikecitizenshipexistsareaccustomedtohidetheirshames，butherewehaveoneproposingtogetupagreat"exposition"ofitsdishonorandadvertiseitallitcan。

IthasbeenelevenyearssinceIwroteanythingforoneofthosegraveyardscalleda"Fairpaper，"andsoIhavedoubtlesslosttheknackofitsomewhat；stillIhavedonethebestIcouldforyou。

Thiswasfromaburningheartandwelldeserved。Onemayalmostregretthathedidnotsendit。

OncehereceivedaletterintendedforoneSamuelClements，ofElma，NewYork，announcingthatthesaidClements’spensionhadbeenallowed。Butthiswasamusing。WhenClemenshadforwardedthenoticetoitsproperdestinationhecouldnotresistsendingthiscommenttothecommissioneratWashington：

DEARSIR，——Ihavenotappliedforapension。Ihaveoftenwantedapension——often——eversooften——Imaysay，butinasmuchastheonlymilitaryserviceIperformedduringthewarwasintheConfederatearmy，Ihavealwaysfeltadelicacyaboutaskingyouforit。

However，sinceyouhavesuggestedthethingyourself，Ifeelstrengthened。Ihaven’tanyverypensionablediseasesmyself，butI

canfurnishasubstitute——amanwhoisjustsimplyachaos，amuseumofallthedifferentkindsofachesandpains，fractures，dislocationsandmalformationsthereare；amanwhowouldregard"rheumatismandsoreeyes"asmererecreationandrefreshmentaftertheseriousoccupationsofhisday。Ifyougrantmethepension，dearsir，pleasehandittoGeneralJos。Hawley，UnitedStatesSenator——Imeanhandhimthecertificate，notthemoney，andhewillforwardittome。Youwillobservebythispostal—cardwhichI

inclosethathetakesafriendlyinterestinthematter。HethinksI’vealreadygotthepension，whereasI’veonlygottherheumatism；

butdidn’twantthat——Ihadthatbefore。Iwishitwerecatching。I

knowamanthatIwouldloadupwithitprettyearly。Lord，butweallfeelthatwaysometimes。I’veseenthedaywhenbutnevermindthat；youmaybebusy；justhandittoHawley——thecertificate，youunderstand，isnottransferable。

ClemenswasingoodstandingatWashingtonduringtheClevelandadministration，andmanyletterscame，askinghimtousehisinfluencewiththePresidenttoobtainthisorthatfavor。Healwaysdeclined，thoughonce——afewyearslater，inEurope——whenhelearnedthatFrankMason，consul—generalatFrankfort，wasabouttobedisplaced，Clemens，ofhisownaccord，wrotetoBabyRuthClevelandaboutit。

MYDEARRUTH，IbelongtotheMugwumps，andoneofthemostsacredrulesofourorderpreventsusfromaskingfavorsofofficialsorrecommendingmentooffice，butthereisnoharminwritingafriendlylettertoyouandtellingyouthataninfernaloutrageisabouttobecommittedbyyourfatherinturningoutofofficethebestConsulIknow(andIknowagreatmany)justbecauseheisaRepublicanandaDemocratwantshisplace。

HewentontorecallMason’shighandhonorablerecord，suggestingthatMissRuthtakethematterintoherownhands。Thenhesaid：

Ican’tsendanymessagetothePresident，butthenexttimeyouhaveatalkwithhimconcerningsuchmattersIwishyouwouldtellhimaboutCaptainMasonandwhatIthinkofaGovernmentthatsotreatsitsefficientofficials。

Justwhatformofappealthesmallagentmadeisnotrecorded，butbyandbyMarkTwainreceivedatinyenvelope，postmarkedWashington，inclosingthisnoteinPresidentCleveland’shandwriting：

MissRuthClevelandbegstoacknowledgethereceiptofMr。Twain’sletterandsaythatshetookthelibertyofreadingittothePresident，whodesireshertothankMr。Twainforherinformation，andtosaytohimthatCaptainMasonwillnotbedisturbedintheFrankfortConsulate。ThePresidentalsodesiresMissClevelandtosaythatifMr。Twainknowsofanyothercasesofthiskindhewillbegreatlyobligedifhewillwritehimconcerningthemathisearliestconvenience。

ClemensimmenselyadmiredGroverCleveland，alsohisyoungwife，andhisvisitstoWashingtonwerenotinfrequent。Mrs。Clemenswasnotalwaysabletoaccompanyhim，andhehastoldushowonce(itwashisfirstvisitafterthePresident’smarriage)sheputalittlenoteinthepocketofhiseveningwaistcoat，whichhewouldbesuretofindwhendressing，warninghimabouthisdeportment。BeingpresentedtoMrs。Cleveland，hehandedheracardonwhichhehadwritten"Hedidn’t，"andaskedhertosignhernamebelowthosewords。Mrs。Clevelandprotestedthatshecouldn’tsignitunlesssheknewwhatitwashehadn’tdone；butheinsisted，andshepromisedtosignifhewouldtellherimmediatelyafterwardallaboutit。Shesigned，andhehandedherMrs。Clemens’snote，whichwasverybrief。Itsaid：

"Don’twearyourarcticsintheWhiteHouse。"

Mrs。ClevelandsummonedamessengerandhadthecardshehadsignedmailedatoncetoMrs。ClemensatHartford。

Hewasnotalwayssowellprovidedagainstdisaster。Once，withoutconsultinghisengagements，heagreedtoassistMrs。Clevelandatadedication，onlytofindthathemustwriteanapologylater。Inhisletterhesaid：

IdonotknowhowitisintheWhiteHouse，butinthishouseofourswhenevertheminorhalfoftheadministrationtriestorunitselfwithoutthehelpofthemajorhalfitgetsaground。

Heexplainedhisposition，andadded：

IsupposethePresidentoftenactsjustlikethat；goesandmakesanimpossiblepromise，andyouneverfinditoutuntilitisnexttoimpossibletobreakitupandsetthingsstraightagain。Well，thatisjustourwayexactly——one—halftheadministrationalwaysbusygettingthefamilyintotroubleandtheotherhalfbusygettingitout。

CLVXI

A"PLAYER"ANDAMASTEROFARTS

OnemorningearlyinJanuaryClemensreceivedthefollowingnote：

DALY’STHEATER，NEWYORK，January2，1888。

Mr。AugustinDalywillbeverymuchpleasedtohaveMr。S。L。

ClemensmeetMr。Booth，Mr。Barrett，andMr。PalmerandafewfriendsatlunchonFridaynext，January6th(atoneo’clockinDelmonico’s)，todiscusstheformationofanewclubwhichitisthoughtwillclaimyour(sic)interest。

R。S。V。P。

TherewerealreadyinNewYorkavarietyofliteraryandartisticsocieties，suchasTheKinsmenandTileclubs，withwhichClemenswasmoreorlessassociated。Itwasproposednowtoformamorecomprehensiveandpretentiousorganization——onethatwouldincludethevariousassociatedarts。Theconceptionofthisnewclub，whichwastobecalledThePlayers，hadgrownoutofadesireonthepartofEdwinBoothtoconfersomeenduringbenefituponthemembersofhisprofession。

IthadbeendiscussedduringasummercruiseonMr。E。C。Benedict’ssteam—yachtbyalittlepartywhich，besidestheowner，consistedofBoothhimself，Aldrich，LawrenceBarrett，WilliamBispham，andLaurenceHutton。Booth’soriginalideahadbeentoendowsomesortofanactors’

home，butafterdueconsiderationthisdidnotappeartobethebestplan。Someoneproposedaclub，andAldrich，withnever—failinginspiration，suggesteditsname，ThePlayers，whichimmediatelyimpressedBoothandtheothers。Itwasthendecidedthatmembersofallthekindredartsshouldbeadmitted，andthiswastheplandiscussedandperfectedattheDalyluncheon。Theguestsbecamechartermembers，andThePlayersbecameanincorporatedfactearlyinJanuary，1888。

——[BesidesMr。Boothhimself，thechartermemberswere：LawrenceBarrett，WilliamBispham，SamuelL。Clemens，AugustinDaly，JosephF。Daly，JohnDrew，HenryEdwards，LaurenceHutton，JosephJefferson，JohnA。Lane，JamesLewis，BranderMatthews，StephenH。Olin，A。M。Palmer，andWilliamT。Sherman。]——Boothpurchasedthefineoldbrownstoneresidenceat16

GramercyPark，andhadexpensivealterationsmadeunderthedirectionsofStanfordWhitetoadaptitforclubpurposes。Heboretheentirecost，furnisheditfromgarrettocellar，gaveithisbooksandpictures，hisrarecollectionsofeverysort。LaurenceHutton，writingofitafterward，said：

AndonthefirstFounder’sNight，the31stofDecember，1888，hetransferreditalltotheassociation，amunificentgift；absolutelywithoutparallelinitsway。ThepleasureitgavetoBoothduringthefewremainingyearsofhislifewasverygreat。Hemadeithishome。

Nexttohisownimmediatefamilyitwashischiefinterest，care，andconsolation。Henursedandpettedit，asitnursedandpettedandhonoredhim。Hediedinit。Anditiscertainlyhisgreatestmonument。

ThereisnootherclubquitelikeThePlayers。ThepersonalityofEdwinBoothpervadesit，andthereisaspiritinitsatmospherenotfoundinotherlargeclubs——aspiritofunity，andancientfriendship，andmellownesswhichusuallycomeonlyofsmallmembershipandlongestablishment。MarkTwainwasalwaysfondofThePlayers，andmorethanoncemadeithishome。Itisatruehome，anditsmembersareagenuinebrotherhood。

ItwasinJune，1888，thatYaleCollegeconferreduponSamuelClemensthedegreeofMasterofArts。Itwashisfirsthonorofthiskind，andhewasproudofit。ToCharlesHopkins("Charley")Clark，whohadbeenappointedtoapprisehimofthehonor，hewrote：

Ifeltmightyproudofthatdegree；infactIcouldsqueezethetruthalittlecloserandsayvainofit。Andwhyshouldn’tIbe？

IamtheonlyliteraryanimalofmyparticularsubspecieswhohaseverbeengivenadegreebyanycollegeinanyageoftheworldasfarasIknow。

TowhichClarkanswered：

MYDEARFRIEND，Youare"theonlyliteraryanimalofyourparticularsubspecies"inexistence，andyou’venocauseforhumilityinthefact。Yalehasdoneherselfatleastasmuchcreditasshehasdoneyou，and"don’tyouforgetit。"

C。H。C。

Clemenscouldnotattendthealumnidinner，beingatElmiraandunabletogetaway，butinanaddresshemadeatYaleCollegelaterintheyearhethusfreelyexpressedhimself：

IwassincerelyproudandgratefultobemadeaMasterofArtsbythisgreatandvenerableUniversity，andIwouldhavecomelastJunetotestifythisfeeling，asIdonowtestifyit，butthatthesuddenandunexpectednoticeofthehonordonemefoundmeatadistancefromhomeandunabletodischargethatdutyandenjoythatprivilege。

Alongatfirst，sayforthefirstmonthorso，I，didnotquiteknowhovetoproceedbecauseofmynotknowingjustwhatauthoritiesandprivilegesbelongedtothetitlewhichhadbeengrantedme，butafterthatIconsultedsomestudentsofTrinity——inHartford——andtheymadeeverythingcleartome。ItwasthroughthemthatIfoundoutthatmytitlemademeheadoftheGoverningBodyoftheUniversity，andlodgedinmeverybroadandseverelyresponsiblepowers。

Iwastoldthatitwouldbenecessarytoreporttoyouatthistime，andofcourseIcomply，thoughIwouldhavepreferredtoputitofftillIcouldmakeabettershowing；forindeedIhavebeensopertinaciouslyhinderedandobstructedateveryturnbythefacultythatitwouldbedifficulttoprovethattheUniversityisreallyinanybettershapenowthanitwaswhenIfirsttookcharge。Byadvice，IturnedmyearliestattentiontotheGreekdepartment。I

toldtheGreekprofessorIhadconcludedtodroptheuseofGreek—

writtencharacterbecauseitissohardtospellwith，andsoimpossibletoreadafteryougetitspelt。Letusdrawthecurtainthere。Isawbywhatfollowedthatnothingbutearlyneglectsavedhimfrombeingaveryprofaneman。Iorderedtheprofessorofmathematicstosimplifythewholesystem，becausethewayitwasI

couldn’tunderstandit，andIdidn’twantthingsgoingoninthecollegeinwhatwaspracticallyaclandestinefashion。Itoldhimtodroptheconundrumsystem；itwasnotsuitedtothedignityofacollege，whichshoulddealinfacts，notguessesandsuppositions；

wedidn’twantanymorecasesofifAandBstandatoppositepolesoftheearth’ssurfaceandCattheequatorofJupiter，atwhatvariationsofanglewilltheleftlimbofthemoonappeartothesedifferentparties？——Isaidyoujustletthatthingalone；it’splentytimetogetinasweataboutitwhenithappens；aslikeasnotitain’tgoingtodoanyharm，anyway。Hisreceptionoftheseinstructionsborderedoninsubordination，insomuchthatIfeltobligedtotakehisnumberandreporthim。IfoundtheastronomeroftheUniversitygaddingaroundaftercometsandothersuchoddsandends——trampsandderelictsoftheskies。Itoldhimprettyplainlythatwecouldn’thavethat。Itoldhimitwasnoeconomytogoonpilingupandpilinguprawmaterialinthewayofnewstarsandcometsandasteroidsthatwecouldn’teverhaveanyusefortillwehadworkedofftheoldstock。AtbottomIdon’treallymindcometssomuch，butsomehowIhavealwaysbeendownonasteroids。

Thereisnothingmatureaboutthem；Iwouldn’tsitupnightsthewaythatmandoesifIcouldgetabasketfulofthem。Hesaiditwasthebastlineofgoodshehad；hesaidhecouldtradethemtoRochesterforcomets，andtradethecometstoHarvardfornebulae，andtradethenebulatotheSmithsonianforflinthatchets。Ifeltobligedtostopthisthingonthespot；Isaidwecouldn’thavetheUniversityturnedintoanastronomicaljunkshop。AndwhileIwasatitIthoughtImightaswellmakethereformcomplete；theastronomerisextraordinarilymutinous，andso，withyourapproval，Iwilltransferhimtothelawdepartmentandputoneofthelawstudentsinhisplace。Aboywillbemorebiddable，moretractable，alsocheaper。Itistruehecannotbeintrustedwithimportantworkatfirst，buthecancombtheskiesfornebulaetillhegetshishandin。Ihaveotherchangesinmind，butastheyareinthenatureofsurprisesIjudgeitpolitictoleavethemunspecifiedatthistime。

Verylikelyitwasinthisnewcapacity，astheheadofthegoverningbody，thathewroteonemorningtoClarkadvisinghimastothemisuseofawordintheCourant，thoughhethoughtitbesttosignthecommunicationwiththenamesofcertainlearnedfriends，togiveitweightwiththepublic，asheafterwardexplained。

SIR，——Theword"patricide"inyourissueofthismorning(telegrams)

wasanerror。Youmeantittodescribetheslayerofafather；youshouldhaveused"parricide"instead。PatricidemerelymeansthekillingofanIrishman——anyIrishman，maleorfemale。

Respectfully，J。HAMMONDTRUMBULL。

N。J。BURTON。

J。H。TWICHELL。

CLXVII

NOTESANDLITERARYMATTERS

Clemens’note—booksofthistimearefullofthevexationsofhisbusinessventures，figures，suggestions，andahundredimaginedcombinationsforbetterment——thesethingsintermingledwiththeusualbitsofphilosophyandreflections，andamusingreminders。

Aldrich’smanwhopaintedthefattoadsred，andnaturalistchasingandtryingtocatchthem。

ManwholosthisfalseteethoverBrooklynBridgewhenhewasonhiswaytoproposetoawidow。

OnebelievesSt。SimonandBenvenutoandpartlybelievestheMargravineofBayreuth。TherearethingsintheconfessionofRousseauwhichonemustbelieve。

Whatisbiography？Unadornedromance。Whatisromance？Adornedbiography。Adornitlessanditwillbebetterthanitis。

IfGodiswhatpeoplesaytherecanbenoneintheuniversesounhappyashe；forheseesunceasinglymyriadsofhiscreaturessufferingunspeakablemiseries，and，besidesthis，foreseesalltheyaregoingtosufferduringtheremainderoftheirlives。Onemightwellsay"asunhappyasGod。"

Inspiteofthefinancialcomplexitiesandthedrainoftheenterprisesalreadyinhandhedidnotfailtoconceiveothers。HewasdeeplyinterestedinBunyan’sPilgrim’sProgressatthemoment，andfromphotographyandsceniceffecthepresagedapossibilityto—dayrealizedinthemovingpicture。

DressupsomegoodactorsasApollyon，Greatheart，etc。，&theotherBunyancharacters，takethemtoawildgorgeandphotographthem——ValleyoftheShadowofDeath；toothereffectiveplaces&photothemalongwiththescenery；toParis，intheircuriouscostumes，placethemneartheArcdel’Etoile&photothemwiththecrowd—VanityFair；toCairo，Venice，Jerusalem，&otherplaces(twentyinterestingcities)&alwaysmakethemconspicuousinthecuriousforeigncrowdsbytheircostume。TakethemtoZululand。Itwouldtaketwoorthreeyearstodothephotographing&

cost$10，000；butthisstereopticonpanoramaofBunyan’sPilgrim’sProgresscouldbeexhibitedinallcountriesatthesametime&wouldclearafortuneinayear。By&byIwilldothis。

Ifin1891IfindmyselfnotrichenoughtocarryoutmyschemeofbuyingChristopherColumbus’sbones&buryingthemundertheStatueofLibertyEnlighteningtheWorldIwillgivetheideatosomebodywhoisrichenough。

Incidentallyhedidanoccasionalpieceofliterarywork。Earlyintheyear，withBranderMatthews，heinstructedandentertainedthepublicwithacopyrightcontroversyinthePrincetonReview。MatthewswouldappeartohavecriticizedtheEnglishcopyrightprotection，orratherthelackofit，comparingitunfavorablywithAmericanconditions。Clemens，whohadbeenamplyprotectedinGreatBritain，repliedthatAmericawasinnopositiontocriticizeEngland；thatifAmericanauthorssufferedinEnglandtheyhadthemselvestoblamefornottakingthepropertroubleandprecautionsrequiredbytheEnglishlaw，thatistosay，"previouspublication"onEnglishsoil。HedeclaredthathisownbookshadbeenassafeinEnglandasathomesincehehadundertakentocomplywithEnglishrequirements，andthatProfessorMatthewswasaltogethermistaken，bothastopremiseandconclusion。

"Youaretheverywrong—headedestpersoninAmerica，"hesaid；"andyouareinjudicious。"Andofthearticle："Ireadittothecat——well，I

neversawacatcarryonsobefore……TheAmericanauthorcangotoCanada，spendthreedaysthereandcomehomewithanEnglishandAmericancopyrightasstrongasifithadbeenbuiltoutofrailroadiron。"

MatthewsrepliedthatnoteveryonecouldgotoCanada，anymorethantoCorinth。Hesaid：

"ItisnoteasyforapoorauthorwhomaychancetoliveinFloridaorTexas，thosenotedhomesofliterature，togotoCanada。"

Clemensdidnotreplyagain；thatistosay，hedidnotpublishhisreply。Itwasacapablebombwhichheprepared，wellfurnishedwithamusinginstance，sarcasm，andridicule，buthedidnotuseit。Perhapshewasafraiditwoulddestroyhisopponent，whichwouldnotdo。InhishearthelovedMatthews。Helaidthedeadlythingawayandmaintainedadignifiedreserve。

ClemensoftenfeltcalledupontocriticizeAmericaninstitutions，buthewasfirsttocometotheirdefense，especiallywhenthecriticwasanalien。WhenMatthewArnoldofferedsomestricturesonAmerica。Clemenscoveredagoodmanyquiresofpaperwithcausticreplies。HeevendefendedAmericannewspapers，whichhehadhimselfmorethanonceviolentlyassailedformisreportinghimandforotherjournalisticshortcomings，andhebitterlydenouncedeveryshakyBritishinstitution，toucheduponeveryweakspotinhereditaryrule。Hedidnotprint——notthen——[AnarticleontheAmericanpress，probablythebestofthosepreparedatthistime，wasused，inpart，inTheAmericanClaimant，asthepaperreadbeforetheMechanics’Club，by"Parker，"assistanteditoroftheDemocrat。]——hewaswritingmainlyforrelief——withoutsuccess，however，forheonlykindledthefiresofhisindignation。HewasatQuarryFarmandheplungedintohisneglectedstory——AYankeeinKingArthur’sCourt——andmadehisastonishingherothemouthpieceofhisdoctrines。Heworkedwithaninspirationandenergybornofhisferocity。ToWhitmore，neartheendofthesummer，hewrote：

I’vegot16working—daysleftyet，andinthattimeIwilladdanother120，000wordstomybookifIhaveluck。

Inhismemorandaofthistimehesays：

Therewasneverathronewhichdidnotrepresentacrime。Thereisnothroneto—daywhichdoesnotrepresentacrime……

ShowmealordandIwillshowyouamanwhomyoucouldn’ttellfromajourneymanshoemakerifhewerestripped，andwho，inallthatisworthbeing，istheshoemaker’sinferior；andintheshoemakerIwillshowyouadullanimal，apoor—spiritedinsect；forthereareenoughofhimtoriseandchuckthelordsandroyaltiesintotheseawheretheybelong，andhedoesn’tdoit。

Buthisviolencewaned，maybe，forhedidnotfinishtheYankeeinthesixteendaysasplanned。HebroughtthemanuscriptbacktoHartford，butfoundithardworkthere，owingtomanyinterruptions。HewentovertoTwichell’sandaskedforaroomwherehemightworkinseclusion。Theygavehimabigupperchamber，butsomerepairsweregoingonbelow。FromaletterwrittentoTheodoreCranewegatherthatitwasnotaltogetherquiet。

Friday，October5，1888。

DEARTHEO，IamhereinTwichell’shouseatwork，withthenoiseofthechildrenandanarmyofcarpenterstohelp：Ofcoursetheydon’thelp，butneitherdotheyhinder。It’slikeaboilerfactoryforracket，andinnailingawoodenceilingontotheroomundermethehammeringticklesmyfeetamazinglysometimesandjarsmytableagooddeal，butIneveramconsciousoftheracketatall，andImovemyfeetintopositionsofreliefwithoutknowingwhenIdoit。I

beganhereMondaymorning，andhavedoneeightypagessince。IwassotiredlastnightthatIthoughtIwouldlieabedandrestto—day；

butIcouldn’tresist。Imeantotrytoknockofftomorrow，butit’sdoubtfulifIdo。Iwanttofinishthedaythemachinefinishes，andaweekagotheclosestcalculationsforthatindicatedOct。22——butexperienceteachesmethatthecalculationswillmissfireasusual。

Theotherdaythechildrenwereprojectingapurchase，LivyandItofurnishthemoney——adollarandahalf。Jeandiscouragedtheidea。

Shesaid，"Wehaven’tgotanymoney。Children，ifyouwouldthink，youwouldrememberthemachineisn’tdone。"

It’sbilliardsto—night。Iwishyouwerehere。

Withlovetoyouboth，S。L。C。

P。S。Igotitallwrong。Itwasn’tthechildren，itwasMarie。

Shewantedaboxofblackingforthechildren’sshoes。Jeanreprovedherandsaid，"Why，Marie，youmustn’taskforthingsnow。

Themachineisn’tdone。"

NeithertheYankeenorthemachinewascompletedthatfall，thoughreturnsfrombothwerebeginningtobebadlyneeded。Thefinancialpinchwasnotyetsevere，butitwasnoticeable，anditdidnotrelax。

AmemorandumofthistimetellsofananniversarygiventoCharlesandSusanWarnerintheirownhome。TheguestsassembledattheClemenshome，theTwichellsamongthem，andslippedacrosstoWarner’s，enteringthroughawindow。DinnerwasthenannouncedtotheWarners，whoweresittingbytheirlibraryfire。Theycameacrossthehallandopenedthedining—roomdoor，tobeconfrontedbyatablefullyspreadandlightedandanarrayofguestsalreadyseated。